Friending Jane Austen: Chapters 15 - 17

 

Friending Jane Austin Chapters 15 - 17 By Tara Nicole Miller Copyright © 2024 Tara Nicole Miller All Rights Reserved. Word Count 6,000

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Image Credit: From Adobe Stock Photos - Three women in vintage attire with braided hair, posing for a selfie. By Irina Kozel
 

Before we headed out for cheer practice, we Collins’ all had breakfast together. I love Saturdays. I didn’t used to, because that meant my former father was home all flipping day giving me flak and I had nothing to do but hate myself and my life. Now, here we all were, my new mom and dad and Candace and me, having a wonderful breakfast and chatting and laughing and… sigh. Bliss.

“Mom, Dad,” I began, relishing in those words referring to these two wonderful people, “I’ve got some preliminary paperwork for my little clothes shop in The Center on Colfax and I was wondering if you could look them over and maybe mark them up, you know, make some notes and stuff. I wanna make sure I do this right.”

Dad waved his piece of toast in the air. “I guess that would be me; I’m the business half of this relationship.” He looked over at mom.

Mom blurted, “Hey! I took business law, too, you know!” Then she stole his toast and took a bite with a wink.

“Yeah, and I took abnormal psychology as an undergrad; what’s your point?” Dad parried.

“Fair enough,” mom acquiesced. “You’re a little go-getter aren’t you, Kayla?”

I blushed. “I don’t know about that, but I do know that I’ve never had the chance to do anything that I cared about before. It’s weird. I don’t think I actually cared about anything before. I think when you’re living a lie in a repressive environment, it’s hard, you know? To care?” I tried to explain my feelings.

“I actually get it.” Mom said. “I work with the oppressed and downtrodden all the time and I see that phenomenon at work. It’s a horrible cycle. I’m glad you’re out of it now. I’m really glad you’re here.” She smiled and reached for my hand.

“Hear, hear,” dad concurred while I blushed to my little tennis shoes.

Candace gave me a hug and a big smile. “I agree. Shall we go get ready for practice?”

I gave mom and dad a hug around their shoulders and whispered a ‘thank you’ into their ears. Candace and I rinsed our dishes and put them in the dishwasher and headed outside. Candace turned around. “Mom? I forgot, do we have anything for snacks for the girls?” Mom put up a finger and walked to the cabinet, pulling out a basket of fruit and a box of power bars. Cool. I love this place.

The girls all trickled in over the next several minutes and we had our full complement, sans the ‘bitch brigade,’ by nine o’clock. I had been practicing to the videos Candace sent to me and the other freshman hopefuls. Working out in the basement gym had gotten me in pretty good shape over two months. Well, mostly the stair stepper, but I did some strength training, too. Candace had also helped me with my flips and roundoffs and such, so I was ready to go. At least I hoped so. Now we all just have to synch up and get on the same page.

God, it was so fun. Two girls that are gonna be seniors this year took over the practice. A tall one named Denise and one a little bit taller than me, probably 5’3” or 4”, named Bridgette. We went for like two hours. We started just by running through all of last years cheers, then focused on one for the rest of the time. It was crazy how good we got that one in just one practice. Even the freshmen had it down. We were gonna kick some butt this year - well, if I make the squad it’ll be we.

We all went to the fridge and got our juices. Candace cracked me up when she yelled into the house, “Seriously Mom? Juice boxes? We’re not eight!” I could hear mom and dad laughing, were they still in the kitchen? Apparently they enjoy watching us on weekends when they’re around. That’s pretty neat. My old parental people didn’t give a furry rat’s tuchus what I was doing unless they wanted something, or they wanted to berate me, a favorite pastime of theirs. The brave new world continues to flourish. Yay me!

The practice broke up and Candace and I went to shower and get ready for some power shopping. I didn’t really need anything anymore, but that’s not really the point is it? Verity was gonna join all us cheerleaders for our afternoon extravaganza. She may not always act girly, but she has no trouble looking as girly as the rest of us. And to look girly, one must shop girly!

I kinda felt sorry for the store clerks, as we were like a giggling estrogen-fuelled teenage cyclone leaving a path of polyester destruction in our wake. It was so much fun, though! I must have tried on fifty outfits, but only bought one since I have a closet full of really nice stuff already. But that was all stuff that was given to me. It was nice to be able to pick something out all on my own. All the other girls bought lots more stuff than me, because they all had money for school shopping. Well, I did, too, but I already had an embarrassment of riches, so…

The one outfit I got was a really pretty jumpsuit that I thought would be perfect for back-to-school day. Should I wear heels? I really wanted to, but I also wanted to fit in. There were some girls that wore heels in middle school, but not a lot. I never picked up on any snarkiness about it, but I wasn’t exactly in the ‘in’ crowd, was I?

So, anyway, I still had most of my $500 clothing stipend burning a hole in my purse, when we passed a store that most girls would just pass by with perhaps a thoughtless giggle. A mastectomy shop, or cancer shop, or whatever it’s called. I kinda felt guilty, since I just wanted to look like the other high school girls. I wasn’t going through the harrowing and dread disease of cancer. I was kinda embarrassed, so I just snuck off as all the other girls continued down toward the food court.

My wallet was $200 lighter when I came out with very realistic B cup breasts nestled in my bra. I really wanted to get C cups, but it would look kinda strange if I suddenly showed up at Taco Bell all curvaceous and buxom. These breasts were the kind you can glue on and I was certainly going to do that so I wouldn’t have to worry about my girls falling out of my bra while cheering for our Wildcats. Ooh, I’m counting my chickens, aren’t I? I have to admit, I was feeling pretty good about my chances of making the squad.

My phone began playing “You Need to Calm Down,” indicating that I had an incoming text. It was from Susan at ‘The Center.’ It read: ‘Got a donation from a successful trans girl who wants to remain anonymous. Heard about your store idea and loved it, so donated $10,000!’ OMG! Wonder how she found out? No matter, we can now go full steam ahead with all our plans! I replied: ‘OMG! That’s amazing, Susan! I’ll start looking for retail fixtures asap. Thanks!’

Apparently I was bouncing up and down as I was tapping on my phone. Candace and Verity were bemused and V, in her inimitable way, asked “What the fuck, girl?”

I was grinning from ear to ear. “We got a donation! For the store! I can get everything now!” Hugs were forthcoming.

So, that kept me pretty busy the following week. I didn’t want to waste any money, so I scoured the city for the best deals I could find. There was no shortage of volunteers, but it was kinda funny how many girls wore dresses and heels to move all the fixtures around and build the fitting rooms. I guess if you have so very few opportunities to be your true self you take advantage when you can. Myself, I was wearing my standard knock-around attire of leggings and a t-shirt over my falsies, while sporting a bouncy ponytail. Today, it was my Taylor Swift Eras Tour t-shirt. So many of the girls were jealous until I told them I didn’t actually get to go to a concert. I didn’t have any money until recently, and even so, my old parental units would have balked at my being a Swifty!

We were playing a playlist of a bunch of female empowerment songs while we worked away. It was so much fun! I got to know some of the girls, but am ashamed to say I was a bit nervous and stand-offish around the more masculine-looking ones. Maybe if I got to know them better it wouldn’t matter what they looked like. I’m still only fifteen and have a lot of work to do on myself and my preconceptions, I guess. Jeez, if I’ve got annoying shreds of looksism, how do I expect Joe and Josephine Sixpack to be a bit more woke? I was so mad at myself!

Everything was now in place and the last thing to be done was painting and putting up the sign. The racks weren’t full by any means, but it was a good start. Maybe with the extra money we (I almost said ‘I’ until I remembered this was a ‘we’ project - thanks Candace!) we can canvas the city for more clothing. I need to talk to someone about getting an online presence for donations. That would be the most efficient way to go about getting more stock. I also want to get some shapewear for the less endowed girls. Gosh, my breastforms were $200, and that’s pretty impossible for a lot of these girls. This is gonna take some serious cash. I was thanking my lucky stars for the woman who donated all that money!

The next day, we had cheer practice which was always amazing. Tryouts were coming up and I was starting to feel pretty confident. Confidence is a new feeling for me and I almost didn’t recognize it when it decided to pay me a visit. Commitment, preparation, and hard work - oh, and finally having a sense of self - all these seemed to contribute to that feeling of confidence in me. I also mustn’t forget the camaraderie, or esprit de corps, as Candace would say.

After practice, most of the girls wanted to come to The Center and help with the finishing touches on our little clothing shop. I was touched by their acceptance of me and their willingness to help me and the community. I’ll be honest, I just wanted to be a regular girl, but I was indeed part of the LGBTQIA, or Pride, community and I was becoming more and more willing to accept that role. So many people knew about my past and my, erm, birth defect, that there was no way to enter high school in stealth mode, so I had to embrace it. And, brace for inevitable negative reactions from people that didn’t know me. Shudder.

I was spray painting the lockers a pretty pink when I thought of our ugly gray lockers at school. It would be so nice to have them be a pretty color and not so institutional. Not gonna ask to paint them pink, though! Giggle. Could you see big football players putting their jackets and books into a pretty pink locker? Not gonna happen. Maybe turquoise? Oooh, our school colors are purple and silver, so maybe…

None of us girls had changed from our workout clothes since we were gonna get dirty and sweaty anyways, so we caused quite a stir around the place. Some young trans girls were asking us all kinds of questions and just being so cute, that got me to thinking, which can be a dangerous thing sometimes. What if we also had dolls and other girly toys for the younger girls? Even older girls, I can attest to that, that have never had a doll would probably love the opportunity to finally have one, even if they had to keep it secreted away in a locker here at The Center. I mentioned this to one of the older women and she had told me that she’s never had a Barbie doll and even she would love one at her age! Yep, I’m gonna put a little section in the corner for toys. A little table for tea parties or just playing and hopefully we’ll have enough for them to keep one or two. I think a sense of ownership is important; something just one’s own to have and to hold, even if just for an hour or two when they can visit The Center. Yes, I’m gonna hit Goodwill - they always have lots of toys to buy real cheap!

The next two weeks were gonna be pretty eventful. Cheer tryouts were coming up as was the grand opening of the store. Then there’s registering for school and all that entails. I was grateful for the pool party after our Saturday cheer practice. It was a chance to chill and relax (I hate the cringeworthy word ‘chillax’ btw!) and take a pause with my girlies and just have a good time. My glued on breast forms seemed to be holding up fine. I wasn’t real confident that they would appear real enough, so I wore a nice one-piece suit. All the girls know about me, so I’m sure they understood why I wasn’t sporting a bikini like the rest of them. When are my own breasts going to start growing? It’s only been like two months, but I was so tempted to start downing two of Verity’s birth-control pills to try and speed up the process. But I’m a sensible girl; well, most of the time. I actually started taking supplements I found on Amazon that are supposed to encourage breast growth, so, yeah, I guess I’m taking some chances.

Steph’s dad was grilling burgers and dogs for us and her mom made potato salad and other stuff, so we were going to be well fed. Having friends is just so cool. In my old life, I would have been at home, hiding in my room, surreptitiously reading trans fiction under the covers. Now I’m living the dream!

And I was lost in a daydream, twirling my straw, watching the sunlight glint off of my pretty pink fingernails when a hefty weight plopped down beside me on the picnic bench. “Hey,” the hefty weight said. “You’re Kayla, right?” Ooh, he’s cute.

“Yes…” I murmured, stunned by this welcome intrusion. Where did he come from?

“I’m, uh, Brian, Stephanie’s brother. Um, you’re gonna be a freshman this year too, right? I think that’s what she said. I mean, I’m not stalking you or anything, unless you find that attractive in a guy?” Gosh, he’s even cute when he rambles. I let out a little giggle.

“Yeah, I’ll be a freshman. You too?” I asked hopefully.

“Yep. Gonna be on the JV football squad, too. I hear you’re a cheerleader. That’s awesome!”

“Thanks, but I still gotta make the squad. Tryouts are this week. I feel pretty good about it, though.” I offered.

“I’m kinda embarrassed to admit this,” he began, “but I was watching you girls practice earlier. I think you’re gonna be a shoo-in. God, I promise, I’m not a stalker!” He smiled a gorgeous, slightly crooked smile.

“Oh, dang, that’s too bad. I’m kinda into stalkers.” I quipped with a wry smile of my own.

“Hey, can I get you a Coke?” He asked, his bushy eyebrows rising.

“Um, sure, a Diet Pepsi?” I relayed, and he was already getting up. “Thanks.”

“You got it, babe!” Babe? Weird, but I liked it.

Stephanie sat down real quick in Brian’s vacated spot. “Is he bugging you?” I looked at her dreamily and she continued, “Oh god, please tell me you don’t have a thing for my brother. He’s a real pain.”

“He seems nice to me. And he’s cute!” I whispered.

“Is he? I guess, in a pain-in-the-ass sort of way. Here he comes, gotta go!” And she was off. As they crossed paths she said to him, “You be nice to Kayla, butthead, or you’ll have me to answer to!”

He was chuckling as he sat down. “She must like you, she’s like a mama bear when she gets protective.”

“Aww, that’s sweet. Yeah, I like Stephanie a lot; she’s taught me a lot, too. She’s really cool.” I said.

“I guess. In a pain-in-the-ass sorta way.” He grinned.

“Omigod, that’s what she said about you, too. That must be your familial idiom.” I pontificated.

“Family what now?” He asked, his face contorting in a quizzical configuration.

“Don’t worry, I’m not that smart. Candace taught me about that when I joined her family. It’s just words and phrases unique to your family.” I explained.

“Oh, I thought you were Candace’s sister.”

I answered, “Well, I am, but I’m adopted. It’s been exactly 72 days since I joined the family.”

“You sound like you joined the mafia or something.” He said in a serious tone.

I giggled. “Yeah. You better be careful or you’re gonna swim with the fishes!” His eyebrow went up. “Are you a good swimmer?” I tried to recover from my terrible Don Corleone impression.

He shook his head to clear it of my nonsense, then he did a quick nod. “Yeah, I suppose. I swim like every day. It’s cool we have our own pool. Our school doesn’t have a swim team, though, so that kinda sucks.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” I sympathized.

“Yeah. I might try out in college, though.”

“Isn’t there like a private swim club you could join?” I wondered.

“Woah! I never thought of that! Be right back!” He stood and bellowed, “Hey, mom!” I just giggled and smiled as he dashed away.

I took a quick dip to cool off before the burgers were done. I don’t know if it’s true, but evidently you’re supposed to wait an hour after eating before going swimming. I didn’t want to take any chances. I was wishing I had on a bikini, because my tan was gonna be weird. Maybe at home I can lie out to even it out. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Brian sat down across from me with his overflowing plate and we chatted for awhile. I really like him. But then I remembered who I was. I doubt Steph told him and he would probably be totally weirded out, so… I guess I need to rein in the hormones that seem to be working quite well on the boy front at the very least. Boys like to do stuff that I’m not ready for. So, yeah. Definitely need to cool it. “You wanna go out sometime?” Brian asked. Well, shit.

“Look Brian,” I began. “I think you’re a really great guy…”

“Oh jeez, I’m so stupid. Of course you have a boyfriend already. I mean, just look at you.” He said, causing me to blush.

Ooh, that’s a perfect out, but I don’t like to lie. Gaah! Well, he’s gonna find out soon enough, so here goes nothin’ - “No, it’s not that. It’s just that I’m um, trans.” I cringed, expecting some sort of backlash or disgust or something otherwise soul-wrenching.

“Well, yeah, I know that. I mean, I’d never have known if I didn’t overhear the girls. I still find it hard to believe, but I don’t see why that should keep you from dating? I mean, you’re really pretty and really smart and humble and funny and just really cool.” He enumerated.

Wow. Um. Ok. Now what? “That’s really nice of you to say,” I blushed, “but I really have to ask my mom. I’ve never dated before. I think I’m allowed, I mean, I just turned fifteen, but I don’t know. I’ve actually never even thought about it.” Well, that’s not totally true. I’ve daydreamed about boys and getting married and wearing a beautiful white dress and being a mom and all that stuff, but that’s all been just fantasy. Up to now, that is. I just realized how embarrassing it is to admit you’ve never thought of dating as a real possibility before. He didn’t seem to pick up on it, though.

“Okay.” He said. “That’s totally cool. If you think you’d like to go out sometime, hopefully with me, yeah, ask your mom. No pressure. You wanna exchange numbers and stuff? We can text or something.” He laughed. “I just realized that might be just a touch of pressure.”

I giggled. “No, that’s totally fine. You wanna enter your info in my phone? I have to ask about this too. I’m a total newbie when it comes to this stuff. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to text or friend a boy!”

So, that was weird. In a good way, though.

“Of course you can date,” Mom said after I got home and cornered her in the kitchen. “Girls always have to be very careful what kind of boy they’re going out with and you doubly so. I’m sorry to say, hon, but your situation calls for extreme caution in today’s world. It’s always been dangerous for trans girls, but lately…” She trailed off, grimacing. “But, you say this Brian already knows about you?”

I smiled. “Yeah, and he doesn’t seem to care, which is so cool!”

“He sounds like an unusual boy.” She offered.

“You think? Yeah, I guess. Since I don’t know how boys think, it’s hard to know, but I guess I can see them being funny about this sort of thing. My late father, Mr. Greenlee, seemed to think it’s a horrible thing. Abominable even.” I shuddered. I had taken to considering my former parents as dead to me. Yes, death is sad, but you eventually move on. Being that they almost succeeded in driving me to my own death, I can’t say I’m sorry to see them gone. Does that make me a bad person?

“Sweetie,” She said, giving my hand a little squeeze, “I don’t think you’re going to know how a boy is going to react unless you get to know him first, or a lovely happenstance like with Brian. He’s your friend’s brother and he likes you and he knows about you. You had a whole afternoon of interaction. I think all systems are go with this boy, but I’d still like you to have him over to meet me and your dad, okay? Just to, you know, give him our seal of approval.”

“I can’t wait. I always thought it was so funny, you know, like in movies? The father is always so menacing to the poor boy. I think I like just knowing that you guys care.” I paused, quickly running over my sordid past in my mind. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be the rebellious sort, if that’s what you were hoping.” I gave her a little grin.

“Oh, don’t you worry about that. Candace has all the bases covered! We’re good on that front!”

“Hey, if you think Candace is a handful, you should try Verity on for size. She can be a bit…”

“Yes she can!” Mom giggled. “We’ve had Verity in our lives for nigh on ten years, so we’re well aware. Her bark is worse than her bite, though, and we love her to death. Sweetie, rebel all you want if you feel the need. It’s a parent’s job to put down the insurrection, or die trying!” She laughed.

I gave her a hug. “Thanks Mom.” Then I leaned back a little. “I just remembered that Brian would like to text and stuff. Would that be okay?”

“Sure, sweetie, but not after lights out, no sexting, and don’t let him or your phone become your life. Remember to be your own person. It can be too easy for a girl to lose herself in a relationship, okay?” She looked at me earnestly.

That sounded like sage advice. But, sexting? Seriously? I resumed our hug. “Okay. Thanks, Mom. Thanks for caring and… just, thanks.”

So I ran to my room and immediately texted Brian. Am I being too eager? It’s so exciting, though! A boy likes me! I did the speech to text thing and told him, “My mom says I can date and I can text and phone and all that! My parents want to meet you, though, before we go on a date. ‘Kay?” That’s the cool thing about texting, I’ve found; you can edit before you say something stupid. I noticed I didn’t even say anything about meeting him, so I went to the beginning of my message and added, “It was really nice meeting you today. I had a lot of fun.” Nope, delete that last part, it makes me sound like a little girl. Um, “I enjoyed our conversation.” Does that work? Gaah!

I went through about twelve permutations and finally sent my text some twenty minutes later. I really need more practice with this texting business. I went to put my phone down and I got a text alert. It’s Brian! “Cool! I enjoyed hanging out with you today, too. I’ll call tomorrow; maybe we can do something?”

“Okay, yes, I would like that.” I think that’s okay to say, right?

“Cool. TTYL.”

“G’night Brian.” I texted and fell back onto my bed. Omigod, that was terrifying! But exciting! I ran to Candace’s room. There was light seeping through below her door, so I rapped lightly. “Candace, it’s me.” I announced.

“Come in me.” She giggled.

I slipped through the door and flew over to her bed and plopped down. “Omigod, omigod, omigod!” I began, and thus commenced an hour-long gigglefest based primarily on boys.

I got my call from Brian while I was at The Center making sure everything was go for our grand opening Friday night. That’s the night management picked and I was cool with that. Every day is pretty much the same during summer. “Hey, Kayla. How’s your day going?” He opened.

“Hi Brian! Busy, but good. Did I tell you about the store I’m opening?”

“No, seriously? That’s amazing! What kinda store?” He asked.

“It’s clothing, for girls like me.” I said.

“Oh, do you need special clothes?” He asked and I giggled.

“No, silly, it’s just hard for trans girls starting out to have any girl clothes at all. It’s a safe space and we provide donated clothes at little to no cost. Trans girls often have a hard time getting a job, or they’re maybe too young to have a job and their parents often don’t even know about their true gender. It’s often a secret they feel has to be kept for one reason or another.”

“Gosh, I never knew. That’s terrible.” He commiserated.

“Yeah.” What more could I say?

“So, I was thinking maybe we could go see a movie sometime? Would that be cool?” He asked.

“I’d like that. Um, I’m free pretty much any time except Friday - that’s our grand opening.”

“Okay, how ‘bout Saturday afternoon?” He tried.

“Oh, duh, Saturday is cheer tryouts, I forgot about that. Shoot.”

“That’s okay. What time? Maybe I can come watch and we could do something after?”

Gosh, do I want him watching? I would be so nervous! “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” I shrugged to myself. I really wanted to see him, so…

So, we planned on Saturday and he would drive me and his sister and Candace to the school for tryouts. That’s so nice of him! Anyhow, it was inevitable that Friday would finally come and when it did I was loaded with nervous energy. Mom took off work early just for me! Candace and Verity were going to come, too. They are the best of BFFs. Thank god they were there to distract me, because I was practically bouncing off the walls.

At three, the three of us ran upstairs to check our looks. I decided to wear my little hip and butt padded panties just to give me a little bit more shape. A lot of girls my age are still lithe but for some reason I wanted to look especially girly. I had full makeup on with cute hoop earrings and I decided to wear a dress. Just a cute sundress that was especially feminine, along with pantyhose and three-inch strappy heels. I guess I wanted to show off for all the other girls like me, is that so wrong? I giggled to myself. At least I thought it was to myself.

“What are you so happy about, Boardroom Barbie?” Verity asked.

“I was just thinking about how I wanna knock some socks off, whaddya think?” I did a little twirl.

She rolled her eyes. “You are such a girl! Okay girly girl, yes, you look amazing. Happy?”

I just laughed and gave her a hug. Then we giggled our way down the stairs. Mom was in the kitchen. “You look beautiful, Kayla.” She said and gave me a hug. I blushed, then she continued. “So, do they have food there, or should we bring something to munch on?”

“I think there’s just a vending machine; maybe we should pack sandwiches? Course there’s restaurants all over the place down there. Maybe we can steal a few minutes and get Mickey D’s or something. Ooh, maybe tacos?”

“I like that idea,” Mom said. “I can just run out and get us all something, that way you all can stay for the doings whatever they may be. Is there going to actually be a ribbon cutting or a party or anything?” She asked.

“You know? I have absolutely no idea! I was just gonna show up. What kind of manager am I gonna be if I don’t even know what’s going on?”

Mom pulled me into a hug. “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. You’re new to all this, you’ll get the hang of it. You’ve done amazing things so far.”

“Thanks mom.” I squeezed her back.

When we got to The Center, it looked like they were setting up for something. I suppose Friday nights are a big deal with a lot of folks getting off work for the week and looking to go to their safe zone for being their true selves. I looked above the door to the store and there was my sign: Kayla’s Closet. I was so proud. We were early, so I pulled out my key and opened up the store.

Mom gasped. “Oh my! It’s absolutely adorable! I want to come down here and play myself!” She smiled. “You’ve done a spectacular job, Kayla. It looks so professional, and, wow, so girly!” She laughed. “Won’t the boys feel slighted?”

I tried to explain. “There really aren’t that many guys that come here for some reason. Plus, it’s quite a bit easier for them to find and throw on boy clothes and just blend into the world. It’s a man’s world, after all, right? They often pass better and they’re not quite as harassed as the girls are. I guess people think it’s better to be a boy or something. I know tomboys have it better than sissies. I’m here to tell you that firsthand. But, I really don’t know all the thinking that goes on in the cis world.” I rambled, somewhat incoherently. It’s all just so confusing!

“It’s terrifying for a boy, or a so-called boy, to shop for girl’s clothes, but, for masculine girls it’s a piece of cake, almost no stigma, know what I mean?” I tried.

“I think you’re right. Oh, Kayla, you haven’t had it easy have you?” Mom gave me a hug.

“Don’t make me cry, it’ll ruin my makeup!” I giggle-sniffed.

Someone had set up an actual shindig for the grand opening and there must have been fifty people here by five o’clock! There were even a few guys. They didn’t seem to have any problem going in and looking around the store. Sometimes you don’t know if someone is a regular cis-guy or gay or a cross-dresser in drab mode or a female to male trans guy. You just gotta treat people what they look like I think. Or, what they’re intending to look like. Whatever; I could get myself tied up in knots!

I manned (womaned?) the till for a couple hours when I was relieved by my assistant for the evening. We had several girls who had volunteered and we had a schedule all figured out. Going forward, the store would only open if there was someone to man the cash register and keep an eye out. I don’t think we have a plan for shoplifters, I mused. I’m assuming we just allow it. What else could we do? They must need it pretty bad if they’re willing to steal, at least that’s my thinking.

We didn’t really have strict pricing or anything, just a suggested donation amount. We all decided that was the best way to go. We just had to hope the clothing donations kept rolling in. So far, it seemed to be going pretty well. Tomorrow, I would ask the cheerleaders for their help again. Omigod, I have tryouts tomorrow, and Brian’s gonna be there! Okay, focus, girl. Breathe.

So, around six, Mom brought us three girls McDonald’s. She said it was easier to handle than Taco Bell. I suppose she’s right, I know how to make a proper mess when I have tacos. It’s a talent of mine. They’re so good though! We hung around until closing, which was at eight. It turned out that we got quite a few monetary donations. Very few left without paying anything, so all in all a good opening night, I think. So many were just so pleased to have a safe, welcoming place to acquire clothing for themselves without fear. The lockers actually had several girls that purchased locks to store their clothing on site. I know all about that fear and I would have taken the bus here every day if they had had such a store back in my bleaker days. I couldn’t help but be proud of the fact that we helped so many girls tonight. I so wished the center was open on weekends. I would have to ask what we would have to do to try to make that happen.

The sun was low in the sky as we drove back home. Mom and Candace and Verity all had a good time and they all said they learned so much while they were at The Center. It was enlightening for me, too. We all had a good cry at the wall of remembrance. So many girls killed just for expressing their true gender. Too many died by their own hand as well. I admit, I had nearly been at the end of my own rope a few times. I’m glad mom and the girls were able to come and learn about our community.

We were all quiet and sober and thoughtful. A lot to think about.

Omigosh, a whole new day tomorrow with cheer tryouts and a date! I don’t know what Brian and I will do, but I hope I’ll be doing it as a newly minted cheerleader!

To be continued…