One of my problems is that I care about things.
And the problem with caring about things is that eventually I had to come to understand how powerless I am to actually effect the things I care about.
which means there is almost nothing I can do but let my heart break when the things I care about are in danger.
Now, a sensible person would probably realize this is stupid, and would stop caring, so I could stop hurting.
Except I cant really do that, without sacrificing most of myself.
So, I guess I am doomed to hurt and hurt and hurt ...
Comments
You Can't Save The World
Dorothy, caring is the right thing to do, and hurting when you can't fix whatever it is, is normal, but some things cannot be fixed and you just have to live with that. Console yourself with the fact that you have a heart.
Jo is absolutely right.
We live in a world in which things happen that we can't prevent, it doesn't stop us caring or hurting, it means we are human. It's sometimes exhausting and sometimes painful, but it is also a feature of experience. It is said, those who have never experienced pain have never really loved. I don't know, but today is my son's birthday and it reminds me how much I miss him and love him. The hurt never goes away, we simply learn how to live with it.
Angharad
Hidden inspiration...
Dot... Queen of Huggles... Caring is never the wrong tact to take. Folks on this site post all kinds of things from the heart and even if bleak there's always hope out there and someone rallying. Someone could see a post and be inspired to care, find common ground / purpose / injustice and act. Care, care hard and with all your might if it moves you - promise ya, someone out there feels ya girl. <3 Hugz Chica...
XOXOXO
Rachel M. Moore...
(Please see extended/excessive(?) comments on floopy-book.)
"Not caring" is =an= answer.
And is very often a symptom of overload or burnout.
Problem with not caring, is that it usually hurts anyways.
so it's a 'no win' there.
And destroys our ability to even 'nibble at the edges' of the morass of our problems.
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Suppose I magically find myself at an auto company, and my boss says "Build our next car."
Well, I'm an engineer/programmer.
One of our trainings, maybe a Big Part, is to break a problem into pieces.
I know for sure I can't design the engine, style the body, design the cabin, make a sound system that works with the design (cabin noise, driver can reach controls) ... and on and on.,,
So, I go to personnel, and say, I need these people ...
My engine person says "OK boss, I can put the pieces together, but I need somebody for the carburetor, another for the internal combustion part (pistons and such), another for electrical ..."
On and on it goes, taking the problem apart, over and over, until everybody can do their one part, and the 'managers' can fit the pieces together ... over and over until the cars roll off the line - and the market goes nuts, and we win awards and even more sales.
But.
Everybody has to care.
If the electrical people don't care, so that turning on the radio shorts the battery into exploding ...
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I live by the Serenity prayer if I'm not sure if God exists
I can't believe because there is so much evil, yet the words are wise even without a deity.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Boys will be girls... if they're lucky!
Jennifer Sue
Know the difference
By following the first line, it's easy to get too laid back and let bad things slide. Soon you begin to question that line of thinking and start looking for things you can change. That line is also easy to get caught up in. We tend to become a crusader for anything and everything, only to fail making the changes we see needed.
The key to making the whole prayer work is to get a firm handle on the last part: the wisdom to know the difference. We must first recognize the need for a change, but before we take measures to affect that change we first must determine if it is even within our power to do anything. In reality, most things truly are beyond our power to change.
That doesn't mean we stop caring or even stop thinking of how that change might come about. Sometimes, you (or I) as an individual can't do anything, but if we join together with others of like mind, we, as a group can make that change.
Dorothy, as Christians, we have an option that will allow us to both do something and serenely accept that it's not within our power to do anything. That is prayer. As a Christian, you should already have some time set aside each day to spend with God. During that time talk to God about what ever it is. Express your desires on the matter and then leave it in his hands.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin ein femininer Mann
I’m not sure it’s a choice
We feel what we feel, and care about what we care about. Deciding not to care about something doesn’t change feelings like a light switch. I suppose over time, and by exercise of discipline, you can bring yourself not to care about something, but the cost is high. You have to deny a part of yourself.
You are a fine and caring person, Dot. There’s a price for that, too, but at least you know you are human. At least you know you are yourself. And that’s not nothing.
Hugs, woman!
— Emma
Caring or sacrificing
This interview Setting Boundaries with Kindness explains how setting boundaries is actually showing that you care. Setting boundaries is deep down an act of kindness because we care!
When you care about things, you need to make sure that you have enough spoons to do something about that. But do not expend all your spoons by the end of the day. For your long term health it is better to have at least one spoon left by the end of the day. Because your recovery for the next day will be better and faster if you do not start from total exhaustion.
This was called to my attention while researching Autistic Burnout (as part of the Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and how it can easily be confused with Depression, though the therapeutic approach needs to be almost diametrically opposite. Even though I do not remember in which of these two videos it was brought up, I am pretty sure it was one of these: Autism and Burnout - My Experience With Autistic Burnout or How to Get Out of Burnout