© 2012, by Susan J. Charles. All rights reserved
Edited by Holly H. Hart

The days started to really fly by. Someone had put my performance of “Reach Out In Hope” on YouTube and views went into the millions almost as fast as Susan Boyle’s song had. I was approached to record an album with “Reach Out In Hope” as the featured song. After giving it a lot of thought, I decided I really didn’t want to be a singer. I had enough on my plate as it was. Still, I thought about how I’d kept expanding my comfort zone and the rewards I’d gotten from doing that. In the end, I compromised. I agreed to let “Reach Out In Hope” be released as a single download with all the proceeds going to the Children’s Hospital. I also agreed to record a few other songs and would periodically record more if those stirred any interest. I agreed to one photo shoot for publicity, but wouldn’t take the time to do any videos or concerts. Then I found out I really didn’t need to worry about a video anyway. They used videos of my dance number and finale recorded at the concert.

The next time I came to pick up Deanna to go to the clinic, the girls were all excited about hearing me singing on the radio. I was really tempted, but stuck to my plan in the end. I simply didn’t have time to start a singing career.

I went out on dates, but found many of the guys were just looking to score with a cheerleader. They were so obvious! Never in a million years would they realize that girls aren’t completely clueless and can see right through them.

It can be a burden to be a good-looking woman. A lot of guys see only the looks and the body and don’t even think to try to get to know the person behind those looks. It’s a real Catch-22 for us. We girls have to figure out a way to be attractive enough to catch the attention of guys. If we are too successful and turn out beautiful, however, we run the risk of not finding the deep connection with someone else that we long for. Many of us just wind up settling for something less than we’d hoped for.

Of course there were some really nice guys that I dated too. But, I just didn’t feel the connection I was looking for.

Sea Gals tryouts were held for the next season and I made it without any questions about my qualifications this time. I noticed my Sea Gal uniform and my bras were getting tight, so I headed back down to the shop where Karen had gotten my form and padding. When I showed the woman in the store what was going on, she nodded. “A lot of girls in transition go through that,” she said. “I have just the thing. You're far enough along for these now.”

She brought out some weirdly shaped forms and had to show me how they worked. They were designed to slip under my own breasts, forming a kind of shelf that provided padding underneath. When I put them in my bra, the tops of my own breasts were pushed up so that they were visible and provided cleavage. The forms just provided additional substance. With my Sea Gal top on, what I was now showing was all me. The forms were hidden underneath. That gave me a thrill.

We worked hard on some new routines I’d helped Terri develop for the season. I really liked performing our dances for our fans. I was even starting to be interested in how the team did during the season.

Karen and I went out clubbing and I had fun dancing with the guys. It was fun flirting, but I was careful to not take it too far. Karen kept urging me to try out my new equipment, but I just didn’t connect with anyone in that way.

I catered more dinners for the bank and Steve asked me to analyze several issues and opportunities. I prepared several more white papers on prospective investment projects. It turned out my paper on the Chinese project had been right on target. While the bank had realized a modest profit, it was nothing near what was expected. J.B.’s ego had gotten in the way of his business sense. As a result, he was no longer CEO. Madeline's investments and mine in rare earths were starting to pay off big.

I asked Karen to negotiate with Steve, since the projects he wanted me to examine had great potential, and I didn’t want to be paid just as an employee of the bank. In the end, I performed as a consultant, for a fee that included a percentage of any realized profits for either project. I ended up advising the bank not to pursue one project and to rapidly move forward on another. I can’t tell you what it was, but my bank account got considerably larger as a result.

I was increasingly involved in Cindy’s wedding preparations. One day we were trying on dresses and we found ourselves in the dressing room in just bras and panties. Cindy stopped and looked at my crotch.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you were a woman for the rest of your life,” she said. “Looking at you, I find it hard to believe I ever saw a male package between those gorgeous legs.”

“You have no idea how much better I feel now than I did. I just wish I’d done it a lot sooner.”

Then the attendant came back in with more dresses and we went back to putting on yards and yards of silk and satin. It was really fun and I couldn’t remember when I’d had a better day. I really liked seeing how pretty I looked in all those gorgeous dresses.

I'd started leaving off the padded panty when I was just going to be home for the day and discovered that I really didn't need it much anymore. My panties were beginning to fit just fine without it. And I was looking great in the dresses we were trying on.

As I bent over to place my breasts in the cups of the strapless bra I needed for some of the dresses, I realized I really didn't need much padding there, either. My breasts were filling my cups on their own. As I looked down at my new cleavage, I smiled. It felt right and I was proud of what I was seeing

Karen and I organized a shower for Cindy and we had a ball, especially with the games. As long as I’d been a woman, I still marveled at how gross and frank girls could be when they were by themselves.

As the wedding came closer, I ran into a problem. I’d be the maid of honor and Karen was one of the bridesmaids, but Jake’s best man was married and would be bringing his wife to the rehearsal dinner and reception. That left me without an escort. I didn’t mind, but both Cindy and Karen insisted I needed an escort.

“Having someone to be with you is a great help and a lot more fun,” Cindy said. She’d been a bridesmaid several times, so I assumed she knew what she was talking about. But, although I knew several guys casually, I really hadn’t been dating anyone special.

I was thinking about this as I drove over to pick Deanna up for her session at the Clinic. I’d fallen into the habit of holding an inspection of the house each week before Deanna and I left. If anything was really bad, Sarah and Millie had to fix it before I returned with Deanna. I wasn’t doing a military white-gloves inspection or anything like that, but I insisted the girls keep their rooms in order and keep the house generally clean and tidy. If they had done their jobs by the time we got back, we’d all spend time making cookies or something like that. I began to teach them how to sew too. Often, we’d cook dinner together and I’d stay for the evening.

This particular evening, I had a real treat for them. I had a beta version of a new program I’d been working on. Our new Marketing person had pointed out that what made us unique from the other products out there was our ability to translate a visual scan of the user into the program and produce images. It was Deanna’s face with different hair in my first version, but the software took the image and showed a 360-degree view of Deanna’s head. Of course, in later versions, we were able to add 3D.

This program I’d brought was a little different. Once I’d scanned them with the laptop’s camera, the program put the girls inside a version of a popular girl detective mystery. There on the screen, the girls could watch Deanna as Nancy, Sarah as George and Millie as Bess--all in 3D. This version was like watching themselves as characters in a film. We were still trying to decide if we should also offer an interactive version. There were some other interactive games already out there and we’d have to work through several copyright and trademark issues.

The girls were getting a kick out of Nancy/Deanna looking for clues to solve the mystery when Ken walked in. Then it struck me. Ken! He’d be the perfect escort for Cindy’s wedding. I wasn’t sure how he’d react, but before I could say anything, he came up and asked me for a favor.

“It’s time I finished clearing out my wife’s things,” he said. “I’m afraid I’m not very objective about this and need the help of a neutral person. Could you help me?”

“Ken, are you sure?” I asked. “I don’t want to intrude on anything so personal.”

“You’d be the perfect person,” he replied. “You’re a good friend and know our family well. I can trust you to be sensitive, but objective. Please?”

How could I resist such a plea?

“Okay, I’ll help, but only if you’ll do me a big favor too. I need an escort for Cindy’s wedding. You won’t have to do anything except accompany me to the wedding and reception.”

“It’s a deal,” Ken said smiling.

We arranged for me to come back over Saturday.

When Saturday came we set to work. The girls were still busy trying to solve the mystery, so Ken and I had the bedroom to ourselves. It was fairly easy to separate Donna’s clothing into “keep” and ”giveaway” piles. We kept some things so the girls could play dressup. Some of her sweaters and skirts were timeless and the girls might want to wear them when they were older. Much was simply too old or would be too outdated by the time Deanna and the others would reach an age where they might be able to wear them. We put the dressup clothes into one box and packed the rest of the keepers into other boxes that went into storage. I insisted that we keep the wedding dress. It’s every girl’s dream to at least try on her mother’s wedding dress and, perhaps, wear it at her own wedding.

We separated the jewelry into things to sell and things to keep for the girls. Again, I insisted on Ken keeping Donna’s wedding and engagement rings. Such things need to be kept within families.

Once we finished packing, we headed for the nearby consignment store. The things they didn’t take to sell went to Goodwill. Then I treated Ken and the girls to lunch. When I left that afternoon, I gave Ken a big hug. I knew this final letting go was an emotional time for him.

“Thanks so much for your help,” he said. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“It had to be done sometime. I’m glad I could help you.”

A few weeks later, I let the girls watch me record the other songs I’d agreed to do. I was amazed by the number of hits the YouTube videos had gotten and the number of downloads “Reach Out In Hope” had gotten. People were talking about me as the next Susan Boyle. I tried to downplay all the fuss, but I was getting some requests for personal appearances from Children's Hospitals around the country to help with their fund-raising efforts. I found I just couldn’t turn those requests down. I worked with Terri to come up with a routine I could perform at the fund-raisers. It consisted of a little dancing, a few of the songs I’d just recorded and ended with “Reach Out In Hope.” I then gave a little talk about all the good the hospitals were doing and how much more they could do with more money. I’m proud to say I was a hit. Many of the hospitals reported a significant increase in their contributions

Between my appearances, the software development, preparing for Cindy’s wedding, the research I was doing for the bank, and my Sea Gal duties, I was kept very busy. The catering became just too much, so I let it go. I was so glad I’d promoted Karen to CEO of the company so she could keep me on track.

She knew I wouldn’t compromise on my taking time to run Deanna to her physical therapy sessions followed by dinners with Ken and the girls. That was paramount and she helped me force other things to change or happen without me so I wouldn’t miss that time.

Next: A disaster at Cindy’s Wedding.