Catching Up
By Marissa Lynn

"Come on Mitch, stop squirming."

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"Oh stop whining, Mitch. You can't be having that bad of a time. And remember it's for the views, right?" Cassie asked as she applied the eyeliner along his left lower lash line.

"Besides, it's what we do for our art and sometimes, we suffer for our art, right? It's for the Dynamic Four, after all," Todd said

"Easy for you to say, Todd," Mitch said. "This is like a day ending in 'y' for you. I mean, remember Monday's shoot?"

"Yes, but I was dressed as She-Hulk, remember? Not the same."

"Technically, She-Hulk: Attorney at Law and I seem to remember you being rather particular about which skirt you were going to use," Mitch replied.

"Well, she is an attorney and she has to look professional and chic, not cheap and fabulous. Besides that's cosplay. And this, this is Miranda's debut," Todd said

"Ugh, still cosplay, remember?" Mitch grumbled.

"Indeed. You close, Cass?"

"Just about. Okay, just a little gloss and...there we go. Got it."

"Great, now let me go get the wig," Todd said, signaling to Chris to be ready to shoot his return to the room. As he gave him the cue, he walked into the room with one in a brunette, wavy bob. "You'd better be careful with this,'Miranda.' Just because I got a good deal on this one doesn't mean I want it damaged."

"Sure thing, your highness," Mitch quipped, even though he thought, "What cosplay is that for, anyway?"

With the cap already in place, Todd put the wig on his friend's head, making sure everything was secure in the front. For this video to work, Mitch needed to look good and not like they'd put some random whatever on his head.

"Now, we have everything put together. We kept it simple for Miranda. Right, Chris?"

"Exactly. We wanted to keep it simple with the black A-line skirt with the white top. That let us have the accessories stand out with this colorful boho necklace and matching earrings and, as you'll soon see, the clutch."

"Now. We are ready to let Miranda see her look. Are you ready for the big reveal, girl?"

Steeling himself, Mitch said, "Bring it on, buddy." He closed his eyes as Todd spun his chair around. Cassie pulled the throw they'd used as a cover away from the mirror with a flourish.

Mitch opened his eyes and saw a face staring back at him that was actually kind of cute. He worried this whole time that Todd and Cassie were going to make him look overdone, like a drag performer. Nothing wrong with drag, but it wouldn't look right for the rest of the video shoot they had planned. This looked real.

"Wow," was all Mitch could get out. But in his head, he said. "I look real. Real. Really real, like, oh. Oh."

Weeks later...

The Dynamic Four channel was picking up subscribers. It had started with Todd and Mitch, but they added their friends simply to keep from spreading themselves too thin with the reaction videos, the ones where they tried things, the cosplay, the absurdism (like ending Miranda's debut by having them go out to a chain restaurant by the mall for dinner, only to have Chris show up in a bear suit).

The four were making plans for two days from now, where Kevin, a new addition behind the scenes with filming, props and such would join the team for a challenge video. This time, the four would be trying not just one, but three hot wings each coated in Big Nuke hot sauce from that show.

"I heard it tastes like pure gasoline," Chris said.

Picking up on the riff, Cassie said, "60 percent of the time, it works every time," before Mitch said, "It smells like Bigfoot's di-oh, um, hi mom!"

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but just to let you know, Mitch, I left some money for you on the kitchen counter for pizza tonight," Brandy said. "My treat, since I know you've all been working really hard on your channel and because I'm meeting a friend from college, you remember Callie Wu, right dear? Anyway, y'all have a good night and good luck tomorrow. You're going to need it."

In unison, all five said in a sing-song voice, "Thanks, Miss Harper," making her laugh as she left.

"Actually, I have to take a rain check on the pizza, everybody," Kevin said. "There's some rom-com on tonight and Marisol wanted to watch it with me and--"

"D'awwww," Cassie said. "Go. Enjoy. Thanks for the help. It should go well tomorrow.

"Yeah. Thanks, man," Mitch said.

The remaining four pretty much had everything finished, so Mitch called in for the pizzas-- one pepperoni and one veggie special, with him making sure to order from the place that didn't put broccoli on it because, as he thought, "Why? Why would you put broccoli on a pizza? Who hurt you?"

As they ate, Todd seemed a little quieter than usual.

"Hey, what's up, man? A little worried about what Thursday's going to do to your digestive system?" Mitch asked.

"Ha! I'm thinking it'll be Chris. Remember the vindaloo?"

"Don't remind me," Chris laughed. "But I've been building up a tolerance since then,"

"But no, I'm fine, but, uh, there is something I need to talk to you guys about. There's something I've been wanting to change about the show for a while and I think it's time," Todd said.

"Let me guess. Twitch streams? Don't you think you should have run it by us before?" Mitch asked.

"Not a bad idea, but no. And normally, yes, but this is, well, it's more personal. I've really enjoyed the cosplay videos," he said.

"As you should," Cassie said. "You're better at makeup than I am, for one."

"Heh. Yeah, about that. The thing is, as much as I love it, it goes deeper than that. It's just that I've felt more comfortable femmed up for a long time. The Todd stuff feels like the actual cosplay. I've been seeing a counselor and the truth is, I'm transgender. And I'm going to be transitioning. I start HRT next week."

"Woah, I guess I can't say I'm surprised. I mean, it does seem like you've enjoyed the things we've done where you're not dressed as Todd, like Brooklyn Barbie, more," Chris said.

"This is my not surprised face," Cassie said.

"How'd you know? I thought-"

"Oh, a lot of little things, not just the makeup part, either," Casssie replied.

Todd nodded, then said. "So, at some point soon, I'll be appearing as Alyssa, in real life first, then the channel. I hope you understand. This is something I need to do for my own well being. If you don't want to be part of the show, I-"

"Come on, Alyssa," Cassie said. "We're the Dynamic Four. Just because you're going to look different and everything, that won't change. What kind of jerk would I be to quit because you came out?"

Chris nodded in agreement

"Same here," Mitch said, "But, you know, Alyssa. If I'd known about this, I'd have ordered you a salad."

"Jerk!" she replied, whipping a charred pepperoni cup from her slice at his head as they both laughed.

As they continued to eat and ask more questions about Alyssa came to terms with her identity and about when and how she wanted to make the reveal publicly, Mitch felt something, becoming uncomfortable as he realized what it was. The words sped into his brain. "Am I envious of her? Oh, God. I think I am."

Things moved forward quickly. Alyssa's onscreen wardrobe was quickly less Todd-like. Plus, the realization came that between their socials and for her in public, the changes were becoming rather noticeable.

The video -- "Dynamic Four's Newest Member" -- drew an uptick in views and response was more positive than not. Sure, there were the faux edgelords repeating the same hacky attack helicopter jokes and groomer lies, but they were outnumbered. Alyssa mostly avoided the comments, but she was heartened that the four had cultivated a fanbase where the terrible people were outnumbered.

Her family had been pretty cool with her for the most part (and the ones that hadn't been weren't really well liked by the other relatives anyway).

And the rest of the Four had great. Chris (who survived the Hot Nuke) still had funny ideas, never missing a beat. Cassie treated her like they'd been besties since high school, even trying to encourage her to double date. And Mitch was still, well, Mitch, ever the steady glue (which is why she liked him and wanted to start the channel together). He was almost exactly like he'd been before. Almost. While he was the same with the channel work, he seemed quieter when they hung out. He never expressed anything against her transition, but something was off.

"I hope he isn't thinking of leaving me, because that would hurt. Leaving the channel. That's it. The channel," she thought.

Alyssa wasn't the only one to notice that Mitch hadn't been quite himself lately. His mother, Brandy, had seen him bloom in a lot of ways since she and his father had divorced. It hadn't hurt that she got the house, which turned out to be the perfect size for the setup he and Alyssa needed when they started the channel.

Rod was a dutiful enough father, but living on the other side of the country made it much more difficult for him to pester his son about not being a jock.

In the last year, she'd begun to have suspicions that maybe Mitch was gay. She wouldn't have been surprised if he'd started dating Alyssa when she was Todd. But, still, maybe gay or something else. She'd learned some things, but didn't let Mitch know that she knew. Her instinct told her not to push, so she just tried to make sure things were always welcoming. But it was really difficult waiting for her child to decide that it was time for whatever walls they had to come down.

Mitch was doing some final editing on the channel's year-end videos, basically its version of clip shows. They'd shot them earlier in December and he was putting the final touches on them so they'd be ready to upload daily the last week of the month.

It was good to have time alone because it allowed some all-too-rare time to think. Mitch couldn't help but notice how Alyssa was really coming into her own since she'd come out. She'd been really good before. Todd was, in a lot of ways who he wished he was -- more fearless, quick on his feet, full of ideas, just likable. He always felt like the mid version, like if you ordered Todd off Wish.

Now? Seeing Alyssa seem even more alive, "I'm Alyssa off Wish," the nameless young woman said, completing the thought aloud. "I don't even have a name for myself. Melinda was Cassie's idea, meant as a joke. I need a name for me, but I can't pick one. How pathetic is that?"

For her, seeing Alyssa's gender explorations had awakened what had been dormant in her since Dad was still in the house. And she was thrilled for Alyssa coming out and living her best life, but she was starting to feel left behind.

It also hadn't helped that, concurrently, she'd also started to crush pretty hard on Alyssa. But Alyssa preferred guys and the girl knew she couldn't be a guy much longer. Not to mention it would screw things up, both for the groove they were in as friends and for the channel.

Between the sinking feeling that she'd also need to come out and that crush, she felt so much more awkward around Alyssa.

"And how do I tell Mom?" the nameless girl thought. "She's awesome, but, still, I've been her only child, her son. I have that stash of clothes, but it's not like I've been able to let her see me. It took a long time for me to stop fearing seeing myself."

She finally finished the videos. She lined them up in order so it would only take seconds for her to upload one per day.

And with that out of the way, she started to search baby names the year she was born. Maybe something would jump out. Something had to, right?

New Year's Eve

The Four were set to get together to end the year at Alyssa's place. She picked up her phone and texted Mitch to see when he'd get his cute self there.

"Cute? I mean, he is, but I can't think of him that way, especially when the channel's going so well," Alyssa said to herself. "It wasn't like we have a no-dating rule, it's just that two of us have been single the whole time and Chris and Cassie have their own partners. And I have ideas for solo videos for Mitch, which he's always been reluctant to do. How would that look if we start dating and I say, 'Hey, let's give my boyfriend a solo spotlight?' Dammit Alyssa, just text him and leave the rest for now."

A few miles away, a cellphone buzzed, picked up by a mentally tired hand.

"Hey, Mitch. When r u coming?"

"Don't know. Might skip. Not feeling well."

"U sure?"

"Think so. Need rest."

"Bummer. We'll miss you."

"Sorry, catch up tomorrow?"

"Okay. Get better."

"Thanks. Have fun."

Audrey shut off her cell phone. She felt fine. It's just, she didn't want to be around people right now.

"Mitch. I'm starting to dislike that name. I wish I could tell her that it's Audrey now," she thought.

There'd been a list, she crossed most of them off. When she was down to a few, she waited until she was alone, went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and said, "Hi, I'm --" with each name. When she hit Audrey, she knew.

But she needed to get out of the house for a while. She traded her T-shirt for a hoodie, then made her way towards the door.

"Hey, kiddo. You going over to Alyssa's?" Brandy asked.

"Not yet, "Audrey said. "I just need to go for a walk and think."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Audrey said, a little more forcefully than she'd intended, hoping her mom didn't notice. "Nothing major. You know, sometimes I like to go to the beach, it helps take away the clutter in my head."

Brandy sighed, "Okay, just don't take too long, okay?"

"I won't, Mom," Audrey said, giving her mom a loving wave as she got to the door.

"Stay safe," Brandy said.

"You stay safe, too, Mom."

Nobody else was due to arrive for a while yet and her roommate Grace was with her family, Alyssa thought back to that text exchange. This wasn't like Mitch.

"Eh, screw it. I'm going to check up on him," she thought.

"Hey, Brandy. I thought I'd come check up on Mitch. Is he okay?"

"Yeah, sure he is. What do you mean?"

"Well, I texted him a while ago to see what time he was coming over and he said he was feeling a little sick and couldn't make it."

"That can't be. He would have told me. He's fine. Physically, at least," Brandy sighed. "Alyssa, you're a good friend to him. I'm concerned. He's been off for a while. Like, he's here and still does all the right things, but it's like something's bothering him, but he can't tell me."

"I thought I was the only one. Something's been off with him, since, well, ever since I came out to him, like he was a pod person from that old movie. I he doesn't do anything, because, because I don't think I could bear it if he-"

"No, no, Alyssa. I don't think it's anything drastic," Brandy said, noting the concern in Alyssa's face. "He said he wanted to walk and think. I bet you remember where."

Alyssa knew exactly where. The beach, probably the pier next to that seafood shack, Captain Ron's. He'd gone there since his mom felt he was old enough to go there safely on his own.

"I do, Brandy. I'll go down there and find him to see what's up. You're a good Mom, you know. He'll drop his guard around you soon enough," Alyssa said.

"And you're a great friend, Alyssa. Mitch is lucky to have you in his life. Really lucky," Brandy said.

Audrey had indeed wound up at the pier, nibbling on some fries and tartar sauce from Captain Ron's as she looked out the ocean coming in.

This was her place. She used to love hanging out on the beach with Mom and Dad, then just Mom. But her mind was very much on the present.

She was past asking herself why this happened to her. There was no "why" to it. She just was trans, as Alyssa was, too. And she knew what she needed to do. She just didn't know how.

The weather had started to turn, which helped make sure the seagulls weren't interested in stealing a fry or two. She looked and saw some clouds coming in. Realizing she wouldn't make it home before it started, she made her way up to the park across the street from Beach Drive.

She made it under a covered picnic shelter just before the rains started. "There's no one else here. Perfect," she thought. She sat on the top of the wooden picnic table then scootched herself into position, laid back, pulled the top of the hood over the top of eyes and listened to the rain hit the ceiling.

Now there was nothing but the sounds of steady rain pelting the roof and what was going through her brain.

Tomorrow's the first day of a New Year, as good a time to commit to seeing this through. "All those New Year's resolutions people don't follow up on, that can't be me," she thought. "It's time to get serious about being who I really am and maybe tell Alyssa I love- No, Audrey. One thing at a time. One thing at a time. Just be you."

She closed her eyes and, with that falling rain sound, she began to zone out, in a state awake, but unaware.

A few minutes later, sensing something or someone, Audrey opened her eyes and saw a woman, lifted the edge of the hoodie above her eyes and realized it was one very soaked and concerned-looking Alyssa.

"Look at this. It's a miracle. First he was too sick and now he's cured. Praise the Gods!," she said.

"Sorry, Alyssa. I just needed some time alone," Audrey said.

"Well, you could have just said that and I'd have understood. But, no, you keep it to yourself, like you've been doing for months. I've noticed it. Your mom's noticed it. If I asked Cassie and Chris, I'd bet they have, too. Kevin, even!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Audrey said unconvincingly.

"Come on, Mitch. We've known each other for how long? You don't expect me to buy that," Alyssa said, pausing for a moment. "Your mom's known you longer than that. If you can't trust us, who else are you supposed to trust? We're as safe a space as you can get."

"I know. It's just-"

"Mitch. You frustrate me so much. You know I was going to pitch you on doing some solo videos on the channel tonight. But now.."

"It's just as well."

"Why would you say that?" a surprised Alyssa asked.

"I can, but, I can't do more Mitch stuff."

"Why? You'd be great at that. The channel views-"

"It's not that I can't do the content. It's that, God, why is this so hard?"

"What is? Mitch, you can tell me."

Audrey hung her head and almost inaudibly said, "Because I'm not Mitch."

"What did you say?"

"Aaarrrgh! I can't be Mitch, because I'm trans, too!"

Alyssa was taken aback. "You're kidding!"

"Do I look like I'm kidding? Jeez! You said you and mom and everybody else in the world noticed something was up with me!"

"Sorry, I,I wasn't expecting this. I mean, I'm sorry. But you never," Alyssa said. "When we did the Making Up Mitch video, you looked like we'd asked Cam Murphy, the quarterback our senior year whose vocabulary was at least 50 percent 'bro' or 'dude', to do it."

"No, it wasn't that type of discomfort," Audrey said. "I was afraid, afraid everybody would know, that they'd see it wasn't a bit. You and Cassie did too good of a job on me. That was the first time I saw me, Audrey. It was my true self looking back at me. Alyssa, I've never been so scared in my life."

"Oh, no. I didn't mean to."

"No, it's okay. If it hadn't been then, it would have something else, and sooner rather than later. Besides, we sometimes have to suffer for our art, right?"

"You looked so awkward trying to walk in those heels."

"Faked it. I mean, those weren't the most practical pair, but I have a better walk than that."

"So, Audrey, does this mean we have to get ready for the 'Dynamic Four's Next Member' sequel? It'll be the first Audrey video, whenever you're ready."

"Okay. I think I can do that, but I probably should tell Mom first."

"You think?"

If Audrey had a charred pepperoni cup, she'd have nailed Alyssa with the head shot. "It's going to be a shock," she said. "I mean, I look like this. I always look like this."

"Loose fitting shirts, because you don't like seeing your body, right? I know that feeling. Remember how I used to dress until we started the Dynamic Two?"

"Yeah, but then you sprinted past me when Alyssa started to emerge."

Alyssa said, "It's not a race, you know. You're going your own pace," before raising an eyebrow and saying, "That said, why don't we start catching you up, let your mom meet the real you? She probably knows. Moms usually do. I mean, my mom knew. And my parents had seen me dress as at least three different Harley Quinns when I came out, but your Mom just needs to see one Audrey Harper. Come on, girl. We have to get you ready for your debut."

It didn't take long for Alyssa to call Cassie and over as an on-the-fly trained makeover specialist. And she had just the wig in mind, one she hadn't used for the channel yet, but it was a reddish brown that would look perfect on Audrey.

As Alyssa reached for the keys to start her car, Audrey said, "Whew. At least I didn't tell you I had a crush on y-," suddenly realizing she said it out loud instead of thinking it. "Shit.".

"Did I just hear what I think you said?"

Audrey tried to keep it together, "I guess I did. I've been thinking about it ever since you started to explore your gender, especially seeing you take off emotionally as Alyssa. I hope I didn't just make it all awkward and messed up. Really, it's okay if you don't feel the same way towards me."

Alyssa, after a pause, said, "Well, damn. You just moved up the timetable on my New Year's Resolution."

"What's that?" Audrey asked.

"To tell you I love you."

As far as first kisses go, Alyssa and Audrey had no complaints. Nor did they with the second or third. The rest would have to wait. They had a coming out to make happen.

Audrey had texted Brandy, letting her know she was with Alyssa and that they'd stop back by the house a bit later.

Alyssa knocked on the door with Audrey out of view. "Hi, Brandy. We're back. Can I come in? Mitch should be here in a minute."

As Alyssa stepped in to follow Audrey's mom, she stopped, looked at her new girlfriend and mouthed "Mitch. Ewww" and winked.

As Brandy went into the kitchen, the front door opened. Screening Brandy's view, Alyssa motioned Audrey in, then let her pass, whispering, "Good luck. I'll be right here if you need me."

Audrey, in a long red, pleated skirt, black top, the shoulder-length hair and suitable makeup, slowly stepped into her mother's view.

"Mom, I know you've been worried about me and, well, I have something to tell you."

Brandy sized up her daughter and said, "First, I love you. Second, you're beautiful. Third, I have one question -- 'Is this part-time or permanent?'"

"Permanent," Audrey said.

"Great. Now, why don't you and Alyssa stay here and invite your friends over to celebrate New Year's Eve here? I picked up some things while you were gone."

"That's it?!?!?!?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your only son comes and tells you she's actually your daughter and you're planning Hors d'oeuvres? Why aren't you y-" Audrey said.

"Look, kiddo. If you want me to pretend to be surprised, I can. I figured that it had something to do with your sexuality, gender or both. By the way, you don't have to hide your things anymore. We can clear out closet space for them and everything else you'll need."

"I don't know what to say."

Brandy came over and gave Audrey the hug she'd dreamed of getting from her mom. "I love you, look, I can't just call you sweetie or kiddo all the time. What's my daughter's name?"

"Audrey. It's Audrey. I don't have a middle name yet."

"Does Diane work? Your father and I would have named you after my mother if we'd known you were a girl."

"Audrey Diane Harper. I, I like that. But Dad-"

"Don't worry about your father. He may be clueless sometimes, but he won't get this wrong. You know, when I woke up, I really did have a feeling that you might have something important to tell me today. Oh and Alyssa, you can come back in."

"Cool. By the way I heard you, everybody's on on their way."

"Great, guess I'd better get the rest ready."

"We can help," Audrey said as she and Alyssa locked hands."Actually, Mom. It's two things I needed to tell you."

Brandy smiled and said, "Audrey, I thought you two were going to be the first thing."

With that, Audrey and Alyssa blushed simultaneously.

"Come on, you two," Brandy said. "We have a new year to get ready for."