Part 3 By Arecee Edited by Holly Hart & Sephrena Miller |
“Umm, could I have your number too?” he asked timidly.
Wow! Rex actually wants my number! This was delicious! Yeah…well… hmmm. I began to ponder whether that was such a good idea or not. I could just imagine my mother answering the phone and being asked to speak to her daughter. No, that was not going to work! I knew in my heart that it would be best if this little charade ended now. It was fun, but seriously dangerous! It was my first kiss, but that was beside the point. I had to be strong!
Rex took that moment of indecision and decided to kiss me again, gently with some rippling of his tongue along my lips. I was stuffing my number into his pocket while he was still kissing me.
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Horror! Oh my god! Oh my god! It was so real!
A bead of sweat trickled down my nose and slowly made its way onto my cheek. I was breathing heavily as my heart hurt, beating loudly inside me. Desperate for air, I got on my knees in bed and slid my window all the way open. The cool clean night air flowed in and hit my nose. I started to slow my breathing down as I got a hold of my senses.
I’m Gay! I actually dreamed of Danny: being held by him, being kissed by him!, and… enjoying it! Maybe I am not a girl after all? Wow! This was not something I had anticipated. Finding out that I enjoyed being with another boy just shook me to my core. Forget Mindy trying to make me into a girl… being gay was infinitely worse! Ugggh!
I looked up into the moonlight sky and stared at nothing in particular. The panorama of the halo around the moon and the deep darkness of the sky pierced by dots of stars held my gaze. I sighed. The sad thing about all of this is that it felt so right to me. I found nothing repulsive about being with Danny or being loved by him — even though it was just a dream. It actually excited me in a way I could not yet fully describe; it held me in awe, was thrilling, and gave me goosebumps all over my skin! Even worse, I’m finding myself craving to experience more of this!Yeah, even my body confirms it! It told me something about myself I didn’t know before.
The stigma of being gay and being seen publicly is a lot worse than my dressing up and pretending to be a girl. Pain, Pain, and more pain! I could just see myself being beaten and pounded by other boys just for being me. The girls would give me that awful sneer of being a freak. And then Mom. Oh… Mom!
How could I tell her that her own son is… gay?
I’m only fourteen and already my life is ruined! Really, how could things get much worse? The pillar of everything I had once believed myself to be is no longer there. I once thought I was a regular boy. Dissatisfied? Yes! But then Mindy got me mixed up into this Homecoming Princess prank and kept telling me how much of a girl I was. Now… this dream of Danny told me something else. Just what the fudge am I?
Gay boys act a lot like girls towards one another don’t they? Well, that’s what I am towards Danny isn’t it? Does that mean he is gay as well? I mean, well, I am attracted to him. Suppose if he isn’t gay? What if he isn’t gay and finds out I am and like him? Would he attack me?
Why couldn’t I dream of kissing a girl instead of Danny? Yeah… why?
I wiped a little water that was blurring my vision with my pajama sleeve. It suddenly dawned on me why. I did not feel for Mindy or other girls for that matter, like I did for Danny in my dream. To me, they were friends, and Mindy, she is like my own sister. The awful truth was staring at me right in the face.
I listened to the occasional cricket chirp in the backyard.
I need to talk to Mindy tomorrow about this. I decided that I would still go along with this prank of being a girl for the next couple of weeks and not let Mindy push me into being something I’m not. Yeah, she is headstrong when she gets her mind to it, but then again, we are great friends. I also knew that she was not trying to hurt me either.
Ugghh! I’d better try and get back to sleep.
I left the window open and slumped back down into my pillows. My mind turned back to that kiss… his warm lips touching mine… a smile creased my lips as I lay there with my eyes closed.
“Lllyyyyynn!”
I opened my eyes some and found the Saturday morning sun shining through my window. I paused a moment trying to remember what else I had dreamed of. I knew that I was with Danny… or was it some other boy? I couldn’t seem to remember the rest.
The sun was warming my skin. I just loved mornings like this! The air crisp morning air was all around me in my room. I rolled my head so that I stared at the ceiling and lay there soaking in the rays.
“Lynn! Honestly!” My mother stated as she scared me out of my nirvana. “Mindy is on the telephone for you.”
I looked at the clock on my nightstand. It wasn’t even nine yet.
“I’m sorry Mommy! I’ve just been daydreaming.”
My mom was standing in my doorway and giving me a weird look. Uh oh! What did I do wrong?
“What’s with this Mommy stuff? You haven’t called me that in years. It’s always been — Mom.”
Ooops!
I quickly thought up my response and said, “Well, It’s such a nice morning and it’s made me want to be especially nice to everyone today. Is it wrong for me to want to be nice?” I gave Mom my best bambi eyes.
My mom sort of gave me that all knowing grin and added, “Mindy is still on the phone dear.”
Fudge! I flipped the comforter off of me and scrambled out of bed and down the hallway to the kitchen.
My mother rolled her eyes as she had watched me scamper like a girl with my hair flying around me and muttered, “Lynn! Some days! Just when you think you get to know them and then they go bend the rules to keep you on your toes!”
“Hello?”
“Lynn, what are you doing?”
I wrinkled my nose and said back the obvious, “I’m standing here on the phone talking to you in my PJ’s.”
“Well let’s get together! We can spend the day together,” she bubbled.
God, it was too early for this kind of energy!
“What’s gotten into you this morning?”
“It’s a beautiful day, and I want to spend it with my girlfriend. Ask your mom if we can spend the day together,” she said.
I covered the handset, “Mommmm? Mindy wants to know if I can go over to her house to work on our project?”
My mother walked into the kitchen adjusting her realtor’s handbag, “I don’t see why not. I have to leave for work now. I have an open house today,” Mom said.
“Thank you Mommy!”
I uncovered the handset and answered, “Mom says it’s okay. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
“Take your shower before you come over, and check your legs! You might have to shave again.”
“Yes boss,” I grumbled into the phone. My mother had gone out the front door as I heard the door shut in the background.
“I’m serious Lynn!” Mindy emphasized, “You want to look your best at all times. I’ll see you in a little while. Ok?”
Mindy had hung up the phone before I even had a chance to say goodbye. She must have drunk too much coffee! She couldn’t be going a hundred miles an hour naturally.
I went and showered, and checked my legs just like Mindy had asked me to do. Snap! I felt the miniscule fine hairs just barely peeking through my skin. It had only been five days since I first shaved my legs and now I had to do it all over again. Thank God mom had left her razor in the shower or I’d be out of luck! I soaped my legs and cleaned the suds off, and then touched up my underarms. This training to be a girl was becoming a lot more work than I anticipated! At least I didn’t have to worry about my mother seeing her gay son in all his hairless glory.
I put on a T-shirt and jeans and ran to the bus stop. While I was running, I wondered if I was running like a girl or boy? The lines of distinction had become blurred.
When the bus arrived, I made my way to a seat in the rear. Beings how it was Saturday, there was only one other person on the bus with me. The bus pulled away from the curb and I became lost in thought as it rumbled down the city streets.
My first thought was of being caught in this whole deception. What would my mother say if she found out her son had been impersonating a girl? I’m sure all heck would break loose! Then my mind wandered to something else. Was I enjoying this little ruse too much? I thought about the blurring of gender and how easily I had crossed that line. I knew I had crossed it! But where was I really?
What I was doing now was I was starting to become the person I was supposed to be. I didn’t feel like I was a boy pretending to be a girl and yet, I am naturally a girl in personality; at least Mindy has said so how many times. Others have noticed as well. I haven’t started puberty yet — that phase in children’s lives where they start to become adults. But that shouldn’t matter - I’m still a boy, or at least I think I am, even if I am gay. After yesterday and last night, I wonder?
Wearing the clothes and being a girl was easy - too easy. The most unsettling thing though, was my reaction to boys, or I should say one boy in particular - Danny. His attention toward me yesterday should have made me sick, but it didn’t. Even in the dream, when it got… ummm… more serious, it really should have too! But I had to be honest with myself. I admit that I loved his attention. In the dream - I craved it! My confusion was whether I liked the attention of a boy as a boy or as a girl? Or was it just sexual? When I awoke last night, all I could think about was that I was gay. My experience with Danny had been nothing more than a dream, and yet, it had really been more! Mindy will know better than I what’s going on.
I arrived at Mindy’s and knocked on the door. Mindy greeted me with an evil smile.
“Come on in girlfriend, we have work to do!” she enthused.
“Can we talk first?” I asked.
“We can talk while you’re getting ready. That’s what girls do. It kind of kills two birds with one stone,” she giggled.
“Please Mindy! I really need to talk first,” I implored.
Mindy’s infectious smile faded as she knew I had something serious to talk about. She had concerns of her own about what we were doing but had elected not to say anything.
“Ok Lynn, what’s wrong?” she asked as she patted the bed beside her. I sat down beside her and stared at the floor.
“It’s… it’s… this girl thing. It’s scaring me Mindy! I don’t think I shouldn’t be doing this! It’s…it’s… not right,” I said, as tears filled my eyes.
I’m not much of a crier, but the tension and acceptance of my plight had finally overwhelmed me. Mindy wrapped her arms around me as I buried my head against her chest. She held me, gently rocking me. Some of my sobs actually stabbed at Mindy’s conscious and she held me even tighter — with tears filling her eyes.
“Lynn, I’m sooo sorry I got you into this stupid thing!”
I sniffled between my sobbing as my crying slowed.
“I just didn’t know the whole school would be voting for you! If I could do it over, I would have never entered you! You know you mean a lot to me. I’m so sorry I hurt you!”
“Y-y-yooou didn’t… hurt me!” I choked out muffled against her shirt.
Mindy let me lift my head up and dab the tears with some tissues she handed me.
“I… just don’t know what I am anymore!” I managed to get out as I slightly rubbed my reddened eyes, “I am just as much to blame too Min. I could have said no.”
She held my hands.
“There’s just so much more to this than I expected. I thought I would dress for the functions and be done with it. And I never really noticed the differences between boys and girls, except for, well - you know,” I said pointing at her boobs.
Mindy placed her hands on both of my shoulders and stared into my eyes. “And that’s why I was training you. Being a girl is more than just wearing some clothes. You radiate it from within, you feel it, you express it. It’s a mixture of behavior and feeling. Well, there is more, but that’s basically it. It’s like having a woman walk up to you and compliment you for being a pretty girl. That doesn’t come from makeup, but from the heart,” Mindy said.
“Lynn, let’s go ahead and stop this. I’ll call Miss Benson on-“
I interrupted her, “Min, I’m not saying I shouldn’t try this. It’s just something else is bothering me too.”
“Like what?”
“Oh, yesterday, I was a girl — a girl inside!, not a boy pretending to be one.”Mindy put her hands to her mouth in shock, “ Yes — a girl! And then last night I had a dream. I was, like, kissing Danny and then he held me close, and… and.. we made out!” I whimpered. Shame reddened my face as I cringed.
Mindy tried to stifle a laugh.
“What the snap is so funny?” I quipped. I felt heat rising in my face as I became incensed at Mindy laughing at my plight.
“Lynn! Girls have those dreams all the time.”
Omigosh! She doesn’t understand!
“But I’m not a girl! I kissed him! I’m…I’m… GAY!”
Mindy’s laugh disappeared and was replaced by her thinking expression.
“Okay tell me this then: Were you a girl or a boy in your dream?”
“A girl. I mean I felt I was a girl in the dream, just I never visualized myself.”
“Hmm, I see. So do you think Danny’s gay too?”
“I-I… don’t know.”
Mindy paused and thought how to rephrase that. “Ok, who was Danny kissing — a boy or a girl?”
“He was kissing a girl.”
“And that girl was?”
“Me.”
“Exactly!” She waved her arms and widened her eyes, “So you see? You’re not gay, but a girl falling for a boy.”
Huh? What…
“Min, but that’s just it! I’m not a girl.”
“I think we could debate that. Like it or not Lynn, you’re more of a girl than you think. It’s seems to have been a part of your personality and nature — hidden underneath your image. But given the chance, it came out on its own. And on the outside, excepting what is between your legs, and with how your hair is and how you are built, you very easily pass as a girl. Almost. That is why I was filling you in on the details and things that most girl’s already know so you wouldn’t slip up.”
“But I don’t want to be a girl,” I whined.
I knew what I had just said, but was it the truth? If I was honest with myself I knew that I was lying. I was never going to be the kind of guy I wanted to be. My wish had been to be six- two and loaded with muscles. I knew that was never gonna happen. You know heredity and all? My frame is lithe, I’m short, I’m built like most girls, and even with the just some clothes and a hint of makeup, I easily pass as one. Yeah, Mindy is right about that. But so what? I’m simply a boy.
But what about my girl thing? I really had enjoyed my previous day as a girl. And what would be so wrong with learning more about how the other half lives? There was something comforting, honest, and right about being Lynn - the girl. I only had to do this for another couple of weeks, so why not try to make the best of it?
“Lynn, no one is asking you to be a girl. I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to you. Just have a little fun with this, and, when it’s over, you can be that stud muffin you want so badly want to be,” Mindy giggled.
I just slightly grimaced. “You know that won’t be happening. If I face the truth, the truth is, I’m always going to be,” I waved my arms from my head to my legs, “like this - small.”
“But still a boy,” Mindy cheered.
I smiled just a little bit.
“Okay, let’s attach your forms. So lay back on the bed.”
I did as she instructed and soon felt the cold blobs, which were my breasts, warm up against my chest. It’s amazing what just a few drops of that adhesive could do for a person’s ego! I held the breast forms with my hands for support as I stood next to the bed looking down at them.
“Feeling yourself up Lynn?” Mindy giggled.
She just did not say what I think she just did — did she? Sigh. She did. Grrr! I felt my face go red. I hadn’t even seen another girl’s breasts and here Mindy was making fun of me because my hands were on my own — even if they were fake.
“Stop it Mindy. These things are heavy. They were a little uncomfortable yesterday after all of our shopping,” I whined.
Mindy smirked, “Guess what Lynn? We girl’s have to put up with them everyday. Don’t be such a wuss.”
“Can I at least have one of my bras?”
Mindy went to her dresser and removed one of the sexier bras she had picked for me. It was nothing but lace, even where it was supposed to cover my nipples. Mindy wrapped it around my body and attached the clasps in the back. Not only could you see through this, but it also pushed my forms together and created cleavage that appeared very naughty. Mindy blended the seams where the forms and my skin came together with makeup. I’m not going to say it was perfect, but if you weren’t looking for the seam you wouldn’t see it.
“Very nice!” she cooed as she eyed me over critically.
Mindy gave me a pair of tan shorts and a blouse to wear. The shorts were tight and very small. They barely covered my panties. When I went to bend over, the thong would show from behind! Geez! I feel like I’m naked in this!
The blouse, if you want to call it that, was equally as small, and was tied just below my breasts and exposing more cleavage than I was comfortable with. The only thing that didn’t show was my bra. And I’m sure there was some way to do that too!
“Okay girl, we’re almost done! Here,” she said, and handed me a pair of cork wedge sandals.
“Mindy, isn’t this a little extreme? I mean, I feel like I’m on display for everyone.”
“Lynn, that’s right. Every girl is going to be dressed just like us and we are always on display. That’s a fact of life for a girl. It takes a lot of time to look this good.”
I just grumbled a little as I started to put on the sandals.
“Min, why do I have to wear these with the heels on them?”
“Because silly, you need practice walking in heels and these will be easy for you. They’re only an inch high. Just wait until later when you get to wear threes,” she giggled.
“All done?” Mind asked as I stood up.
“I guess so,” I breathed out.
“Good. Then let’s get you made up.”
Mindy led me to her makeup table and seated me in front of the mirror.
“You are going to need practice in doing this stuff yourself. So I’ll put it on first, clean it off, and then you try, okay?”
“Why do I have to learn this? Can’t you do it for me? It’s only for a few weeks?”
I watched Mindy’s expression change from cheerful to stern.
“Are you serious? I can’t go with you to the girl’s room everytime and make you up. Makeup is the first thing we learn when we are old enough to make ourselves look more beautiful. It really is fun and I’m sure that you are going to like doing this to yourself.”
It was put it on and take it off, again and again and again. We spent almost two hours practicing. Mindy said I was getting pretty good at it but she still did the final makeup before we went to the mall. I looked at the finished product in the mirror. My stomach dropped. I felt a shiver go through me!
“Mindy, no! I can’t go out like this!” I quietly shushed.
”What do you mean? Of course you can.”
“But I look so… so…” my words drifted away.
“So much older? Yes, you do look a little older. But what you can’t cover up Lynn, is beauty. That’s something that comes naturally. And guess what? You are naturally endowed with lots of it. I seriously don’t know how in the world I had failed to see this on you after all these years we have known each other! Even I’m shocked! Just try not to think about it, be yourself, and enjoy the day we are going to have at the mall.”
I blinked a couple of times. Even I’m having trouble believing that I really do look so much like a girl! I mean, just a tiny bit of makeup, a dab here and there, and presto! This amazing looking girl stares back at me in the mirror! And that girl — is me!
Mindy tugged on my arm and slowly pulled me up off of her stool, breaking the spell I was under.
We rode the bus to the mall. Luckily, there weren’t any boys on board to make nasty comments towards me.
We started our adventure at the nearest store to the mall entrance we walked in through and continued on to each one as we came to them. We had just finished with our third store, a boutique specializing in young women’s fashion, when, as we exited the store, Mindy stopped and let out a shriek.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! It’s Charlie. Come on!” Mindy excitedly impressed. She then proceeded to pull me across the mall by my hand.
“Mindy, what the fudge are you doing?” I asked, trying to keep up, “And who’s Charlie?”
Mindy was grinning as we hurried, “Only the most gorgeous boy I met the last time that I was here!”
Mindy smiled as her head bobbed up and down as we made it past some people through the food court, “I didn’t give him my phone number and I thought I’d never see him again!”
Hmm…
“But what about ME?” I nervously asked, pointing at my obviously sexy clothes.
“Charlie has a friend with him,” she smiled, “this will be perfect!”
Omigosh! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo…
“Just perfect, Mindy. Are you out of your mind? Have you forgotten that I’m a boy? You just went all over me yesterday because of how I was with Danny. NOW, you are going to put me back into that SAME situation??!”
“Yep!”
“You are seriously Cr-”
“Hiiii Charlie!” Mindy cooed.
We had reached the object of her dreams.
“Oh hey! Hi Mindy. What are you doing here?” the boy who obviously had to be Charlie replied.
“My best friend forever in the whole world and I came out to shop,” Mindy proudly introduced me. I started to blush a crimson shade and shied away from looking directly at Charlie. “Charlie this is Lynn. She’s the Homecoming Princess for our class this year.”
“Hi Lynn. Mindy sure has some beautiful friends. It’s a real pleasure to meet you,” he smoothly praised me as he extended his hand to shake mine. He continued, “Mindy, Lynn, this goofus beside me that hasn’t stopped staring at Lynn is my friend Rex.”
I nervously extended my hand and felt Charlie’s strong grasp as he gently shook my hand.
“Hi,” Rex said, blushing at Charlie’s remark about me. I looked over at him and saw that he was as nervous as I. Ummm, does that mean he likes me?
“You’re really the Homecoming Princess?” Charlie asked.
“Yes. I’m afraid so. I thought everyone at school knew about it?”
“Oh, well we don’t go to your school. We go to Saint Ingrid’s.”
Now I really felt like an idiot. How could I be so dumb? Hello Lynn? There is a larger world out there!
“I’m sorry, I just thought____.”
“Ah don’t worry about it. Hey, would you mind much if Rex and I hung out with you girls for the afternoon?”
“Of course you can!” Mindy answered before I had a chance to move my lips.
I widened my eyes in terror. I wanted to run, run far away from this situation as possible! I gave her one of those ‘What the fudge are you thinking?’ looks, but all she did was smile at me and grabbed Charlie’s arm.
I stood there watching them talking about anything and everything as they began walking slowly along the store fronts down this mall wing.
“Umm… I guess it’s you and me? I mean… that is..” Rex startled me out of my daymare, with some hesitation.
Oh freakin’ JOY! I’m going to spend the entire afternoon pretending to be a girl and try not to be discovered and I have to be in close proximity to a BOY the entire time! Is there really a God? Rex seemed to be very shy, which could be good. That way, I won’t have to talk too much! Rex is cute though. Snap! Did I just think that? Cute?
The four of us walked through the mall together in pairs and much to my surprise Rex wasn’t as shy as I initially thought! In fact, he had me laughing almost the entire time we were together with his witty humor. I learned that he and Charlie were on the football team at their school and he didn’t have a girlfriend. I found myself lowering my guard and letting go. Something about Rex, maybe his personality or else it was my instinct made me feel he was safe to be around. So I let go of my tenseness and began being this girl I portrayed. I knew some of my buttons were being pushed the right way when I found my fingers intertwined with Rex’s as we walked. When did he do that? I wondered. Guess I do need to pay more attention to my surroundings, huh?
“Hey, what do you all think about seeing a movie?” Charlie suggested.
“I —,”I started to say, but Mindy cut me off fast with a tap on my arm.
“Sure, we both have time,” Mindy answered, for both of us!
“MINDY!” I hissed, “I HAVE to go to the bathroom.”
I hadn’t been a girl for very long, but I knew that’s the signal between girls for when they needed to talk!
Mindy sighed and looked at my face. Seeing how serious I was, she relented.
“We’ll be right back,” Mindy said, as she followed me into the ladies’ room.
“What?” she asked.
“What??! Mindy we’re going to the movies with them!” I said incredulously.
Mindy just looked at me cluelessly like ‘Why am I making a fuss? Did I do something wrong?’
“Am I missing something here?”
I frowned and furiously said, “Mindy! When a boy brings a girl to the movies, it’s not to watch the film! IT’S TO MAKE OUT!”
“Yes, so?”
“MINDY! I-AM-NOT-A-GIRL!”
“It sure looked like it earlier when you were holding hands with your man,” Mindy giggled.
Omigod! Is she a total ditz on me now? How could she do this to me??! She promised not to hurt me! Now she is endangering my life! I’m probably going to be spending the entire night in the ER in agony!
“Mindy, This isn’t funny!” I felt tears welling up and blurring my vision. I was angry! “What the heck do you think Rex is going to do to me when he finds out about me? Huh?!!! Do you even care about me at all?”
“God Lynn, Chill!” Mindy walked over and hugged me. I sobbed just a little and let a few tears drip on her shoulder. I gripped her tightly. “He’s not going to find out! Not unless you tell him, or let him. Please… I don’t want to get kicked out of the theater because you couldn’t keep from mating with him either.”
I pushed apart from her, still beet red from my anger, and wet eyed and we both suddenly started cracking up, laughing, at that crude remark towards me. God Min… Why? Why? Why?... Just don’t let me get hurt… Please?
“Eeewwwwwwwwwwwwww,” I exclaimed. Then I bumped my hip against Mindy’s and chimed, “Bumpa! Bumpa Bumpa!”
After a few minutes and our laughter had died out, Mindy managed to say with tear streaked eyes, “We need to repair our makeup. That’s where the skills I was teaching you will come in handy. That is, unless, you want to go for the Goth look?”
“No,” I meekly said. I sat my purse on the sink counter and we both broke out our war paint.
We rejoined the guys and were soon seated in the back row of the theater.
“We’re going to get some popcorn and drinks ladies. What would you like?” Charlie asked like a true gentleman.
“Um, Sprite,” Mindy answered.
“Coke, please?” I seconded.
The guys left for the refreshments and I was still uneasy about this whole thing. I folded my arms across my chest.
“Mindy, what should I do if Rex tries to kiss me?”
“That’s up to you. If you don’t want to kiss him, turn away. But if you want it, just go for it.”
Fat lot of help she was!
“But you know it wouldn’t be right if he kissed me! I’m a boy!”
“If you say that one more time Lynn Collins, I’m going to scream!” she exasperatedly retorted. “You’re the girliest girl I know and the prettiest too! You don’t know how lucky you are! You’re beautiful, you’re nice, and you’re funny. If I was a guy, I’d want to date you! The only reason Charlie isn’t all over you is because I met him first! Everything we’re doing together is teaching you more about being a girl. Relax. Have fun! And, if Rex kisses you… then lucky you!!”
So either I’m a girl or I’m gay. Not a lot to choose from is there? Fine! I thought. One way or the other I’ll know for sure after this movie…IF I get to live through it!!!
The guys soon came back with our movie munchies and settled in beside us.
The film had started and my thoughts drifted off to what Mindy had said. Am I really a girly girl? I didn’t think I was… I glanced down at my clean shaved legs with the wedge sandals at the end. Nope! No boy there! My exposed stomach above my shorts pretty much agreed with what Mindy said to. Mindy always kept going on how naturally I was girl in behavior and yet I didn’t see how. That is how I have always been as a boy. If I really was a girl, how come I don’t feel like I am? Maybe I was a girl and just didn’t know it yet. Maybe Mindy was right. I don’t know… I guess I’ll have to drown out my thoughts with the warm buttered popcorn Rex kept offering to me.
Hmmmm… buttered popcorn! Rex’s fingers with butter… I absentmindedly imagined myself licking the butter from his fingers. Snap!
We finished the tub of popcorn between the four of us not even a third of the way through the film. As the feature continued, I began to feel chilled. The theater was kept at a comfortable temperature, if you were wearing clothes that covered most of your body! As I described before, what I was wearing only made itbarely legal to walk around outside and not be arrested! I thought if I moved closer to Rex I might feel some heat from him. After all, he was smart enough to wear something warm.
As I leaned over towards him, he put his arm around my shoulders. Mmmmm! This feels really good!He was toasty warm and it felt really good leaning into him besides! So, I did what any red blooded boy would do! I cuddled as close to him as I could get!
I don’t remember what happened next - well actually I do, but not what caused it. For some reason, I turned towards Rex to say something about the movie when - he kissed me right on the lips! My eyes sprung wide open! Eww! Eww! How could he? Ewwwwww! He’s a boy!!!!! I wanted to push him away and hurl all that popcorn we ate right into his lap! I wanted his warm, soft and inviting lips to go away from mine! I wanted the stars that I had felt explode inside my head, just like from my dream, out from being inside my head right now! I wanted this warm gushy feeling coursing throughout my body to JUST STOP!!! I wanted… I wanted… FUDGE WITH IT! I wanted more!
This was my first kiss from anyone other than my mother! Well, this one was way different from the ones Mom gave me. This one was planted directly onto my lips, inside my mouth and… omigosh! It was so much better!!! I felt a warm glow permeate my insides and bathe me in its radiance as the kiss continued. I was barely registering Rex’s tongue squirming around inside my mouth as he sucked on my lips. It was almost as if he wanted to suck me clear inside him! But it felt good! I was starting to lose consciousness from the warm loving glow radiating throughout my entire being and stars and light filling the inside of my mind. My ears were ringing. I let go! Forget being gay!!! I was a girl!
Rex broke the kiss and looked at me. “Lynn?”
I could feel myself being shaken and I was blinking my eyes but the intense light and stars and spots inside my head blinded my vision. I couldn’t see! It dawned on me our mouths were no longer connected. I didn’t feel it. I couldn’t feel my lips either! It’s like they were rubber!
“Uggga bghhh,” was all I could manage to say as the glow and light faded and the spots stopped swirling in my vision. I could see Rex staring into my face. The ringing in my ears finally left.
“Wow!!!” he exclaimed. “Lynn, are you all right?”
“Ugh huh,” I agreed, using my words wisely. My lips still weren’t working right!
“You kiss awesomely!”
I wanted to say that he had been my first! I also wanted to say that ‘yeah, that kiss shook me to my core and rocked my world!!!’ But what I wound up doing was planting my rubbery lips back onto his, and then slowly along his neck in small puckering kisses…
By the time the movie was over, my lipstick had completely vanished. Rex was wearing it very nicely!
This was one great experience for me. I have never felt so good as I did here and now.
Mindy tapped me on my arm to get my attention. “Will you please excuse us Charlie, Rex? We have to go to the bathroom.”
I didn’t respond, but I didn’t have to. She had a death grip on my hand as she pulled me along into the Ladies room.
As soon as the door closed, Mindy was all in my face!
“Just what did you think you were doing in there?!!” she yelled. She was obviously pissed. In fact, Mindy almost never yelled at all. It sort of scared me some.
“What are you talking about?” I innocently replied.
“You know very well what I’m talking about Lynn Collins! You and Rex… playing tonsil tag and feeling each other up throughout the entire movie!” she spat.
A toilet flushing interrupted us, and a girl I recognized as being a senior from our school exited a stall.
“Hi Lynn. Congratulations! I voted for you,” she smiled at me and then washed her hands. She was lingering around some touching up her makeup much slower than was necessary. She had heard Mindy scolding me and was dying to hear the rest of the conversation. Now I knew how girls spread gossip so quickly! They found it in the original chat room!
Mindy and I waited until the girl left and looked through the stalls to be sure no one else was going to hear what we were going to talk about.
“Okay, do you want to explain to me just what the heck you were doing?” Mindy demanded.
Well, I was incensed! I did not feel I owed her any explaining at all! She had practically pushed me into this prank and kept saying how I should experience things from a girl’s point of view. Well lemme tell you Mindy, I did! And I loved it! But I’m not telling you yet!
I maintained a straight face and replied, “We were just kissing.” Well, that’s technically true! We did! It’s just we did a little bit more as well…
“Just kissing? When I told you to go ahead and kiss a boy if you wanted to, I didn’t mean for it to be for the entire movie! You’re walking on thin ice, Lynn!! This whole thing is to make you feel and act like a girl, not to actually become one!” Mindy scolded.
Too late girlfriend!!! I already crossed over umpteen kisses ago!
“Mindy, when we kissed I felt like I was girl. I think I know what it feels like now. Oh Mindy… the kissing… it was wonderful!” I said, as my excitement of the kisses continued.
Mindy shook her head and then a smile crept across her lips. “So, do you still think that you're gay?”
I pursed my lips and thought for a moment. “You know, I’m still not sure! I think I need to do some more kissing to find out for sure.”
Mindy rolled her eyes.
“He is definitely cute!” I dreamily said.
“Oh-my-God Lynn! You really have become a girl, haven’t you?!!!” Mindy was eyeing me in shock.
I already knew I was a girl. I also believed now I had always been too. I think at least mentally I had been and had been acting girlishly all along. It’s just that people (myself included) had managed to fail to connect my behavior and my looks until now. Until Mindy that is. But I couldn’t tell her - not yet. I already knew how she felt responsible towards me and that news would crush her!
“No, Min. I still the same old me,” I stated matter-of-factly, grinning. I was trying to cop this off like one of my pranks.
“Thank God Lynn! You were really scaring me there for a moment. There is no need to go hog wild and get me this upset for a joke! Now let’s get back to the boys. And no more make-out sessions!” she scolded me.
“Yes Mommy. I’ll be good.”
Mindy slapped my arm and we both giggled.
We returned to the boys out in the lobby to say goodbye and thank them for a great afternoon. The afternoon had really gone on longer than Mindy and I realized and we both knew that her mother was going to have a fit.
“Thank you so much Charlie for this fun afternoon. I really enjoyed it! But we do have to be going,” Mindy said as she gently took Charlie’s hands in her. I watched that move and stored it away for future reference!
“That’s Cool. The pleasure was mine. Oh, hey-Mindy…before I forget like last time, may I have your phone number? Please?”
Mindy had that boy hooked: pole-line-and sinker!
“Sure!” Mindy replied and wrote her number on a small piece of paper and then handed it to him.
Rex turned toward me, and a small smile crept across his face.
“Umm, could I have your number too?” he asked timidly.
Wow! Rex actually wants my number! This was delicious! Yeah…well… hmmm. I began to ponder whether that was such a good idea or not. I could just imagine my mother answering the phone and being asked to speak to her daughter. No, that was not going to work! I knew in my heart that it would be best if this little charade ended now. It was fun, but seriously dangerous! It was my first kiss, but that was beside the point. I had to be strong!
Rex took that moment of indecision and decided to kiss me again, gently with some rippling of his tongue along my lips. I was stuffing my number into his pocket while he was still kissing me.
The bus ride back to Mindy’s was filled with our conversation and excitement of the day. Mindy might have scolded me for my behavior, but hers wasn’t much better! She even admitted to touching tongues! Ewwwwwww — unless it was Rex’s!
Mindy’s mom was waiting on the porch when we reached her house.
“Mindy,” she sternly spoke, “What kind of hour is this to be coming home? You know all I ask is for a call! Who’s this?” she asked when she noticed me standing next to Mindy.
“Oh, this is Lyn-da. She’s new at school and I was helping her to meet new friends,” Mindy explained.
I was still waiting for the needle to drop. Mindy’s mom has seen me for years and knew me like her own daughter. Yet, here I was, standing right in front of her, albeit dressed as a girl, in the fading sunset on her lawn, and yet, she doesn’t recognize me. Wow! Simply wow!
“That’s still no excuse for coming home late. I’m sure Linda’s mother must be worrying where she is too.”
“Her mom’s still at work, so she won’t be in trouble.”
Mindy's mother replied, “But you will be young lady if you do this again. Well go upstairs and change, dinner’s almost ready. And have Linda call her mom to let her know she is on the way home now”
Mindy dragged me to her room where she helped me change back to being a boy again.
“I still can’t believe your mom didn’t recognize me. I was trying to think up what excuse to use for that. Thank God I didn’t have to.” I said.
“I told you no one would, now do you believe me? You’re just too beautiful! I’ll bet your own mother wouldn’t recognize you.”
“Likely chance,” I snorted. I knew my Mom would somehow know it was me. I just knew. My mom has this Mom-radar sense and knows everything I do and where I go!
As I slipped my T-shirt back on, I proceeded to look in Mindy’s mirror and remove all traces of the makeup.
“I had so much fun today. Mindy, what do you think of Rex?”
“He’s cute, maybe cuter than Charlie. You two looked so nice together.”
“You’re still not mad at me for kissing him are you?” I questioned as I started to tie my ponytail back down.
“Of course not! You’re my best friend.”
“Good. I don’t want anything to come between us.”
We both hugged one another and I said my goodbye. I snuck down the stairs, carefully checking to see if Mindy’s mom was in viewing distance of the lower stairs and the front door. Good! She wasn’t! I opened the front door.
“Thank you Mrs. Swanson, It was nice meeting you,” I slightly yelled.
“Walk home safely!” I heard her from the living room. I closed the door fast and dashed down the sidewalk zigzagging through the yards just in case Mindy’s mother tried to see me.
I walked home and try as I may, I couldn’t make that damned sway leave my hips! I would walk two or three steps like a boy, but then my walking resumed going right back to being a girl. It was everything I could do to make it in my house without giving myself away.
“Hi baby! Did you and Mindy finish your project?” she asked.
Mom was giving me another weird look. Oh no! She knows! Not the ‘You’re in big trouble’ look. It was more like the ‘I Know what you did’ look. Fudge!!!!!!
I hadn’t so much as twitched my hips, so I knew it wasn’t that. She just stared at me. I was starting to sweat. I knew I was careful in removing my makeup - so that couldn’t be the problem either. Oh my God — she really knows! She knows her little girl had made out with a boy!!!!
“Um, yes. Is there something wrong?” I squeaked as my strength of will was slowly dissipating under Mom’s intense gaze.
“No dear. There seems to be something different about you but I just can’t to seem to put my finger on it. You seem like a different person. Maybe it’s the curl on your ponytail?”
“Oh that!” I broke a sweat and quickly came up with, “Mindy was just playing around with her new curling iron on me.”
“Okay, but it’s not just that. It seems to me like you have a glow about you.”
“A glow?”
“You remind me of when I was young and had found the latest love of my life. There’s just some sort of glow a young woman gets when she’s in love.”
Oh gosh! I have to get her off of my trail!
“Mom, I’m not a girl.”I spoke more quietly, showing a sadness, “And I’m not in love. I’ll go to my room now. Ok?”
My mom released the tension she had shown a moment before and ruffled my hair.
“Ok sweety."
I made it to my room and shut the door. I just couldn’t believe how observant my mother was!!! I was just about busted! All I had missed was a tiny curl and she almost found out about Rex! I hope this thing is over soon! I really hate making up excuses, especially to my mother. I love her too much to lie to her. And I hated these excuses so much… This needs to stop before I make any more mistakes.
I was lost in thought and was brought back to reality by the ringing of the telephone. Snap! If mom answers it… and it’s Rex… I’m soooo dead!
I opened my door and hollered, “I’ll get it Mom!” I rushed like a scared rabbit and just grabbed the receiver on the 5th ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi Lynn! It’s me, Rex, from this afternoon?”
Oh God! Oh God! It was Rex!! My stomach was doing flip-flops as I thought about our making out in the theater earlier.
“Hi Rex, “I purred in my most girlish sexy voice, “I was just thinking about you!”
Fortunately, our phone was wireless so I dashed back to my room with it. I didn’t see my mother looking at me as I had run back. I missed seeing the most quizzical look on her face.
I leaped onto my bed and grabbed my pillow and hugged it to my chest as I was laying down on my stomach on the bed, rocking and banging my legs back and forth up in the air. I was definitely going to have to get a Teddy Bear soon, but the pillow would have to do for now!
“I was thinking about you too. I had a lot of fun today,” he said. I could almost feel his smile through the handset.
“Mmm, mmm. Me too,” I answered dreamily and hugged the pillow tighter.
“When can I see you again?”
That was definitely a good question! I’d like to know that answer too! This was getting very complicated. I wanted to see Rex again, but I seriously doubted that my mother would allow her son to date the hunk on the other end of this phone!
“I don’t know Rex. My mother says I’m too young to date,” I answered. My sadness showed itself plainly in my voice.
“Maybe if I talk to her, she might let you go out with me?” he suggested.
Snap! That’s just all that I would need! Mom, my boyfriend Rex wants to talk to you about dating me I thought as a shiver went down my spine.
“I don’t think that would be a very good idea right now Rex. If she knew I had been to the movies with you, I’d be grounded until next year!”
“Oh, okay. Maybe we can meet at the mall again sometime?” he asked hopefully.
“I’d like that. Call me again in a couple of weeks and we’ll arrange it.” I answered.
“Lllyyynn! It’s late! Tell whoever it is on the phone you’ll have to call them tomorrow,” my mother shouted.
“I have to go,” I urgently said.
“Yeah, I heard. See you soon?”
“Call me tomorrow,” I found my mouth saying. I think my brain was actually trying to get me killed!
“I will. Good night.” Rex said. After a click, the line went dead.
In a daze, I made my way back downstairs to get a Coke from the fridge.
“Who was that?” Mom asked.
“Just a friend from school,” I replied.
“Well, please tell your friends not to call so late,” Mom admonished.
“Yes Ma’m.”
I walked back upstairs with Rex on my mind and a coke in my hand. Unfortunately, he was having an incredible effect on me that I didn’t expect. He solidified me into Lynn the girl and my walk proved it! It’s amazing at what just what one kiss can do! My hips were swaying some and my arms were turned up and out. My clothes may have been a boy’s, but the girl wearing them was showing that clothes didn’t make the girl, the girl inside did!
“Lynn, what in the world are you doing? I asked you before to not walk that way, you almost act like a girl. I hope you don’t do that at school,” Mom said in disgust.
I felt my face immediately go red with shame and fear gripped me. I had been living as Lynn the girl so much during the last few days that I had become unconsciously her in every move and action. Trying to act like a boy was starting to look like it was going to be really hard work! Even more disturbing was that Rex had made me act this way! How could I explain that to my mother - ‘I’m sorry mom, I was thinking about my dreamy boyfriend and it just happened, I hope you don’t mind?’ I was definitely going to have to be more careful or this whole Princess thing was going to blow up in my face!
I turned around and gave a devilish grin “Gotcha!” I half-heartedly laughed hoping that she would think I was pulling her leg.
“You and your pranks. Someday you’re going to get in over your head and you’ll be sorry you ever started pranking people.”
Somehow, I sensed Mom was not buying this, but she had no proof otherwise to nail me yet. Whew!
“I’m sorry Mommy. I’m going to go to bed now. Good night.”
“Goodnight sweetheart.”
Mommy, if you only knew what a simple prank has already done to me right now.
To Be Continued...
Comments
great
its very good
I'm enchanted!
Geez, totally makes me want to kiss Rex!
Keep em coming!
The Story Is Great! Why Not?
Enter it into the Summer Romance Contest? Or is a revised inelgible? I like the pic. Is that suppossed to be Ltnn> Whoever, it's of, a very cute pic.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
No, Stan...
It's not eligible. Even if you pushed things to the point of claiming that it's a new story, it shares characters with the old version, which isn't allowed. Furthermore, it started on June 9 and contest entries had to be posted June 12 or later.
Eric
Keep the story going
This story is developing nicely, but now Lynn needs to take the next step and take some hormones to begin developing into the girl she should be.
I find it hard to believe
I find it hard to believe that nobody at school that knows Lynn is a boy (there have to be some) has spread the word. Why it's not all over school, I don't know.
Other than that, I like the story, and look forward to more chapters.
Editor's note: Miranda
Miranda, your concern has actually been addressed inside the next part and sprinkled throughout the next 2 books. I cannot exactly say why or how to you yet because that would spoil the story for you. But rest assured Arecee did take that into account.
Sephrena Lynn Miller
BigCloset TopShelf
TGLibrary.com
Yes, That's the One Thing...
...I've been waiting on here in the rewrite. After all, Lynn is on the school water polo team. (And since he's a freshman, he must be on the team now, not in a past season, though since there's been no mention of practice or games it's a bit tough to see where and how that fits. Also, Arecee said in a comment that it's the reason Lynn's not in a physical ed class this semester.) Not only is that a sport that pretty much requires a postgame change of clothes, it's also one that virtually demands form-fitting swim trunks; Lynn mentioned his short Speedo suit back in Part One.
So there ARE people in school who know beyond a reasonable doubt that his body looks male. They're keeping quiet, and if the story goes according to past form they'll continue to do so. But I'm looking forward to finding out why.
Eric
Sooner or later...
Lynn is going to have to come face to face with her mother, and explain everything in detail, including her feelings about being the girl she really is. Gay my foot, Lynn is all girl inside, and needs a slight physical corection to make it all the way. The journey to womanhood is definitely one full of discovery, pain, joy, fear, happiness, fun, caution. But yet through all of these things Lynn will emerge from her cocoon as the beautifull butterfly she is deep inside.
I am waiting to see how Lynn's mother will really react when she discovers she has a daughter instead of a son. This is another good chapter, and I hope that Lynn has no regrets after her mother finds out what happened at school, and what she has been doing outside of school. Wouldn't a naturally, over-protective mother call the school with her concerns? I am waiting to find out.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
I am getting a feeling that
I am getting a feeling that Lynn, the girl, is here to stay and the kids at school will actually believe she was a girl all along; but just being a real tomboy. Lynn's Mom will be made aware of her daughter shortly because I think the school is going to ask her to chaperone the homecoming dance due to her daughter being a homecoming princess. J-Lynn
Mom is getting ever closer
Mom is getting ever closer to finding out about Lynn's big secret, The big question though is how will she react when she finds out her son's wishes... will she accept Lynn for who she is or will it all end in tears?...i just can't wait to find out!!!
Kirri
SUPER Rewrite
ARECEE; I only have one thing I can say! Super Rewrite and much better then the Original, Love IT! And looking foreward to more of it! Richard
Richard
Great story
I didn't read the story in its original version, so it's new to me. I am enjoying it very much - it's funny, but it also goes very much into the mind of a girl. My only issue is I think Lynn could have been a year or two older, but then I guess girls seem to be developing at a younger and younger age. I still think a 14 year old wearing Victoria's Secret lingerie seems a bit unusual.
Victoria's Secret
My daughter shopped at Victoria's Secret when she was in high school.