or
Up the Khyber and On the Run
When first we practice to deceive
Synopsis: A pregnancy simulator seems an ideal way of convincing Paul's wife that pregnancy is really not that bad, and they agree to try it on holiday on Seacombe Moor. But it's not just the jailbreak from Seacombe Prison that turns everything upside down for Paul. This story is complete but is being serialised in six chapters, to be released at approximately daily intervals.
All people, places and events in this series are entirely fictional. If you need medical advice about pregnancy, consult a doctor rather than the pages of this fictional story.
Chapter 4 - Probed by the Police
"Good afternoon ladies. I wonder if I could have a word?"
"Of course."
I had my back to the speaker and it was Sharon who answered. But I knew from the way it was said that this was the police. Fortunately, I had time to control my looks before turning to face the policeman who stood there.
It was mid-afternoon on Sunday. We'd been sitting on her patio in the hot sunshine, drinking lemonade and talking idly about all kinds of things. We'd just decided to go for a swim in the pool, so I had reluctantly gone inside my bungalow to put on the costume that Sharon leant me. Now, I stood facing her, as she tried to convince me I looked respectable.
But the policeman's eyes as they travelled down my body showed I was anything but, and, as I saw the desire appear in his eyes, I realised I didn't care. What's more, my reaction to his lust gave me a courage which had been previously lacking.
"We spoke to PC Sally Wright yesterday," I said. "I'm not certain there's anything else we can tell you."
"I'm PC Bull," he said. "And when PC Wright interviewed you, she marked you down for a follow up investigation." (Well, that was hardly a surprise after Sharon outrageously flirted with her!)
"Isn't she here?" I queried. "She was very understanding about our condition."
"I shall be just as understanding, I can assure you," he said. "But it's quite normal for follow ups to be done by another officer, in case they pick up something the first missed. So, shall we go inside where it's probably a bit cooler?" He looked exceptionally hot in his thick uniform. He gesticulated towards the door to Sharon's bungalow.
We had no choice so Sharon led the way, I followed and PC Bull brought up the rear. Sharon and I took a seat on the settee, and Bull sat on an upright chair by the table.
Sharon started the questioning, which clearly took Bull by surprise. "So, PC Bull. Don't you have a first name?"
"First name? Er, why do you want to know that?"
"You said you were going to be understanding. Using first names is a way of showing compassion. I'm Sharon and this is Anne. Now, what's your name?"
He looked a bit sheepish. "Richard, miss."
"It's Sharon, not miss, if you please," Sharon said. She eyed him up and down and then added with a grin, "I bet they call you Big Dick, don't they? Someone of your size?"
That surprised me, as he didn't seem particularly tall for a policeman, and he visibly jumped at the remark. Then he grinned back at her and said, "Only a few of my closer acquaintances call me that."
The two of them were smirking like Cheshire cats, and I was left feeling completely in the dark. What on Earth were they talking about? I gave him another glance up and down and that's when it hit me between the eyes - well, it didn't actually do that, you understand, as I'm certain you are already ahead of me on the particular part of Richard's anatomy which was large. Now I looked at it, it seemed enormous. Surely, he must be one of those freaks who stuffed rolled-up handkerchiefs into his pants. No man could have a prick that big, surely...
"Now Dick, would you like some home-made lemonade?" Sharon asked with a smile
"That sounds very nice, mi... Sharon. It's very hot outside."
"Then could I ask you to get some out of the fridge, and bring glasses for us all. And please take off that heavy jacket. It's making me feel hot just to look at you."
Bloody hell, the double entendres were coming out! Of course, now I'd had time to think about it, Sharon was doing to Dick what she had done for Sally, the previous evening. Making certain she was the centre of attention, rather than me. I had to give it to her, and no doubt would after we'd got rid of Big Dick.
I smiled at the two of them. Dick was clearly disconcerted by having to serve drinks to pregnant women, but realised he had no choice.
"No problem."
He got up, removed his jacket, prepared the drinks and then came back and handed them to us. I noticed as Sharon leaned forward to take hers, his eyes locked onto her deep cleavage.
"Shameless little hussy," I thought. "You wouldn't catch me displaying myself like that." Then a surge of excitement ran through me as a tiny voice replied, "Why not?"
"Your drink, Anne." Dick said as he passed the drink towards me.
I said, "Thank you, Dick," and leaned right forward to take it. I kept my eyes firmly on the glass, and managed to take it from his fingers as his hand started to shake.
"So Dick," Sharon said, "ask away."
"I'd like you to go again over the events yesterday between one and two pm. Now, PC Wright says that three of you travelled down together from London - you two, plus Anne's sister, Marianne Johnson. Is that correct?"
Well, of course, he'd got that wrong. I was about to correct him and say that Sharon had travelled separately by train, as we didn't know each other before yesterday when I noticed Sharon give a little shake of her head.
"Yes, it is," I said, realising as I obeyed her signal that she was now giving me an alibi for the whole day. "We arrived a few minutes before one pm, then we wandered around the grounds until check-in started at two. I know I went to sleep for a few minutes..."
"Thirty minutes," Sharon interjected.
"It wasn't as long as that, was it Sharon?" I asked.
She nodded, "Yes."
Dick nodded and ticked something in his notebook. "So what time do you think your sister started her journey back to London?"
"It must have been about half past two," Sharon said. "We checked in just after two, and then she carried the suitcases up from the car..."
I'd enjoyed seeing Marianne do that, whilst Sharon and I had sat on the patio and watched. She'd had to carry Sharon's suitcase even further, from where the taxi driver had dumped it, next to Reception. I could see she was seething with anger at me, but there was nothing she could say.
"...Then she helped us get organised in the bungalows, and stayed for a few minutes," Sharon concluded. "So would you say about half past two, Anne?"
"That sounds about right," I said, speaking with absolute truth for the first time.
"And your sister's name is Marianne Johnson?" He'd already asked me that, but he asked it rather differently this time, as though the name suddenly meant something to him.
"Yes," I said, whilst thinking, "Please, please, please, don't make the connection between Marianne Johnson and Marianne Black."
"Of course," Dick said. "I remember interviewing her on the road yesterday."
I was nonplussed. "You did?"
"That's right." He was flicking back through his notebook. "Yes, here it is. She was in a car stuck in the traffic jam near the accident." He suddenly grinned. "She's very attractive, isn't she?"
"Yes," I smiled back, and managed to bite back the words: "That was why I married her."
Then he said something which shook me to the core. "Her husband is quite a good-looking guy, as well, isn't he. The two of them appeared a very attractive couple sitting in that car, yesterday."
What did he say? I struggled to make sense of it.
Meanwhile Sharon covered for me, sensing I was upset by his remark. "He certainly is attractive," she said, ad-libbing like mad. "I quite fancy him for myself when Marianne finishes with him. But I'm surprised a man like you should look at him." The implication in the remark was evident.
"Looking out for the escaped prisoner," he justified. "We have to look very carefully at everyone's face."
He grinned. "We've even occasionally had 'em pretending to be women, but you can usually tell them." He stared directly at me.
He's sussed me! I thought, somehow managing to return a nice smile.
"Some have even tried stuffing a cushion up their jumper to look pregnant," he added, staring carefully at my breasts, clearly wondering whether they could possibly have been stuck on without a noticeable join.
"You appear very fascinated by our breasts," Sharon said, with an even nicer smile.
I think his mouth opened almost as wide as my own, although it didn't take me long to work out why she said it - she'd seen I was upset about Marianne having a man in the car and was trying to create a diversion, not even realising the real secret I was hiding. I wondered whether Dick would realise he was being led on.
"I'm sorry," he said, blushing deeply. "I didn't mean to cause any offence, but er..."
"And none taken," Sharon said. "I must say, I'm rather proud of what pregnancy has done for my breasts." She reached up both hands to the shoulder straps of her swimming costume and pulled them down her arms until her breasts popped out from beneath. "There. What do you say to those beauties?"
"They're gorgeous," Dick gasped.
"Well, if you think these are beautiful, you should take a look at Anne's. They are even more splendid." She turned to me. "Anne, pull your costume down so Dick can look properly."
"What?" I'd been thinking that Marianne had been in the car with another man pretending to be me, whilst at the same time, a prisoner with the same name as Marianne's brother had escaped from prison and was trying to get away from the area. Was I putting two and two together and making five?
"Oh, don't be such a prude." Sharon obviously couldn't know what was going on inside my head; presumably, she was imagining I suspected my sister was having an affair with another man. On the other hand, Marianne probably was having an affair with another man, and it was nothing to do with helping her brother escape prison. I'd always known she had lots of frolics and fun on these shoots, which is why I didn't feel too guilty about my frolics with Sharon.
"You're pregnant, after all," Sharon continued. "It's hardly as though your tits have never been seen by a male."
I suddenly realised that her diversion tactics would not only cover my turmoil over Marianne, they would also prove to Dick I had no cushion shoved into my swimming costume.
"OK," I said, "although I'm sure Dick has seen far more wonderful breasts than mine."
I mimicked Sharon's action and pulled my swimsuit down until my breasts - and most of my bump - were totally exposed. "Isn't that right Dick?"
"Oh God!" he said. "Your tits are so beautiful. You both are," he hurriedly added, in case he'd upset Sharon.
"I'm afraid sex is out of the question," Sharon said, "with us both being pregnant."
"Oh," Dick said, the disappointment sounding in his voice.
"But a tit-fuck and a blow-job would be alright. That is," she added, "provided you fancy one?"
"Oh yes," he said. "I really do fancy that."
I was amazed what Sharon was offering. After all, she was a lesbian who, I thought, hated men after her husband had left her pregnant.
"Do you want to make a start, Anne?" Sharon said.
"Me!"
"Well I can see that Dick would love to get going with a tit-fuck, and you're best qualified for that. After that, I'll give him a blow job. Unless you want to reverse rolls, that is?"
I almost said, "Bloody hell! No," but managed to avoid the first two words. After all, I reckoned it would be not too bad rolling my make-believe tits around his cock. Getting my lips around his cock and going down on him, as Sharon was prepared to do, was something I found revolting.
"Sorry," Sharon abruptly said. "I've got to go to the toilet," and she promptly disappeared into the en-suite and shut the door.
Going to the toilet, I realised, was something pregnant women did a lot of. I made a note that I should do the same.
"I bet you haven't seen many cocks this size before," Dick said, dropping his trousers.
Even if Dick had a tiny cock, those words would have been absolutely true. But he didn't have a tiny cock; he had a large beast, of a size that, if I'd still been Paul, would have made me feel inadequate.
But I wasn't Paul; I had to show him I was definitely Anne. To start with, I slipped off my swimming costume completely, so he could see I had a pussy rather than a prick and a set of crushed balls.
"Hell that is one tremendous monster," I said. "Let me get my tits around that."
Actually, it was incredibly difficult manoeuvring into a position where I could wrap my tits around it. It would have been difficult enough if I'd been pretending to be a non-pregnant woman, as it's not the kind of activity that men get any practice at doing. But with a bulge the weight and size of sack of cement stuck on my front, it meant I could hardly get close to him.
But needs must.
Eventually, I sat on a low stool with my back to a wall, whilst he stood with his legs astride me and leant forward against the wall. Once we'd got into position, it all became quite easy. I rolled my tits up and down his cock, whilst he screwed up his eyes, and muttered things like: "Oh God! That's wonderful. Go on! Go on!"
It gave me plenty of opportunity to observe not only the size of it - I've seen cucumbers smaller than that - but also the pure ugliness of the male penis seen from the receiving end. His huge, glistening, purple knob throbbed with excitement, and the horrible, blue veins stood proud from his shaft. With every heave of my tits along his cock, it seemed to throb even more, until I could sense he was about to come.
"My turn now," Sharon said, almost to my disappointment. I had really enjoyed giving him so much pleasure, and had been incredibly fascinated at the thought of him ejaculating up my neck and into my face. Ugh! Can you believe I said that?
She pulled Dick away from me, turned him around so he was facing her, then gently lowered herself to her knees and started kissing his cock.
"I'd better go to the toilet," I said, managing to get myself back on my feet.
Sharon now had her hands on Dick's arse, squeezing his cheeks with her nails digging into his flesh, whilst she took the whole length of his cock inside her mouth. I couldn't understand why it wasn't coming through the back of her neck, but I guess she was taking it down her throat.
"I'll go next door and leave you to it," I said, but I don't think they heard.
***
"Marianne. I wanted to talk to you. Are you somewhere you can speak without being overheard?"
With Sharon otherwise engaged, it gave me an opportunity to phone Marianne and challenge her about this man who'd been in the car. Who knew, perhaps he was in the hotel room with her now.
"Yes, of course I can speak," she said. "I'm glad you called anyway because I forgot to tell you that Wayne sends his love."
"Wayne!" I was taken by surprise. The only Wayne I knew was the outrageously camp, top fashion designer - one of the few who to my knowledge had never employed Marianne as a model - indeed there almost seemed to be an antagonism between the two. I'd met him a few times at functions, and he'd always pretended to make a play for me. (At least, I assume he was pretending!) I'd always wondered whether he did that to wind Marianne up, but she said he was like that with all males.
"You mean Wayne Williams?" I asked. "When did you see him?"
"I didn't like to say it in front of Sharon," Marianne said, "but the reason I got this job was because Wayne had been on a shoot in Seacombe, and since he lost his driving licence, he hasn't been able to get about very easily. He knew I was coming to Seacombe; this job suddenly came up in Bath, so he rang me and said, 'Give me a lift and the job's yours.' I could hardly refuse, could I?"
"Oh," I said. That took the wind out of my sails. "I thought you didn't like him very much."
"I think I may have misjudged him," Marianne said. "He was quite a lot of fun, actually. The really hilarious thing was when the police came up the line of cars looking for the escaped convict, Wayne said, 'Oh no! If it gets out that I've been on my own in a car with a beautiful woman, I'll lose my reputation. People will talk.'
"So I told the policeman," she continued, "that he was really you. Can you believe it? We could have got into terrible trouble if we'd been found out. It certainly puts you swanning around a hotel pretending to be pregnant into perspective."
Gulp. I kept silent.
"But Wayne was so funny," she continued."We couldn't stop laughing about it afterwards. And I think I might get some more work from him in the long term, so it's not done my career any harm.
"Anyway," she added, "what is it you wanted to talk about?"
"On, nothing, "I said, feeling bad about not trusting her. Of course her brother wasn't a paedophile and an escaped convict; of course she wasn't having an affair.
***
It never crossed my mind that Dick and Sharon would still be at it when I returned to her bungalow. After all, I'd made the phone call to Marianne, and spent some time in my toilet, and how long can a man uphold the kind of blow job that Sharon had been administering? (In Paul's case, I knew it would be about thirty seconds!)
But even as my eyes swept around Sharon's lounge, and realised there was no one there, I heard Sharon's little cries.
"Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Go on!"
"The bedroom opened directly off the lounge and the door was wide open. Sharon was on the bed in the same position I'd been in last night, whilst Dick was sliding his huge cock in and out of her arse.
Knowing how painful it had been taking the much smaller dildo that Sharon had been using, I couldn't imagine how much it hurt when he'd slid that inside her. But it didn't seem to make any difference now. She was in heaven, and he was clearly approaching his.
His thrusts were getting harder, slamming his entire length hard into her, so her face was being pushed into the pillow, and her entire body was shaking in time with his thrusts.
"Yes! Yes!" he yelled. "Y-e-e-e-e-s-s-s!"
I silently let myself out of the bungalow and went back to my own.
***
I was jealous. I was bloody jealous!
I thought Sharon didn't like men; that after leaving her husband she was a fully committed lesbian. Instead, she'd had it with the first man she'd met. And not only having sex, but having anal sex. OK, I appreciated the thing about SIDS, but she didn't have to enjoy it so much, did she? I mean, when I'd tried wearing the dildo last night and shafting her arse, she'd smiled nicely and said how much she'd enjoyed it. But then we'd quickly reverted to her shafting my arse, to both of our mutual satisfactions - I'd found wearing the dildo was nothing like as enjoyable as her arse-fucking, but...
"I'm sorry I left the bedroom door open," Sharon said. She'd entered quietly into my bungalow without me realising. "It's never pleasant coming across people at it like we were."
"It was my fault," I said. "I should have thought about it and knocked.
"But," I continued, "I thought you didn't like men - that you'd given them up."
"I've certainly tried to," she said, "and I only started the thing with Dick to distract you and him from what we were talking about. Did you manage to telephone Marianne?"
I was surprised. "How did you know I'd telephone her?"
"You were so clearly pissed that the man in the car wasn't her husband. Let me take a guess; she's been having an affair with your ex-husband, right? She's probably told you she's given up on him after he left you in the lurch like that. And now you find she's still shagging him. So you are incredibly pissed, and who can blame you."
I decided the best thing was to keep quiet and let Sharon make whatever assumptions she wanted, so I changed the subject. I smiled and said, "I can't believe you took that enormous cock inside you."
"I certainly hadn't meant to when I first suggested a tit fuck and a blow job," Sharon replied, recognising and going along with the change of subject. "But when I saw that wonderful monster, there was absolutely no way I could not have it inside me."
"But didn't it hurt when he shoved it in?" I asked.
"Hell, it hurt so much I thought he was splitting me in half," she said. "It was like being impaled on a pick-axe handle, only bigger. I had an immediate orgasm. It was fantastic."
"I think I'll leave that pleasure entirely to you," I said, shuddering at the thought.
"You have a wonderfully tight little arse at the moment," Sharon said, "because you've only just started using it for its most joyful purpose. But give it a few days of me hammering away at it, and I reckon we'll be able to slip Dick's cock inside you without you a murmur."
"If I don't murmur," I said, "there really doesn't seem much point in shoving it in." Then I couldn't believe I'd said that, because it meant I was actually contemplating the unthinkable - having sex with a man. But of course, I told myself, I'd only said it because I was acting the part of a rampant pregnant woman. Hadn't I?
Comments
Charlotte?
ALISON
Another wild ride!Do you think that you could make this like one of the 'Carry On'
episodes and call it "Up the Duff"?Just a thought!!Another great episode,
Thank you.
PS.For the uninitiated,"Up the Duff" is another term for the "Pudding Club".
ALISON
What a good idea, Allison.
Perhaps Kenneth Williams would have played the part of Wayne? Sid James as the policeman, I think.
'Carry on up the duff' - I like it :)
Another good episode, Charlotte, thanks.
Robi
SO! Is He Big Swinging Dick?
He definitely wasn't off duty, so he must have broken some rule.
But maybe the police don't have a prohibition against sex on duty. I'd love to know what he did with his truncheon.
Next time, maybe handcuffs will come into play?
Joanne
The Pudding Club - Chapter 4 of 6
Things are getting a bit wild with Sharon around.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Curiouser and curiouser...
I'm still intrigued as to Marianne's motivation in all this. She allegedly books a fortnight off modelling, supposedly so she can examine a nine month pregnancy close up (presumably to [a] put Paul off the idea of pregnancy, and [b] to remind her what damage it will do to her figure). But no sooner than they arrive than she accepts a new modelling job with someone who's allegedly disqualified from driving and is tempted to offer her further work (thus reducing the chances of her willingly getting pregnant from slim to negligible), on top of which her brother breaks out from the nearby prison. Not to mention the convenience of Sharon appearing on the scene in the neighbouring cottage. Talking of which, if Sharon is a GG, I wonder if her partner left due to her unfaithfulness, since she seems to be the world's biggest flirt!
Knowing Charlotte's previous stories, these are probably not mere coincidences, although the obvious assumptions we're guided into making are either wrong, or right for the wrong reasons...
Given this is supposed to be a two week break and as of episode 4 we're only about a day in to the break, it looks as though the entire situation will probably be wrapped up within the next day of timeline...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Motivation
Marianne is on a holiday with her lover. Her brother is on the lam as Sharon and called her when 'she' had to take a bathroom break so Marianne was prepped for Paul's outraged call. Neatly done.
But the why? Is she moving on? That's my guess.
Hmmm…
Having a devious mind, I wonder if Marianne planned the whole escape thing? If her brother is the escapee, was he posing as Wayne in the car when the police stopped them? Or is Sharon her brother disguised as a preggy woman in the same manner as Anne? There seem to be too many coincidences…
Hmmmm,
I wonder,
Morag NicLeoìd
Great
I'm really enjoying this and have little idea where it's going.
Looking forward to the final 2 chapters :-)
Hugs
Alys
Interesting series
but I would be sorely disappointed that this is all merely a very elaborate setup so that Marianne can 'justify' her infidelity by setting up Paul to be just as guilty - well you could have resisted Sharon - so that she can leave him high and dry, holding the bag and she gets off without having to to have a kid. Honestly though, a woman should have a kid no later than 35 due to health issues for both mother and child. If she does not want to have a kid, then fine, say so and end the damn relationship for an honest reason. Neither Paul or Marianne are angels in this whole mess but I have almost no doubt that Paul will wind up being Marianne's catspaw and wind up taking the fall for something.
This is not going to be a very black and white type of story I think.
Kim
Something tells me
that Paul is getting into the part of Anne rather too well....Bet he never thought he would be eyeing up Dick with what he has got in mind!!!
Another great little chapter Charlotte, Even now, With us being over half way through the story, I still haven't got a clue where this tale will finish, Not that i'm complaining though...I like a little mystery.
Kirri