Michelle explores and discovers sex. She's a married woman, so sex is inevitable. This chapter explores mother/daughter conversations as well as husband/wife physical relations. Its not dirty, but it is graphic and emotionally revealing. If you're the kind of person who can't tolerate sex taking place in a story, then I suggest you skip this chapter, but I hope you choose to read it. Mike versus Michelle: Part 17 A Bedtime Story By Sharon Parsons

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Michelle explores and discovers sex. She's a married woman, so sex is inevitable. This chapter explores mother/daughter conversations as well as husband/wife physical relations. Its not dirty, but it is graphic and emotionally revealing. If you're the kind of person who can't tolerate sex taking place in a story, then I suggest you skip this chapter, but I hope you choose to read it.

I went to my mother's house for a bunko game. I was the first to arrive and ten other ladies from the neighborhood followed me in shortly thereafter. I liked playing bunko. It was one of those things I used to fantasize about when I was a little boy. I pictured my self in a dress, rolling dice and smoking cigarettes with the real ladies.

On this particular day, I felt as if I had more in common with the women than I had in the past. They were all mothers and wives. They all were big gossips. They enjoyed each other's company. I wasn't a gossip, but I wasn't above listening to it.

I had been dressing up in front of these women and playing bunko with them since I was 12 years old. I started smoking with them when I was 14. I'd been a great source of entertainment for them in the past, but times had changed. They started taking me seriously after my marriage to Dave.

None of them, except for my mother, realized I was a virgin. They all thought Dave and I were "doing it". They assumed I knew what they were talking about when they talked about sex, so they included me in their conversations, just like they included me when they talked about kids. I kept an erection from start to finish.

The only thing different about this bunko game was the way I felt about myself. For the first time, I felt as if I belonged there.

I lit a cigarette and rolled the dice. Jane Hanson from down the street said she heard something about Herb Watson cheating on his wife Kim. Darby McLean said she thought she saw someone in Herb's car with him and it didn't look like Kim. Candice Wilson said she wouldn't mind having a piece of Herb because she wasn't getting any from her husband.

"What about you Michelle," asked Frieda Roberts. "Is Dave keeping you busy?"

"We just got over flu at my house, but I'm thinking things might get kind of busy in a bit," I said.

The ladies laughed and Mom raised an eyebrow.

****

I hung around and helped mom after the party. I would have stayed to help regardless, but I wanted to talk to her in private.

"So everyone is feeling better back at your house," asked Mom?

"They are. Its been a long three weeks," I said as I lit a cigarette. "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure baby. Lets talk," said Mom as she sat down at the table and lit a cigarette for her self. "What's on your mind?"

"Well you know how I've been talking to you about feeling different about the boys and Dave?"

Mom nodded. "It sounds to me like you're bonding with them."

"Yeah. I guess so, or something like that. I don't know. But I definitely feel different, like they're my family now. Not that you're not my family- cause you and Dad and Tony are my real family."

"I had a mother and a father and brothers and sisters too, before I met your father and had you and Tony. Its supposed to be like it is Michelle. Everything you're feeling is normal. You'll always be a part of my family, but you have a family of your own now. I'm glad you feel the way you do."

"You know Cam and Gary are calling me 'Mom' now, don't you?"

"Yes, you told me that. You said before that you liked it. You still do, don't you?"

"It was freaky at first, but I do like it. I love it when they call me Mom. It makes me feel loved. But at the same time, it feels kind of...sexy, or something like that. That's got to sound crazy."

"Not to me it doesn't. I know what's going on with you honey. I talk to Dr. Martha too. I'm not going to say I actually understand the way you feel, because I don't. But I know you've wanted this for a long time, haven't you darling?"

"I have Mom. But I don't get it either. Ever since I was a little kid, I always wanted to know what it felt like to be like you. You know. I wanted to know what it felt like to wear your clothes and smoke your cigarettes, be grown-up, and do the kind of stuff that you do."

"Because thinking about it made you feel good," offered my mother. "Sexually speaking, it turned you on. Right?"

"Yeah."

Mom trimmed the ash from her cigarette and said, "It must be very confusing for you."

"It makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like what I'm doing should be private and hidden, but everybody knows about it. Its like having a dream that you're naked in public."

"I know honey. Dr. Martha said it would be this way."

"But its not normal Mom. I shouldn't be doing this! It's so wrong. Everything about it is wrong."

"I don't think its normal either, but I certainly don't think its wrong. You aren't hurting anyone honey. From what I can see, you've made a difference in Cam and Gary's life, and Dave's too. They love you. You make them happy. And I think they make you happy. So what's wrong with that?"

"I know I'm not hurting anybody. Its just a feeling that I shouldn't be doing this, like its not supposed to be as real as it is- like I'm cheating life. And then I got this feeling, like I wonder what my life would have been like if you hadn't caught me that day."

"I wonder about that too sweetie," said Mom as she finished her cigarette and put it out in the ashtray. "Your father and I talk about it all the time. But I don't know what to tell you. I hope you're not having second thoughts, because its a little late for that. Dr. Martha warned us that the changes would be irreversible. I supposed you could get surgery for your breasts- a mastectomy, but there's no way to undo the hormones."

"I know that Mom. And its not like I'm having second thoughts. Sitting here right now with you, like this...I wouldn't trade it for anything. Its just that I wonder what my life would have been like if you hadn't caught me. The thing is that I still feel like a boy, so I wonder what I'd be like. It's so weird living with Cam and seeing him do the things he's doing, because I know I'd be doing the same things he is, if I hadn't done what I did."

"Are you jealous of Cam?"

"A little. Its like a part of me is and a part of me isn't. Its just that I look at him and see everything he's doing and I just wonder about it. Cause my life could have been like that too. You should see the way Dave looks at him. He's so proud. Dad doesn't look at me like that. The same thing goes for Gary. Gary looks up to Cam the way Tony used to look up to me."

"Your father and your brother are both proud of you and they love you."

"But its not the same thing and you know it," I said as I put my cigarette out.

"I don't know what you want me to say Michelle. You made some very big life changing decisions. You knew the risks before you made them. You can't have it both ways."

"But I could have, if I hadn't taken the hormones and got the breast implants."

"We talked about that honey. And we all agreed your urges were too strong to suppress. I know you have some regrets, but your life would have been so much more miserable if you had stayed a boy."

"I know that too Mom."

"Then why are we talking about it? Are you just venting?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to complain."

"Its okay honey. Its just that I feel so helpless. I'd do anything in the world for you. You know that, don't you? I want you to be happy and I want to help you in any way that I can. But I can't undo this. I just can't. And even if I could, it might not be the right thing. I'm proud of you Michelle. You're as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside."

"Thanks Mom. That means a lot to me to hear you say that."

Mom picked up her cigarettes and lit one. "I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true."

I laughed as I followed my mother's example and lit a cigarette for myself.

"I wasn't making a joke. I was being serious," said my mother.

"I know you were being serious. I guess I laughed because I was happy to hear you say it." I took a deep breath and sighed. "There's just so much more to being a woman than I thought. Its complicated, you know?"

"Not to me it isn't. But thats because its the only thing I've ever known. I can't imagine what it must be like for you."

"Its been a wild ride, that's for sure," I said as I trimmed my cigarette against the rim of the ashtray. "Is it just me? Or did everything happen really fast- like overnight? Because I feel like I haven't caught my breath yet."

"If you haven't caught your breath yet, then its because of those cigarettes. I really wish you would have quit when Dave did."

"I tried Mom. I really did."

"I know you did honey. Its just wishful thinking on my part. I didn't mean to nag you. But its a 'Mom Thing". You'll feel the same way if Cam or Gary ever start."

"Don't even say that! I felt bad enough when Dave started back and I thanked God when he quit again. I don't know what I'd do if I ever caught the boys smoking. It would kill me if they started."

"I'm sure it would," said my mother. "I know a piece of me died when you started smoking. And I think it made it worse seeing how happy you were about it"

"I'm so sorry Mom. I wish I had listened you."

Mom smiled at me sadly and said, "That's okay honey. I know you didn't do it to hurt me. So does this mean that smoking like a woman isn't what you thought it would be?"

"I don't know. I mean sometimes it does. I guess I still like the way it looks, but I hate the way it makes me feel. But I feel even worse when I don't do it. And then it bothers me that I can't go more than 10 minutes without needing one. I feel like I'm a slave to them."

"I tried to tell you," said my mother.

"I know you did Mom."

"That's okay sweetie. I'm still proud of you. So what other regrets did you want to talk about? I know you gave up a lot to become a woman."

"No real regrets. I promise. Its been fun and exciting. Its been humiliating and embarrassing. And its been rewarding too. I've never felt more special and important in my whole life. I feel like I count."

"I've seen the way Dave and the boys look at you. Believe me honey, you do count. They'd be lost without you."

"I'd be lost without them too, and I know they love me, but I think they deserve better. Cam and Tony deserve a real mom and Dave needs a real wife."

"Don't say that honey. You are a real mother and you're a real wife too."

"But I'm not a real woman and I'll never be a real woman. That's what I'm talking about."

"You don't need a uterus to be a real woman. Dr. Martha told you that."

"I know Mom, but thats not what I'm talking about. What I'm trying to say is that I feel like I'm in the middle and I can't go all the way. I can't be a real boy and I can't be a real woman. I love it most of the time but I'm disgusted too. I know I can take care of Cam and Gary because I've done it. But what about Dave?"

"What about him?"

"He's a man mom. I know he loves me as a person, because he's said so. But he needs more, and I don't know if I can give it to him."

"Has he asked you for sex?"

"No. He hasn't said anything, but I've been thinking about it."

"You're blushing," said my mom.

"Well yeah...what'd you expect? Its weird."

"Its not weird for a woman to think about having sex with her husband. I do it and I don't think its weird."

"That's because you're a real woman and dad is dad. He's you're husband and it was always supposed to be like that. But its different with me and Dave. I'm not a real woman, and he's Mr. Halsteader. He's Cam's dad! Doesn't that sound just a little bit weird to you? For crying out loud. He coached me in little league!"

"I suppose it would be weird if you were still a boy, but you're not, and you haven't been for quite a while. I'm not saying he doesn't know the truth about you, because he does. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't see a boy when he looks at you either. Whether you like it or not, and I'm pretty sure you do, you're a very attractive woman Michelle."

"But he's so much older than me."

"What difference does that make? You're his wife. The last time I checked, its perfectly legal for husbands and wives to make love with each other. The age difference doesn't matter, if you love him."

"That's not what I mean. I was talking about him being more experienced than me. I'm a virgin Mom. I've never done anything with a guy or a girl."

"Are you trying to tell me you don't know how to have sex with him? You've been using your dildo, haven't you?"

"I'm not talking about the technical part. I know how thats done. But I don't know how to get him to want to do it with me. And even if I asked him and he said yes, I've never done anything like that before so I'm afraid I'll do it wrong."

"First of all honey, there's no wrong way to make love to a man. If it feels good, then you're doing it right, and believe me, you'll be able to tell if he's feeling good. Is it foreplay you're worried about?"

"That and getting him to say yes."

"Don't think about it as if its a direct question. A woman doesn't ask her husband to make love to her. She makes it seem like its his idea. She plants the seed and lets it grow."

"But how do I do that?"

"There's lots of ways. You can flirt with him. You can say suggestive things. Wear a sexy nightgown. You have a baby doll, don't you?"

I shook my head no. "I like long gowns."

"I like them too, but when I want your father to make love to me, I put on a baby doll and flirt with him."

"I can't wear a baby doll. My penis would show."

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure Dave knows you have a penis."

"But he'll see my erection."

"Good. Then he'll know you're excited and that you want him. That's half the battle, letting a man know you want him without saying it. You're lucky. Its like having a billboard between your legs that says you want sex."

I didn't agree with her, but I wasn't going to argue about it since there wasn't anything I could do about it. She was right. Dave knew I had a penis. I couldn't hide it from him.

"Should I just lay there and let him get on top of me? Or should I do something first?"

"You really are new to this. Aren't you," asked my mother? "Sex isn't rocket science sweetie. Have you given him a hand job yet?"

"You mean jack him off?"

"You could call it that- yes, but I prefer to say masturbate."

"No!"

"Do you mean to tell me the two of you have been married for almost three months and you've never even touched his penis?"

"I told you Mom. I'm still virgin."

"Even so, you need to take care of Dave's needs. You're his wife after all. I can't believe the two of you are still married. I wish I'd known about this earlier. I just thought it would have taken care of it self."

"I wasn't ready until now. And I still don't know if I am. It sounds so gross."

"It won't be gross if you love him," said my mother.

"What if I do everything you say and he still doesn't want to have sex with me?"

"That will never happen sweetheart. I promise you. If Dave thinks you're willing to have sex with him, he'll jump all over it."

"I'm so scared Mom."

"I know you are honey. But you'll feel so much better about yourself after you do this. If you want, you can have one of my baby dolls. I think the blue one would look darling on you. Lord knows you have the cleavage to fill it out. Would you like to try it on to see if it fits?"

*****

I didn't get back home from my mother's until after 2:00. I beat Gary's bus by about 15 minutes. He told me all about his day over a half a peanut-butter sandwich and a glass of milk.

Dave got home around 5:30. Cam wouldn't be home for another hour after that, because of football practice. His team was off to a 4-0 start, and Dave was so excited about that.

I thought about everything my mother and I had talked about while I made dinner. Every now and then, I'd look at Dave and wonder if I had the nerve to really go through with it.

After dinner, Dave and I watched TV while Gary played across the street and Cam did his homework in the kitchen. Dave was in a good mood, so I sat close to him on the couch. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek.

"Is that the best you can do," I asked?

"What?"

"You kissed me on the cheek. Is that the best you can do?"

The look on his face said, don't tempt me.

"No. I can do better, he said. "I just thought..."

I kissed him on the lips before he could finish his sentence.

"What was that for," he asked?

I placed me left hand over his crotch and gave his penis a gentle squeeze.

"I was thinking maybe you might want to make a woman out of me tonight, that is if you want to. I'm not going to force myself on you though."

I'd gone and done it. I did what my mother told me not to do. I asked Dave for sex. Well I didn't exactly ask him, but I might as well have just come out and said it. I gave him an out too. Why?

I figured that despite what my mother said about Dave being eager, there was a still a chance he would reject me. I didn't want to humiliate myself by putting on the baby doll only to hear him say he'd rather not. If he was going to reject me, I wanted it be on the couch.

Dave's mouth opened wide. He looked stunned. I braced for the worst.

"Are you sure you want to do it," he asked?

I kissed him on the lips again and told him that I loved him.

"I love you too," he said.

I grinned happily as I felt his erection grown beneath my hand.

"I got a new nightgown," I said. "Its a baby doll."

"What color?"

"Blue."

"I like blue," said Dave.

*****

At nine o'clock, Cam went to his room and I put Gary to bed. Dave was still sitting on the couch when I came down stairs. He had a smile on his face that just wouldn't quit.

"Are you ready to go to bed," he asked?

I told him I wanted to get changed first and asked him to wait in the living room until I was ready. He nodded excitedly and asked me to hurry up.

I gave him one more kiss on the lips before going into our bedroom and closing the door behind me. I was giddy with excitement, but I was also nervous about making a good impression on him.

After taking off my make-up, I changed into the blue baby doll my mother had given me. She was right about my breasts filling out the cups. And I was right about my penis showing. It lit a cigarette, not because I thought it would make me look sexy, but because I needed it. Smoking relieves my stress.

Dave had been good about not getting in my case too hard about quitting, and although he said he couldn't tell a difference, I had tried to cut back. I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head. And to think I started because I thought it would make me look sexy and grown-up like my mom.

I went into the bedroom, pulled the sheets down and climbed into the bed. I called out to David and told him I was ready.

I was facing him when he came in, propped up on my side, with a cigarette between my fingers.

Dave stood at the side of the bed gawking.

"How do I look," I asked? "Sorry about the cigarette, but I'm kind of nervous."

"Like a dream," he said as he closed and locked our bedroom door. He told me how beautiful and sexy I looked as he tore off his clothes and threw them into a pile.

His erect penis bobbed up and down in front of him as he hurried over to his side of the bed. I'd seen David naked before, but never while he had an erection. It was intimidating to say the least ,as I mentally compared it to the silicone dildo I'd been using. It was about the same length, but Dave's penis looked fatter. I couldn't imagine him putting it in my bottom but I was imagining it. Would it fit, I wondered?

Dave ran his fingers across my swollen breasts and gave me sweet kisses against my lips and cheeks as I nervously finished my cigarette. If he noticed my own little erection, he wasn't saying anything about it and that was fine with me.

I was seriously torn between wanting to give Dave a blow job and not wanting to do it. A real woman would do it. My mother would do it. I heard Dana had done it. I had to do it. All the while I'm thinking about this, I'm also thinking that guys just don't do this to other guys. Of course some guys do, but I'm not like that- am I?

I reached out and took hold of his penis with my free hand. Was I telegraphing my thoughts? Did he think I was disgusted? I hoped not.

"Its so big," I said, and I wasn't lying. Other than my own, I'd never held a real penis in my hand. It throbbed with the rhythm of his pulse. I felt myself getting excited and repulsed at the same time. Am I really going to put it in my mouth, I wondered?

"I wouldn't know," said Dave. "I've never really compared myself to other guys."

"I guess you wouldn't," I said as I ran a long finger nail across the top of his penis head. I bent forward and kissed it. It felt soft against my lips.

"You know Michelle, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. We could just cuddle. I don't want to rush you into anything."

"You're not rushing me," I said as I finished my cigarette and put it out. "If anything, you've been more patient than you should be. I want to do this. I think it would be good for me, and I think it would be good for our marriage too."

Dave didn't argue with me as I lowered myself on the bed and placed my lips over his penis head. I heard him moan softly as I did my best to take him in.

I don't think I could have done what I was doing if it had been anyone other than Dave. Did he lock the door? I tried to remember. The last thing I wanted was for Cam or Gary to find me with their father's penis in my mouth. But he wasn't just their father. He was my husband and I had every right in the world to suck on my husband's penis. These thoughts emboldened me and I soon found myself getting into it.

It was definitely a new experience and Dave's size was crowding my mouth, making it difficult to breath. Mom warned me not to suck him too long or else he'd have an orgasm and shoot his sperm in my mouth. She said that was okay if he did and that I should try it sometime, but if I wanted to have intercourse with him, he might not be able to get hard again for a while. She said that once a man reaches 40, he loses a bit of his stamina when it comes to sex. Dave was 41.

I decided to end our session early. It wasn't as if we wouldn't be married next week. I had all the time in the world to explore my husband's penis.

Dave thanked me and told me how nice I'd made him feel.

My jaw felt tired and sore and I rubbed it with my hand while I wondered if he'd kiss me again, now that I probably had penis breath. So this is what it feels like to be a cock sucker, I thought as I reached for my cigarettes.

"Do you mind," I asked as I placed the cigarette between my lips.

"Of course not honey. I know you need them. Besides, I hate to admit it, but you do look kind of sexy when you smoke."

"Really?" I asked as I lit my cigarette.

Dave smiled and looked away. He was blushing.

"I thought you wanted me to quit," I said.

"I do want you to quit, but you still look good doing it. It kind of makes me want to have one with you."

"Well you can't," I said firmly. I'm the only smoker in this family and that's the way its going to stay until I quit." My tone was soft and funny, but my intent was deadly serious.

"Dana said the same thing the first time I quit. She didn't want me to start back either."

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Of course I do, but she wanted us to be together and I understand that now. We need each other. I love you Michelle."

"I love you too," I said as I took his firm penis in my hand and pulled on it. "So you're okay with doing what we're about to do?"

"I can't tell you how many times I've imagined it," said Dave.

"Did you think about it while you were coaching me in little league," I asked?

"No!" said Dave. "Of course not! Why? Did you?"

"A little bit," I said. "I don't know why, but I've always thought you were cute. I didn't think we'd be doing this though."

"But you're okay with it? This isn't going to bother you, is it? I really do love you Michelle. You mean the world to me and the boys and I'd never do anything to jeopardize our life together. We can stop if you want to."

I looked down at his long erect penis and then I looked at his warm face. "I don't want to stop. I want you to kiss me," I said.

Dave snuggled in for a kiss and I wrapped him up in my arms, being careful not to burn him with my cigarette as our mouths connected.

His lips felt so soft and his mouth was the was sweetest thing I'd ever tasted in my life. I forgot about everything as I wandered aimlessly through his kiss. I felt like I was floating. His kisses were nothing like his son's. Dave's kisses were warm and purposeful and full of love and passion.

I was the one who broke the kiss. I did so because I didn't want to drop an ash on the bed. "That was nice," I said as I finished off the cigarette with a final puff and put it out in the ashtray.

"I thought so too," said Dave. "You tasted so wonderful. I didn't want to stop."

"Me neither," I said as I opened the drawer to the bedside table and pulled out a tube of KY Jelly. "I'm going to need to put some of this on you. Otherwise, I don't think it will work," I said. "I'll be too dry."

His penis twitched as I rubbed the KY Jelly into his soft skin. I couldn't get over how big it felt in my hand. This is my husband's penis, I thought as I ran my fingers up and down the shaft. He's going to use it to make a woman out of me, I thought as put the cap on the tube and dried my hand on a kleenex.

"I've never done this before," I said as I laid my head back against the pillow.

"We can take it slow," said Dave as he mounted me from the front. "Just tell me if it hurts and we can stop."

"Okay," I said. "But I don't want you to stop- even if it hurts. I want to do this. I want you to make a woman out of me. We need to do this for us. Its important."

"I know it is," said Dave as he braced his self on his palms and navigated his penis toward my anus.

I told him I thought he was there and I asked him to push. He did and I felt the tip of his engorged head make its initial penetration.

I dug my fingernails into his shoulders. It was either that or scream, and I didn't want to scream. I couldn't take a chance on him stopping before we finished. It hurt, but it also felt good in an odd way. The feeling wasn't entirely foreign, but he was bigger than the dildo.

He asked if I was okay. I told him I was and asked him to keep going. He pushed his hips slowly into me and I felt his penis mover deeper and deeper. I asked him if it felt good. He told me it was wonderful. I told him to keep going. I wanted him deeper inside me.

"I'm all the way in," he said. "You feel fantastic! Are you okay? You're crying. I see tears."

"Keep going. I'm just happy. That's why I'm crying."

"Are you sure?" asked Dave as he pumped his hips.

"I feel wonderful. You're wonderful. Keep going."

I wasn't crying because it was painful. The physical pain had subsided and I had begun to enjoy the feeling of Dave's penis inside me. But I had lied about the tears.

I'm not one to use foul language. My mother doesn't use it and she didn't raise me to use it. But there are some thoughts that require bad words. Dave wasn't fucking me. He was making love to me and it was beautiful.

The only way to describe what I was thinking is to say, Dave was making love to me as Michelle, but he was fucking the hell out of Mike. My husband was fucking Mike out of me. And when he was done fucking the hell out of Mike, Michelle would be the only one left. At least I hoped it would feel that way.

I wanted Dave to make a woman out of me. But I knew my boy side would suffer in the process.

I always thought that making love should be a two way street with evenly split gives and takes. But my first sexual encounter with Dave wasn't like that. It wasn't his fault though. He was doing his best to be gentle and loving.

I'd later tell Dr. Martha that my first time with Dave felt like I was being raped. She said it was because my male ego had been crushed and humiliated. She said that considering my unique situation, it was very understandable that my male side felt like a rape victim.

By asking Dave to make love to me, I had figuratively led Mike to slaughter.

I had a lot of fantasies while growing up. Some of them were Prince Charming style fantasies. But they were never graphic, or painful, or humiliating.

I had constantly questioned my sexuality while growing up. That's because I saw love and relationships from both a male and female perspective. If I thought about Prince Charming, I'd put Mike to rest. If I thought about some girl in my school, I'd ignore Michelle. Maybe I'm bisexual, but I don't think so. Dr. Martha doesn't think so either.

I feel sorry for anyone who has been raped or has been forced to have sex against their will. But I think its even worse when a male is raped by another male. The heterosexual male psyche isn't wired to be penetrated. It's demeaning and humiliating.

I thought about my father while Dave made love to me. I didn't think I'd be able to look him in the eye again afterwards. It was difficult enough for me to live with what he must think of me. But I had still felt like his son in a way, even if I thought of myself as his sissy son. But I'd be so much more than that after Dave was through with me. I'd be a cock sucking meat packed faggot. I didn't want to feel like that and I didn't want to be that. But I didn't want to be a regular normal boy either.

I'd chosen this life for myself and I was determined to make the best of it. And as Dave's tempo quickened, I prayed a silent prayer.

I prayed that Dave's orgasm would be like a baptism of sorts, and that my boy side would drown in his sperm, leaving Michelle to swim safely away.

I opened my eyes in time to see Dave's face contort as his hips froze in place against mine. I felt him deep inside me. I heard him groan as I felt his hot sperm wash through my insides. My husband had cum inside me. He'd given me his seed. We'd consummated our marriage at last and he had made a woman out of me, or so I hoped.

Dave switched his weight from his hands to his elbows. I felt his chest squash up against my breasts. He was heavy, but he managed to keep most of his weight off me.

He told me how good it had been and then he buried my mouth with his and kissed me passionately. I kissed him back until he rolled off of me and on to his side. I felt his sperm flow out of me and onto the mattress as he pulled out.

I thanked him and told him it was wonderful. I told him I loved him. He said he loved me too.

We spent the next three or four minutes in silence. I know I was thinking about what we'd done and I suspect he was doing the same. I hoped he wasn't questioning his own sexuality. I hadn't come to him as a boy. I had come to him as his wife and a woman, and I hoped he had made love to me in that same spirit. I didn't want him to suffer the mental anguish of questioning his actions and motivations. That was my burden, and I didn't want him to bare it with me.

I reached for my cigarette case and extracted a Winston from it and placed it between my lips. In the past I'd never been able to smoke after having orgasm. My orgasms were always followed by shame and remorse. I was always too disgusted with myself to smoke. I hated my cigarettes and I hated my women's clothes and I hated my self. But I hadn't had an orgasm, and I needed that cigarette, so I lit it and inhaled the smoke deep inside my lungs.

My little penis sprang quickly to attention as I realized I was smoking like a woman after she had had sex. I was too stimulated and excited to care that my erection was visible to Dave. I saw him staring at it as I smoked.

What happened next caught me completely off guard. Dave got up off of his side, scooted down the bed and took my penis in his mouth. Was my husband going to give me a blow job?

How could he?

I moaned out loud and prayed he wouldn't stop. Don't let him come to his senses, I thought, at least not yet.

It felt wonderful. I felt great. I lifted the cigarette to my lips and took a puff. I felt even better as I inhaled the smoke and held it. I always smoked while I masturbated, but this was different. It wasn't masturbation. I wasn't alone. I felt self-conscious about smoking while my husband gave me oral sex, but it felt too good to put it out. I continued smoking as my husband sucked.

It didn't take long for the orgasm to rise over the dam. I took another puff and held it as my body screamed in ecstasy. I think Dave swallowed. I know he did.

I took him by the shoulders and pulled him on top of me. I kissed him while rubbing my hand across his back.

"Oh darling! Thank you so much. You didn't have to do that. I didn't expect you too."

"I wanted to though," said Dave. "I love you and I wanted to show you how much I love you."

"Weren't you grossed out?" I asked as I put my cigarette out and replaced it with a fresh one.

"When you love somebody, nothing about them is gross," he said. "I wanted to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

"Was it really that good for you," I asked?

Whether he meant it or not, Dave told me it had been amazing and incredible and that it had never ever felt as good as it had with me. I wanted to believe him.

He snuggled up to my breasts and held me around the waist as I finished my cigarette. I didn't know if the feeling would last, but at the moment, I wasn't feeling humiliated or violated. I didn't feel like a boy who had just had sex with a man. I felt like a very fulfilled woman.

After finishing my cigarette, I turned off my light and fell asleep in Dave's arms.