Hawaiian Retreat - 9

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Hawaiian Retreat: 9

by Clara
Copyright©2020,2024 Clara Schumann

 

New job, new responsibilities, new everything! Donnie is facing new challenges everyday.


 
Author's Note: At the time of this writing, I’m feeling good. I slept for a couple of days this weekend and that seemed to help. The day after tomorrow I have to go and get retested. Hopefully I am set free at that point. This isolation is difficult and I can’t wait to be able to be in the same room as my family again. Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes in the reviews of the last installment. That really meant a lot to me. ~Clara.
 
This version of Hawaiian Retreat: 9 has been updated with many corrections towards spelling and grammar.~Sephrena.
 
Image Credit: Image created through the use of ai at https://perchance.org/beautiful-people .~Sephrena.


 
 
Chapter 9
 
 

 

When the doors closed, Mitch sighed. "So... Saturday, huh? Are you still determined to come clean about everything?"

I nodded. "That's what I'd like to do, but... I won't do it unless you agree to do it, too."

He took my hand and squeezed it. "We'll figure it out, hon. We'll tell them together."

I stood in silence for a moment before I asked, "And if they don't take it well?"

Mitch looked at me and smiled. "Then we say 'Fuck You' and we move on."

When the elevator doors opened, Mitch was going to introduce me to everyone, but, of course, I'd already met them all. So, he walked me to the door and gave me a kiss before I left. Then he whispered, "Whatever we decide to do, remember that I love you."

I kissed him back. "I love you, too. Let's talk about it before the weekend."

He winked at me. "Sounds good."

I had to hurry to make it to the mall in time to meet Mom. She was already in JC Penny when I got there and she had already picked out ten dresses for me to try on.

"Come on," she smiled as she hustled me towards the changing rooms, "I can't wait to see you in these."

Mom waited right outside my changing room and critiqued the fit of every dress. "We need to make sure that you can move comfortably in these, Donnie. These aren't high fashion, these are meant to be beautiful yet functional. You want to make a statement, keep the children's attention and not hinder your movement at all. Primary colors are always a good choice when dealing with the little ones, but they like literal depictions, too - flowers and the like. Simple patterns are good, too, but I'd recommend staying away from blotchy patterns with no real forms. That can confuse the little ones."

It was as if she'd developed an entire science around what she wore to work everyday.

I looked at Mom and smiled. "I notice that you wear slacks sometimes. Since I'll be standing and then sitting a lot, should I consider slacks, too?"

Mom looked at me and smirked. "I have a lady's rear end, Donnie. You don't. I think it would be best NOT over emphasize a feature that you don't really have."

"Fair enough," I laughed and returned to the changing room.

We ended up getting five dresses, three skirts with six tops and two cardigan style sweaters, with Mom making it clear that we would need to be returning to the mall over the weekend to find some more. "A woman needs a good selection of clothing, Donnie," she chided as we went to put the bags into the trunk of my car. "Mitch and his father will never understand that. Men can wear the same suit or two everyday and and no one will notice. Throw on a clean shirt and out the door they go. Women need variety."

I smiled and nodded in agreement. "Ok. If you say so."

"Oh, I do. Come on, let's go back in," she said, completely surprising me.

"Back in?" I checked my watch. It was already after five. "Mitch will be home, soon."

"So what?" She shrugged. "He's a grown man. He can take care of himself. You need some perfume and hair products."

I blinked in confusion. "But... I have perfume and hair products."

"Yes you do, and they're all very floral and seductive." Mom slid her arm into mine and guided me back towards the entrance. "Those aren't appropriate for wearing around children. Smells are a big part of a child's perception. Let's fine some simple scents - vanilla, or lavender. Something subtle."

As we entered the mall again, I said, "But I am wearing lavender right now."

"And it's too strong to wear with children. You'll see. Come with me."

We went to a store that specialized in scents and left with a tiny bottle (that cost a whopping sixty five dollars) of a perfume called 'Vanille Gourmande Eau Gormande.' It was a subtle scent that smelled a bit of vanilla, a bit of orchards and a few less distinguishable aromas. It was pretty and Mom assured me that a little dab on my neck and wrists in the morning and the girls wouldn't notice anything other than 'Miss Dawn smells nice.'

Before we could leave, Mom insisted on buying us both a small ice cream from the Cold Stone Creamery. I had plain old chocolate, while Mom had a pistachio with several kinds of nuts mixed in to it. We sat far away from everyone else in the food court and slowly ate our delicious treat.

"So," Mom said, rather suddenly, putting her ice cream aside for the time being and looking around to be sure that no one else was within ear shot, "explain to me how you accomplished all of this so quickly, Donnie."

I put down my vanilla and looked at her, confused. "Accomplished what? The job? I just kind of wandered into that."

She smiled. "Donnie. I have known you your whole life. I watched you grow from a little boy into a man and then, suddenly, you are a woman. And not just ANY woman, but a beautiful, self confident woman with a husband and a new career. I mean, when I saw the pictures of you that Mitch sent us, I was amazed, but... Donnie... you ARE a woman. You speak like a woman, walk like a woman, smell like a woman, gesture like a woman... There is nothing about you to indicate that you haven't been a woman your entire life. Who did you accomplish that?"

It was obvious by the tone of her voice that she was only asking out of curiosity, not to cause any problems. She was right, though, she has known me my entire life. If I couldn't talk frankly to her, who could I talk to?

I thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know how to answer that, Mom. I was fine before. I mean... not fine... my life was falling apart, but I never considered that I'd be happier as a woman. At first it was... odd... awkward... different, but then, the first time that Mitch and I went out together alone - it was actually the night I met his bosses and their wives - it all just... kind of... changed. Suddenly, I just... felt... right. Maybe for the first time in my life."

She nodded and smiled. "Donnie... I don't want to upset you by saying this... you were a fine young man, but... you are an amazing woman."

I smiled. "Why would that upset me?"

She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "I don't know... it's a little awkward to talk about these things, but... if I don't ask, then I will be wondering forever."

"Ask anything you'd like, Mom," I half giggled.

"Ok..." I could see there was more. "... what about Mitch?"

I was surprised by that. "What about him?"

"Well," she took a deep breath, "I... I've known that Mitch was in love with you since you were teenagers. To tell you the truth, when I tried to force him to go to your freshman year semi-formal, Mitch's dad pulled me aside and pointed out that Mitch wasn't interested in girls. At first, I was shocked, but after about ten seconds of turmoil, I realized that I was fine with that, as long as Mitch was happy. My only concern was... you."

"Me?"

She nodded at me. "Once my eyes were opened, I realized that Mitch was in love with you. I just never expected that you would fall in love with him."

I stirred my ice cream a bit and considered what she'd just said. "Mom... I've always loved Mitch as a friend, you know that, but... over the past three weeks... at first I thought it was just the clothes playing tricks on my mind, but then... I honestly, completely fell in love with him. I mean that. I mean... I knew I felt very strong feelings for Nancy when we were together, but... it was nothing like what I feel for Mitch. When I fell for Mitch... I fell completely. You don't need to worry. I love him."

"I wasn't worried," Mom smiled. "I was just... interested." She leaned across the table and squeezed my hand. "I'm very happy that we've reached this point, Donnie, and I want to help in any way that I can."

I couldn't help but smile. How did I get this lucky?

When I got home, Mitch was busy in the kitchen making hamburgers for our dinner. "Well," he chuckled as he saw me entering with several over loaded bags, "looks like you and Mom found everything you need."

I smiled. "Until the weekend. She says I need more."

He laughed. "I made burgers. I have kaiser rolls for them, too."

I shook my head. "I'll just have the burger, thanks. No bun."

"No bun?" Mitch as appalled.

I laughed. "Mitch, I am five foot six and I weigh a hundred and twenty eight pounds. I need to maintain that weight and I'm not going to do it by eating big, bread-y rolls at dinner time. Thank you for making dinner, but just the burger for me, thanks."

He laughed. "Women."

I spent that night researching lesson plans online and decided on how to start with each grade. Nothing too fancy, just some coloring or sketching projects for the little ones and some modeling clay projects for the older ones. I called Mom with some questions about the lesson plans I needed to fill out and she was very helpful - in fact, she came over and checked my work. Honestly, I think that the novelty of having a daughter-in-law was very exciting for her.

We were in bed early and I was too nervous for anything other than some cuddling while we watched an old movie in bed.

The next morning, Mitch and I walked out to our cars together - he to his nice lease and me to my old clunker - and we were met by my in-laws who were waiting to wish me luck.

"Are you planning on driving your car into the parking lot at a private school?" Mom asked.

I shrugged. "Yeah. What choice do I have?"

"No, no, no, no, no," Mom muttered. "Mitchell, you drop her off this morning and I'll pick her up after school. I don't want your first impression to be this car. I'm sorry, Donnie, but that is an issue."

Mitch looked at my car and chuckled. "She might have a point, hon. This car has seen better days. How old is it?"

I glanced at the car and said, "Fourteen years old. I bought it used, the summer after freshman year."

"How many miles are on it?" Dad asked.

"Two hundred and eighty something," I replied, rather proud that I'd gotten so many miles out of the old girl.

"Donnie," Mom touched my shoulder, "a woman can't be riding around in an unreliable vehicle. If you break down in the wrong place, well... heaven knows what could happen to you!"

I looked at Mitch, assuming he would say something like, 'Don't worry. Donnie can take care of himself,' or 'Don't be such a worry-wort. Donnie doesn't have to worry about things like that,' but instead, he said, "She's right, Donnie. We need to upgrade your car. Take a look on-line, figure out what you'd like and let's get you a new car this weekend."

"Mitch!" I was shocked. "A car is a big investment. We need to talk about this..."

He nodded. "Ok, but a car is a necessity, too, and I want you to be safe, so... take a look and see what you'd like. We can set up a lease. It won't cost that much. I want you to be safe, Donnie, ok?"

I couldn't argue. Heck, I doubt my jalopy could survive a small fender bender at this point. I definitely needed a car, but... did I have the credit to buy one? I had been out of work for months and I was behind on my house payments, so there was reason for concern.

"Alright, then it's settled," Mom brushed a few strays hair back behind my ears. "I'll see you at three fifteen in front of your school. I'll text when I get there. You come out when you're ready."

I shrugged. "Ok, but I hate to put you out."

"Oh, pooh," Mom waved away my concerns. "We're family, now, Donnie. I am always here to help you."

You know how, sometimes, you wonder why you would have ever put yourself into some situation or another? I was both excited and petrified about that first day of school, and, you know what? It went great! The girls were all accepting of me and excited to try any project I put before them. Some of the older girls were actually extremely talented. Some of them had studied books on drawing, some had even taken classes at the local art museum. All in all, the first week was a huge success! Alma, the principal, even observed a couple of my classes and said that I was doing a great job.

Did you hear that? I was doing a great job AND I kind of loved doing the job. I really enjoyed being with the kids and seeing their eyes light up when they did well. It was amazing and I was thrilled.

After school on Thursday, Mom drove me to a medical building on the other side of the city for my first meeting with my therapist. I was very nervous about the meeting, but Mom was very supportive. She even walked me in and waited in the waiting room while I went in to my appointment.

"Just relax and be honest," she whispered to me when the receptionist told me I could go in.

Dr Manson was a very handsome woman, and I mean that in the most complimentary way. Tall, five foot ten, at least, fit, but not exactly slender and impeccably dressed in a skirt suit that hugged every one of her curves.

"So," she said with an endearing smile, "you're Donnie, are you? Tell me about yourself."

I started slowly, talking about my childhood, how I was just a normal boy and all of that. It was all pretty general until I got to the night that Mitch asked me to go to Hawaii as his date. Then, I seemed to be unable to stop talking about all the changes that I'd gone through since that night.

When I finished, Dr Manson just sat quietly and looked at me. Finally, she said, "Three weeks. You've only been in your female persona for three weeks and you're already committed to a marriage? That... has to be some kind of a record." She snickered a bit at her own words.

"Are you making fun of me?" I asked, a bit hurt.

"Not at all," she smiled. "In fact, I'm very impressed. I'm not sure what you set out to do, but you have achieved quite a bit in less than a month."

I eyed her suspiciously. "I didn't 'set out' to do anything, though. I just followed my heart."

She leaned back a bit and considered what I'd said. "Followed your heart? That's an excellent answer, Donnie. Is it, in fact, true, though? I mean, you told me that, at the time that Mitch asked you to be his... plus one, shall we say... your life was pretty much in tatters. Now - the wife of a successful lawyer, a new career as a teacher... things are pretty good, all of a sudden. Did you follow your heart or did you find a path to prosperity?"

"I followed my heart," I said, angrily. I stood and picked up my purse, preparing to leave, but I stopped and I stared at the doctor for a moment before saying, "You know, the past three weeks have been the hardest and ultimately the most joyous of my life. I didn't come here to be looked down upon by you. So, I guess I would say that this session is over."

The doctor stood, then, and pointed to the chair I'd previously occupied. "Donnie... please... have a seat. I needed to push you a bit to see if you were being sincere. I apologize if I upset you, but, honestly, I want to help you. Please... give me a few more minutes."

Reluctantly, I returned to the chair and sat.

"Tell me about your body," the doctor said, surprising me.

"My body? What about my body?"

"Well, I notice that you have breasts. That's a bit unusual, since you haven't had surgery. Tell me about your breasts."

I looked down at them, strangely proud of them. "They are filled with saline at the moment. I'm having surgery in a couple of weeks to have them done properly."

She nodded. "And how do your breasts make you feel?"

I blinked at her. What an odd question. How did my breasts make me feel? Why, they made me feel... "Whole."

She looked me in the eye. "Whole? Explain that for me, please."

For the next forty five minutes, all I talked about was how important my breasts had become to me. Honestly, I had no idea how desperately I needed them until that conversation. When Dr Manson finally said, "Well, that's an hour, Donnie. I think we've made some very good progress, today. How do feel about our discussion?" I had no idea I'd been talking so much or for so long.

I thought for a moment and smiled. "I feel great. I didn't realize I had so much to say. Thank you."

Dr Manson stood and offered me her hand. "I hope that you understand why I started the way I did."

I took her hand. "Not really, but I accept that it worked."

She smiled and walked me to the door. "I'll see you next Thursday, then. If you need anything, please feel free to call this number, anytime of the day or not." She handed me a business card.

I looked at the card, then up at her. "Why...would I need to call you?"

She gave me a sad smile. "Donnie... you don't seem to realize it, but what you're going through may... may put a stain on you... emotionally. Hopefully, your charmed life continues, but... if not... then call me."

I nodded, feeling a bit deflated after such a great talk. "Ok."

She winked at me. "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, right?"

I nodded and forced a smile. "Right."

Mom was very interested in what had happened in the office. She didn't push for details, but she was concerned that I looked worried when I came out. As we walked back to the car, she said, "Are you ok, Donnie? You look pretty shaken up."

I nodded and did my best to smile. "I'm fine. She just... she... touched on things that I hadn't really... fully realized, I guess. It was... eye opening."

We got into Mom's car and she pushed the start button, then sat and we both looked out the windshield for a few moments before Mom asked, with considerable fear in her voice, "Are you having second thoughts about... your... decisions? You're new life?"

I let out a nervous laugh. "No. No, Mom, not in the least. If anything, I'm even more happy than ever that I've made the choices I've made. I'm just... I don't know... I guess I'm just considering what changes I want... or need, maybe... to make to my body... mine."

Mom took my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Whatever you decide, honey, you know that we're all here for you. Mitch, Dad, me... Marie, Hilda... we all just want what's best for you. If you need help... or just want to talk to someone, just reach out. We'll help."

I couldn't help the tear from falling even as I smiled. "I know, Mom. Thank you. I will reach out if I need help. I promise. Thank you."

When we got home, Mom joined me in my kitchen and gave me pointers on how to make her version of chicken Parmesan. Dad arrived home around five thirty and came over to join us, bringing with him a bottle of chianti. He was very happy to be home and he hugged and kissed Mom like they were newlyweds. He poured a glass of wine for himself and mom, offering one to me, as well, but, of course, I declined.

Mitch arrived a little after six, just as the food was being put on the table.

"Hey, there's a party at my house and I wasn't invited," he teased as he took off his suit coat and loosened his tie.

"They didn't invite me, either," Dad joined the joke. "They only let me crash because I brought the wine." He gave Mitch a warm, welcoming hug. "Welcome home, son. By the way, we're having dinner with you."

Mitch gave his father's back a hearty slap as he laughed. "Always glad to have you." He came over to me and hugged me a bit harder than I expected. "Hi."

"Hi," I replied, but there was something about his demeanor that concerned me, just a bit. "Everything ok?"

"Every's fine, hon. I was just concerned about you. How did your first session go?"

I smiled and accepted the explanation. "It went... well. Really well, I think."

He smiled. "Good. That's all I was concerned about."

We had a lovely meal with lots of chat and laughter. It seemed to come very easily to Mitch's family, where it never really had to mine. I enjoyed the feeling of inclusion, of love, of family.

Mom and I took care of the clean up while Mitch and Dad talked spots and politics in living room.

When we were done, Mom gave me a hug and touched her hand to my cheek. "I enjoyed cooking with you, Donnie."

"Me too, Mom."

She smiled. "Let's do it a lot more."

I laughed. "Ok."

When Mitch and I were finally alone, I asked, "Are you sure that there's nothing else on your mind?"

He shrugged. "Just work, I guess. Nothing worth discussing."

I nodded. "Can we discuss Saturday night, then?"

Mitch chuckled. "Funny you should mention that because Jodi came into my office today, thrilled to be coming to dinner on Saturday. She said she misses you and she can't wait to see you again."

I smiled. "Mitch... I think I need to tell them, but... if you don't want to do it just now... I can wait."

He took my hand and we walked all the way upstairs before he responded. "Donnie. If I ask you to wait, there would only be one reason to do that - because I was embarrassed of us and... I am not. I love you and I will never deny that. If you want... or need... to tell them, then let's do it on Saturday night. I'm here for you, I'm here with you, and I will happily tell them that the woman I love wasn't always a woman, but I still love her with all my heart."

I smiled and hugged him. "Thank you."

I still felt like there was something that he wasn't telling me, though. I could feel that there was something nagging at him, but he obviously didn't want to discuss it with me.

On Friday morning, Mitch asked if I'd looked at any vehicles to replace my car. I explained that I was concerned about spending too much, but Mitch insisted, so I agreed to go with him that evening to look at a Kia hybrid that I thought I could afford -IF- my credit held up to the scrutiny of the dealership.

Mitch looked at the vehicle on his iPad and shrugged. "Ok, if you're sure this is what you want."

"It's a nice car, Mitch. It has a great rating and I can afford it."

Mitch nodded. "Yes, but... you can afford whatever you want, honey."

I shook my head. "No, Mitch, YOU can afford whatever you want. Right now, I can afford the Kia and it's important to me that I pay for this myself."

He shrugged. "Alright. If this is the car you've chosen, then let's go get one this evening."

My day at school was typically joyful. In just four days, I'd grown to love working with the girls and guiding their exploration into visual arts. I saw the younger girls twice a week and the older girls three times. So, by the end of that day, I'd seen each of my classes twice that week. They were all so delightfully charming in their own ways. Even the moody ones could be cajoled into smiling when their creativity was complimented. And some of the moodier girls did the most amazing work.

I was surprised when, at three fifteen, I stepped out of the school to find Mitch waiting for me and talking to Alycia. She smiled as I approached. "Here she is, now." Alycia greeted me. "I was just telling Mitch how well your first week has gone. Honestly, Donnie, I've never seen the girls attach themselves to someone as quickly as they've attached themselves to you. They all seem to adore you."

I laughed as I pushed my hair back, out of my face. "Is that so? What did you do, take a poll?"

Alycia smirked and bounced her head from side to side. "In a way... Alma and I both stopped into the other classes and asked the girls how Art Class was going. We got nothing but rave reviews."

Mitch put his arm around me and smiled. "I would expect nothing less."

I laughed, again. "Well, Alycia, I cannot thank you enough for this opportunity. I never really considered teaching before, but I have to admit, I've never done anything I've enjoyed this much."

Just then, a mother and daughter were exiting the school and the little girl shouted, "Bye, Miss Alycia! Bye, Miss Dawn!"

We both turned to see the fourth grader. "Bye, Annie!" We both called back.

The girl said something to her mother, who released the child's hand, and the child ran over to us to hug us and receive a hug in return. Alycia stood and gave the child a gentle hug in return. I squatted down and gave her a big hug, then she scurried back to her mother.

Alycia wished us a good weekend and left us. Mitch opened the passenger door of his car and I slipped in. He closed the door for me, then got in on the driver's side. "So," he chuckled as he started the car, "you have quite the maternal side to you, don't you?"

I smiled. "I think it's all the female hormones in the air in the school. It's hard not to mother them when they look to you to take care of them."

Mitch smiled, then looked as if he had more to say, but nothing came out, until finally he said, "Are you sure about this car? I read the Consumers Report on it and it scores really high, but if you'd like something nicer - a Volvo or a Mercedes - something like that - we can afford it."

I shook my head. "No, Mitch, you've been spending too much on me. I want to pay for this on my own. I can afford the Kia. That's what I want."

"Ok," he said, just as we were turning into the dealership lot.

"There is one thing, though," I said, not wanting to sound like too much of a failure.

"What's that?"

I sighed. "Well... you know, I was behind of my mortgage, and... well... a few other things, so... well... I don't know if my credit..."

Mitch held up his hand. "No sweat, honey. I'll co-sign, ok?"

I blinked at him. That had actually never occurred to me. I was just afraid of being embarrassed if my credit wasn't good enough. "Oh..." I muttered. "Really?"

"Of course," he laughed. "What did you think was going to happen? That I'd let you be embarrassed by a salesman?"

I shrugged. "No... I guess not. I just..."

He winked at me. "Come on. Let's go buy a car."

I'd only been in a car dealership once before, that was when Nancy had bought her car. I was uncomfortable then, and I was uncomfortable that day with Mitch. The salesman was nice enough, a very good looking man with a thick Puerto Rican accent, who sat with us and discussed the model I wanted. When I didn't ask a lot of questions, Mitch took the lead.

"She'd like it in red, do you have a red one on the lot?" He asked.

"Sure do," the salesman replied.

"Does it have all the safety features? Lane departure warning? Intelligent cruise control? Everything?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. I knew what cruise control was, but 'intelligent' didn't make much sense to me.

"I do have a red one with the safety package, yes," he said as he typed into a computer.

"Heated seats and steering wheel?"

I'd never heard of a heated steering wheel before.

The salesman grimaced. "Seats, yes. Steering wheel, no, but we can install one for you?"

"Today?" Mitch asked.

He grimaced again. "Oh, no, not today, sir. It's too late in the day..."

Mitch looked at his watch. "It's not even four o'clock. I had one installed in my car and it only took fifteen minutes."

The salesman nodded. "I understand, sir, but I could have it for you on Monday at the earliest."

Suddenly, Mitch stood. "Come on, Honey. They have what you want in Framingham. Let's go pick it up there."

"No, no!" The salesman said, nervous about loosing the sale. "Let me talk to the service department. I'll be right back."

Long story short, just after five o'clock, I drove out of the dealership in the first new car I'd ever owned. A bright red, Kia hybrid with every option available, and a lease that I could afford on my salary. Another new experience and another thing that I could not have done on my own.

Once again, I felt that weird sensation of being proud of myself.

Mom and I headed out early on Saturday morning, stopping for a nice breakfast at a local bakery. We were enjoying the ambience and the smell of the newly baked bread and pastries when we heard a familiar voice from the doorway. "Well, look at this! My little sister comes home from Hawaii and I don't see her for a week. Now, I find her cheating on me with another woman." Marie bent and kissed my cheek. "Hi, sweetie. How are you?" Then she kissed Mom's cheek, too. "Hi, Mom. Good to see you."

I was laughing at my sister's entrance, as Mom invited her to join us.

"I would love to," Marie said as she pulled out a chair and sat.

"You're up early," I said.

"I got moved to a day shift, yesterday. I was going to come by your place and tell you later. I have a new schedule, now. Tuesday through Friday, seven to five. I'm finally going to be living a normal life. Yay me!"

"Congratulations," Mom said.

I shook my head. "I doubt that you'll ever live a 'normal' life, Rie."

"Says the pot who is calling the kettle black," Marie grinned back at me. "Let's face it, Donnie, we are just a couple of weirdos who are lucky enough to have found someone who appreciates us."

I held up my cup of orange juice. "Truer words have never been spoken."

Mom laughed at us. "I love how well you two get along. I do so wish that you could reconcile with your other sisters."

"Not in this lifetime," Marie laughed.

Mom shook her head. "Maybe someday."

Rie was about to answer with another flippant remark, but I interrupted. "Maybe, Mom. Who knows."

So, of course, my twin sister decided to join us on our shopping trip, which was fine because, well, not only do I love spending time with my sister, but I got to show off my new car, too. She was appropriately impressed.

Shopping with Mom was fun. Shopping with Marie was fun. Shopping with both of them was hilarious. I must have tried on fifty dresses or more in six or seven different stores and Mom thought that each one looked beautiful while Rie had some snarky remark for each one.

I came out of the dressing room in a pretty, green gingham dress with cap sleeves and Mom clasped a hand to her heart. "Oh, Donnie, you look absolutely gorgeous in that!"

Marie immediately followed that up with, "It would be perfect if you were the teacher on 'Anne of Green Gables.'"

I came out in a nice, flowered dress, perfect for spring and Mom said, "Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, you are just a picture of the perfect teacher for little girls."

Marie chimed in with, "Norman Rockwell called and he wants the dress back."

That's how the whole morning went, but we all had a great time.

When we were done shopping, I drove Rie back to the bakery to get her car and she insisted on coming to Mitch's place to help Mom and me get things ready for our guests that evening. I did tell them why I was hosting the dinner and neither of them could wholeheartedly endorse my plan.

Mitch had gone into the office to deal with some aspects of a case that he said was giving him some problems and he came home at four forty five, almost two hours later than he'd promised, but I had plenty of help and, like I'd mentioned, something had been bothering him and I had to assume it had to do with this case.

"Mitch," Marie said, with a very judgmental tone, "how can you allow her to do this? After everything we've done to make sure that no one suspected anything, now you're just going to let her throw it all away? Are you nuts?"

Mitch laughed. "'Let her?' 'Allow her?' Do you really think that I 'allow' anything, Rie? Donnie is my wife, not my employee. We discussed this. It's important to her and if it's important to her, then it's important to me and I will support her."

Marie shook her head, a bit disgusted with both of us.

"It is a big risk," Mom said. "I love you, Donnie and, Mitch you know I love you, but... this is a big chance to take. Be sure that you tell them diplomatically."

"We will, Mom," Mitch smiled and kissed his mother's forehead. "Don't worry."

"Oh, don't worry!" Marie scoffed. "Monday morning, you'll be signing up for unemployment, but 'don't worry.' You two take the cake, you know that? The amount of effort I went through to make my scruffy, little brother into your bride, and now it's all going to be thrown away. I cannot believe that neither of you has the sense that God gave you, I really can't."

"Your objection has been noted and entered into the record," Mitch said. "Now, please, Mom... Rie... this is something that Donnie and I have discussed and we reached this decision together. I really don't want to discuss it anymore. Ok?"

Both women nodded.

Marie said quite angrily, "Ok, but the moment that they're gone, I expect a text - and I mean that. The moment they leave! Jesus, I hope that you guys know what you're doing."

At six, I went to get ready, Mitch just retired his tie and put his suit coat back on. I wore a three quarter sleeved, knit, black dress with a tight top and a loose skirt. It was pretty and plain and had a scooped neck that showed just a little cleavage. I looked in the mirror and saw how good I looked and I considered what I planned to do that evening. Was I really ready to do this? Was it the right thing to do? Was I really strong enough to do it?

All of those thoughts disappeared when I heard the doorbell ring.

"They're here, hon!" Mitch called up.

"Be right there!" I called back and then I heard the hubbub of four new voices complementing Mitch on a lovely house and thanking him for the invitation to dinner. I took a deep breath and spoke to my reflection. "You can do this, Donnie. You can do this."

"Donnie!" Jodi shouted as I came down the stairs. "Oh, darling, you look beautiful!"

"As usual," Bev, joined in. They both met me at the foot of the stairs and hugged me and kissed my cheeks. "Oh, I've missed spending time with you, dear. We must make plans to meet more regularly."

"That will be nice," I smiled, but the butterflies were taking over my stomach.

I played hostess for the first time and I enjoyed it. I brought people drinks and checked on dinner, a pork roast that was much more Mom's doing than mine, and I chatted as much as my responsibilities allowed.

"Oh, look at you with that old fashioned apron," Jodi gushed, starting to feel the buzz brought on by the quick demise of one and a half whiskey sours.

"My mother-in-law gave me this," I smiled. "It is a bit old fashioned, I guess, but I like it."

"Oh, it's adorable, sweetie," Bev smiled. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"I hear you were in the office, today, Mitch," Oscar said. "Were you able to find a placement for that..."

Mitch glanced at me and cleared his throat, loudly, "Ah, no, no, Oscar. Not yet, but I'm working on it."

I noticed that Oscar glanced at me, then seemed to understand and just nodded, letting the subject drop.

It made me feel uncomfortable to think that I wasn't being told something. Was Mitch in danger for some reason? Was he involved in something I wouldn't approve of? What was going on.

I returned to the kitchen and prepared a few plates for their food, but after a moment, I called back into the living room. "Mitch! Can you help me for a moment? I can't reach something on a top shelf."

"Sure," Mitch replied, then he came into the kitchen ready to help, but he found me with my arms folded. "What?" He asked.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

He looked around for a second, feigning innocence. "What was what about?"

"Mitch," I said, sounding a bit more frustrated than I'd intended, "obviously, Oscar thinks I know about something and you haven't told me about it. Now, what's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "One thing at a time, please, Donnie. Let's get through dinner and, if things go well and I still have a position at the firm, then we'll discuss it. If things don't go well, then... well, then, it won't matter."

My heart sank. Was I really jeopardizing something even more than Mitch's career. "Mitch, please tell me!"

He looked at me with a great sadness in his eye. "I... I can't, babe. Not right now. Later... I promise." He kissed me and hugged me, but I didn't return the hug. "I promise."

Then he left me there feeling... a little angry, a little betrayed and very confused,

At seven thirty I put the food on the table and called everyone into the formal dining room.

"Well, this is an important occasion," Mitch said. "I've owned this house for four and a half years and this is the first time that I've ever actually used this room as anything other than someplace to spread out papers."

Everyone laughed and Bob held up his glass of bourbon and said, "A toast to many more dinners in your beautiful dining room!"

"Here, here!" Everyone said and raised their glasses, too.

Mitch sat at one end of the table and I sat at the other. Bob and Oscar sat to my left and Bev and Jodi to my right, opposite their spouses.

They all devoured the pork roast, taking time between bites to compliment me on my culinary skills. I did make it clear that Mitch's mom had helped me a great deal. They ignored that though, and continued to shower me with compliments.

For dessert, I'd bought a beautiful cherry pie that I presented on a lovely pie stand that Mitch didn't even know he owned, and they all enjoyed that with some fresh brewed coffee.

By that time, the conversation had slowed a bit and everyone was nursing a very full belly.

I looked at Mitch, who raised his eyebrows in a 'It's your moment' manner, so I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, "Umm... I did want to talk to you all about something, tonight."

Bev waved me off, "If it's about the fundraiser, then let's not discuss that tonight, Donnie. We have a meeting coming up in a week or so. It can wait until then."

I shook my head, "No, it's not about the fundraiser. It's... it's something very personal that I need to share with you. With all of you and... well... I hope that... after I've shared this with you... that we can all still be friends."

Oscar cleared his throat and sat a bit straighter. "Donnie, if this is personal, then there is no reason for you to have to share it with us. We... all of us... are very fond of you and Mitch and, well, we all have done things in our past that we may want to keep private. You don't need to share anything with us that you'd rather keep to yourself."

"Well, that's the thing, you see, Oscar. I don't want to keep it to myself." I could feel the tears in my eyes, but I fought them back as I soldiered on. "You are our closest friends and I want you to know this. It's very important to me... to us... that you do."

Mitch stood up and came around the table to my side. He grabbed an extra chair and pulled it up beside mine, and he put his left arm around my shoulders and took my right hand in his right hand. "Look," he started, "I told you that Donnie and I have been friends our whole lives, but there's things about that friendship that we haven't told you."

"And perhaps those are things that we do not need to know," Bob said, uncharacteristically forcefully. "Perhaps, Mitch, there are somethings about the going-ons in peoples' private lives that do not need to be shared in public."

Mitch nodded. "But this is important to Donnie." He looked at me and smiled supportively. "Shall I just say it?"

I shook my head. "I will."

Jodi shook her head and said, "This just isn't right, Donnie, whatever it is that you're trying to say is obviously, too difficult to talk about right now, so, let's put a tack in it and come back to it sometime in the future, ok?"

"Yes, I agree," Bev nodded.

"No." I was emphatic. "Look... I truly love being friends with all of you and I really, really don't want to hurt Mitch's career, but... this needs to be said. I... I have not always been... like this."

They sat quietly and looked from one another back to me.

"I..." I couldn't find the right words.

Mitch pulled my head to his shoulder and held me protectively. "Donnie and I have been friends since we were both children. We grew up together, we played together, we did everything together. We... were boys... together."

There was silence in the room, but no one seemed as shocked as I expected.

Mitch seemed surprised, too, so he explained. "Biologically, Donnie is male."

Still nothing.

"I am," I said. "I was born a male. Mitch and I only fell in love after I became a woman."

"Well, not quite true," Mitch said. "I always had feelings for her, but... well, the point is that we thought you should know."

There was still silence. Finally, Bob said, very quietly, "I already knew, Mitchell, and I'd hoped that there would never be a reason to discuss this. It's your private business. None of us ever needed to know."

"You knew?" Jodi said to her husband, but she didn't sound, surprised.

"I did, too," said Bev.

"Me, too," admitted Oscar.

Jodi looked at them all. "Well, I did, too, but I never would have said anything."

Mitch and I looked at each other in shock. "You knew?" Mitch asked.

They all nodded.

"How?"

"Mitch," Bob smiled, "you were becoming a partner in a very powerful law firm. I had to do a background check on you and when you said you were serious about Donnie, well... you get it right?"

"And you told Oscar?" Mitch asked.

"No. As a matter of fact, I took those pages out of the report before I gave it to Oscar." Bob explained.

"He did," Oscar nodded. "I noticed that the report went from page seven to page eleven and that there was some background information missing. I figured it was just a clerical thing, so I called down to the agency that did the research and asked for a complete copy. I assumed that Bob had never read the missing pages."

"So you never told each other?" Mitch asked, amazed.

"Why would we?" Bob asked. "It didn't matter. You're a good lawyer, you guys love each other. That's all that matters."

"I figured it out on the plane," Jodi said.

"How?" I asked.

"Oh, come on, Donnie, I've known girls with little hips, but yours are not female." She laughed.

"Same here," Bev said. "When I helped you try on your gown, I knew that you hadn't even been on hormones very long. No offense, dear, but you have a little boy's ass. There's nothing there at all."

"And none of you told each other anything?" I asked. "I can't believe that."

Jodi looked at me with big, sad, slightly drunken, eyes and said, "Donnie... you're my friend. Friends protect each other. I was protecting you."

"Exactly," Bev said. "I will tell you, though, until your hips fill in a bit, I'd avoid getting naked in front of other women."

I let out a relieved laugh, "Well, neither of you gave me much choice."

"We don't care if you were a boy or a girl growing up, Donnie," Jodi smiled again me, "we love the woman that we met and we're happy that you and Mitch found each other."

"Thank you." My tears did flow, at that point.

"Mitch," Oscar said, "keeping things confidential is par for the course for us, you know that. You didn't need to tell us any of this."

Mitch nodded.

"But," Bob said, "I have to say, telling us shows us how much you trust us and, believe me, we are here to support you. That's what friends and colleagues do."

"Thank you," Mitch said to everyone assembled, relief in his voice. He hugged me hard and whispered, "You were right." That made me smile.

I looked at everyone gathered around my husband's dinning room table - MY dinning room table - and I said, "Thank you, everyone. I can't believe that you all knew and didn't even discuss it amongst yourselves."

Jodi reached over and put her hand on top of my hand, the one Mitch was already holding, "Listen, young lady, you are family now, and we take care of our family. Understood?"

I smiled. "Understood. Thank you." More family. Life just seemed to get better.

Bev picked up her drink and made a toast, "To family and to friends and to the secrets that we all keep for each other!"

"Here! Here!" Everyone else shouted as they joined the toast.

Jodi looked at me and asked, "What's the mater, honey?"

"Nothing, why?" I responded.

"You're crying, baby," Mitch said to me as he gave me another hug.

"Oh, my God, I didn't even notice!" I laughed.

Things relaxed after that and we sat at the table for another hour or more, just chatting about anything and everything other than what I'd expected to be the biggest bombshell of the day. A few questions were asked about Nancy, and I admitted that Nancy and I had been a couple for a long time.

"I suspect as much," Jodi nodded. "That was why I was going to shut her out of things at first. I was afraid that she might reveal your secret."

I shook my head. "Nancy really took it well. This isn't why we broke up, of course. I didn't become... me... until after we'd broken up. She didn't know until she spotted me out on the patio just after we'd arrived. She was very surprised, but took it all in stride."

They all left right around midnight. I had already taken a moment to text Mom and let her know that everything had gone very well, but I hadn't had the time to text Marie, yet. So, before I even headed upstairs, I took a second and sent her this text - ALL IS WELL. THEY ALL HAD FIGURED IT OUT ON THEIR OWN, BUT NO ONE HAD TOLD EACH OTHER. COOL, RIGHT?

I hit 'send,' started up the stairs and before I hit the top, my phone was ringing.

"Who's calling so late?" Mitch asked from behind me.

"Rie," I laughed. I pushed the 'answer' icon and before I could even say 'hello,' my sister's voice blasted into my ear.

"How the hell did they figure it out on their own!? That's bull! I had you perfectly disguised. No one could have figured it out!"

I explained everything to her and she calmed down. "Ok, the background check we probably should have seen coming, but how could I ever have anticipating you getting naked in front of two total strangers."

"I didn't get NAKED," I insisted.

"Obviously you were naked enough for them to see your scrawny little butt," Rie scoffed. "Honest to God, Donnie, I can only do so much for you. If you are going to insist on behaving like a slut, then there's nothing more I can do."

I tried to defend myself from her comic attack. "Hey, hey, hey, I am no slut and you..."

Marie pushed right on, "I don't know what else I would call someone who galavants around an airplane naked letting other people see he tush. It's a good thing I love you or you'd be in big trouble."

"I love you, too, Rie. Kiss Hilda for me."

"Well, I am certainly not letting you get anywhere near my wife, you unabashed hussy." She was wound up and I knew she wouldn't let up as long as I was still on the line.

"Good night, Rie. I love you," I said with some authority.

"Good night, baby girl. Talk to you tomorrow." She disconnected.

"Sounds like she was on a roll," Mitch laughed as he began to prepare for bed.

"Yep," I laughed. "I think she was pretty nervous about everything all night. She was pretty revved up."

"That's because she loves you." Mitch hung his jacket on his mahogany suit stand, a furniture item I only knew exited because of old TV shows and movies, and went into the lavatory to continue disrobing.

"She loves us," I shouted back. "She was really scared. So was I, but... I guess it worked out."

Mitch emerged with his pajama bottoms on and his suit pants folded neatly over his arm, having thrown the rest of his ensemble into the hamper that resided in the lavatory. He hung the pants on the suit rack as well, then stopped and kissed my forehead. "It did. And thank goodness, because I really didn't want to leave."

My jaw dropped. "Then why did you let me say anything!?"

He smiled. "Because I love you and because it was important to you to be honest with them."

I was still shocked. "Mitch... I asked you if it was ok... Come on, if your job was that important to you, then you should have told me not to say anything."

He laughed. "Why are we having this discussion, Donnie? You needed to tell them. What you need is much more important than any job I will ever have. I love you – end of story. Come on, now... let’s go to bed."

He was right, of course, but... Then I remembered Oscar’s conversation with Mitch earlier. "Mitch?"

He looked at me and grunted a ‘huh?’

"You told me earlier that you’d tell me what was bothering you about this case you were working on. I know that Oscar tried to ask you a question about it earlier, but you didn’t want to talk about it in front of me. Can you tell me now?"

Mitch’s shoulders slumped. "Do we need to do that right now, Donnie? It’s awfully late. Can’t it wait until tomorrow?"

I shrugged. "I guess, but... never mind."

Mitch sighed at my pouting. "Ok, look... There is an issue with this case and I’ve been saddled with finding a resolution and it’s... complicated, but... I might have a solution, but it involves some... sacrifice... and I’m not sure I can ask the person who’d have to make that sacrifice if she is up to it at this time."

I blinked at the evasive nature of what he’d said. "A sacrifice? Like... what? Like in King Kong when they chained a woman up for the ‘King of the Jungle?’"

He shook his head and snickered. "No. Nothing that dramatic, but... look... this will be easier if I just show you the problem and tell you the proposed solution. Go get ready for bed and I’ll grab my briefcase. I’ll show you in bed."

He looked upset and I felt bad that I was responsible for that, but if this was this big a deal, I thought I needed to know what was up. Who knows? Maybe I could even help. I may not be a lawyer, but I’m not a complete moron.

I rushed my evening routine, washing quickly and not spending as much time as usual moisturizing. It only took me about twenty minutes until I was crawling into bed beside Mitch, who was sitting up against the headboard and had his briefcase on his lap.

"All set?" Mitch asked.

I put my pillow against the headboard, too, sat back and nodded.

Mitch took a breath and said, "Ok, now, look, honey... typically, I am not able to share the details of my work with you, you understand that, right?"

I nodded again.

He thought for a moment, then continued, "Ok... well... this is a very different situation." He pulled out a photo of a very old and very ill looking woman. "This is Evelyn Montgomery. She is one of the wealthiest women in this part of New England and she is about to enter hospice. We’re trying to get her estate in order for her, but there are problems."

"Oh, the poor woman," I said, taking the photo from Mitch. "Is there a family battle over her money or something?"

Mitch raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "Not a battle, per se... here’s the thing – Evelyn’s husband passed away quite sometime ago. They had three children together and two of those three have already passed away. Their daughter, Roxanne, died of brain cancer in her teens and their son, William, was killed back in August in a car accident."

Mitch handed me pictures of each of them as he spoke.

"What happened to the other child?" I asked.

Mitch handed me another photo. This was a mug shot of a man. "This is Roland," Mitch explained. "Roland is in prison serving three life sentences for murdering his wife, his son and his son’s wife. He also attempted to kill his son’s infant daughter. Luckily, this son," he pointed to the picture of the son named William, "was visiting his mother’s house where Roland and his son, and the rest were living. He heard the commotion upstairs and broke down the door in time to save the baby."

"Oh, my God," I muttered. "How horrible. What happened to the baby?"

"William took her in and was raising her as his own," Mitch explained. "That was almost eight years ago and the little girl doesn’t even remember her real parents. As far as she was concerned, William, her great uncle, was the only father she ever knew. She was devastated by his death."

"So," I was getting anxious about the welfare of this child, "who is watching her now?"

"That’s the problem. Evelyn has had her since August," Mitch said those words and my heart sank to my toes. "See, when William died, Evelyn was a very spray, seemingly very healthy, ninety two year old who could easily take care of a seven year old child, but then... well, in October she started looking a bit jaundiced and she went to the doctor and, well, liver cancer moves quickly, especially in a ninety two year old."

I shook my head. "That poor baby. So... what’s going to happen to her?"

Mitch sighed. "There is no other family and the last thing Evelyn wants is to have the child become a ward of the state. Last week, she came up with an idea to ask a man that she knows, a man she regards as her confidant, to take the child in and raise her... to adopt her."

"And will he?" I asked, looking at the woman. What a tragic way for her long life to end. So much sorrow.

"Well... it’s complicated..." Mitch explained as he handed me a picture of a beautiful child in a private school uniform, similar to the ones my students wore. It looked like a typical ‘first day of school’ kind of picture. The child’s smile was wide and her joy was evident. The poor baby. "See, the man she asked has no experience at all with children and, to tell you the truth, he’s only recently married and isn’t one hundred percent confident that this is the right thing for him to do."

I shook my head. "What does his wife think?"

He shrugged. "He’s afraid you talk to her about it."

"Oh, for crying out loud," I said in disgust, "why!? If they don’t take the child in, she’s going to end up in some horrible facility or bounce from foster home to foster home! So, this son of bitch is making you find someplace to place this poor little..." Suddenly I realized what an idiot I was. My head shot to my right and I look straight at Mitch. "She asked you, didn’t she?"

He nodded and for the first time ever, I think he was actually ashamed of himself.

"Mitch...!?" I was dumbfounded. "Why on earth would you be afraid to talk to me about this?"

He looked as if he might cry. "Donnie... what do we know about raising a little girl who has been through this much sadness? We have no experience with kids. I’m an only child, you’re the youngest... What if we make a mistake, Donnie?"

I shook my head. "But... we talked about adopting?"

"Yeah," Mitch sounded almost desperate, "in a year or two. I figured we could learn and babies... everyone makes mistakes with babies. It’s a learning curve. This scares me, Donnie. What if we make a mistake with her? She’s been through so much already. I just don’t know. What do you think? Do you think we could do it?"

"Mitch, yes! Yes! Yes! I know we can do it! Your Mom is right across the street, Mitch! My sister and sister-in-law are around the corner! Yes, Mitch! Not only CAN we do it, he HAVE to do it, Mitch. Please. Don’t say ‘no’ to this. We have a beautiful house, we love each other, we have a family that loves us... let’s just add this poor little girl to our family and help her to lead a happy life? Oh, my God, Mitch, just look at her, she’s gorgeous and she needs us. Please, don’t say no to her."

He nodded. "I don’t want to, honey, I really don’t, but... we need to talk about this tomorrow – like... all day tomorrow. Talk it out in a calm, level headed manner. If we take her in and we aren’t ready for all the responsibilities that come with that, then we can do more damage than I can even imagine. Ok? A calm... level headed discussion. Ok?"

"Ok," I agreed and handed the pictures back to Mitch, but I held back the final one. The one of her looking so happy in her school uniform. "Have you met her?"

Mitch nodded. "I’ve known her her whole life. Her father and I played golf together."

I shook my head. "The poor baby. What’s her name."

Mitch put his briefcase down on the floor and turned to kiss me goodnight. "Good night, babe. I love you."

What the hell!? I knew that he’d heard me. "I love you, too, Mitch, but...?"

"What?" He asked.

"What is the little girl’s name?" I asked.

He slumped again, then looked at me. It took at least five seconds for him to speak... "Marie."

"MITCH!"
 
 
To Be Continued...

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Comments

Not So Very Odd

Having been raised female... Very good writing...

And then Donnie needs to become a mother...

Lucy Perkins's picture

As I may have mentioned a time or two, this is my absolute favourite Clara story. I love all the characters, every one, as if they were my own family.
And I absolutely love the way that this story transitions from a sweet "best friends to lovers" story, into a "how can she cope with an adopted child" story. In some ways it feels as if the story has changed direction, but in fact it is all about the woman that Donnie has become. Beautiful inside and out.
Lucy xx

"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."

"Marie."

aww, I hope they can adopt her!

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