Statistically Speaking 29


Statistically Speaking

By Marco Asemani

Edited by Patricia Marie Allen

Part 29

A few minutes later Aunt Lauretta was sitting with me and Carlo around the table in my room.

“Thank you, Aunt Lauretta. Without you, this guy could create a lot of inconvenience to us,” I said.

“Oh, that is nothing. You know, a little bird told me that you two paid a lot of money to buy me a birthday present. I am glad that I could repay a little of this debt.” She looked at us with a faint smile.

“I bet it was the girlfriend of your landlord,” Carlo nodded to me. “I knew she is a chatterbox, you can’t trust a secret to her.”

“Hey, don’t offend the girl!” I protested. “She is a great friend!”

“And you deserve to get the credit you are due,” added Aunt Lauretta.

Carlo smiled. Then turned again to her:

“You really scared this guy with being exposed to the media”

The eyes of Aunt Lauretta sparkled.

“Never underestimate an old gossip, kids… And no, it was not the media that really scared him. It was the idea to put him in a dress and parade him like that.”

“You think so?”

“Of course, dear Carlo. That is the ultimate fear of every man. Don’t you believe it? Tell me, would you like to be dressed as a woman and paraded in front of other people?”

Carlo visibly paled.

“Of course, no! It is…”

“You see? These days men don’t consider the women really inferior, but the fear from being cast as women remains. Yes, some men do that, but either because they feel like they are actually women on the inside, or because they find it funny. But I bet that you will not like it… Now, I am grateful for your hospitality, but it is time for me to sleep.” She smiled toothlessly. That is going to change soon, thought I with pride.

“Please accept our sincere gratitude, Aunt Lauretta.”

She stood up from the chair with some effort, looked back at us and smiled again:

“Oh, that is just a consequence of me being still around. Thanks to you.”

* * *

“I loved how well you played being scared by being dressed in women’s clothes. Even got pale. Is that another controllable option?… Carlo, what’s up?”

“Precisely that.”

“Huh?… I don’t understand.”

“I was indeed scared by wearing women’s clothes. More than a little.”

“What?!… This doesn’t make a shred of sense! You wore a skirt this Sunday and was happy with it!… I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. But that is what I felt. And I don’t like it a single bit.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Really? Let’s try something. Would you go to work topless tomorrow?”

“Of course not! What has gotten into you?!”

“You even blushed. Why not? Remember, while going to lunch, we saw two workers replacing the sidewalk pieces naked to the waist?”

“Yes, but they were men!… Oh!”

“Exactly. The breasts the people would see are not really yours. What is the problem, then?”

“Well,… long story short, when I am in the bodysuit, I have to play the part. It is only normal, isn’t it?”

“As far as blushing when suggested to expose this bodysuit?”

“What do you mean?!”

“That when you are in the bodysuit, you do not just play the part. Inside your head, you are Lexie and these breasts are not the bodysuit, but you… Same with me and Carlo. And I don’t like this.”

I felt embarrassed and tried to shift away from the topic:

“Is being Carlo so bad?”

“It is not! That is the problem! If I had to live the rest of my life as Carlo, I wouldn’t regret it too much!… Inside me, Carlo is as real and solid as Carla. Turns out, I have become two people at once, thanks to the fucking bodysuit—”

“Mind your language, dear!” I tried to put the things on a lighter note.

“That too. Carla would never use such a word. Carlo is only sorry because he did it in front of a girl!… Well, he is a gentleman and would never to try to replace Carla as my real person. I am not sure about you and Lexie though. Being her appears to me even more addictive than being Carlo.”

“But I am… Gosh! I think I start getting it… But isn’t it just the same as with actors who really imagine they are the characters? What did they call that, method acting?”

“I don’t know, Le… that is, Damiano. Or you really prefer Lexie when you are like this?”

“I don’t care, frankly. Lexie, Damiano, they are both me…” Suddenly I felt coldness on the inside. “But maybe you are right, I should care. And to be afraid – where this might take me? Will I start feeling unnatural as Damiano? It appeared to me completely impossible. But when I started this masquerade, that is how appeared to me feeling natural as Lexie. Now I do and have no problems with it…”

“Same here. Something happens with me that I believed to be impossible before. And I am scared that more will follow. That I will lose myself completely. In effect will gradually die and someone else will replace me.”

“Do… do you think that the bodysuits might be subverting our personalities? Somehow reaching into our brains and modifying them?”

Carlo thought for a second.

“Likely not. They can enter a throat and change a voice, but cannot enter the organism, I have read about that. It’s considered highly dangerous. Their nanos can get defective, change what they do and do things they shouldn’t, there’s no perfect machine. If they are outside the organism, they just fall out and die, but on the inside they can do bad things. Nobody sane will engineer such ones.”

“Really?!”

“There is more. Inside the organism, it’s very harsh place to them. They are smaller than cells and immune cells mistake them for germs, eat them and dissolve them in stuff even nastier than stomach acid. And if they are made to survive that, immune cells cannot digest them, die and rot, more and more of them, poison the organism, bring you nasty illnesses. You design a nano your best agents will wear, you don’t want that. You do a lot to ensure it doesn’t happen… So I think that is not really possible.”

My relief was hard to describe. But…

“Why then do we get like this? Having additional personalities?”

“The more important question is, does this endanger our real ones. I’d like to think it doesn’t, that is what I feel, but cannot prove it.”

I thought for a moment.

“There was an old sci-fi with that in it, I can’t recall its name. A man goes to Mars and there discovers that his person is actually fake, created to gain the trust of the people he likes, and his real person is an agent that seeks to kill them. So he managed to stop the destruction of his person and remain alive, replaced the real person… What if Lexie decides that Damiano is a semi-human, compared to her, and should be replaced completely?”

“Hm. Is Lexie this kind of person?”

“Very much no… But she is really superior to Damiano, in everything possible. Kinder, more observant to the suffering of people, as strong physically but next to invulnerable, and many other things. Even smarter, I think… Becoming her permanently might become enticing at some moment.”

The Carlo’s eyes lit.

“That is it! She is superhuman, Damiano is human. Exactly like with Carlo and Carla… Hm… Thinking of it, if my bodysuit was turning me into a Lexie, she would have already taken over me. Without realizing this, I would want to be her only, to never be Carla again.”

“Same if I was turning into a Carlo… So the gender switch actually protected us from becoming super people, who however are not us?”

“To a degree, yes. And it’s not bad to be superhuman but, thinking of it, I still want to be me. I am afraid of someone else replacing me, even if they are eventually me, but much better… I might look like a pumpkin on a stick and have anxieties and problems, but that is the real me. I don’t want to lose it, even if I want to be superhuman sometimes.”

I sighed:

“There was a movie with that in too. Called “Superman” or something like. About a guy, Clark whoever, who can turn into Superman, a superhuman able to do practically anything. I watched it years ago, and was thinking – why Superman always returns to being an ordinary guy with glasses and a slouch? Isn’t being Superman much better?… Now I start getting it. He maybe is like us, able to be the superhero on need, but doesn’t want to lose being the ordinary man too.”

Carlo looked at me with interest:

“Because that is who makes him human? Being superhuman has a lot of advantages, but what if you are a human who has the desire to be better and to make the world better? Losing that human will make you powerful, but will deny you what your real self wants to be and do?”

“I think that Lexie will have all of the human part too. Maybe even more than Damiano… Dunno. Maybe other people would choose to make the switch, to become Lexie only. I wouldn’t want it. The sex change opened my eyes to how important is to be the real you. Something that I would likely have missed if I was changing into a Carlo instead.”

“Hmm. That will take some thinking before I can have a reliable answer.”

“Well, we don’t have the time to play a computer game already. So, what about playing some other game? Will that help us see the problem from all sides?”

“And explore it in depth?” Carlo smiled.

“Definitely!”



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