Looks like he's been dropped in it by his girlfriend again...   The Floral Tales Part 8 By J Morose

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Introduction

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

Part 8 – Back to reality

From part 7...

Anya, hearing that Kev was at the door, finished up quickly and rushed downstairs to see him. She burst into the kitchen, wearing only a black bathrobe, smiling. Kev thought she looked gorgeous like that, without all the makeup or gothy stuff, her long hair wrapped in a towel like a turban.

“Hi, Kev, how's my favourite girl this morning!”

Anya's house, Monday, 7:50AM

“Girl!”, both Kev and Anya's father chorused. The look on Kev's face indicated his displeasure.

“Is there something your not telling me, Kevin?” Anya's father had his inquisitive face on.

“It's nothing!” Quipped Kev.

“Well, I think you looked lovely on Saturday!” chimed Anya, “It was a right, good night too.”

“So, what's this 'girl' thing?” Anya's father was curious, not demanding in his demeanour, which put Kev less on the defensive, but still highly embarrassed.

“Well...” Anya regaled her father with a sanitised and edited version of last Saturday night.

“Wow!” said her father, “Any pictures?”

“Will have when they are developed.”

Kev went beetroot red. He was now sure he would never hear the end of this.

Anya's mother joined the conversation at that point, upon entering the kitchen.

“Dave, it's like having a younger you about the place.” She smiled at Kev, “Don't be embarrassed, dear, you should have heard of some of the things Dave used to get up to when he was younger.”

“Yeah, I was really way-out.”

“Like that time your mother had the local vicar and his wife over. You hated them...”

“Yeah, always telling folk what to do, this a sin, that a sin, basically everything enjoyable was an affront to decency and to God...”

“So tell them what you did,” Anya's mother had developed a large smile.

“So to wind the stuffy old bugger up, I went into the front room wearing one of your mother's dresses.”

“You had a beard and your chest hair was hanging over the front of the neck too! Bloody hilarious!”

“Nearly gave him a heart attack!” Anya's father’s expression, seemed to indicate that he was well pleased with himself and enjoyed the memory.

Kev was somewhat reassured. At least last Saturdays Floral would not cause ructions in this household. He had a new found respect for Anya's parents. He just wished his own were as easy going as them.

Kev sat and listened intently while they ate breakfast. Afterwards, Anya came up to him and gave him a hug.

“Oh, got something for you,” Kev rummaged in his bag and produced a carrier bag which he presented to Anya. “Believe these are yours...”

“Thanks,” she took the bag and opened it--wrinkling her nose she said—“At least you could have washed them!”

“With my mother gurning at me, no way!” (Gurning, a pastime of a small town called Egremont in Northern England, where people compete to pull the ugliest face possible).

“You can tell me about it later. Still get your dinner at 12:30?”

“Yup, meet you at the usual place?” enquired Kev.

“Okay,” Anya, smiled and gave him a hug.

Kev took this as his cue to depart, so grabbing his bag and lid, he made his way to college.

Outside Southport College – Monday, 12:35

Kev waited patiently for Anya to turn up. He sat quietly on the low brick wall that surrounded the college property; a popular meeting place. Other students were similarly ensconced, chatting away merrily in their own groups. Kev thought back on the morning. He was happy for the distraction of college, his lectures were interesting for a change, he was doing electricity and magnetism in Physics and maths was easy as usual. Luckily for him, none of his classmates were rockers, which in this instance, was a massive bonus, as he did not have to relive umpteen questions, jibes and so on about the previous Floral.

Kev looked once more at the road that led from the town centre and caught sight of Anya walking down the road, accompanied by Freya.

'Damn!' He thought, 'Wanted a bit of time alone with Anya'. It was usual that except for dates and the like, Anya and Freya were virtually inseparable.

He waved as the girls approached and they waved back. “Hi, Kev!” they chorused.

Greetings and hugs duly exchanged, Kev and the girls decided on grabbing something from the local butty shop (sandwich shop) and going to find a quiet spot to eat and talk.

Food was duly procured, Kev opting for the chicken fillet, salad on white, no butter of course and HP sauce; the condiment of champions. The girls bought similar and off they walked through the town centre towards the promenade, passing shops on their way.

The girls of course, could not let the opportunity to window shop pass them by, much to Kev's chagrin. His stock response when queried about an outfit in the window was “Looks okay,” did not bother the girls; used to it as they were.

There appeared to be a slightly different feel to their questions this time though, as though they were trying to discern Kev's taste in clothing.

“Kev, don't you think this one looks sweet?” Anya pointed towards a dress in the window, some flowery thing.

“Looks okay,” Kev's automatic response kicked in, then he though on, “but I can't see you wearing owt like that...”

She smiled mysteriously, “Not looking at it for me.”

“Look, you would look good wearing anything..” put in Kev.

Anya smiled. Freya chipped in, “Yeah, but what do you think of the style, Kev?”

“Dunno, 's a dress.”

The conversation went on and on for the next fifteen minutes, with Kev being shown skirts, dresses, blouses and shoes in various shops on the way. Finally, he’d had enough.

“What is it with you two? You've never consulted me about your clothes before?”

“Just thought you might be interested...” smiled Anya, “C'mon, lets sit here and talk.” She gestured toward a nearby bench.

They sat, “Talk about what?”

“Well, about you liking girls clothes,” said Freya.

“We know all about it,” Anya had her mysterious face on again.

“What!” Kev was outraged and made to stand up. Anya put her arm around him, preventing him leaving. “I don't like...”

“Look, we know all about people like you,” said Freya. “We did a class about gender and stuff at school a few years ago.”

“What, boys?” griped Kev. Anya and Freya had gone to the local girls’ school, while Kev had attended a private school that was all boys. Kev had never received much in the way of sex education, it being a Catholic school and all, just concentrating on the biology of reproduction. It would appear that Anya and Freya had received a more comprehensive education.

“Boys who like to be girls..” said Anya, “they call it gender identity disorder or something...”

“I don't want to be a girl!” Kev was getting a little defensive now. Glaring at Anya he said, “I was wondering why you dressed me up, now I know. You think I want to be a girl.”

“Well, don't you?” queried Anya, looking slightly worried.

Kev was not a happy bunny at all, this was going all wrong. He thought that he should just be the blokey bloke and act all masculine and macho, as that was what every lad he associated with did. Bravado and boasts and macho stuff. He had never heard of this 'gender identity' stuff and things he did at home were private-just things he did.

“No! What the fuck? No! No! Don't wanna be no girl...” he was getting flustered.

Seeing the panic in Kev, Freya decided to let things go for now. She tried diffusing the situation. “Okay, Kev, sorry, we got it wrong, just calm down.”

“Don't wanna be a girl...” mumbled Kev.

“Sorry.” Anya gave him a peck on the cheek, “C'mon, lets eat..”

They sat on the bench for a little while, not talking much as they ate their food. Kev was looking sullen and the girls were looking concerned for him.

Kev's house, Monday, 6:03pm

“Kevin, phone,” he heard his mother call to him from the hall. He was sitting in his room, brooding and listening to some of his Dad's old records; 'Next' by the sensational Alex Harvey Band was currently being played.

“Coming,” he charged down the stairs and grabbed the receiver,“Hi.”

“Hiya Kev,” it was Wanger. “Going to role play tonight?”

“Tonight?” he’d forgotten about this.

“Yep, you know, at Wossisname's mates place.”

“Oh shit! Yeah, okay, summat to do.”

“Seeya at mine in about thirty...”

“Seeya,” Kev put the phone down.

He informed his mother about going out, and had the usual inquisition about where he was going and what he was going to be doing. He scoffed his dinner at his usual rapid pace and got ready to leave.

Sitting in his room, pulling on his boots, he remembered what Wanger told him he had done on at the Floral regarding Wossisname's friend. He had already committed to go and he did not want to let Wanger down, as he would not go if Kev decided to not attend.

“Shite!” he said, to no one in particular.

Wanger's house, 7:10pm

Kev poked his head around Wanger's bedroom door.

“Hi, how's it hanging?”

“Straight down. Come in, just getting ready.” Wanger was sorting out his lack of hairstyle, which currently closely resembled a giant fur-ball. “So, how's it with you?” he inquired.

“Don't ask.” Kev was still not happy. “Just don't bloody ask.”

“That good? Look, forget about Saturday, yer spacker, just get over it!”

“Easy for you to say, mong. It wasn't you in girl's stuff...”

“Okay!” Wanger was losing his cool a bit, “You rolled a six on the making an arse of yourself table, but who hasn't? Nobody'll give a fuck by next week..”

“That's what you think?” Kev was exasperated. Even his best mate was now getting on his case. “People don't think you wanna be a girl!”

“What?” The look of surprise on Wanger's face was replaced by sniggering laughter. “Where the actual fuck, did they dredge that one from?”

“Well...” Kev was mumbling now, head down, “Sorta told me mum that to shock her and get her to leave me alone.”

“Fuck and shite, man!” Wanger was laughing openly now. “You don't half know how to wind folk up. How did they take it?”

Kev was reassured by his friend's dismissal of what he just said. “Well, put it this way, I don't think I'll be honourable number one son for a while...”

“That good? Look, the force is strong within you.” Wanger gestured with his hand, wiggling it in the air in front of Kev.

“May the force be with you...” The conversation was getting more typical, which relieved Kev greatly.

“And also with you,” Kev's Catholic schooling providing that misquoted response.

With that, they set off to the role-play evening, cadging a lift off
Wanger's mum.

Outside Wossisname's mate's house, Monday, 7:48pm

They stood outside the door. Wanger had to almost push Kev up the path to the house. Kev felt more than a little concerned, especially from what Wanger told him about the Floral.

Wanger picked up on Kev's reticence and said, “Look yer mong, it'll be right!”

With that, Wanger knocked on the door. It opened shortly and Wossisname poked his head around the door.

“Hi, come in, just getting set up.”

They were shown to the back room. There was a table with various bits of paper, pens and opened tins of beer on it. There were two rocker / biker types sat already at the table.

“Hi, this is Grammy and Wanger.” Said Wossisname, “You met Chunder at the Floral and this is Lozzock.”

The one known as 'Chunder' was a large guy, six foot of biker, jeans, black tee shirt, leather jacket with denim jacket sans sleeves covered in patches and various other ornamentation. He had a beard and a huge grin, “Hi, grab a seat and a beer,” he said.

'Lozzock' was a thin, wiry bloke, just shy of six foot and sported a 'Piston broke' tee shirt. “Welcome to the game, dudes..”

Kev and Wanger sat round the table. “Cheers,” said Wanger, throwing off his jacket and grabbing a beer.

“So,” inquired Kev, how did you two get your handles?”

“Well..” said Lozzock, “Chunder here got his because of his prodigious spewing after the Floral a few years ago. You know Wossisname of course, some bloody foreign name with an excessive number of consonants his parents lumbered him with, that no bugger can say.”

“And you?” asked Wanger.

“He just lozzocks about all day and does now’t,” grinned Wossisname. “Anyway, got just the game for tonight...”

He rummaged through the papers on the table, producing a thin booklet, proudly placing it on the table in front of him. There was much smirking going on round the table.

“Oh, for fucks sake!” said Kev. “You lot are a right set of twats!”

On the front of the booklet, written in big letters were the words “Macho Women With Guns.” (FYI – this game actually does exist).

To be continued.......

“An easy way for the blind to go,
A Clever path for the fool who knows,
The secret of the Hanged Man, the smile on his lips.”

Many thanks go out to Angharad, Kristina and Sammi for pointing out the errors and the excellent proofreading job. You are all stars.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours

And many thanks for all the encouraging comments – Jay.