I remember.

We'd been in good spirits when we returned to Eclipton that one time. Sure it'd be hard not to miss the country estate but this castle had its own charm. Rugged and sturdy but there were certainly worse places to be in the world.

And it was particularly beautiful that day. The flowers had just begun to bloom with the start of spring. The sky was especially blue that morning and you could hear the faint chirping of birds.

Nick had whispered something dirty in my ear and laughed when I blushed uncomfortably. Yes, it had been a good morning.

There were only a handful of times in my life that I had been as truly happy as I was that day when we had just returned from our long holiday together.

We were acting like a new couple as we walked the final few steps into Eclipton Castle, holding hands and giggling with one another.

I guess that's because we were a new couple. Not that anyone outside of those aware of our initial arrangement could ever know that.

"What do you say we go up to your room?" Nick whispered in my ear after smoothly pulling me closer.

"And do what?" I asked with a smile.

"I can think of a few things," he replied.

"Welcome back Your Highness, Lady Amelia," One of the staff said after a bow. A butler if I had to guess but who could keep track of these things? There were so many servants with so many different roles, and it was hard to keep them straight. "The King has requested you join him in his study, sir"

I smiled as Nick kicked his head back in frustration, "I guess it'll have to wait" he said quietly to me.

"Don't worry, I'm patient" I leaned in and whispered very close to his ear.

He kissed me deeply, "See you soon"

I remember what it was like on that day. Today the sky was grey and covered in dark clouds as if matching my mood. Somehow the world had lost all its color.

There were a lot more people waiting for me on this return. A good number of the castle staff were lined outside, heads bowed as we walked together. There were cameras this time around as well. It was all so suffocating.

This dress was suffocating. Not because I didn't like it, but because I did when I knew I shouldn't.

The only saving grace was the fact that I didn't have to force myself to smile. I'd just been through a harrowing ordeal, the Lenorian people would understand if I didn't smile for a while.

Besides, Nick was smiling enough for both of us.

When pictures of my return begin to circulate, the people will see just how happy he is to have me back.

I glanced over at him briefly as he placed a hand on my lower back to help me up the stairs to the grand entrance.

I could tell he was happy to have me back here. I just couldn't pinpoint the particular reason why. One reason kept pushing its way to the forefront.

Maybe he was just happy to have his plaything back.

"Good Morning, Your Highness," A butler or some such called out as we walked through the doors and away from the cameras, "Lady Amelia, on behalf of the staff here at Eclipton Castle, I would like to express our greatest relief over your safe return"

"Thank you," I replied. That's when she caught my eye, standing just off to the side.

She smiled at me. She looked so relieved. It made me angry.

"Celeste" I called her name.

She spoke after a small bow, "I am very happy you're safe, my lady"

"Here, help her to her room," Nick ordered.

"I'm fine," I called out as several court ladies began approaching, "I can walk"

"You're not fine," Nick argued, "Let them help. Or would you prefer if I carried you?"

I glanced around the room and found the staff present turning away as was typical when we showed displays of affection.

"I'm fine, really," I told him.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Alright," he eventually stopped making such a fuss, "I need to find my father now so we'll talk later?"

"Yeah," I forced a smile.

That smile proved to be a mistake because Nick almost immediately moved to kiss me. I only narrowly escaped by turning my face away.

"Talk later then," I heard him say awkwardly. I couldn't tell you what expression he had on his face because I still hadn't worked up the courage to look at him.

I remained with my head turned away until he walked down the hall and away from sight.

=^..^=

I was headed to my room with Celeste close behind me but we didn't make it quite that far.

Just after reaching the floor where my room was situated, I found one of the servants waiting for me. I was sure I'd seen her sometime around the castle but couldn't possibly tell you her name.

I could make out that she was older than I was but nothing else.

She stepped up as I made my way down the hall and bowed slightly like they usually did. I thought it was odd how that no longer fazed me in the slightest. But then again, few things about my life here still did.

"Good morning, my lady. Her Highness Princess Sophia has requested you join her briefly in her chamber" she informed me.

I wanted to groan but decided against it. Wouldn't want to appear disrespectful towards the Princess. But still, couldn't she have at least allowed me a moment alone in my room?

I needed time away from everyone. I needed space to gather my thoughts. A private session with Princess Sophia was hardly that.

"Lead the way," I said finally and received a small bow in response.

=^..^=

The lady in waiting first walked into the room and closed the door behind her before reopening it a moment later.

To my surprise, Lady Olivia walked out. What was she doing there?

"Amelia," she stopped briefly in front of me.

"Lady Olivia," I replied dropping my head ever so slightly.

"I cannot imagine what you've been through," she told me, "I'm glad you're okay"

"Thank you,"

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you"

I smiled at her. Where was this coming from? Was she just saying that to be polite? Didn't she say she didn't like 'the games'?

"Go on in," she said finally, "Her Highness is waiting"

And so I did, what I found was a room that was much bigger than mine and several times more luxurious. There were a surprising amount of books as well.

In fact, I found her holding one while perched on a long sofa. There was an open bottle of wine in front of her and a glass that was almost empty.

I wondered why she was here at Eclipton instead of at Rosemont with her husband and child but that is just the sort of thing you keep to yourself.

She hadn't been here in the days before the Ice Hockey celebration so she would have arrived in however long it had been since then.

I curtsied just as I'd done many times up till this point. I had gotten quite good at it.

"You know--" Princess Sophia began before looking up from the book she was reading, "It is forbidden for any man that isn't the Grand Duke to set foot in this room. The penalty is death. With that in mind, you, my dear are either a woman or you're committing a heinous act in my presence. Which is it?"

She'd invited me here so you can understand why I'd be a bit confused. I could only stare back at her. I had nothing to say. I didn't know the answer to that question.

"I don't know," I replied.

"You don't know? I would think one of those options would be much more favorable compared to the other"

She was right. If I had to pick, I knew which one I'd choose. But why was she asking me that in the first place? What did she want? I was too exhausted for this.

Thankfully, it didn't take long to get answers to my questions.

"Here, pick up the phone," she gestured to a smartphone resting on a coffee table in front of her.

I did as she bid.

"Go on, take a look at it," she urged me onward, "That is proof of a trust I've had set up with you as the sole beneficiary. 10 million euros as we agreed"

My eyes widened. I wouldn't pretend to understand all of what I saw but I got enough of it.

'Declaration of Trust,' I read the contents of a document in my head.

Morgan was listed as the beneficiary. There was some law firm I didn't recognize listed as the trustee alongside their contact information.

Initial Amount: €10,000,000.00

That was more zeroes than I'd ever seen attached to a currency. I swallowed hard. If this was real, I'd be set for life. I wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit ever again.

I could just disappear.

"What do I have to do?"

"Take a seat," she tapped the sofa twice to signal me over. "I'll tell you"

=^..^=

I felt like I couldn't breathe even as I stumbled into my room. I could never have imagined she'd ask me to do that. Why would she ask me to do that?

I couldn't, could I?

If she'd asked me to do this when she first offered me the money, I would have surely declined. Right?

I couldn't say for sure. It was 10 million euros. An absolutely insane amount to me. And it was all mine to keep if I did this.

I collapsed on my bed. In normal circumstances, I might have been overjoyed to be back in my own bed but I couldn't think about that, not when Princess Sophia had just dropped a bomb in my lap.

"Are you alright, my lady?"

Her.

I hadn't even let myself think of her. The thought that my closest friend would have been manipulating me was too much to bear so I'd shoved the thought aside just so I could function without screaming.

If I let myself feel what I wanted to, I would surely lose my mind.

"Can I get some water?" I asked her with a smile. How I managed that, I couldn't tell you.

"Of course, my lady"

My smile remained until she exited the room at which point it washed away with no trace.

My hands were shaking. I was beginning to feel overwhelmed once again. I was dealing with the revelations of being manipulated and now this request from Sophia, to betray everything I once loved.

I couldn't do it. I had to decline, right? No matter had happened, how could I do this?

I forced myself to my feet. Things had gone so far out of control.

I began removing the dress. I needed to see myself without all of this femininity. Remember what I look like.

The adhesive on the breast forms was already wearing off. Good, I needed all of it off.

I let the dress fall to the floor before making my way over to the mirror. It had been so long since I'd seen my full reflection.

I frowned at the girl who stared back at me. I still looked way too feminine.

My satin slip and underskirt were the next to go. Still too feminine.

Celeste returned just before I was about to begin removing my bra. I noticed she had brought a pitcher of water but on the tray, there was something else. Something that admittedly sent me into a bit of a frenzy.

How dare she?

I walked briskly up to her and stared at the injection on the tray. Intended for me I assume.

I took the injection in my hands and glared at her.

"Put down the tray," I ordered her.

"Yes, my lady"

I followed her with my eyes as she placed the tray on the vanity.

I couldn't believe this. They just wanted to continue right where they left off?

And Celeste, my friend. It broke my heart.

"Remove your dress," I told her.

"What?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"Are you deaf?"

"My lady, I don't understand"

"I said--" I reached towards her and pulled at the garment roughly, "Remove it!"

She looked shocked, to say the least, but she began to do as I asked, albeit slowly.

"The underskirt too"

"My lady!" she complained.

"Do it," I replied quickly, "Didn't you say I'm like one of your sisters?" I reminded her of her own words. "What do we have to hide from each other?"

She continued undressing slowly. I didn't press. I had all the time in the world. I waited as she undressed until she remained only in her underwear.

"Stay still," I told her before testing the syringe by pushing in with my thumb until a bit of the liquid shot out.

"My lady, no, you can't!" she stepped away.

"No?" I asked, "You don't like it?"

She didn't say anything else. She only stared in disbelief.

I took one step towards her and she took one away. I sighed.

"Do you know what this does?" I asked her while waving the syringe around.

She shook her head.

"See, I don't believe you. I think you do."

She shook her head again. I could tell she was afraid.

"I'll make this easy for you," I told her, "You either stand still, or I walk up to His Majesty's chambers and inform him that you graciously told me what this does"

I took another step forward and this time she didn't move, "Now I don't know what the King will have to say to that. Maybe he won't care. Or maybe he punishes those sisters that I'm apparently so alike"

I took a step forward and she remained frozen in place.

"Up to you," I added as I approached her. When she didn't move, I went to work. I placed the syringe on her upper thigh just as she always did to me, pushed it in, and pressed the plunger as far as it would go.

"You will not tell anyone about this. As long as you keep quiet, so will I. No one has to know" I told her. "Do you understand?"

God, she looked terrified as she nodded.

"Good, please tell the kitchen I'm hungry, will you?" I said as I walked over to drop the empty syringe in the tray.

"Yes, my lady" she answered dejectedly.

Sure I could have just poured the contents into the sink, but wouldn't that have been too easy on my good, friend Celeste?

=^..^=

'Nothing makes sense anymore' I thought to myself as I stared at my naked body in the mirror. Every piece of Amelia was gone but I still saw her standing there staring back at me.

My body was no different but it felt like everything else was. I'd misplaced the person I once was and it felt like he'd been lost for quite some time. I was only just realizing it now.

I'd gone to take a long shower hoping that by the time I finished, I would feel more like myself again but it was far from it.

I felt horrible about everything that had happened and worst of all I felt alone. I thought coming back here to face my problems head-on was the right choice but I was wrong.

I needed to leave and to do that, I needed to accept Princess Sophia's offer.

I jumped slightly when I heard knocking on the door. Who was it now? Celeste would usually just walk in but after the earlier events, it wasn't far-fetched to think she wouldn't be so carefree around me anymore.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's me," Nick called out, "I'm coming in"

"Don't, I'm undressed," I replied while making my way to the closet to grab a robe.

"When has that ever stopped us?" I heard him laugh. After a short pause, he added, "Is everything alright?"

I remained quiet until I had wrapped the robe securely around my naked body and walked to open the door.

My heart began to beat quicker when I saw him. He was dressed more casually now. The white shirt he wore was missing several buttons, in fact.

How very sly of him. He knew what it did to me when he did that.

"Hey baby," he smiled at me. He knew all my buttons. It didn't help.

He walked up to me, wrapped an arm around me, and pulled me close. Again, I turned away when he went for the kiss.

Once again, he stepped away and there were several excruciating seconds of silence.

"You know, I get it," he told me, "It's common for people that have experienced something horrible like you have to be withdrawn. A kind of reaction to the trauma"

"Did you google that?" I asked him.

"I did," he smiled. If things between us had been normal, I might have found that charming.

I forced a smile.

"What I'm trying to say is I understand," he continued, "I'm not going to rush you. In fact, I think you could do with a little space until you're ready. And I will be here when you're ready. Oh God, I've missed you so much. I've been a zombie for the last 2 weeks not knowing if I'll ever see you again"

He reached for my hand and I instinctively pulled it away.

"Just seeing you here safe is enough for me," I watched his face turn from one of compassion to one of anger, "I will find the people who did this and make them regret ever touching you"

I was quiet until he closed my door behind him.

Surprisingly, that visit cemented my decision. I was going to take Sophia on her offer. I couldn't be here anymore.

It was just too hard.

=^..^=

"This evening, the King will send for you"

Princess Sophia had said that earlier and it had proven true.

Celeste had delivered the message that the King had requested my presence and had helped prepare me for the audience.

The makeup she applied to my face was very light, about as light as the amount of words spoken between us that evening.

It suited me just fine, I had my mind elsewhere anyway.

"One moment, my lady," one of the guards at the door of the King's drawing room said to me, "I will announce your arrival"

My heart began to beat quicker and quicker. There was no going back after this.

My heart beat faster as the guard returned and pushed open the door for me.

Inside, I found the whole family.

The King and Queen sat together like they always did. Theodore sat with his brother to their left and Sophia sat with her husband, the Grand Duke and Supreme Chief of Staff.

I realized this was the first room where I'd met their Majesties, and now we'd come full circle.

"Amelia," the Queen was the first to speak, "We're so terribly sorry to pull you away from your rest. I promise this won't take long. When we're done, I will send a tonic up to help you sleep"

"I'm told there's something I need to hear," The King said impatiently.

"I received a transcript of Lady Amelia's interview post-rescue. My dear, may I say how pleased I am at your return," The Grand Duke stepped in, "Well, of course, it might be nothing but I thought I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't at least bring it to Your Majesty's attention"

"Where is this transcript?" The King asked.

"I thought it best you hear it straight from her lips. Lady Amelia, would you please tell us what you overheard while captured."

I looked around the room, my gaze briefly stopping on Sophia who paid me no attention. She almost looked bored by the proceedings.

I looked at Nick who looked back at me with those eyes filled with care.

I took in a deep breath and prepared to cross the Rubicon.

"'With-- with the prince helping us, we may actually win this war'" I forced the words past my lips, "I heard the ones that took me say that when they thought I was unconscious"

=^..^=

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