Author's Note: Like most of my stories, this is a light-hearted cross-dressing romp. If humour, cross-dressing or romping is not to your taste, then please do not read. Otherwise, enjoy!

"Did you have to chat up those two girls in the next boat?" Helen hissed at him as he returned to the boat they had hired for the week.

"I was only being friendly," Dan replied, his heart sinking. When Helen had suggested taking a week off work over the Spring Bank Holiday and hiring a boat to tour some of Britain's inland waterways, he had been delighted she had suggested it, but astonished she had done so. They'd only been on the boat for twenty minutes, and already she was in a bitchy mood. "In any case, why are you whispering?"

"You can hear every word they're saying on the quayside," she said.

Dan grimaced. "I guess it's bound to be like that whilst all the boats are so close to each other. But we'll be on our way soon, with lots of room to make as much noise as we wish." Not that Helen ever screamed with passion as they made love. Their marriage was far too staid for that. "But during the course of the week, we'll probably meet up with the other people hiring boats from here, so we might as well be friendly with each other from the start."

"Have you put the empty suitcases back in the car?" she asked.

"Naw," he replied. "I thought I'd throw them in the river, and we could pack all our stuff into plastic bags when we come back."

"There's so little room on board. I thought you said it would be a luxury motor yacht."

"That's what the boatyard said on the internet site, which you found," Dan protested. "It was your idea to come on a boat, because you said your precious friends, the Crawfords, enjoyed it so much. Anyway, we have managed to pack away all the clothes you brought." Despite what Helen said, there was quite a lot of room, considering it was a boat. "It's almost three o'clock. We'd better go to that safety briefing."

"You're not going like that, are you?" She gesticulated at his dishevelled tee shirt and shorts.

"We are on holiday," he said.

"That girl in the next boat may look a dumb blonde, but she has fantastic clothes - they must be haute couture. I'd have thought you'd have wanted to dress to impress her."

He shrugged. He knew he could never win that argument. "We'll be on our separate ways, soon. Let's just go to the safety briefing."

She stared critically at his apparel. "At least you can take out all that stuff bulging from your pockets. What is it?"

Dan sighed, pulling out the contents of his pockets. "My phone. My wallet. My keys."

"Well you don't need any of that now. Isn't there a safe somewhere on board? You can put my handbag in there, as well."

"OK, I'll stick it all in the safe. Then, can we go to the safety briefing?"

***

The room where they were to have the briefing was almost full when they arrived.

"Hi," the girl called Tracey called out to him with a smile which set his heart fluttering. "We've saved you some seats." She pointed to two seats next to her and Fiona, the other girl of the pair, at the far end of the row.

Helen led the way and pointedly sat down next to them, forcing Dan to sit next to the wall, effectively cut off from the girls.

"OK, we're going to run a video, now," said Jake Tobbins, the owner of the boatyard. "We'd ask you all to pay attention as it's for your own safety." He pressed the play button on the remote, and then, in response to a buzzer from the next room, left to deal with a late arrival.

As the video started to play, the room erupted in conversation, and Dan could barely hear a word from the video, which he thought was probably quite important. Helen started talking to Fiona, and in spite of her apparent earlier hostility, was now all smiles as they talked about clothes, clothes and more bloody clothes.

Dan smiled to himself. Helen may have thought Fiona was the more attractive with her size ten frame, dressed in haute couture, but it was Tracey, who had the lovely knockers beautifully displayed in the low-cut top, who held his attention. They were sisters, apparently, but you'd never have guessed it. They had come on holiday together to celebrate Tracey's birthday.

On the other side of the sisters were a couple of guys who were clearly trying to make out with Tracey and Fiona. The one called Gary was sitting next to Tracey and going cross-eyed, trying to peer down at her tits without appearing to, whilst his mate Tim was enthusiastically chatting to her. If Dan really had been trying to pull the girls, he'd have been jealous. OK, so he was a bit jealous, even though he was perfectly happily married to Helen (wasn't he?). He decided to try to concentrate on the video.

After the video had stopped - and presumably, hardly anyone else had a clue what it had been about - the conversation continued unabated until Jake returned to the room. "OK everybody. Thank you for your attention. Now I just need you to sign the insurance form, ticking the box that says you have seen the video, and then you can all get on your way."

Of course, since Dan was sitting against the wall, he was the last person to sign the form and Helen insisted on having a long moan at Jake about the lack of storage on the boat, which he bore stoically. When they finally got to the quayside, all the other boats, including Tracey and Fiona's, had already departed, which Dan thought had probably been Helen's intention.

"Can we get off, then?" Helen had the nerve to say. "Everyone else has gone."

"I'll start the engine," Dan said. "You can stand by to cast off the mooring ropes."

Surprisingly, with everyone else departed, Helen started to enjoy herself, and as Dan put the engine into gear, she released the mooring ropes and skipped nimbly aboard. The boats had all been moored stern onto the quay, so moving off was easy.

Leaving the boatyard went quite uneventfully and, following the instructions in the video, he steered the boat towards the navigable channel in the centre of the River Combe.

"I know we talked about heading off up-river initially," he said, "but it would only take hour and a half to get to Seacombe. We could stock up there with things that were missing from the food box they gave us."

"Hmm," Helen replied with a smile. "That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Fiona and Tracey are heading down to Seacombe, would it?"

"Oh are they?" he said, as innocently as he could. "It's really no great shakes to me, whichever way we go."

"Let's stick to the plan and go up-river," Helen said. "We agreed that if we had time at the end of the holiday, we'd go down to Seacombe."

"Up-river it is," he said, turning the boat. It was a shame he wasn't going to see more of Tracey's knockers, but the way Helen was starting to prance around, perhaps they might enjoy this holiday after all.

***

You want me to jump over there?" Helen said, expressing so much disgust in her voice that he might have been asking her to leap into a cess pit.

"It's not far," he said rather curtly. Didn't she realise how difficult it was holding the boat in this position against the current, whilst she dithered about leaping a few feet onto the river bank with a mooring rope. He added, "You women are useless."

"In that case," she said, "I'll drive the ship. You can leap the gap."

After his scorn, which he was already regretting, he could hardly refuse, so she came and took the wheel, and he showed her how to manipulate the throttle to keep the boat in the same position relative to the bank. The problem was that when he got to the side of the boat, he realised it was much further away from the bank than he'd estimated. He thought of asking her to get nearer, but after his remark, he knew he'd never live it down. So, he pulled plenty of slack in the mooring line and leapt.

He'd have done it, to, if his foot hadn't slipped away from him as he landed, and he felt himself toppling backward.

S-p-l-a-s-h-h-h-h!

Actually, after he'd secured the mooring line to a tree and wiped the mud from his eyes, he felt it had probably been worth it, for Helen was laughing so hard, she had tears in her eyes - a sight he hadn't seen for years.

After a few more minutes of hysteria, she eventually managed to gasp, "You men are hopeless." The remark sent her into another bout of giggles, and Dan snorted good-naturedly as he climbed aboard, in desperate need of a shower. There was no one in sight along the river, so he stripped off his wet clothes on deck, rather than dripping all through the cabin.

***

"Helen. I don't mind you using some space in my wardrobe, but there was no need to remove all my clothes. What have you done with them?" Dan had come out of the tepid shower, still chilled and he was anxious to put on some clean, dry clothes.

"Oh! You men are hopeless," she said, still chortling as she came down into the cabin. "I haven't moved your... Oh!"

She stared into the open wardrobe filled with feminine clothes. She knew exactly who those haute couture clothes belonged to, but how had they got into Dan's wardrobe? He'd have to be a magician to be that quick a worker.

She turned to her wardrobe, and it was easy to see it contained Tracey's clothes. "Why would anyone change our clothes for Fiona and Tracey's?" she pondered. "It's crazy."

"They've what?" Dan asked. Then the realisation hit him, and he shouted. "Oh God! Oh my fucking God!"

"What is it?" she asked.

"You women are..." He'd been about to say 'fucking imbeciles,' but after glancing at Helen decided against it - she wasn't the imbecile. "...useless," he finished rather lamely.

"I haven't done anything," she protested.

"Not you," he said. "Fiona and fucking Tracey. They've gone off in the wrong, fucking boat. They've taken our boat, and we were left with theirs."

"I said she was a dumb blonde," Helen said, and she started to giggle again.

"What's so funny?" he shouted.

She stopped long enough to say, "It's just that the only clothes you currently posses are soaking wet, and that you'll have to wear something of Tracey's until they're dry. I'm sure you'll look very fetching."

To Dan's annoyance, she went off into peals of laughter again. It was all the worse because the day was starting to go cold. After his immersion in the river, the tepid shower hadn't properly warmed him. Now, the idea of putting his wet clothes back on filled him with dread.

He turned back to Tracey's wardrobe, since clearly Fiona's clothes would be far too small to fit him. There were a couple of Tracey's brightly-coloured sweaters that looked very inviting, but no trousers that he could see.

"OK, you win," he said. "Can you sort out something suitable of Tracey's for me to wear?"

She looked at him, her eyes sparkling, her cheeks wet where tears had been running down her face, and he couldn't help but share her enjoyment of the moment.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" he groaned. "OK, do your worse."

It was all the invitation Helen needed, and she pulled out a red and white sweater and a short red skirt. "Fiona told me that Tracey doesn't wear trousers," she said. "They make her bum look too large."

As he made to pull the sweater over his head, she said, "Oh you must wear something underneath, otherwise you'll sweat into it. Hang on..." She bent down to the drawers beneath the bunk, opened one and pulled out a frilly pink top with shoestring straps. "How about this?" She was desperately trying not to laugh, which contorted her face into one of absolute joy.

He sniffed and slipped it over his head.

"And you'll need some panties, as well," Helen said, pulling a pair of French knickers from the drawer. "Here you are."

She had to turn away from him then as she creased up into more laughter, which was fortunate as Dan realised he suddenly had an enormous hard-on. He pulled the French knickers up his legs pushing his erection down one of the legs where it poked out beneath the lacy material.

"You're obviously enjoying this more than I expected," Helen said, turning around at that moment and looking down at his panties. "You'd better put on your skirt, straightaway."

The trouble was he found wearing a skirt even more erotic, and when Helen turned around to pick up the sweater, he grabbed her around the waist and then grasped her breasts tightly.

"You are enjoying this," she repeated, after lifting his skirt with one hand and feeling his hard cock through his panties.

"And you're about to," he said.

They both did.

***

"We have to get going," Dan suddenly sat up. "We need to motor down to Seacombe, find the girls and swap boats. Presumably, they'll have discovered their mistake by now, so they are probably heading back up river to find us. I'd give the boatyard a call, but both our phones are in the safe on the other boat."

"I could do with a shower," Helen said, "but if you want, I'll come up on deck and help you to cast off."

"It's alright," he said. "I won't repeat the same mistake twice."

He didn't. With the boat properly moored, it was relatively easy to step ashore, cast off both lines and then nip back on board before the boat drifted away from the bank. It was strange walking in a skirt with the fresh air circulating around his balls. His penis, which had been relaxed after its strenuous exercise a while ago, suddenly went rock-hard again.

Helen couldn't see him now, so he allowed a big smile to cross his face. He sat in the helmsman's seat, giggling like a schoolgirl as he wriggled his legs and demurely pulled down his skirt, before opening the throttle and setting off.

The boat was well downstream by the time Helen came up from below.

"I think this quite suits me, don't you?"

He turned around to find Helen in an outfit he hadn't seen before.

"That's Fiona's!" he gasped.

"Dead right it is," she replied with a smile. "But I can be hardly expected to wear the same, boring, old clothes all day, and if those girls are stupid enough to drive off with someone else's boat, they deserve to have their clothes worn by their poor victims. In any case, they can try on your clothes and mine, if they wish."

"If they wish," Dan mused, thinking how unlikely it was that Fiona or Tracey would want to wear his clothes. "There's something else, isn't there?" he asked, noticing that Helen was not only obviously excited, but that she held something behind her back.

She grinned such a wide grin, he knew it was going to be another dig at him. "I was wondering," she said, "whether you wanted to be a blonde," she pulled a short blonde wig from behind her back and held it before him.

"Or a brunette," she added, pulling out a long brown wig with her other hand."

She was so happy, Dan couldn't help but respond, with a smile. "Hmm. I'm not certain. Which do you think?"

She pranced over to him. "Oh I think definitely a brunette. The long hair and the fringe would suit you much better." She dropped the blonde wig and flicked the other over his head, and adjusted it into position.

"There." She held a mirror before him. "What do you think?"

For the first time that afternoon, Dan actually could see a woman staring back at him, and he was startled. "I think you were right," he said. "I am definitely a brunette rather than a blonde."

"That's not all," Helen said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," she said, "I found something else in Tracey's drawers. Something which explains those enormous breasts she has."

"What is it?" he asked. "A Wonderbra?"

"Oh something much more impressive than that," she said, stepping back down to the cabin to pick up an item she'd left just inside the doorway. She came back to him with it clasped behind her back. "Do you want to hazard a guess?"

He shook my head, revelling in Helen's excitement. "I haven't got a clue."

"Well," she said, "how do you fancy these for a pair of tits?"

She quickly brought something from behind her back - something flesh-coloured and quite heavy - and pulled it across her own chest.

"Bloody hell!" Helen was sporting a massive pair of tits on top of her own blouse. Dan took another look. "They're false tits."

"I should hope they are. I can't imagine many women wanting to have this pair permanently attached to their chest. I reckon they must be at least Double-Ds, more likely, an E-cup."

"But hang on," Dan said. "You're saying these are Tracey's but she has a large pair of tits already. She couldn't have been wearing these this afternoon."

"From the label on the box," Helen said, "they are made in Seacombe. My guess is that she's just replaced these tits with a pair she picked up earlier today."

Dan shook his head, trying to grasp what Helen was saying. "You mean those tits Tracey was showing off this afternoon were as false as these? Impossible. In any case, they were smaller. Why would a woman decrease her breast size?"

"Lots of women do," she said, "and you're going to find out why, in a minute."

"In a minute..." Dan was puzzled, and then realisation dawned, "No! No way, Jose."

"Come on," she said. "Don't be a spoilsport. No one else will see."

"We'll be in Seacombe, soon," he rambled. "There's not really time..."

"Look," Helen said, pointing out the window, "we're only just approaching the boatyard we left two hours ago. It's another ninety minutes to Seacombe. That's bags of time. You pull off your sweater and top and I'll just go below and get the gel we have to spread on you to stop you sweating."

It was rather unfortunate that Dan and Helen were so engrossed with his new breasts that they failed to notice a boat identical to theirs docking at the boatyard, and two girls go charging off to find the manager to tell him their clothes had been spirited away and replaced by someone else's. It took Jake ages to work out what had happened, and then, having earlier watched Dan and Helen leave upstream, he could only suggest the girls follow them and try to locate their boat.

***

"Hell!" Dan said. "These are enormous - like some porn queen might have."

What made them look so realistic was that it wasn't simply a pair of huge, false breasts stuffed into a bra, it was more of a skin-coloured crop top with wobbling, joggling breasts built into it. It had a long neck which started just beneath the jaw line, stretched from shoulder to shoulder and reached down to end beneath the breasts. You could just about see the join where the arms emerged from the shoulders, but that could easily have been a mark made by a bra strap, as could the slight line around his back.

"I'm surprised you know many porn queens," Helen said. "But if they don't make pots of money, I'd say it was hardly worth the agony of carrying that pair around with you, all day long."

"Thank God they invited bras," he said. "My back was aching within seconds of putting these on. It's much better now you've found a bra to fit me."

"You really fill out the sweater nicely," she said. "Stay there, it will only take me a few minutes to make up your face, then we two girls can enjoy a little time together."

She saw the look in his eye and said, "No! No, Dan!

"It would be too dangerous whilst you're steering.

"No!

"Oh God! Yes!"

***

"Where did you put your wet clothes?" Helen asked, coming in from the deck as they approached the first signs of Seacombe. "I can't find them."

"Well you took them off me after I got undressed," Dan said. "Didn't you hang them up?"

"Of course," she said. "I hung them on the trees where we were moored. But what did you do with them when you cast off?"

"Hung them on the trees! Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know. They must still be there. We have to go back."

"We can't navigate when it's dark," Helen pointed out. "There's no time to go back, and then return here. If we can find Fiona and Tracey's boat, I'll go and see them, and bring back some of your clothes. In the meantime, you'd better take off those breasts. I expect that will be a relief."

"You bet," Dan said, although actually he'd been fascinated at having those wonderful boobs stuck on his chest. "Can you take the wheel whilst I strip off?"

The wig, sweater, top and bra quickly came off, but when Dan tried to remove the breasts, they appeared to be adhered to his body. "Can you help me?" he asked Helen.

She tried to get a fingernail under the edge but apart from causing him a lot of pain, she was unsuccessful. He had another try, and then she did. Finally, they had to give up.

"What the hell are we going to do?" Dan asked.

"There must have been some adhesive in that gel that came with the boobs to stop you sweating," Helen said. "Once we've done the changeover with the girls, we'd better find the shop that sold them. In the meantime, isn't that the girls' boat - or should I say our boat - moored over there?" She pointed towards the Seacombe quayside.

"It looks like it, but remember all these boats look the same. It could be anyone's. But what am I going to do?"

She looked at him, unable to stop herself grinning at his predicament. "You'd better slip on the pink top, just in case anyone sees you whilst you steer the boat alongside theirs. There's no time to put your bra back on, and in any case, they'll only see you from the distance. As soon as we're alongside, I'll nip on board with the mooring line and secure it, you cut the engines and get below deck. Prepare to go into the toilet, just in case I can't stop them coming on board. I'll tell them you have wet clothes and bring back some jeans and one of your sloppy sweaters for you to change into, and perhaps that anorak as well, to bulk you out. It's not perfect but it's the best we can do."

The best laid plans! He managed to expertly bring the boat right up to the side of the other boat, and Helen nimbly stepped on board with the mooring line. Before she could secure it, Gary and Tim promptly came out of the cabin! Tim took the mooring line from Helen and secured it to a cleat, whilst Gary stepped aboard their boat, picked up the rear mooring line and passed it across to Tim. Then Gary turned towards Dan.

"Hi. Glad you could drop by..." Gary's mouth dropped open as he stared at Dan's massive, bra-less boobs, barely contained within the pink, frilly top."

"This is my... sister-in-law, Daniella," Helen said, having hurriedly scrambled back onto their boat.

"Hi, Daniella," Gary said. "You look..." he struggled for words, "...very nice in that top."

Dan smiled, frightened to open his mouth.

Having secured the mooring line, Tim came aboard, saying to Helen, "I must say, Helen, you look absolutely stunning in that outfit. Is it haute..." Then he saw Dan -- or more accurately, saw Dan's breasts - pursed his lips and gave a small whistle. "I was expecting to see your husband steering the boat," Tim said. "I hadn't realised you'd got a third person on board."

"This is Daniella," Gary said. "She's very... pretty, isn't she?"

"Yes," Tim agreed. "Very pretty."

Since neither of them had yet looked at Dan's face, Helen thought they had a strange definition of prettiness. "We left Dan at the boatyard," Helen said, thinking on her feet. "Daniella is Dan's sister."

Gary briefly looked at Dan's face and said, "Oh yes. I think I can see a resemblance," before his eyes switched back to Dan's breasts.

Tim said, "I wonder if we could take you two ladies out to dinner, this evening?"

"That's probably not a good idea," Helen said. "You see..." For an instant, words failed her; then she knew what she had to say. "We're lesbians," she said.

***

"Do we really have to shave my legs?" Dan whined. "Surely, if I just wear thick tights, no one will see the hair."

Helen smiled; earlier that day it had been she who'd been whingeing. But ever since they'd cast off, they'd had so much fun. Admittedly, most of it had been at Dan's expense, although it hadn't all been misery for him - she secretly thought he was tremendously enjoying the whole thing, but that his male ego wouldn't allow him to admit it.

At least they could now talk without being overheard. They had moved their berth away from the boys, and with the wind increasing, the chop of waves slapping against the hull and the wire rigging of the adjacent sailing boats clack-clacking against their masts, it was difficult enough hearing each other without shouting; no one else was going to overhear.

"We're not going to shave your legs," Helen said. "We're going to use Fiona's hair remover to ensure you have beautifully smooth legs. And you can't wear thick tights with that sexy little black dress - it's going to be semi-sheer stockings, so you'll have to wear a suspender belt, as well."

Dan groaned. "Oh why did you tell them we were lesbians? Surely you know that the challenge is irresistible to many blokes - especially those like Tim and Gary."

"Well I didn't know, actually," Helen said. "And it's hardly as though you were coming up with any useful input to the conversation. Anyway, we're going to have a much better meal than I could have conjured up from the miserable food box provided by the boatyard. Don't forget, we're relying on these guys to pay - all of our cash and bank cards are in the safe on the other boat."

Dan had not forgotten that. In fact, although he wouldn't admit it to Helen, the lack of money was the only thing which really worried him. Secretly, he was ecstatic about dressing as a woman with these enormous breasts, and even if he was discovered, it was hardly as though any of their friends back home would find out. He knew Helen would never give the game away, for back in the world of the Crawfords, it would be regarded as seriously-freakish behaviour.

"Incidentally," Helen said, "you appear to have stopped practising your new voice." They had experimented for some time, and eventually Dan had succeeded in forming the words at the top of his throat, rather than in his chest, which produced a quite plausible female voice.

"Well," Dan said in his new voice, "I hope you're not expecting us to have sex with those guys."

Helen grinned. "You can if you like, but I'm strictly a one-woman woman." She gave him a kiss on his nose, but before he could take it further, she pushed him towards the shower with the hair remover.

***

"It's really all our fault," Tim said, later that evening as they perused their menus.

They were sitting in one of the larger pub chains which concentrated on food - hardly the kind of smart restaurant the 'girls' had expected, so they both felt rather overdressed. Of course, for Dan, anything would have been overdressed.

He had on a little black dress, cut low enough to reveal his tremendous cleavage whilst still remaining semi-respectable. Helen had forced him to wear the stockings (and he could feel the suspenders erotically digging into his legs), and black shoes with spiky heels high enough to make walking difficult, but without raising his height too much.

Ever since he had de-haired his legs, he had been besotted with their sexiness, so although he had protested to Helen, he was revelling in the sensations provided by the shoes, stockings and suspenders. Even his bra straps digging into his shoulders made him feel good, knowing that it was the very size of his breasts which caused the problem. The one garment he was not happy with was the control brief he wore to keep his prick under control. Helen had chosen one of Fiona's, stating that Tracey's bum – and hence her panties – was far too big to properly control his monster. The brief was incredibly tight around his legs, almost cutting off his circulation, and although his cock had felt alright as they set out, it was now extremely uncomfortable. Pretty soon, he'd have to go to the toilet to straighten it out but the thought of going into the Ladies terrified him.

Oblivious to Dan's difficulties, Helen smiled at Tim. "Why is it your fault?" she asked.

"Gary was totally smitten with Tracey," Tim explained. "So after we'd signed the insurance form, we thought it would be rather fun to open a bottle of wine and share it with the girls. We nipped back to our boat, opened the bottle and then took it with some glasses over to their boat."

"They still hadn't arrived," Gary said, "so we thought..."

"Gary thought," Tim interrupted, "that it would be a neat trick to be standing on their boat with wine in our glasses when they got back. That way, it would be difficult for them to refuse our offer."

"So when Tracey and Fiona came back from the briefing," Dan said, understanding flooding through him, "they saw you standing on the deck of a boat, which they obviously assumed was your boat. They got onto the boat next to it, thinking that would be theirs, when of course, it was actually ours."

"We thought it was even more of a laugh," Gary said. "That they would quickly notice they were on the wrong boat and come over and we could have a joke about it."

"The problem was," Tim continued, "the boatyard had left all the ignition keys in the locks on all the boats, so all they had to do was to start the engine and cast off the moorings. By the time we'd started yelling to them, they were already setting off, and they either couldn't hear us above the noise of the engine or they chose to ignore us."

Dan said, "You let them go? Just like that?"

"We immediately jumped into our boat and chased after them," Tim said. "The problem was their boat was slightly faster than ours. Try as we could, we couldn't catch up with them and eventually, they were out of sight."

"Later, we saw them coming back," Gary said, "but they looked so ferocious, we decided not to try to stop them or say anything. After all, there wasn't much we could do."

"Except apologise?" Helen asked, and they both had the grace to look sheepish.

Just then, one of the bar staff brought over their drinks and took their order.

"Is it possible to turn the TV off," Helen asked him, nodding to the set on the wall behind her. She hated TVs in pubs.

"I'm sorry, madam. The football will be on soon. A lot of our customers wouldn't want to miss that."

Personally, Helen thought that missing football on TV was a good reason to go out to a pub for a meal, but she kept her silence and it was a few minutes before conversation resumed.

"From the way that Dan was watching that safety video and pointedly refusing to join in with your conversation with the girls," Tim said, "I rather assumed he was coming with you on the boat. I was rather surprised he's not here."

"Unless perhaps," Gary interjected, showing he was rather more astute than Helen had suspected, "you were not very happy about the way he was trying to chat up Tracey and Fiona."

"You're right," Helen said. "I did have words with Dan about it, but it was after that he fell in the water..."

"He fell in the water!" Both Gary and Tim were jubilant, whilst Dan was annoyed she had mentioned it.

"He fell in the water," Helen continued. "That was when we discovered our clothes were missing and worked out what had happened about the boats. It meant that Dan had nothing to wear, so off he went, leaving Daniella and me together to enjoy ourselves."

She gave Dan a sweet smile, which he returned. She had given, he realised, a very plausible account.

"Does that mean Dan might return when he gets some fresh clothes?" Tim asked, rather apprehensively.

"We certainly hope not," Dan quickly got in. "Don't we, Helen?"

Helen looked at him, smiled and nodded. "We certainly do."

"That's great," Tim said. "That leaves the four of us together."

"It leaves me and my lover, Daniella, together on one boat," Helen said, with a smile to take away the sting, "and you and Gary on another, currently trying to pull us two lesbians."

"But you must swing both ways, Helen," Tim said, "since you're married to Dan."

She shrugged, but thankfully her reply was interrupted by the football starting on the TV. Tim and Gary lost all attention to the girls to stare goggle eyed at a point three feet above their heads for the next forty-five minutes.

Meanwhile, the girls enjoyed eating the most expensive steaks on the menu, and paid a couple of trips to the Ladies to sort out Dan's plumbing problems.

It was during the first trip that Dan expressed his unease. "Look, they still think they're in with a chance of pulling us," he hissed at Helen. "Why didn't you tell them to clear off."

"They are paying for our meal," Helen pointed out. "The least we can do is give them a little hope."

"The story of a successful girl's life," said a woman coming out of a cubicle. "Lead 'em on and keep 'em hoping."

"You bet," Helen smiled at the woman. She turned back to Dan. "The trouble is, Daniella, you are just too naïve."

"How can you be naïve?" the woman asked, "when you have boobies that size."

"She's just getting used to the effect they cause," Helen explained.

The woman paused to stare carefully at Dan's bust and neck, and then said, "Oh they're from Big Busts, aren't they? You're very brave to wear them - I'd never dare wear any that size but I do keep thinking I should purchase a pair - perhaps just a C or a D-cup."

"Daniella has been trying to explain to me whereabouts in Seacombe Big Busts were," Helen said, "but she's hopeless with directions. Can you explain?"

The woman gave explicit directions and after she had left the Ladies, Helen said, "At least we know where they are now. Shouldn't take long to pop down there tomorrow morning and ask them how to remove the breasts."

"Thank heavens for that," Dan said. "I'm dying to get rid of them."

"Liar," Helen said.

"What?"

"I said you were a liar," Helen said. "You're enjoying all this as much as I am." She gave him a quick kiss on his nose. "It's alright. You don't have to pretend. This is fun and we don't need to make up any excuses to have fun together. Right?"

Dan looked at her and said, "Right."

"You know," she said, "when Tim said that I swung both ways, I was thinking that sex with Daniella was so much better than sex with Dan. What do you think?"

He paused. "It's certainly different and... well, yes, it's bloody good. But I wouldn't want to be like this forever."

"How about for the rest of this holiday?"

"You're crazy," he said."

After they returned to their seats for the second time, the football match had just called half time. Now, it was Tim and Gary who went dashing off to the Gents.

"You can see why I quite like you, now," Helen said softly to Dan. "A night out watching football is par for the course with lots of blokes."

Gary was first to return from the toilets. "Are you enjoying the match?" he asked Daniella.

"Great, isn't it," Daniella said, winking at Helen.

"Abso-bloody-lutely," Gary said.

A waitress clutching a TV remote control interrupted them. "I've been asked to change the channel just for a second. A customer wants to try to catch the lottery results."

"Turn the bloody thing off," Helen said, but no one took any notice.

"Oh!" Dan said, glancing down intently at his breasts as though he'd only just seen them. He lifted his hands and cupped his breasts in both hands. "Amazing," he said.

"They're incredible," Gary said.

"Looks like we've missed the lottery," the waitress said. "I'll turn it back to the football."

"Turn it off," Helen said, but was again ignored.

"Oh God!" Dan suddenly shouted, grabbing hold of his breasts with both hands. "That's so amazing!"

People were turning around to stare at them. Even Tim and Gary looked embarrassed.

"Oh God! That's so fucking erotic!" Dan screamed.

"I think we'd better get a breath of fresh air," Helen said, grabbing Dan by his arm and dragging him to his feet. "We'd better see you guys back at the boat."

***

"What happened?" Helen asked as soon as they'd got aboard their boat.

"I'm not certain," Dan said, tenderly clutching his breasts, as he'd done since leaving the table. "It's totally weird, but my breasts have come to life."

"Come to life?" Helen wondered if perhaps the stress of the day had been too much for Dan.

"Look," Dan said. "I put them on this afternoon and they felt just like what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"Well, just like putting on a vest, or something. You feel it against your skin when you first put it on, but don't notice it afterwards."

"And?"

"That was it. I could feel the weight of my breasts pulling on my shoulders, but my breasts had no feeling whatsoever, just as you'd expect."

"And now?"

"Well, Gary came back from the toilets and was wittering about the match, and suddenly it was as though real breasts had been grafted onto my chest. I could feel the edge of my dress rubbing against them. That's when I grabbed hold of them, and I could feel my hands squeezing my tits. I couldn't work it out. Inanimate objects are not supposed to behave like that."

"But something else happened after that, didn't it?" Helen asked.

"My breasts went into supersensitive mode. I felt my nipples go hard, and when I rubbed them, it was exquisite. I couldn't stop myself from screaming."

Dan turned towards her. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you. I don't know what's happening. These breasts must be magic or something."

"There's no such thing as magic," Helen said. "That woman we met in the toilet knew about them and she said they were good, but not magic."

"But I can still feel the slightest touch on them," Dan said.

"Close your eyes," Helen commanded, "and then you can tell me when I put my finger on your breast."

Dan obediently did so, saying, "Don't touch my nipples. They are just too sensitive." Then he added, "You're running your finger down my left breast... now you've moved it to my right."

"This is remarkable," Helen said, "but it's hardly beyond the limits of technology. Lots of laptops have touch-sensitive screens, and I guess somehow that feeling could be transferred to your own skin. But what suddenly turned it on? It's not as though we haven't grappled with your breasts several times since you first put them on without that happening."

"The waitress had a remote control for the TV," Dan's mind was suddenly crystal clear. "She pointed it at the TV just above my head to switch it to BBC 1. That's when my breasts first came alive. Afterwards, she switched it back to the sports channel, which is when they became so incredibly sensitive."

"Let me get the remote for our TV," Helen said, moving across to the TV set and picking up the remote, "and I'll point it at you and press zero."

She pressed the button and Dan's breasts became inanimate objects again.

"It's worked," he said, grabbing his breasts and squeezing them. "I can't feel them at all."

Helen pressed another button on the remote and Dan gasped. "Oh that's nice," he said.

"Good," Helen said. "We'll keep it at sensitivity seven all night long."

Such were the delights of their bed, it was eleven o'clock next morning before they had breakfast. Helen had found a note stuck on their door. "Sorry you had to leave the pub. We thought it would be better if we headed off early this morning. I expect we'll meet again sometime over the next week. Love, Tim.

"Looks like the boys have departed," she called to Dan.

"That will save an embarrassment," he said. "I still can't believe how I behaved in the pub when my tits came alive."

"Erotic, though, wasn't it?" she said. "The sex was fantastic afterwards."

What had really been fantastic was that after an exquisite orgasm, a few licks on his supersensitive nipples gave him a wonderfully hard erection within seconds, and they were at it again - and again - and again. Helen had enjoyed herself, as had Dan.

They grinned happily at each other for a few seconds before Helen said, "I think we should go over to Big Busts this morning, and see if they can get you out of these tits." Seeing his reaction, she added, "You'll still wear them, of course, until we meet up with the girls."

He gave a shrug of resignation. "If I must."

"After we've been to Big Busts," Helen continued, "let's set off up river. Provided we don't take too long to get off, we could probably get up to Dorton, tonight. That's only half a day behind our original plan."

"Sounds a good idea to me," Dan said.

***

"Money is going to be a problem," Helen said over breakfast.

"It's been worrying me quite a lot," Dan said. "We don't have a penny to our name. We can't even buy a drink."

"Do you think the girls left their valuables in the safe, like we did?" she asked.

"They did," he said. "I checked the safe and the combination is no longer set to 0000."

"Then all we have to do is to try every possible combination."

"Ten thousand combinations," Dan said. "If it takes ten seconds to try each number, that's 360 per hour, or about thirty hours. It'll take us several days... That is unless..."

"Unless?"

"Tracey told me her birthday is this week. We could try using the four digit combination of the day and month for every day this week. That's only seven combinations - six if you discount yesterday. Let's give it a try."

Tracey's birthday was on the following Tuesday - at least, 2705 was the combination which opened the safe to reveal two handbags, which between them contained quite a lot of cash.

Having got this far, Dan was having second thoughts. "But we can't simply take their money," he said. "That would be stealing."

"We leave IOUs in its place," Helen said. "Sign and date it, and put our address on it. Then no one can stay we were stealing the money. Don't forget, they took off with our belongings. We're simply trying to minimise the inconvenience."

***

Getting Dan dressed took far longer that morning than it had the previous evening, as Helen was not satisfied with any of the clothes Dan put on. Whilst he had looked great in the little black dress last night, this morning, his breasts looked grotesquely large in almost everything he tried on. And he tried on almost everything! Twice!

Eventually, Helen settled for a blue, skinny top and a matching skirt that was so short, Dan knew his panties would be exposed with every step he took.

As they walked through the streets of Seacombe, Dan realised the problems of living with large breasts which Helen had identified last night had a great deal of truth about it. Everyone stared at him! To be accurate, the men stared spellbound at his breasts, whilst the women looked at him as though he was a tart.

After just a few minutes, he said, "I don't know how Tracey coped with this attention. I really do feel like a freak."

"You can see why she went to a smaller breast size," Helen said. "What makes it worse for you is that your hips are so narrow, it makes you far more top heavy than Tracey. Her bum was so big, it balanced everything out. We'd better get you some Minimiser bras before we go back."

"Yes please." Dan could not believe he was saying that. A day ago, he'd thought that Minimiser bras were the devil's creation – now he desperately wanted to wear one!

***

"I'm afraid the red gel is permanent," the assistant in Big Busts told them.

"Permanent! You mean I'm stuck in it forever!" Dan screamed.

The assistant smiled. "No, nothing like that. Eventually, the outer layer of skin is shed, and the Bustlet can be removed with it. It normally takes about two weeks."

"Two weeks! That almost is forever," Dan moaned.

"I am really sorry," the assistant said, "but the user guide is quite specific about this."

"Can't it be cut off?" Helen asked.

"There's a high risk your skin might be damaged in the process," she replied. "Look, what I can suggest is that rather than trying to fight your situation, you adapt to it. You'll find the Bustlet is extremely comfortable for the next two weeks; why not get a Hiplet to go with it?"

"What's a Hiplet?" Helen asked.

"It's a similar garment which goes around the hips and groin area," she replied. "The advantage is that it will make your hips and bum so much wider, that you will look much more balanced than you do now. And the gel will make everything feel much more comfortable."

"You want to glue my genitals between my legs?" Dan said with horror.

"We can use a different type of gel between your legs," the girl said. "The green gel keeps everything comfortable for a few hours, but you'll need to open the crutch of the Hiplet at least three times a day and thoroughly wash it."

"That sounds a good idea," Helen said. "I'm sure we can manage to do that. If you're going to be a woman for a fortnight, you might as well look a proper woman, and it's not going to interfere with the important things in life."

"But we're only on holiday for a week," Dan said. "What do we do then?"

"We don't have to worry about that just yet, so let's go with the Hiplet. How much is it?" she asked the assistant. It cost more than all the money in Tracey and Fiona's handbags!

"Hang on," Helen said, "let me try a card." She pulled a credit card out of her handbag, fed it into the PIN reader and keyed in the PIN.

"That's fine," the girl said, handing Helen her the receipt. "Now, she said, turning to Dan, "let's get you fitted with a Hiplet."

***

"Why didn't you tell me you had a credit card?" Dan asked as they walked back towards their mooring. "I've been worried stiff about the money."

"I didn't realise it was being worried about money that made you stiff," Helen quipped. "Perhaps I should worry you some more, as I do feel decidedly like a little more fun when we get back to the boat. You do look absolutely delightful in your Hiplet and I'm really converting to being a lesbian."

"You randy cow," Dan said, a delighted smile on his face.

Fortunately, it completely took his mind off the sudden appearance of a credit card, and even more fortunately, he hadn't noticed the PIN Helen had entered for the card was 2705.

***

"I hadn't realised that Dorton was such a thriving hub," Helen said, as they chugged up river in the late afternoon, and she stared at the boats moored both in the river and in the canal basin.

"It's the point where the Dorminster canal joins the River Combe," Dan said. "In the eighteenth century, three-masted sailing ships would have come up from the sea, and offloaded their cargo onto the canal narrow-boats on the other side of the quay. The cargo would then be transported all the way up to Dorminster, and they'd bring back with them the building stone from the quarry, that gave Dorminster its fame."

"Not many cargo boats now," Helen said.

"Nor three-masted sailing ships," Dan added. "The railways, and eventually the roads, put an end to that trade. It's all pleasure boats now. Fortunately, in the early nineteenth century, they had the foresight to extend the Dorminster canal so that it looped back to join the River Combe much further upstream. It means that, nowadays, pleasure boats can take the route around three sides of the triangle, which, with lots of stops for drinks at the plentiful waterside pubs, takes just one week to complete."

"I didn't know about all the pubs," Helen said. "I thought we came because the Crawfords suggested it."

"The video recommended going through the lock into the canal basin to moor," Dan said, making the point that he had watched it.

"So did the Crawfords," Helen muttered.

Thanks to a combination of the Crawfords briefings and the safety video, their passage through their first lock would have been uneventful, were it not for the gongoozlers. For those not familiar with the term, this is not some rare breed of wild bird or animal, but those people who take pleasure in watching the activities on canals.

Helen had decided that lifting the sluice gates was a male job, and for this purpose, it didn't matter, that Dan was temporarily a woman. So, Helen did the steering whilst Dan got off with the paddle - an L-shaped handle to wind the sluice gear up and down. Even before people realised the size of Dan's breasts, there was a crowd, but as word spread, so the crowd expanded.

There were several willing helpers to open and shut the lock gates, but when it came to winding the sluices, Dan was on his own. And as he cranked the paddle round and round, so his breasts wobbled alarmingly, almost popping out of the low-cut top Helen had insisted he wore. He could even hear some of the guys taking bets upon whether they would come completely out, whilst others were excitedly declaring they could "see her nipples". If only they knew, Dan thought.

Finally, after he'd finished and was stepping back aboard the boat, he got a round of applause, until some wag said, "You've come the wrong way. You need to go back again," whereupon the crowd burst into laughter.

As they moved the boat forward looking for a spot to moor, dozens of boys waved and jeered at her and helpfully suggested mooring points and, when they eventually chose somewhere, took their mooring lines and secured them.

"I'm so sorry," Helen said, once they were alone. "I dressed you up as a game - almost like dressing a little doll, and I forgot the impression you would make on others in this kind of place."

"I blame you entirely," Dan said, and added, "But on the other hand, it was erotic, knowing everyone of those gongoozlers thought I was a huge breasted woman. It's time to exact my revenge on you."

And he did.

***

"I suppose you're not overkeen on wondering around this place," Helen said some time later, "knowing you'll be followed by all your fans."

Dan indicated that was indeed the case.

"One of us does need to find out whether the girls are still here," Helen continued. "I suspect they'd have stayed last night, and then carried on chasing us up river. I still don't understand why we didn't meet them yesterday afternoon. We may have had our distractions, but they would have been looking out for us."

Dan shrugged. "We need to go to the canal office to pay our overnight fee," he said. "If you went, you could check up on the girls at the same time."

Helen nodded. "I think I'll also pop into town and buy us some food. We can eat in tonight."

"Sounds good."

"You can take a shower and get dressed. I'll sort out something for you to wear. After all, we may be eating on our own but there's no need for us to let standards drop."

"Of course," Dan said, "it has nothing to do with the fact that the more erotically you dress me, the more it turns you on."

She smiled. "Maybe."

***

After Dan came out of his shower, he smiled at the dress lying on the bed. They had laughed about wearing it to the restaurant the previous evening - a long, pink fishnet dress, which came complete with a matching pink G-string. A halterneck plunged almost to the waist, the transparent material of the two inch wide straps revealing everything they attempted to cover. Slits ran up both sides from ankle to hip, whilst at the rear, it was cut low enough to expose a startling buttock cleavage.

Dan grinned as he stepped into it. It looked like he and Helen were in for some fun and games that evening.

***

A quick visit to the canal office established that Tracey and Fiona had moored in the canal basin the previous night and, discovering that Helen and Dan's boat had not been into the canal basin, assumed they had continued up river. So this morning, they had returned to the river, frantically trying to catch them.

Helen went into the town centre and did the shopping.

When she got back, Dan was wearing in the dress she had laid out for him. "You look fantastic," she said.

He grinned back at her. "Thanks," he said. "I feel like a million pounds."

She hesitated a little and said, "Look, I haven't got the food yet, but most of the crowds have gone home. Why don't we go out for a meal instead? Just two girls, having a great time together."

"That's a great idea," he said. "But I think you mean two lesbians having a great time together."

She smirked at him. "You bet."

***

The meal that night was much more enjoyable than the one the previous evening. Everyone looked at them in the restaurant. A couple of guys tried to start a conversation, but the girls cut them off, much preferring their own company.

"Incidentally," Helen said. "I discovered that the girls have headed off up the river as fast as they can, trying to catch us up. I don't suppose we'll be able to catch them now. So if we really want to meet up with them as soon as we can, we could go around the loop in the opposite direction, and we'll meet them halfway round.

"Of course," she added, "the problem is that when we do meet them, your own clothes will no longer fit you with your new shape."

"Oh dear," he said, as though he hadn't realised that already. "In that case, why don't we simply follow behind them, and accept we're not going to meet up until next Saturday?"

Helen smiled. "Sounds good to me. Except that with the amount of time we're going to be spending in the cabin, I suspect we won't get very far at all on this holiday."

"What will you tell the Crawfords?" Dan asked.

"I'll tell them the holiday was a drag," she said.