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Snow White
and The Seven Studs |
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The Legal Stuff: Snow White and The Seven Studs © 2009 Janet Baker
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Snow White called a meeting one evening of herself and her seven modest sized cohabiters.
“Men! We have a problem. The local religious authorities complain that it is indecent for me, a beautiful woman they believe a virgin, to live with seven men. They want me to do something about it but have not specified what.”
“Oh my God”, said Grouch, “What the fuck next?”
Grumbles were heard from the other six height challenged men.
“Guys, don’t worry… yet. We must play the game with the Cardinal. We must outthink and out maneuver him… somehow… because I don’t want to lose you guys and I’m sure you don’t want me to disappear into the Cardinal’s torture chamber. Remember what he did to Esmerelda the Gypsy before the hunchbacked fella rescued her. I told you that Richelieu gets his rocks off watching his minions abuse women.”
“Yeah Snow”, added Sniffles, “How’er we… what’re we supposed to do?”
“We’ll think.. Scheme… and plot and somehow we’ll figure it out. It’s a matter of life, death and good fucking. You guys don’t want to lose your cook and cunt and I don’t want to lose my seven oversized cocks. You guys may be height challenged but you’re over endowed cockwise and I’m the happiest ha -- virgin -- ha in Paris and you guys in spite of your undesirability with the tall girls are just what I want. I love you all and especially I love fucking you. So… let’s see what we can do to fuck the Cardinal -- not literally.”
A few days later the Cardinal paid a visit to Snow White. The dwarfs -- studs -- were working in the mine digging for silver.
“Good day your Eminence”, Snow said as she curtseyed deeply. “Would you please enter my abode for some tea, your Eminence? I’m dreadfully sorry, your Eminence but I don’t have room for all of your soldiers but I can serve them tea outdoors… if that’s alright, your Eminence.”
His Eminence nodded affirmatively and entered the modest abode with Snow White. He seated himself, gazing appreciatively at the comely maiden while she prepared and served the tea… wondering how she would serve him in his bed or better yet in his torture chamber.
“Eminence, how may I serve you?”
“Snow White! It has come to our attention that you cohabit with seven small mine workers. We do not sanction this type of cohabitation. You should be married. An unmarried woman -- a virgin -- such as yourself causes much gossip in the community and you set a poor example for other young women. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Snow White inhaled, picked up her tea cup and sipped whilst gathering her thoughts for a response.
“Majesty… forgive me Eminence.” She curtseyed deeply then reseated herself. “Your Eminence, it is a long story. These small men are outcasts. Most women want nothing to do with them because of their height but I, in cooking for them and looking after them have found them to be delightful and personable men. I could leave them to suffer by themselves but that would be cruel and un Christian. But Eminence, I understand your concerns and I will find a way… somehow… to address them.”
“Snow White”, he said sonorously, “You will quickly find a way to resolve the problem or the Church… will find a way for you.”
“Oh thank you Eminence. What solutions might the Church find… and what solutions for the little men?”
“I’m not sure. I will give the problem some thought. Perhaps the little men could garden for the church and do repair work and perhaps empty the latrines.”
“And me your Eminence?”
He smiled… slightly… at Snow White and said in a low comforting voice,“Snow White, I’m sure that the Church can find something useful for you. Yessss, I’m sure that we can help you.”
“Oh thank you Eminence. I’ll talk with the little men tonight and we’ll see what we can do that will please yourself, Eminence and the community.”
“Yesss… good day Snow White and may God be with you.”
That evening Snow and the men held conference.
“Guys, his fucking Eminence paid us -- me -- a visit today and wants us to do something about our living situation. He does not want us to live together. Says it’s unseemly. He has some solutions… he wants you to clean latrines and judging from the look on his face he wants me for his personal pleasure. No doubt, guys, we must keep free from the pervert.”
“We’s in deep doo doo Snow. What the fuck we gonna do?”
“Healer. You guys go to work as usual and I’m gonna find Cinderella and ask her to introduce me to her fairy godmother. Maybe she’ll help us. If she won’t, we may have to flee the country.”
“Any ideas, Snow?”
“A couple, Reticent, but it depends on the Fairy Godmother.”
The next day Snow White set out to find Cinderella who by now was married to the Prince and had three children.
“Good morning your Highness, I’m Snow White and I need help -- badly.”
“What’s the problem Snow, and how can I help?”
“The basic problem is intolerance and the Cardinal. The community (the Cardinal) feels that I should not be living with the seven dwarfs and he wants me to do something… to satisfy the community. He hasn’t said what we should do but I suspect… strongly that if we don’t do something good and quick that he’ll have my guys cleaning latrines and I’ll be his personal conquest. If you weren’t aware of it, he is a pervert.”
“Oh yes Snow, I’m quite aware of his proclivities but even though I’m married to the Prince we don’t have the power to control him. His power and the power of the Church -- that is the hold over people are too strong for us to resist. On a personal level though, what do you need of me?”
“Cin darling, one thing only. Introduce me to your fairy godmother. If I’m lucky she may help us.”
Cinderella conjured up her fairy godmother.
“Hello Cinderella! How are you darling? It’s been too long since you’ve needed me. Now that you’re getting fucked regularly you don’t call on me.”
“Godmother, you’ve done so much for me and I’m so happy. Prince has a never tiring cock and I’m happy beyond measure.”
“Good. That never tiring business is what I gave Prince when he asked you to marry him. I’m glad it worked. What can I do for you?”
“Godmother, you can help Snow White and her seven height challenged men with whom she cohabits to the disgust of the community and religious authorities.”
“H’m, more intolerance. And as usual from the Church. Explain the problem Snow.”
Snow White described their situation. Godmother wrinkled her brow thoughtfully as she mulled over the situation. After some time she pulled herself up and said, “I have a solution Snow, now… listen carefully…”
Snow White gasped, then pursed her lips, then smiled wickedly, then clapped her hands with joy, laughing uproariously. She said, “I love it! I love it! I love it! I only hope the guys love it.”
“Godmother, that is so wonderful! Will you come with me to our home and tell the fellows?”
“No Snow, I don’t travel, I just appear. I will appear tonight at dinner.”
Snow White thanked the Fairy Godmother and returned home to prepare dinner for the gang.
After a hard days work in the mines, the fellows returned home, washed for dinner and when called to the table seated themselves, said grace and dug in. After serving dessert, Snow served wine and asked for quiet while she described the days’ events.
“Snow”, asked Cheerful, “What ideas did Fairy Godmother offer?”
“She has a plan, she’ll explain when she arrives.”
“When will she come?”
“On her own good time, I expect.”
Fairy Godmother was good to her word and appeared suddenly in their modest little home.
“Good evening everyone. I am so pleased that you invited me in. It isn’t often that I’m asked to help. Now. Snow has explained the problem thoroughly and I have a plan that should satisfy the community perverts and of course the chief pervert, Cardinal Richelieu. Fellows, don’t interrupt until I have laid out the plan.”
“Oh please do”, they chorused.
“The Cardinal objects to men living with a single woman… so…. We’ll make you all into women… more or less. That means that you will look like women but retain the feature so prized by you and Snow White. In fact I may make your cocks a little larger… if you can stand it, Snow.”
Snow gasped, smiled and reached for her clit and rubbed it in anticipation.
“Oh yes, oh yes, I can stand it -- definitely!”
“Now men, I’m going to make you all just a little taller and more shapely so you’ll look like women. That means you’ll have narrower waists, breasts, longer, more slender legs and very pretty long hair. However you will retain your superb cocks and as I said I’ll enhance them somewhat… in very special ways. Grouch, henceforth I don’t want to hear you complain. You are going to have an enhanced cock that will twist slightly at the tip when it is buried deeply in Snow’s cunt. You Reticent, will have a cock that will vibrate a little. Snow, you may give me a report on my enhancement successes. I’ll also provide some initial clothing for you men. The downside of this is the likelihood that mine work will no longer suit you. You may have to learn new skills such as cooking, butchering, tailoring. You must be careful though, you will look like women but those enormous cocks will betray you. You must invent ways to conceal your important parts.”
“Oh! We will!”, they chorused. “When will it happen?”
“Overnight. You will awake as new men, looking like women but still great and formidable cocksmen. Snow will continue to love and fuck you. There will be a slight difference though. When you’re on top of her your mouths will be it breast height so you can suckle Snow’s nipples whilst fucking her. How you handle the community is up to you. Good bye now and good luck and good fucking.”
“Snow. What the fuck will you tell Richelieu? That he now has eight broads to fuck? We don’t want to fall in to his clutches… the pervert.”
“Oh yeahhh… guys… what do we do….?? Ah ha! Eureka! The solution! I’ll tell him you all left to join the Huguenots and that I’ve replaced you with young maidens who have agreed to work to support our meager life style.”
“Do you think it’ll work?”
“God I hope so or we’ll all be up shit creek. I’ll be fucked by himself and you all will be executed as heretics. It’s got to work! Pray guys! In the meantime I want my evening fucking. Line up guys. Get to work!”
“Just a damn minute!” said Healer, “No way will it work! It’s just offering the chief pervert seven more broads who aren’t really what they appear to be.”
“Well?”
“A hole in the ground with water in it.”
“Come off it Healer, what’s your idea?”
“A nunnery! As the Sisters of something or other we should be safe from the perverts predations. We can beg for alms, start a convent. You know, the kind where the nuns just pray for the souls of the departed. That way we’ll all be safe and you Snow will be the Mother Superior. We’ll be so fucking respectable no one will ever hassle us again.”
“Oh Healer, I like it! I like it! I like it! Just think! Me! No longer the suspect virgin but the respected Mother Superior. Healer! You’re a fucking genius. OK guys, we’ll work on this in the morning -- in the meantime…. “
“Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to fuck we go, hi ho hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho!”
“Oh you fuckers are so cute. Cheerful. You first.”
End
© 2009 Janet Baker
Comments
Silly
This story is the fun kind of naughty.
So dirty it's clean
if that makes any sense, in that once it started I couldn't imagine this randy bunch talking any other way. It's who they are. A happy, horny polyandry, with a unique solution to the wicked Cardinal's scheming.
I wrote a decadent fairy tale once, and as a somewhat darker corallary to this rolicking, ribald romp, I offer:
.
A Fucked Up Fairy Tale
by Laika Pupkino
...and they lived happily ever after.
.
But happiness can be a highly subjective thing. Some folks can't be happy unless they're miserable and complaining all the time, dragging everyone around them down. Others find happiness in the most unspeakable practices. Cinderella was a little of each...
There is a saying, "As the twig is bent, so grows the tree." And you can probably imagine how life under the two cruel step-sisters might have affected the young woman. She was never the most stable of individuals, and now suddenly she found herself Queen Of All The Land. Dolled up, poised, her regal smile, the acres of white teeth, being constantly deferred to in humble tones ......... while her inner foliage was as stunted and twisted around itself like some geeked-out little banzai tree.
The old king had conveniently passed on, just a month or so after the wedding, and one of the first things Cinderella did as Empress was to have her two adopted sisters guillotined in the public square. Leaving them in the dungeon a few weeks to let the fear of death sink in; and to stage her daily dramatic visits wherein she would read them long inventories of their sins.
It was a fantasy she'd been playing for herself since adolescence, rewriting and perfecting it in her mind during those long nights on her bed of cinders. But in coming true the thing went wrong---and felt wrong---from the start. The one sister refused to show fear, and maintained her superiority even when chained and ridden with lice. And the other, the slow one, wailed and begged shamelessly. Hadn't she always shown the girl kindness when the other sister wasn't watching?!
She hadn't, not often, but still it was the new queen's first murder and the abject display of wretchedness haunted her, ruining what she had imagined would be the ultimate thrill of despotism- the godlike power over life and death.
Still, the slim sable-bound volume that had been left to them was adamant in its contention that a monarch must never appear indecisive. And the Prince---now King Charming---was all for it; saying that he didn't need those two wiley old shrews hanging around the castle, that they'd be out to make trouble, or might hook up with dissident elements. And he maintained that the public needed a little crimson spectacle now and again---a bit of cathartic bloodletting---to take their mind off their own troubles.
The prince had showed the sort of stuff he was made of---in the decision making department---when he decided to get married on the basis of a few dances together and a peek at some cleavage, and of a delicate pink foot smooshed into a tiny glass shoe.
This kind of sums up his sexual interests; highly specialized, object oriented and not much fun for his new bride, who liked much rawer stuff. He loved donning his fancy white cavalry uniform, waltzing with her amid the mirrors and blazing chandeliers of the ballroom, and then re-enacting that famous second meeting- the shoe on, the shoe off, the shoe back on, the shoe halfway off---in a lame parody of that act for which (with the exception of his dutiful and uninspired, astrologically-timed attempts to knock her up) she had to go elsewhere.
Nor was there any real communication. He never seemed to see or hear her as she was, her inner complexities, but only some stereotyped ideal of "Cinderella" that he carried in his head. This wasn't suprprising, given the extremes of narcissism implicit in going around introducing yourself as Prince Charming. Big on surfaces, there really wasn't any room for two in his erotic pantheon.
But although Cinderella thought of him as the Royal Freak, she was not without a few kinks in the wiring herself. After years of being told that she was lower than tapeworm shit, of total derision being the only kind of attention she had ever gotten, the fact was that under certain circumstances she rather liked it. The elegant floor-length robes she wore were convenient for concealing the various bruises, welts and brandings that she was beginning to accumulate over the course of those meetings with her hard-core lovers.
As obsessed as he was with having an heir, King Charming was heartbroken when the Royal Physician informed them that the high uranium content of the granite stone of the fireplace she'd slept in from nineteen years had rendered his bride quite sterile.
This was a turning point in their relationship. Unbeknownst to their subjects they moved into seperate bedrooms- he with his collection of uniforms, shoes and glitzy ball gowns; outfits that he soon became adept at wriggling into and peeling them off in a vaudeville quick-change frenzy. The victrola of Strauss waltzes, the growing cocoon of mirrors...
Evesdropping outside his door (as the domestics were wont to do) one would swear that one heard two people talking-
"Oh Prince, my Prince!"
"Yes my fairest, my turtle dove..."
Etc....
While the suite a few doors down the hall saw a succession of strange comings and goings. Dark and sinister bearded men bearing heavy clanking overnight bags showing up at shadowed hours of the night, then the muffled sounds of ecstatic agonies.
For a time they were anxiously secretive and discrete about these practices, until it dawned on them that there was really no one on Earth that they had to answer to. The old king was no longer around to pass judgement on his son; And the two stepsisters wouldn't have mattered even if they'd been allowed to live to see it (there seemed to be some potential in a situation like this, perhaps Cinderella had acted too hastily...). The implications of their absolute power lie before them like some shining uncharted Disneyland of decadence. The King stepped out in gutter-wench drag and---doubly incognito---began to haunt the waterfront bars...
So let the mentally fettered rabble be shocked and scandalized! As long as the army and the palace guard were happy with their fat paychecks and their extralegal status, and were to that extent loyal, who cared? The church lost the main part of its vocal and conscience-ridden leadership with the first few crucifixions.
Queen Cinderella overcame her initial squeamishness about these purgings and could now be seen at every one, lounging vamplike on her velvet divan there in her private box at the new colosseum, puffing her hookah and stroking a leather-clad teenage boy on a leash.
By the end of her reign she was staging festivals of depravity that would have made Caligula cringe. She and her husband became the best of neighbors, extending such civilities as were necessary as were necessary to maintain their joint rule.
.
And they lived happily ever after...
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
'Happily"
Nice work, Laika, some really cute images there. I like Queen C lounging on her velvet divan with her leather boy.
I wish there were a way I could do a search of other postings to seek out similar works in order to avoid copying.
I have trouble even at this moment
...imagining anything that would make Caligula cringe. I enjoyed this for the few moments I saw it once before. Nice complement/bookend to Janet's piece. I should wash both your mouths out with soap, but then I'd be responsible for both of you going blind!
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea
Love, Andrea Lena
I liked the last line!
Your story could have been called "Meet The Fuckers", but I think it's been taken?
No wonder "Cheerful" is always Happy!
I'll bet "Grumpy" goes last?
Naughty, Janet but funny!
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Love It!
How wonderfully irreverent. ;-) Portia
Portia
Oh Janet, that was a real
Oh Janet, that was a real hoot ! What a great way to make people choke over their breakfasts! And Laika, that was real sneaky the way you got your story on BCTS without going through Channels ! Wish I had thought of that! He he he!
Briar
Briar