Mary walked into her son’s, Brian’s room. She’d never been in it like this. Sure she’d come in to wake him up, make sure he was up or even to help with homework questions. But today she was here to pry into his private life, she was feeling a multitude of things, guilt by far was the strongest. Curiosity was next also the feeling of dread was quite high.

She was usually one to let her kids come to her but today seemed different, not really anything she could put her finger on but the echo of what her daughter was something she couldn’t ignore any longer.

Remembering the conversation well, it seemed like it had happened minutes ago not the two weeks ago that it had actually taken place. Her oldest child at 21 probably wasn’t a child or kid anymore but a beautiful young woman although she would always think of them that way because she still remembered the day they born and how small they had been.

Angela had come into the kitchen after dinner, and Brian had gone up to his room, like he always did. She sighed. Hi honey how are things going?

Hi mom, things are good, school is great and my classes are going well. Angela answered. Can I ask you something about Brian and have you not go all protective momma bear on me?

The question caught her off guard; she’d always wanted her kids to come to her with anything and always made sure that she told them that. But she also understood that when they complained about each other she would tend to let them figure it out together. And sometime she did go a little over board in protecting her youngest, him being five years younger than his sister, she sometimes felt that there was a little bit of Angela picking on him.

And with that in mind she also recognized that Angela sounded concerned and not trying to pick a fight. Plus if it was a fight she wouldn’t have the question the way she had, she’d have just went off in a statement.
Sure dear I promise not to go all momma bear on you until after! Mary joked.

Ok well don’t take this wrong, as she saw her mom bristle, um ok not how I wanted this to go. Look mom something major is going on with him I’m serious!

Ok why do you think that? Mary asked tight lipped, she’d promised after all.

Um…. I, I just saw some things and some things he’s said or reacted to questions I’ve asked have been met with either scorn or argumentative expressions.

Well what did you see? Mary sighed. Brian had definitely been different the last few months.

You know how he’s not been growing much right? He’s only as tall as me at 5ft10inches and I bet he weights the same as I do. But it’s not just that his clothes mom there so baggy you know.

It is the style now she replied, I don’t like them either but he seems to. She sighed.

Well ya, but that’s because he’s hiding things. Angela muttered.

Angela! Just say it! Said Mary.

Ok, um…. well I saw him when he came out of the shower in just a tank top and shorts and well he’s got boobs and hips and a waist like me mom! I was behind the corner enough that he didn’t see me since walked into his room so fast. Angela squeaked out.
And the day before I saw him come out of the shower I was watching a talk show that was talking about transgendered people on it, he asked me if I found it interesting or why was I watching it? I said that I found it interesting but that I felt the people in the show were mostly looking for attention, or that they might have a mental disease.

He got a look that was sad, but then it went to anger and he said, why watch it then? He got up and walked to his room and that was it. But I got the feeling it pissed him off and that’s why he left. He hasn’t talked to me really since.

Mary had tried to see what Angela had been seeing and she couldn’t because he was always dressed in his baggy clothes. His bedroom door suddenly began to be locked when he was in it and he seemed to have just further fallen into himself. Gone was the happy go lucky kid she remembered and now all she saw was a child dressed all in black and not even a hint of a smile.

Trying everything that she could think of to get Brian to open up to hadn’t worked if anything he retreated into himself more. She’d said if there was a problem medically she would take him to the dr. and they would figure it out. He’d said nothing was wrong and he felt fine and why couldn’t I just leave him alone.

So left with her only option she went snooping! Honestly she had no idea what she was looking for or what she would find, but she had to see if she could find something that would help in understanding her son.
She looked through his dresser and the closet she didn’t find anything no clothes like Angela had told her she would find. She started to think that she was just wasting her time. Sitting on the bed to think before she just rushed out of the room, the back of her leg hit what she thought was the frame but turned out to be a diary!