In answer to her question my stomach cramped the next morning and I found blood on my underpants. “Well, there you are,” Leticia said, “You’re a girl for sure.” After that her teasing stopped.

TWINS by Marie, Part 25 - A New Life and Epilog
by Marie C

A few days later when I sat down to pee I reached under and felt an opening between my legs that hadn’t been there before. Leticia was still with us even after a week so I showed her. “My God, you are a girl now. I wonder if you’ll have periods too?”

In answer to her question my stomach cramped the next morning and I found blood on my underpants. “Well, there you are,” Leticia said, “You’re a girl for sure.” After that her teasing stopped.

I showed mom who suddenly became totally serious. “Here, use my pads.” She handed me a belt and box of Kotex and showed me how to put it on. There are some thinner pads she said but she didn’t have any around. I remembered Emma and Ana having problems like this but they never lasted long. I hoped I was the same.

I called the doctor and told her what was happening and she said to come right over. I didn’t think mom could deal with a trip to the city for a doctor’s visit, so I got Sandy to take me and Leticia to San Francisco. Sandy dropped us at the door and promised to come back in two hours.

The doctor went over me with a fine tooth comb including a pelvic. Then she X-rayed me from top to bottom. We had to stick around until the X-rays were developed so Leticia and I wandered around the shops on Union Square looking at neat things. Men kept staring and two boys followed us for a couple of blocks but didn’t have the courage to say anything.

When we returned to the doctor’s office the X-rays showed that I was completely a girl. “We’ll check the blood samples and let you know later, but there’s no doubt in my mind. I don’t know how it happened except that you must have been a girl all along. When puberty started all of your male parts were just sort of pushed out of the way.”

On the way back I told Sandy what the doctor said. She looked at me in a matter-of-fact way. “It’s pretty obvious,” and turned her attention back to the road.

Back in the office Dr Gardner wrote up her notes.

“Subject called me on his, now her own, excited and apparently menstruating. Mother is currently in shock over discovery of possible remains of her original daughter so felt it best to see subject without parent. Social Work staff will contact mother in an effort to be supportive. A young female friend accompanied subject to the examination.

“Superficial examination revealed a fully developed vulva and vagina during normal menstruation. A pelvic was attempted but detailed examination was difficult due to the flow. As per plan full body X-rays were administered revealing a normal uterus and vagina. No traces of male organs were present. Breast development had reached adult standards.

“Most amazing was the presence of a female pelvic structure and nearly closed bone epiphyses. The subject was virtually formed. She now has the body of an eighteen year old female, whereas just months ago subject was an effeminate, 13 year old male.

“This is an historically remarkable case for which there is no precedent as far as we can determine. Some journals have published second hand reports of similar cases although none have ever been reviewed under standard testing procedures.

When we got home Sandy said welcome to girls’ land. This calls for a toast and we drank big cokes with ice. Mom was in bed asleep when I checked. I guess she took her nerve pills. I had to change my pad as the flow was pretty heavy. My breasts were super sensitive and I felt icky all over. Sandy gave me a pill from her prescription. She has terrible cramps sometimes. Leticia gave me a back rub.

EPILOG

It’s been more than two years now. According to school records I’m seventeen going on eighteen. I’ve been secretly using Marlene’s name and birth certificate for some time. The only one at school who knows different is Leticia and she’s real cool about it. Mom and Zack call me Marlene because it’s easier than having to keep correcting each other. It really doesn’t bother me because I never really got used to the name Darlene.

As you may have guessed Leticia and I are tight now. We room together at Miss Benson’s five days a week and go home weekends. I talked mom into fixing my room so Leticia can crash there anytime she wants, which she does a lot because her family, especially her brothers, still hassle her for getting Leo in trouble. The judge let him off with a year’s probation because he gave evidence on Decker. But that wasn’t enough for the other brothers. It seems no one except Addie accepts the fact that Leo was hanging out with some real bad characters and knew it. Leticia's father and the other boys make her feel real creepy when she’s at home. I don’t know what happened to Decker. Locked up in a slimy dungeon forever, I hope.

Mom tutored the two of us so we could get into Miss Benson’s. Manny says Leticia has to learn how to be a lady so that’s why she’s there though Leticia thinks he just wants her out of the way. This thing with Leo has really split Leticia’s family, but whenever Manny says Leticia needs to be a lady she explodes but she goes to school anyhow because we’re together. Besides there are two girls from Caracas and Mexico City in our class and she may go visit one of them at Christmas.

There’s a real neat lady, Miss Ramá­rez, from South America who teaches all our Spanish classes and serves as Leticia’s and my advisor. So Leticia’s doing o.k. though sometimes her temper gets out of control. She has awful run-ins with two dweeby rich girls who are totally irritating. Sometimes Miss Ramá­rez and I have to sit on Leticia physically until she calms down. I keep telling Leticia she would be a good lawyer because she doesn’t take anything from anybody.

Miss Ramá­rez is real surprised that I can understand so much Spanish. So am I, but maybe I shouldn’t be.

School is still easy for me, so I don’t need to study hard. Except for Leticia my classmates seem pretty shallow and juvenile. A lot of them goof off, duck classes or hide on the grounds and smoke pot. A few come to me for help with their schoolwork so I’ve become a kind of unofficial tutor even though we’re all the same age, at least according to the records. I help them pick out new clothes though I won’t choose the far out stuff. They do that without anybody’s help.

Sometimes I even assist in the school office. The secretaries say I learn so fast I should help every day. Two days a week they leave me completely in charge at lunch time. Whenever parents tour the school the principal always asks me to be the guide.

We had to give away Marlene’s old clothes because they didn’t fit and were too childish anyhow. I had to start wearing mom’s skirts and blouses right after my period started. Most of them fit although there were a few we had to take in. We’re just about the same size now. Sometimes people mistake us for sisters.

Leticia and the other kids tell me I’m a geek for being so conservative but that’s the way I like it. I still don’t like pants and always wear hose and heels when I can. At school we wear a jumper uniform and flats with cotton socks — ick, ick, ick. I finally gave up on the corset but I keep it tucked away just in case. Besides it’s a souvenir of my Emma dreams.

Zack started calling again. He and mom are more or less going steady now. He stays over a couple of times a week and I think they might get married, at least I hope they do. I call him Uncle Zack because he likes it. Mom finally told him about me and he talked to our doctor. He’s never heard of anything like it although as a cop he sees lots of strange things.

He talked mom into selling the Nicasio house and we moved to San Anselmo near my school. I felt bad about leaving but agreed it was time to go. A young couple from Silicon Valley paid a good price so mom was able to get a much smaller three-bedroom in town that doesn’t need so much upkeep. The new owners of our old place have two small children, but I didn’t find out if they’re boys or girls. Also mom got lucky and is teaching part-time at a local public school. She might get a full-time position next year.

Jenny is still there by the creek tending her herbs and chickens. Mom drives me over every month to help out as it’s getting harder for her to take care of things. As a reward I get to play with her grandmother’s nice clothes. I found some just like Emma’s and used old hair pads to come up with a nice pompadour. I have some neat pictures of me in a shirtwaist and long skirt that mom took. We even arranged part of a room with old timey furniture so that the whole thing looked real. I’m so glad Emma and I could learn things together. I really miss her and wonder what ever happened to her. Someday I’ll try to find out if she married Mr. Crocker. Then I realize it was a dream, or was it?

Before we moved Leticia and I hiked the trail behind Bill’s cottage to the ruins. I realized this is where Ana might have lived. Somebody told mom that the adobes were destroyed during a big earthquake in 1865. A lot of people were killed. If Ana was there did she survive?

After thinking about it I’m starting to believe that both Emma and Ana were real people although I can’t really say so to anybody but Jenny. Jenny agrees but she can’t explain why either.

Old Bill died of a heart attack one night in bed with his San Francisco girl friend. Mattie won two million dollars in the state lottery, stopped cleaning up after other people and bought a small house in East Oakland. She spends most of her time now helping at church. She says I’m very pretty for a white girl.

As I feared the grave in Sonoma County turned out to be Marlene’s. A service was held at the little Catholic church and the whole valley turned out including Leticia’s mother and father. Marlene was buried in the little churchyard where Mom and I visit and leave flowers every week.

This past year Sandy hired me to help with her weekend sales presentations. I serve refreshments, set out chairs, easels, audiovisual equipment, smile at the clients and look pretty. She has me wear low-cut sleeveless blouses, push-up bras, short skirts, heels and that really silky sheer hose. My makeup includes high gloss lipstick and colored eye shadow. I’m not always comfortable dressed that way but she sells more computers when I look like that. She says to think of the outfit as a uniform. Mom frowns and says I look like a high class tart, whatever that is.

When I sit next to Sandy at sales presentations she wants me to cross my legs back and forth and pull at my skirt. That’s another part of the act I don’t particularly like. “If you make eye contact with a guy just smile and keep moving your eyes around the room,” she says. “If you hold eye contact he’ll think you want a date.”

I admit I get lots of attention from men when I’m all fixed up. I like it most of the time but it isn’t all pleasant. The young guys think I’m in my twenties and are dead certain I want to come trotting after them whenever they snap their fingers. That boy Eric came to one of Sandy’s sessions and he turned out to be even more conceited than ever. Sandy showed me how to brush off the Erics of the world with a sweet smile and quick step in the opposite direction.

I like older men because they’re the most thoughtful, especially the Frenchmen. A Mr. Le Clerc from Europe has a branch office in San Francisco and comes to all of Sandy’s sales pitches. “Marlene,” he says, “come to Paree and be my mistrass.”

He tells me he owns a special apartment overlooking the Seine which is just waiting for me. He would buy all my clothes and give me money and a car of my own! According to him people in his country never think twice about that kind of arrangement. He told me he’s married with four children of his own, two of them older than me! At school I found out the Seine was a river, but I had to ask Sandy what a mistress was.

Bert and I date regularly though not so much since I started school and the weekend jobs. He joined the Marines for a hitch, so I only get to see him every month when he comes up on leave from Camp Pendleton. I hope he doesn’t get sent overseas like dad. There’s too much war around and I don’t like it. Leticia and I even went on a big march in San Francisco to protest the war in Iraq.

Anyhow Bert is a genius at unhooking brassieres, buttons and zippers. Down inside I just wanted him to rip my clothes off and carry me away to paradise like they do in those drippy women’s novels. But I didn’t have sex with him right away. Mom noticed how close we were getting so she sat me down and explained all about birth control. She got some pills from Doctor Gardner which I take every day.

Before Bert graduated from high school he asked me to marry him and produced a big engagement ring. I was stunned but down inside knew that’s what I really wanted. I don’t want a fancy college degree right now. For now getting an MRS will be quite enough, thank you. So I said yes, but we’re not going to marry until I finish high school which will be this Spring. Mom promised to give her consent if I’m still underage.

After he gets out of the Marines in another year he has a job waiting at his father’s business so the ceremony will be sometime while he’s in a Marine Corps dress uniform. Mom and I have even gone out looking at wedding dresses. I think I’ve tried on a hundred! It’s so exciting. I felt like Emma was with me the whole time.

Just imagine I’ll be Mrs. Marlene Newman, very soon! One day I sat at my vanity writing my future name over and over and stopped when I realized I had covered three pages.

Before he graduated Bert took me to his senior prom and I wore the engagement ring. How could I not? The diamond is so huge, sparkly and expensive looking. Mom and I bought a sexy below the knee gold satin dress with a handkerchief hem, shirred waist and a deep v-neck halter top. Underneath I wore a matching bikini, garter belt and super sheer nude stockings. No bra! My shoes were delicious high-heeled gold strap sandals. I put on my own mother’s pearl earrings and a simple gold chain for a necklace and let my hair hang loose down my back and over my shoulders. I wonder what she would have said if she saw me then. I remember how much fun she had dressing me up so long ago. I can’t imagine how my father would have reacted.

Well, this outfit was so soft, thin and airy it felt like nothing and I could feel everything though it especially Bert. He was so handsome in his white jacket and tux. At that dance I ran into the girls from the mall and Grace kept saying “See, she always was a girl.” Bert looked puzzled at her comment but no one was willing to explain, least of all me, so I just grabbed him by the hand and led him back to the dance floor where we moved together real close for the rest of the night.

Afterwards we went to a party at a friend's house in Mill Valley which was built high up on the slopes of Mount Tamalpais and looked out over San Francisco Bay. We could see all the way to the city with the water shining like glass under a full moon. Apparently the friend’s parents were out of town and didn’t know about the goings-on.

Out on the second story deck I told him I wanted him to make love to me right now. Just strip me bare and do it right here on the deck in front of everybody. I was so worked up with wearing his ring after dancing so close that he could have done anything he wanted. But Bert was smarter than that and got his buddy to open a guest room that we could lock and was very gentle the whole time. Why I didn’t let him do it before I don’t know. Now all I can think about is babies and when can I stop taking this pill.

During our first love session I thought I heard a little voice say “Peter, you’re back, you’ve finally returned. I’ve waited so long.” Later when Bert woke me the second time that night he said I was talking in my sleep. “It sounded like Spanish,” he said. “You’ve been studying too hard.”

I can’t imagine being a boy. Once in a while I remember Darlene’s scrawny little body but it seems so distant and unimportant. Why would I want to be anyone else, especially since I’ve been blessed with beauty and a pleasant personality. I know a lot of girls who are openly jealous of how I look.

I still love getting dressed up. Leticia and I go through each other’s closets every time we get together.

I remember how Bert pushed me against the wall and kissed me when we were in grade school. He was rough but I still liked it. Other times I think about how Leticia and I used to play dress up at home with all the other kids, in and out of my big closet. It was so much fun. And my dolls and Growl, the bear.

Then I say “Marlene, stop it. Those are your memories! Not mine.” I get really pissed and then things stay quiet for awhile.

The End

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Thanks for your patience and for going along with all the twists and turns of my labored tale. And thanks to Erin and Sephie for all their outstanding work.

Marie C.