A New Style of Education

by Karen Page

Part 51

The end of Immigration Manors visit draws close. So what is Sam's secret?

---

Part 51

Wednesday 4th January 2006

Helen grabbed me as I entered the common room. "You don't seem too bad. You didn't fall asleep during it, did you?"

I pretended to be cross. "No, I didn't!" I then laughed, spoiling the effect. "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. What about your chat with Rachel?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Helen replied, mimicking my response, and not doing too bad a job with mirroring how I spoke. That raised a few heads of those in the common room. "The obvious objection was raised, and we are to see her tomorrow 'sometime after we've woken'."

"It sounds like she doesn't expect us to be up very early."

"Unless you two have a nap, I doubt you will make it as far as normal curfew," pointed out Emma.

"After the farm visit. It's too close to lunch now," said Helen. I couldn't help but smile at her preoccupation with mealtimes. At least she wasn't as bad as Lewis, but she wasn't far off. I wonder if Brian would be more vocal about food if he wasn't as shy. He seemed to eat with the same gusto as the other guys, but in some inexplicable way he seemed more refined.

"How do we get to the farm?" Paula asked. "Do we just jump over the wall near the lambing shed?"

Emma looked horrified and looked like she was going to respond, but Helen got there first.

"No. This came up this morning at the end of my chat with Rachel. If we walk out of the front gate, and turn right, we should find an entrance just along the road. Since we were only going next door, I also enquired if our standard PDA's would still work. They might, but they would rather we take our travel ones so we can be contacted in an emergency."

A familiar groan filtered through the room. Doing PDA changeovers for ten people wasn't too bad, but thirty seemed a waste of time, especially since we were only going next door. Indeed, after lunch we noticed three boxes waiting outside our common-room. The smallest contained the travel PDA's, while the other two large ones contained wellies.

"Oh, whoopee," said Brian sarcastically as he picked up the box with the PDAs. Phil and Aaron dragged in the other two.

"You get used to it," shrugged Melissa. "I remember the pain we had to go through each time we left the Manor in our first year. At that time no students had the authority to do the transfers, so the whole school had to collect in the computer lab so RJ could do the deed. I think RJ was as glad as everyone else when the school assigned someone in each year. Now it's just part of the ritual."

I'd now assisted with the PDA switches several times, and got into some sort of rhythm.

"That's one minute thirty-two seconds quicker than last time," said Anna, as I finished the last PDA.

"You've been timing me?" I uttered, rather surprised.

"It gives me something to do," she responded, non repentant.

I felt slightly peeved as I took the boots Helen passed to me. "I'll try to get quicker, but there's only so much I can do. It takes time for the profile to upload and then download the travel version. We are waiting for a software update which should make things a lot quicker."

"I'm not saying that," sighed Anna. "It is just a bit of fun for me. I know it takes time to do them and you do it really well."

"Sorry, I'm just a bit tired."

"Ah, are you one of those people that get grumpy when tired?" asked Mel.

I noticed Helen nodding her head. "Only a little," I admitted.

Apart from our shopping trip to Milton Keynes, this was the only time I'd gone off the property without staff being with us. I suppose the biggest reason is that the school was in a rather secluded area, and there wasn't really anywhere to go off the premises. The school was also worried about exposure. They'd been worried about Jill and Anna going to Milton Keynes before Christmas, just in case they were recognised. At least here we were only going next door; so no chance of us seeing anybody that knew us.

Once ready, it was a rather pleasant stroll in the cold but dry winter afternoon. The farm gate wasn't too far down the road, and as we approached we saw Mr Grant strolling towards his side of the gate.

"I got a phone call saying you were on your way." He looked us over and nodded in relief. "I see you are all wearing sensible footwear and haven't dressed up for the occasion."

I was glad we'd had someone like Emma who could properly advise us. As we approached the shed we had to walk through a tray of disinfectant, which made me so glad I hadn't been wearing normal shoes or even trainers.

"If I'd worn sneakers, my feet would have been soaking," uttered Ruth, echoing my thoughts.

The lambing shed was set out into small pens, with a several ewes in each. It seemed strange to call such a large building a shed, but that's what Emma and Mr Grant call it. As we walked in, I saw other, larger pens with a mixture of ewes and lambs. Emma, who'd been next to me as we walked into the shed, had disappeared. I stopped to look around, wondering where she was, just to find her catching up. Mr Grant was laughing.

Emma obviously heard him. "Sorry, force of habit."

"A good habit to have. Since you automatically disinfected your hands when you came in, I take it you live on a farm?"

"I used to, though our flock wasn't anywhere near this size."

"Should we disinfect?" asked Paula.

"If you stick to the path, and don't go touching the animals, then you should be okay. I would ask you all to refrain from disturbing the animals by stroking them; lambing can be quite hard and for some ewes, this is their first year."

I'd been expecting it to be cold in here, but it was rather nice. I presume they must have kept the place warm because of the newborns.

Emma was in her element. She stuck with us, but you could tell she was taking in the entire situation and was obviously seeing a lot more than the rest of us. As we wandered around, we saw some farm hands tagging newly born lambs, others mucking out pens, and even some assisting a birth that wasn't going as well as it might.

"Do you have to assist with all of the births?" asked Jessica.

"No, we do know when a ewe is expected to have her lamb, but mostly we just let nature take her course. We then clean things up, and make sure the lamb and mother bond and the little one gets milk from the mother. When they are both ready, we move them to another building while they get stronger, before moving them outside."

"Sounds simple," said Ruth.

"If everything goes to plan it is, but it is very tiring," said Emma, knowingly. "Lambs aren't just born between nine and five. Farmers have to work in shifts, which after a few days becomes exhausting. Nature also doesn't go as hoped; lambs don't always survive, nor do all the ewes."

"We lost a ewe last night and another a few hours ago," said Mr Grant. "Another ewe has accepted the first lamb as her own. Unfortunately the last ewe died after giving birth to two lambs and we're having to hand rear them." He paused and looked at Emma with a slight smile. "They should have recovered enough for their first feed. Emma, did you ever have to do this?"

"Yes, it was always the last resort, but I had to do it a few times." The wistful look on her face said it all. Emma really missed her time at the farm.

"We have spare overalls in the room at the back." Mr Grant pointed to a door at the far side. "Would you like to assist?"

"Really?" she squealed.

"Really," he laughed.

It didn't take her long to change, and she came back with a very happy grin. We moved to the pen where the two orphaned lambs were. An oldish man approached carrying what looked like two large syringes with plastic tubes on the ends. He was closely followed by a younger farmer.

"These two lambs haven't had any colostrum," explained Emma to us. "Since their mother died, this is the easiest way to make sure they have it. Also, if they are bottle fed, it will be harder to try again to use another ewe as a surrogate."

The oldish farmer's eyebrows went up in surprise. "She seems to know a lot for someone on a visit." He handed the syringes to Mr Grant.

"Thanks Graham," said Mr Grant, he then turned to Emma. "I'd have gone a lot more technical if I'd tried to explain it. Now hop into the pen and let's see if you can walk-the-walk."

"I don't want to intrude," mumbled Emma.

"Nah, you can do mine," said Graham, eager to see if this young girl could actually do it.

Emma entered the pen, took the proffered milk followed by the newborn lamb, and next thing I know she did some type of measurement with the tube and soon was happily feeding the lamb.

Graham and Mr Grant shared a smile, as they saw Emma happily sitting on a bale of hay, feeding the lamb. It was obvious to them that this girl did know her stuff.

"There we go," said Emma, removing the feeding tube and placing the lamb onto the floor. The lamb, still finding its legs, wobbled away.

The young farmer was obviously enamoured by Emma and hadn't even started on his lamb, as he'd just been watching her. As soon as he noticed that we were all watching him, he blushed and got on with doing his.

"Nice job," praised Mr Grant. Emma just continued to beam. It was obvious to everyone around that this girl really enjoyed life on the farm.

"Do you have other animals?" asked Philip.

"We have a nice heard of Friesian cows, but they are more towards the farmhouse at the other end of our fields."

When it was time to leave, it was like the spark left Emma. She was a happy girl while at school and was always enthusiastic. However, when with the animals, it was like there was something additional. She was in her element, knew what was happening and was happy to share that with us.

I wasn't the only one to notice, and Paula started asking Emma if she'd dealt with cows at her parent's farm. A big smile re-appeared, "Oh yeah, the cows were great. In some ways they are even better than the lambs and sheep. They make the worst sounds when separated from their calves, this rather woeful moo."

As we started up the drive to the school, a car passed. I noticed it was Matilda and June. I wonder where those two have been for the day. I'm sure I wasn't the only one to notice who was in the car, but nobody mentioned it.

I thought I would have been more tired, after a disturbed night, but at the moment I felt great. Perhaps the smell of farm animals, or the fresh air afterwards was what kept me going. When we got back to the school, I did the ritual of logging in the travel PDA's. Helen and I went to her bedroom where we snuggled up for an afternoon nap. There is nothing better than being with the one you love.

It seemed strange waking up seeing it light outside; this was the winter after all. It took a bit longer to come round, but when I was up, I had to admit that I did feel a lot better than when I went to bed. It was too early to get ready for the party, so we put on our clothes from earlier. When we got down to the common room, it seems we weren't the only ones that had taken a nap. It sounded like we all wanted to enjoy tonight.

It was weird that we wouldn't be eating with the rest of the school, but tonight was our party, so we spent time discussing the trip to the farm and what we would wear tonight. Well some of us discussed what we would wear and others made sure they stayed well away from that conversation.

Just before we started getting the room ready, Mr Hobson came by. "How did you enjoy your trip?"

There were a lot of positive comments, and Emma got this almost dreamy look at the reminder.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had a phone call from Mr Grant who had nothing but praise about you all. So, as our first visit with our neighbour, I think it all went well. He also invited you all round again. I explained to him that ten of you lived here, including you Emma. He instantly invited you all to a meal in a few weeks time, after lambing had finished. Emma and Paula, I would like to see you two after your chat and before your party starts. Don't worry, you aren't in trouble and it shouldn't take too long. If you all come to a decision about going for the meal before Emma and Paula see me, they can let me know. "

Mr Hobson left us, and Helen took charge in deciding. "Okay, let's do this quickly. Do any of you have anything against us going for this meal? Jayne?"

"No."

"Emma?"

"No."

"Paula?"

"No."

"Jill?"

"No."

"Anna?"

"No."

"Erika?"

"No."

"Martha?"

"No."

"Brian?"

"No."

"Lewis?"

"Erm, well..."

A roomful of eyes trained on him.

"Just kidding. Do you think I would refuse going somewhere where there's food? "

"I suppose not." I laughed as cushions sailed across the room at him.

Both Emma and Paula looked very nervous. I moved across and asked them quietly, "Is this the first time you've been to Mr Hobson's office?"

"Yeah."

"Don't worry, I've been there a few times, and he's very nice. He said you weren't in trouble, so don't panic."

"Is that in nice friendly letters?" Paula joked nervously. I wonder if it was Paula who'd borrowed the copy of Hitchhikers Guide from the library. It wasn't there when I looked the other day.

"Do you want me to go with you?" I offered.

It looked as if Emma seriously considered it, but Paula answered, "We'll be okay. If we aren't back before the party starts, then send a search party."

"It won't start for an hour. We have the room to prepare, get changed, and get our night clothes."

With so many of us, the room didn't take that long to sort. The settees were all dragged to the sides, leaving room for whatever events were taking place. Jessica ran upstairs to the library to get the reserved twister mats.

Thursday 5th January 2006

I couldn't believe it. Why couldn't I have stayed asleep like I did the other day? Since this was a special morning, due to last night's party, we didn't need to get up so early and be at breakfast. It was expected that we wouldn't go to sleep until very late, and we hadn't. It was also expected that we would sleep in, which my body didn't seem to want.

"Are you awake?" Helen murmur from next to me.

"Yeah, and I can't get back to sleep," I responded, turning over to see her face. She always looked so beautiful. "Do you reckon anybody else is awake?" I wanted to snuggle up with her, but didn't want to do so in front of the others.

"I can't hear Anna snoring," Helen replied, less quietly. My heart sank knowing there was no way we would cuddle or kiss in front of others.

"I don't snore!" Anna responded from not too far away, which started a lot of laughter. If anybody was asleep, they weren't anymore.

"It looks like we might make breakfast," Lewis said, sitting up.

"Before you all go and change, I've got something to say," announced Sam. The room quickly fell silent. It wasn't everyday that people made an announcement and when someone did, we all paid attention. "I don't want to leave this school without everyone knowing the truth."

I thought Sam might say more, but there was only silence.

"And?" prompted Mel.

"I'm going to go to breakfast as me. If I stay that way, I'm not sure. I suppose it depends what's happening today."

"Anything else?" Mel asked. Sam was once again silent. I don't think this was an easy announcement for Sam.

"I don't want anybody else warned. I want to see everyone's true reaction."

There were lots of nods, as everyone agreed to Sam's request. I was pretty confident that the upper years would be okay, as they had learnt to expect the unexpected; though even then, this was pretty out there. Apart from Matilda, years A, B and C from The Manor were totally unknown to me. I had no idea how they would react.

"How about we all meet in good time and go to breakfast all together," suggested Jessica. It was something we mostly did anyway, but it seemed to make Sam happier.

I was glad that Helen had suggested that I bring a change of clothes for this morning. I didn't want to walk to my room in my nightie, nor in last night's party clothes. When we got back to our room, the door slammed shut and we fell into each other's arms.

Our closeness was interrupted by Mel ringing to discuss Sam. She and Jamie had similar worries about how the lower years would be. However, she knew that they might sometimes be a rowdy bunch, they would soon settle. It was just that she was afraid that initial bit would scare Sam. Mel also thought we should warn Ellen, so the support staff were at the younger years' tables in good time. That way if Sam decided to go in early, there would be people there who could explain.

With things sorted, there wasn't time for a run, so we both rushed to shower and get ready. We didn't want to be one of the last into the common room, as had been the case recently.

When we got there, it appeared that everyone else had wanted to be in good time, as we were yet again one of the last. There were only Jill and Anna who arrived shortly after us. Sam looked slightly nervous, and seemed to be clinging to Jessica. As the conversation turned to last night's party, Sam started to join in. Nobody seemed to understand how Ruth was so flexible and managed to win the twister competition. Ruth just smiled happily and said it was her parent's fault.

"Hey, isn't it breakfast time?" asked Lewis, interrupting the ongoing chat about last night.

"So it is," laughed Helen, as she quickly jumped up.

Sam looked a bit pensive, but when Jessica joined hands, seemed to smile a bit. We walked towards the dining room as a group and were spotted by a few individuals. Thank goodness they were from the top two years, and they just said "Hi" as they passed.

We paused at the dining room door. "Are you okay?" asked Jessica.

"Let's just do it," said Sam, taking a deep breath. Sam pulled the door open, went through with Jessica, and we all followed behind.

Sam didn't go unnoticed as we all made our way to our tables. I noticed a few smiles and a few people pointing Sam out to others, but there was no laughter, and it looked like people were just interested.

All went well until we went near year-A. "Why are you wearing that costume?" one asked surprised.

"Nah, it looks like Sam is being punished, like they did the other month with year-C," sniggered Megan and the rest of those from year-A started laughing.

"That's enough," said Ellen sternly. "Sam isn't being punished, like those from year-C were when they were acting immaturely." Year-A had learned enough over their six months at The Manor to understand they'd made a grave mistake. The whole table went deathly silent.

"Sam," piped up Rachael. Sam came to a halt. She jumped up from her chair, leaving her stick and hobbled across to Sam and gave a big hug. "I'm sorry if we jumped to the wrong conclusion. You do look good."

"Thanks," blushed Sam, slightly embarrassed as everyone in the room was looking their way.

"Let's go sit," suggested Mel, and we all managed to reach our table without incident.

Mr Hobson stood up and the room fell silent. "Okay, it looks like everyone is seated. All I can say is that I'm proud of you all for the way you reacted to Sam this morning. You have shown that this school can tolerate people who have different needs. Well done all of you. Today is the last full day that we have Immigration Manor with us, so please make the most of things." Mr Hobson paused for a moment. "We seem to all be ready slightly earlier than the kitchen staff, so please talk among yourselves while we wait for the bell."

The room buzzed with chatter and while we waited, the post was distributed. Most people got messages from home via email, so it was rare. The biggest things were postcards from parents when they'd been somewhere. Today the only person from year-one to get anything was Emma.

"It's from my sister," she announced after glancing at the envelope. She opened it and started to read the letter. As she finished she gave a small laugh. "Seems my sister has found someone at last. I'll have to tell you all later how they met; you'll never believe it."

That sparked all our interests and we all complained about her teasing.

It was our last day without lessons, our last day with our new friends from America, and we didn't know what to do with ourselves. After breakfast, we made our way back to the common room to talk about what we might do later. Brian had a meeting with Becky later, and Rachel had the pleasure of Helen and my company to continue discussing our affirmation request.

* * *

Rachel ushered us into her room and indicated the settees. "Did you both enjoy last night?"

"Yeah," we replied in unison.

"How on Earth did you manage to get pizzas delivered?" I asked.

"You did say that it was something you all missed. Just don't tell the kitchen staff or they'll get at me for not asking them to make them. Oh, that reminds me, do any of you know anything about some tubs of missing ice-cream?"

"The kitchen is missing some?" Helen asked innocently.

"Oh, little bits are always disappearing, especially the chocolate. However, three large tubs seemed to have gone missing, which was a bit unexpected."

Helen and I sat there, not saying anything. The ice-cream had really gone well with the pizza.

Rachel eventually continued. "If you do hear who it was, please get them to return the tubs so they can make more. Also, it seems they had been trying out some slightly different recipes, so they would appreciate some feedback."

"We, I mean, they aren't in trouble?" queried Helen.

"They will be if they don't return the tubs. Why do you think that certain types of snacks and drinks are in that open area of the kitchen? Anyway, I don't think such a large quantity will go missing again in the future, will it? Now, I've sorted out that small task, let's talk about affirmation. Before you get all upset and think I'm trying to stop it; I'm not. I just want to make sure you both fully understand what you are asking for. Are you willing to listen and discuss it?"

I looked at Helen. So far Rachel had been straight with us, but it wasn't like her to pre-empt us getting antsy.

"If we listen, but at the end still want to go through with it, could we?" Helen asked, slightly worried.

"If I feel you have listened, and understood, then yes. The only time I would recommend you didn't was if I thought it could cause serious issues. Remember, your welfare is my top priority."

Reluctantly, we both nodded our agreement. We had expected a bit of a chat, but it sounded like Rachel was building up to something a lot bigger.

"In hindsight, I'm not surprised by your request. From almost as soon as you joined the school, you have shown that your relationship was beyond friendship. It was really your timing that threw me."

Helen and I exchanged a quick glance. Where was Rachel taking this? Was she agreeing with us? I began to feel nervous as this wasn't what I expected.

"You aren't the first pair to want to make a public commitment, and in talking with the other staff it seems there are three ceremonies that have taken place. A fourth option became available last month."

Four? I suppose some might want to get married, so that and affirmation would be two. I couldn't think what the third or fourth would be.

"Four?" blurted out Helen, echoing my confusion. "We've seen two affirmations, and I presume some in older years have got married. What's the other two?

"The school also has a service of commitment, which some call 'togetherness'. It isn't any more or less important than affirmation or wedding. The aim of each ceremony is different. Let's start with wedding. This is a legal contract between two people who are legally of the opposite gender, according to their birth certificates. The service can be a religious or civil ceremony, depending on the couple's faith. A wedding can happen from the age of sixteen with consent of your legal guardians, or from the age of eighteen without."

"Are our parents still our legal guardians?" I enquired, wondering if the school had taken over that as well.

"Of course, though we do have special permission from them to give you medical treatment if needed. You would need your parent's permission for a wedding before you were eighteen."

Surely if we had to ask a parent's permission, they would want to come. "Has a wedding ever occurred here that required parental permission?" I asked.

"No," said Rachel simply. "Since the middle of last month there has been a new option; civil partnerships. These have the same legal binding as a marriage, but can only occur between couples of the same gender. Since this is so new, one hasn't occurred yet at this school. Finally, the last two options, affirmation and togetherness, are school ceremonies which don't have any legal commitments and can occur between those of any gender.

"Togetherness is the simplest public commitment to each other. It is a beautiful ceremony where those involved commit to be there for each other, at school or beyond. What they commit to differs between each ceremony and is what they are comfortable with. They are more likely to be companions, rather than in what might be a step off from being a sexual relationship.

"Affirmation is similar to togetherness, apart from the level of public commitment, which is much higher. Not only are they saying they will be there for each other, but want to be part of each other's lives. This is more likely to be out of a desire for lifelong love, rather than companionship. Remember, until last month, same-sex couples had no option for a legal union and affirmation was their only way to announce to everyone that status.

"Are you saying that most same gender couples go through togetherness or affirmation and that couples of the opposite gender get married?" Helen asked.

"Not at all, although some that go through affirmation, do later get married. In fact, there have been a few couples that went from togetherness, via affirmation, and then got married."

"Are you asking us to settle for togetherness?" I asked, feeling a bit put out. The way Rachel had phrased that last bit seemed to be pushing us that way.

Rachel put up her hands in surrender. "Not at all. I was just trying to point out what others had done in the past." She went to her desk and came back with two binders and two booklets. "The two booklets are the official services for wedding and civil union. The two binders contain the service for togetherness and affirmation. They have copies of the structure of the service and what previous students have opted to say. Why don't you start with togetherness?"

Rachel offered them to us and we took the togetherness binder. What surprised me was that these were not thought up by the school staff, but by students themselves. Helen queried it, not believing what she was reading.

"There were some very surprised members of staff when the idea was broached, but they articulated their reasoning very well. The services have changed slightly as the school has matured and pupils have had different ideas."

We continued to read the togetherness material and eventually moved on to affirmation. What really surprised me was the variety of commitments and words used. The tenderness of what some had said brought tears to my eyes. These weren't idle thoughts or actions.

"Okay, now you have the basic understanding of the ceremonies, can I ask you some questions to help me understand how you two feel? Again, I'm just trying to make sure you have as much knowledge as you can. Actually, I think I had too many cups of tea at breakfast, so let's have a have a few minutes break."

We nodded.

As Rachel was opening her door, she asked, "I don't know how much sleep you got last night, but please don't fall asleep on me!"

Would she ever let us forget that? We fall asleep once on her, and we are reminded about it forever.

"So?" I asked Helen, as Rachel closed the door behind her.

Helen let out a breath. "It's certainly a lot more varied than we thought."

"What we'd discussed still seems to be more geared towards affirmation. Our relationship is more than friendship or companionship."

"We have to work out what we want to say though. Some people seemed to go a lot further than I'd thought about."

"I don't think I'm ready to say some of the things some said."

Rachel came back and settled in her seat. "Sorry about that. Are you ready to continue?"

We nodded, wondering what Rachel had next for us.

"Relax, I'm not going to shout at you or anything like that," said Rachel, when she saw how nervous we were. "Why don't we start with some simple stuff? When you joined the school you mentioned that you were close about two years ago, but Jayne stopped because others were causing difficulties. Did either of you go out with anybody before or after that?"

Both of us shook our heads. Was this a bad thing?

"Don't worry. Like the school entrance tests, there aren't any right or wrong answers. If you are both truthful then there will be no misconceptions."

"Since coming to the school, have there been any issues in your relationship?"

"Such as?"

"Arguments, sleeping in a different room, things like that."

"Not really."

"We have had minor disagreements, but we've talked about things and got them sorted," I added. "The only times we've slept apart is the two nights punishment and that one night in Russia."

"If you don't mind, we'll come back to Russia in a minute. I want to talk with you both a bit more about your relationship. Pairing of students does lead to a certain level of closeness between them. We don't pair them up as part of a matchmaking process, but because they are able to help each other and be comforting to each other through stressful times. Jayne, you are close to Jill, but would you have been there for her like you were for Helen?"

I opened my mouth for a quick response, but for some reason stopped and thought more about it. I'm sure Rachel didn't pick that name by accident. "I don't know. We're good friends, but she doesn't set my heart racing. A close person doesn't have to be a lover. We have helped each other at times, but it isn't the same."

Rachel gave a small smile. "You do pay attention to others, don't you?"

"Huh?"

Rachel frowned. "Huh? You can do better than that."

"Sorry, I was just surprised by your statement. What do you mean?"

"I was thinking of your joint sessions with Stacy. She doesn't rush into answers, even when baited, and you seem to have picked that up. Now Helen, remember when Jill had that breakdown soon after you started here. You sat on the settee and held Jill through her bad times, until Anna arrived. Why?"

"Because she needed it," responded Helen, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then when she realised that Rachel wanted more, she continued, "Jill was very upset over her mum's death and no, I didn't and don't feel like having a relationship with Jill."

"So, both of you have helped others, but you don't appear to have taken it further. Then why do you want to go through affirmation now? Why not wait until you are older and get married?"

"Because we love each other," said Helen.

"You can be in love without going through affirmation," responded Rachel.

I spotted Helen start to get a bit upset and turned to her, "Don't rise to it." We had our hands joined. My left hand holding her left, and my right arm was around her waist and holding her right hand.

After a moment's thought, I tried to respond. "You could say that about marriage, but thousands marry each year. It is showing a commitment to each other and making a formal statement of that commitment. We could wait until we could get married, but that is a commitment to just us. Affirmation seems to be more about a commitment at a much deeper level. A marriage would show a commitment between David and Helen. However, there is more to us than just that."

"So if you aren't just David, then what are you?"

"Well, at the moment I don't often get called David, but that's beside the point. We are showing a commitment to each other, no matter how we present, but also a commitment to the school by going through its ritual. Legally we are male and female, but not all couples are. By having a ceremony that works for everyone, it seems more-." I paused unable to think of the word. Rachel and Helen could see I was thinking, so didn't interrupt. "More just, more equal I guess, more in keeping with the school aims." I found it hard to find the right words, and hoped that Rachel understood.

Rachel didn't respond for a moment and I wondered if she was thinking about what I'd said, or she was seeing if I was going to say any more. Eventually she continued, "We seem to have got a bit off track. We were talking about relationships. So far we have found that you have only been in a relationship together and that you know that friendship doesn't have to turn to love. One final question in this area. Have either of you looked at someone else and found them attractive and wondered if there could be more?"

She can't know. I mean, nothing happened! I decided that breathing again wouldn't be a bad idea. I glanced across at Helen who didn't look too happy either.

"Yes," I uttered quietly. This was so embarrassing. Would this stop our affirmation?

"Me too," reluctantly added Helen.

"Since you don't seem upset with each other, am I to presume you'd already discussed this?" We both nodded. "Would you two just relax? I'm not here to judge. Now, so I don't jump to any conclusions, would you both tell me who."

"Andy," uttered Helen.

"Stacy." I felt mortified.

"Did this start that night in Moscow?" We again nodded. Rachel didn't seem angry or upset; she just gave a small nod and continued. "People involved in stressful or catastrophic situations sometimes experience similar bonding. What is important is to recognise it as a reaction. What happened in Russia was awful for you all, and you needed to know you weren't alone. As you've shown, by talking about it, you are still together. If you do go on to take the type of career in which you both have shown an interest, then there will be times when you will be apart. There might even be times where you can't communicate for long periods of times. This will put strains on a relationship which some can't survive."

"Are you trying to scare us?" asked Helen.

"No. I'm just exploring some of the challenges people in that line of work have. These challenges might not develop into something worse if they are expected or anticipated. Let me balance that with something a bit nicer. So far, none of the students who've married have even split up, let alone divorced. Compare that to the divorce rate in England and Wales of about fourteen percent.

"One final thing I'd like you to think about; if you do decide to continue being Beta's you both might be very busy over the next few months learning things for when Stacy and Andy leave. This will mean that you, Helen, will be alone a lot with Andy, and you, Jayne, with Stacy. In light of recent events, I'm not sure if this is wise, but sometimes that's the way the cookie crumbles. You need to be aware this could put a strain on your relationship."

"Take a deep breath," I hissed at Helen, who looked like she was going to respond furiously. I wasn't happy myself, and wanted to shout out that we would be fine and for her not to interfere. Telling Helen not to respond stopped me doing so myself, and I regained control. Remember how Stacy would do it.

"What?" she snapped.

"Don't let Rachel bait you," I said in a normal tone. "She is NOT going anywhere, so there is no need to rush a response. Don't let your anger and frustration with her do the talking."

"Okay, you respond then," she huffed.

I took a deep breath and tried to think.

"Rachel, isn't it better to go through any potential strains with a firm base? As we have already mentioned, we have discussed what happened in Russia with each other and our 'crushes'. We are also both aware that we are far too young and we wouldn't want to do anything to hurt our relationship, or theirs." I paused, trying to work out how to continue. "You taught us, when we both went through male-lessons, that we needed to tell each other what was happening and how we felt. We believe that going through something like affirmation will further strengthens our relationship. For us, it draws a line in the sand and makes a public statement that we are us."

"I like that 'we are us' line," said Helen, twisting to give me a kiss. "You were right though, I was going to overreact."

"So, have you told Andy and Stacy about your 'crushes'?"

"No," said Helen after a pause. "Since nothing is ever going to happen, how is it relevant? I mean, wouldn't it just make things harder if we did have to spend more time with them?"

"There isn't a right or wrong answer. You and Jayne are open with each other. You'll likely be in a stressful learning situation with Andy and Stacy, and it might be best to keep things as truthful as possible. You wouldn't want a surprise like your crushes to come out in the middle of something like what happened in Russia."

There was silence and I wondered if Rachel had finished. "Can we have a toilet break?"

"Sure. Now seems a good a time as any."

When we got to the toilets, all the other stalls were empty, so we were able to have a private chat as we took care of business. "Togetherness, affirmation or wait a few years for a legal wedding?" Helen asked.

"Affirmation," I responded without hesitation. "Togetherness might be okay for some, but it doesn't seem to match our relationship. However, I don't want to go overboard with the commitments, some might sound good, but set too much in stone. I would hate for our relationship to wilt-"

"Because we didn't leave it room to grow?" finished Helen.

"Yeah, that's about it. Shall we go and see where Rachel takes us next."

"What do we do about our silly crushes?" Helen asked, as we washed our hands.

"I don't think they're silly, they just happened. Let's see if we do end up spending more time with them, and if so, then I'll have a chat with Stacy and mention you and Andy"

"Oh, thank you." She sounded relieved at not having to tell Andy herself.

When we got back, Rachel was patiently waiting for us. "Now we've had a bit of a chat and discussed what the school has to offer, would you like to still go through a ceremony, and if so, which one?"

"Affirmation," we responded together.

Rachel gave a little smile. "Have you thought about where you want your affirmation to be held? It must be in the school grounds, but not in the chapel."

A big grin spread across my face and Helen seemed to glow. Was Rachel agreeing that we could?

"Do you mean we can?" I asked, hoping I wasn't jumping the gun.

"I'm only here to offer advice, not to stop you. Affirmation is a student thing, created by students. Only Stacy, as head student, could stop you. There were a lot of worries because of your age, which is why we have had a much longer chat than normal. So, getting back to my question, do you know where you want it to take place?"

"In the school grounds, but not the chapel," mussed Helen, repeating the basic rules to herself. "Does that mean we could hold it while everyone skinny dipped in the pool?" I think her excitement had got to the better of her.

"We haven't had one like that yet, and it might be very hard on those transitioning," responded Rachel, seriously.

"I was only kidding. I don't think I'm overly keen with showing my body to everyone. We did think about having it in the Parlour Room. It is very ornate in there and seems to be underused."

"There hasn't been an affirmation held in there for a few years, so it will be a nice change," said Rachel. "Who is the affirmation going to be between? Jayne and Helen? David and Helen? David and Christopher? Or perhaps Jayne and Christopher?"

"All," I replied, glad we'd discussed this and were prepared for Rachel's questions. "However, we did want to be dressed as Helen and David. We're aware that Helen won't be able to cope at the moment, but we didn't think it would happen so quickly."

"It can happen as quickly as a week, or take as long as you want. I'm glad you've recognised that Helen isn't ready for David to be around for the length of time affirmation takes. At the moment, even going through the Search of Finding would have been too much for either of you."

"Even me?" I asked, surprised. "I thought I was making good progress."

"You're both making excellent progress. Physical injuries can heal quite quickly, but the mental ones can sometimes take longer. People often rush things, thinking that all is well, and then have a sudden breakdown later. So far both of you have been very sensible and are taking things slowly. I hope you continue to do so. You've not been back a week yet. It might turn out that you are both very resilient and soon get over whatever issues you may have, or it might need more time."

"So, have you asked anybody to assist you for your special day?"

"We had some ideas," said Helen who then hesitated. "We've not asked them because we weren't sure if it was possible."

"Well as I said, affirmation is-." Rachel tailed off as Helen was shaking her head.

"No, we didn't know if it was possible to have the people we wanted."

"Who?"

"Jessica and Sam."

A look of relief passed over Rachel's face. I've no idea who she was worried about us wanting. I mean, I know it would be nice to have our parents there, but we both knew that wasn't possible and there was no way we would have asked.

The look of relief was replaced by a look of understanding. "You're wondering if you could still have Jessica and Sam because they will be at Immigration Manor?"

"Yes."

"I bet nobody thought of this as a consequence of introducing the schools to each other. Can I ask which roles you planned for them?"

"You can ask," I responded, and got my hand playfully tapped by Helen. "Okay, we wanted Jessica to be Helen's chief bridesmaid and Sam to be either a flower girl or a pageboy, depended on what duty Sam wanted."

"That's nice of you, but have you thought about whether Sam is ready to present like that in front of the whole school. I know how Sam came to breakfast this morning, but asking to be part of an affirmation ceremony is going to be so much more. After all, this morning was the first time that Sam has been Sam in front of so many."

"I hadn't thought of that," I confessed.

"Nor me," Helen admitted. We had a quick whisper and came up with a solution. "If it is okay for Sam and Jessica to attend, then we would be happy for Sam to take any role Sam wants."

"Let me speak with Mr Hobson and Mr Moore before you ask them. Is that the only two from outside this school?"

"Yes, though we've not asked anybody else yet either."

"Would you like Mr Hobson to make the announcement today, while Immigration Manor is still here, or would you like it to wait?"

"If Sam and Jessica can take part, then it would be nice if it could be today. Otherwise, let it wait until next week."

Rachel nodded. "Let me make a call." She pulled out her PDA and arranged to see the two headmasters. "While I see them, why don't you make a few calls to the others you want? That way when I get back, you will have everything bar the date sorted."

With Rachel gone, Helen and I had our PDA's out. I was to sort out the Best Man and Helen the other bridesmaids. The ushers could wait. Helen got on with the job, but every time I picked up the PDA to ring, I couldn't bring myself to dial. I really did want them to stand there with me, but would it be fair on them?

"Go and do it face to face," said Helen.

"Hi, it's Jayne. Do you have a minute for a private chat?" I asked nervously, after eventually dialling the number.

"It's too cold to meet outside, why don't you come to my room. Is this to do with your affirmation?"

"Yeah. Actually Rachel has gone to discuss something for a few minutes. Why don't you come here?"

"I'll see you in a minute then."

"So?" asked Helen as I removed the PDA from my ear.

"She's coming here." I paused trying again to decide if I was making a big mistake. "Do you think I'm wrong asking her?"

"If she says no, then don't pressure her." I nodded, and went back to my internal thoughts.

"Do you want me to ask?" asked Helen, as I heard the familiar knock.

It was so tempting, but for some reason as I went to answer the door, I said "No, this is something I should do."

My knock recognition hadn't failed me. Stacy came in and sat between us. "So, what can I tell you about the affirmation that Rachel hasn't already told you?"

"Two things. One, Rachel said that you were the only one that could veto us going through with this. Do you plan to?"

"Only if there is an objection raised by Rachel on medical grounds. I'm not going to let you go through with it if it would harm you."

"We've already discussed that with Rachel, but I'm sure you will still be here before she gets back so you can ask her then."

"And the second?" asked Stacy.

I took a deep breath, swallowed and opened my mouth, but the request didn't come out.

"I'm not going to bite," reassured Stacy.

"Would you be my Best Man," I blurted out, looking at my knees. I couldn't bring myself to look at her or Helen.

"As Marcus?" responded Stacy, her voice steady and even like normal.

"If you don't mind. I mean, if you can't then-." I was interrupted by Stacy gently taking my jaw and pointing my face towards hers.

"I'd be honoured to." She leaned forward and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. She then let go of me and gave Helen a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you too, Helen. Until Ingrid and Fran's affirmation, I'd never been a bridesmaid. I've never been a Best Man before, and now you have asked. Thank you both."

"I was so worried you might be upset," I said, a huge weight off my shoulders. "If it is too much though, I would be happy for you to be my best women."

"That has happened a few times here, and it is perfectly acceptable. However, I really would like to do this as Marcus. It isn't many who can say they've been a bridesmaid and a Best Man in under a year. So, who else have you asked?"

"Well, we want to ask Jessica and Sam, but by the time we hold the ceremony they will be in America. Rachel is discussing it now with the two heads."

Rachel, with impeccable timing, came through the door and came to a halt when she saw Stacy in between us. "I'm sure there were only two of you when I left."

"They've invited me to be part of their affirmation," announced Stacy.

"So, this will be your second time?" asked Rachel, taking her seat.

"Not quite. I'm going to be David's Best Man."

Rachel's eyebrows shot up with that one. "Mr Hobson and Mr Moore were surprised by your request to include Jessica and Sam. I think we were all glad you didn't ask while they were eating. If Sam and Jessica accept, then the schools will arrange for them to come back for this. I think they're just glad you didn't invite more from that school or the S.P.A. administrators would have been having kittens. Why don't you see if they can join us here and you can ask them?"

Not wanting to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I dialled Jessica's number and asked if she and Sam could join us in Rachel's office. I didn't explain why, which on second thoughts was a bit inconsiderate. When they arrived they were both looking very nervous.

"This is getting a tight squeeze," said Rachel, as the two arrivals sat on the second settee. "Hopefully this shouldn't take too long."

"Are we in trouble?" asked Sam.

"No," Helen responded quickly. "Jessica, we wondered if you would like to be chief bridesmaid and Sam, either a flower girl or pageboy at our affirmation ceremony?"

"But we'll be in America," pouted Jessica.

"If you accept," explained Rachel, "Mr Moore will make sure you are here for the events. Once affirmation has happened you will be able to go back to Immigration Manor."

"Oh please," nearly begged Jessica.

"Sam?" I prompted.

"I'd love to be a pageboy," smiled Sam, genuinely happy. "Not only are you so accepting of me, you also give me a choice when a gender is needed.

"Jessica, you have a bigger job than you think," warned Helen. "As chief bridesmaid you have to keep all the other bridesmaids in check."

"I know." Something must have triggered in Jessica's mind as she quickly asked, "Who are the others?"

"Wendy and Yvonne."

"You're kidding," said Sam.

"I'll do it," affirmed Jessica, a gleam in her eye. "Wendy has never been a bridesmaid, and it will be nice for both of us. Yvonne will help keep Wendy in check if needed, but after seeing her parents last month she's been a lot better with me."

"Excellent, so that's all sorted," said Rachel. "I'd like you all to keep quiet about this until after the announcement, which should be at lunch. Does anybody have any questions?"

None of us did. However, Stacy wanted a quick word with Jessica, who caught up with us just before we got back to our common-room. Ahead we saw Brian was walking slowly back, accompanied by Lewis. Brian was looking a bit shaken and Lewis was supporting him. Sam rushed and opened the door to let them in without them letting go of each other.

"Brian was given his surgery date," explained Lewis, as the others gasped in surprise at the sight of their upset friend. His eyes were all red and it looked like he'd been ill at least once. Brian was quickly pulled into the bosom of his school friends.

"The surgeon was there and explained in detail what was going to be done. It was just a bit much," almost apologised Brian, regaining some of his composure. "They suggested if I was okay, then they would do it here on Monday morning."

"Why here and not a big hospital?" asked Anna.

"The school has a very good operating theatre here," I responded, remembering being there when Stacy had her operation. "Also, I'm sure the surgeon who will be doing it will be the best."

For the first time since Brian got back to our common-room, the edges of his mouth rose slightly and a small smile formed. "So Becky and Dr Sue said."

This and the discussion about what we wanted to do this afternoon filled up the rest of the morning and thankfully it stopped any straying into discussing why Rachel saw four of us.

At lunch, Mr Hobson stood, and waited for the room to settle. Lunchtime announcements were rare. "Okay, I have an announcement." I glanced across at year-five and saw Marcus there instead of Stacy. "I have the pleasure of announcing a proposed affirmation between David and Helen. If any of you know any reason why this should not happen then you have a week to let me know. Are there any open objections now?"

This request was met only by silence. I wanted to look around, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I reached across and took Helen's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. She returned the affection and looked at me. Her face reflected the worry I felt. I don't know why we were worried, as there wasn't any reason for us not to be together.

After what seemed an eternity, Mr Hobson continued, "Excellent, then if the top year from both schools can do the honours."

"Is this why you had a big grin the other day?" Jill asked, as we waiting for the drinks to be distributed.

I nodded. "Sorry, but we didn't want to say anything until we got confirmation that it could happen. It seems we have caused a few people a lot of headaches because we're only in year-one."

"I think Julia would have a fit if we'd decided to go ahead this soon."

"You've talked about it?" I asked slightly amazed. I shouldn't have been though, as they'd known each other even longer than I'd known Helen.

"A few times, but we have a lot to find out about life before we make such a commitment. We probably will go through affirmation at some stage."

I wonder if the others didn't know about all the options such as togetherness. Perhaps I should mention this to them later.

Kriss arrived at our table with a tray full of empty flute glasses which she put in front of us. "You two are such dark horses."

"Oh that's nothing," I teased. "Wait until you hear some of the wedding party."

Kriss had got behind and rushed to empty her tray. Marcus and Andy appeared to offer us Champagne or sparkling water.

Once the room was ready, Mr Hobson continued. "Okay, we seem to be ready. I won't give out the complete wedding party as not all names have been decided. However, we have Marcus Haynes as Best Man and Jessica Barnes as Chief Bridesmaid. Since the Best Man normally gets to make a speech on the day, I will ask Jessica to give the toast."

Jessica took a deep breath, as all the eyes in the room focused on her. She rose and tried to smile through her terror. "I'm so glad I was warned about this." This got a splatter of laughter, which seemed to help her. "It's such a privilege to be asked to be chief bridesmaid. I can honestly say this is a dream that only a year ago I never thought would come true. I also wish to thank the heads in making it possible, even though I will be part of the school exchange. I hope Helen and Jayne's affirmation goes as smoothly as the last few we've had here. Please stand, and let's raise our glasses." Jessica raised her glass. "To Helen and Jayne."

"To Helen and Jayne," everybody responded and took a drink before sitting down. Thank goodness this hadn't happened in a country where they smashed their glasses after a toast. These glasses didn't look cheap.

"That was great," I praised Jessica as she sat down.

"I've never been so scared," she responded. "I thought my legs were going to give way."

"So when's the date?" Anna asked.

"We'll tell you all about it after lunch. If we keep talking, then we will be eating a cold meal again and there is nothing worse than a cold pasta bake." I didn't want to mention that no date had been set, as we were waiting so that Helen could cope with me.

Anna gave a nod and we all tucked into our meal. The conversation drifted onto the similar ceremonies they held in America and how they wished they'd be able to see ours.

Today was one of the days I would remember forever. It was the day our affirmation was announced and that would be so important in our lives. It would also be the last full day with our friends from Immigration Manor, at least during this visit. Tomorrow wasn't a day any of us were looking forward to, but today was a day for happiness and celebration.