“I am feeling much better, thanks”

“God look at you, I love what you done to your hair,said Megan with a smile”

“I know it’s great and the best part the extensions they put in hide my bald spot”

“It was pretty much the same; everyone wanted to know how you were doing.”

"Oh?"

“Mr. Landry slept through most of history class, was the best class I had today. Enough about me though, what did you do today beside the salon?”

“Mostly hit the stores and spent Daddy's money buying new clothes.”

“Yeah he was asking about you, he is worried”

“That is a hard question to answer Sarah; it is hard to see it from your point of view.”

“I would like to say, I would continue seeing Adam but only you know what is right for you”

“If you ask me though, I think that Adam would wait forever, if it meant being with you Sarah”<.i>

I thought about what Sarah said, could I have a relationship with Adam or anyone else for that matter? I had spent years alone, when it came to relationships, it was one disaster after another. I had been in the closet for years, as John Stevens and had tried being in relationships with men and woman

when I was with a woman, deep down, I was jealous of her because she had everything I wanted and on more then one occasion they told me that they felt like they were dating another woman.

If they only knew how right they were and it was true, it is impossible to go against your own nature; inside I had always been a woman. There were only a few times, that I tried dating men and even that turned out to be a disaster, mostly because of me.

If I was with a man, I wanted him to want me as a woman and not a man and that was not possible but deep down I wanted a relationship and was tired of being alone. Maybe things would be different this time, the only way to find out was to try, it scared me, but it was something I had to do.

“I think that I will see how thing go with Adam.”

“I know Megan, I can feel it every time that I look at him, what scares me is I think I love him too. I just don’t want him to get hurt if thing don’t go well,"  I said with a frown.

“Sarah, just be honest with him, and tell him how you are feeling.”

Megan was right Adam and I were going out tonight for supper, It was as good a time as any to have a talk with him and explain to him how I am feeling, and who knows maybe this time around things would work out, but there was only one way to know.

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?”

“Give me a call once you know Sarah, I better get home, you know how mom gets when I am late”

I walked Megan to the door with and seen her out then went back upstairs to my room, I needed to get ready for my date with Adam. I liked the baby blue sundress that I was wearing so I decided to just continue wearing it and just exchanged my sandals for a pair of heals. Then sat down at my vanity, the makeup job they had done at the salon was still good, all I needed to do was freshen up my lipstick, and I was ready to go.

Since I had a bit of time before Adam picked me up, I thought that I would have a look around my room and see what was actually here; next to my bed was a light stand that had a drawer. I opened it, inside was an address book, with a bunch of names in there, and now that I had access to Sarah’s memories most of the names were familiar to me. I placed it back where I found it and continued looking then hit the jackpot it was Sarah’s Diary. Inside it was her uttermost thoughts, I felt guilty reading it but knew that it had most of the answers about Sarah’s life and would make my life a lot easier if I knew whom Sarah really was.

I lay back on my bed at started reading about Sarah’s life. I skipped most of the pages and just went to what she wrote within the last year, I thought that would be more then enough. Most of the entries were about, Adam and Megan, and the things that they did together. Some were about Amy and Jessica, there was one that was about a weekend party where Sarah had too much to drink, and how lucky she was that she was staying over a Jessica’s, it was all pretty normal until about 6 months ago with Sarah mentions a nightmare that she said scared her half to death.

The following night she had the same nightmare, this time she goes into more depth about what it was about, I could not believe what I was reading.

“I had the same dream again last night, Dad and I are at a football game, I am on the field with Megan, Jessica and Amy, we are there as cheerleaders, Adam is on the field, He has the football and is running with it into the end zone and winning the game for us. After the game, I say goodbye to everyone and meet Dad out front. The two of use start driving home then a car crashes into us, it hits my side and I hit the windshield that is when I always wake up.

Sarah has this dream repeatedly, right up to the day of the accident. She seen, her own death months before it even happened. I could not believe what I had just read and it really shook me up.

"Hey beautiful,  he said with a smile that could melt the coldest woman’s heart. He handed me the rose, I took it and brought it up to my nose and smelled it.

“Thanks Adam, come on inside while I place this in some water”

“We better be going, we have a table at Gallagher’s for 5pm”

Adam and I headed outside to his car, where he was a perfect gentleman and opened the door for me before going around to the driver’s side and climbing inside. The started up the engine and we were off. It only took us about 10 minutes before we arrived at Gallagher’s, being a busy restaurant it was hard to find a place to park but eventually Adam found a spot, then came around and opened the door for me and reached inside and took my hand and helped me out of the car.

I looked at the restaurant, and thought that this place was going to be expensive, then turned to Adam,"You could have taken me somewhere cheaper, this place looks expensive.”

“I know but, I don’t mind spending the money, I am just happy that you are here with me”

I could not help but smile, and then noticed that the two of us were still holding hands as Adam opened the door to the restaurant for me. Adam and I made our way up to the front and met a waiter, who showed us to our table and left use with our menus.

“What do you want, Sarah?”

It took a few minutes before the waiter made it back to our table,“Good evening, are you ready to order?”

“We will have 2 cokes please,"  Adam said”

The waiter then left us to continue our conversation; I turned to Adam,"We really need to talk about our relationships. Megan dropped over earlier and the two of us had a talk about things, mostly we talked about you, Just let me talk first then you can alright?"

“Alright Sarah,"  Adam said sadly.

“Megan said that I should just be honest with you and she was right.”

“I can live with that, I was just so afraid that you wanted too end things with me,"  Adam said”

“No honey, I really do care for you that is what makes this so hard, for me. If I didn’t care then, breaking up with you wouldn’t be so painful, but I do care for you and the thought of seeing you with someone else, would tear me apart,  I said sadly.

“What is nice?”

“Having sometime alone together.”

“I guess you are right, we really haven’t had anytime alone together since I got out of the hospital.”

“It hasn’t been easy but I understand that you are getting reconnected with your parents. How are they handling things?”

“How do you feel about going back to school on Monday?”

“I am a little nervous but I will have you and Megan there so it will be alright”

“If you want Sarah, I can pick you up.”

“I did too Adam, I am glad you asked me.”

“I know mom, Adam and I talked about that too were just going to take things slowly.”

“Smart Girl,"  Mom said with a smile.