Statistically Speaking 26

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Statistically Speaking

By Marco Asemani

Edited by Patricia Marie Allen

Part 26

The elevator quietly chimed and started up. Filippo politely watched the floor indicator. Gab just stood, thinking about something. I silently cursed myself for overstuffing with the omelet, then wondered if Gab will try and look at Vinnie who was standing right next to him. Sure, the long skirt of her uniform covered her legs completely, but a man would always try to steal a glance after such a talk. To be honest, I did several times while nobody watched me.

“Um, G-g-gab? M-m-m-may I a-a-ask for s-s-something?”

“Huh… Yeah, sure.”

“I… I p-p-plan b-b-bying a g-g-game c-computer. C-c-could you a-a-advise me w-w-what to b-buy?”

The brows of Gab went up for an eyeblink. Probably this was the first time someone was asking him about that.

“Sure.” Gab’s brow wrinkled and he started flexing one after another the fingers of his right hand, his lips moving silently.

The elevator stopped on our floor and the doors opened. Outside Gab stopped next to the women who were looking at some fashion magazine, left on Fabricia’s desk:

“For a good gaming core, you would need something with a MultiG-CPU with a liquid cooler, at least 8 T of WSRAM, a separate VR enhancer with its own XR Peltier cooler, and at least a dozen of T of WSSRAM- or NSRAM-based storage, more if you plan to play more than a couple of games. Amazon’s Mecha helmet and sensors were the rage a couple years ago, but now the Srivastava X-Set is better and cheaper too, I would suggest it. Oh, and you will need at least 10G low-latency Net, or the modern multiplayers will lag on dynamic scenes.”

“Uh… I-I-I c-c-couldn’t r-remember all t-t-this. C-c-can you h-h-help me f-f-find and b-buy all t-t-that?”

“Sure. The Srivastava drivers are still very new, you will need the latest update and it is a bit tricky to install, I will help with this too. And you will want the latest TitanimOS update, it has a faster renderer, even the most dynamic scenes go smooth with a good helmet… When do you plan to buy it?”

“W-w-when y-you w-will h-h-have the t-t-time?”

“Whenever you want. I have nothing to do after work but to play games.”

Gab went to The Cave. Leaving Vinnie and me right next to the other women.

After we entered our room, Mommy sighed:

“Vinnie… Why exactly Gab? I don’t think he is a boyfriend material.”

“Not even speaking of husband material,” Lu added. “He does not live in this world. You can’t rely on him for anything.”

“Definitely not appropriate,” Grace joined them. “With him, you will have one more child to care for, instead of a husband who will care for you.”

“I think the same,” I voiced my doubts. “Gab is too involved in gaming to be a good support in life. I don’t believe he will be what you need.”

The face of Vinnie paled and she rose up from the chair:

“Because he is into gaming? Well, I am into gaming too! Am I not a wife material?”

I was stunned by the strength of her reaction. The other women were too. Only Mommy tried to insist:

“Vinnie, imagine what will be when the children come. You will be working and caring for them, and he will be just playing games all day. What is the use of having such a husband—” She broke off under the glare of Vinnie.

Vinnie looked at each of us in turn, as if daring us to say something. Then slowly said:

“You think that a woman must see and value men as husbands only, and expect to be supported by them. As if she does not have a value of her own and should not believe in herself… I was like this too, until yesterday. But will never be anymore.”

There was a complete silence in the room. Vinnie again looked at each of us in turn. Then continued:

“You are thinking that you aren’t human like men. That you are just hens, whose sole value is in warming the nest and raising the chicks. Even you, Lexie! You at least could be different, with your pretensions that you know how the men think. But you are exactly like the rest of you, incapable of thinking like a man… like a human! Thinking ‘like a woman’ starts looking like a mental damage to me!… I refuse to be that. I will be what I really am, will believe in myself and will do what I like!”

She sat down and started typing in a script, without paying any attention to us. We exchanged a few astonished glances over her head. Finally, Mommy nodded to us: let’s work.

I quietly sat down and fixed my eyes on the screen, but my thoughts were elsewhere.

I couldn’t blame Vinnie or be angry at her at all. She probably had kept all that bottled inside, and it had eaten at her for all of her life. Now, not feeling ugly and valueless anymore, she had dared to let it out, and it came out with an explosion. She had needed that, and it was good that she did it.

And we needed that lesson, too. To start thinking not like women, seeing their value only in the children they can produce, but like humans.

But… was she right that I’m thinking as a woman?… Sure, for myself I would never think like that, I was a man. But I had thought that this is indeed the most important for a woman. Not realizing how nastily I discriminate against them. Confining them in my imagination to being… hens. Not free and proud humans like the men.

I had again proven to be full of prejudices. And very much deserving to be a Lexie.

But I had also proven able to learn and see my mistakes. So, I was not really so bad.

Maybe I deserved to be Lexie five days in a week. That looked about just.

And… wait, how’s that Vinnie’s stutter disappeared? Likely it was caused by her shyness too…

* * *

“Okay, I am ready. Ring!”

Both mine and Carla’s hands were busy with groceries, so I pressed the doorbell with my nose. Half a minute passed before Aunt Lauretta opened the door:

“Oh! I am so glad to see you, dears! Back from shopping? Will you come for a minute, just for a tea?”

“Of course, Aunt Lauretta. And not only for a minute and a tea.”

“Really? Be very welcome!”

When we started unloading the groceries on the small table in her kitchen, she was baffled. And when we took the big birthday cake out of the bag, her eyes went huge:

“Is… is this for me?… God… Dear children, you are… you are…” She broke crying.

“Yes, Aunt Lauretta,” Carla stated. “It is all for you. And you more than deserve it. Since when you haven’t celebrated a birthday properly?”

“Since… since I retired… Fifteen years already… Before that, I did it for my colleagues…”

“Well, you will do it now for us and with us.” Carla took out a big pack of candles. “How many to put on the cake? You are about forty, I see?”

“God bless you, dear… Put one, it is enough—”

“We have bought them already, will not be returning them. How many?”

“Seventy-seven.“ Sniff… “That is how old I become today”

“Wow, I would never believe it,” I added. “I thought you retired early.”

Aunt Lauretta smiled through her tears:

“You have always been so polite, Damiano. And so smart. Carla, if I was your age, I would try and steal him!”

We all laughed.

“Now, this is for the feast. And we want to give you a small present for your birthday.” Carla handled her an envelope.

“No! You already did so much for me! I am not taking money from you!”

“This is not money.”

Aunt Lauretta looked at us and opened the envelope. Took the voucher for the dentures out of it, grabbed her glasses from the table and put them on.

“This is… Oh, God!… What?! A thousand and three hundred Euro?! That is my pension for two months! I cannot take this!”

“We already bought it, Aunt Lauretta,” Carla said firmly. “From a company I worked for before, so we paid much less. Do not worry.”

“And half of it paid for by Lexie and Carlo,” I added. “The couple I lease my apartment to for the workdays. So the price was shared between four people, all of them with excellent salaries. You don’t have to be self-conscious at all.”

Aunt Lauretta stood and looked at us for some time without saying a word. Then her tears started flowing again.

“God… You are so nice. So much more than I deserve…” Some time passed before she could calm down.

“You deserve all that and much more, Aunt Lauretta,” Carla said firmly. “You just didn’t receive it from life, and that was not just. We do the little we can to fix that.”

Aunt Lauretta was again quiet for some time. Then looked at us:

“You know… Until a month ago, I was telling myself that I have lived long enough, and there is no sense in just existing anymore. Leading an empty life, with nobody around to connect with. Like a zombie that still walks around, but is already dead… Then I met Lexie and was amazed how nice, caring and polite she was. Then met Carlo, who was as kind and warm to me as her. Then you both, who are so much like them… This made me want to still live. That the world is full with incredible, nice, beautiful young people. Such a world is worth living in.”

“I wish I was beautiful,” Carla sighed. “But I am not like Lexie, you can’t deny it.”

“This is precisely what makes you a great girl, dear. It is easy for a beauty like Lexie to be nice, everyone is kind to her, she actually does not know the real world. You know it and are nice despite that – you are even more beautiful on the inside than her. Damiano, please, who is more beautiful to you – Lexie or Carla?”

“Absolutely Carla,” I replied without a bit of hesitation, happy that I can say the truth. “She is to me all the beauty on the world… And I am sure I will not fall in love with Lexie. Would not even if she had no boyfriend. I swear to it.”

“You see, dear? With the time your appearance will fade, but for the others only. Damiano is the type of man that will not abandon you for a younger girl, trust me to be able to tell it. Even if you are as old and wrinkled as me, for him you will still be the most beautiful woman in the world. Exactly like he will be the strongest man ever to you, even if he has to walk with a cane and getting up from the chair is a struggle for him. Old gossips might not be liked, but they have seen a lot and can tell such things.”

Carla looked at her, then nodded:

“Thank you, Aunt Lauretta.”

“And you will continue to make the world better. You surely have always been nice and kind, but probably learned something on that from Lexie and Carlo. It is very easy for them to show it. And others will learn from you and teach yet others in turn. I am one of those… When I am long gone, remember this and know – a lot of the kindness around was created by you, it exists because you sowed it, and you will be reaping it as reward.”

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Comments

Good for Vinnie!

Emma Anne Tate's picture

Lexie definitely “screwed up by the numbers” that time. But Damiano should not see his time as Lexie as a punishment, but rather, as an opportunity. Learning lessons about his own biases is clearly one of the biggest benefits. :)

Emma

Screwed up

Sometimes making a mistake is the only way to eventually realizing one's own biases.

And yes, Damiano has started realizing rather well how many of them he has. And more of that realization is coming.

Together with the understanding that it is exactly being Lexie that opened his eyes to having mo much to learn and so many biases to overcome.

But will he be able to live with the thought that being Lexie is his easiest way - maybe his only really working way - to improve himself quickly and deeply?

You see, this story appears to me rather different from most TG stories. It is not a "happily ever after transition" story, but a Bildungsroman about the growth of an ordinary cis hetero guy. I am still worried that it will not be to the taste of the trans readers. But it has already taken its own life and just spills out through me, leaving me with less and less control over what happens.

Initially, it wasn't like that. As Terry Pratchett would say, we found ourselves in the head of Damiano because it was conveniently empty at the beginning of the story. He was just a young man who, like most of his likes, dreams to be a true man. Had he grew up among mafia enforcers, he would dream of being - and likely would be - a ruthless killer. Or, among neo-Nazis he would likely become one of them, being an opportunist by heart. He had the luck to grow among mountain rescuers, which did not make him a man of steel, but still gave him a good example. Sure, the circumstances in which he tried to live up to it were a bit unusual, but he still did. And the result was unexpected and interesting...

And he still has to grow up more. Maybe again in ways he doesn't expect now... We will see. :)

VR still needs a helmet ?

That is one reason why it is not taking off as it is very annoying.

VR and helmet

I am not completely sure what qualifies as a helmet at the described moment. Gab would likely be able to give you a very informative lecture - ask him. :)

My own impression is that these helmets are way more advanced than the current ones. Lighter, using much more advanced technologies etc. I guess that in less than a decade later they will be mostly replaced by neural implants, but at the time of the story still only complete nerds have such ones.

BTW, guess what described technology can be way better than a helmet at conveying virtual reality? Pity that it is not configured to do it... :)