The Floral Tales –J Morose 2009

Introduction

This story is based on a real club that existed in Southport, England in the 80's and early 90's. The events and characters are entirely fictional.

This story contains political incorrectness, intolerance,swearing, sexual references and the usual vernacular references as made by teenagers when their parents are out of earshot. If you want a Disney piece, this is not for you.

The story centres around two teenage boys, their girlfriends and their underage exploits when attending the local rock club.

It is my first attempt at writing this type of story, normally its more verse, song or functional design specifications! (Although it might be an idea to write a Spec. out for what I would like to be)....

Lastly, let me know if you are interested in me posting the next bit.

May the blessings of the day be upon you and yours – J

---

 

Part 1 - Foundations

 
 

Friday night – Kev's house

 
 

The dulcit tones of Motorhead blasted out from the stereo, a long haired adolescent was leaping about the room mumbling along to the song. The lad was Kevin, 17 years young, long hair, thin build, ripped jeans, your typical heavy metal nut.

“Kevin!”, the voice shrieked “Phone!”

“Shite” Kev exclaimed “Coming!”.

Getting disturbed when trying to listen to music always annoyed Kev. It was usually synonymous with lectures about appearances, future job prospects and attitude.

Kev lifted the tonearm of his record deck and made his way downstairs. His Mum was waiting in the hall, phone in hand, the usual look of disapproval on her face.

“It's Anthony”.

“Thanks mum”. Kev grabbed the reciever.

'Why couldn't we have one of those fancy cordless phones instead of an old rotary dial phone in the hall. ' Kev mused.

“Hi Wanger, hows it hanging?” Kev inquired.

“Straight down man, straight down!”

“Yeah, me too! Whatsup?”

“wanna pop round, gottan idea for the Floral”.

Tony was of course referring to the local Rock Night, called 'The Floral' due to the venue, the Floral Hall Theatre and Conference Centre.

“Cool, seeya in 5”.

“Seeya”.

Kev put the phone down.

“Mum, going out, back in a bit, seeya”.

Kev bolted to his room, located his boots (no self respecting rocker wears shoes or trainers), threw on his jacket and turned off the stereo. He then bolted back downstairs and through the front door.

“Don't be too late” His mum said. “Do you hear kevin”. By this time he was out of the door and almost to the street.

Wanger only lived round the corner, quicker to walk than use the bike.

 
 

Friday night – Wanger's house.

 
 

It was 10 minutes later when he reached his friends house, cleared the 'be nice to mate's mother' level and gained entry to his room.

“Hey Wanger,” he said “Hows it hanging?”

“Straight down man.”

Wanger was a half Oriental lad who Kev had been friends with about 5 years when they met on the bus after seeing each other get the bus to school. Both being the social inepts that they were and still are, it took about 3 months of meeting at the bus stop each day for them to talk to each other. Especially as they went to schools that were rivals.

“Grammy” (kev's nickname), “Gotta really cool idea for the Floral tomorrow”

“You said that.” Kev replied. “Do ya know what night it is tomorrow?”

“Yup. Doctors and Nurses” Wanger replied. “Wanna do it?”

“We go every week man. Whaddya mean?”

“Gettin with the spirit of the thing man, you know.”

It suddenly dawned on Kev what was meant. The Floral had a theme night once a month. Sometimes it was Saint Trinians, sometimes Vicars and Tarts. Hell, they even had a Christmas Eve rehearsal in June. Of course there were the usual selection of people that dressed according to the event.

“Might do” was Kev's response. “Dunno if I can find owt to wear though”.

This was Kev's usual stock response. He was a metaller, a rocker and a consummate one at that. The usual garb consisting of black jeans, band t-shirt and jacket. He did not deviate from this much, even when going places with his parents, although he usually consented to wear unripped clothes more in fear of the wrath of Mum rather than any concession to decency.

“Well, if you can find summat, I've got a labcoat I can throw on.” Said Wanger

“Fair enough, but I'm coming here first just to make sure I'm not going on me own like this. If the trendies see us we'll get battered”.

“Its cool man. Me dad'll take us.”

“Cool!”.

“It's settled then.” They both grinned. “Are you ready to ROCK!”

The rest of the evening was spent listening to tapes whilst trying to beat ulitma 4 on Wanger's Amiga. They had been playing the same saved game for about 6 weeks now and had just discovered the dungeons.

 
 

Saturday morning – Anya's house

 
 

“Anya! Phone”

Anya was Kev's girlfriend. His first girlfriend. They had been going out for about a year after they met leaving the Floral. Anya was a large girl, with really long hair, gothic dress sense and the sort of smile that made Kev think that the sun rose from her lips.

“Kev?” she inquired.

“Hiya Anya, you ok?” Kev replied.

“Yes. You?”

“Cool. Going tonight?”

“Yes”. Anya was starting to get excited. Kev was not good with conversation usually, but made up for it in other ways.

“Wanna meet up first?” Kev asked. “also, gotta ask a favour..”

“What?” She was intrigued now. Kev usually did not ask for anything other than to meet up on the phone.

“Well, you know the Floral?”

“Yes..” Anya was getting curious.

“Well you know they sometimes have themes..”

“Yes”

“Well, Wanger had this idea...”

“Yes”

“and you know what it is....”

“Yes, it's doctors and nurses isn't it. That means they will play music with a medical theme dunnit.” Anya was getting a little impatient.

“Well this idea of Wanger's..”

“Yes. Look, just get it out Kev”

“What! Me mums in Anya!”

“No Kev.” Anya was getting a more impatient and it was starting to show in her voice. “What did Tony suggest?”

“He said we should dress up like. I was wandering if you had a lab coat or summat I could wear”

The cog wheels of Anya's mind started to whirl. Then she smiled. Then she grinned.

“Sure I can sort that kev. Can you come round here this afternoon, say after 3ish. Helping me dad out this morning. Tony can come too. I'll ask Freya to join us”.

“Cool. Give us chance to get ready. Maybe we can even set Wanger and Freya up”.

Freya was Anya's best friend. A small thin Icelandic girl whose parents moved here many years ago. She was single and had a lilting musical voice. She was also very good at flirting and would probably spend the entire night flirting with all and sundry before getting her dad to collect her before any end of night awkwardness could ensue.

“Won't work. Not her type”.

“Fair dos” Kev laughed. Wanger was like Kev in a way, not very good with girls. It was Anya doing the chasing when they met and Kev's dad who gave him a push when she called round that fateful sunday.

“Gotta go – love ya”

“Love ya, seeya”

“Seeya”.

Anya put the phone down and grinned. This would take a little planning, but it would be way cool. She headed off to her room to get her diary....

 
 

Saturday morning – wanger's house

 
 

“Wanger, how’s it hanging?” Kev said as he entered his friend's bedroom.

“Little to the left, you know, mornings.”

“Fair dos.”. Both Kev and Wanger were not morning people. “I'm like Robinson Crusoe meself..”

“Yeah, buggered by friday!”. Buggered in this sense is colloquial, referring to being really tired. Kev and Wanger tended to converse a lot in like a secret language at times, using half phrases where the meaning was implied.

“So, the Floral tonight, called Anya..”

“And..”

“She said she'll sort summat for me to wear. She wants us to come over later and she'll sort me out with summat to wear”.

“Eh?” Wanger inquired. “What's it then?”.

“Asked for a labcoat, thought she might have one”.

“Better watch it, sometimes she has no sense. When's cool?”

“3ish, Better do the bus though, Not be fit for me bike after the Floral.”

“Ok, better tell me mam or she'll go Vesuvius on me if she makes me tea and I'm not in”.

 
 

Wanger headed out, flipping the play button on the fancy new fangled CD player his Dad bought him, Iron Maiden's 'Bring your daughter to the slaughter' belted out and kev indulged in a spot of sit-moshing, sat on the edge of the bed furtively bobbing his head to the music, to all intents and purposes lost in the dream of being an air guitar rockstar.

-

“You've taken too many hits..” wanger exclaimed.

“Nah ya mong, its part of the strategy...”

They were both still in the bedroom, this time continuing their never ending Ultima marathon. Lively banter firing between them for the past few hours.

“I hope you don't get to many hit points tonight spacker. You know Anya's weird dress sense..”

Anya was a goth, not your new emo / cybergoth types but an honest to goodness dress in black, Egyptian eye makeup Siouxie type goth.

“Whaddya mean? I think she looks right fit in all that Morticia getup, right gothy”.

“You’re weird man”.

“I'll show you weird..” Kev produced a tape, flipped it into the tape player and proceeded to prance around the room to the Metal version of the 'Shake and vac' advert. (By Snuff off the album Flibbertydibbertydob if you’re interested).

“See.... wierd” Wanger grimaced. “Anyhow, its getting close to the hour of scarpering, got everything”.

“Yup, testicles, spectacles, wallet and watch.” Reference to 'Nuns on the run”, whereby Robbie Coltrane dressed as a nun to escape the Mob.

“Cool, retsugo.” Wanger did his best Anime hero accent.

 
 

Saturday 3.04 - Outside Anya's house

 
 

Wanger and Kev knocked on the door of the nondescript house that was Anya's parents. The door was soon flung open and there stood Anya and Freya.

“come in guys”, Anya said.

“Hiya Anya” said kev, rushing up to her and grabbing a quick kiss.

“Hiya Anya, Freya,” said Wanger, “Put him down you don't know where he's been”.

“Fraid I do Tony”, replied Anya, “probably at yours glued to that computer of yours. Sometimes I think you two are more in love with it than me...”

“Hiya kev, Tony” said Freya. Freya can be a little bubbly at times and it was obvious she was all excitable by the way she was jigging about.

“Freya, whats got into you?” said wanger, “Someone put summat into your knickers again?” He referred to an unfortunate incident she had with her younger brother a few years ago.

“No, just looking forward to tonight” she said, “Gonna be a good one”.

“Hope so” sad Kev. “We coming in then?”

They went up to Anya's room. It should be mentioned at this point that Anya's room was a little odd. It was a bit like a cross between a little girl's room and the boudoir of the bride of Dracula. Anya was well into the gothy thing and also a little into the new age pagan occulty thing that seems to attract goths like dog muck attracts flies.

“take a seat lads”, said anya.

They all perched on the end of the bed. Kev took the initiative.

“You got me stuff then love?” He inquired. “Wanger's got his in his bag”

Wanger proceeded to produce what once in a former existence could be described as a labcoat. It had “Iron Maiden” written across the back in black marker and the lapels at the front were covered with at least a dozen pin badges of various bands.

“Cool huh” Wanger beamed.

“If you say so” said anya, “Wait 'till ya see what we've got for Kev!”

You could feel the enthusiasm radiating from Anya, who was not a proper goth by virtue of her cheerful demeanour. It was always Kev's impression that happy goths are a bit of an oxymoron, like the careful biker or the pacifist trendy. (Trendy was the word used at the time to desribe those who listened to chart music, dressed in the non-descript baggy wear of the time and when not threatening metallers, goths, gays, anyone who was different, spent their time gyrating inanely to some repetitive electro rubbish that sounded like car alarms.)

“Where is it then?” inquired Kev, quite intrigued, “hope its not daft like Wangers”.

“Who you calling daft?” Said Wanger.

“You, ya mong”

“Spacker! Mines well cool, wore it at school and everything, right rock”.

“Yeah, well cool, kinda like...”, the sarcasm started to creep out.

“First let's do some readings”, interrupted freya, trying to prevent the usual 20 minutes of banter that exhausted the lad's repetoire of expletives, insults and innundos. “Anya, got ya cards about”

“Me Rider Waite is here somewhere”. Anya reached into a drawer and produced a card shaped bundle wrapped in, you guessed it, purple velvet cloth, which she proceeded to unwrap, liberating a Tarot deck.

“We'll do Kev first, here, shuffle these”, she passed the cards to Kev, who shuffled them with a practised ease, due mainly to the fact that he spent most of his early childhood playing card games with his grandparents, who were card game nuts.

Anya then took the cards and spread the top ten or so out on the floor in front of her. She then studied the cards..

“let me guess, gonna get stuck behind a tractor on me way back from college, tuesday afternoon at 16:36?” joked kev.

Anya glared. He always made fun of this, just because he could. Anya knew that he sometimes spent time sat in the pub shuffling cards and nursing a half pint. When people asked about having a reading, he would often use the excuse that he became more psychic, the more he has to drink. A free night out he used to call it. Bloody heathen.

“Halfwit” mumbled Freya “Good job you’re not in Iceland, we take the spirit world seriously there”

“Yeah, right” joked Kev.

“Just let her do it mong, ya gonna make her gurn if you keep on taking the piss”, said Wanger, referring of course to the time honoured Cumbrian pastime of trying to pull the ugliest face possible. There was even a world championship!

“Right Kev, your cards...” Anya looked focussed. “In your past, the 2 of Cups, thats meeting me that is...”

“Yeah, the love thing, right?” said Kev. Wanger giggled.

“In the present, the Fool, starting on a new path in life, a beginning”, continued Anya.

“Yeah, a proper idiot” sniggered Wanger. Freya elbowed him in the ribs.

“Above you, The Ace of Wands, starting some new endeavour. Beneath you, the ....”

 
 

Anya snatched up the cards. “Lets forget about it for now.” Her worried look could not be hidden behind that smile.

“What!” Kev said.

“Don't worry about it”.

“Well, you are..”

“Never mind. Anyway, “ Anya smiled at Freya, “It's time to get you two ready.”

Freya added quickly, “I'll take Tony down to the kitchen for an hour or so, you get Kev ready”. Freya had this cheeky grin on her face, making Kev wonder what he had let himself in for.

“Man, you should run now...” interjected Wanger.

“Why!” Kev was not worried. Usually time alone with Anya at the very least meant lots of snogging, sometimes even a quick feel. He did not want to let Wanger spoil his fun. “Bugger off ya mong”.

“Don't tell me later I didn't warn ya...” said wanger, as he was led out of the room by Freya.

Anya shut the door. “Right Kev, me and Frey had this brilliant idea that would be so cool......” She turned to face him, big grin on her face.

Saturday 4:00pm – Anya's kitchen

“Freya, whats the deal with Grammy? Why all the secrecy?”

“You'll just have to wait and see Tony.” responded Freya.

'Damn, she was fit' thought wanger. “You and me, we'll just have to give Anya some time. In the meantime, shall we get a brew and put on some vids?” Freya was not giving anything away at this point.

“Sure, but not one of your weepy shit videos, summat cool....”

“I think we'll manage..” Freya said

Saturday 4:10 – Anya's bedroom

“You want me to wear WHAT!” shouted Kev.

“Calm down Kev, there'll be plenty of guys doing it, you'll not be the only one”, Anya pleaded. Kev was usually a little boisterous, but Anya knew that in fact he was shy qnd quiet underneath. As though his usual ways were just an act, to be a blokey bloke.

“well...” Kev conceded, “At that St Trinians night there were about a dozen blokes in schoolgirl outfits...”

“See, it won't be that bad”

“So why do I have to shave meself then?” Kev had gone quiet.

“Because, sexy, it is better to do things right.” Anya replied. “Anyway, I have been known to find blokes in dresses a bit of a turn on.”

“Huh! You mean you prefer girls...”

“No, stupid. I love you. Do this for me and there might even be summat in it for you.” Anya said coyly.

“Whaddya mean”. Kev's mood suddenly perked up at this point.

“Wait and see lover” said Anya. She reached into her bedside drawer and fished out a condom.

Kev, all enthusiastic said “I understand. I'll do it for you”

“Cool”

“So where did you get the Nurses uniform from then?”

Anya got back into business mode. “You know me Sarah, me mate from school?”

“Which ones that then?”

“You know. You met her when we went to town last month.”

Kev didn't remember. He met many people whom Anya knew while out with her, which was strange considering the amount of people he considered friends could be counted on one hand. Kev never was much good at meeting new people.

“Well her sister is a nurse and she had some old stuff from when she was training and I asked and she let me have a uniform and stuff”

“Did you tell her what it was for?” inquired Kev.

“Yup, said it was for me boyfriend! She thought I was gonna wear it for you!” Anya giggled at this.

“Anyway, to the bathroom with you, and take this and this.” She handed him a bathrobe and a razor.

Kev skulked off to the bathroom. Anya's house had a couple of bathrooms, but the one closest to her room was considered hers, as her parents had an en suite bathroom.

Anya's kitchen – saturday, 4:30pm

“So Freya, whats the big secret with Kev and Anya then?”

“Can't say” she replied, “Wait and see.” She pressed play on the remote. She thought that this shold distract him for a while.

“Cool, Bad News...” Bad News was a spoof Heavy Metal band made of comedians who played really badly. So bad in fact it was hilarious.

They both settled in for the video. Meanwhile....

 
 

Anya's Bathroom Saturday 4:45pm

 
 

Kev got out of the shower and shaved his face. He didn't shave regularly, in fact he thought that bathing more than once a week was an extravagance he did not need to subject himself to. The only exception to this was when he was meeting Anya.

He was trying to figure out the leg shaving business. She had told him to shave his legs and arms, something he had never done before. So he sat on the edge of the bath and soaped up his legs and started to shave. It took a while just to do the lower legs. This went ok apart from the clogging of the razor every stroke. Then came the knees. How the hell was he going to do these? Front wasn't so bad but the back!

Bugger it, he'd leave that until later. He did his upper legs then stood and tried to work out the back of the knee. He bent round and promptly fell over into the bath.

“Bastard!”

“You OK in there?” Anya queried with an honest edge of concern after hearing the thump.

“Be OK. I just hope I don't have to do this again” Kev replied.

“OK, Be in me room when you’re done”.

Kev got up and had another go.

“bastard, shit, bugger, wank, arse!”

“Now what!” anya said.

“Cut me bloody leg!” exclaimed kev.

“You'll live” She laughed. “Now you know what us girls have to put up with to look good for you lads!”

“Never gonna complain about waiting for you to get ready again.”

“Never say never!” said Anya.

Kev rinsed off and started on his arms. This was actually easier.

He slipped on the bathrobe when finished and left the bathroom, his legs feeling somewhat colder than usual. He thought its probably the lack of hair.

Anya's bedroom – 5:10pm

“I see you managed it then?” Anya said.

Kev already felt a bit silly, what with the pink fluffy bathrobe and his newly bald legs. Whatever next....

“Come here love” Kev seemed a bit sullen. He made his way over to Anya and sat on the bed. She rubbed his legs. “Mmm, nice!”

She kissed him and he responded. He was coming around to the idea if it brought this sort of attention on him.

Anya pulled away and said “Right, next bit, hold out your hands.”

“No! Not nail polish. I'm not glam or a goth!”

“And whats wrong with goths!” Anya said indignantly.

“Ummm, nowt!” Kev realised that he was onto a loser with this. The overriding urge to spend some naked time with Anya overriding his judgement. He did not want to blow it. He proffered his hands.

A little later he was sporting neatly trimmed nails and bright red polish on them.

She then got on the bed behind him and started to play with his hair. Kev's hair it should be said were his one redeeming feature, even his mother said that girls would be jealous of his hair. It was brown, a few inches below shoulder length all the way round and no fringe. He did not plan on it being like that, he just stopped having it cut when he as 15.

“Don't wriggle, I'm not going to do owt permanent with it” Anya said, but it did not bother him, he found it quite calming her playing with his hair.

A few minutes later, he ended up with his hair in a pony tail. Nothing unusual there, as he wore it that way at work. What he did not realise that there was a big bow tying his hair back in red ribbon.

“Ok, I'm gonna do your face, as I want to surprise you, I have covered the mirror on me dresser. Ok?”

Well in for a penny, in for a pound. “OK..”

Anya's kitchen – Saturday 5:30PM

“So what's going on with Grammy then?”

Freya was getting a little pissed with Wanger asking this every few minutes.

“You'll just have to wait and see.” she snapped.

“Hey, no need to sulk Frey”, wanger retorted. “Just wanna see what all the fuss is about...”

“Well, wait.” She was starting too calm down a bit, knowing what Anya had in mind. She grinned impishly, “It'll be cool.”

They resumed watching, possibly the worlds worst version of Bohemian Rhapsody was being played and Wanger decided that he would catawaul along with it.

Anya's Bedroom – Saturday 5:40PM

“Ok, done with the makeup, ready for the next bit”, Anya inquired, trying to suppress a giggle whilst doing so.

“What have you done?” Kev was curious, he made motions to stand, but Anya pushed him down and squatted down beside him.

“Nuther surprise”, she said, “Blindfold for this, don't want to ruin the surprise..”

She went over to the wardrobe and opened it. Inside was like a shrine to goth, an ocean of black and violet cloth. She reached in and pulled out a headscarf, black of course.

“Why? Don't you want me to se how daft I look?” said Kev.

“Don't be so soft!”

“Not being soft, feel like a big girl's blouse”.

Anya, familiar with the generic Cumbrian insult to manhood which had been handed to Kev when he was younger, paid little attention.

“Bollocks, 'scuse the French”.

“The French would say merde you twit, that was Anglo-saxon” Anya retorted. “C'mere you”.

She walked toward him as he stood up. He bent to give her a kiss.

“Wait 'till later, you'll spoil yer face”.

“Huh! Ok.” Kev said. “Do yer worst, but I'm gonna end up like Frankenstien's sister!”

“Will you buggery!”, she retorted, using one of Kev's oft used sayings againt him.

“Ok then.”

She put on the blindfold. He could not see much, just make out light and dark.

“Right, going for it.” There was sounds of much rummaging in the wardrobe.

A little later, Kev was stood in the centre of the room wearing stockings, suspenders, a waistclincher and an empty bra. He was a little disorientated, the only time the blindfold was lifted was when she, as Kev would put it, 'painted around his eyes with crayons'. Even then, all he really saw was a close-up of Anya's face and the pointy end of whatever she was daubing on him.

“Right, gotta pull this a little tighter”.

Kev was starting to get a little excited by this, ableit feeling somewhat silly. The feel of the clothes were totally different to when he was feeling them on somebody else. His excitement was starting to become apparent.

Anya started to heave on the strings to the rear of the waistclincher. After a minute or so she seemed satisfied, albeit out of breath.

“How's that?” she inquired.

“Allright,” said Kev quietly, “Wanna give us a hug?”

kev was feeling strange. On one hand he was sure he looked like a right nancy-boy, but on the other hand the clothes didn't feel wrong.

“Nope, gotta wait 'till I'm done”. Anya was determined to finish. She produced the light blue nurses outfit.

“Lift you leg,”, she placed the dress on the floor, feeding it under his foot. “Now the other one.......Good”.

She pulled it up and had him thread his arms through the armholes.Before buttoning it up, she screwed up some cloth and stuffed it into his bra. Rummaging around until it ws approximately breast-shaped, she then fastened the dress.

“Right, last but not least, the shoes. You’re still a size 9?”

“Yup.”

“Borrowed these from big Kath.” Big Kath was another friend of Anya's. She was six foot in stocking feet.

Anya produced a pair of shoes that would befit a massive schoolgirl. Black, round toes and small heel. She had him lift his feet up one at a time and put them on him.

When finished, she stepped back, whipped out a camera and took a photo.

Kev saw the flash and immediately removed the blindfold.

“What y doin'”, he said, “gettin evidence of me looking a right twat?”

“Evidence, yes.” She replied, “You don't look half bad though”

“That mean I don't look half good either”, he retorted.

“See for yerself then”,

She whipped off the cloth covering the dresser mirror.

“What the shuddering fuck!” He bellowed!

In the mirror staring back at him was a girl. Was that me he thought? Nope, definitely a girl, a tall girl but definitely a girl.

“What the fuck!” he repeated.

“That's you that is” said Anya grinning, trying not to laugh out loud at Kev's reaction.

Kev turned this way and that, eyeing himself in the mirror.

“Bollocks! Look like a girl!”

“That was sort of the whole idea.” giggled Anya.

She returned to the wardrobe and started pulling stuff out.

“My turn, can you wait downstairs?” she said.

“No way am I going anywhere looking like this!” he said.

Anya thought for a moment before replying. “You'll have to, I've locked yer other clothes away, 'part from yer jacket”.

“Fer fucks sake”.

“Yes, stay like that and thats exactly what will happen, now scoot!”

Anya ushered him out of the room.

Anya's kitchen, 6:15PM

Wanger and Freya turned toward the kitchen door after hearing footsteps on the staircase. Freya rushed out of her seat and went to the door, looking up the stairs at kev.

“Woo, sexy!” she squealed. Kev went bright red.

Kev looked a bit sullen.

“Tony, come and look!” Squealed Freya, “Anya's pulled a blinder!”

“Bugger off!” sulked Kev.

Wanger put his head around the door. “What the fuck! What the actual fuck!”

“Don't say owt, I was set up!” said Kev.

“What the fuck!”

“You look lovely, quite fetching actually!” said Freya.

“Bugger!” sulked Kev.

“And that's what you'll get if ya go to that gay club dressed like that!” quipped Wanger.

“Oh, fer fucks sake Wanger”, retorted Kev, “I'm already feeling like a bit of a big girl's blouse as it is, next time it's your go..”

“Not bloody likely!”

“I dunno”, said Freya, “Geisha chic. I'm sure Anya has stll got that kimono..”

Wanger was non-plussed by this. “Hey! Let make fun of the chink again..”

“Not making fun”, replied Freya.

“'Least you’re not going out tonight looking like bride of Frankenstein” interjected Kev.

“You look far from the mate”, said wanger. “You look almost like a real'un. Least nobody'll ID you”.

Freya started to go upstairs. “Gonna go and get ready now. Tony, you should do the same. Then we'll head off out 7ish.”

With that she disappeared up the stairs.

Anya's Bedroom – saturday 6:26PM

“Hiya, you decent?” said Freya from the hallway.

“No, but come in anyway”.

Anya was getting dressed. She was in her underwear putting on her makeup, or warpaint as Kev refered to it.

“You outdid yourself with Kev”, grinned Freya round the door.

“Yup,” eplied Anya, “Always wanted to do that.”

“Eh! Thought it was just for a laugh!”

“Nope, You've seen how he turned out, looks almost real..”

“Yup, how did you know?”

“Well apart from his excessively exaggerated blokishness, which no way can be real, went rummaging round his room a few weeks ago while he was getting us a brew. Found things that, shall I just say, show him in a different light!”

“Do tell.” freya was getting intrigued.

“Well, it's like this....” Anya was about finished with her face and went to the wardrobe. Freya started to get changed too.

 
 

Anya's Kitchen – Saturday 6:27 PM

 
 

“Man, I can't call you that now! Can't call you girl or woman either!” said wanger, “You'll have to pick a name or summat”.

“No way! Call me Grammy, man, like you usually do”.

“How about Gerry, or summat?”

“Bugger off! How about I call you 'Sum Yung Gai' then!”

“Mong! Stop that will ya”.

“i will if you will”.

“OK.”

They got a drink each and sat down. The first thing thet kev noticed was the red lipstick marks on the glass.

“Bugger! Have you seen that!” Kev gestured at the glass

“Bada, bada, dude looks like a lady.....” wanger started singing.

“Get to fuck...”

“...dude looks like a lady...”

“Mong!”

“...dude, dude, dude, dude looks like a ladeh...”

Anya's Bedroom – saturday 6:46PM

“Right, looking good” Said Freya. Freya was the master at getting ready quick. What most people do not see is the 3 hour search for an outfit before she came round, trying on her entire wardrobe at least twice.

“Me too.” Said Anya. “Shall we go down?”

“Yup, Kev'll be sick of Tony's bullshit by now and we have to talk him into leaving the house yet...”

“Leave that to me.”

“Go girl..”

---

 
To Be Continued...