Part 3.2

I’ve been watching my best friend Brian, for weeks now and something is really wrong. I wish the duffas would tell me what’s up but he won’t. Brian’s been my best friend since kindergarten.

We live right next door to each other even our bedrooms are on the same floor and side of the houses. When we were kids we tried to set up a phone line with string and two soup cans but we must have used the wrong string because it didn’t work very well.

Anyway we do everything together; we go to the mall and shop. He has one hell of a fashion sense for being a boy. We play video games because we both like the mmo’s we haven’t had much time to do that because I made the girls basketball team. Maybe that’s it he just misses me? No can’t be he would tell me that, it’s got to be something bigger.

Hell if it wasn’t for Brian I wouldn’t be half as good as I am on the court, basketball is a love we both share. I don’t know why he has never tried out for the boy’s team he would make it and they totally have no one that could guard him. The shit is way fast especially with a basketball dribbling down the court.

There’s still lots of time before our tests and stuff so it can’t be school, and I know he’s smaller than most guys our age at 16 but he doesn’t get teased, at least that he says or I see. Maybe that’s it?

I really wish he would tell me, because I miss my BFF!

Earth to Jessica, Amber one of my girlfriends and teammate says.

Huh? I say as I blush for zoning out on them.

What is the matter with you? Asks Jenny my other girlfriend, yes the three of us are a matched set, we are together together. Not that anyone knows, well Brian may suspect but he’s never said anything.

Worried about Brian, something’s wrong and he’s not talking and it’s bothering me big time! I say morosely.

We’ll deal with it after the game tonight, we need to win this one so keep your head on track and then we’ll help you with Brian. Says Amber with a smile on her face.

Thanks girls, I say, that means a lot to me that you guys want to help me with Brian.

Hey speak of the devil here he comes, says Jenny.

I turn so I can see him, yup still the same moody boy with the baggy clothes packing his backpack over one shoulder even though we have lockers I chuckle to myself. He’s got long blond hair that he wears in a loosely tied pony tail that he places under his shirt so people can’t tell how long it really is. But I know because I’ve seen it after school when he takes it out, and when we play ball he always puts it up in a high pony tail like I do.

He has these killer blue eyes, he’s not real tall maybe 5’6” and probably 110lbs but with his baggy clothes it’s hard to say. I’ve tried to get him to wear clothes that fit better but he won’t. Even his shorts and shirt when we play ball are loose.

I usually tell him I wish he was a girl and it’s sad that his looks were wasted on being a boy. He just shrugs and says “life is what it is”.

Brian gets to our table and sits next to me and says hi to Amber, Jenny and Samantha, (don’t call me Sam I’m a girl not a boy)! And the girls say hi back and continue their discussion on makeup and how we are going to beat the Devils tonight.

Hey Brian, are you doing ok? I say after he sits down.

Hey Jess, how are you are you ready for the game tonight? Asks Brian.

I notice this glint to his eyes, it looks excited like usual when we talk ball but there is a touch of sadness there that has never been there before. Are you sure your ok? I ask again, you look sad today.

Ya I’m fine just have something I’m try to figure out and I’m not ready to talk about it yet. He replies.

Ok, well you know you can tell me anything right? I will always be there for you, you are my best friend and all that ok. I say.

Thanks Jess, I know that. He smiles for the first time in months.

Well I need to go call my mom and make sure she’s coming to get me for the game, see you in class Jess. Says Brain as he walks to dump his tray.

God I wish I knew what the hell was going on! I mumble to myself as the bell rings and I make my way to class.
It’s math and I hate it but it’s one of Brian’s favorites so he always helps the three of us with our homework so we actually have really good grades in the class. We’ve been in class maybe 15 minutes and Brian still isn’t in class.

Where the hell is he? I ask myself; shit as much as I’ve talked to myself today I think I might be going a touch insane. I’ve got to go find Brian this is definitely not like him to miss class.

I tell the teacher I’m off for the bathroom and head down the halls looking for Brian. I stop at my locker to grab my gym bag so I don’t have to stop after class and I can just go to the bus so we can go to Central High.

As I open the door a white envelope falls to the floor, that’s odd it has my name on the front I notice as I stoop to pick it up. It’s also written in a girls hand writing, one I don’t recognize big swirly letters and very neat and pretty.

My dearest Jessica
Let me introduce myself, my name is Britney
Britney? I don’t know a Britney at all, this is confusing maybe I’ll figure it out by the end.
We know each other very well but we have never met, I will always love you forever and ever and I’m sorry it worked out this way.
Jess my whole life I have felt different than anyone I knew,
Well if she’s gay that’s not an issue, I mean really I’ve got two girlfriends, I could help her out no problem.
Jess I know what your thinking and yes I’m a lesbian but I’m also transgendered. Yes Jess it’s me! your friend formally known as Brian.
I’m so so sorry but by the time you read this I’ll be gone Jess I know it’s a chicken shit thing to do or especially tell you in a letter but it’s all I got I could never bare to see the horror in your eyes let alone not be my best friend anymore.
I know this is a shitty suicide note but I’ve never left one before hahaha, sorry probably not a good time for a joke.
P.S. I told my mom and Angela you never had clue either just in case you thought they would be upset.
P.S.S. please tell Angela I’m sorry I ruined her favorite dress, and WIN THE GAME! sweetie
Love always Britney
I must have been in some sort of a daze while reading the letter because I never felt the arms around me or the tears pouring from my eyes. Its Jenny I can tell by her perfume and I glance at Amber and she’s reading the letter.

Amber takes off for the coach’s office, I kind of shriek at her to bring the letter back but she just keeps going.

Jen asks, I read it over your shoulder, do you think he’s already done it? Can we find him before it’s too late?

I don’t know, my sobbed answer almost a whisper.

Where would she go? I have no idea, it would have to be somewhere she could change for sure. She would have to be alone and it’s not

been that long since we went to class so it would have to be somewhere close. The answer slams into me hard.
The locker room! I shout as I stand up and take off. Jen running after me.

Jenn

I start to call Amber so she knows where we are, she answers and I start to say locker room, but all I get out is lock………….. when I hear the scream from Jess and I get around the corner. The scene is out of someone’s nightmare. Blood everywhere I see Jess holding Brian as I watch the blood pour from the open cuts on his arms.

Shit Amber call 9-1-1 get them to locker room asap he’s bleeding bad get here with the coach as fast as you can. Jess is no good she’s just sobbing and repeating why, why, why.

I run to the closet and grab some towels and ran back to Jess and Brian, I take one of the towels and shove one into Jess’s blood soaked hand.

Hold it on the cut as hard as you can the ambulance is on its way.

Amber and Coach Larsen show up, shortly after we got the towels on his arms. They come over coach is on the phone, with who I can’t tell.

When the EMT’s show up they kick us out of the way and begin to work on Brian. I grab Amber and together we engulf Jess in a huge hug.
Jess sobs I’ve got to call her mom, I don’t know if I can.

Coach Larsen comes over to us and says she will contact Brian’s mom. Jess screams over the noise in the room, her name is Britney not Brian the least we can do is honor that for one fucking day