“I’d have liked to see you change, but I guess I should have said so directly, instead of just hinting that I’d like to meet Jennifer.”

 

“Oh. Scott thought it might be easier to get here unchallenged if I were already Jennifer. Maybe next time.”

 

---

---

 

“I’d like to try it,” Linda said when I talked with her after class Wednesday.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll talk to Emily and see if we can get together this weekend sometime. Are you free the whole weekend, or are there some times that don’t work for you?”

Later in the afternoon, I called Emily’s dorm and waited by the phone for someone to go get her and have her call me back. She never did, so I tried again, and this time got someone to actually go to her room and tell her I was on the line. “Scott!” she said. “Have you heard from Jennifer?”

“Yeah, she wants to get together sometime this weekend,” I said. “Friday night or Saturday. Linda wants to join us too, you remember her?”

“The girl you were with at the movie last week?”

“Yeah, her.”

“Nifty. I’m going out with Darrell Friday night, but I’m free most of the day Saturday. And Alice might join us too; we were talking about it a few days ago.”

Friday after classes, I washed my clothes, including Jennifer’s panties, bra and socks. I was pretty careful to not let anyone see the feminine articles; I wrapped Jennifer’s things inside rolled-up shirts before I loaded up the laundry to go to the laundromat, and I did the same when transferring things from the washer to the drier and from the drier to my laundry bag. I didn’t wash her skirt or blouse, because they’d only been worn for a few hours and I hadn’t exerted hard enough to sweat in them much.

Saturday morning after breakfast, I came back to the dorm to find Randall was still asleep. I undressed, took a dose of jekyllase, and sat down to wait for the change. Then I got dressed, headed over to Utterson Hall, and went up to Emily and Alice’s room.

“Knock knock,” I said, knocking. Alice opened the door.

“Oh, hi,” she said. “Everybody’s here.”

“Hi,” said Linda, who was sitting in the chair at Emily’s desk, while Emily was sitting on her bed. “I’m Linda, and you’re...?”

“I’m Jennifer,” I said with a grin. “Scott’s told me so much about you.”

“Oh,” she said, and then a moment later: “You and Scott talk? Like, inside your head or something?”

“No, not really, it’s just a figure of speech. But I remember what happens to Scott, and he remembers what happens to me — and what each other think, too, though not quite as well.”

“Ah. Then... I guess we’re ready?”

“You brought the jekyllase?” Emily asked.

“It’s in my purse,” I said, digging it out.

“I’ll go first,” Emily said, “since I already know who I’m going to be. And just on the off chance we need to restrain Alice or Linda’s hyde, I think Cynthia’s a little stronger than me. Then I guess we can flip a coin to see if Alice or Linda goes next...”

“You can go first,” Linda said quickly to Alice. “I don’t mind.” To me she added: “I’d have liked to see you change, but I guess I should have said so directly, instead of just hinting that I’d like to meet Jennifer.”

“Oh. Scott thought it might be easier to get here unchallenged if I were already Jennifer. Maybe next time.”

Linda smiled faintly as Emily dropped her dose of jekyllase into one of the cups of Tang she had ready and swirled it around before drinking. A minute or so later, Cynthia sat there. She smiled at me.

“It’s good to see you again, Jennifer.”

“I’m glad to see you, too. Alice? You ready?”

“I guess so... I hope you like the other me. I hope I like her.”

She drank the next cup of Tang and jekyllase. She didn’t change as much in build and figure as Scott and Emily did; she was nearly the same height and had just a little less on her thighs and arms and a little more in her breasts. But her hair turned red, and her skin got paler, with a few freckles, and her nose a little smaller.

“Hi,” I said to her. “I’m Jennifer. What’s your name?”

“Tabitha,” she said in a low alto voice. “Come on, Linda, your turn.”

“Let’s wait a few minutes,” Cynthia put in, “and get to know each other a bit first. What do you like to do, Tabitha?”

Tabitha rolled her eyes. “You want to check if what I like to do is torture and kill people, right?”

“I guess so,” I said. “It has been known to happen. Not often, though. And you seem like a nice person.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“But, yeah, Cynthia has a point. Let’s get to know each other. I know! We can play Truth or Dare.”

Cynthia looked at me for a long moment and said: “Yes. Why not?”

“All right,” Tabitha said. “Truth or Dare, Jennifer?”

“Truth,” I said. I wanted Tabitha, and Linda’s hyde, to pick truth, so I tried to set a good example.

“What’s the furthest you’ve gone with a boy?”

“Let’s see — we kissed, and made out — he put his hands on my butt, and then one hand on my breast for a few moments... I guess that would be the farthest it went.”

“Taka?” Cynthia asked, and I said: “Tell you later. First — Tabitha, Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” she said. (Yay! It worked!)

“What do you most want to do before the jekyllase wears off?”

“I want to do something to get Alice and Gary to break up. He’s no good for her, but she’s infatuated with him and can’t see that. She’ll be mad at me, and won’t take jekyllase again for a long time, but eventually she’ll realize I was right.”

“Very self-sacrificing of you,” Cynthia said. “Emily and I agree with you about Gary.”

“Truth or Dare, Linda?” Tabitha said.

“Dare.” Interesting.

“I dare you to take off your clothes and then take the jekyllase,” Tabitha went on.

“That’s two dares,” Linda objected. “I get to pick which one.”

“All right,” I said, knowing she was going to take the jekyllase — that’s what she was here for.

But Cynthia said: “No, I think Tabitha should get to rephrase her dare. You’d pick the easy dare, the part you were going to do anyway.”

“Then I dare you to take off your clothes and leave them off until you take the jekyllase or until you leave here, whichever’s first,” Tabitha said.

“I think that’s fair,” I said.

“All right,” Linda said, glaring at us. She unbuttoned her blouse and took it off, then her bra, then her shoes and skirt... I noticed Cynthia was looking appreciatively at her. Hmm. I glanced back at Linda as she pulled her panties down. “You can take the jekyllase whenever you want, I guess,” I said. “I’m not going to make you stay like that any longer than necessary.”

“Give it here,” Linda said, and Cynthia handed her the last cup of Tang. Before she drank it, she said: “Cynthia, Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Cynthia said, but Linda didn’t ask a question right away. She drank down the Tang, and said: “My hyde can ask you — oh, this feels strange —” Then nothing for a while as her body shifted around.

Like Taka, she got shorter and chunkier. Not really fat, but all of us except Cynthia could stand to lose some weight. And while she looked a little uncomfortable being naked before, she was really panicking about it now. I regretted siding with Cynthia and Tabitha about the dare.

Even before she finished changing, she was scrambling to get dressed again. She got her panties on first, but she fumbled with her bra and kept dropping it, her hands trembling. “Don’t look at me, you perverts!” she cried.

I turned my back, saying: “Let us know when you’re dressed. Sorry we made your jekyll take off her clothes.” But it looked like Tabitha was still looking at her, and maybe Cynthia; I couldn’t see her the way I was standing.

“It looks like you’re an easy one to tease,” Tabitha said. “What’s your name?”

“Don’t speak to me,” Linda’s hyde said. “I can’t believe Linda let herself be talked into this debauchery... I’m leaving as soon as I get dressed.”

“Do you need to borrow one of Alice’s skirts?” Tabitha asked. “Looks like that one won’t quite fit.”

“You shouldn’t leave yet,” Cynthia said. “We need to make sure you’re not dangerous to yourself or others.”

“You lot are the dangerous ones! I plan to go back to Linda’s dorm and try to study quietly until this vile drug wears off. No, I’ll flush her marijuana down the toilet first.”

“Are you dressed yet?” I asked. “And we really can’t let you run off if you’re planning to destroy Linda’s property.”

Just then I heard a rip, and Cynthia added dryly: “More of Linda’s property. I think you should take Tabitha up on her offer, dear.”

“All right, all right,” the hyde said. “This skirt is a lost cause, I suppose.”

Wordlessly Tabitha pulled a light green skirt out of her wardrobe and tossed it to the hyde. A bit later she said, “All right, I’m decent.” I turned to look again.

Linda’s blouse was tightly fitting on her, and too small for her hyde. She was showing more cleavage than Linda had. “Do either of you have a scarf or something I can cover up with?” she asked.

Cynthia pulled one out of a drawer and handed it to her. “Could you tell us your name, please?”

“Virginia,” she said. “Are you going to let me go?”

“You seem like a girl who keeps her promises, right?” I said.

“Of course,” she said, looking offended. “So does Linda, whatever else you might say about her.”

“So promise you won’t mess up Linda’s stuff, or spend an unreasonable amount of her money... not more than twenty dollars, let’s say... and you can go, if you don’t want to hang with us. But we’d like you to stay so we can get to know you.”

She glanced back and forth at me, Cynthia, and Tabitha, all between her and the door, and said: “...Okay. I promise. Please let me out of here.”

“Do you trust her?” Cynthia asked me.

“Yeah, I think we can trust her. You can go, Virginia. Have a nice day... and remember the more fun you have, the more likely Linda is to let you out again.”

She didn’t deign to reply, but opened the door and walked out.

“Well, that was a downer,” Tabitha said. “Next time let’s just hang out with Linda.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “What do you want to do now?”

“Let’s get Tabitha’s measurements and take her shopping,” Cynthia suggested, and that’s what we did first. Cynthia did the driving. A couple of hours later, after Tabitha and Cynthia had bought a couple of outfits, and I’d bought one, we went to a nearby restaurant for lunch. I still didn’t think it was the right time to spend Scott’s money on jewelry. I needed him to make me a regular habit; it had been over two weeks since he’d last turned into me, and for more than a week of that he’d been planning never to take jekyllase again. I couldn’t have that, could I?

When we sat down at the restaurant, Tabitha asked me: “So, how long has Scott been taking jekyllase?”

“Let’s see... the first time was a month ago. This is the fourth time.”

“So he likes being you, then?”

“Yeah, I’m a fun person — to be with or to be.”

“And Cynthia, I think Emily said she first took it about a month ago, right?”

“Yes, it was that weekend when you — I mean Alice — went home to see her parents.”

“And this is at least your third time.”

“Just the third, yes. I hope it won’t be the last. I was pleasantly surprised that she let me out a second time — I think I can credit Scott with that. His desire to try jekyllase again instigated Emily to want to be me so she could vicariously hang out with Jennifer.”

“And why didn’t she want to hang out with Jennifer as herself?”

Cynthia paused. “I think I will respect Emily’s privacy and refrain from answering. Perhaps I’ve already said too much.”

That was intriguing. But much as I wanted to pry, I knew it was a bad idea, and I made myself change the subject.

“So, have either of you seen any guys you’re interested in? Cynthia, I could tell you weren’t into Darrell or Taka or Randall... what about you, Tabitha?”

“No,” Cynthia said. “I am more fastidious in my tastes than Emily.”

“I’ve seen a couple that looked good to me,” Tabitha said, “in the stores we went to and here at the restaurant... the guy with the trim beard at that table there, for instance,” discreetly indicating him with a tilt of her head. “What about you, Jennifer? You said you’d let a boy touch your ass and boob... who was it?”

I sighed. “I’ll probably never see him again. It was Taka, Darrell’s hyde. Darrell got upset about me and Taka making out, and said it felt like he was cheating on Emily, so he didn’t want to take jekyllase again, at least not when Scott was taking it.”

“Is there anyone more attainable you like?” Cynthia asked.

“Well... Randall is pretty hot, and not a bad guy, though he’s not as sweet and lovable as Taka. But getting involved with him would be a bad idea; making things complicated between Scott and Randall would be a quick way to make sure Scott never takes jekyllase again.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Tabitha said. “That reminds me, I need to do something about Gary and Alice. Any ideas?”

“I’m not sure you should,” I began, but Cynthia said: “You could find Gary and flirt with him, and see if he’s receptive or if he tells you he’s already got a girlfriend. If he cheats on Alice, she’ll break up with him.”

“Yeah, I guess that would work,” Tabitha said. “Can’t think of anything else yet.”

“How is this any different from Virginia wanting to flush Linda’s pot down the commode?” I asked.

“Gary is a lot worse for Alice than pot is for Linda,” Tabitha said. “Unless Linda’s smoking pot every day for hours and never studying or going to class, and I didn’t get that impression.”

“No,” I said, “she’s good at academics. Only tokes occasionally, I think.”

“Well, then.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. Write a long note to Alice, telling her what you think about Gary and why. Maybe even propose that she let you test his faithfulness like Cynthia suggested, but don’t do it without her permission.”

“Even if he’s faithful to her, and I don’t think he is, he’s bad for her,” Tabitha said. “You don’t know him.”

“No, I don’t. But think about it, please. I like you and I wouldn’t want Alice swearing off jekyllase because you did something rash.”

“I’ll think about it,” she conceded. “Either way, could you drop me off near Utterson Hall after we finish lunch?”

Half an hour later, Tabitha got out near the dorm with her bags of clothing and thanked Cynthia for the ride. Cynthia and I were alone in the front seat of my car.

“So... what now?” I asked. “You want to catch a matinee or just hang out?”

“We could drive over to Guest Park and walk around,” she suggested.

“Sounds good. We probably won’t have many more days this year with weather this nice.”

As she pulled out onto the street and headed toward the park, Cynthia said: “So, when I asked you if there was anyone you liked other than Taka... did you hold anything back because you didn’t know Tabitha very well? Or didn’t trust her or Alice to keep a secret?”

“No,” I said, surprised. “I would never have proposed the Truth or Dare game... I’d never have told her about how far I went with Taka, or that I was attracted to Randall too, if I didn’t trust her.”

“My instinct is that you can trust her, as well,” she said. “I’m not sure about Virginia or Linda... you know Linda better than Emily or I do. As for Virginia, I think she would keep quiet about what you told her because she doesn’t want to have to think about it.”

“Yeah, she seems kind of shy and antisocial. I figure she’ll hole up in Linda’s dorm and not talk to anybody. I wonder what she’ll tell Linda’s roommate.”

“Probably the truth. Or a small part of it.”

We drove in silence the rest of the way to the park. Cynthia parked and we got out and looked at the map posted on a big board next to the parking lot.

“Let’s take this trail,” Cynthia suggested, pointing out one of the longer walking trails through the woods. “It’s usually not crowded. Emily and Darrell think it’s a good place to make out.”

“You think we’ll run into couples making out on the benches or in the bushes?” I asked, amused.

“Probably not at this time of day.”

We passed through the gardens, pausing briefly to look at some of the flowers and shrubs, and onto the trail. After we left the garden, we didn’t meet anyone for quite a while.

“Dr. Jekyll was apparently repressing some murderous rage,” Cynthia said suddenly. “And it got out when he tried out his new drug. Have you wondered what it says about Emily and Scott, what they’re repressing or hiding from themselves, that we come out when they take jekyllase?”

“Huh,” I said. “Not as much as I probably should. What do you think?”

“You and Scott will have to figure it out for yourselves,” she said. “I don’t want to prejudice your judgment. But I think I know what Emily is hiding from herself. Maybe less now that she’s letting me out, but still mostly.” She took a deep shuddering breath. “I have to tell you this. But I’m terrified.”

I looked aside at her, worried. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” I said. “Like, if it’s Emily’s secret, maybe you shouldn’t share it, right, like you said earlier when Tabitha asked you why Emily wanted to be you rather than hang out with me as herself...?”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone,” she said. “Especially not Alice or Tabitha. But not anyone.”

“I promise,” I said. “I can’t promise on Scott’s behalf, but I’m pretty sure we can trust him, too.”

“I suppose we have to. I can’t — I won’t hide it, not from you. Or else what’s the point of Emily letting me out...? If we were regular people, I’d wait, tell myself we need to get to know each other better first. But that would be so much wasted time. I already feel like I’ve known you for years. We were born at the same time... kind of like twin sisters.”

“Extremely fraternal twins,” I joked.

She smiled. “Except maybe that’s not a good metaphor considering what else I’ve got to say. A really bad metaphor, in fact. Never mind.” The smile vanished and she chewed her lip for a few moments.

“Let’s sit down,” I said as we came to a bench.

“Yes, you’ll want to be sitting down for this.” We sat down and looked at each other. “Jennifer, I — I love you. That’s what Emily has been hiding from herself for most of her life. I understand if you can’t love me back, not the same way, but I hope you won’t push me away, at least... let us be friends if we can’t be more.”

My jaw dropped. “You like girls...? And so does Emily, secretly?”

“Yes.” She looked really anxious, and I wanted to make her feel better, but a hug might be misinterpreted just then.

Or would it? I hadn’t been around more than a few days. And I’d taken an immediate liking to Taka, and I could appreciate Randall even if I didn’t want to get involved with him, but was I sure I didn’t like girls as well? I’d turned around while Virginia was getting dressed because she asked me to, not because I didn’t enjoy looking.

And other things fell into place, things I remembered from when Scott and Emily were dating. “That explains so much,” I said.

“You don’t mind?”

“No, of course not. Only I have some questions. I don’t know much about girls who like girls.” (Scott vaguely knew that there were girls who liked girls, and boys who liked boys, but he’d never heard most of the terms we use nowadays, which didn’t come into widespread use outside of what we now call the LGBTQ community until several years later. The only terms he’d heard used were clinical or pejorative, and I didn’t want to use them.)

“Neither do I, actually. I want Emily to do some research at the pool hall, but it’s not an easy subject to research — it would be too embarrassing to ask the librarian for help, and... anyway. All I know is that I love you.”

“I like you a lot,” I said. “And... I don’t know, maybe I love you too? I’m not sure what it’s like, how to tell the difference. You’ve given me a lot to think about... like, does this mean that Scott secretly likes boys, since I do? And since Scott likes girls, does that mean I like girls too only I haven’t realized it yet? Or is Scott unconsciously pretending to like girls because he’s ashamed of liking boys? We both think you’re really pretty, even prettier than Emily, but... I don’t know.”

“Like I said, you and Scott will have to figure that out for yourselves.”

“What do girls who like girls even do, anyway? I mean, it’s not like they... umm...” I felt my face getting hot. “They can’t exactly do the same thing boys and girls do, right?”

“I’m not sure,” Cynthia admitted. “I’m pretty sure they start by holding hands and kissing, like boys and girls.”

“Maybe we could try that?” I suggested hesitantly.

Cynthia’s face lit up like clouds uncovering the sun on a windy day, and suddenly holding hands and kissing wasn’t something I was tentatively willing to try, it was something I wanted. I smiled in response, and reached out my hand. Cynthia grasped it, but a moment later her face fell and she said, “Not here. This trail isn’t busy, but it’s not private enough either.”

“Maybe in your dorm when Alice or Tabitha is out,” I suggested, “or mine when Randall’s gone somewhere.”

“Let’s hope so.”

We held hands until someone came along the trail a few minutes later; when we heard footsteps, Cynthia quickly let go and stood up. “Let’s walk some more.”

A couple of minutes later Cynthia said: “You know... maybe Tabitha is out somewhere stirring up trouble between Gary and Alice.”

“You think your room might be empty?”

“Quite possibly.”

By silent consent, we quickened our pace and were back to the car five minutes later. Cynthia drove us back to campus. When we were sitting at a stop light, I reached over and put my left hand on her right, where it was resting on the gearshift. She looked over and smiled at me until the light turned green. We didn’t say much, but we didn’t need to.

When we got back to the dorm, Tabitha was still out, not surprisingly. She’d been there, though; the shopping bag was sitting by the wardrobe, and there was an envelope on her desk addressed to Alice. Cynthia sat down on Emily’s bed and patted the space next to her; I sat down beside her.

“So how do you want to —” I began, but didn’t finish the sentence. Cynthia was already kissing me. After a moment of surprise I kissed back. We came up for air a long while later.

“Do you want to do more?” Cynthia asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I think so. That was...” I didn’t want to say as good as when I kissed Taka, so I trailed off, then just said: “...good.”

We kissed again, and this time our arms were around each other’s shoulders. One of Cynthia’s hands strayed down my back to my butt. That felt nice, and I returned the favor.

But then Cynthia said: “Much as I’d like to continue, I think we’d better stop there. Tabitha could come back any time.”

“Okay,” I said, a little disappointed, and also a little relieved — I’d been apprehensive of where that was going. “What do you want to do?”

“Let’s play some records,” she said, “and just hold hands... we can let go quickly when we hear Tabitha’s key in the lock.”

So we did that. As it happened, the jekyllase wore off before Tabitha or Alice returned. Mine wore off first; when I felt myself starting to change, I let go of Cynthia’s hand and scooted over. “See you in a few days?” I said, even as my voice and my mind were starting to change.

“I hope so,” she said. “Here, I’ll stand by the door in case Tabitha comes in while you’re changing clothes.”

I’d brought a change of Scott’s clothes and shoes with me. I had my shoes off before I fully changed back. Once Cynthia was standing by the door with her back to me, I took off the rest of Jennifer’s clothes, and thought about what would happen next.

I was involved with anywhere from zero to three people, depending on whether Linda still wanted to go out with me after today, whether Emily was so freaked out by what Cynthia and Jennifer had done that she didn’t want to take jekyllase again, and whether Darrell ever changed his mind about taking it. It was really Jennifer who was sort of dating Cynthia, but Jennifer was part of me... and Virginia was part of Linda, too. Did I want to keep dating Linda when she had Virginia inside her? I decided that if she could put up with Jennifer, I could put up with Virginia, especially if Linda never took jekyllase again.

I finished taking off Jennifer’s stuff and put on my own, and thought about what it meant that Jennifer was part of me. Was she my subconscious' way of telling me that I was a queer? But if that was all, then why hadn’t I changed the way Emily did, into a guy who liked guys? There had to be more to it. Maybe Jennifer liking both guys and girls was a psychological symbol of something I was repressing, rather than the thing itself. Or maybe I was in denial... well, obviously I was in denial about something. Presumably, if a perfectly well-adjusted person took jekyllase, it would have no effect on them.

“I’m dressed,” I said, and turned around. Cynthia turned and looked at me.

“I see,” she said. “Will you... promise me what Jennifer promised?”

“Yes,” I said. “I won’t tell.”

“Thank you.”

We stood there awkwardly for a few moments before I said: “Well, I’d better go.” I glanced at the clock; it was late afternoon.

“Do you... are you planning to take jekyllase again sometime?”

“Yes,” I said, surprising myself with my lack of hesitation. “There are... things I need to figure out. About what Jennifer means.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Please try to help me talk Emily into doing that research I mentioned. Maybe help her? Or just turn into us again and let me and Jennifer spend a day at the library...”

“Yeah, I need to figure stuff out too.”

I left, lost in thought as I walked back to my dorm.

 

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I have several books in the Secret Trans Writing Lair's Pride Month bundle. Note that unlike previous open-ended bundles, this is only available through the end of June.