He's back home, waking up on the day after the night before. What trauma awaits him as he returns to the land of the living?   The Floral Tales Part 5 - Aftermath By J Morose

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance, swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their under age exploits when attending the local rock club.

He's back home, waking up on the day after the night before. What trauma awaits him as he returns to the land of the living?

Part 5 - Aftermath

From part 4...

Anya looked at him. He was even more drunk, somewhat unhappy and incoherent. “You OK Kev?” she said.

“Leave me alone!” he slurred. He felt tired. He closed his eyes.

That was the last he remembered about that night.

When he woke, he had a very large headache and was stiff all over. He opened his eyes and found himself in his parents livingroom with his mother sitting in a chair by the window reading the Sunday newspaper, face like thunder.

Kev's house – Sunday 13:05

“Hi mum!”, croaked Kev.

His mum glanced in his direction and put down the paper. Displeased was too mild of an expression for how her face looked at this moment.

“Don't you 'Hi Mum' me!” she screeched. “Look at the bloody state of you!” Kev's mother had a tonal range that went from normal kindly woman to skriking fish-wife on helium. Her voice went right through Kev, causing him to hold his head reflexively.

“Eh..... what!” mumbled Kev, unsure as to what he had done wrong. He thought that his mother had become accustomed to his usual state on Sundays after the Floral. Something was different, something definitely bad.

Kev racked his brains to try and remember last night. Then he remembered the dress, bra, tights and shoes. 'Shit!' he thought, 'I'm not still..'. He looked down and saw the beer stained nurses dress.

“Shit!” he mumbled.

“Don't you 'shit' me” screeched his mother, “What the hell happened to you last night, eh?” She was working up a good fume and was not about to let Kev get a word in edgeways.

“First, you are carried in by others, unconscious!”

'Fuck!' was all Kev could think...

“Second, look at your clothes!” Kev was painfully aware of how he was dressed. He thought about explaining but thought it best to let his mother get the usual tirade out of the way first.

“What if the neighbours saw you! What would they say if they saw you? How would I face them? Eh!”

“Why are you dressed like that!”, she exclaimed, loudly.

“I, uhhh...” said Kev.

“I don't want to hear it!”, she interrupted, “On second thoughts, yes I do. Are you gay?”

“Eh......ummm......no Mum, I like girls.” Said Kev.

“Do you!”. Her voice seemed to hit dog-whistle registers. “Then why are you dressed like a cheap tart, eh! Also, you stink!”

“Ummm.....well.....”

“Well what! Wait 'till your father comes home!”

'Ahh, the ultimate threat. Like dad could say worse' thought Kev, his head throbbing like the drums to a funeral dirge.

“Gotta go to th'loo.” Said Kev, struggling to get himself upright. “Shit!”

“And don't you use that language while you are living in my house!”

“Sorry mum.”, he grunted. He eventually made himself stand and staggered in the general direction of the bathroom.

Kev went upstairs and entered the bathroom. Across from the door was a large mirror above the sink. He caught his reflection.

“Fuck!”

He was not pleased. He still had his hair tied up by a now bedraggled ribbon, his darkened eyes made him look like a panda and his lips, bright red! Scanning further down, there was the nurses outfit, beer stains prominent. The curve of the bra was evident under the dress.

He looked further down, the skirt of the dress ended in legs clad in shabby tights with holes. He looked like the poster girl for a zombie movie. How did he let Anya talk him into this.

Stripping off the dress, which luckily for him fastened up the front, he was wearing a bra and some corset thingy that pulled in his waist. He fumbled around with the bra for a bit and eventually worked out that if he pulled his arms out of the shoulder straps he could spin it round and undo it easier. He removed the tights and what he had underneath and decided that the corset would have to wait, he was not up to that now.

A little later and much relieved, he finished his business and decided to wash off all the stuff on his face.

After a few minutes of blokey scrubbing, he figured that some of it would require special attention and it was not for coming off with soap and water.

“Shite!”. He had tried drying his face and had covered the towel with various streaks of colour. “Bugger it!”

He went to his room and threw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The next move of course was to get something to drink and a couple of asprin, but that would man braving his mother again. His head was not up to it and he fell asleep on the bed.

Kev's bedroom – Sunday 14.56pm

Kev awoke with a start.

“Shite! What day is it!” He scanned the room looking for the clock and found it was just shy of three o'clock. His head hurt and his mouth felt like it had been scoured clean with wire wool.

He got up and went to the bathroom, did his business and once again looked in the mirror. It looked like he had lost a fight in a crayon factory, but he was dressed normally.

“Bugger!”

He went downstairs and headed for the kitchen, where his father was making a cup of coffee.

“Its alive!” said his dad, looking completely non-plussed. “What the hell happened to you last night? You went out looking your usual self and come back as the bride of Frankenstein. Tell me son, your not gay are you?”

“No!” exclaimed Kev, “Brew!”. He gestured toward the kettle.

“OK, but we are going to have a long chat with your mother as soon as it's made!”

'Oh shit!' thought Kev, not wanting to face his mother again.

“Anyway, was it a good night, son?”

“First bit was OK”. Kev was a bit relieved to be exchanging small talk with his dad rather than being on the receiving end of some shouty lecture. Worry still lined his face though.

His dad handed him the drink, strong tea by the looks of it. “Cheers dad”.

“C'mon, let's face your mother...”

His dad gestured toward the door. Kev really did not want this right now, feeling somewhat more than delicate.

“You may as well get it over with, but afterwards, we will have a bit of a talk.”

“OK dad....”

Kev opened the living room door and poked his head around it. His mother was still sat in the chair, this time watching some sunday morning religious nonsense on TV. She looked up and saw him standing ther in the doorway.

“Kevin! We need to talk!” His mother had lost none of her shrillness, but was a little less animated than earlier.

'Oh shit' thought Kev, 'well, best face the music'.

Kev took a seat on the sofa as far away fro his mother as he possibly could, hoping the distance would give him some room to manoeuvre if she became unpredictable. He sat hunched over and nursing his drink, his hair falling over his face which brought welcome relief from the stark daylight streaming through the windows. His dad followed him in and sat at the other end of the sofa.

“Now that we are all here..” His mother had started, “Perhaps you might like to offer us an explanation for your state this morning.”

“Well, me and Wan...sorry Tony went round to Anya's house....” Kev was feeling somewhat shaky.

“And...”

“Well..... it's a theme night.....so Anya.........bright idea........bugger!”

“Don't use that tone with me Kevin!” His mother was in fine form again.

“Let him speak love.” said dad, “I'm sure there is perfectly reasonable explanation to all this.”

His mother glared at her husband. She thought he would be more upset by this.

Kev explained haltingly about last night, leaving out Anya's offer and the ladies toilet bit. He still could not remember much about the latter half of the night or how he got home. He decided he would have to speak to Anya and Wanger later.

Kev's parents listened quietly, but the sense of growing disapproval grew as Kev told his tale, especially from his mother.Finally his dad spoke.

“Well, we were all young once I suppose...”

“What's that suppose to mean? Have you seen the bloody state of him?”

“Now love, don't get so het up.”

'Cool' thought Kev. At least his dad saw a bit of sense.

“But...” His mother was still somewhat incensed. “Did you see what he was wearing?”

“And who was it that made a dress out of a pair of curtains when in college ?” This was getting interesting. Kev listened intently, not wanting to put his foot in it any more.

“What's that got to do with anything? Dress is womans clothing, not for men..”

“But you wear pants and shirts and stuff..”

“They are called blouses dear, not shirts and......” Looking extremely exasperated, Kev's mother gave up. “Oh! I give up! I've gotta make tea anyway.”

With that, she got up and stomped out to the kitchen, slamming the door behind her.

Kev had finished his brew and started to get up. His dad held his hand up and was smiling a little.

“sit down son. We need a little chat.” His smile remained. Kev looked little relieved. His dad was quite an odd fellow, sometimes he could be the last bastion of a Victorian era conservativeness and at other times his views were quite progressive.

“I was young once you know...” he started, “Let me tell you a tale...”

He told this story about a nineteen year old apprentice who was dating one of the nurses at a Manchester teaching Hospital. This fellow decided to sneak into the nurses home to see his beloved and thought he would manage it better in disguise, so he wore a nurses uniform and a heavy coat and snuck into the home and met with his sweetheart.

“You sound like you are talking from experience...” said Kev.

“Well..” His dad went bright red, “actually...”

'Whoa!' Thought kev. “No wonder you didn't say owt.” He exclaimed.

“But I did not let everyone see me and I was not living at home at the time.”

kev thought on this. “But I've seen the old photos, you had a moustache..”

“Not that night I didn't...But I did not do makeup, or false breasts or wear womens underwear either.”

Kev thought a little on this. “Does mum know?”

“Nope. Don't want her doing her nut.”

“Fair enough.” Kev could be reasonable when he wanted to be. “I'm gonna go see Wanger for a bit,” A change of direction and he really did need to find out what happened last night. “be back for tea.”

“OK, but next time, know your limits, drink standing up!”

“Will do. Oh and dad...”

“What?”

“Thanks for not chucking a mental on me.”

With that Kev grabbed his boots and coat and was off out of the door in very short order, preventing any intervention by his mother, whom was probably still mad as a wasp in the kitchen.

Wanger's House – Sunday 16:15

Kev knocked on wanger's bedroom door and let himself in. Wanger was sitting at his computer, obviously nowhere near in the state that Kev was in today. Kev was impatient to find out what happened.

“Grammy!” Wanger sounded surprised. “Didn't think you'd be about today.”

“What the shuddering fuck happened last night Wanger”. Kev was very impatient.

“Calm down, this'll take a while. I'll go and fetch some pop.” Wanger got up, “Coke do?”

Kev nodded his head and Wanger charged out of the room and returned shortly with two cans.

“So, what the fuck happened?”

“Upto where can you remember, girlyboy?” Wanger had an impish smile at this point.

“Girlyboy!” Kev was starting to get the feeling that he would not live this down soon.

“Yup, girlyboy. Well look..” Wanger gestured to Kev's waist and his face. “Looked in the mirror today? You still got a girls hairdo, your face still has makeup on, you got bright red nails and your waist, it shouldn't look like that, man.”

“Couldn't get the bastard stuff off,” kev was so not pleased, as he had totally forgotten all of that in his haze and quest for truth. “Bollocks.”

“Or lack thereof!” Wanger chuckled.

Kev took a big swig of the caffeine goodness in a tin. “Anyway, about last night...”

“Well you see...” Wanger was going to take his time, that much was certain. “What was the last thing you remember?”

“Yard of ale.”

Wanger had a grin that seemed to indicate that he was going to enjoy this.

To be continued.......

“As you sow so shall you reap and I my friend have plenty,

So sit you down and eat your words now that your plate is empty.”

All your typo are belong to us.

If someone wants to proofread my stuff, please IM me. Serious offers only please.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours
And many thanks for all the encouraging comments - J