Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
Part 5.

"So where did you do your Yak breeding?" I asked tongue firmly placed in my cheek.

"Oh that?" she almost casually dismissed, "in a yak nursery, we used to have one but swapped it for a microscope."

"For a microscope?" I asked in amazement.

"Yes my fiance used to treat testicular cancer in ants."

"Ants have testicles?" I asked, the conversation was surreal but it was fun.

"Where do you think baby ants come from?" she demanded.

"A queen, she lays them all most of which become female workers, some are soldiers and others are like drone bees, fertilise the queen in order to set up a new colony."

"So you know all about ants then?"

"No but when I did biology in school, we had a formicarium in the lab. I found their activities fascinating. Some of the boys used to steal the eggs and feed them to the goldfish we also had in the lab."

"You weren't amongst them?"

"The boys, good lord no, I used to sit on my own at the front next to the girls."

"Next to, not with?"

"Sometimes the girls let me sit with them, sometimes they wouldn't. The same was true at lunch times and break times. There was one particular girl who didn't like me, don't know why. as far as I know I didn't do anything to upset her, not deliberately anyway."

"She didn't fancy you then?"

"Meeeee? Ha, that's a laugh. Why would anyone fancy me?"

"Because you're quite pretty, or would be with a bit of makeup."

I felt myself blushing. I had been described as girly or 'pretty-boy' throughout my school days, something which had carried over to university. It hurt me some days, other days it made me feel proud because someone was seeing me as I really was, a girl. But were they, or was it my fancy? Now someone was saying I looked like a girl and I should be delighted, but I'm embarrassed maybe even scared.

"Do you use makeup?" asked my hostess cum hairstylist.

"I have some at home," I answered feeling uncomfortable. The truth was I had odd bits and pieces I'd acquired from various places, supermarkets and so on, usually in places far from where I lived. I didn't use it much because it didn't always come off easily and may lead to my discovery and because I wasn't much good with it.

"Come on," she said, I'll give you a free lesson.

"What for?" I asked more in defensive manoeuvre than anything else, I felt that I was losing all control of the situation.

"Because you're a girl, isn't that good enough? Or aren't you, are you telling me porkies?"

"What do you mean?" I asked now feeling very threatened. If she was to turn funny, here I was stuck in the middle of nowhere wearing womens' clothes and high heeled boots, with a broken bike and no money or means of transport. How would I get home, and dressed like this?

"Well, are you really a woman or have you lied to me?"

I paused before answering and swallowed loudly. I felt choked and my eyes began to glaze as water gathered in them. "I haven't lied to you at all. I'm transsexual that doesn't make me anything at the moment, so I'm a nothing." The water escaped over the top of the dam and I burst into tears.

She walked up to me and hugged me. Part of me wanted her to hug me as tightly as she could because no one ever did, I was pretty well an 'untouchable', but there was a part of me which didn't really trust her. Was she playing with me and why?

"You silly goose," she said hugging me tighter, and a warm sensation spread slowly up my spine. "You are not a nothing, never believe that. You might not yet be who you wish to be, but believe that you will be one day, and it will happen."

"I wish I could believe you," I sobbed allowing her to squeeze me even harder, the warm sensation diffusing out from my spine to engulf my whole body.

"It's not me you have to believe but yourself, now come on dry your eyes and lets get some make up on them, better make it waterproof mascara, don't you think?" she chuckled as she grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs.