Either Do it Right, or Don't Do it at All (Part 14)

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Either Do it Right, or Don't Do it at All
Part 14

by:
Lilith Langtree


She eyed me for a second and then reached into her robe pocket to produce something. Unfurling her fingers I saw what it was and sucked in a sharp breath.


 
Part 14

"I love you, Casidhe."

Oh my god.


~O~

If my heart beat any harder I might have needed a cardiologist in the near future.

"I..I…" I apparently can't speak properly anymore.

"You don't have to say anything right now. In fact, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't say anything positive or negative."

My eyebrows went into confusion mode. "Why?"

"Because, if you say you love me too, then I'll probably do something that neither of us is ready for, and if you say you don't or that you want to slow down, then I'll be a useless lump of flesh for the next year." I made to respond, but he kissed me again, just a peck. "I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

I made my decision, spur of the moment, and stepped back, opening the door further. "Come in, Mark."

He shook his head in regret. "I don't want to screw us up."

Determination set in my face. "We need to talk and I'd like to get out of these heels, so you can come inside, or I can suffer while we stand here. Appealing to his more chivalrous side, I won. It was a little victory, I know, but sometimes the little victories are what make life worth living.

"I'm sorry." He stepped inside and I closed the door behind him.

"Don't apologize, baby. Most guys don't wear heels, so they can't really understand that they sometimes hurt after prolonged wear."

I watched him for a second, specifically his hands. The fingers twitched a little before he noticed what I was looking at and disappeared them in his pockets. Trying not to let him see that I was affected by his nervousness I crossed the living room and turned on a light before sitting down on the couch. Mark followed a few seconds after and I saw his indecisive gaze linger on one of the armchairs before reacting to my subtle patting on the couch beside me.

The air had grown with tension and I couldn't take it anymore. "Mark, sit by me, please," I almost pleaded.

Being the gentleman he was, it didn't take long for him to comply. While he was trying to look casual, I reached down to slip off the slingbacks and curl my stocking clad feet underneath me.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in your head."

His eyes fluttered close and I thought he was going to make a run for it; anything to avoid the impending conversation. I saw that I had made things extremely uncomfortable, and regretted that.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't fair to you." His eyes opened back up and he looked at me with a tinge of relief. "Let me tell you what's going on in my head and we'll take it from there, okay?"

Mark nodded and the tension in his shoulders eased. I looked toward the kitchen and suddenly craved a Coke, but I held back. This needed to be done tonight, or at least started tonight anyway.

"Remember when we first met?"

He nodded.

"That's when I fell for you."

Mark blinked his eyes once and they widened a bit afterward.

"It was when you picked up my sandal and put it back on my foot. It was incredibly sweet of you." Without pausing for a reaction I continued. "But you were a senior and I was a lowly sophomore, not to mention the possessive girlfriend that was pulling you away at the time.

"Chloe and I talked after. I was all gooey-eyed and sighing in quite the Jane Austin way, and she set me straight. I was the new girl, and half the female population of Desmond already had the hots for you. I didn't stand a chance. So I moved on."

He made to interrupt me, but I held up my hand. "You didn't want to go first, so you have to wait now."

A nod of acceptance, and I leaned my head to the back of the couch. "Over the last four months I got to know you. Not only how dedicated you are to your schooling, but I got to know the guy behind all of the flash of baseball captain, and upper crust family, not to mention the body of a Greek god and eyes that make me want to melt every five seconds I'm around you."

I stopped for a moment and gave him a wispy smile. "I got to see that you were thoughtful, courteous, very funny, and a hopeless romantic. So what's a girl to do but fall in love?"

I leaned back as he made his move to kiss me. It took all of my willpower to do it, but I put a hand in between us. "Sorry, you have to hear the whole thing first."

Seeing the internal conflict he was suffering I tried to speed things along. "So then we come to your parents. From what I remember, they were a lot like my parents. I can see how much they love you and want what is best for you."

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Did they say something I missed?"

I looked away, to the coffee table. "While you were upstairs getting ready, your mom and I had a talk."

"Oh no."

With a somewhat repressed giggle, I clarified. "It wasn't anything bad. No baby photos were involved. She just wanted to know a little bit about me and what I had planned for the future."

Raking his hand over his mouth let me know that Mark wanted me to get on with it and hit him with the worst of the news.

"I could see the wheels turning in her head, Mark. She's already planning the wedding." I smiled at him with my own conspiratorial grin. "It's okay, moms do this. It doesn’t mean anything except that she approves of me. But it got me thinking about the future."

"Casidhe," he poked in. "I'm in no rush. You're only sixteen. I don't expect…"

"Shh! I'm not finished."

"Right, sorry."

I clasped my hands together and intertwined my fingers. "I want you to think about something, very carefully." He confirmed his acquiescence. "Let's say for argument's sake that a few years down the road we were to get married, okay?" He nodded. "You are the only male child in your family. I won't be able to give you any children."

"Casidhe, that doesn't…"

"Sush! I'm still not finished." Easing the grip I had on each of my hands was important, because they were beginning to hurt. "It does matter. You are going to make a fabulous father one of these days, Mark, but I'll never be able to be the one to make that happen for you."

"Casidhe, I'm adopted."

Why does this keep happening to me? I go all into the self sacrificing rant mode and I keep getting cut off because I've gone in the completely wrong direction.

Tears raced down my cheek and I made some incomprehensible noise before Mark pulled me into him. My fingernails dug into his shirt, and I barely kept it together. "I love you so much, Mark. It's driving me nuts."

"Shh, it's okay," he breathed into my hair.

"We haven't even gone out for our second date! I shouldn't be feeling this much."

I saw him reach over to the side table, and soon thereafter a tissue appeared in my field of vision.

"Casidhe, my parents met when they were on separate vacations in Hawaii. For almost two weeks they got to know each other, which mainly, to my horror I found out, consisted of a lot of sex."

I giggled and sniffled at the same time. I don't recommend trying this at home.

"She came back here, and Dad went back to Chicago. A month later he packed everything he owned and moved here to finish college and to be next to her." Mark petted my hair soothingly. It was starting to become one of my favorite pastimes. "Love sometimes happens that fast, and it's intense when it does. But we've got a couple of years before you finish school and go to college. We can wait and make sure what we feel isn't hormones. But it doesn't stop us from enjoying the moment."


~O~

Susan's gonna kill him. I remember my nose itched, and then waking up in his arms, on the couch. It was after two in the morning and we had fallen asleep. I shook Mark's shoulder. "Baby, wake up."

Mark snorted a little and shifted until his eyes opened in confusion. "Cas…?"

I unfurled my legs and stood up a bit shakily. "You can't go home this late." Holding my hand out I gave him a grab hold gesture. "Let's go to bed."

He tried to blink away his sleepiness. "Are you sure, Casidhe?"

I nodded. "I think we're both too tired to do anything naughty anyway. So, there's no getting out of being in my bed tonight, baby."

We retreated upstairs and I washed my face while Mark was settling himself in an unfamiliar bed. After changing into my babydoll with matching panties, I flipped off the light to the bathroom and entered the darkness of my bedroom. I could see Mark's outline in the dim light that sifted through one of the windows and chose the opposite side of the bed.

Remembering a magazine article in some airport a few years back, I smiled. It said that men naturally slept closest to the door in case they had to defend their women in the middle of the night.

"Are you sure you want me in here. I can sleep in another bed…"

"You are kidding, right? We're young and in love. We have the house all to ourselves and you want to sleep in another bed?" I kidded him playfully.

I pulled the covers down and climbed in. "If you think I am letting this chance go by without taking full advantage of the situation then you aren't as smart as I thought you were." I paused for a second before a thought came to me. "What are you wearing underneath those covers?"

"Um, my t-shirt and slacks."

I giggled, just a little bit. "Mark, I promise I won't attack you. Underwear is more than enough."

"But…"

"Strip mister, before I wake up anymore and keep you up all night."

I savored the next moments as any girl would. He tossed the covers back and stood beside the bed, peeling his slacks off. The moonlight wouldn't reveal the color of said underwear, but I could tell it was the sporty kind that had a strip of elastic on the sides instead of the complete tighty-whitey variety. Trying not to stare was becoming a chore. Instead I tore my eyes away and watched as he pulled off his tee and set it aside.

He moved rather slowly, indicating his comfort with me seeing his body. Why would he be uncomfortable? He knew what I thought of him. The fact that I had an almost constant desire to lick every… okay get off that topic, Casidhe. Sleep.

Mark got back into bed and adjusted his pillow for maximum fluffiness and then I slid in and hitched my leg over his and my arm across his chest. I sighed deeply. This is what every evening should be like. "Perfect."

"Yeah."


~O~

To my knowledge I haven't slept with somebody in the bed with me since I was about five, and woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. It was my mother then that came to my rescue. From what I remember, the feeling of waking up and seeing my mother's smiling face was absolutely nothing in comparison to seeing Mark's.

I was laying in the crook of his arm, against his chest and he was doing his best to watch me. An embarrassed smile slid across my face and I rubbed at my nose before lightly patting him on his chest. "Quit looking at me. I've got to be major league scary in the mornings."

"I don't see how you do this," he said low, but not in a whisper, almost like he didn't want to break the sanctity of the moment. "Every day we've been together you get more and more beautiful."

Reaching across his chest I pulled myself into him even more, tangling our legs together and snuggling my head under his chin. "Keep talking like that and you'll be stuck with me forever."

My eyes sprang open and I tensed. "Sorry, jumping the gun a little there."

"It's okay." His hand ran down my back, comforting me. "I think it's natural, planning for the future. I mean we wouldn't be dating otherwise, right?"

Letting my hand go in exploration of my boyfriend's chest with a single finger I asked, "How do you mean?"

He composed himself in thought. "The whole point with dating is to search for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. At least it's that way with me."

"Me too."

"Good. So I don't mind talk of the future. It gives us a chance to let each other know what to expect."

I thought on that. "Give me a 'for instance'."

"Hmm, okay. I'm going to say for argument's sake, from here on out, that in a few year's time I propose, we get married, and settle down. Whatever context settling down means."

I nodded and found myself tracing the lines of his pectoral muscles. "Okay. Sounds reasonable."

"So, at some point I want to have children. I assume we'll adopt."

"Naturally."

"How many kids do you want?"

I let out a puff of warm air across his chest in a slight giggle. "Um… at least three."

"Three?"

"Four?" I countered.

He chuckled, which was a wonderful sound, hearing it directly from his chest.

"I was an only child. Maybe it's because of that. I couldn't imagine a more happier sound than having an armful of children laughing with me," I explained.

I felt him nod. "Okay, four kids."

"You do realize that we haven't even officially gone on our second date yet, and here we are in bed, after an emotional evening, sorting out the rest of our lives?"

"You forgot that we are still both teenagers," he countered.

"Good point."

"How about we go on that second date. It is Saturday, after all."

My knee hiked up a little and I felt something… whoops. "Sorry."

"It's natural, happens every morning."

"Every morning?" That was something that I didn't know. Must be a guy thing that I never experienced.

"Uh huh."

"And do you have to do anything to make it go away?"

"Go to the bathroom."

Ah! It's one of 'those' physical male things. Since voiding his bladder made the Louisville Slugger go away I deduced his prostate was being stimulated with pressure from his bladder. But that didn't explain why I never got erections. Not that I ever wanted one. Blech. How do guys even put up with something going all hard at the slightest reason. That had to be uncomfortable.

"Well, I suppose I should let you take care of that. Then we get to go over to your place and explain to your mother how you took advantage of me last night."

His hands jumped to my sides and started dancing around on my ribs. A loud shriek rent the air as I was definitely not used to being tickled, especially first thing in the morning. On the other hand, trying to respond by tickling Mark was like trying to tickle a large piece of granite. Sometimes life was so unfair.


~O~

The look we received, from Susan, upon entrance through the back door was odd, to say the least. It wasn't accusatory in the slightest bit. I think I would describe it as, 'I know what you two have been up to, don't think I don't,' mixed with, 'I'm waiting for an answer before I pass judgment,' with just a dash of, 'you kids are so cute that I am going to laugh myself silly listening to what you are about to make up.'

I push Mark ahead and give him a nod. "Go shower and change. I'll talk with your mother."

"But…"

"This is a ladies only conversation, Mark. You haven't been certified yet to know what goes on in the girls bathroom much less with mother/girlfriend talks."

"Oh," he said in understanding, only to look more confused than ever. "What?"

I pulled him down and kissed him with a smile. "Go on."

He disappeared and I turned back to Susan, who was sitting there in a very nice silk robe, sipping on a mug of coffee, giving me a very amused looked. She held up her mug and offered. "Coffee?"

I looked around. "Thank you. Just point me and I can get it."

She gestured to her left and I saw the half empty carafe and a heating pad on the counter.

"So?"

I had my back to her as I filled a mug I snagged off of a nearby mug tree and added one sugar. "Susan. I love your son."

Waiting for a response was almost brutal, but I did, busying myself with a stir stick.

"I know."

Releasing a breath I took another before trudging on. "Has he told you about my medical condition?"

"A little. He told Michael and I about your parents, and that you were injured at the time."

I sipped at the coffee. Mmm, Starbucks Morning Blend. Turning around, I made my way back to the counter and took one of the empty stools. After setting my coffee down I looked up at her. All previous emotion was wiped from her face.

"On a related matter, I can't have sex… at least not until my operation at the end of the year."

She reared her head back a little and nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. No need to be sorry. I just wanted to tell you that so that you don't think ill of Mark staying over last night."

Susan blinked a little, unsure of what to say.

"When we got home we had a very emotional little talk, and as a result fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around two'ish and dragged him up to a proper bed."

She smiled in response to that and then stopped. "Did the two of you sleep together?"

I didn't wait, to let her know that I wasn't making this up as I went along. "He was every bit a gentleman, but I wanted to know what it felt like waking up in his arms."

My face started to radiate a little heat. I knew it was starting to redden.

"Mark told me that you live by yourself."

I nodded. "Gramps made sure I was emancipated after his death. I've been alone since the end of November."

"So, in the eyes of the law, you are an adult?"

Again I nodded. "For almost everything, yes."

She sipped at her coffee. "Mark is eighteen. Other than living in this house and abiding by the rules his father and I set down, he's free to make his own decisions." After clearing her throat a little she continued. "That does not mean that I won't give unsolicited advice or tell him when he is wrong."

My hands worried at the handle of the mug I was nervously turning around in a circle. "If what I've seen from Mark is any indication of what you and Michael are capable of in terms of raising a son, then I'd want to hear your opinion on what we did."

Susan's head tilted a little to the side. "I've never seen Mark so happy." She got up and walked over to the carafe to top off her mug. "Don't get me wrong. He was always a happy child growing up. We were amazingly lucky that he turned out that way he did. But since, oh I'd say around February or so, his attitude has changed."

Which coincides amazingly with the downfall of the Ex-girlfriend from the Black Lagoon.

"In what way?"

"He's surprisingly serious about his life now." She smiled a little in remembrance. "He's making plans for college and has been very talkative with his father about life. I think we have you to thank for this."

My head dropped and my face finished its journey into the lava pit.

"So you can see my dilemma." Retaking her seat, she set her mug down. "Do I act all motherish and annoying, or do I encourage you two to continue the path that you are on? Both of you are still quite young, but seem well beyond the normal stages of the typical High School crush."

I nodded and tried to lower the blood level to my face. "That's one of the things that Mark and I spoke about last night and this morning."

"Any conclusions?" she asked with great interest right before sipping on her freshly filled mug.

"We both want four children."

I couldn't help it. It just came out. I had to dodge pretty quickly to avoid the spray of coffee. Just at that point Michael strolled through the kitchen door and stopped. "Darling, why are you spitting coffee all over Casidhe?"

Susan gave me my #2 Death Stare. Hey, that's patented! It morphed into Delighted Vengeful Glare #4 otherwise known as the, 'you asked for it, sucker.' Oh no!

"It seems that Casidhe and Mark are planning on making us grandparents earlier than we thought."

"You're pregnant!" came a little preteen girl's voice from behind Michael.

"What?!" Oh sure, why not add Mark to the mix as well.

Susan looked well and truly pleased with her parry of my 'coffee spray ploy' and countered with the 'embarrassed in front of the entire family decapitation scenario.' I was in the presence of a true master of the art! Should I grovel and ask her forgiveness, or perhaps counter with one of my more lethal jabs, or … oh, I know.

I palmed my hands together and bent deeply at the waist. "I am at your mercy, Madame Vengeance. Can this unworthy girl be found moderately talented enough to study the ancient art of verbal swordplay at your side?"

She eyed me for a second and then reached into her robe pocket to produce something. Unfurling her fingers I saw what it was and sucked in a sharp breath.

"If you can take the scrunchie from my hand, you will be found worthy, young one."

Lightening quick I whipped my hand out but was denied when she jerked away. "Sucker!"

GAAAAAH!!!

"Does this mean you aren't pregnant?"

After giving Susan a playful glare I finally answered Casey. "No, sweetie. I'm not. Mommy was just playing around with Daddy, and used me as her foil because she has a drinking problem."

Touché! Haw haw, Now run away or I shall taunt you a second time! Pfft!

"Casidhe O'Connor!" she replied in a loud disapproving voice, but not quite.

I grabbed my boyfriend. "Hurry Mark, make a break for it! I'll hold her off! I've got the coffee held hostage." I grabbed my stir stick and held it up to the carafe. "Nobody moves or the Starbucks Morning Blend gets it."

"Now that's just playing dirty," shot Susan.

I eyed her warily and then arched an eyebrow. "Truce?"

Uh oh, the, 'can I get her with one more' tongue on the corner of her mouth pose. So, I poked the carafe.

"Fine. Truce, for now, young upstart. One day you will be mine."

Dropping the stir stick I reached up to Mark. "Yea!" I kissed him on the cheek. "The student has become the master."

Susan giggled, just a little. "Come on Darth Casidhe. Help me clean up for breakfast."

Michael looked at Susan and then at me. "Both of you are insane, you know this, right."

I shrug, more than pleased. "That's the way Mark likes me."


~O~

I was assigned to cutting the vegetables, while Susan worked on the omelet base. The boys were setting the breakfast table in the next room and drinking coffee.

I was the little woman in the kitchen with her prospective 'maybe someday mother in law' helping to prepare breakfast!

"What are you all happy about?" asked Susan with genuine happy curiosity.

I looked away from the pepper I was dicing to her face. "I…"

She stopped beating the eggs and set her hand on my forearm. "Casidhe?"

My eyes burned for a second. I knew they were going glassy. "I'm sorry." A quick sniff later and I unburdened myself. "I’m just very happy right now. All of you have been so wonderful…"

Setting down the bowl, Susan took me in her arms and squeezed me, lovingly. "And we're happy to have you with us. You make us very happy too, Casidhe."

I tried to breathe through the emotions welling up inside, but it was no use. "It's been so long," I quietly sobbed. "I miss my mom and dad."

"Oh sweetie." Her arms tightened and eased the pain that had built up for so many years in my chest. "Well, you're stuck with us. We're your family, now." She reared back a little and held me by the shoulders. "Even if things," she shrugged and winced a little. "Even if things don't eventually work out between you and Mark, you can come to us."

That did it. Tears poured rivers down my face, and I could see that it was having an effect on Susan as well. She was good people. Very good people.

"Now, before you have me totally lose it, go clean yourself up and take a minute, okay?"

I gave her my most complying smile, and after grabbing my purse, followed her directions to the closest restroom, down the hall, off the kitchen. Looking at my self in the large oval mirror, I cringed. It wasn't awful, thanks to the waterproof mascara, but I was smudged and red eyed.

A few cleansing breaths later, I turned the cold water on and dabbed at my face to remove the worst of the damage. A few minutes later, I wasn't perfect, the red eyes and all, but I was repaired. I turned the water off and heard whispering on the other side of the door. Maybe they weren't aware of it, but the walls and door in that particular restroom were amazingly paper thin. Holding my purse against my chest I leaned into the door and concentrated my hearing on what was being said.

"… serious, Mark. She's in a very fragile state right now. If you aren't one hundred percent serious about pursuing her right now, then I want you to break it off."

"Mom, I am serious. She's great!"

"I know."

Gah! Something was said too low for me to hear." … is in love with you and it would piss me off to no end to find out that you had been stringing her along."

"I'm not. I love her, Mom."

Dammit! My eyes are burning again!

"… after only four months."

"… you and Dad… two weeks."

"Good point."

The conversation paused for a couple of moments. "I need to go get breakfast ready. Take as much time as she needs. I'll keep it warm for you."

With one more cleansing breath, I checked my face once more and then opened the door. He was leaning against the wall opposite the restroom looking concerned, and stood straight when I emerged.

"Sorry," I said with more than a little embarrassment. "Everything just rushed up and smacked me in the head."

He didn't say a word about being silly, and instead closed the distance between us and took me in his arms. "I love you, you know that, right?"

I gave him one really good squeeze and then backed away, quickly fanning my hands at my eyes. "Don't make me cry again, Mark."

Maybe these hormones I was taking weren't worth all of the emotional upheaval I had been experiencing over the last week. I swear, the last five years I hadn't cried once, and now I was like a leaky faucet all the time.

"I'm sorry."

A little hiccup jarred me and I giggled. "It's nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. I haven't been so happy since before my parents… you know."

He nodded. "Sure."

"I guess it was just too much." I ran my free hand across his chest in circles. "Your mom and I, in the kitchen making breakfast for you and your dad… and Casey too. It felt very… right, I guess. Very domesticated. Like I was the little woman and you were my husba…" My eyes widened at what was spewing from my lips. "And I'm probably scaring the hell out of you right now."

A bark of laughter burst forth from his lips. I was in his arms again, melting from the love the Tanner family had shown me. It was too perfect, too storybook. It most definitely had to be a dream, but if it was then god help me if I ever woke up, because I wouldn't be able to go on if it all was imaginary.


~O~

The omelets were perfect, the juice perfect, the side of bacon more meat and not so much fat — perfect, and the cheerful company — surreal. As I waited for Mark to circle the Viper, after opening my door for me, I realized how emotionally exhausted I already felt, and it was only nine in the morning!

Mark made himself comfortable and made sure I was buckled in before securing himself and putting the car into gear. Before he released his hold on the brake I set my hand against his. He was content and ready for a day with his girlfriend. I could almost see the satisfaction on his face.

"Thank you for sharing your family with me."

It looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't know exactly how to put it into words, instead the sides of his lips curled slightly. "Are you ready?"

I nodded and squeezed his hand before retrieving mine, and leaned back for where he was taking me, because this was going to be the best day of my life.


~O~

"Minigolf?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with minigolf?"

I giggled. "Absolutely nothing. It's brilliant, actually."

"I know," he said in a self-congratulatory way. My boyfriend is a little goofy sometimes, but it was endearing. "Besides, nothing cool opens until eleven so we need to work up an appetite for lunch."

"Wonderful reasoning, baby." I had to stick it to him a little. "You do know that the mall opens at ten and Macy's is having a sale today?"

He swallowed dramatically, it was more of a gulp. "We… could go… shopping if you want."

I grabbed a hold of his upper arm and pulled him down for a kiss. "I'm kidding. I'm not quite the clothes hound Chloe is." As a flirty afterthought I added, "Though I could use some more lingerie. Did you like the babydoll I wore last night?"

"Uh huh." Good, I have him speechless.

"I was thinking something along the lines of a corset, and …"

"Baby, I'm not going to be able to play right if I'm thinking of you dressed like that."

With a naughty grin I laughed lightly. "My point exactly."


~O~

Mark sooooo let me win. How do I know? On the fifth hole I was distracted by a pretty waterfall on an upcoming course, but managed to see him bank three times off opposing walls to hole the ball with the first shot. He looked satisfied, but not ecstatic like I was when I made a hole in one by accident on the second hole. Isn't he sweet!

Afterward, we went down to the boardwalk where they had live music by an outdoor Cajun restaurant. I was treated to a very messy meal of boiled crawfish, new potatoes, and corn on the cob. Mark taught me how to peel the disgusting things and suck their heads to remove the juice. I squealed in fright, but had the most fun helping him remove the spicy juices dripping from his mouth. I may have used my own mouth at the time, but I think it was worth it in the end.

"I think I'm going to explode. I'm bloated."

"So, no cotton candy?"

With our fingers laced, my hand felt tiny in comparison to his, but I squeezed hard anyway. There was no way I could actually hurt him, even if I wanted. I squeezed out a plea. "Share with me?"

Mark just rolled his eyes a little and smiled. Yeah, I can be goofy too. I spotted an unoccupied bench close by. "I need to put on a little sunscreen. I don't want to freckle up."

He nodded. "I'll be right back."

Retrieving a tube of odorless sunscreen from my purse I slipped off my sandal and spread a good sized dollop down my leg, careful to make sure I was completely covered. This was the one problem with being fair skinned and a red head. Freckles. The make up I was wearing insured my face was safe since it included a blocker in the mix, but my arms and legs were in danger from exposure, not to mention my tummy. It was amazing how much skin girls actually showed in relation to boys.

My shorts barely inched past my butt, unlike Mark's which were past his knees, and the tee I chose for the day bottomed out at the lowest rib in my chest, so I was showing quite a lot of belly considering the shorts were also low rise. Thank goodness I regularly shaved the small amount of hair I grew down below, or I'd be quite the slut today.

I looked up before switching to my left leg to repeat the process and saw Mark watching me with avid interest from the cotton candy vendor's cart. He had chosen blue and was standing there holding a single paper cone looking thingie with a mountain of puff on top. I gave him a tooth filled smile and finger waved.

Stretching out my left leg, I gave him a bit of a show, now that I knew what held his attention. I had almost forgot: eyes, butt, and legs were his thing. So I lightly covered my foot and then slipped it back into the sandal, and then stood up to turn around, like I needed somewhere to set the tube of sunscreen. I bent over at the waist and slid my hands down my leg, rubbing the sunscreen over my thigh and spending an inordinate amount of time on my calf and ankle, before straightening out and turning back around.

Whoops.

Mark was about five feet away holding only the paper cone thingie. The cotton candy was on the ground beside him. My shorts felt a little weird and I reached back to tug them down. I knew they were too short. I hope my cheeks didn't escape so I didn't show too much… really. I do know that my thong was firmly embedded in my butt at the moment, but pulling that out would probably be kind of rude in public.

I looked down at the blue confection beside Mark's foot and I may have smiled a little. "Distracted?"

"That was evil."

"Uh huh." Going up on my toes I kissed him and whispered in his ear. "Just remember. What you saw is all yours."

"Here you go dude. Completely understandable." I looked around Mark and saw the vendor holding out another cone of cotton candy. I thanked him with a bright smile. Guys are just too easy.


~O~

We walked to a nearby park and watched kids fight for dominance at the playground swings and massive fort built just for them, and then sat and watched the ducks swim by in the large pond in the center of the park. We may or may not have made out for a short time on that bench. I didn't want to scare the kiddies after all.

The day was simple and sweet. We didn't do anything over the top, just spending time getting to know one another was enough, and I was cemented into being his girl for as long as he'd have me. If he were to have pulled out a ring and proposed I probably would have said yes. That's how far gone I am. Stupid and immature? Probably. Love sick and overly emotional? Most assuredly. Well in the deep end, over my head in delusional lala land. Beyond question.

Young and in love with no care in the world? Without any doubt whatsoever.


~O~

My eyes were closed almost the entire way home, but a smile graced my face in memory of the single perfect day. Fantasies coursed through my head of fantastic futures and even more days like the one we had experienced: Having the operation and finding out I had been a real girl all along, it all being a huge mistake; making love with Mark in front of a soft fire in some mountain cabin; becoming pregnant and giving birth to our first child and breastfeeding him as my husband watched on in awe; growing old, but staying young in heart; watching our children graduate…

But then it all was interrupted by a loud screech and darkness.


~O~

"Mark…" Ugh. My throat was raw and my voice horse, deeper than normal.

"Casidhe?" a familiar young voice whispered.

The smell of antiseptic filled my nose. That was familiar as well. I tried opening my eyes but one of them was covered. The other crusted close from too much sleep.

"Casey?"

I felt her take my left hand. "Stay still, I'll be right back."

My fingers gripped her hand and I wouldn't let go. "No… what happened," I rasped. "Where's Mark?"

My other hand wouldn't move right as I tried to wipe at my eye so I could see.

"I'll go get Mom and Dad. They went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I promised I'd get them if you woke up."

I released her hand and dug at my eye as I heard Casey dart from the room. Dammit! I was in the hospital. What happened? Where was Mark? Clearing away most of the crap in my free eye I was able to blink my vision to a semblance of normal.

My right arm was in a cast past my elbow and from the feel of my face, I probably had a head injury. Mark would tell me what happened.

"Mark?"

I turned my head, and my vision swam. The knot growing in my stomach hurt and was getting worse.

"Mark?" I whispered to the empty room.

Someone came into the room that I didn't recognize. He was wearing blue scrubs and had a stethoscope hanging out of his pocket. "Miss O'Connor. It's good to see you back with us."

"Where's Mark?" I asked, bordering on the edge of panic. Tears blurred my eye and I brushed at my face. "My husband… where is he?"

"Miss O'Connor, you'll need to calm down. You shouldn't be exerting…"

"FUCK YOU! WHERE'S MY HUSBAND!" I was beyond any sense of calm. "MARK! MARK!"

The nurse or doctor or whoever the hell he was leaned over me as I thrashed on the bed. He didn't try to grab at me, just prevented me from getting up.

"Miss O'Connor, stop, you'll aggravate your injuries."

"Oh my god." Susan!

I reached back and hit the guy holding me down as hard as I was able. "Susan! Where's Mark! MARK! GET OFF ME YOU FUCK! WHERE'S MY HUSBAND!"


~O~

"… and you can kiss my ever loving ass, Mr. Sebastian. Casidhe needs family and I am family," Susan's voice whispered angrily.

"I'm am her lawyer and a close family friend, Mrs. Tanner. You have no legal hold over Casidhe or else I would know about it. I don't know you and I'm asking you nicely, one more time, before I have security brought up here and have you escorted from the room."

"Just try it, and I'll have your balls for breakfast." Venom filled Susan's voice as she growled out the threat.

"…" I tried to speak, but nothing came out, so I did the only thing I had the strength to do, bang my cast against the safety bars that held me from falling out of the bed accidentally.

Susan's eyes widened when she saw my movement, and she pushed Sam out of the way. "Casidhe!"

Clearing my throat hurt worse than ever.

"Oh! Hold on, let me get you some water."

"Perhaps, you should wait until the doctor says it's okay for her to have water, Mrs. Tanner."

"Put a sock in it, Sebastian."

She directed a bendy straw to my lips and I sucked greedily.

"Not too much, just soothe your throat."

I did as instructed and let the straw go. As before, Mark was the first thing on my mind. "Mark?"

"He's next door, sweetie," she said as she brushed away the hair hanging in my face. "Michael and Casey are with him."

"Are the babies okay?"

Her face went all strange like she didn't know what I was talking about, but it changed again and she smiled at me sweetly. "The babies are just fine, Casidhe. Your friend is babysitting."

Oh good. "Chloe's a wonderful aunt isn't she?"

Susan's eyes went all glassy and a tear ran down her face. "Yes, baby. She's the best." She sniffed and covered her mouth for a moment. "Tell me about the babies, sweetie, okay?"

I closed my eye for a moment. Focusing was becoming a problem, but I opened it again a second later.

"… medication… mild hallucina… along with it for now."

Susan appeared again. "Hey," she looked better than just a second ago. "You're with us again."

I felt her hand on my fingertips. "Mikey starts school this fall. Little Chloe is mad at him for leaving her."

"That's what children do, Casidhe."

I smiled a little at her but it hurt, so I winced.

"Are you in pain, sweetie?"

Shaking my head was a bad idea. "I want to be awake for Susan's feeding. Don't make me go back to sleep."

Mom's face didn't look so good anymore. "Don't cry, Mom. Everything will be…"

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Comments

Stunningly beautiful writing

persephone's picture

Lilith

This is stunning. I honestly don't know what else to say.

Persephone

Persephone

Non sum qualis eram

TY!

Nothing more need be said, thank you.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

I absolutely love this

Humour, then disaster. What a way to leave me at bedtime.

So realistic, you could have been there.

Susie

Sorry

Sorry for the cliffhanger, but believe me, it could have been much worse, much like I first planned. I'm happy that you love the story and sorry that I left it in such a state. More realism ahead!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

If there was an

award for the best chapter in a story on BC/TS, Then this roller-coaster of emotions would surely win it!! When i had finished reading it, I just sat and stared at my laptop for a good five minutes and that to me says it all!!!!What marvelous talent for storytelling you have Lili...Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!!

Kirri

Wow!

Just...wow! What a twist! You're amazing Lilith, but don't leave us hanging too long! :)

Saless
 


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America

Timing

I will try not to leave the next chapter for too long. However, it will probably be the hardest chapter in the story. As I like to make it as realistic as possible, I don't want to screw up the medical problems that Casidhe will be facing, so a little more research than normal is needed. I hope to have it out no later than Sunday, if things go as planned.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Oh, wow!

You had me crying by the middle, by the end I was in the middle of an "Oh My God!" moment. I thought premonition or something like that, until I read the bit about feeding. OTOH, it is within the realm of possibility. I do know what got Mrs. T going, I just wonder how much medical information they have received about Cas.

I can identify with her in so many ways, I cringe to think this could all come apart. I don't think she could survive (or want to) if it ended now. Dying of a broken heart is possible.

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Again, sorry

About the only thing that isn't realistic about this story is the unbelievable amount of tragedy Casidhe has gone through. But it wouldn't be the story it is if I didn't torture her like I have. Keeping this in consideration will allow you a better chance in figuring out your question regarding this chapter. I can't really say anything else or I'll ruin the tension I've tried to build for the next chapter. I'm really sorry.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Lilith! <points to me>

Ummmm I think I have been through more tragedy in my life than you wrote for Casidhe - by a whole lot! More than almost anyone on this site or that I know of. Can PM me for more details, but most people know it who have been here for 2 years or more. It is not something to brag about, but I would dearly like to trade my life for a new one.

So take heart that what you wrote for Casidhe, is by comparison to me, very light indeed.
 
 

Sephrena Lynn Miller
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com

I'm stunned!

Putting thoughts into words is exceedingly hard at the moment.

Mark and Casidhe are incredibly happy together. She has a family and feels wanted and loved. A little voice told me it couldn't last, because the same little voice is enjoying this story and never wants it to end.

But then there's the car crash. Soooo many questions, so few answers, so very EVIL cliffhanger. As if I needed a reason to be excited about the next chapter.

I'm glad Sebastian's back. I like the guy. He gets stuff done. He just has to walk carefully around Susan.

I hereby thank my favorite, very productive author. And because of the evil cliffhanger, I urge her to keep typing!


-Christelle

"Fun-loving geek-chick looking for someone who doesn't give a damn about her past"


-Christelle

"Fun-loving geek-chick who's addicted to sunlight!"

Sam Sebastian

Keep typing, I will! Sam Sebastian is back and will in the next chapter quite a bit, as he is the only person that has a legal say for Casidhe's medical needs, plus Susan needs someone to butt heads with.

Thanks for your continued support, Christelle!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Wow

And what a rollercoaster of a chapter and just as thrilling. Happy to see that Mark is alive (assuming its not hallucination)... I was expecting that he'd been killed at first. Great writing with a completely unexpected, unexpectable twist.

*cringe*

*cringe* I better not comment on this one. Bad things could happen. But thanks for reading!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

appreciate

You're responding to comments. Thanks.

Chloe?

Delayed responce to an earlier reading. Other than echoing everybody else, I'm wondering why Susan got teary-eyed when Casidhe mentioned Chloe? Who was in the vehicle that collided with them? OMG!


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

I think she was referring to

I think she was referring to one of her imagined children, rather than her friend. At least, I hope so!

Saless
 


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America


"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America

I hope

You are right. But Susan's tear was a reaction to Casidhe's comment that Chloe "is a great aunt, isn't she?"

Dum, Da-dum dum


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

Again, sorry

Hmm, again, I better not respond to this one. Maybe reread the hospital portion again to get a better understanding. If I say anything else it might blow what I have set up for the next chapter. Thanks OG!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Casidhe fans reread please.

Okay, after reading some of the comments I think it might be advantageous for some of you to go back and reread everything from the car accident forward. I'll even give you a hint. This is not a time travel/alternate universe/Dallas-Bobby Ewing-reset/magical story. There's a reason Casidhe is saying the things she is saying.

I didn't want to explain much in response, because doing so will ruin the next chapter. There are about 5-6 hints as to what is happening if you read carefully. Skimming or reading this section quickly would be unwise for proper comprehension.

I'll come back, when I have more time and answer each comment as well as I can, probably tomorrow morning, but don't expect a lot of answers until the next chapter. I'm really sorry for having to end the chapter there, but at least I didn't end it at the car crash like I was originally going to. All of the comments would have probably been hate filled then...LOL.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Evil, nasty, twisted cliffhanger ...BRAVO!

Okay,

we know the bit about Mark being her husband and their having babies and all is a drug induced hallucination, a continuation of the happy daydreams she was having off and on that day and particuarly just before the crash. Her worst injuries being on Cas's right says the car was hit on that side or shoved into something on the right side. If the second is true Mark could be very bad off.

Then there is this bit...
>>
"And do you have to do anything to make it go away?"
"Go to the bathroom."
Ah! It's one of 'those' physical male things. Since voiding his bladder made the Louisville Slugger go away I deduced his prostate was being stimulated with pressure from his bladder. But that didn't explain why I never got erections. Not that I ever wanted one. Blech. How do guys even put up with something going all hard at the slightest reason. That had to be uncomfortable.
>>

Most little boys have the occasional stiffy, not a sexual thing, just a phisologicial thing but still ... why never Cas? Odd that, very odd.

No a VERY nasty author would have us learn Cas really was a girl and that was missed during the emergency surgery to save the little boy they assumed -- IE after the bomb blast that killed Cas's parents -- her to be but the traffic accident cause massive internal injuries and SHE is now sterile. OR she is now okay and a real potentially fertile girl but Mark is crippled, emasculated or worse.

Or she is in a permanent or persistent coma and might never wake. Prob not this last one.

Was psycho bitch involved or not? An accident or a deliberate attack?

Serious heroine bashing, I'm so proud of you!

A- at least, A/A+ still possible depending on the next few chapters.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Good analysis!

Somebody has a fine-toothed comb. Very well deduced, John! I can see exactly how you arrived at all of your conclusions, and you make some very good points, but you still haven't caught all of the clues I left in the chapter.

I can say, without endangering the next chapter, that Casidhe is not in a coma.

Heroine bashing: LOL. Nobody is safe in this story! I'm going after Casey next. She's way to innocent. BWHAAAHAHAHA. sorry, just kidding.

I'm not spillin' how the accident happened at this time. Sorry.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Hooray...

A dream sequence that isn't... :)

Interesting twist, looking forward to more.

JC

The Legendary Lost Ninja

I get the impression that

I get the impression that two things have happened. a) Casidhe was found out during the medical treatments from the accident to actually be a real girl (intersexed) and b) she is "living" due to her head injury, what her life is going to be like after she and Mark are married. They both said they wanted 4 children and it sounds pretty much like that is what she believes right now has happened. Can't wait to read the next chapter to see how close I am on this. Janice Lynn

Totally Awesome

That sums up my assessment of this story to date and this chapter in particular. Please don't keep us waiting too long to find out the real fate of Mark and the children.

Your devoted fan,
Linda Jeffries

Too soon old, too late smart.

Linda Jeffries
Too soon old, too late smart.
Profile.jpg

Not Sure...

...that I see the problem. It appears as though Casidhe was so engrossed in the fantasy that her daydream created that she woke up, (as the doctor said) under medication, thinking it was all true. It ought to go away with time, probably without a trace if she's under sedation now. (Though I guess the last is doubtful, given her violent reactions.)

It does seem likely that Michael and Susan now know one more detail about Casidhe's anatomy than they did before, but it sounds as though it hasn't affected Susan at least. (I didn't really expect it to.) Assuming Mark's as badly injured as Casidhe, the parents probably don't know whether he knows about it, though they may make assumptions along those lines since they were in bed together Friday night. I still think that he'd figured it out previously.

I'm guessing some lasting physical damage to one or both of them is going to come out of this. I'm most worried about brain damage to Mark, changing his intelligence or personality. I think Casidhe could put up with a problem to Mark's body, even if he becomes a permanent paraplegic. But his mind's something else again. (I know his body was what attracted her in the first place. But it's obviously well beyond that now.)

Eric

Good general deductions and

Good general deductions and assumptions. I'm not touching any of them with a ten foot pole... but still.

I wish there was something that I 'could' comment on!

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Stunning

Absolutely stunning. I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter. No conjecture on my part...i am just waiting impatiently. Whichever way you take this story I am still hooked.
Great writing.

Casidhe

Lilith: All I can say is, I'm glad you restarted writing this story, it is great and the picture you found to represent "Casidhe" is just right on. Thanks! Richard

Richard

IF you KILLED Mark, I am SO done!

Please, you didn't right? Please tell me you didn't? I couldn't stand it ... it would be too much to bear. There has to be a limit to how much Cas can bear.

K

Mark's status

Okay, I'm taking a little break from answering comments, but I thought I'd respond on this one because... well, just because. More to come, later.

I can't answer the question of Mark's status at this moment, sweetie. Sorry. I can say that Casidhe will be having a really really rough time dealing with what happened, but that isn't something that you couldn't have figured out by paying attention to what has been going on.

I really wish I could say more.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Mark's mom, dad and Casey are fine ...

Mom esentially said so before realising Cas is partially halucinating. Also Casey was with her when she olk and went to ge mom.

Now Cas's friend Chloe... Not so sure on her. Mom's reaction to when Cas calls Chloe a great aunt could just be her humoring Cas while she is drugged up as the snippet with the doctor(s) suggested or it could mean Chloe was in the other vehicle or vehicles and is dead or injured. That Cas can feel and move some and is semi awake says she doen't have a major brain or spinal cord injury.

At a min she faces rehab and may require plastic surery to fix her face. Proably can walk as she was fighting them in bed, though her legs ,,, not sure.

Mark must be very bad off considering Mom's responces and that dad and Casey have not come to see her since casey left earlier. Plus Mark if even semimoble would insist on seeing her or, damn it, hospitals have phones, he could call her. He must be unconscious at best.

You were hinting that pyscho bitch would re-enter her life. Was it the accident or will she cause grief later as Cas is recovering and can't defend herself?

Clearly want to earn your hero/heroine bashing doctorate .. this must be your thesis.

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. All I can say about Mark is teenage, hell most infatuations can be intense but at her age they are rarely *the one* or at least the one you end up wit\th. Cas will suffer but if Mark is lost to her, she has at least gained a family and there are many other good guys at the school interested in her.

John in Wauwatosa

Double Wow!

As everyone has said - WOW. As you have said read carefully.

The staff refers to her as Ms. O'Conner, Sebastian doesn't know Susan (would if they had been married) - ergo Drugs and hallucination (love that morphine). Not married to Mark, these are names of children she will have. Susan loses it because Casidhe named one of her children after her. Mark is not dead - Susan said he is in the next room. Somebody ran a stop sign and hit them in the passenger's side. (injuries on her right side).

Just my version.

What a chapter. I think all the superlatives have been used. The emotion you bring forth and the set up with the "perfect day" before potential disaster strikes was a masterpiece.

I hope she gets her operation early and they all live happily ever after. This is a great story.

As always,

Dru

As always,

Dru

About the only thing I can

About the only thing I can say about this is the same thing I said about John's analysis. Good points all! However, Casidhe probably won't be able to have SRS early. Doctor's really don't like to have major operations that close together unless its absolutely necessary, and it's only 7 ish months away anyway.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Love the Story...

...BUT...as memory serves, I always got chewed out when I responded to comments while still in the middle of writing the story.

I guess what I'm saying is, less yappin', more writin' :)

Seriously, I can easily understand the Dickens comment. Even though you've done quite well handling the potentially melodramatic elements thoughtfully and artistically, you're walking a tightrope here that you could very easily fall off of if you're not careful. That said I really have enjoyed this story immensely.

Never let it be said that I don't enjoy the occasional delusion of grandeur

Never let it be said that I don't enjoy the occasional delusion of grandeur

It's not the 'taking a break

It's not the 'taking a break to respond to comments' that keeps me from writing. It's the intrusions of real life. So, more yappin' from me. :)

Regarding tightropes. Been there, and fell off. The problem comes from being unprepared with a general outline of what you want to happen. A lot of people just sit down an write, which might work for some, but it's a toss up as to whether or not what will be produced will be viable. I know exactly where I'm going and how I want to get there, not in minute detail, but well enough to not tick off loyal followers of the story.

Not being very familiar with Dickens (I find him too dry) I can't argue comparisons. But I don't want people to be under the assumption that I am going to kill of all the characters in some anti-hollywood ending protest.

Think of this like a daytime soap of sorts (without the melodrama). There's always something going on. Occasionally there will be some big hubbub, but the characters usually return in one form or another. I do promise to not have any amnesia victims, or long lost dead evil twins show up. There might be a catfight or two and the occasional steamy romance going on as evidenced already.

And it's a serial... that usually means ongoing story. As long as I have a new idea, the story will be ongoing. If people get bored, stop commenting, stop voting, etc. then I'll end it and move on.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

lilith, you may just have hit on a briliant idea

You said, I quote, about the future of the story.

>>
...I do promise to not have any amnesia victims, or long lost dead evil twins show up. There might be a catfight or two and the occasional steamy romance going on ...
>>

Does that mean you WILL have some LIVE evil twins, that get involved in a cat fight that evolves into a steamy romance ... tall, busty strawberry blonde evil twins with pouty lips, looong sexy legs and ,,,, oooooh!

Never mind.

As to our amazing deductions pieced together from possible clues in your story, I remember a Terry Gillam animation in Monty Python. A thumbtip is dug up and the *experts* reconstuct a wooly mamouth out of it.

John in Wauwatosa, wooly mamouth re-constructor -- snicker --

John in Wauwatosa

Beyond the norm

I think people are doing quite well given the amount of information provided. Some guesses are right there, minus a single point, which shifts everything else around. It's not so much that I'm trying to hide Casidhe's physical damage. I think that's fairly obvious (in general).

I'm not going to try to make up some funky situation so that she has to transition earlier than planned. It was just a car crash and the average results thereof. We just don't know the full extent of the problems that it caused, or the benefits that it brings,Beyopnd which is what the next chapter is about.

http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

How to put it succintly?

Gosh, everyone else is doing the analysis, but I bet nobody gets it right.

This chapter is so good, all I can say is,

Bless you! Damn you! You are an evil author-person!

We need more!!

Hugs,
Carla Ann

Grrr...

You know, one author I've always thought had a beautiful writing style was Charles Dickens; however, I mostly hate his work. Why? Because he always gives the hero a boost that makes you think things just MIGHT be okay... and then drops them into the biggest pile of shitake mushrooms yet.

Unfortunately for me, this is starting to feel like that, and I really don't want it to. I like these characters, I like your writing style, and I like how talented of an author you are. However, I also like happy endings, and can find it difficult to deal with tragedies in a story even if I know everything will turn out okay in the end -- an assurance that, given things you've already told us about not wanting to take the path most taken with all your stories, I'm still not sure I have.

Now I'm facing a bit of a dilemma. Do I keep reading as each chapter comes out in hope that the story wraps up with a happy ending? Or do I stop and wait until you finish, read the last few lines, and THEN jump back in? Or do I simply stop reading all together? In the end, I think I'm going to go for my first choice, with an option to stop and skip to the second or third if things turn out for the worst. This really is an amazing story, but... if things go too bad, it might be too emotionally taxing for me to handle.

I'm not expecting you to change the story because I can't deal with what you choose for it, and if it goes the directions I fear it will, it will still be a wonderful, beautiful story, but like many others I have started and had to stop, it might just turn out to be too much for me to be able to deal with.

I know, I know, the "disney ending" is pretty much the worst ending in literature -- it's unrealistic, usually fairly predictable, and completely overused. Still, it's my favorite kind, and though I know we're not going to have that type of ending for this story or, likely, any of your stories, can we at least have maybe a "happy ending with qualifiers" type of thing?

Melanie E.

No Pulp Fiction Bloodfest

Well, lets put it this way. I know how the story will end when there comes a time to end it. Some people will like it, some won't, usually because of who Casidhe ends up with, but I'm not going to kill everyone off in a Pulp Fiction bloodfest or anything.

Do you keep reading or wait until the end? That is entirely your choice, of course. I won't be offended either way. Some people just can't take the angst and want to skip past it to the more happier times. That's cool too. However, it might be quite a long wait.

Quote from a previous comment above:
"And it's a serial... that usually means ongoing story. As long as I have a new idea, the story will be ongoing. If people get bored, stop commenting, stop voting, etc. then I'll end it and move on."

I could stick the ending in the next chapter and it would make sense. It would be unfulfilling, but understandable. However, this chapter has garnered the most votes, comments, hits, etc. in the quickest time. In short, it was a very successful chapter. That tells me that for the most part, people like genuine emotion and heartfelt drama.

Do I cater to them or spread the wealth of different styles over the course of the story. Bah, people don't want to see Casidhe in constant angst driven, soul tearing pain. But seeing how she deals with it to become a better person and how it affects the people around her, well there's a different story.

The next couple of chapters will be a mix of the old Casidhe and one that is in pain and struggling to set things in her life back in order. Will she be happy again, yes. Will she go through something worse than having someone she loves... whoops, almost gave away that plot line. The answer will be 'probably not', but will there be more conflict in the future. Oh yeah.

Let me know.

Lili
http://lilithlangtree.tglibrary.com/

~Lili

Write the story that you most desperately want to read.

Eek!

Trust you to start a chapter so happily and romantically, then (quite literally) end it with a car crash.

I hope this is only a temporary setback and the hallucinations are caused by concussion or strong painkillers.
Hopefully also someone enlightens Sam about the Tanners PDQ...

Oh well, only one way to find out...read Part 15 (last chapter to be posted, or the final chapter?)

 
 
--Ben


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As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!