The tailor’s place was just a couple of blocks away. He was a small, wizened man about eighty. Measured me way more times and in way more places than I imagined are needed. Had he been younger, I would suspect that he just wanted to gawk at a pretty girl from every possible position, and touch her everywhere. Then told me that the uniforms will be ready in three days – turned out, there would be two sets.

I thanked him, wandered out and sat on a bench next to a condo entrance. Carefully, because of the damned tights. My feet hurt as hell, and my pride hurt even more.

Lexie… Wearing a skirt… Being stared at, wolf-whistled at… Thinking about tights, heels, behavior around men, behavior around women, fuck knows how many more things… Living as a woman definitely was not pleasant, or easy.

Oh well. Mountaineers overcome the challenges, right?…

Okay. I got that job. It was time now to pay my debt to the goth girl who helped me in so unusual a way. I probably wouldn’t be able to fool her with the disguise, she would die with laughter when she saw me. However, a real man always pays his debts.

Even if disguised like a woman.

With a lot of effort of the will, I dragged myself to the mall. What I should buy her? Clothes? I did not have any idea what size she was, let alone what she liked. Jewelry? I remembered from the rom-coms that I scanned yesterday that jewelry had to fit the look. What kind went with the goth look? Or with any other look? I had no clue. As well as about the female clothes sizes… Finally, I bought the biggest box of chocolates I could find – would talk to her while giving that, try to learn what else she needed.

I took the escalator down. Usually would consider that a disgrace, but now my feet hurt too much. My memory of the underground floor was good, and easily found the place. However, it was dark and empty. The sign with the shop name had disappeared. Instead of that, there was a “FOR RENT” sign.

Bankrupted yesterday?! What a coincidence…

Whatever, I had to find the girl. Looked around – against the shop door there was a small service corridor. A muscular guy about my age in a guard uniform had leaned against the wall in it, with a half-eaten slice of pizza in a hand.

“Excuse me, mister? There was a sex shop here couple of days ago, I seek the girl that worked in it.”

He looked at me very carefully.

“There wasn’t a sex shop. We don’t have one in the mall. Sorry, Miss.”

“But… The shop girl is a friend of mine! I know she works here!” Suddenly an idea flashed in my mind. I smiled and took a stride towards him. “Could you please help me? I will be grateful!”

His eyes lost focus for a moment, glued to my chest. Before managing to answer however, he froze for a moment and quickly tapped his ear – probably had an earbud phone in it:

“Copy, Sir… Yeah, I can take the evening shift too, but… Didn’t these damn techies fixed finally the security cams?… Ass-handed bastards! Four days already we give double shifts because of them! Will there be some overtime payment?…” He winced. “Yes, Sir, I need this job… Will do it, Sir! I was just asking… Of course, Sir!… Whether someone asked for what?” He glanced at me and his lips twisted into a revengeful smile. “Nobody at all, Sir!… Nobody paid any attention to it!… Of course I’ll report immediately!… Yes, Sir!”

He waited for a moment, probably for the other to close the phone. Then leaned towards me and whispered:

“Come with me, here behind the corner, to not be seen.” He pointed to the corridor that took a turn at the far end.

Already behind the corner, I suddenly realized that this might have been a bad idea. However, the guard didn’t assault me:

“Yesterday morning there came some folks. Suits and ties, but had the air of special forces. My boss and the mall boss were with them, shitting pants at every word of those. Took away everything from the sex shop. The boss ordered us, if anyone asks for the shop, tell them there never was one, and immediately report to him and describe them, before they could leave the mall. Hell, I will, to that cheap-ass!” He spat. “Just don’t tell anybody I told you.”

I felt cold creeping along my back. Special forces? Mafiosi? Intelligence?… What that damned bodysuit had gotten me into?!… And what happened to the girl?

“Of course I won’t!… Did they arrested the girl that worked there?” I forced myself into an even wider smile.

“Wasn’t here yesterday. Some other girl came. The creeps grabbed her as she was unlocking the shop. Asked her a lot of stuff. I overheard that she’s a roommate of the shop girl, who was ill and asked her to fill in for the day. They threatened her a bit, then two of them went with her somewhere… If I hear anything about her, I promise to tell you. If you give me your phone, will call immediately.”

I was just about to give him my phone, when I realized that he actually wants to hit on me. Or to pass it to his boss, if he gets some payment for that.

“Um, there is no need… I will find her somehow… Thank you very much! Have a nice day!”

“If you reconsider, you’ll find me here. Ask for Silvio. Maybe we can get a dinner somewhere, I make pretty good money—”

“I will think about it. Thank you again…”

I bolted out of the mall like if all mafiosi in Italy were after me. Or worse – a properly seduced and muscular guard…

I kicked the damned heels off and dropped on the bed like a sack with potatoes. My pride was not just hurt – it was beaten into the ground.

On the road back, I was aware all the time how men watched me. In the subway some tried to stand next to me and to grab a feel. I constantly fought the urge to beat them on the spot, despite the disadvantage of the heels and the skirt. Still not having documents as Alexandra would however get me in a trouble, so I had to just hide behind the box with the chocolate, burning with shame.

And women have to cope with this every day. For all of their lives. And, unlike me, they can’t beat most men. Poor them…

But that could wait. Everything but one thing – to somehow understand what the bodysuit had gotten me into. Special services or big mafiosi closing a sex shop?! That was a complete lunacy…

Wait! There was something in the bodysuit manual, in the introduction… I grabbed the remote, but suddenly felt the same feeling as when I was just about to step on a treacherous rock. Sat on the bed and squeezed my temples… Yes, I remembered it well.

The bodysuit is based on a technology developed for the needs of the military intelligence, and retains many of the characteristics of its original design. It protects the wearer from most types of attack, including hits, cuts and stabs…

That was it. Such a thing not only could disguise the wearer to a degree most people consider impossible. It also protected at par with a good military armor, without being noticeable. Could allow the wearer to be several times stronger, endure cold and heat, last days without air… It was a complete game changer in intelligence, and not only there – I had watched enough movies to understand that well. Probably that GmbH had stolen somehow the technology, adopted it where it wouldn’t be looked for – or so they thought – and naively believed that they will not be caught until they make enough money to buy their way out of it…

And left some people stranded in this situation. Me, the sex shop girl… I did not have any clue how I could find her. Probably yesterday evening she already had been beyond anyone’s help. They probably had her roommate lead them to her, and… I thought for some time, but could find absolutely no idea how to help her, or even find any trace leading to her.

The good thing was, creating such a technology was clearly beyond the mafiosi. An intelligence could do it for sure – but I knew from the movies that these prefer to keep a low profile, wouldn’t kill someone without a need. The goth girl just distributed it, probably for pennies or even for free, as a part of a package with some minor sex stuff. Probably never even tried it or read the manual – for her it likely was just a weird sex clothing. She couldn’t be a man who poses as a woman – her frustration about the men being privileged was too strong… They would hopefully just threaten her to keep silent and let her go. Making her disappear risked raising more suspicions.

Was I in danger? Probably not. From what I heard in the mall, the security cameras hadn’t worked for the last four days. Even if the girl gave them my description, there are thousands of young red-haired men in Milan. Good luck finding among them one that secretly has this bodysuit. Especially if he looks now very unlike a red-haired man…

Did they had ways to track such a bodysuit? If I bought anything from the company online shop, or even only if opened its page – probably right this moment, but what if I didn’t? If the suit was easy to track and recognize, the enemies of the intelligence that developed it would easily detect it, it would not be of much use. And if they still had a way for that, I could do nothing against it. When you can do nothing about something, don’t live on it, move on.

I looked at the envelope still in my hand. Had to pay my debts. And, judging by the hint of The Boss, I – Alexandra, that is – needed better clothes.

And shoes without heels!

The guys from the nearest bank branch turned out great at arranging utilities payments by debtors. Probably did that often. And were really nice – advised me how to complete the needed form, so that I could pay only half of the sum at first, but the debt collectors could not touch me for at least three more months. Then one of them even completed it for me. I tried to not think about what was behind that helpfulness. Even the relief from having postponed the prison threat for a while couldn’t improve my mood. I had agreed to masquerade as a girl for months, with only weekend breaks. And I had to tell every day a mountain of lies. Some man I was…

There was a big store for clothes a couple of blocks from the bank. I entered it and started examining the jeans. I’d probably need to check which size I need now…

“Are you selecting a present, Miss?” A attendant had approached. Her name tag said “Lucia”.

Present?

“Actually no… I was just browsing through… Came actually to buy clothes for myself.”

“Be welcome to the lady’s section, then.”

Oh!… I walked after her, to the half of the shop I had never been before.

“Would you allow me to suggest you this style? Pre-washed and pre-torn on the knees, and above them. They are into fashion again now among the girls your age.”

“Uuuh, no, thank you. I’d like something, umm… Somewhat unisex style? More similar to the men jeans, you know?” I felt like walking on thin ice. If she guesses…

“Try these. See the pink lace here, imitating men’s back pockets?”

“Um, actually I didn’t mean that. I mean, something less lacy… A bit conservative, so to say…” I was out of guesses how to say it. And… what I was expecting a seller to offer to an apparently teenage girl? “You see, I am actually 21 and will be wearing these to work…”

“On, I see. What about these? I think your size is this. Would you like to try them? The changing room is right there.”

The jeans appeared normal, until I put them on. They were only reaching down to a hand’s width above the ankle. Wolf-whistle at me as much as you like, I’d love it… I knew I had seen women with normal length jeans, but only now I noticed that I don’t remember seeing girls about twenty with any.

Apparently, it would take new lies… I put the damned skirt back on and came out of the changing room.

“Lucia… You see, I ran away from my former boyfriend. Have some money, but only the clothes on me. Need to buy everything I might need. And would prefer more conservative clothes—”

Her eyes widened.

“Oh, I understand now! There is no need to be ashamed of that, I have been abused myself. Of course I’ll help you… Between us, there are cheaper stores nearby, but I will do my best. Do I get correctly that you aren’t interested in boys right now?”

“Absolutely!” How good it is to tell the truth, for once! Especially after I had turned out better at lying than I expected…

“What kind of job is yours, customer facing? Or, do you have young male bosses?”

“No. A data processing company, no contact with customers. The boss is over 70—”

“Got it. You will need then a couple of those jeans here as a start, they are on a discount now and are good quality. What is your size?”

“Ummm, I have never been good with sizes, and haven’t slept for several days already, so my head is a mess…”

“No need to be embarrassed about it, dear, I understand you very well. Poor you… You appear to be unisize 40 – if that is wrong, you can replace the jeans within two weeks. Let me take a bag for the purchases… Now, you will need also some blouses…”

In the underwear section, we had to add a second bag. I felt mortified by the idea of wearing female underwear, despite that it would be the only one that fits the bodysuit. Luckily, Lucia didn’t pay attention to me. Even more luckily, she offered me only a somewhat less sexy underwear, plain white and almost without lace.

The batch was completed by a light coat, a purse with long handles (“convenient for wearing on your shoulder”), and three different kinds of shoes – Oxfords, running shoes and a pair with heels, on the insistence of Lucia. I agreed to take them to avoid evoking suspicion, but decided to never wear them.

The whole costed nearly a thousand and a half – much more than I was used to. But less than I feared, having watched the prices on the shelves… Lucia did miracles, offering me the best discounts, picking clothes that “went together” and “can be combined well”, whatever that had to mean… And she refused to take a bill of twenty as a tip, insisting that I will need it now more.

Ashamed and embarrassed beyond anything I imagined to be possible, I walked on the street with a bag in each hand. And a thought was running through my head.

Apparently some women were human. Well, maybe still crazy about clothes and shoes, despite that theirs cost more than the men’s – but as decent and helping to someone in need as a mountaineer. I had been too quick to judge all women today.

“Can I help you, Miss?” The floor sweeper was about sixty, probably Romany, and all smile. The kind of woman that somehow always makes your day sunnier when you meet her.

“Um, I am new here, have to start work today.”

“Oh, you are a bit early, it is still a quarter to nine. Don’t worry, they will come in a moment…”

I sat on a chair in the lobby, trying to lighten up my mood for the workday. And to somehow not be caught. Impersonating a woman turned out hard.

Even in, well, that sense. After waking up (and again catching myself smearing shaving cream on my, that is, the bodysuit’s face), I had decided to try the female underwear. Had seen more than once women going together to the restroom – wouldn’t dare to risk being seen not wearing underwear. The rom-com movies showed clearly what kind of women do that, and when.

Compared to putting tights on, the panties turned out no-brainer, even if a bit tight. Checking the result in the mirror however had an unexpected, if predictable effect. The surprise from what I was seeing was not so overwhelming anymore, and the girl there looked in white panties even sexier than naked. I immediately got a raging arousal, probably on top of the morning wood. It was impossible to see, but I felt it as strongly as ever. The only change in the mirror was that the nipples of the bodysuit erected and hardened – and the sight made my arousal even stronger. Even the embarrassment from feeling like my own nipples did that couldn’t soften it.

I tried to find how to… well, use the usual way for relieving the arousal. No success at all – couldn’t feel touching myself there, no matter how I pressed and where I probed. Moreover, I was initially convinced that things cannot become any worse, but the sight of what the girl in the mirror was doing with herself quickly proved me wrong. On top of all, the more desperately I tried, the more frantically she… well, made a performance that made any porn I had seen look modest.

I bolted out of the bathroom and hastily searched the Net about how women solve this problem. Found a lot of links to videos showing how women masturbate, in both “classic” and “inventive” ways. Often using toys I had only heard of, or even hadn’t suspected their existence. I remembered that the bodysuit manual said that sex in it feels even better than without it. Still, despite almost dying with need, I couldn’t force myself to do it this way. Just… couldn’t. My male pride refused to budge, even in such a need.

When I put a blouse on, the nipples of the bodysuit almost poked through it. Knowing when they harden, I guessed that I should better hide them. Putting a bra on was the only option. Luckily, I remembered from the rom-coms watched yesterday how women do that – and decided to not do it in front of the mirror.

The sexual tension I felt while walking to the subway station was probably the strongest in my life. In addition, I had the impression that the bodysuit rotated my ass like a windmill, and that everyone around was drooling at me… Well, being rabid at the entire world at least calmed the sexual tension down somewhat. Or else I would not be able to work during my first workday.

“Lexie? Good to see you. Eager to work?” The voice of Fabricia snapped me out of the bad memories.

“Yes, of course!” I immediately reacted. “It is so hard to find a job as a statistician, and the company appears good…”

“Hope you still think so after the yesterday’s accident. Thanks to your plea Filippo is still at work, but got the harshest ultimatum about behavior I have ever seen. You can be sure that he will never dare to harass you again.”

“I am. He looks a nice man, it just that… there was some misunderstanding… He didn’t really try to harass me, it just looked so…” Even knowing that this was the truth, it was an effort to fight the revolting memory. I always thought that women are right to be fussy about men pawing them, but only now understood now nasty that feels. Even if you only pretend to be a woman.

“He indeed is nice, if not very smart with women. I can’t imagine what might have gotten into him yesterday… And, honestly, I was impressed by you. It was obvious how shaken and furious you were, and you still stood up for him. At the cost of a personal sacrifice, The Boss said.” She looked at me quizzically.

“Um, no, I wasn’t actually that shaken—”

“Why then coming today like this? Oxfords, long jeans, the plainest blouse possible, free hair, no jewelry, no nail varnish, no makeup, not even lipstick? Trying to be more a boy than a girl?” She smiled.

Uh-oh! Turns out, Fabricia is watchful like hell. I felt just a hair away from being de-masked.

“Poor kid. And you look so cute in a skirt!”, she continued. Then sighed. “I hope you will overcome it soon… You actually defended Filippo’s family, I guess? I noticed your reaction after you saw the groceries for the children in his bag.”

Does she ever miss anything?!

And has she already noticed the masquerade, and is just playing now?

“Um, yes… But he really didn’t try to touch me, it just—”

“Okay, okay. The Boss was impressed, too. So few girls are so responsible and conscious, especially at your age. Heck, even so few men are… Good morning, Mr. Montafun!”

“Hello, Fabricia. Hello… Miss Manzoni? Lexie? How do you prefer to be called?”

Did he have to ask that while Fabricia is watching me?!

“Ummmm, Lexie is okay.” I felt my face burning again.

“Did I offend you? If yes, I apologize sincerely—”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Montafun, she is just very shy. Lu said it very well – as if coming from times when the women were real women.” Fabricia smiled and entered the changing room.

“Indeed. So, I hope that you will enjoy working here. If you meet any problems, do not hesitate to come straight to me.”

“Thank you, Mr. Montafun.”

During the next ten minutes, everyone I knew – except Grace – came, changed and entered their rooms. I reminded myself several times to be careful and not gawk at the women. Filippo stayed as far from me as possible, keeping his eyes to the floor. I sincerely felt pity for him. Not very smart with women described me well too, Sandra was right. And I still owed him, despite that everyone around believed the opposite.