David buries his wife after she loses her fight against cancer. He is nearly 50, and their children are now grown up, so he breaks the news that he is going to undertake that which he wanted to do for as long as he could remember — a sex change. He had struggled with his transsexuality all his life, but his love for his wife and respect for her meant he just played the hand that he had been dealt, up to now, that is.

Meanwhile, in the USA, grizzled Police Chief John Collingwood comes to near breaking point. Stressed from his job, his grief over his dead wife, and the despair of near alcoholism, he embarks on a trip to the UK with his brother to seek out his family tree.

Two very different people find a very different future, they also find each other...

but will it work?

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Tanya has a new website where she will display her latest works first and then to BigCloset TopShelf a few weeks later is here at Tanya Allan's Tales .
Tanya's Book Shop where she is selling her works in book form is at http://tanyaallan.authorshaunt.com/shop.php . Please Visit!

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The Legal Stuff: A Girl Can But Dream  © 2006,2009,2010 Tanya Allan
 
This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically. Any adaptation of the whole or part of the material for broadcast by radio, TV, or for stage plays or film, is the right of the author unless negotiated through legal contract. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose. Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author.
 
This work is fictitious, and any similarities to any persons, alive or dead, are purely coincidental. Mention is made of persons in public life only for the purposes of realism, and for that reason alone. Certain licence is taken in respect of medical procedures, terms and conditions, and the author does not claim to be the fount of all knowledge.
 
The author accepts the right of the individual to hold his/her (or whatever) own political, religious and social views, and there is no intention to deliberately offend anyone. If you wish to take offence, that is your problem.
 
This is only a story, and it contains adult material, which includes sex and intimate descriptive details pertaining to genitalia. If this is likely to offend, then don’t read it.
 
Please enjoy.
Tanya
 
 

 
 
 
Chapter 9
 
 
Dee
 
I could see that John exacted enormous pleasure from winding his sister up. So I went and gave him a hug so he’d behave himself a little at least.

He put the phone down.

“Well, Ed’s told my mother and sister. I suppose I’d better tell the girls.”

I just held him, enjoying feeling him close to me.

He wrapped his arms around me, so I got a warm fuzzy feeling.

“Honey, we should go eat. Maria will have done supper for us.”

“Mmm,” I said, reluctant to move.

But move we did, and we went to the open area to the rear of the house. A long table was on the deck next to the pool. Flowers and vines were growing in borders all along the side of the house and were climbing up the walls and across the wooden arched structures designed for such a purpose.

A large Hispanic lady with a huge smile was placing some dishes on the table.

She stopped and looked at John and then at me.

“Seá±or John. It is such happy news,” she said, coming over and giving him a hug.

She then turned to me. “Seá±ora, it is so good to see him smile again. We never thought he would,” she said embracing me as well.

“Dee lost her spouse to cancer too,” John said.

“Oh, Seá±ora, I am so sorry.”

I smiled. What could one say?

“We are both in the same boat, so it helps being able to understand,” I said.

John opened a bottle of Californian wine, so we sat down to a real authentic Mexican dinner. It was superb.
 
 
My cooking was always either traditional English or European, particularly the French Cordon Bleu style. So as soon as we had finished I was in the kitchen asking Maria all about her cooking and she seemed quite surprised at my interest.

John grinned.

“Maria, Dee is a professional cook by training. She ran her own company.”

She looked worried then, so I could see her feeling that her job was under threat.

I put my hand on her arm.

“Maria, I was a professional cook. Now I am a writer and artist. Your cooking is wonderful, so I have no intention to take over and push you out. In fact, I think we’ll make a really good team,” I said.

She smiled at me, but I could see she wasn’t convinced.

Well, time would tell.

It was strange having someone to cook and clear up. So much so that I remarked on it to John as we sat on the deck watching the wonderful sunset.

“Well, they have meant everything to me over the last few months. They kept me going.”

“I appreciate that, and I am delighted that they are here. I am just not used to it. But I feel that I can get used to it very easily,” I said with a grin.

I was snuggled up against him on the swing seat. I must have nodded off, for he gently woke me with a kiss, before lifting me up in his arms and carrying me to bed.

We undressed and were in bed quite quickly.
 
 
I sensed an awkwardness in him, so drew him to me.

“Now John, if you feel that this is too hard, I’ll sleep in a spare room,” I said.

He pulled me close.

“No! It’s strange, but I need to deal with it. Like you, I never want to be alone again.”

We snuggled together and I fell asleep very quickly.
 
 
I awoke feeling disorientated.

It took me a moment to remember where I was, as it was quite dark, and unfamiliar. But I remembered, reaching out and touching the sleeping man next to me.

Every house had its own unique sound, so this one was new to me.

I looked at the clock. - 05:00.

My body clock was several hours ahead, so I was wide-awake.

I got up and went for a pee, fumbling for the light switch, but failing, so I peed in the dark.

I went back to bed and snuggled close to John, wrapping one arm around him.

He stirred in his sleep and reached out and put his arm round me. I smiled, as I just loved him so much. I breathed in his smell, as it was almost intoxicating. Despite myself, I felt myself becoming aroused by his mere proximity and maleness.

I tentatively reached down and found his manhood. To my surprise it was erect, so I curled my fingers around it gently.

He stirred again, flexing his pelvis slightly.
 
 
I lay there, holding him and feeling my body respond to the sexual stimulae.

I didn’t have to move, but felt myself becoming moist and ready, purely through mental images of him.

I looked at him in the gloom. I felt very humble and privileged that he loved me so unconditionally despite all my history.

I moved my hand, gently rubbing his penis.

Laying on my side, I looked at his face, then supporting my head on my hand, resting my elbow on my pillow, so I got a better look at him.

My hand was moving a little faster now and his eyes opened.
He focussed on me, as a slow smile spread across his face.

“What ya doin’?”

“There’s a snake in the bed, so I’m trying to strangle it.”

“You may have to suffocate it between your legs,” he suggested.

He rolled onto his back, so I mounted him, allowing him to impale me completely.

To feel him so deep inside me was the most fulfilling sensation in the world. I had often tried to imagine what it would be like, and never in all my dreams had I come close.

As I gently raised and lowered myself on him, feeling his hands on my bottom and his face at my breast, I knew that everything had been worth it. If I were to die now, I should die completely happy.
 
 
We made love very slowly, gathering pace gradually. My eyes were accustomed to the gloom, so I was able to watch his expression.

I smiled, so he pulled my head down so he could kiss me. It was a very passionate kiss but his stubble was very scratchy against my face. But somehow this added to the almost animalistic feelings I had.

I could smell his musty maleness, and it was so erotic! I built up some speed, and soon felt the now familiar approach an orgasm. The doctors had told me that it was not possible to state whether or not I would ever achieve a true female orgasm.

Well, whatever I achieved would do!

It was ten times the feelings I recalled experiencing as a male, and when more than one occurred, I was more than happy to settle for what I had.
 
 
Finally, he arched his back, thrusting himself as deeply into me as he could manage and, as before, the thought of his semen spurting deep inside me, brought me a further amazing feeling. I felt weak and completely sated, as I simply cuddled him, still lying on top of him, and allowing him to shrink inside my vagina. I wished I was fertile so I could conceive his child.

He kissed me, gently rolling me off him, getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. I lay there with a silly smile on my face. I put one hand down to my very wet vagina and felt the wetness, bringing it up to my face so I could breath in the scent of our union.

John returned, sliding into bed beside me.

“What brought that on?”

“I just wanted you!”

“I’m pleased. Better now?”

I smiled and nodded.

He pulled me close and we lay there for a while. I still wasn’t sleepy.

I placed the palm of my hand on his flat muscular stomach, letting my fingers play with the hair leading down to his penis.
 
 
I suddenly got an overpowering urge to taste him, so I snuggled my head on his tummy and took his soft penis into my mouth.

He didn’t object, and I could taste our combined juices on it as I licked the head with my tongue.

“Dee, you don’t have to,” he said.

“I do!” I said, with my mouth full,

He started to respond, so soon it was erect once more. It was really quite big, not as large as number five dilator, but bigger than number four!

I caressed and kissed his balls, and licked up and down his shaft. He moaned and writhed in almost blissful agony, as I took the head into my mouth and let my tongue dance around like a dervish.

He started to thrust down my throat, so I held the shaft to prevent being gagged. Then he muttered about coming, and my mouth was suddenly full of hot sticky semen.

It surprised me in a way. I expected the sticky, but not the hot!

It tasted quite neutral, a little salty and bitter, so I swallowed it, licking him clean. I was so aroused now, as his hand was rubbing me to climax.
 
 
Eventually I settled down, and he held me again.

“What has got into you?” he asked.

“Why, are you complaining?”

“No way. But if you keep this up, I’ll be dead in a month!”

I chuckled. “I just adore pleasing you,” I said.

“Is that it?”

“No, I love you inside me as well!”

We dozed for a while. I was so content it was unbelievable. For all the years of anguish and torment, this was what I had been born for.

I actually went to sleep again, because he woke me by rubbing my vagina.

I stared at him, and he grinned.

“My turn,” he said, rolling me onto my tummy and entering me from behind, with my bum in the air.

He went for it very hard, and it was amazing.

I came to climax very quickly, and screamed as several came at once. He just kept going, as he had been spent twice already, he had more reserves this time.
By the time he came in me, I was a spent force. I was almost shaking and my limbs felt like jelly.

I felt well and truly fucked.
 
 
We dragged ourselves to the shower and cleaned up.

I shaved him, finding it really strange shaving someone else.

“I love you Dee,” he said, as I cleaned off the gel.

“Me too,” I said, kissing his nice smooth face.

“Do you fancy a ride?” he asked.

“I though we’d already done that?”

He laughed, shaking his head.

“On a horse.”

“I’d love to,” I said, and went to dress in my jodhpurs.

“Have you any jeans, Honey?” he asked, on seeing how I was dressed.

“Why?”

“Well, the saddles out here are different, and most people wear jeans!”

“I’m happy in these. Besides, you like the look of them.”

“I sure do,” he said, grabbing my bum.

It was instant. As soon as he touched me, I wanted him again.

“Don’t!” I said.

“What?” he asked, surprised.

“Every time you touch me, I want you,” I explained.

He smiled. “This is gonna make life kinda interesting.”

I touched his trousers, so could feel his erection.

“You too?”

He grinned and nodded.

“It’s them pants!” he said.

“No, it’s you. I love you so much, I want you inside me all the time.”

“Now that really would make life interesting.”
 
 
We went to breakfast and sat on the deck in the morning sun.

“Coffee?” he asked.

“No thanks, just some orange juice, please.”

He handed me a glass.

I looked at the rugged beauty of the surrounding countryside.

“It is really spectacular here. I can see why you love it.”

“Yeah, it sort of changes moods. I mean England is very different, but the contrast is quite remarkable,” he said.
 
 
We ate fruit and cereal. I felt quite at peace with the world.I became aware that he was watching me.

“What?” I asked, getting self-conscious.

“I’m sorry. I keep looking to see if I can see any of your past.”

“Do you?”

He shook his head.

“Nope. I just see a beautiful woman whom I love.”

I smiled, what could anyone say to words like that?

“I also think you look right at home here.”

I smiled again. “You mean I have a choice?”

He looked me in the eye.

“Oh yes, I’ll never ever make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

The phone rang, so he went indoors to answer it.

I looked at the remarkable colours, and wondered how hard they’d be to paint. I thought it would be fun finding out.
 
 
I finished my breakfast and went in to see he was in deep conversation.

“It’s Annie,” he said, covering up the phone for a second. Annie was his younger daughter, the one with a boyfriend. I could only hear one side of his conversation.

“I was going to call you, honey, it was we just got in late and were tired after the long flight,” he said.

“No, I’m not embarrassed of you or her. Look, why don’t you and Jenny come over for dinner, so you can all meet?”

“Well, tomorrow then?”

“Okay, what time?”

“Fine, we’ll see you at seven tomorrow.”

“What?”

“No, we met on the first day in England!”

“Why?”

“She is a couple of years younger than me, and she has her own kids.”

“No they are all grown up.”

“Three. Two boys and a girl.”

“No, only her daughter, Sarah. The boys aren’t married.”

“One is a student and the other is an officer in the Marines.”

“No, honey, that’s the Royal Marines, not our Marines.”

“Sarah is older, she’s twenty five and has a daughter called Amy.”

“Yes, I’m marrying a grandma,” he said, and laughed.

“Look, we are about to go for a ride, say hi to Jenny for me, okay?”

“Okay sweetie, bye then,”

“Phew, talk about the Spanish Inquisition,” he said, and I immediately thought of Monty Python.

I almost expected Michael Palin dressed as a cardinal to come bursting in the door saying, “Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

“So, I am on display tomorrow?” I asked.

He smiled. “They’ll be fine. I could hear Jenny asking about the Marine in the background.”

The thought made me smile. I imagined a wedding between one of my kids and one of his.

He was obviously thinking the same thing and we laughed together, although slightly uneasily.
 
 
We spent the morning riding, when I saw some wonderful wind sculptured rock formations and knew that I’d have to try to paint these. The colours, with the reds browns and yellows were fantastic, and depending on the light, seemed to change the shape of the rocks.

It was a lot warmer than in England, so I felt my skin burning in the dry heat. I was wearing a light short sleeve shirt, and wished I had brought a hat like John’s Stetson.

“I must get a hat,” I said.

“And some boots!” he said looking at my trainers. I thought about bringing my riding boots, but there wasn’t enough room.

“Okay, so we’d better go shopping,” I said.

“I need to go into town in any case, so we could grab some lunch and do a bit of shopping as well.”

“Okay,” I said, and we slowly made our way back to the ranch.

Jose was waiting for us, so we wiped down the horses and let them out into the pasture.
 
 
We went back into the house and I started the shower. The phone rang again, so I was a shower by myself. Which was just as well, as I didn’t want to kill the poor old man off.

“That was my mother,” he said, as he came into the bedroom as I was dressing again.

“Oh yes?”

“Can we go down and stay with her next weekend?”

“I’m in your hands. I’d like to meet her.”

“Okay, then we will. Are you sure you are okay with this?”

“Positive,” I said, not really knowing whether that was wholly true.
 
 
Chapter 10
 
 
John
 
We drove into town at about eleven, and Dee was looking as fresh as a daisy.

She was wearing a pale yellow shirt and a pair of blue jeans, which looked as if they were sprayed on. She had a tremdous figure; one for which someone fifteen years younger would have sold her soul. I mean, I know that she told me she’d once been male, but looking at her shape, I had the most enormous difficulty accepting it as true. She sat close to me, saying little. I know she said that she was happy to meet all my folks, but I knew it must be hard for her and that she was worried.

I was feeling a little tired, but very content. Sexually, she was almost insatiable, so I found it a challenge to satisfy her. Once again, I found it almost impossible to believe that she could ever have been male, so filed that fact deep in the darkest corner of my mind.

Sally and I had had an active and good sex life, but I wasn’t prepared for Dee’s appetite. Whereas Sally was loving and giving, our lovemaking had been quite gentle and fun. Dee was something else!

With Dee, it was adventurous and exciting. It was almost as if she was on a voyage of discovery, so was pushing the bounds out every time. She gave of herself completely, taking anything with such enthusiasm that I found her very physical presence sexually arousing.

Even now, sitting in the pickup driving into town, she was casually caressing my arm in such a way that I very sensual and erotic. It was all I could do not to stop the truck and take her here and now.

The real problem was that she would love it, so may come to expect it all the time.
 
 
I smiled, as I felt her hand drop to my pants.

“No Dee. Not when I’m driving.”

“So, why have you got a woody?” she asked, with a cheeky grin.

I smiled. “You have this effect on me,” I said. And it was true, as it was like being sixteen all over again. Every day started off with the same sort of anticipation and excitement.

Smiling at me, she removed her hand, and I relaxed.

I parked outside the office and we went in together. Sam, the dispatcher, stared at Dee for a moment and then at me, as I was behind her.

“Chief, and the future Mrs Chief. Great to see you back,” she said, grinning.

Within moments, the small office was filled with people, while Pete watched with a knowing smile on his face. I introduced Dee to everyone, so she smiled and was typically Dee. Gradually, they all went back to work, so she looked at me and smiled.
 
 
We went into my office and she sat in my chair as I opened some of my personal mail. Pete had looked after most of it, so there were just a few bits for me to look at.

Pete came and knocked on the open door.

“Come in, Pete.”

“So, how long you staying on?” he said.

I smiled, as Dee was watching me.

“Long enough to get a replacement. Do you want the job?”

He shook his head. “No thanks. Ellen and I talked it over last night. When you go, I go.”

“The new guy will need breaking in.”

Pete smiled. “I’ll stay on for a few weeks, but our time is up, big buddy.”

I looked at Dee.

“Yup, it sure is.”

She smiled and looked away.

I looked out the window, remembering the despair in my heart a few short weeks ago when I looked at the same view. Suddenly, the world was a nicer place again, as I had hope in my heart and love in my soul.
 
 
I took Dee across to Gates’ Boots and Tack store. Steve Gates seemed pleased to see us, and even gave Dee a discount on her new cowboy boots and hat. She looked a million dollars when we walked out of there, she was wearing the boots and hat, and I swear she was looking younger every time I looked at her. She glowed with contentment.

We had lunch at Maggie’s, where a lot more people came up to us for an introduction to my new woman.

She was charm personified, and sounded ever so English. I was real proud of her, so I told her so.

“Then it's all worth it,” she said, giving me a kiss.
 
 
We were just finishing, when Jacob Glennister, the town mayor, came in. He saw me, smiled and came over, taking his hat off to Dee.

“John, I heard you were back and that you had a charming companion,” he said.

“Jake, meet the future Mrs Collingwood. Dee, this is Jacob Glennister, the town mayor, and I suppose my employer. Jake, this is Deborah Cartwright, from England, who has agreed to be my bride.”

Jake took Dees hand and kissed her fingers.

“Ma’am. It's a real pleasure. I'm sure I'm not alone in thanking you for bringing the old John back to us. It's good to see the old man smiling again.”

Dee smiled.

“Well, we've both suffered similar losses, so he brought my smile back too,” she said.

“And may I say what a pretty one it is,” Jake gushed, the old charmer.

Dee laughed, so Jake sat down next to me.

“Now, what’s this I hear about you wanting to quit?” he said.

It was my turn to laugh, as I knew the news would reach him.

“Jake, I’ve been a cop for over thirty years. I’ve buried one wife, and my kids are in a different city. It's time for me to collect my pension, to enjoy whatever time I have left with my new bride, and to grow old in peace.”

“You’ll be a hard act to follow.”

“Not really. There are a lot of good cops out there, so you’ll get someone who will be just fine.”

“When were you planning on telling me?”

“My first day back at work is Monday. I'll put it in writing then, okay?”
 
 
Jake was deep in thought. I could almost hear the cogs going round.

“No, Jake, Pete doesn’t want the job. Hell, we joined together.”

“Have you anyone in mind?”

“There is a lieutenant in Phoenix who expressed an interest. He’s around forty and has a good record.

“Who’s that?”

“Lewis Grant. He was a detective on homicide last I heard.”

“Hmm, would he want to come to a small town like this?”

“Who knows? I did, and my career was quite similar to his.”

“Okay. Have you any objections if I put out some feelers?”

“None at all. I’ll do the same, and I won’t go until the post is filled.”

He got a crafty look in his eye.

“But if you haven’t filled it by the New Year, I’m getting married and going.”

“That only gives me three months.”

“Yup, that’s what I made it.”

He stood up and bowed slightly to Dee.

“It’s been a pleasure, ma’am. It’s just a shame that John feels the need to desert us in our hour of need.”

“Jake, you can be a real asshole at times,” I said, laughing.

He looked at me and shrugged.

“John, you’ve done this town proud. It sure will be sad day when you stand down.”

“Yeah, well, Dee promised to marry me, and I promised to retire, so I have to get my priorities right.”

Jake smiled and put his hat back on.

“Take care, you two,” he said, and left us alone.
 
 
Lunch was fine, but I could tell Dee had something on her mind.

“Penny for them?” I said.

“I was wondering about your mother and the rest of the family.”

“You mean whether to tell them the truth?”

She smiled. “Yes. You know me, I don’t want to live a lie,” she said.

“Dee, look in a mirror. The world sees what I see, a beautiful woman. There’s no lie in letting the world make its own mind up. My family will love you for what you are, as I do. I don’t feel you should beat yourself up over the past. There’s no deception, no lie in being true to who you are now.”

“But, I don’t want to keep secrets from people.”

“Dee, everyone has some secrets, that’s life. I love you and I want what’s best for you. I believe that there will come a time when you could tell anyone who you want, but leave it a while, please.”

She smiled and looked out the window.

“I don’t want to bring any hurt to you, you know that?” she said.

“I know, honey.”

She looked at me again. I could sense this was giving her problems.

“Okay, I’ll hold it for a while. I’m not happy in keeping things in the dark forever, though.”

“Whatever you decide, I’ll respect.”

“I want your girls to know before we marry,” she said.

“Okay.”

“And if they disapprove, then I call it off.”

“They won’t!”

“John, this is important to me!”

“I know my girls, once they get to know you, they’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” she said, taking my hand again.

I went back to the department to make a couple of phone calls. Then we drove home after Pete had asked us to go to dinner with him and Ellen that evening.

I wanted to show her around the ranch, so we went for another short ride, taking in some of the better views. She looked so much more at home with the boots and hat. She was a very accomplished horsewoman, and I kept hearing Sally chuckle at how well we seemed to be matched.
 
 
Dinner with Pete and Ellen was relaxed and good fun. Their kids were away at college or working as well, so it was just the four of us. Pete cooked the steaks on the barbeque as we sat drinking cold beers and chatting.

Ellen was really curious about Dee, but as soon as we arrived, they seemed to get on well. Dee went and helped Ellen prepare some salad, even showing her how to make a new style dressing. Dee was quite nervous, which I knew, but was thankful she didn’t show it.

She seemed to relax quite quickly, particularly when talking about her children and little Amy.

“You have a grand daughter? You don’t look old enough,” Ellen said, which made Dee laugh with genuine pleasure.

“Sarah is the exact clone of Dee. They look more like sisters than parent and child,” I said.

Dee looked at me, thanking me with her eyes for the way I had phrased that statement.

“So, John, did you meet all Dee’s Family?” Pete asked.

“No, just Sarah and little Amy.”

“So that’ll make you a step-grandpappy!” said Ellen, with some glee.

“Yeah, I guess it will.”

“How about having any more kids?” Ellen asked Dee.

Dee went bright red but stared right at me.

“I’d love to have John’s children, more than anything else in the world, but I’m afraid, I don’t have the equipment any more. Even if I could, I think I’m too old to start again,” she said.

“Yeah, holding little Amy was fine, but I don’t think I could go through all them sleepless nights again!” I said.

Ellen and Dee talked about babies and even breast-feeding. I was amazed at the way Dee answered, it was as if she had always been a woman and was as natural a mother figure as I could imagine.
 
 
Pete and I walked across the yard to look at his latest project. He was restoring an elderly Ford Mustang convertible.

“She’s some woman, John, I’m so pleased. Sally would approve,” he said.

“You reckon?”

“I sure do. She’s a real lady, she’s changed you, buddy.”

“How so?”

“You’ve come back to us, Big Jay. You’re human again.”

I smiled. “Yeah, she’s very special.”

“But you were so goddamn fast. What happened?”

I looked up at the stars in the clear inky sky.

“I’m not sure. As soon as I saw her, something happened. From the first few words we exchanged, I just knew that we had something that was starting to draw us together. We’ve both been hurt, so we can understand without having to speak. For all her outward strength, she’s very fragile and feels vulnerable. I’d hate for her to get hurt.”

“Well, the way she looks at you, I’d say you are both crazy in love.”

I looked back to where Dee was talking to Ellen. She said something that made Ellen laugh. Dee glanced at me, met my eyes and smiled. My heart sang.

“Yeah. I think you’re right.”

We got home long after midnight and went straight to bed. I felt tired but strangely content. We simply cuddled and fell asleep in each other’s arms.
 
 

*          *          *
 
End of Part 5
 
 
To Be Continued...