Friending Jane Austin Chapters 10-12 By Tara Nicole Miller Copyright © 2024 Tara Nicole Miller All Rights Reserved. Word Count 5,000

I Ubered my way back home and let myself into the house. There was nobody home, which was a weird feeling. This was my first time alone in my new home. So I just grabbed a Diet Pepsi^TM and a glass of ice and wandered down to the home theater. Plopping on the sofa cross-legged, I pulled out my phone and texted Verity.

Kayla - Hey U! Whatcha?
Verity - Bored as hell - doing nuttin. Reading mags
Kayla - C’mon over then - I m home alone and bored 2
Verity - On my way!

Verity showed up two minutes later. I was waiting for her, so I just opened the door when she stepped up onto the front porch, startling her. I giggled and went immediately for the hug - she squeezed me back. I moved back to arms length, looking into her eyes. “I’ve been missing you girl!”

“Bah! You’re just bored. I know you’ve been busy.” She replied as only she can.

“Well, yeah, I am bored, but I’ve also missed you. It’s not the same without you - quieter and less yelling, but not the same.” I grinned.

“Why don’t you just shut the hell up!?” She snapped and smiled.

We made our way into the kitchen and grabbed a soda for her and a snack to share. We then went downstairs and plopped back on the sofa. “So whatcha wanna do? I’m new to all this and never been alone here, so…” I mentioned.

“Oh, right, duh! I forget you’ve only been living as a girl here for two weeks. You really made a crappy boy!” She reminded me.

“Awww, you say the sweetest things!” I giggled.

I recounted all of my news; the emancipation proceedings, my lunch with Jenna, how nice it is to live here and my new ‘sisterhood of the traveling underpants’ with Candace. Even Verity giggled at that one - it got an eyeroll, too, but that was par for the course.

“Do you think they’ll adopt you? The Collins’?” Verity asked.

I fell back on the sofa. “God, I hope so; I haven’t really thought that far ahead.” I said. “They’re the best family I ever had. But at least I have Jenna now, too. We seem to have bonded like never before; it’s so cool!”

“I can’t believe how your mom went off on you like that! And Jenna says your dad is pretending you’re dead?” She recapped and I nodded. “That is so fucked up! I’m sorry.” She whispered and gave me a hug - the first one ever initiated by Verity. She’s not very touchy-feely after all.

Candace finally showed up. “Had an impromptu cheer practice, then we went out to lunch.” She told us. “I hope you’re here next time,” she said to me, “so you can meet all the girls on the squad. Maybe you want to practice with us?” Verity rolled her eyes.

I replied, “I don’t think so! I’m not a very active person, I’d probably pull every muscle in my body.” I couldn’t deny that I always thought cheerleaders were cool, and the dancing and tricks they could do, or whatever it’s called. Prolly not ‘tricks,’ I giggled to myself. Although I have heard tell of some slutty behavior amongst the team. Verity took great pleasure in telling tales out of school.

“Whats so funny? You really should do something to get in shape. You won’t be young forever, you know.” Wow, she’s gonna make a great mom. I clouded over and my eyes got a little misty, realizing that I would never be able to become a mom. Not from my womb anyway. Can my life get much worse? Probly depends on how my parents deal with this emancipation thing. I suppose it could go much further south. I can see Tierra del Fuego on the horizon.

Anyway, she had me there. Making too much sense as far as I’m concerned. Plus I really have nothing to do except lawyers and doctors, so…“You know what? I will come and watch and see what’s what, is that okay? I’d really like to meet your other friends. Will they mind that I’m only fifteen? Well, in two weeks I will be.” I gave a rambling and no-so-subtle reminder of my upcoming annibirthiversary. I’m so weird.

“To be honest, a couple of them might. We have a couple bitches on the squad, but I have nothing to do with them, so you don’t have to worry. As long as they intend to act like black witches, they can stick to their own coven; they’re personae non grata as far as I’m concerned.” Candace saw me and then raised me a ramble. Plus, they must take Latin in high school or something. Yikes! She’s really super smart, and I thought I was the brains of this outfit. So, what do I bring to the table then? Guess I’m the weird one, huh? Every group needs a weirdo, right? I can shake up the status quo - well, that’s that sorted.

So, we just hung out reading magazines and giggling and picking the boys we like best. I’m partial to Noah Schnapp of ‘Stranger Things,’ myself. You know, the boy that played Will Byers? - so cute! Oh my god! He was especially cute when he was young. Another name tossed about by Candace was Niall Horan. He’s cute and all but he’s like really old now. I do like his song ‘Heaven,’ though. I started singing the song absentmindedly as I flipped pages and the girls stared at me, then started giggling. I turned about seven shades of red.

We were in the midst of doing a quiz in Cosmo Girl when a call came down the stairs. Is it past five already? Dang time flies and all that. Tempus fugit! Take that Candace Collins! “Kayla? Could you come up here, hon?” Oh boy, what fresh hell is this? Can’t be good, can it?

“‘Kay!” I hollered back. I looked between Candace and Verity and shrugged with a face etched with trepidation. I scampered up the stares while C and V (ooh, CV! - I can even make a pun in Latin, so maybe I’m not so dumb after all - giggle, ), CV mumbled whispers behind me. “Hi Miss Shannon.” I breathed when I reached the kitchen. “Anything wrong?”

“Oh, no dear, but I do have some news.” She looked at me with a little Mona Lisa smile and kindness in her eyes. “Your mom contacted me this afternoon. Your parents aren’t going to get a lawyer - she says they can’t afford it and don’t need one anyway.” Oo-kayy. “So, here’s the deal. She says they’re cutting you loose - her words.” My eyes went wide. It kinda hurt, but that’s what I wanted, right? “I’m going to be blunt here, okay? I think you can handle it and I think you should know.” I nodded. “She says they are sick of the drama you cause and they don’t need an abomination dragging the family into hell. Nice, huh?” Yeah, wonderful. I sighed. Am I an abomination? I was born messed up and deformed, after all. Mrs. C. hugged me and whispered as if she could read my mind. “Sweetie, you are not an abomination. You are a sweet and wonderful girl, and I think your parents are the loathsome creatures, if you don’t mind my saying.” I shook my head. I was speechless while I stayed in her embrace. Well, my parents made it easy on me this time - the first time that has ever happened and I would be eternally grateful.

“So, the upshot is, we can get your emancipation on the docket quickly and, while you don’t technically need a foster or adoptive family after emancipation, we would like to adopt you if you would like that. I already see you as a daughter, so we would just be making it official.”

I leaned back and looked into her eyes. I cried in a whisper, “I would love that… mom.” I hugged her again and cried my eyes out. The Greenlees are quickly becoming a thing of the past.

“Oh, and you might like this. Those papers you signed? You are now officially Kayla Jayne Collins, Female.” My eyes went wide. “That’s the nice thing about this state. All you need to do is self identify. The judge just rubber stamped the name change, really. Used to be you had to go to court and be interrogated and all that. So. Do you want to go out and celebrate? Casa Bonita?” Casa Bonita is a huge restaurant that’s practically an Acapulco theme park. I love that place!

My eyes went wide again and I nodded, “yes please!” I kissed my new mom on the cheek and practically jumped and skipped down to the basement to tell the girls.

Verity was super excited, another rarity for her, and Candace smiled. “Must be good news,” she said. I nodded and started to ramble telling them my absolutely wonderful news. I ended with the ‘abomination’ business. I was already so over being upset by that. They just gasped when they heard, and gave me a nice group hug. “Your parents are idiots,” Verity put a period at the end of the sentence. My sentence of oppression and abuse. It was over and I was pleased as I could be. It just seemed too easy. Too good to be true. Shrug.

I called Jenna and she was free and thrilled to join us at the restaurant. At Casa Bonita we just ran around, trying to avoid the waitstaff who were also literally running with heavily laden trays. The cliff diver made a splash and we marveled at his chiseled body, olive skinned and glistening. I thought Jenna was gonna flip. The food was so good, and you can eat as much as you want, though truth be told, I never get my money’s worth at all-you-can-eat places. We had the best time and when we got outside, into the cooling summer evening, I gave my new parents a nice big hug.

Jenna and I made a date for the following week to get together and talk and just chill. Mom, my new mom, was even gonna cook! I wasn’t quite sure if she knew how, because we always got takeout or went to a restaurant or I cooked. I was trying to teach Candace how to cook and sometimes verity joined us for that. We had a lot of fun in the kitchen, but I don’t know if Verity is gonna be the cooking kind. She’s a modern girl.

When Monday rolled around, Candace had most of the cheer squad come over to practice and then swim. It was cool in the morning, but it was gonna be 90 in the afternoon, so that would feel good. I really wanted to get some exercise with the girls, so Candace let me have her middle school cheer uniform - it actually fit and looked really cute! Everybody else was in workout clothes so I felt like what the British call the ‘dog’s dinner.’ I don’t get that saying, but I thought it sounded cute, even if it was a tad derogatory.

All I could pretty much do was bounce around until the girls gathered round after about an hour. They helped me learn how to do cartwheels and even a back flip! That was scary, but they had a good hold on me the whole time. I didn’t figure I could ever become a cheerleader, but it was fun hanging out with the girls and getting exercise. If you have to exercise, you might as well make it fun, right? The exercise equipment in our basement is just really boring!

Anyways, all us girls piled into the garage to get some drinks out of the extra fridge. It was just for drinks and it was loaded, and there were more cases on the shelves lining the wall! Most of the girls chose a fruit juice, so I went along, being that I’m learning to get fit and I’m new to all this stuff. I ran upstairs to get my swimsuit on. I made sure my gaff was secure - didn’t want any surprises with a dozen girls around! My one-piece suit is a pretty coral color with a large gardenia and had a bust that was slightly enhanced. I decided to put a couple gel inserts I bought into the little pockets they provide because, well, some of the girls are pretty well-endowed and I didn’t want to look like the flat little sister. I gave myself a once over, checked my mascara and lip gloss and pronounced myself cute. And flat! I mean the boy bits appeared to be nonexistent and that just felt so right. I was quite pleased.

Summers can be pretty boring and uneventful, and this one kinda was too, albeit punctuated with a great deal of drama and the occasional get-together. So not much happened leading up to my birthday. I was pretty excited to finally turn fifteen, but I suppose I would have been even more excited had I been a latina. You hear a lot about Quincenearas around here and I was a bit jealous. I guess sweet sixteens are the gringo equivalent, but I have to wait another year for that.

The morning of my birthday dawned boring, but bright. Yawn to both of those things as I had trouble waking up for a moment before my phone jingled and startled me wide-eyed. It was Candace, just some twenty feet away in her own bedroom. She wanted to know if I wanted to get some more exercise in with the cheer squad this morning.

Candace - You wanna do cheer this AM?
Kayla - Just woke up. Need 2 think
Candace - Don’t hurt yourself (-;
Kayla - Very funny, not! Oh, yes ok, was fun last time
Candace - k, good, will be at Steph’s this time
Kayla - k, what time?
Candace - 9
Kayla - k, cu in a min

I had been meandering to Candace’s door while texting. Lucky I didn’t break my neck, but as soon as I sent my last message I knocked on her door. “Come in silly!” She bellowed. Well, in a sweet girly way. There’s really no term for that.

“Morning,” I offered, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Morning sleepy head!” She bounced out of bed. “We gotta find you something to wear.”

“Yeah, about that. I should really get my own clothes. Do you think mom will let me go shopping?” I asked. “Maybe I should get a job.”

“Of course she will, but, hang on, let me empty my closet of the stuff that doesn’t fit anymore. Sorry I haven't done that yet. But…”

“But, what about today?” I cut her off. I hate when I do that, cos I hate when people do that to me! Sigh. “I don’t wanna be the ‘dog’s dinner’ again.”

“Wait, the what now?”

“Dog’s dinner; it’s what the Brits say when you are all dressed up and nobody else is. Isn’t that cute?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I don’t get it.” She admitted. I just shrugged because I still didn’t get it either.

“Whatever. You got some workout clothes I could borrow today? Or, til I get my own, anyway.” I pleaded even though I knew she would give me the shirt off her back.

We walked into her cavernous closet. Mine is only half its size, but should be sufficient, if I ever get my own stuff. “Here,” she pulled out a drawer. “I’ve got a whole drawerful. Take your pick. They’re stretchy, so they should fit okay.”

“Okay, um, thanks, but what are you gonna wear? Remember, I’m new to all this and I was so nervous last week I didn’t pay attention to what the girls were all wearing.” I said.

“Right. Okay, we just wear SoffeTM shorts with compression shorts underneath, for modesty, but, well,” she turned red, “they should do a good job for you, you know, down there.”

My turn to turn red. “Um, okay,” I said. “Cool, then what about up top?”

Just a t-shirt, usually, and we tie them at the waist so they don’t get in the way. Some girls just like to wear a sports bra or a sporty crop top with a bra built in. With your waist and the weather being so nice, I think you should go that route. So, here is a matching set.” She dangled them in front of me and I grabbed the soft garments.

“Oh, these are nice.” I stroked the fabric.

“Only the best! Why don’t you go try them on, then we should go get breakfast.” She mommed me once again.

“Um, okay.” So I tried them on and they looked really good on me. I just dashed on some mascara and lip gloss and we skipped downstairs for a breakfast of cereal and berries.

“We’ll each bring a banana for later, when we need extra energy. You’ll get the hang of all this pretty quick if you keep hanging out with us. All the girls are really dedicated and keep to a good diet and exercise regimen.

“K.” I said, simply.

So, cheer practice was even more fun this time, because I could join in on more stuff, and I was getting to know the cheers. Stephanie recorded the session, so any newbies can practice on their own during the week. So that was pretty cool. Steph’s mom was also pretty cool. She brought out a bunch of fruit and power bars and juice for all of us and she watched and cheered us on. The cheerleaders have a cheering section. I thought that was kinda funny.

I got a good workout and was pretty sweaty by the time we returned home. I jumped in the shower and did the whole nine pretty quickly. I just did mascara and lip gloss again and was ready to go put something casual on when Candace came out of her closet with a gorgeous sundress. “This… is for you! And you can keep it, it’s a size 5.”

“Really? Wow! It’s gorgeous!” It was another teal dress, but this one was darker and more mature. It was crinkly and soft and flowy, with contrasting lace at the waist. The spaghetti straps would show off my shoulders to great effect. Candace called it a ‘swing’ dress, whatever that means. I need to buy a book on fashion or something, I was absent the day all the girls learned this stuff! I went to my dresser and pulled out the same lingerie set I wore the day I met Jenna for lunch. It matched almost perfectly with the dress.

I felt way too dressed up, but I liked it so much that I decided to be the dog’s dinner again. God, I love that phrase! I heard Candace holler from the hall, “I’ll meet you in the basement! Bring a drink!”

“K!” I yelled back. I checked myself in the mirror and decided to add a little more makeup since the dress was so nice. Deeming myself ‘good enough,’ I made my way downstairs to grab my Diet Pepsi^TM and jet to the basement. As I rounded the corner I heard a deafening “Surprise!” I let out a little scream and my hands went to my face, nearly dropping my soda in the process. Then followed a rousing rendition of ‘Happy Birthday,’ even though it’s still under copyright.

I saw mom lighting the candles on the cake, but no dad. I suppose he had to stay at the office to keep things running. All my friends and even acquaintances were there. Of course, Candace and Verity, my two besties. Then there was nearly all the cheer squad, all but the ‘bitch brigade,’ as I’d branded them. From out of the corner stepped Jenna, and was that a surprise! She came over, crying for some reason, and gave me a big hug. “Happy Birthday, sis.” She whispered.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” I wondered aloud.

“It’s just, you look so… you look so beautiful! My little sister is growing up!” She sniffled and I gave her another hug.

“I’m glad you could come. Honestly, I had forgotten that today’s my birthday. Candace distracted me!” I turned and gave my newest sister a mock glare. She just gave me a goofy grin.

Jenna grabbed my hand and pulled me to the table where the cake sat, glimmering with fifteen candles. Everyone sang Happy Birthday again (two violations now!) and yelled for me to make a wish. Well, you can guess what I wished for, but after I blew out all the candles, I was pretty sure my extraneous appendage was still there. It gave a little confirmation wiggle. I was still pretty flat up top, too. Maybe these things take time?

On the other side of the room I saw another table laden with about a hundred gifts, I kid you not! Mom said, “Go ahead and grab some food honey, we’ll open them after everyone’s fed, okay? I nodded at her mind-reading again.

We had pizza. I think that’s some kind of rule for these kinds of things and I had my two slices of sausage and mushroom. I wanted to hide the rest of that pizza, but that would be kinda rude. I finally drank my Pepsi^TM, thus mitigating any possibility of shock and awe causing a mess and ruining my new dress. Oh, did I say? Everybody was dressed up. Not a single pair of shorts or jeans to be seen anywhere. All party frocks! And Jenna and Candace looked absolutely beautiful.

Finally! Finally it was time to open my presents. Mom told me to have a seat and they would be brought to me. Everyone gathered round and I felt a permanent blush settle in. Being the center of attention was never my thing. You would not believe the presents I got. From the cheer squad, I got makeup and nail polish and earrings and bangles and colognes. From Candace I got the giant box in the corner. I couldn’t imagine what it could be. But, that was being saved til later. From Jenna I got a pretty jumpsuit and a pair of heels that will go great with it. What did I get from Verity? Wow, I got a collection of every film based on a Jane Austen Novel! There must be about twenty of them. How could she…? Oh, duh, everybody in this neighborhood has money, including me now!

About thirty of the gifts were saved for tonight when dad would be home, and we were gonna have Chinese! Two of my favorites in one day. Gosh my mind was reeling. I can’t wait until tonight! Oh, jeez, it’s only an hour away. Time flies when you’re opening four dozen presents and oohing and ahhing over every single one! When I was done, girls started wandering out to go home. I was so happy that Jenna was gonna stay for tonight’s festivities, for which I must now go check myself and fix whatever is amiss.

Dad got home at 5:30, carrying four bags of what smelled like Chinese food. I was doing flips inside I was so excited. We did it family style, each taking some of whatever they wanted, and I took, let’s see, Kung Pao shrimp, Pork lo mein, and spicy beef broccoli - yum! Egg rolls and crab wontons and hot and sour soup, I swear I was in heaven. There were tons of leftovers, too, so the next couple days were going to be bliss food-wise.

Finally, as the coffee and tea were being served, it was time to open the rest of my presents. I swear there were still three dozen left to go. Candace’s was still waiting in the corner as I began to open. It was just the five of us tonight and it was cozy in front of the fire. Dad would bring me a pile of presents and I would just let ‘er rip! It was funny, each present said it was from a different cute actor or singer. I’m guessing Candace thought that one up and provided the names. Oh! I also got ones from Katy Perry and Sia and even Taylor Swift! I didn’t know they cared.

I opened the first one and it was a classic Barbie! I laughed my fool head off, then I stopped stunned and just started crying. What was wrong with me? Candace and Jenna and mom all came over to comfort me. Mom said, “It’s okay sweetie; I’m guessing you never got a Barbie before?” I just nodded and sniffled. “Okay, well now you do, so stop that crying, you’ve got more presents to open.”

It seems I was to be laugh-crying all night, because my next present was a baby doll with a bottle and diaper and all that. My gosh. I got an American Girl doll, too. One that looked just like me, with long, braided, blonde hair. I hugged it. I actually hugged the doll! I got a few stuffed animals, then I got another Barbie, this one in a period costume like Jane Austen; then I got a whole bunch of clothes for them. I got a Skipper doll with a pram and a puppy. Then I opened a DVD. A 4K version of ‘The Barbie Movie!’ “ooh, we are so watching that tonight!” I blurted, smiling. “Can you stay over, Jenna?” I looked over to my big sister.

“Of course I can!” She responded. “I even brought my jammies and my weekender. This was not unplanned, as if!” I just giggled and gave her a hug.

Then Candace piped up. “Verity’s gonna come back over later and we’re gonna have a slumber party!” I fell back on the sofa smiling. This day could not get any better! I still had a bunch of presents to open and I got more dolls and makeup and movies. The movies were all girly ones I should have seen growing up, but wasn’t really allowed to. I did occasionally sneak one when I was alone, back in the day, but not many. The cool thing was, they had the digital code thingy, so we don’t have to mess with DVDs when we wanna watch a movie! I love that!

Finally, I got to Candace’s gift. The whopper in the corner. I couldn’t even imagine what it could be. Turns out, after ripping aff an acre of wrapping paper, it was a Barbie-sized doll house! Oh my god! My sister didn’t even have a doll house when we were growing up, and she said so. I just smiled at her and tilted my head. “You wanna play?” I was done with presents, and although I was surprised I didn’t get any clothes, it was okay, because I get all of Candace’s hand-me-downs. And they are all awesome!

Mom and Dad looked at each other and nodded. “You have one more gift, honey.” I do? “Yes, it’s up in your closet if you want to go have a look before the fun and games start.” Cool! So I dashed away to a chorus of laughs and giggles. BTW, I thought the fun and games had already started like at noon!

I opened my closet door and turned on the light. The closet was absolutely loaded! Dresses and slacks and tops and shoes! Everything! And it was all new! Mom came up behind me, “We left the tags on in case there’s something you don’t like. Every cheerleader, plus Verity and Jenna, got to pick out two outfits for you. And an outfit consists of a top and bottom or a dress. We hope you like them.” Wow! I went and hugged everybody, then I skipped back to fondle all my new clothes. “Don’t forget to check out your dresser, too,” mom said. So I dashed over and found lingerie sets up the wazoo, and camis and, oh! Even better gel inserts for in my bra! The weird fabricky ones I have are so going in the trash. I blushed. Then I took them to the bathroom and stuffed them in the little pockets of my bra. I heard some giggles outside the door. I got whistles and cat-calls when I came back out. Double blush.

I went back in the closet to check out all I had gotten, and it was all so beautiful I couldn’t imagine having to return any of it. In the back, I came upon a really fancy dress. I pulled it out and put it against me, then looked up. Jenna said, “I picked that out for you. It’s for homecoming. There will be a dance. Unfortunately, you don’t get a prom for a couple years. You’ll get a new dress then.” She advised.

“Oh my god, it’s gorgeous, thank you!” I gushed and ran over to give her a big hug. I went to hang it back up with reverence. Then I saw another dress next to it. It sorta looked like a Cinderella dress.

“That’s a Cinderella dress, a good one. Jenna said you didn’t get to play dress-up when you were young, so now’s your chance.” I was stunned, and as I looked at the dress up against me, I felt myself tearing up. Then, as I scanned the closet and all my new, wonderful clothes, and when I got a peek at my family, I lost it. I collapsed in a heap and bawled my eyes out. I shuddered as mom reached around me to hold me. “It’s okay honey, let it all out. You are going to live your life now and I want you to live out all of those girlhood moments you’ve missed out on, okay?” I nodded into her bosom. I must have cried for fifteen minutes, or maybe an hour, I couldn’t be sure. Then I whispered, “Thank you.”

“Okay, that’s enough crying, today’s supposed to be happy day. Go put on your pajamas - I put them on your bed.” Mom told me. I nodded and headed toward the bed. There I found an Ariel, the little mermaid, fitted sleep shirt. It was so cute and I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever grow up in my mind, because I had been deprived of so much of this growing up. Interesting thought. Would I be a child forever? I probably shouldn’t have been, but I was so excited I grabbed the sleep shirt and ran to the bathroom.

“We’ll meet you downstairs, sweetie,” mom said through the door. Verity should be here any minute. I smiled. I really liked Verity. I couldn’t imagine that there was anybody like her in the entire world. I sure had never met them. Girly, yet tough and jaded - but a heart of gold. She’s an old softy, I thought.

So, everybody showed up with a Disney sleep shirt! I laughed and cried and started the Barbie Movie. We all snuggled in for a wonderful end to an amazing day.