The Recoverer (4).
by
Angharad.
Like the popular wartime song, I had something in common with Goebbels, I was a gelding, no balls at all. It's supposed to make various male animals quieter and less aggressive. It hasn't worked in my case insofar as I am still capable of being the aggressor, however, it makes me appear to be more feminine and womanly. I seem to enjoy it, I'm not sure why. Am I transgender? I suppose to some degree but I'm still a chick with a dick, albeit one stitched up into my abdomen. I am one of those who seem to threaten women's only spaces, yet I have no interest in doing so which makes a certain well known author, with dogmatic opinions, look extremely stupid. I mean there is a possibility an asteroid could hit the moon and cause damage to Earth, should she be campaigning against that?

Insurance is based on probabilities, the percentage chance that your house will burn down or your car be stolen. When the risk is higher so is the risk to the insurance company and the premium is also higher. I don't know if my charges are included if I have to get your property back, may be so, I don't know part of the problem is why your property was taken in the first place. In 9 out of 10 cases, it's taken to sell on, for its resale value. If it's a rare item its value is much greater but so is the difficulty of selling it on. If someone pinches a famous painting by a well-known but deceased artist, it may be worth millions, because it cannot be replaced, but to sell on is virtually impossible unless you know an unscrupulous collector who happens to be rather wealthy and who risks imprisonment and ruin for an obsession, if they are found out. it's a crazy world we live in, but we have to survive and that means earning a crust to do so. My means involves doing the finding out and recovering the item in good order for a commission which is about 20% of its value. In the case of an old master, could be a significant amount of money but one of those only comes around once in a lifetime. But with stuff that is nicked and then found I do alright out of it, I live reasonably comfortably and my staff of one is well remunerated too, no matter how much he grumbles, he pays the higher rate of tax and grumbles about that as well.

I pay Mike a salary for which he is expected to work and he works quite hard. It is the agency that collects the commission, all staff are paid, whether full time or part time of whatever. My pay come from the degree of profits at the end of a particular month, it's usually about the same most months but now and again something bigger happens. That might take us months to finish and require lots of research, viewing sites, interviewing people (half of whom are probably lying), testing statements and lots of other stuff. By the time we receive the award, we may have spent much of it, it's only when something happens quickly we can save time and money and retrieve the item for the insurer, then our overheads are less, profit is greater and everyone is happy. Mike's bonus at the end of the year depends upon profits, so instead of encouraging to think of him working for me to make a profit, I tend to suggest he's working for his bonus, I suppose I benefit as well, but then I'm taking all the risks and doing a lot of the work as well - I don't work office hours unless we're very quiet.

It was upon such a day that we cracked a case wide open in very short time, improving the profits and his bonus. If people ask why the boss earns more than others I just refer them back to their own boss. After one such argument, we received a call from EQ Saunders Ltd, one of the insurers that cover jewellery and gems, many of their clients are either landed gentry type, film stars of models, you won't find ordinary folk because they can't afford million pound gems or operate in the places where women do wear them, top restaurants, galas of different sorts, award ceremonies and other jamborees too many to mention. In most big cities at least every weekend, there is at least one woman wearing megabucks on her body, there is supposed to be security, the vendor is liable otherwise, but the weak points are when she leaves home, walks up to the event before going in, or leaves it. I also learned new one this time, the toilets.

What are the odds of me being in the loo when a hit happens? That's what I thought, but I was. I was there as arm candy for a film producer whose wife was taken ill and who phoned me on spec the day before. I was surprised although I had been talking to him and his wife a night or so before. I agreed to help him out because I'd never been to such an event but it meant I'd have spend a day in a beauty salon to prepare for it. He agreed to pay for that, as he has much more money than I do, so I went to my regular salon and spent much of the day there, along with umpteen cups of tea and salmon and cucumber sandwiches. My beauty therapist knows me well, including my original gender but never mentions it unless it comes up in conversation between us.

I've been living as Eve for a long time now and still taking oestradiol, so my boobs are gaining a little on the rest of my body because I am dieting there or doing special exercises to make my tummy slimmer or my hips bigger. The hormones are helping there a little and I'm wondering how long I can carry on as I am. We talked about this and how my options are narrowing, unlike my bum. Anyway, Delia, my beauty therapist made me look even better by the time I left with two hours to get dressed and be ready for my ride to the venue, one of the big West End hotels with ball rooms and god knows what else. I haven't been to one for some time, I don't usually operate in this area unless it's investigating things, but who am I to turn down such and occasion and a free dinner. Okay, I'll have to listen to a few speeches but at least I'm not having to make them. I was told that Tom Cruise was going to be there but I don't really expect to move in his circles, if I do meet him, I shall say hello, but unless he wants to pursue it, which is unlikely, that's all we'll say. He might be below average height but he is fighting fit and still does lots of his own stunts, so wimp, he is not.

I had drunk too much water, I don't drink much if any alcohol - much of the time I have to be on my guard - so tonight, I could have had a blow out, instead I preferred to hear what people are saying and to keep my balance if I have to dance - I've been learning to ball-room dance as a woman, so half look forwards to it and I know Dan, my partner for tonight, is a good dancer. His wife is too but she's gone sick so he'll have to do with me. He doesn't know what I am, just thinks I'm an unattached girl, as does his wife, she won't be disappointed in me out with her husband, because I won't do anything however much he asks, not that I think he would.

We were in between the main course, we'd had entrees and were waiting a sweet when I excused myself to go to the ladies. I was seated in the cubicle finishing off my wee, when I heard more women enter the loo. I was trying to dry myself while wearing a long dress - it can be fiddly, and was; just as I succeeded a ruckus blew up in the outer room. I could hear it alright, I was just the other side of the door from it, in my cubicle. Loud voices were heard with some issuing fairly quiet threats against her. Someone else threatened to taser her and did. I heard her hit against my door as she writhed and fell, it truly is an evil invention. The first voice told them grab her jewellery as she was on the floor, some of these women had masses of investments wrapped up these things. I had managed to be in on a robbery but was stuck behind a toilet door and I suspect the woman victim was lying in the way of me getting out. I suddenly thought,' they open inwards, with care I can get out, even in high heels.'

I held my clutch in my one hand and pulled open the door. The one woman pointed a taser at me and I threw my bag hard and hit it from her hands, I stepped over the woman they had attacked, and hit her under the chin. They had threatened me, there was no quarter given, she went flying and crashed against the row of wash basins, she was basically out of it for a moment - I spun around just as the other woman swun the bag of jewellery at me. This was quite hard and heavy stuff and could do me injury. I step back parried her swing and managed to pull her arm from behind and momentum crashed her into a wall, then before she could recover, I threw a large pot of talcum which shattered on the top of her head - we now had a marker on her if she did escape. The one with the taser stood up on wobbly legs, I threatened to hit her again, she fired and missed and this time I did hit her, no messing. The woman on the floor was still in trouble and I had to try and get her help. The two attackers were quiet for a moment so I opened the door and called help. No messing in rushed Tom Cruise who saw what was happening and went to his partner, I didn't realise she was. The police were called and the two suspects arrested, the injured lady was taken off by a paramedic whereas Tom and I were escorted to an office by police where we said what we'd witnessed. I admitted I had hit the two attackers because they had taser and were going to use it as they had on the victim.

The interrogation lasted about an hour when they let both of us out. Cruise had been more worried about his partner and hadn't been involved in any violence, probably just as well, if he'd hit them, they'd probably have still been looking for the bodies, with me hitting them they weren't really able to fight on. Tom and I went back to the dinner although it was long over, he thanked me for my help in saving the jewellery and for trying to help his partner. Dan, hugged me and said my break seemed more interesting than the speeches. We did have a short trip around the dance floor but I wasn't in the mood, threatening to cry as I visualised that poor woman on the bathroom floor, so he took me home, I still didn't get my sweet.

The next day Mike had a phone call purporting to be from a certain American film star who was wondering if I could come to lunch with him and his girl, Cassidy, the next day. Mike looked rather strange as I took the call and accepted the invite, it was at another big hotel. After I accepted of course he wanted to know the ins and outs, Mike that is, all I wanted to do was see if I had a suitable dress available, if not I'd have to buy one - shit, I'd need to go now for that. Yelling, I'd tell him later, I grabbed my bag and ran out to the car.

I have one boutique where I know her sizes fit me at prices I can almost afford, so that's where I went. When she asked the occasion, I just told her 'lunch with film star.'

"But who?"

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"Well, yes it does, a man could require something different to a woman, so who is it?"

"I'm not allowed to say."

"Bollocks," was her reply, I don't think she believed me, but I didn't spill the beans. I did buy a nice dress, it cost me a few hundred but should look alright tomorrow if I can get my hair right, sometime I think it's haunted by a very unhelpful spirit, some days I do it brilliantly, the rest of the time the ghost wins, besides I still had the extensions that Delia had added last time I saw her, so had quite a bit more hair than I usually did. I phoned her when I got back from the dress shop and would go and see her before I went to lunch. Amazing, this didn't happen when I was Adam - how come? Duh!

After the hairdresser in which I wouldn't name the film star, she made me look adorable again, well, I thought so, and with my new dress, I drove to the hotel a huge one in the West End and my car was parked by valets, never had that before. I warned them to take good care of my baby and went to reception. "Excuse me, I believe I have a lunch appointment?"

"With whom?" she asked looking at the computer screen.

"My name is Eve Bright."

"Ah, yes, here you are," She rang a bell and I bus boy led me to the table, in my earlier life, I always thought they called them pages, but illiterate Americana takes all in its way, yet again. Better not think too much about it as I consider who's paying for my lunch. I was led to the table, at which I was the only one, asked what I wanted to drink and asked for low calorie still water. I do it to see if the waiter is awake. They always come back with Perrier, and tell me it seems to be unavailable in that. I despair, how many of these people know that water has zero calories unless you heat it, and that's different.

Tom C arrive a few minutes later trying to avoid photographers and auto graph hunters, he came on his own and smiled at me before he sat down - perhaps this dress was worth it. He apologised for his partner not being there, she was still not well after the taser. I wasn't surprised and I'm not important. He asked what I did and I told he knew what I did, his agent or secretary would have found out for him. "So how come you were in the toilet at just the right time?"

I explained about my dress and how it was so tight, it was either take the time to pull my knickers up or not wear them. I'm glad I did because the delay caused me to be there as the assault was going on outside my door.

He asked me if it was staged and nearly got up and walked. "Look, you're an insurance recovery expert..."

"You're a film star but I don't see you in porn."

"How much porn do ya watch?"

"None."

"Which might explain it," he smirked. After which he and I talked freely. The jewels would have fetched well over a million pounds and some were on lone. The women we caught weren't talking, so it could have been organised by a bigger gang, they were the patsies because I'd stopped things. I told him, I wasn't working so commission didn't apply. He said differently and told me the insurers would be on to me about it, I told 'em you saved my girl and our jewels, therefore you are due some rewards. I thanked him asked how his partner was and he agreed that tasers were evil things. at the end of the meal I thanked him and kissed him on the cheek, he kissed me and asked if I wanted so see Pinewood studios. Wow, what an offer. I accepted and he told me he'd have to work it in with the studio schedule but he thought some time towards the end of the week should be alright. He said he'd ring but I wondered if that was an empty promise to a fan type thing.

Two days later I got a call, not from him but an assistant and I was due at the studios on Friday. I quickly asked if I could bring Mike and they said yes. Hopefully, he would come to believe that I have met Tom Cruise a couple of times and how nice he was. He was like a six year old on Friday and he couldn't believe his eyes. I took him home totally overwhelmed.

On Monday we talked with the insurance company and I told them what Tom had told me to say to them. They offered up a 15% commission as it wasn't due to my investigating. I told them that next time I'd keep the jewellery and pay it back to them at the normal commission or keep it and negotiate with the owners, not a middle man. They upped the percentage to twenty and asked me to keep cooperating with them and other large insurance companies. We did alright, we got £150,000, not bad for a night's work, even if not intended. Once witnessing right and wrong and seeing it was very wrong, then to be staring down the barrel of a taser, survival took over. If someone points a gun at me, no matter what sort, I'll try and stop them shooting me and that goes for tasers too.

I still hate guns, that's all I can say.