“I want to pick up some aromatherapy candles,” Mom replied, rubbing her protruding belly lightly. “I should have known better than to marry a martial arts instructor,” she added, as we walked out to the parking lot.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

She giggled. “Because I think one of your siblings just roundhouse kicked my bladder. You go on ahead. I need to go to the bathroom again.”

---

“Nice work. You picked that up really fast.” Alice’s praise was always welcome. It wasn’t as though her criticism was ever either unwarranted or unwanted though.

No, my sense of pride came from finally being able to move about without crutches or a limp. It had been two weeks now since the initial walkthrough on the old asylum, and I felt great!

“I’ve got a great teacher,” I giggled, mopping the sweat from my brow with a soft towel. She shook her head.

“No, I mean it. For someone who’s been laid up for a month, I expected you’d at least need some time to get your groove back, so to speak. I’ve got something harder for you and Jenn, but I’ll save it for tomorrow.”

I nodded as Mom waddled out to us with a tray of lemonade. She was already seven months in, and really starting to show it. Jennifer immediately rushed over to take the heavy tray.

“Here, let me help,” she offered. Mom smiled.

“Really it’s not that heavy!” she insisted.

“Yeah, but you know what your doctor said,” I added. I’d always heard nurses and doctors made the worst patients, but Mom at least relented whenever I reminded her.

“I suppose you’re right. Anyway, how’s practice coming along?” she asked as if she hadn’t just spent the last thirty minutes at her laptop in the kitchen, keeping one eye on us - probably to make sure I didn’t overdo it either.

“We just finished actually,” Alice answered with a warm smile, lifting one of the glasses. “Ohh, this is really good. Linda is this fresh-squeezed?”

Mom grinned. “As if there’s any other kind. Organically grown lemons too.”

“So would you two like to stay for lunch?” I asked, before Mom could. At least this way I could take care of the cooking without her feeling obliged.

Alice smiled as she shook her head. “Wish I could, but I promised my sister I’d go with her to New Haven. I’ll see you tomorrow though?”

“Can’t wait!” I answered, glancing at Jennifer. “What about you, Dances-with-Coconuts?”

Jennifer giggled. “Only sometimes!” she shot back, but nodded. “Sure, I could go for a sandwich maybe. Mind if I dunk my head in your bathroom sink first?”

I had to laugh. “Sure, go ahead. There’s shampoo in there if you need it.”

Jennifer shook her head. “Nah. I just need to cool down a little. That’s why you’ll never hear me complain about a wipeout when I’m out on the waves - even when the wave wins, there’s sweet, cool solace in losing.” She giggled, giving me that zen smile of hers as she bounded off to the bathroom.

“Oh hey, did you hear?” I asked, turning to Mom. “That house on the corner finally sold. I haven’t seen anyone move in yet.”

“It’s about time,” Mom answered and shook her head. “That house has been on the market for as long as we’ve lived here, maybe longer. I just hope the neighbors don’t mind all the noise,” she teased.

“Probably not. We can always tone it down if they do complain though, but I think they’re far enough up the cul de sac to only really hear Nikki’s bass.”

“Well, yes, but in fairness I can hear that over across town here,” she shot back with a teasing grin.

“What’re we talking about?” Jennifer asked as she returned, her long, wavy hair now absolutely dripping with water and matted against her neck and back.

I couldn’t help laughing as I looked up. “Oh um, we’re getting new neighbors over near Margie’s. That big house on the corner finally sold.”

“Wow. Really? That thing’s been empty for four or five years now. I’m kinda surprised you and Ash didn’t buy it, Linda.”

Mom smiled as I got up to start making our sandwiches. “We talked about it, but we like the extra storage space we have here, plus it’s not like we’re on the other side of town anyway.”

“And I can drive now, so it’s even easier,” I added. “Hey Jen, what do you want on yours? Lettuce, tomato, tabasco sauce?”

“Don’t you dare,” Jennifer giggled. “You know I have a tomato allergy!” She tried to keep a straight face, but Mom’s sideways glance caused her to crack up laughing. “Lettuce, tomato, and any kind of cheese you have handy is fine,” she added. I already knew how Mom liked hers. Though with the pregnancy her tastes had certainly changed.

“Ketchup and mayo on whole wheat with extra pickles,” I announced as I passed Mom a saucer with her sandwich. Jennifer wrinkled her nose.

“What, no honey?”

“Oh!” Mom exclaimed. “Honey would be perfect!”

Jennifer and I both giggled, and I set a bottle of honey on the table as I passed Jennifer her sandwich, sitting down between the two. “If there’s any good that can come from me never being able to get pregnant, it’s that I won’t spend my entire adult life regretting nine months of questionable food habits.”

Mom couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the kinds of cravings I had when I carried you. Honestly it’s a miracle you don’t have a permanent chocolate-covered-pickle craving.”

“I do have a thing for ice cream-covered french fries though now that you mention it.”

“Goofball,” Jennifer laughed, eyed the honey warily, and then picked it up, squirting some on her ham sandwich. “Ooh... Oh wow. That actually is pretty good.”

Mom grinned wide. “See? I’m not completely crazy.” We all laughed.

“Anyway, after lunch I’ve got to get a shower and go see my surgeon. She’s supposed to be flying in for a follow-up again.”

“Again?” Jennifer asked. “They must really be paying her big bucks.”

“Well, it’s partially that, but I also agreed to undergo an experimental procedure. I mean don’t get me wrong; it’s completely sanctioned by the medical community, but they want to know long term effects. On the short term, well,” I trailed off and grinned. “You saw me out there this morning. I feel great.”

“So like, will you be appearing in any medical journals?”

“Nah, nothing like that. The most I’ll get is an anonymous mention in a med student’s research paper I think,” I giggled. “But she seems nice, and I think she’s friends with Sarah’s sister LeAnne.”

“Oh, Michelle?” Jennifer asked, nodding. “Yeah, they’ve been dating a couple of weeks now. Nikki bought that cherry Shelby Mustang off her, remember?”

“Oh yeah! That’s the same person? Wow, talk about spooky.”

“There is no coincidence. Only the Force, there is, young padawan,” Jennifer replied in her best Yoda voice, causing me to crack up again.

“Cupcakes can lead only to the dark side. Well, that and my thighs,” I replied with a giggle as we stood to hug.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, hey?”

“See you then. Tell your Mom I said Hi.”

“Oh I will,” she replied and hugged Mom. “Linda, you take it easy.”

“I’ll try,” Mom answered, smiling teasingly back at her.

“I’m just going to go grab a shower really fast. Did you want to come with me?”

“I’d love to, dear. We can get some mother-daughter bonding in,” she answered. I giggled and hugged her.

“I can’t wait.”

“So, how did it go?” Mom asked as I stepped into the waiting room.

“Doc says everything looks great. There’s still some scar tissue, but she says that should heal with time.”

“Hey, Robin,” Michelle called after me. Michelle was, so far as I knew, a med student, but an incredibly intelligent girl. Despite being my age, she had some amazing insight into transgender treatment and surgical techniques. How she didn’t have her doctorate already was a mystery to me. How she withstood having all those piercings in her ears and navel was an even bigger one.

My appointment had actually been with her though, with my surgeon meeting with us via satellite, since she couldn't make it after all.

I turned back to smile at her. “Did I forget my purse again?” I teased. She laughed and shook her head.

“No, I just forgot to tell you one last thing. You’re officially cleared to start getting active again, if you haven’t already. Just remember not to push yourself too hard, too fast okay?”

I couldn’t help a small giggle. “I actually just had a cheer practice this morning. No acrobatics but we did work on some more athletic ground moves. Hey, how’s Taylor doing by the way?”

“She’s great. Just got her cast off this weekend. The first thing she did when we got home was change into her swimsuit and dive into the pool.” Michelle giggled.

I couldn’t help smiling. “Sounds like she’s really bounced back. She’s as strong as her sister,” I teased, giving Michelle a hug. “Tell LeAnne I said ‘hi’ when you see her.”

“In about thirty minutes,” Michelle answered with a broad grin as we parted ways, and I turned to Mom.

“So, where to now?”

“I want to pick up some aromatherapy candles,” Mom replied, rubbing her protruding belly lightly. “I should have known better than to marry a martial arts instructor,” she added, as we walked out to the parking lot.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

She giggled. “Because I think one of your siblings just roundhouse kicked my bladder. You go on ahead. I need to go to the bathroom again.”

I tried not to laugh as I watched her scurry back inside. On some level I think I felt a little relief that I’d never have to go through all that. I thought about the trade-offs as I sat in the driver’s seat of my car with the top down. A nice, cool breeze picked up, rustling the leaves of a nearby tree, and I smiled as Mom sat down in the passenger seat.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

I slid my amber lens sunglasses down over my eyes, smiled, and nodded. “Great. Just trying to decide if I’m actually lucky that I’ll never have to deal with pregnancy.” I giggled as we pulled away from the hospital. Mom smiled.

“I suppose motherhood is motherhood either way. The morning sickness, the 3am races against the bladder clock, the inability to look in a mirror without feeling like a beached whale... It’s all temporary. And this too shall pass.” She groaned after that, adding, “The sooner the better.”

“What did the doctor say anyway?” I asked as we rolled to a stop at a red light. I’d forgotten how relaxing it could be to just take a day trip to New Haven.

A whole year had passed since her car accident, and in that time I think we both changed a lot. It seemed like life constantly challenged me to be more than myself here, but at the same time getting to transition, to live as the girl I knew I was made me feel more confident to face those challenges.

“Everything looks good. I know everyone’s been worried about lingering side-effects from my accident - especially me,” she added with a sheepish smile, “But so far everything looks great. All my tests have shown a complete recovery.” She paused and squeezed my hand as we pulled away again. “I think a lot of that has to do with my wonderful daughter.”

I couldn’t help giggling. “And after a year, I still never get tired of hearing those words. I love you Mom.”

“I love you too sweetheart,” Mom replied warmly.

I forgot how much fun shopping with Mom could be. We spent the better part of the afternoon just window shopping, exploring New Haven. I did find a really nice present for Nicole though. I had a dinner date with her that evening, and she had apparently just pulled up whenever we got back to Mom and Ash’s house.

“Hey you,” she called as she stepped out of the car. “I’m not too early am I?”

“Never,” I answered cheerfully as we hugged. “Could you help us with the bags? We’ve been shopping.” I grinned. “Oh, but I’ll carry this one,” I added, holding up the bag from Wicked Wicks, the nice little new age bookstore we had stumbled across while we were out.

“Oh Gawd,” Nikki laughed, “You didn’t buy a book of spells did you?”

I giggled. “No. You know I’m not into that sort of weirdness. It’s a present for you.” I grinned at her and gathered a couple of shopping bags. Mom tried to get the rest, but Nikki shook her head.

“I got it, Mom.” She grinned innocently.

“I wondered how long it would take you to finally start calling me that,” Mom giggled, wrapping an arm around each of us as we walked to the door. Nikki and I both paused at the door to let Mom go through first.

“Robin told me to,” she answered honestly, sticking her tongue out at me.

“Well, technically I said you could.”

Mom giggled again. “It’s fine. I like it. Nikki you’re practically part of the family anyway. You and Allison and Jennifer. Now, if you girls will excuse me, I’m going to go soak my ankles before dinner. Just put those things anywhere, and I’ll put them away later.”

“Okay Mom,” we answered in unison, looked at each other, and started giggling.

“So what’d you get me? You better not have spent too much,” Nikki mock-glared.

I held up the plain white bag, and already the strong scent of blackberries wafted under both our noses. She quickly opened the bag to find the large black pillar candle. “Oh my Gawd,” she almost cackled, hugging me. “Robin! You nut! I love it!”

“I thought you would.” I kissed her softly as she hugged me. “When I saw it, I thought of you, and I just had to buy it. So where are you taking me for dinner?”

“I dunno. Where’d you want to go? We can swing by my house if you want to do the ritzy thang, or McDonalds is good too.”

“Ooh, McDonalds sounds good to me. I’ve been craving a chocolate milkshake for a couple of days now. Let me just change my shirt and I’ll be ready. C’mon up with me?”

“You want me to watch?” Nikki teased, tickling my sides.

I couldn’t help the squeal that escaped as I goosed her right back. “No, goof. I want to show you what I’ve been working on with Sarah! But you can watch if you want,” I added teasingly and kissed her cheek.

Upstairs, I had a makeshift storyboard like the ones Margie made for Aria Blade, with pictures drawn by Sarah. They were only black and white, and only some of the conversation bubbles had any text yet, but it was coming together a lot faster than either of us expected.

“Oh wow. Robin these are amazing!” Nikki exclaimed as she admired the different storyboards in the set. I stepped into my walk-in closet, taking down one of my Heedless Despair concert t-shirts.

“Thanks. I’ve had so much time on my hands with my recovery time,” I answered, stepping out into the hall. “Hey, do you mind swinging by Ally’s on the way home? I need to pick up my cat.” I giggled. “Ally’s catsitting for me since I knew I’d be in New Haven today.”

“Awww,” Nikki giggled, adding, “Hey, what’s this?” She pointed to my open notebook.

“Oh, that’s just a poem I’ve been working on. It’s nothing really.”

Though I seek you out eternally
through greater darkness lies,
I find no solace, no respite.
My pain, my struggle,
urging me on,
With no guiding light.

Encompassing shadows,
pulling me toward inevitable fear,
I will slay the macabre death
which longs to stay so near

“Creepy. Is there something you need to tell me?” she frowned.

I giggled. “Oh, God no, it’s not like that! It’s just, I love Heedless Despair’s music, so I wanted to try and write something in that same vein. It’s not anywhere near as good as the stuff they do though.”

“Oh cool!” Nikki practically bubbled. “You should show it to Moira!”

“No way,” I laughed. “It’s really not that good.”

“Yes it is!” she insisted. “I could so see Scarlet singing something like this like, with a Grim Reaper stalking her on the stage. Oh my Gawd that would be so cool!”

“Anyway,” I changed the subject, and she stuck out her tongue.

“At least let me snap a copy on my phone?”

“Sure, go ahead. This is just a hand-written copy. I have another one on my hard drive too that’s a little further along on being edited. I’ll email it to you when we get back,” I replied cheerfully as she snapped a picture of my poem with her phone.

“Yay,” she answered. “Oh, I think it’s my night to buy dinner,” she added as we walked downstairs. “I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I did pay last time too, but you bought me that awesome candle, so don’t even think about trying to pay tonight!”

“Fine fine,” I laughed, “But I’m buying the popcorn at the movie.”