My first effort, in part autobiographical, of course largely fantasy.

Saga
By Janet Baker

As a kid I played with boys and girls. At nine I played in the attic of a friend, found a pair of girls'
tap dancing shoes, and tried them on. I didn't know it then but in retrospect, I believe I evidently had some mis-wiring in my chromosomal configuration. While in the fifth grade I fantasized about keeping a cute classmate in some kind of caging. I'm not sure of its nature or design, but it was a place where I kept her. I had at that age no idea what to do with her but I must certainly have been emotionally involved. I guess that means I had a crush on her; she was a cute kid.

Then we moved away, life changed, my environment changed, I got older, and school was different. I still liked girls and found that I also liked women's shoes, seeing pictures of them in newspapers and catalogs. I had an occasional flash of desire to be a girl, but nothing too serious during my teen years, which were filled with work, school, and the usual teen activities. I continued to develop a deep preference for girls and tried my darnedest to bed them without success. I had a girl friend, but she remained a virgin until someone else deflowered her, made her pregnant, and married her (the marriage lasted only a short time). We never did see each other again.

After college and grad school I started Information Technology work in New York. It suited me perfectly, since I could work from home a large percentage of the time, and found a nice apartment down in the Village. I loved Village life -- it was free wheeling and tolerant, with lots of good restaurants. I regularly dined at a great restaurant on Baxter Street.

While attending school, I learned that I had a proclivity for women's things as well as for women themselves. After school, when I lived by myself, I dated. I had a few 'steadies' but increasingly I found myself buying and wearing women's clothes; Armani, Gucci, the Ralph Lauren Leopard collection, oh yes and a lovely red suit by Dior; and of course lingerie, shoes, wigs, and dresses. At home only, since I had not yet realized the extent of my movement toward womanhood, and initially I had no desire to 'pass'. Yet, as time went on I started to think about going out dressed, of 'passing' as a woman. The thought excited me.

Some time later, I visited Michael Salem's upscale TG boutique in Manhattan. I was able to learn makeup techniques there and buy some gowns and costumes. I also bought breast forms to give me a proper feminine figure. I adore the feeling of nylon panties, so caressable, so smooth, so slick to the touch. With loving care I pull on my pantyhose, again, so smooth, they make my legs look so pretty.

I spent hours on the internet discovering that there were quite literally millions of persons like me, either simply cross dressers or in many cases, people who were really transgendered. Many of these folks were in various stages of the transition from male to female, again many going all the way with sex reassignment surgery (SRS).

I became somewhat concerned over my desires and sought out a therapist specializing in gender disorder. And learned, as I suspected, that I was one of millions with a gender disorder. He explained to me that doctors believe that a chromosome error may be providing a female component to a male, which over time may surface as a largely female personality, to a lesser extent a female physical appearance, wherein the man increasingly desires female trappings and eventually an increased female appearance. Ultimately some people realize their desire is a serious compulsion which results in their journey, a difficult journey, toward womanhood. I was quite comforted to learn that I was not peculiar or crazy, just slightly different, slightly 'miswired'. But more than being comforted I was thrilled since I could now enjoy my dressing and the liberating feeling of my changing identity without guilt feelings.

I could look in the mirror and see a woman, not just a fellow in a dress. In my case, I was always somewhat slender, a bit shorter than average, with luxuriant blond hair. So it was easy for me to see a woman.

My therapist, after numerous sessions, determined that I was in fact somewhat transgendered and could, if I desired, undertake hormone therapy and perhaps ultimately undergo SRS. The decision to do so would rest with me.

I returned to my apartment, mulled and meditated, reflected, and considered my future. For the present I decided to continue my dressing, and I found myself increasingly desiring to present myself as a woman. I had not yet appeared in public as my femme persona, Janet, but more and more I wanted to pass my time dressed. Whenever I was home, I dressed. I was almost a recluse, remaining in my apartment dressed most of the time. Of course, when I went to the office I dressed in normal men's clothing.

One day, our IT manager announced that a colleague was transgendered, and from now on would dress continually as a woman. His, now her, transgender status was supported by the management, and tolerance and respect would be the order of the day. This event told me that I could do the same if I wished. I went to the manager and told him a little of my history and indicated that I would also like to come to work en femme.

The manager having no objection to my proposal, I embarked on a serious transformation by scheduling a makeover, nails, hair, makeup and even electrolysis and waxing. I expanded my shopping trips, buying many clothes, especially clothes for work, lovely business suits, dresses, and shoes, shoes, shoes, handbags, and jewelry. This change in work conditions permitted me to start hormone therapy, and after some months my breasts became more prominent and best of all, gained some sensitivity. It was fun, pleasant for me to manipulate my breasts and nipples.

On a typical day I would wear my bra, forms, panties, pantyhose, wig, blouse, short satin skirt, and my darling little Mary Jane patent heels. They have a three inch heel, just right for wearing all day long. I finished with pearls to give the right accent at neck and wrist.

I found myself in a dilemma. I still considered myself heterosexual but I rarely dressed as a man. As I went back and forth to work I continually noticed men eyeing me as I would still eye women. This wasn't right, somehow, So I started going out to clubs, bars where singles would meet and perhaps dance. Naturally I was approached by men who would buy me drinks and ask to dance.

I danced.
Of course.
I was attractive.

I was held closely by my partners; it was most pleasant to be held, comforting. Frequently my partners would become tumescent and we would dance apart until the erection subsided, then become close again. I would smile at my partner as I pulled closer to him. The mutual body language was most pleasing. My partner would realize that I was not offended by his becoming erect.

My internet interludes exposed me to a sexual variant known as bondage. I became fascinated with such images and found myself becoming sexually excited, aroused. I started to fantasize about being bound by a partner, at first a woman, then a man, but I also feared being bound and made helpless by someone I didn't know and thus could not really trust. I fantasized about being a woman and being bound and subjugated by a man. The thoughts remained with me, and I continued to wish for a bondage experience. These fantasies made me feel more like a woman.

I went out to a dance club one night, dressed attractively in my LBD, black stockings, pearls, and black satin strappy sandals (I had had my hair done that afternoon). I looked really hot. It only took a few minutes of sitting at a bar when I was approached by a fellow who offered to buy me a drink. I accepted, we chatted, we danced.

"I‘m new here, do you come here often?"

"I've been here before, but I don't recognize you, I guess you're not a regular."

"I live in the Village but this bar is a good distance from my apartment. I hoped that a new bar might have a new group and I might find someone with common interests."

"Good point, any luck yet?"

"No, but I haven't asked you about your interests, your life. Good time to ask if you are married or currently with a significant other."

"No, not married, not steady, love ballet, theater, movies, do IT for a living. You?"

"Arbitrager."

"Then you depend on computers a great deal."

"Oh yeah, my life's blood."

"What about entertainment, hobbies?"

"Ballet, primarily."

"Dance?"

"Sure."

We danced, slow and close, he held me very tightly, his right hand at my upper back, pulling my chest close to his; his left hand pulled mine around to my back at waist height in a dominating mode. I breathed deeply, I was getting aroused, I looked in his eyes, turned my head slightly for a kiss. He kissed me, gently, and returned the gaze. "That was very nice," he said. "My name is Joel, by the way."

"I'm Janet. Encore, encore un baccio. A kiss, again a kiss. Do you recognize it? It's from Otello on his way to bed with Desdemona."

"Sounds better in Italian. Could I walk you home?"

"I'd like that, but I don't get intimate on a first meeting, well, not beyond some hot kisses, you do kiss with elegance. Perhaps we can try that again."

"Love to, let's go."

We walked arm in arm to my apartment, I invited him in, we had coffee, exchanged some passionate kisses.

"I'd like to see you again. The bar perhaps? Or should we make it something more formal? The ballet perhaps?", he said.

"Great, the ABT is doing Giselle next week, see if you can get tickets."

Another series of kisses later we said goodnight.

I was troubled. I liked the guy, but I was still a male with all the requisite male equipment. What to do? How to handle it?

He called, gave me the scoop on tickets, and we agreed on meeting for a light dinner before the ballet.

Joel arrived, we took a cab uptown to the ballet. It became evident during our chats that Joel had no idea that I was anything other than an attractive woman. He seemed to be quite comfortable with me, holding hands, now and then giving me a surreptitious light kiss. Dinner was fun, we learned more about each other; the more I learned, the more I liked him … but.

He liked me, I could tell, a girl always knows…oh oh …but.
The ballet was stunning. We returned downtown and went to the club where we'd first met for some dancing. We danced, very intimately, I rubbed my pelvis against him shamelessly. I was hot too…but…. He rubbed me back, and whispered,
"I want you, I really want you."

"Oh God, we have to talk", I replied.

"Huh?"

"We must talk, privately, quietly, there are things you must know about me; I am not all that I seem."

"Oh Christ, every time I meet a girl I like, she has issues. What's the problem?"

"We must be quiet, you must not be loud, express shock, please just chill out."

"OK, give me the bad news."

"I am transgendered, for me that means I am on my way to becoming a complete woman; for the present I still retain certain masculine attributes. We have never discussed this subject so I have no idea what your attitude might be and I was nervous and reluctant to broach the subject. But now…we must have some plain talk."

He was quiet for a moment. "Now what?" he said finally. "I…must do some thinking…I really like you. We have a lot in common, we have had some good times together, even without sex."

"Just relax, take your time, there's no urgency, I'm not going anywhere, we can talk, maybe we can explore ourselves a little. Let's dance again, have a drink or so, then return to my apartment and you can learn more about me."

As we danced he said, "Funny, I have issues too, relating to my sexual preferences. I think that our chat this evening is going to be very very interesting."

We danced, slow and close, I rubbed my belly and pelvis against him, and he became hard. I smiled up at him, put my head on his shoulder, then kissed his earlobe, breathed deeply, rubbed him again. We drank a few more cocktails, then left. When we arrived back at my place we were both ready.........randy but we had to talk.

"Who's first?", he said.

"You go, I doubt that sexual preferences can possibly take longer than my problem."

"Well, to be blunt, I like bondage games."

My jaw dropped, I gasped, smiled, replied, "guess what!"

"You too?"

"Yeessss."

"OK, but now it's your turn, tell me more about your being transgendered."

I recounted my long journey to my present status including my trips to the therapist and the fact that I was in hormone therapy, that in fact many bodily changes have already occurred.

"Fascinating, Janet, we have a lot to think about. But in the meantime, lets have some fun. I would love to tie you up."
“I’m frightened, Joel, I don’t know you very well…”
“Here’s my drivers license, call a friend give her the information on the license, tell her we are about to become intimate and to check back with you later this evening and you’ll tell her all about it. But talk only to you. Will that be OK?”

I did, I called Jennifer, a work friend, told her what was up and to please call later to make sure I am OK.

“Now.”

"How do you want me?"

"Take your dress off, we don't want to mess it up."

I stripped to my bra, panties, stockings, left my pearl necklace on, and helped him find all the rope and toys we might use. I sat down on a chair, and he tied my ankles, then my legs above my knees, then tied my wrists together behind the back of the chair, forcing my breasts out. While I watched, he undressed, then went behind me and rubbed his cock against my arms. It got quickly very hard. I could hardly wait for it to be plunged into my ass or my mouth. Of course, where I was tied he could do neither. He undid my bra, caressed my breasts, knelt down on the floor, suckled my nipples.

He untied me from the chair, helped me kneel, tied my arms tightly together above the elbows and around my chest above and below my breast line, and pulled them so tight I squealed. But I endured because I loved the tight bondage so much. "Now Janet, your mouth, open wide, hold your breath." He plunged his cock all the way into my mouth and throat, thrust quickly a few times, then withdrew. I gasped for air and waited for the next assault. It came quickly and quickly he came, spurting his sperm down my throat, making me choke and then swallow.

"Sweet Janet, that was great, you are fantastic, rest now, we will try some more rope tricks then."

My alter ego Janet loved to be tied with ropes, ropes took longer than chains or cuffs, prolonging the pleasure. Joel, after having shot a load down my throat, laid me down on the floor for a full hog tie. What is a full hog tie? Picture me gagged, face down on the floor, arms tied behind me in four places, four loops around my chest and upper arms above my breasts, four loops around my arms below my breasts, four loops around my arms at waist level, arms tied tightly together above and below elbows. Finally wrists tied together and then to my ankles which were also tied together and around my shoe heels. I loved it, I could only squirm a little and moan. He rolled me onto my side, squeezed my breasts, rolled me prone again. He untied my ankles from my wrists, straightened my legs out, pulled my panties off, spread my legs, lubed his cock and my ass and slowly inserted his cock into my rectum. I loved every inch of it, alternately relaxing and squeezing until it was thrust deeply into me....

He took my gag off, I thanked him...

Oh god, what a screwing! He lubed me, thrust his rock hard cock into my rectum, slowly at first, then faster and deeper until I was sore and he came with a mighty thrust. I loved every second of it. I was still roped tightly, wrists, arms, ropes around chest. He put my panties back on me, tied my legs together above the knees, stood me up and told me to walk, he liked to see me helpless, breasts thrust out. He didn't know it but I loved to strut back and forth in front of the mirror admiring my breasts, and now with my arms tied behind me I looked even more erotic, I was starting to get a hard on. I couldn't walk too well with my knees tied but that was the idea, he wanted me to look awkward and helpless. I loved it.

"Ready to suck cock, Janet?"

"Yes, yes, are you ready, or just asking?"

"Shortly, turn around, use your hands."

I turned, my back to him, felt his flaccid cock and started to massage and squeeze it. He quickly got hard, he turned me, helped me onto my knees, and held his cock at my face.

I smiled up at him, opened my mouth, stuck my tongue out, and touched his cock. He quivered, thrust it into my mouth. I sucked, moved my head back and forth. He withdrew, thrust, withdrew, and thrust some more. He held my head and shoved his cock deep into my mouth, down into my throat.

I gasped, gagged, pulled my head back and gasped for breath, then he thrust again, ejaculating into my mouth. He held my head, cock still in my mouth so I had to swallow.

I rested a while, swallowing, licking my mouth clean, I started to stand but he held me down, then roped my ankles together, immobilizing me. I loved the helpless feeling. He roped my wrists back onto my ankle ropes, making again a hog tie but in the kneeling position. "I want you to stay there until I am ready for another blow job."

"Well I sure can't move now, can I?"

"No, I think I'll just sit here and watch you wriggle and try to get loose."

"Oh you want me to get loose?"

"If you can, its fun watching you."

I wriggled without success. He laughed at my attempts, got hard again,
and presented his cock to my face again............

**********
A week later, Joel left after a really delightful evening. He hesitated at the door, said, "Janet, I really like you, you are one fun lady, one fun screw, but….I have family concerns…I am an heir to a fair amount of money and I really want to have children, not only to have heirs but also because I love kids. Obviously you can't have children even after SRS and I wonder whether with your bigendered mind you could be a proper mother for adopted children. I don't know, but I wonder, and it's important to me. I would like to see you again -- we had good fun, but I warn you, our relationship may not go anywhere."
"I understand, completely, but I am willing to see you again. We do have lots in common and yes, you are a good bedmate also. I am going to bed tonight dreaming about impaling myself on your cock, slowly lowering myself onto you until it is all the way into my rectum, then I am going to squirm, wriggle, thrust up and down until I make you shoot sperm up into my bowel."

I said that, but I knew it was over, that it was his farewell speech.

I was lonely without Joel, I cried myself to sleep that night, considered suicide, asked myself why had God made me confused, bigendered, what did I do to deserve this?

**************************

Months later I had largely recovered from losing Joel.

I was feeling a little horny. I itched with the desire to be bound up but no one was there to help. I wanted a date with someone who would tie me tightly, play with my boobies, my cock, and maybe even fuck me. I get dates like that now and then, but not often enough, and also I need to be careful since some dominant men are real sadists. I really don't want to be injured or castrated or worse. I should try to marry or live with some guy who will treat me like a woman, tie me, kiss me, fuck me.

So I figured I better entertain myself as best possible.

I had all afternoon to have some private fun. I stripped, pulled on my dildo brief, slid the dildo deep into my rectum, and squirmed with delight. Then I dressed. I love my pantyhose, so slick, so smooth, then my bra and my new smaller breast forms (my breasts were growing nicely), and my blouse, skirt, and high patent heels. I admired myself in the mirror, shook my boobies, caressed them, they felt good. I practiced some ties, looped my white nylon rope around my ankles, then looped it around my legs just above my knees and tied it.

The doorbell rang. I couldn't move, it rang again, the door opened, damn, I forgot to lock the damn door. Some guy walked in, there I was sitting on a chair, legs tied, dressed.

“Oh oh, are you OK? Who tied you, what happened?”

“I…I..”

“Here, let me untie you.”

“Thank you, Who are you?”

"I'm Roger, a friend of Joel, perhaps he mentioned me.”
"Joel told me that you were a special friend of his and that you might welcome a new acquaintance. But who tied you? Were you robbed, hurt?”

Speechless, I muttered, “Uhhh.”

He untied me, I straightened myself up.

I said, “I’m OK, I don’t wish to discuss it but since you are here, lets have a drink or so, get acquainted, tell me how Joel is doing, I haven’t seen him for some time.”

“He’s fine, engaged now, misses you, he told me so, told me about you and suggested I look you up.”

God, was I relieved.
I relaxed.

“Janet, Joel told me you like bondage games and I suppose you were tying yourself when I arrived. You don’t need to answer, it was apparent. Joel, knowing that I like bondage also, suggested that I look you up. He said that you were great in many ways.”
“We could play, but a bit later, sometime, when we are better acquainted.”

“OK.”

“Roger, before I engage in B games, I like to have a back up for safety, would you mind if I call a friend, give her your info before we start? Also I want to call Joel for old times sake and to thank him for sending you to me.”

“Sure, go ahead, here’s my ID.”

“Roger, the evening has just begun, lets go out have a snack, chat a bit, hit the club, dance, really get acquainted.”

“Fine with me but untying you has already gotten us to know each other.”

“Yeah, but I need a walk, a drink, and some belly to belly dancing. While we dance you can whisper to me, telling me how you want to tie me up.”
“OK, I’m game, let’s go.”

Later when we returned to my apartment, we shared a few passionate kisses and he asked if we could start a few basic ties.

Ready I was, I replied, "Oh, lovely, I really need a good roping, I have been itching for it."

He thought about it, looked at my collection of ropes, shackles and chains and motioned for me to hold my hands out in front of me. He roped my wrists together, tossed the rope over a wall hook (its function was obvious), and hoisted my arms up over my head and secured the rope. I was left sitting on the floor, back against the wall, legs in front of me. He unbuttoned my blouse, played with my boobies, put his finger between my legs, tickling my cock. I smiled, laughed, encouraged him to continue, asked him to tie my arms around the elbows. I just liked rope and more rope. I smiled, and said "you know, I have a dildo stuck into my ass, but I could still entertain you, would you like me to suck you off?"

"Yes but you are too low, lets put a footstool under you." He did, it brought me up to sucking height. He opened his fly, brought out his cock and I started to suck. Being tied, helpless, and being "forced" to suck cock or be fucked was more fun than anything else I could imagine.

I liked Roger, he was expert at bondage, and I could tell that from the first cords he put on me. Sitting on the low stool, I sucked him off, then he put more ropes on me and I sucked him off again. This time he asked me to hold the cum in my mouth while he watched me hold it. That was fun, I swirled it around in my mouth, made faces at him while I held the mouthful of delicious cum, a slightly salty taste, all guys' cum tastes different.

We tried a new bondage; I stood, he roped my legs at the knees, making walking very erotic and difficult. Since he could not cum for a while, he gagged me with an inflatable gag, strapping it around my head and pumping it up, filling my mouth, forcing my jaws apart.

He sat me on a chair again, tying my wrists together behind the chair and fastening the rope to a chair rung. Then to make me uncomfortable he spread my legs to the chair legs even though my knees were tied together. He roped my ankles, one by one to the chair legs. With my feet tied back and my arms behind the chair back, my breasts (my boobies) in their lace bra were forced outward.

He moved a mirror to me so I could admire myself.
Oh so erotic!

With that gag filling my mouth I could hardly moan but I groaned as best I could to let him know I was OK and still loving every moment. He played with my boobies, fingered my cock, then sat down to admire his handiwork.

I could barely squirm, but I did my best, and after some time his cock revived, he carefully deflated my gag and removed it. He wanted me to suck him again but I was tied so I could not reach his cock. I was too high and too far back. He untied my hands from the chair rung, got another rope, wrapped it around my neck and pulled me frontward and down to cock height. He tied the rope around my thighs, keeping me in position. He then grabbed my head and thrust his cock into my mouth for another sucking session. Shortly, he came, not as much cum, I held it until he said swallow.

I really liked Roger. I was still tied but I asked him if he was married and could he see me again, I wanted more of him. I was becoming Janet in body and in mind, I felt so female, I wanted to cuddle with him, be with him, have him fuck me, suck his cock, be his submissive sex slave, be tied, be waiting for him when he came home from work. I would love to present myself to him, chained and waiting, him having the keys to my locks and irons, handcuffs, submission collar, maybe even my chastity belt. Oh god, I was so hot just thinking about it....

Roger left after releasing me, saying that he would like to see me again but just like Joel, he wanted a real woman, someone with whom he could have children, someone he could present to his family and friends. I understood, I cried, I said goodbye.

These submissive interludes with Joel and Roger convinced me that I am a woman, in mind, and shortly will be in body. I shudder with passion thinking about how I feel with these men, how I was really born a woman but in a man’s body, how wonderful when I have the operation and become a total woman ready to face the world as the new me, proud and female.

Some day, I will stand in front of a man and he will look at me as I look at him and love will pass between us, unsaid but real ... some day ... someday ... the right man, if there is one in the world ... for someone like me. There will be no doubts, no questions and I’ll be happy, blissfully happy, and as obedient as a child.

Chapter Two

Still in the summer doldrums, July passed, August and its god awful heat still facing me; I sat at my computer, bra, panties, mules doing my daily bit for the company. Income was more than satisfactory but I was anything but fulfilled. I wanted sex.

I continued to take hormones and whatever else the docs gave me to further my movement toward womanhood. I had been essentially chemically castrated, balls shrinking nicely, penile activity diminishing. I felt a sense of loss not wholly mitigated by my increased femininity. My breasts were blossoming, skin softening, all the good things were happening as predicted by the docs. But I was still horny, unfulfilled, needing sexual release. I need a man but I wasn’t ready and wouldn’t be for some time, perhaps a year or more, I had to save money, arrange for time off from work and decide where to go. I had been informed that Thailand was one of the better sources for SRS but that was still expensive and so far away and in a country where I had no contacts and did not know a word of the language.

I dated occasionally without great satisfaction since I looked like a woman but could not invite vaginal activity since quite simply, I did not have one and finding men who wanted a shemale, which I was at that stage of my development, was problematic. Frequently they had more baggage and psychological problems than I had and some were downright dangerous. With guys about whom I had doubts, I never let them know I was a bondage enthusiast. I was usually able to satisfy their needs orally and had become quite the hot little expert. But more often than not these liaisons were less than pleasant, much less than satisfactory. I began to think that after SRS I would move to another part of the country where I was unknown and could start anew. I looked so much like a woman that after SRS I would look the same and thus could easily be recognized as who I was two years ago.

I entertained myself with personal, solo things such as anal play and self bondage; the remote controlled bullet vibrator was a great source of pleasure, it just sat in there behind the sphincter waiting to be energized. One pushes the button and zzzipppp pa de do da, nice feeling.

I had one of my dates, Siggy, insert a bullet vibe in himself before we went to a bar.
He didn’t want to but I persuaded him, easily, men are so easily led by their cocks or the thought of where their cocks may be later in the night. I waited until we reached the bar before energizing the vibe. He was just about to sit after having seated me. I pushed the button just as he was half way down onto his seat, he jumped up, jaw dropped, almost shouted but recovered his composure and grinned at me.

“You rat you.”

“Is there a problem Siggy?”, I innocently replied.

“You know what you did.” he said, not really angry, laughing a bit.

“Of course, that’s why I had you insert it before we left, I wanted to have some fun.”
“Aren’t you enjoying it, I love it myself, it just sits in there buzzing merrily away until I stop it.”

“It does feel good, it was just a surprise, coming as I was about to sit, drink?” he said.

“I’ll have a Manhattan. Shall we dance? I want to rub you and make you hard.”

He shook his head in wonder, “OK, lets, and while we’re dancing turn on the vibe and see if the feel comes through to you.”

He led me to the floor, we danced slow and tight, the vibe working its wonders, he got so hot his cock shoved me away from him, well, almost, and I pushed back and we grinned at each other.

After a while his tumescence diminished (cock sagged) and we returned to our table.

“Let me have the control, I want to buzz myself”, he said.

“Wellll, I dunno, I’m having more fun springing it on you, but I have a suggestion.”
“Lets have another dance, we’ll tell each other what we want to do at my apartment.”

Siggy whispered, “I would like to tie you to your bed and ravish you for hours.”

“Oooh, kinky, no Siggy, no ropes, anyway Siggy, it’s that time of the month and I can’t….so I would be happy to do something else….such as,” I kissed him, sucked his tongue, withdrew, lifted an eyebrow questioningly, smiled, stroked his thigh.

He sighed, grinned, nodded and we left.
It was a pleasant walk to my apartment and randomly as I turned on the vibe Siggy would jump. We laughed, chatted, I liked taking his arm as a real woman; I felt good, warm inside, well, maybe it was the drinks.
At my apartment we had a glass of wine, some munchies, sat on the sofa, watched a porn disk, got hot. He pulled up and off my knit top, caressed my breasts, slipped my bra straps off my shoulders, fondled my exposed breasts, fingered my nipples, I shuddered with growing passion, realized that I had to stop before we went too far.
I stopped him, said, “Siggy, strip!”
Siggy stripped his trousers and briefs off, dropping them to the floor.
“Wait Siggy, I need a washcloth. I’ll be right back.”
I returned in a few moments, knelt before him, he had sat down again on the sofa. I washed his cock which by now was arrogantly ready for attention.
And then I sucked and sucked; he twitched and groaned, squirmed and gasped as I took his cock farther down my throat, sucking greedily as there were no tomorrow. Well…it didn’t take long and Siggy came in my mouth like a good little boy, filled my mouth, I looked up at him, mouth open, full of ejaculate, smiled, sort of, swallowed.
Siggy sat back sighing with the pleasure of release.

“Good Siggy?”

“God, yes, you are freaking awesome Jan!”

“Do you like to see me on my knees, Siggy?”

“Oh yeah, very very erotic, you are the best, woman!”

“I bet you say that to all your cock suckers, Sig.”

“Actually, Jan, you were the first and it was so great, you are so sweet and the image of you on your knees, half dressed, stockings, heels, sucking me will remain with me probably forever.”

“That’s so nice Sig, someday if you are really nice, I might let you tie my hands behind me while I suck you. Would you like that idea?”

His cock sprang to attention. He liked that idea indeed.

“Oh yes, yessss, please, when may I see you again?”

“Oh, sometime, I’m busy, but I’ll call you …. sometime.”
“Sig, it’s getting late and we both work tomorrow, let me do you again before you leave.”

His smile broadened, his cock stiffened, I knelt, clasped my hands together behind myself, holding my ankles while I sucked him off. He came even more quickly than before; the erotic idea of bound hands did him in.
Men are so easy. So malleable. So stupid, letting their cocks think for them.

We kissed goodnight, passionately, tongues twirling, pelvises grinding, vowing to call again. The usual.

**************************

Joel called, left a message, asked me to call back.
H’m, what’s on Joel’s mind, well other than sex of course, I wondered. He won’t want to resume our abortive romance; he’s already made that clear; must be sex, bondage of course…h’m lets see.
I’ll email him, let him call.

Predictably, quickly (he must be horny), he called.
“Janet, Joel here, how are you sweet? I’ve missed you.”

“Big whoopee Joel, who walked out on whom? You bastard, I cried for a month after you left me.”
“Janet, you have no idea how much that hurt me; I cried too, thinking of how I deserted the sweetest person I’ve known and how much it must have hurt you. I had so much fun with you, we had such good times together.”

“Well, I’m over you, it took time but I’m OK now. What can I do for you, you called.”

“I want a date. A very special date. A very very special date. The MET is opening the last Monday of September and I would like to take you, I already have tickets. You know the drill; red carpet, TV cameras, black tie, gowns, jewels, the whole bit. If you need anything, I will pay for it.”

“And in return?, I asked with suspicion and trepidation.

“I don’t blame you for being wary. Of course I would like to renew our fun times but there are no strings attached to this offer. I like you, always have, and I would be proud to have you, lovely you, on my arm that night.”

Taken quite aback, I hesitated, inhaled, said, “H’m, Joel, come to the bar on Houston St., the one
we know, on Saturday night. We’ll have a couple of drinks, dance, chat and I’ll let you know then.
I want to see you before I make a decision. After all, it means a new dress shoes, bag, maybe even special lingerie for the dress, and a makeover. I must look good really good for an occasion like that.”

He replied, “OK Saturday, 8 PM, OK?”

“OK, bye now, thanks for calling.”

Joel’s offer sounded great and, as I think about it, I need a good fucking; he can do it, he has done it, many times. I know we’ll never marry but that won’t stop me from looking dating, hoping, hoping to find that one man for whom I pray.
I can trust Joel with bondage games, oh yessss, the more I think about it, the hotter I get.
I think that Saturday night will provide a good time for a good fucking.
H’m I better practice sucking my dildo, Joel goes to paradise when I suck him off. Maybe, just maybe he might think of not having children but just spending his life getting screwed out of his mind.

********************

Saturday night could not come too soon. I prepped for it, carefully, wantonly. I had my hair done in an upsweep, tendrils hanging on each side, diamond chandeliers for my ears
black satin halter dress, no bra, no panties, just a black satin gaff, thigh high black stockings with wide lace tops that show through the slit in my dress and black satin strappy sandals. Since I’ll wear diamonds in my ears, I’ll wear my diamond necklace, bracelet and a ring. I want to look hot, very hot. H’m, I may be overdoing it…do I really want to walk to the bar looking like this…maybe I should call Joel and have him pick me up and then walk…yeah, having him see me first might be good…walking with me also….yeah…I’ll call. Overdressed? Maybe. Looking like this will tell him I want sex; of course it will also tease him…h’m.

“Hi, Joel, it’s me.”

“Hi, what’s up?”

“Joel, slight change for Saturday; stop by my apartment and we’ll walk together, OK?”

“Sure, is there a problem?”

“No, no problem, I want to walk with you.” I didn’t want to tell him I was reluctant to walk to the bar alone sans bra. I am a devious bitch at times.

“OK.”

*****************************

I dressed, the doorbell rang, it was Joel, on time.
I let him in.
He took one look at me and gasped, “Oh God, Janet, you look great, simply great, I am soooo impressed.”

“Joel, you look good, nice suit. Do you like what I’m wearing? Am I overdressed?
Underdressed?”, I asked, grinning seductively.

“No, you look really good, let’s go, have a drink, talk about the opera, old times.”
He dropped a satchel near the door and we left.

Fortunately my dress was tight enough so it would not blow up and show my gaff. I held his arm tightly as we strolled to the bar on Houston. We were seated at a table, ordered drinks and Joel explained more about the opera opening. I suggested that I might find a silver lame halter type floor length sheath for the opening. The halter dress would permit diamonds as I was wearing then. I also wanted a short fur in case the weather turned chilly. He thought it a really chic idea.
He offered to fund anything too excessive for my budget. I thanked him and offered to dance. Being a wanton witch, I wanted to rub him, letting him realize that I had no bra. If he got hard quickly, I would know that I would get lucky that night and I really wanted to get lucky but at the same time
I was miffed, pissed at the idea that he could walk in, buy a drink and expect world class sex.
After all, he did walk out on me.

We danced, slow, sensuous, close, our arms wrapped around each other; I thrust my pelvis against him, rubbed my breasts against him. He got hard quickly…I figured…

“H’m, Joel…haven’t you been getting any lately? You seem to be hornier than usual.”

“Damn little…some…but none as good as you. I think that your male brain is responsible for your positive attitude toward sex. While I love it and appreciate it muchly, where others, who don’t know you as I do are concerned, might find you a little aggressive. You might want to be a little more conservative, show some reluctance; be a little harder to get, don’t be too easy.” “I may be wrong, out of line, but I care for you.”

“Thanks Joel, I will reflect on that a bit, but I think you’re right, I was aggressive toward you but we know each other. I do know how to behave with strangers.”

********************

Back at my apartment, we chatted a while, somewhat strained chat because we were both waiting for ‘a shoe to drop’; I knew what he wanted but I wanted him to ask. We necked, kissed and I said, “Joel, I have to go to the office early tomorrow, lets say goodnight; don’t forget your satchel.”
“OK, Janet, I brought some ‘toys’ but if that’s it for tonight, well, another time. but…could I show what I brought?”

“Sure, let’s see”

He dumped the contents onto my sofa. I was astonished. He had almost everything my perverted mind had ever conceived.

“Oh my God Joel, what the hell did you expect tonight? You have enough stuff here for a porn movie. You walked out on me and now you bring your toys expecting all night games? You rat! It was a lovely evening until now, damn it!”

I wasn’t really surprised, the bag appeared heavy when he brought it in and dropped it by the door.

“Let’s see, leg irons, steel collar, handcuffs, gags, chains, a chastity; Joel what did you have in mind? Spill it! You weren’t intending to hurt me, were you? This collection is more than we have ever needed.”

“Well, I was hoping. Period. Could we do a little something perhaps? For old times sake?”

H’m, maybe a little bit more than he planned on; I examined his collection, he had locks for everything requiring a lock and the locks were good. I tried a lock for the chastity; it was a good secure lock; I found both keys but better yet, I had my own locks. A plan was beginning to take shape.

“Joel, OK I’ll tell you what to do. Strip, wash, get into bed, I am going to handcuff you, get on top and screw you hard and quick, I don’t have much time.”

Happily he complied and quickly at that. While he was washing I located a lock to use on the chastity. I stripped and waited for him. He got into bed. I laid on top of him, gently moved his hands to the headboard rail, pulled the cuffs from under a pillow and snapped them on him.

“Are they too tight, honey? I whispered as I ground my pelvis onto his cock?”

“No Jan, they’re OK.”

After some industrial strength fucking, I rose off him, went to the john to drain the juices.
I returned with a wash rag and towel, cleaned him up. His erection had gone down and I pulled the chastity out from under the bed, got between his legs and put the chastity on him and locked it securely, putting both keys on a chain around my neck. He didn’t like it one bit.

“Janet, what the hell do you think you are doing? Take this damn thing off. Why did you do that?”

Innocently, I replied, “Joel, you brought it, I assumed you wanted it on you. Well it is on and it will stay on until you return next week and I unlock it. I want you to be true to me for a week Joel, OK?”

“When I get loose….”

“When you get loose, what Joel?”

“I could yank those keys right off your neck!”

“If you threaten me I might just leave you there for the night until you chill out and be reasonable. You brought that stuff intending to use those things on me. It looks like fun. I trust you Joel and you must trust me. This is just a game. Wear it for a week and we’ll have a ball when I take it off. Am I still invited to the opening?”

He grumped, said, “Yeah, you’ re invited, of course. When does this thing come off?
How do I pee?”

“Think! You sit, like a woman, naturally. Flush the chastity out when you shower to keep it clean. Come back next Saturday and if you are a good boy I will consider removing it.”

“Whaaaat! Consider! I want it off!”
“Next week, darling, be good, don’t screw anyone during the week. When you return, I might have a dress to show you. Nighty night, sweetie.”

He dressed, growled, grumped, but left, walking somewhat spraddle legged from the chastity. I had no sympathy for him, he wanted to put it on me.

****************************

I visited my doc during the week; she was satisfied with my progress and agreed to remove my testicles. I was queezy about it but removal was a necessary step in my progress to womanhood and it would ease certain dress problems. I would no longer have to tuck, sometimes with pain, my jewels up into my groin and removal would enhance my profile so tight skirts wouldn’t show any bulge.
We made an appointment for removal after the opera opening; it was a fairly simple procedure and I should heal quickly and since I worked from home on most days, I shouldn’t lose more than one day’s work. I also asked the doc to shave my Adam’s
apple a little and to, if possible, tighten up my vocal cords to give my voice a higher pitch.

Joel returned Saturday evening expecting to have the chastity removed. I had copied the key so I could give him the two keys he saw on my neck chain, expecting that he would put it on me in revenge. I did note that he brought his satchel of toys…oh…oh.

“Janet, ready for a drink? Lets hit the bar, dance a while before we get down to the good things. Jan, please take this gadget off, it is uncomfortable and dancing will be miserable.”

“OK, here are the keys, help yourself, then wash and we’ll leave. Joel removed the chastity and put it on my bed under a pillow and slipped the handcuffs under the other pillow…I saw him and knew what he had in mind. I took the chastity and put it in the laundry hamper.

I’m just about ready hon, just a touch-up on my makeup. I was wearing my little black halter top dress, no bra, just a gaff. Thigh high stockings and my five inch black patent heels were intended to torture poor Joel, making him hornier than hell; I knew he had a heel fetish.

At the bar I was hit on even though I was with Joel; he hated it, I loved it and danced with a couple of fellows, bringing them quickly to erections then leaving them to return to our table. He was seething and asked me if I was satisfied. I replied that I was having fun and his turn would come later. That mollified him, we continued to drink and dance and left around eleven.

We entered my apartment, he held me, kissed me deeply, passionately, I returned the kiss
held him tightly, thrust my pelvis against him, felt his erection. With unsaid agreement we stripped in the bedroom.

I laid on my bed, stretched out, waited for Joel to cuff me, smiled at him, said, “come on Joel I’m waiting to be fucked, condoms are in the nightstand.” He put on a condom, lubed it, lifted my legs, heels over his shoulders, I pulled my ass cheeks apart, waited for him to enter. He thrust tentatively against my anus, thrust more firmly, entered, once past the sphincter, he slid in easily. I gasped, moaned. I reached back to the bars on the headboard, held them while I thrust back at Joel.

“Oh God, Joel!, faster!, deeper!, harder!! Uhhhhh!, oh God Joel, more!!”

“Yeooh! Jan, I’m coming!!”

I could feel him spurt into me, again and again, I could feel the warmth of the ejaculate in my bowel through the condom, I lowered my legs, wrapped them around his waist, pulled him close, tight.

“Oh Joel, damn it, I love you!”

“Janet, you’re the greatest, I adore you, ehhh, will you trust me for some bondage games?”

“Sure, but first I want to call someone for backup.”

“You still don’t trust me enough, do you?”

“Oh, OK, I trust you.”

He cuffed my hands in front of me, linked them to a chain, hooked the chain to a wall hook I had installed for bondage games, totally securing me. I could kick, scream if I wanted to but could not get my hands down. He dumped his bag of toys onto the bed, took a gag, gagged me, buckled the gag, pretty well preventing me from any articulate complaining.
I could see the toys he put on the bed, I was more than nervous but….
there was nothing I could do at this point so I relaxed and waited for his next move.
He put cuffs on my ankles, spread my legs with a spreader bar so I could not squeeze my legs together.
Then! He picked up a bag from his collection, opened it, showed me the contraption he had hidden in it. Oh damn, it was the ultimate in chastity belts; a Neosteel from Germany. The sadist chuckled as he explained the function to me, one feature at a time, watching me shudder in anticipation. I shook my head NO NO!

He laughed, said “Yes! Yes! Yes! A little bit of retribution from last week.“

He put it on me. A leather covered steel belt circled my waist, not tightly yet, there was more to do. He put my penis inside a steel tube, reached around my rear, lubed my anus, lubed a dildo fastened to the crotch belt and started pushing the dildo into my rectum at the same time moving the penis tube up my penis, totally incarcerating it within its steely grasp. Chains extended from the crotch belt to the sides of the waist belt. He pulled the affair up into a tight position, locked the belt securely and stood back to examine his handywork. I was fucked. My ass was plugged, I could not touch my cock, the belt was very tight. I WAS FUCKED!

He uncuffed my ankles, let my wrists down, still cuffed, took my gag off.

“Joel damn it, how the hell can I wear this thing, I can hardly walk, can’t go potty, I can’t even get fucked in the ass. I want it off!”

“When I please, Janet”, he replied calmly. “Be patient, darling, we have more to do. I don’t want any argument so… here’s your little gag dearie”, he said as he put a blowup gag in my mouth and expanded it, filling my mouth so I could only moan and groan.

Next a steel collar, locked, with two chains hanging from it with handcuffs at the ends of
the chains. While I was not going to resist, he cuffed my wrists into the new cuffs before undoing the first pair. This maintained the feeling of total control he wanted to impose upon me. It worked! I didn’t move while he decorated me with chains and locks and cuffs.
“You see, Janet, you have considerable mobility in your arms since chains are about two feet long and you can walk now, I took the spreader bar off, don’t you feel more free now?” he teased.

I shook my head No, No, No!

“Later darling, and don’t think such evil thoughts. Remember, we are having fun, aren’t we?”

I shook my head slowly, very slowly…yes.

He looked at me critically, thinking about what to do next.
Oh, oh, more cuffs and chains.
He put leather lined steel cuffs on my arms above the elbows and linked them with about two feet of chain, thus not inhibiting movement. So…what’s the point. Ah, ha, a snap link allowed him to pull my arms together behind me at the elbows thus preventing any real arm or hand freedom.

He made me kneel, put leg irons on my ankles, linked the arm chain to the leg iron chain and I was immobilized, fucked for fair. I could hardly move. I waited.
He deflated my gag, removed it. He waited for me to say something.

“Joel, what the hell are you up to, I never agreed to this level of restraint.”

“Well actually, we never discussed it. But never fear, you will be released in due time. I would never leave you alone with your butt plugged and locked.”
“But now, my sweet, with your lovely mouth open, you have some sucking to do. A lot of sucking, about two hours worth of sucking. I’m going to sit down and relax, you can wiggle your way over here and start to work.”

Eventually, he tired, unchained me, unplugged me, put all his toys back into his satchel, kissed me goodnight and left. I promised to call when I had acquired everything I needed for the opera.

I did some searching but finally located a silver lame sheath dress and the right accessories.
I dressed completely to be sure all was well. I put on a silver gaff, white panties, silverish pantyhose, white strapless bra with forms to fill out what my body still had not completed, silver over the elbow gloves, and my jewels. I examined myself carefully in the mirror, deciding that I was as perfect as I could be. I called Joel, told him I was dressed for the opera and if he wanted a preview to come over to my place. It was an invitation he wouldn’t pass up and forthwith he appeared at my door.

“Holy jeeze, Janet, you are awesome, lets fuck.”

“Get off it Joel, if you like what you see, say so and go.”

“Yes, you look great, I can’t wait to take you to the opening. I trust that I am forgiven for the liberties I took with you not long ago?”

“Yes, forgiven, not forgotten, actually I want to do it again.”

Chapter Three

I started to dress for the opera. I had found the dress I sought, a silver lame ankle length sheath, slit up to mid thigh. I put on my silver gaff, no bulges tonight by God,
silverish panties (better than the white ones), silken glimmer lace top thigh high stockings, no garter belt, I don’t want snaps to show under the sheath, a VC bra with halter style straps (better fit than the strapless), forms to augment my growing breasts, and five inch heel silver evening sandals. Of course I spent the afternoon in a salon being totally made up and over, hair up held with a diamond accented comb. Christ was I cute!! I accessorized with diamond chandeliers, choker, bracelet, a couple of diamond and emerald rings (souvenirs of previous affairs) and over the elbow silver satin gloves. A silver clutch evening bag completed the picture, yes a picture to behold. I was almost too pretty to fuck, if that is even possible.

Joel arrived on time; we took a cab up to Lincoln Center, started up the red carpet. We were intercepted by a staff member trying to separate the important arrivals from the rest. He stopped us and asked who we were.
I said, “You don’t know me? Well!” and walked on and stopped where Susan (Graham of course) was interviewing. I hesitated, said, “sorry Susan, can’t stop, dinner awaits” and walked on commenting to Joel that it was all in the presentation.
Poor Joel, embarrassed and speechless, asked, “what the hell were you up to?”

“Chill out Joel, just my three seconds of fame, ignoring a TV spot, ignoring Susan Graham, since I’m not famous, at least I’m unfamous.”

“You have problems Janet.”

“Yeah, I guess. But Joel, am I pretty? Am I good in bed? What shall we do after the opera, Jooeelll? What would you like to do with me tonight, Jooeelll?”

“Shush, woman, I’m getting a hard on.”

“Thank you Joel, it’s always nice to be called ‘woman‘.”

“C’mon Joel, lets go to the Grand Tier bar and have some champagne and watch the people come in.”

*****************

Later, seated waiting for the conductor and the National Anthem, I noted,
“Nice seats Joel, let me have the opera glasses, please.”

“OK but you hardly need them from here, row ‘L’ isn’t too bad is it?”

“ No, I just wanted to look at the cameras on their telescoping stands.”
“Hon, where shall we go after the performance, I would like to snack and drink before going home?”

Joel replied, “Well, Placido is in Washington, so that lets out his restaurant; how about O’Neals across the street? We might meet some friends there. We don‘t want to stay too late, I would like to…. when we…”

“Joel, you horny boy, I swear, you are hornier than me, and I’m the horniest hen in the house.”

“You made me that way, remember the week I spent in the chastity cage? I thought I would die of frustration. Anyway, you are half rooster.”

“I know, but in a few weeks things will be different. I see the doc, get jewels taken, some minor neck work and then I will be maybe three fourths female and my ever shrinking thingy will only be a memory. Seven months from now I take a trip to the Far East for SRS.”

“I can’t wait”, he said, “I understand the procedure is anything but trivial, painful with a long recovery time. But if there is anything I can do for you such as help with the dilation, just ask.”

“Oh crap, Joel, you just want to be the first in my new pussy.”

A gentleman in the row behind us said, “will you two speak louder, we can hardly hear this fascinating discussion.”

Joel replied, “Sorry. Later Jan. Quiet now here comes the conductor, we stand for the Anthem.”

At intermission, Joel called O’Neal’s for a reservation after the opera.

*********************

During the second act I surreptitiously stroked Joel’s thigh closer and closer to his groin grinning to myself as he squirmed to relieve his erection and readjust it in his briefs. He took my hand in his to stop me. Good. I liked having my hand held.
Nothing quite like exciting your lover in row ‘L’ at the MET during opening night.
It yields great memories. Good thing I was wearing a gaff, I got hot too.

After the opera we went across Broadway to O’Neal’s for a drink and snack where we discussed, quietly, some of the things we would do to each other.

“God, Janet, you are so hot in that silver dress, I’m reluctant to take it off you. Maybe I’ll put some silver chains on you as accents. Yes, a waist chain draping low over the hips with handcuffs locked on it, then I’ll help you to your knees. When you are on your knees, I’ll put handcuffs on your ankles so you can’t even get up. I’ll sit on your sofa, relax, while you do your usual best, sucking me to orgasmic oblivion. You know you are a world class sucker of cock and I adore you.”

I thought about this for a bit and replied, “Joel, I can hardly wait, my cock is twitching just thinking about it. Funny, Joel, seven months or so from now, my pussy will be twitching. Joel, are you going to switch loyalty from my ass to my pussy or give them both equal time?”

“Tough, very tough question, Jan, actually, I’ll split time amongst the three, don’t forget your world class mouth. You know, Jan, I might have to bring Roger with me to help out, after all, you are insatiable and will have three holes, two of which are already quite experienced. I have some cute ideas of how the two of us can handle you, ‘force’ you into some really strict bondage.”

I replied, “I like, I like“, and winked at him, grinning seductively. “Sounds good, Joel, now for your turn. I am going to tie you to the corners of the bed, tightly, and fuck your brains out, that is, fuck you out of your mind then I’m going to sit on your face until I have drained dry and…”

We finished our drinks, Joel paid the check (nice to be the woman) and we took a cab back downtown to my apartment.

Descending from the cab, we rushed with unseemly haste into my apartment to strip and fuck. But I did carefully hang my silver sheath in the closet, leaving on my bra, stockings and panties and heels of course. He carried me to bed, stripped my panties and gaff off, flipped my legs up, heels over his shoulders, lubed my ass, my anus, lubed his cock and without any further ado slammed his cock into my ass.

“Yeooeoeh! Joel, oh gaaawd, Joel, harder, faster, deeper, yeouah!!! Woosh, that was good. What do you do for an encore?”

“More of the same, ma petite, but first a collar, chains, and cuffs and you on your knees. By the time I chain you, I will be ready for another round.”

Loving that bound and helpless feeling, I presented my wrists to him, and my ankles, and my neck. What a lovely experience, bound and helpless by someone I could trust, trust with my life. Oh God, does it get any better? Well…yes…if I had a pussy.

“Joel, I think…that it might be fun….if you were to put a real chastity belt on me and take me out to a bar and let others dance with me and feel the belt on me. What would I say? I wonder? I could say that my boyfriend is so jealous that he makes me wear the belt to keep me from fucking the first man I see. ‘You see, I am a nymphomaniac and the only way he can control me is by making me wear a chastity’.”

“You’re crazy, Janet, it’s a fun thought but you really don’t want to get a reputation as a total nut.”

“Yeah, Joel, but I kinda like the idea of wearing a chastity. Would you play some kinda chastity game with me?”

“Janet, I will play any game you wish, so long as there is no harm to you, no risk; you are too precious but it might only be fair since you kept me in a chastity cage for a week. Meanwhile I am going to take advantage of your helpless state and let you suck me to an erection whereupon my sweet lady, I will roundly, royally fuck you with love, determination and affection. ”

“Joel, if I do buy a chastity, will you really play some sort of chastity restraint game with me?”

“Oh hell yes, anytime, but not anyplace….but lets get one, you wear it and we’ll go dancing and if it doesn’t hurt you we’ll boogie a little. The idea of you in a female chastity is most erotic and after SRS it will fit even better and the games will be even more fun.”

“Joelll, I saw a picture of an arm binder, it’s so erotic….I bought one….will you put it on me some time? Not now, Joel, I’m well chained; another time though Joeell.”

“Oh woman, you’re a sadist, I’ll think about that all night, I’ll have an erection all night; I’ll masturbate for hours.”

“Oh no Joeell! Stay here with me until you can’t get it up at all, then go home.”

He did. He could hardly get out of bed the next morning. I had fucked him and sucked him to a frazzle.

********************************

Tuesday after work, Roger called, told me that Joel filled him in their last date and the great fucking after the opening.
I wish Joel were more discreet about our affairs.

“Janet, since you like opera, how about attending Salome with me next Saturday and we can get hot watching the soprano doing the dance of the seven veils. I’m told she is really hot. And after the opera, we’ll go to my house, then dinner at Forlini’s, then back to my place for an evening of restraint?”

“OK, is it evening or matinee? I want to dress correctly.”

“Matinee, sweetie, heels no higher than four inches.”

“Sounds good, when will you pick me up?” It’s nice to be a woman, even only a part of a woman.

“About 11:30, snack at O’Neals, then the opera, then fuck, then dinner, then fuck fuck and fuck.”

“Looking forward to it, hon, ass’ll hurt but I’ll love it. And you do want to go to blown paradise, right?”

*********************

“God that was an awesome performance, that woman was really hot. Spread your legs, Janet, I want to suck you like you suck me”

“Oh please Roger, in a few months it won’t be there; I hope the new pussy will be as good as claimed by the docs.”

Roger sucked me to an erection; don’t have many of them any more, and then I came in his mouth, he drained me, I wilted, I brought him to rock hardness threw my legs over his shoulders, raised my ass, he lubed it, lubed himself, and wham!!!
wham!! bam!! and thank you mam as he let fly his pent up orgasm into my rectum.
He wilted, withdrew, cleaned us and we relaxed on the bed with a glass of wine.

“Janet, I’d like to put some restraint on you, OK?”

“Love it, Rog, but don’t damage the goods.”

He tied me with ropes in a simple way, he was just marking time until his erection grew again. He tied my wrists together in front of my waist then tied my arms together above my elbows behind my back, pulling my elbows as close together as possible, I whimpered a little, he liked that and pulled even tighter, I liked it too.
The cords were so tight I couldn’t move my hands so he enjoyed himself fondling my breasts and fingering my cock. It was so nice and I thought about how much nicer when my breasts had grown and my cock was now a real pussy.

“Roger, I am going in for surgery Monday, I would like either you or Joel to take me and then pick me up when I am released from the hospital.”

“OK, Jan, see you soon.”

Monday rolled around, Joel lost the coin toss and took me to the hospital, sweet thing and waited until I was back into the recovery room. When they let him in he kissed me and kissed me but I was too groggy to reciprocate. They kept me overnight because of the neck work, telling me to not say anything to anybody except the docs or nurses and then keep it to a minimum.

The next day Roger picked me up and took me home, helped me into my apartment, made me some chicken noodle soup, some bullion and tea. I wrote on a pad, ‘thank you, I can’t talk but I can wank you if you like’. He smiled, told me he would return next day to check on me.

A week later I was back to normal, actually an improved normal with my adam’s apple diminished and my voice raised and of course, my bits removed. I was now an official castrati, on my way to womanhood.

Chapter Four

The boys both came to the hospital to take me home; they were so nice -- so solicitous -- I couldn’t wait to reward them for their kindness so I made drinks and an apple pie for them. We chatted, kissed, I stroked them a little -- didn’t feel up to anything really strenuous. We listened to some music and when they felt I could be left alone, they left. I went to bed, rested for the remainder of the day.

Since neither of them were marriage material I decided to go prowling next week. I expected that by that time my neck, voice and castration would be completely healed.

I tried a new bar; it also had a dance floor. I had dressed well as usual, this time a black satin sheath dress, décolleté, nicely showing my growing breasts, pearl choker for accent, pearl bracelets, black suede pumps, four inch heels. As usual, I had my hair, nails done; as usual I was a hot number, looking for fun, prowling for men.
I walked into the bar, saw a couple of hot chicks at the bar and sat down next to them.

“Evening girls, any action yet?”

“No, and this is our turf, find your own!”

“Sorry girls, didn’t realize you were in business.” I took another stool farther away from the hookers. They were good looking, a little on the hard side but I guess that the ‘business’ can do that to you, make you a little cynical. Funny though, we were looking for almost the same thing.
A fellow walked in, sat next to me and struck up a conversation.
“Good evening miss, may I sit here or are you saving it for someone?”

“No, I’m just out for the evening, my regular guys are occupied elsewhere, I guess, neither of them called me so I thought I’d go out alone.”

“Forgive my being bold, but you won’t be alone long, you are gorgeous, in case you don’t know it.”

“Thanks, yeah, I know, I’m a hot chick. But -- I have a problem -- I’m looking for a spouse, a very special kind of spouse -- an unmarried one.”

“I do understand, and yes to be up front about it, I am single, never even been married.”

“I see. So you travel the bar scene also -- any satisfaction? Does it work?”

“Well, I do meet people, lots, but not the right one yet. Mostly I’m just having fun meeting new people.

And you?”

“Same, I go out to meet people, have fun, dance, drink a bit -- but I am hoping to marry when and if I find the right guy.”

“You intrigue me. What do you do for a living? I’m sure you’re not in the same profession as the girls down the bar”

“No, I’m not, and they asked me to move away from them, I guess they didn’t like the competition. I’m a software engineer, specializing in IT.”

“Forgive me again, but you the most freaking beautiful software engineer I ever met.”

“You are forgiven and thank you.”

“Buy you a drink?”

“Sure, thanks. Dance?”, I replied

“Lets.”
“Ah, a tango, do you tango?”, I asked.

“Yes, in fact I am a dance teacher, specializing in Latin but I do anything. I had ballet training but ballet is such a brutal profession that I decided to do ballroom instead. I do dance at the MET during ballroom sequences. I have danced during the ballroom scene in Fledermaus and a few others.”

“That’s great but does it earn you a living?”

“Oh no, but I have resources. My family is well off, they subsidize me, provide my housing, an allowance; as long as I am doing something productive, they are content to help me.”

“That’s really nice that you have a family like that. I am somewhat estranged from my family, they live in Iowa, a big farming family, farming country. I love them but our philosophies are rather poles apart -- they are ultra conservative bible thumpers who feel that if a person is -- say -- different, it is gods punishment. I am what I am, I didn‘t choose to be what I am, but I believe that I am a decent human being and only ask that I am accepted as such.”

“Oh wow! I think I understand. My family is well to do Republican but I am very fortunate in that they are quite proud of my performing abilities -- I act a bit as well as dance. Consequently they don’t push me to join the bank or some such.”

“Hey! What’s your name? I’m Janet?”

“Kevin.”

We danced. He was one damn good dancer, his leads are perfect, I had no trouble following him. We tangoed, rumbaed, waltzed, yes I know, a really odd bar but I loved it. The rumba is such a sexy dance. We did a slow rumba, almost a bolero, gazing into each other’s eyes. It didn’t take much for me to start desiring him. I folded myself closely into him, the dance became very erotic, oh yeah, my eyes glazed over, I held him tighter, he me. Oh god, I could have fucked him on the dance floor.

“Janet, you are one hot dancer, one hot woman. I hope to get to know you better.”

“Me too Kevin, I love dancing with you. Could we go to the ballroom sometime where we can really hog the floor?”

“Love too. Lets exchange tel nums, arrange a date.”

“OK, Kevin, you said that you danced during Fledermaus, I went to Salome not too long ago. I thought that Karita was superb -- actually they were all good, but she was hot.”

“Yeah, I saw that performance also, at the Saturday matinee, were you there then?”

“Oh yes, row ‘L’, good seats. I was there with a friend.”

“Guy, girl?”

“A guy, I do have a few friends.”

“Of course, I shouldn’t have asked but a beauty such as yourself is rarely without an escort.”

“I know, I know, it’s just soooo improper for me to be out alone without a coterie of adoring followers.”

“You’re cute. I like you -- no, I really like you!”

“Wellll Kevin, I kinda like you too, lets dance, I want to feel your body close to mine.”

“Oh Jesus! Woman, you are an extraordinary lady, a vision of humor and beauty.

Janet, do you like the ballet? If you do, I’ll take you and if you like I’ll try to introduce you to some of my friends. Even though I gave up performing they are still friends;. We’ll have a good time and after the ballet we might join up with some of the dancers for some drinks and snacks.”

“I’d love to, just name it, my schedule is fairly open.”

“Really, I thought you would have a full schedule, have you been away or something?”

“Ah yes, in fact, I was ‘hors de combat’ for a while, minor hospital stuff.”

“Nothing serious I hope?”

“No.”

“Lets dance again, I want to rub you during the rumba.”, I said as I gazed at him under seductively lowered eyelids, diverting him from further questions about the hospital.

We returned to the bar, started new drinks and continued to chat when lo and behold Roger and Joel entered the bar, glanced at me, looked away and whispered to each other.

Kevin noted and asked, “Do those guys know you?”

I said, “Yes, good friends, I’ll introduce you.”

“Rog, Joel, c’mon over I want to introduce you. You guys have a lot in common. Rog, Joel, this is Kevin. Kevin, Roger and Joel, good friends of mine and also lovers of the arts. In fact they took me to the opening and to Salome. Kevin is a professional dancer. We danced and he is really great. In fact, guys, they are doing another rumba and I want Kevin to dance with me and we’ll show you how great we dance together.”

“Kevin”, I whispered as we danced, “I want us to dance really hot together, good pelvic grinds, I want it to look really hot for the boys.”

“OK, my pleasure, the hotter the better, but I don’t like playing tease games so you can aggravate your friends.”

“No problem, we know each other quite well. They will appreciate the sight -- and the thought.”

I called to Joel, “Joel, can you get a table so the four of us can sit down, I’d like a salad?”

“Sure”, he said, “shortly.”

After the dance we gathered at a table, I ordered, the guys ordered, the meeting was a little strained since none of the fellows knew what has going on between me and Kevin so I thought I’d break the ice a little.
“Roger, Kevin not only dances but has danced during ballroom scenes at the MET and we were chatting about attending the ballet when you and Joel walked in. I just met Kevin tonight, he was kind enough to join me at the bar and keep me company. It also kept away some characters. I appreciated his company. Especially when I learned that he was a dancer, you know how much I love to dance.”

I was sure that Roger and Joel would get the message since we had become friendly after some intimate rubbing on the dance floor.

“Roger, they’re doing a tango, would you please?” As I rose to dance with him.
As we danced, Roger asked me what the story was with Kevin.

“Rog, I told you, we just met, he’s a nice guy and neither you nor Joel has any interest in me beyond sex. I am looking for a husband.”

“Have you told him about…?”

“Of course not, we just met and I would like to handle it myself. By the way, I haven’t heard from either of you for a couple of weeks. Having fun?”

“No, we’ve been collaborating on a project at my place. It has to do with some B sex and we’d like you to join us for some fun.”

“Love to but keep it quiet, I want to explore this new relationship and see where it goes. Kevin has potential, he is nice, athletic, family has money -- he could be the guy.”

“OK, but either Joel or I will call; we want to play with you this week if possible.”

“Sounds like fun, please call, but Kevin and I are going to make a date for the ballet.”

Later, I decided it was time to go home. I asked the three of them if they would care to escort me home and stay for a coffee. Without question they all volunteered and we left. I had Joel on one side, Kevin on the other with Roger bringing up the rear.
I made coffee for them and we chatted for a while. I was sure that they were all jockeying for a chance to be the last to leave. I enjoyed that game for a while and then sent them all out together after Kevin and I agreed on a date for the ballet.
Joel promised to call about a get together during the week. I knew what it was about and my cock twitched just wondering about what the boys had planned.

Joel called Tuesday and asked if I would join them at the bar then at Roger’s place on Wednesday since they had some interesting plans for the three of us involving some new furniture and ‘stuff’. He didn’t specify the ‘stuff’.
I demurred, suggesting that if the evening were too strenuous, I might not be able to go to the ballet with Kevin on Saturday.
I suggested that we make it Sunday -- we could have breakfast somewhere and then have all day to play. He liked the idea of all day play and agreed to Sunday.

******************

Kevin picked me up for the ballet, evening performance. I prepared myself accordingly, dressing reasonably elegantly in a red sheath, red sandals and appropriate accessories. The ballet --Raymonda -- was great, danced by a traveling group from the Kirov ballet. It was like staged foreplay, without a climax. I just drooled over that guy’s muscles; Kevin favored the ballerina of course. That was good, I was hoping Kevin would be a normal horny heterosexual. He treated me that way; I had hopes for this relationship.

After the ballet we crossed Broadway and settled in at O’Neals for a salad and drinks and happily enough met some of his dance friends. I could kill for their bodies.

Three drinks later, I was ready for sex with Kevin, wondered if oral would do and if it would not be too soon. Does one really suck cock on the first date in polite society?
I figured that I would let him take the lead and use the old ‘time of the month’ excuse for offering a substitute. Most men would faint at the idea of getting blown on a first date. Well, lets see.

Eventually we left after exchanging tel nums with some of his friends. We took a cab back downtown to my place and I invited Kevin in. I made coffee, laced it with some brandy and we cuddled on the sofa, kissed, gently at first -- exploringly -- then with increasing passion -- tongues twirling, hugging tightly.

He caressed a breast, I didn’t resist, I turned, said, “unzip me Kevin -- unhook my bra.” I slipped my bra off and with my back to him he fondled both breasts, I sighed, pressed back against him, tilted my head back for a kiss -- we kissed.

I turned toward him saying, “Oh god Kevin, I’m so hot, I want you but damn it it’s that time of the month. Would you mind if I give head? I tried it before, I do it pretty well.”

His jaw dropped, he gasped, said, “Oh my god, I would love it.”

“OK Kevin, drop your trousers and briefs, I’ll get a warm washcloth and a condom.”

“Why a condom”, he asked.

“Well Kevin we have not yet discussed personal things such as HIV, STD. We should not take anything for granted until we know better.”

“Use it if you wish but I assure you that I am totally clean, in fact I give blood regularly because of my special blood type and they test my blood each time I donate and I donated last week and I have not had any sexual activity since then.”

“OK Kevin, we’ll do without; that pleases me since I much prefer the feel and taste not ruined by rubber or latex. I’ll be right back.”

I returned moments later with a washrag, Kevin had stripped off his trousers and briefs and had sat back down with his legs spread with the one eyed monster gathering strength from anticipation. I gently washed his cock and eagerly addressed myself to the task of blowing him out of his mind. If I was going to suck his cock, I wanted to be the best. I had seen many videos of oral sex with world class porn actresses and men knew what to expect and I wanted to deliver.

Judging from Kevin’s vocal outbursts, moans, gasps, and cries of joy, I pleased him well. When he came, he spurted as though there was no tomorrow; he filled my mouth, I swallowed and he filled it again. I swear, he had been saving it all week just for me.

“My god Janet, you are incredible, that was wonderful. Thank you, thank you darling lady, sweet lady!”

“Oh, Kevin, you were really loaded for bear, two mouths full, wow!”
“Kevin, zip me up please. Some more coffee?”

“Sure, and if you give me a little time we could do it again.”

“Oh Kevin, you guys never get enough do you?”

“Of you, Janet, one could never get enough.”

“Flatterer”

A half hour passed, Kevin’s cock revived and we did it again. I kept sucking on it until it was little more than a worm.
“It’s had it Kevin, it’s dead, really dead -- time to go home”

“Could I stay the night? After that I think we know each other”

“No Kevin, I have a breakfast date tomorrow. How about next week sometime?”

Having agreed on a future date, we kissed goodnight. I just prayed that I did not overplay my hand by having sex on the first date. I really did want it though.

Sunday morning rolled around, I dressed for a breakfast outing with Roger and Joel, eagerly anticipating some bondage games with them at Roger’s place. We dined at a local restaurant, they paid the bill (nice to be the desired one) and we walked over to Roger’s house, a very nice three story building. He converted the third story into a bondage play room. Some people call it a dungeon but our attitudes and practices define it as a play room. We don’t hurt each other -- intentionally -- but rigorous bondage play is what we like. I really like being bound, chained, restrained by my playmates and of course we fuck like rabbits or mink or whatever.
I had never been there so they gave my the grand tour. I saw two kinds of cross, bondage tables, stocks, chains, pulleys, handcuffs, leg irons, you name it, I think they had it.
Roger told me that since he and Joel had found a great BD partner in me they proceeded to finish his third floor into a play are for me specially.

“Well guys, I hope you aren’t disappointed but you know that at the end of a good restraint session is some good fucking. I hope you won’t disappoint me and just for that I did the ol’ enema thing this morning and I am sweet and clean and ready.”

They introduced me to a new bondage bench they had just completed. By lying on it with my knees on lower padded boards I could comfortably rest while awaiting my lovers’ attention. My ass projected out and up for easy entry and my head was at sucking level for someone at the other end. They had cuffs positioned at different places for different modes of restraint.

“Are you ready, Janet?” Joel asked.

“Oh boy am I ready!”

We all stripped, I laid down on the bench. Those clever guys had built a great padded affair, so comfy, so ready for fucking. They strapped my legs down, strapped my body to the bench and cuffed my wrists to the support legs. I was now totally helpless -- I loved it -- a feeling of total acceptance, total submission; I waited, rested, anxious, I ground my pelvis against the bench, generated a nice erection -- in spite of my female hormones.

They flipped a coin, Joel lubed my anus, his cock and entered my ass. Roger came to my head, pulled my head back by my hair, I opened my mouth and I sucked, happily, willingly, joyfully. You can’t imagine the thrill of having those two lovers of mine thrusting in me at the same time. They developed a rhythm, one in, one out, one in, one out and on and on until Joel came in my ass, filling my rectum with his ejaculate. Roger took more time -- slow and leisurely was his preference.

When Roger finally filled my mouth with his first effort, he let me swallow and I relaxed for a bit while they sat and contemplated the next step.

“What do you think Joel? Shouldn’t we just switch while she is strapped down?”

“Yeah Rog, lets just switch places and see how much longer it takes to cum this time.”

“Hey guys, don’t I have anything to say about this?”

“Oh hell no, you’re strapped down, our sex slave, we’ll decide.” Says Joel.

“Yeah, I’ll take the front end Rog, you the rear -- she needs more lube though.”

Joel came around to me and started to have me suck.

“No Joel, damn you, wash that thing before you put it in my mouth.” I hollered.
“I’ll bite it off if it’s dirty!”

He washed and they both started reaming me again. Oh fuck!! I was in sixth heaven -- seventh would wait until I had a proper pussy. I dream of the games with a proper pussy; I could stand and have one of them in each hole, thrusting away -- what joy. I could also be the center of a horizontal sandwich of sex -- oh god!

They unstrapped me from the bench, tied my wrists together and hoisted me a few inches off the floor. I yowled, “It hurts, guys, fuck me quick!”

Joel took my ankles, spread my legs, pulled them over his shoulders, presenting my anus to his ready prick, aimed directly at my hole -- and -- wham, in it went.

I yowled again, “faster Joel, fuck me faster, my arms hurt -- my wrists hurt. Hold me, take the load off my arms baby, I’ll wrap my legs around you.” He came quickly, the erotic position brought him to it.

Then Roger took a turn at my opened ass but he got me from behind, lifting me by my thighs, ramming his ready and randy cock into me.

I just hung there, waiting for him to finish, I was getting sore by then. They let me down, untied me, thanked me, kissed, cuddled me, carried me to a large flat bondage table covered with padded vinyl, laid me down, told me to rest while they prepared for the next position. I just lay there resting -- I had been so royally fucked I was in a state of bliss (with a somewhat sore ass).

We took time out for some refreshment, a little water was all I needed.
They came back, put leather cuffs on my ankles and wrists, linked the four cuffs to a large ring suspended from above and hoisted the ring, pulling me up by my arms and legs putting me in a standard hog-tie position.

“Well guys, how are you going to get to my ass now?”

“Oh we’re not going to -- we’re going to take turns having you suck us off.”

One after the other and then again they made me suck and suck until their balls looked like prunes. Now my mouth was getting sore and I swallowed so much cum I wouldn’t need dinner. They lowered me, unhooked me from the hog-tie ring, took my cuffs off and let me stretch and relax.

They scurried around gathering ropes for the next game. They explained that they wanted to take a video of me tying myself up, completely making myself helpless.

I objected, “No way fellows are you going have my face on film, tape or anything else.”

“She’s right Joel, she must be totally unidentifiable, face totally concealed. H’m, suppose we use a full face mask or better yet, a helmet with eye holes, nose hole and for added fun, a big mouth hole.”

“Good idea Roger.”

“The idea, Janet is that you are home waiting for your love, husband, or just the neighborhood stud and you are tying yourself up to immobilize yourself, presenting yourself to his pleasure -- waiting in the living room.”

“For the first time as a sample run through, we will give you directions so you can do it yourself.”

“First dress in bra, panties, thigh highs and fuck me pumps with ankle straps. Lock on your steel bondage collar and hang the handcuff keys from one of the rings on the collar. Then sit on the sofa, pull your knees up so you can tie your ankles tightly together. The pretty white cords are laid out beside you in order of use.

Now tie your legs above the knees, then tie the rope with the handcuffs knotted onto it around your waist, tying it in front of yourself with the cuffs behind you. Now gag yourself with the ball gag and finally cuff your hands behind you. You should now be unable to escape -- unable to release yourself. You are now hot with anticipation -- waiting to be fucked. You now just wait until he arrives. You wonder what his expression will be when he sees what you have done for him -- making yourself totally his -- totally submitted to him.”

I followed their instructions, erotically displaying myself as I tied myself for their video camera. They entertained themselves with the helpless me by tossing me over the sofa back, pulling my panties down and taking turns fucking me in the ass. I could only make muted moans and groans and a few squeals with my mouth gagged. They left me there dripping while they relaxed and refreshed. Finally they took pity on me, removed the gag, gave me something to drink and then proceeded to make me suck them both off. Haven’t had fun like that in a while!!!

We rested again and Roger replayed the video of my self bondage.
We critiqued it, noted some flaws and places for improvement and decided to repeat. We also discussed some variations of the self bondage -- self presentation idea.

We used an voice over variation in which her friend (lover, dom) called her and over the speaker phone telling her in detail step by step how to restrain herself.

“Joel, suppose we had a video link where the couple would interact by video?”

“Great idea, Jan, we’ll think about it. Sounds great!”

“Roger”, said Joel, “Lets use the head harness routine now, I think she’s rested.”

“Yeah, OK Joel, Janet, in this routine you will wear a leather bra and briefs, fishnet stockings and ballet boots. Joel and I will help you put on the boots.”

My cock quivered with anticipation. They helped me dress -- they loved it-all that opportunity to fondle me -- I loved it -- relished it -- got hot -- big hard on.

Joel said, “Cut it out Jan or we’ll chain your cock to the floor.”

Dressed now, they put a head harness on me, complete with bit gag.
A chain was wrapped around my waist with cuffs locked to the chain. This would be the last step in my restraint. They explained that for the video, I would put the harness on, put the waist chain on, hang the key to the cuffs from my harness, and then hook my harness to a chain hanging from the ceiling, finally immobilizing myself by putting my wrists in the cuffs. I would then just stand there waiting for someone to release me.

“Janet, put on your mask before we start shooting.”

“Now Jan, stand on your spot in front of the camera and start to put on your restraints. When you you’re finished, try to walk a little to show how you are restricted to just a few feet of movement also showing off your ballet boots and your ballet walk.”

Oh well, I did -- did it all. I strapped on the head harness with its under chin, around the neck, back of the head, over the head set of straps, put the bit gag in my mouth, hooked my harness to the chain hanging from the ceiling, the chain around my waist and finally cuffed my wrists totally immobilizing myself -- just able to take a few steps to keep my balance.

The boys put on their own masks, came to me and fondled me, taking my top and bottom off leaving me almost naked save my stockings and boots. They walked around me, teasing me, tickling me, fingering my anus, my cock, making me hard, chuckling at my frustration -- teasing -- teasing.

“OK Janet, one more video. Put on these suspension cuffs and follow me.” sternly commanded Joel.

I meekly followed him to a point below two chains hanging from the ceiling and a step ladder positioned below them. One look and I knew what to do. I stepped up onto the ladder, hooked my suspension cuffs to the chains and kicked the step ladder away from me leaving me hanging-helpless. I was absolutely helpless. I hung there quietly waiting for rescue. The guys took predictable advantage of my plight by fondling my breasts, tickling me-one of them actually sucked my cock. Finally they lifted me, unhooked me, and let me down.

I had enough. I was exhausted. I had been fucked and fucked and I had sucked and sucked. I was in a state of bliss; fucked bliss. I rested a while then dressed, putting a tampax in my ass, a kotex between my legs, two pairs of panties and the rest of my clothes.

They took me home in a cab, helped me to my apartment, hovered over me solicitously, put me to bed and left. The next day I went to work still keeping a tampax in my rectum to sop up leakage -- my anus was barely closed. I walked spraddle legged to work Monday. Roger called me at work asking me how I was feeling. I told him I needed at least a week before trying that again. Believe it or not we made a date for the next Sunday.

************

Kevin called me midweek asking for a date. He had a few things in mind -- symphony, another ballet, opera -- all good exciting venues I loved so dearly. I willingly accepted after checking my schedule. We agreed on the symphony at Avery Fisher Hall.

“Janet, dinner before or snack later?”

“Uh, actually both, sandwich and salad before and something equally light after the performance. Then coffee at my place, OK?”

He agreed, picked me up at the appointed time, we took a cab uptown -- I stroked his thigh, he mine. We looked at each other -- smiling -- wondering.
The symphony was Mahler’s; great of course but better was exciting my date by stroking his leg and rubbing my leg against his. I think I was asking for it -- for something.

We went downtown for our after the symphony snack then coffee at my place accompanied by some serious necking, kissing, cuddling.
Naturally one thing leads to another and Kevin proposed sex -- real sex.

“Janet, the last time we dated you did an awesome oral on me -- I loved it.
You are the greatest but this time I would like to return the favor with… you know… intercourse.”

“Kevin darling, you mean you want to fuck me?”

“Not to put too fine a point on it, yes, exactly. I would love to fuck you.”

“Kevin. Sit. Now is the time for truth, truth and nothing but the truth.”

“You scare me Janet.”

“Kevin, I like you, no, I believe that I love you, no, I am sure that I love you but I have a confession. I am transgendered, a woman born in a male body. I have been on the road to womanhood for some time now. I have been taking hormones, and been castrated. A few short months from now I will undergo SRS, sex reassignment and I will then be a functioning woman; I will have my various documents changed to reflect my actuality. Well?”

“Well!!!”

“Well? Nothing else to say?”

“What else can one say? I am speechless -- I never suspected -- that’s how convincing you are. You’re beautiful, charming, witty, cultured, educated. I like you, I want to continue seeing you. Tell me, what do the doctors say about functionality and pregnancy -- I doubt that you could become pregnant.”

“Quite right, Kevin, I could never get preggies, but the docs tell me that my vagina should be functional although it would require lubing and constant attention -- constant attention can be
lots of fun. Will you will continue to date me? I want you to. It will make me soooo happy if you will Kevin. If you like… there are things we can do… head, I know you like that… anal if you wish.”

“This is quite a shock, Janet, but I have come to care you a great deal; lets continue to date, lets wait until the final surgery -- see how it comes out (no pun intended). Whether marriage is in or out remains to be seen. I know that you intend to marry. Yes, Janet this really has been quite a shock…
I will need some time to reflect, consider.”

“Yes, Kevin I want to marry -- I want a home, a husband, a stable normal life. You know how much I love sex, we have common interests, I have a good income, you also, I assume. We could be a pair but I understand and I am more than happy to wait until after SRS. In fact depending on the laws wherever we might marry, we might have to be of separate sexes so ultimately I will have to have all the necessary documents changed into my new name.”

“Kevin, if you wish, we can do anal.” I suggested hopefully.

“No Jan, if it’s all the same to you, I prefer your fantastic mouth.” He replied.

No sooner said than done. I almost tore has pants off trying to get to his cock. It sprang forth lustily, ready and very willing. Oh God! Was I hot and thankful that he didn’t barf and run. I sucked as though my life depended upon it. He came and then came again. We rested, revived and I sucked him again and again until his prick resembled a little worm shrinking inside itself. Oh were we happy!

“Kevin, tell me sweet, do you like erotic games? Would it please you to tie my wrists and make me helpless? Would you like to make me kneel in front of you with me wrists tied together and force me to suck you cock again? Would you like to see me helpless and at your mercy -- at your service
at your cocksucking service?”

“Janet, you are so hot -- so freaking hot. Oh god, would I love to tie your wrists -- I’ll hold your head while I fuck your face -- while you suck me to bliss and back. I’ll tie your ankles to keep you on your knees. You’ll stay there until I have been sucked and sucked.”

“May I do that Janet, may I tie your wrists and ankles?”

“Yes Kevin, yes! Yes! Yes!”

And he did did did do that and all of that and by the time we were both tired it was three in the morning and he had to stay the night and we did it again in the morning before breakfast. I was sooo fucking happy!

Kevin and I continued to date -- many times a week -- and had lots of sex.
We finally ventured into anal -- I didn’t tell him I had an experienced anus -- he loved it. After the first time, we did it more frequently.

***********

Some months later.

“Kevin, this is so great, I can’t wait until I have a real pussy. Then can we have fun, switching from one hole to another. Kevin, I’m going in for SRS next week. Wish me luck! Will you take me to the hospital and stay with me until they throw you out?”

“Sure, and then I’ll check on you and take you home when you’re ready.”

“Kevin, it may be a long, slow recovery. I’ll tell you more when I have instructions from the doctors. Will you wait for me?”

“Janet, I. Will. Wait. I love you. I will wait for you. I make no promise except that I will wait for you.”

When I started the journey I said:
‘Some day, I will stand in front of a man and he will look at me as I look at him and love will pass between us, unsaid but real ... some day ... someday ... the right man, if there is one in the world ... for someone like me. There will be no doubts, no questions and I’ll be happy, blissfully happy, and as obedient as a child.’
Could Kevin be the man?

End

 © Janet Baker 2008