Dear Colleen,

First I must express my deep shame at being unable to prevent father from sending off that unseemly note to your mother. I should have been able to intercept that foul missive. Mother had warned the household staff to intercept all correspondence until father's anger had subsided but not all of the family servants are loyal to mother and I. Father is an imposing figure of a man and wields strong influence over many in our house. As Lord he was within his rights. But no man is without faults and we failed him in this time of difficulties.

Thank the maker that father seems resigned to speaking through his solicitor. Lord Henry is a prudent man, a long time friend of my father and more than a little enamored with my mother I'd dare say. Nothing untoward just a long enduring admiration from a distance. He will protect our best interests. This foolish battle between our families serves no purpose. The sooner father sees reason the better. As any proper child I respect and admire my father but in this matter he is wrong. I mean no disrespect but I speak truth.

He was raised to a far higher standard than that and knows not to insult anyone and in particular womenfolk. Please pass my good wishes on to your mother. Tell her I have nothing but respect and generous feelings towards the both of you. My father let the drink and the shock of our predicament overwhelm his higher nature. That is no excuse merely an observation.

My very dear Colleen, I regret deeply my accusatory tone regarding Lord Mathis. My own struggles with my altered emotions have me seeing conspiracies where none exist. I trust your judgment on this matter and if I have offended in any way I beg forgiveness. I trust your judgment in who you choose as friends or as potential suitors should this be your wish. I would expect no less of you.

Do not fear, Colleen, any foolish romantic entanglement between the wizard Charles and I. He is a man of the highest character though not born of the peerage. He never sees me without one or more trusted chaperones at hand. I admit this new body and spirit of mine react most agreeably in his presence but is it any different than you or I might have reacted in the presence of a comely young miss these last few years.

I learned a valuable lesson, this body and alcoholic libations of any kind are a dangerous mix. All else equal a women cannot tolerate alcohol as steadfastly as men. That I am now a full 3 stone lighter than before the transformation does not bode in my favor. Given my new proclivity towards, dare I say, excessive attraction to men, impairing my faculties would be insanity.

I must praise the forethought of my mother in testing this *hypothesis* in a controlled manner, though I did not know it at the time. She was teaching me to discern between various sherries and other feminine wines much as a man might be expected to know the difference between an Irish or a Scotch whiskey. In an embarrassingly few glasses my wits failed me and I was at the mercy of my animal nature.

I do not recall all that happened but if not for my mother and several maids steadfast resolve I would have put any harlot to shame. I am much ashamed at my weak will and pledge never to drink again or to be without a chaperone while in the company of men. The danger is too great.

You said your wizards had a remedy for this condition? If so please get word to me as to who there are and what must be done to obtain their services. I fear for my reputation and that of my family should this curse overwhelm me. I fight it with all my will, these strange desires but the enchantments are so strong. I am relieved you are spared this compulsion. I would kill myself if it was not for the pain it would cause my family or the joy it would bring our nemesis. Whoever did this is a reprehensible soul and must be brought to justice.

I pray we can meet some time soon. I need you more than you can know. I may have seemed accepting of my new status but I assure you I am a ship minutes from the rocks. Only with the kindness of my mother and maid can I function. Alone I would flounder most perilously, I am certain. The results of the experiment with drink terrifies me. Forgive me, Colleen, I have moments of despair. Likely some part of this hellish ensorcellement.

Do not let my Mercurial moods distress you , dearest cousin, we can fight this. I don't mean that we can become men again, that is impossible. But we can become proper women, respectable, admirable, intelligent, competent woman. Women like our mothers, if we are resolute in our efforts. That is surely a worthy goal. Until that day I must rely on your letters. They are a godsend.

Your devoted cousin,

Francis.

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( John in Wauwatosa)