By Marco Asemani
“Wow, that is a sight!” Carlo exclaimed.
“Worth a couple of hours of climbing, eh?” I took the last couple of steps on the trail and stood next to him.
“With the bodysuit, yes. Previous Sunday, I stopped several times to rest while climbing it and still couldn’t reach here. Then I almost hated it, but now love it!”
“Actually, now it was a bit of strain on me to keep up with you.” I smiled.
“Wow!…” He suddenly pulled me slightly aside, to make room for a couple of girls.
“Thank you, Mister,” the taller one smiled at him.
“Oh, you are welcome, Miss! The sight is incredible!”
“We like to come here and see it… Do you?” the other girl smiled at me.
“Right here for a first time. But we will likely come again.”
“And will bring our girlfriends too,” interjected Carlo. “They decided to not come, have a girl’s day instead. But I hope we will convince them the next time to join us.” He shot a glance at me.
“Great. I hope we will meet.” The taller one was smiling, but I think I could feel a slight note of disappointment in her voice.
“I hope too,” Carlo nodded. “My apologies, but it is time for us to go back. Have a pleasant day!”
“Are you jealous?” I teased him while we were walking down.
“No, I just didn’t want to give the girls false hopes… And am thinking about something.”
“Yes?”
“It feels strange that I am in the bodysuit, while you are without it. I still absolutely like you, but the physical attraction is not the same, I can’t imagine sex with you in this combination… But in every other aspect the warmth is the same.” Carlo blushed slightly.
“Like a deep and good friendship?”
“Yes. A really, really deep and good one.” The blushing increased a bit.
“Before knowing about the real you, I thought you will make a great friend. And dreamed of teaching you to climb. Well, a mountain trail is not really a climbing, but is a good start.”
“Not really? What is a climbing, then? Crawling up vertical rocks like in a movie? Is that really a thing?”
“Of course. There are competitions in it. I have certifications on it. Don’t worry, we tie ourselves with ropes while climbing, to not fall down.”
“Wasn’t there some package that protected from falling from up to some height, and from hits from things?”
“Yes. I am still salivating when I remember it.”
“If we could obtain it, would you be climbing as Lexie? Because there is no other way to use it.”
“Likely yes…” Now it was my turn to blush. “Would need to buy another set of mountaineering clothes and shoes, but would likely do it. The thrill is incredible… Speaking of it, what about trying again trails without the bodysuit? We will not go hard, and with the time you will get endurance…”
“You would like better to climb together with me without the bodysuit?” Carlos smiled.
“Yes. Blame me for it…”
“Oh, I plan to be out of it the entire next weekend. But I might like to have Lexie for a company.”
“What?… Why?!”
“For one thing, it is good to clean your apartment thoroughly. Have you noticed how much better you are at it as Lexie?”
“Really?…” Thinking of it, she was right. I was definitely far more thorough and careful at cleaning while in the bodysuit. Somehow it only made sense to be. Like with the clothes, too. While out of the bodysuit, I would rarely even remember to examine clothes before putting them on. Wouldn’t care at all if I noticed a stain the size of a pinhead. But as Lexie, I found acceptable only perfectly clean clothes.
“And frankly, I am curious also if I will feel a physical attraction for you when you are Lexie, when I am out of the bodysuit.” Carlo blushed a bit again. “I prefer you as male, but still am curious enough to experiment with this… What do you think?”
“Ummmm… mmm…”
“Hey, don’t be afraid to speak your mind! We have had sex in both directions and my opinion of you only improved from this. It is easy to be a man when you have a package.” Carlo grinned. “How many men will still be real men while they have breasts instead? You proved you are.”
“Hm… Well, if you will be out of the bodysuit, I definitely prefer being out of it too. That is, being male… But am also curious enough to try once and see how it goes…”
“Some men would do anything to try this,” Carlo smiled.
“Well, I wouldn’t do anything for it. But…”
“What do you think, will some gaming be a good end for a Tuesday?” Carlo smiled.
“Definitely!”
“So, will this time be Lands of Glory again? Or maybe you would prefer Vetala War?”
“Maybe Vetala—” The doorbell interrupted me. “Huh? Who would be this?” I rose up from the chair and went to the door.
On it was standing a man in his forties. His hair was carefully combed to hide an early balding and his mustache was trimmed exactly like these of the typical lover character in the rom-coms I had watched.
“I am Mr. Petrini, the new prefect of the building,” he presented himself unceremoniously. “You are?”
“Umm, Alexandra Manzoni, a tenant.” Obviously the previous building prefect, the old Mrs. Langella, had retired from the position.
“So it is true that you rent the apartment?”
“Actually, I share it with the owner, Damiano Rossi. He lives here during the weekends, and I do during the workdays. During these he works as a mountain rescuer, and during the weekends I go and visit my family—”
“I don’t care where you go and when. Why haven’t you registered your tenancy? Paying rent without an official contract is a violation of the law.”
“I don’t pay any rent. Just live here, umm, to protect it from burglary while the owner is not present—”
“I don’t care. You have violated the law, and are coming with me.”
What this prick was imagining?
“Mr. Petrini, what exactly you allege against Ms. Manzoni?” Carlo said from behind me.
“And whom would be you, Mister?”
“A guest of Ms. Manzoni. Is it illegal to visit people in this building?”
“It is illegal to rent without a contract. Your girl is coming with me right now. And if you have something against that, I will call the police and you can explain that to them.”
I felt my blood boiling.
“Are you a policeman? Without being one, you cannot order people where to go. Trying to do that is itself a violation of the law.”
“Shut up, girl, or you might get bigger problems! Go right now!”
“Mr. Petrini, if you try to force my girlfriend, you might not like my reaction,” Carlo stated coldly. “And the police will understand me very well.”
“The boss of the local police is my relative, you dumbhead! Wanna quick transport to the prison?”
Carlo tried to come in front of me, I tried to hold him. However, suddenly a sharp, shrill voice echoed up and down the staircase:
“Mauritio Petrini, are you trying to harass these young people?”
The prick jumped with surprise and looked downstairs. There was standing Aunt Lauretta, her fists on her hips and her eyes blazing.
“Who the hell… Aunt Lauretta?!”
“Don’t you dare to aunt me, you little twit! I know you since you were born, your mother was a friend of mine! I remember how you were taken out every day in a baby cart and breastfed! Who do you think you are, going around and trying to bully my neighbors?! A prefect? I will call everyone who lives here and tell them a few things about you!”
The entire staircase was ringing with her voice. Old women are able to maintain an impressive strength and speed of staccato when angry, but Aunt Lauretta clearly was in a category of her own.
“This isn’t—”
“You’re not telling me what isn’t and what is! At seven you still wet yourself in the bed, you mother’s baby! All of your schoolmates were laughing at you! And your mother was constantly wiping your nose, because you couldn’t even blow it out properly! A ninny like you won’t be telling me what does and what doesn’t!”
The door across from mine opened. I could see through it the neighbors, looking out at what was happening here. Almost at the same time, I heard another door to the staircase opening. Probably after the recent burglary everyone was vigilant.
“Shut up, or I will evoke the law—”
“The law? You speak of law? You who were stealing in the middle school planks from the storage of the bazaar at Mezzo? You who boasted to your friends at school that you have tried smoking pot? As if I don’t remember how the school principal brought you home by the ear for breaking a room window with a ball? Or when you were trying to re-use bus tickets and got caught, and your mother had to pay a fine? Mention law once more, and I will be telling of your transgressions until tomorrow!”
I could see how the neighbor across from me laughed. His wife also looked amused.
“But what happens here smells of adultery—”
“Look who speaks of adultery! You who got yourself a mistress less than six months into your marriage! Wonder what she found into you! Given that your wife was complaining to the women at the hairdresser’s that you have the endurance of a rabbit, and the size too! Is that why you are trying to pull rank around here, to compensate for it?”
The entire staircase was already shaking with the laughter of the neighbors.
“Shut up, you old crone! Or I will—” His face was as red as a tomato.
“You will what, Mauritio Petrini? Remember what happened when you tried to beat another kid for his toy? Your mother dressed you in a dress of your sister and paraded you in front of all of us! And it fit you better than pants, I must say! Dare to threaten me once again, and I will call to all men here to hold you until I bring a dress of mine, to put it on you! And I will have them parade you in front of your uncle, the police commissary! With an explanation from me why you are getting this! Daring to threaten old women, and getting paraded in a dress for it? The media would love that! Hey, Annabella, I heard your laughter up there! Do you hear this? Call your brother to come here and get a lead for that investigative journalism group he works for!”
Next moment, the prick was already running downstairs. Nearly knocked Aunt Lauretta down while he was trying to squeeze past her.
“Don’t you dare to run from me, Mauritio Petrini! I know enough about your uncle too! How he finished with low grades at the police academy and got promoted by the connections of his mother! Try to get him into this, and I will see him in court and will say all that there! If he likes that, he is welcome, I am an old woman with few distractions in my life! And I will make sure to tell him he can say his thanks to you!…”
Comments
Rofl
Now that was funny
Thanks :)
That was one of the goals.
And I must say that Aunt Lauretta was thoroughly delighted to take this role. Mauritio Petrini has been a PITA to all since a kid, and she was glad for the opportunity to take a revenge on him.
Never underestimate the devastation an old goosip can unleash on even the most formidable fighters... :D
Aunt Lauretta
She certainly has him by his short hairs.
It seems it does not pay to mess around with well connected Italian women who knows all of your dark secrets.
That said, our young couple is getting adventurous. Not just gender fluid, maybe they might even become pansexual, at least with each other.
Finally, honestly, while there are rules against subleting apartments, he should at least consult with the lease holder to confirm that Lexis is Damiano's guest. He is such an incredible blowhard.
The blowhard
Yes, he is definitely that - if not worse. Guess what was his plan about Lexie...
But I think he will not try anything like that anytime soon, with anyone. :)
The wages of kindness
I love that Lexie and Carlo’s seeing Aunt Lauretta as a person payed off so spectacularly. But the wounded bully will find a way to make them pay, I fear.
Emma
Oh, he will surely think about it
But he also will know that if he tries just anything, Aunt Lauretta will bring the hell down on him. And on his connection, the police boss, informing him whom he owes that all to. Which might result in far less support for the prick, despite that he helps his relative in all ways he can - snitching, doing what little dirty work he can be trusted with etc... So I guess he would prefer to direct his intents somewhere else.
Not even speaking what might happen if certain mafia boss learns about him. That is not very likely, but still.
(If you happen to be curious what happened to the fine Mr. Santana from the Lombardy Directorate - I don't know how the news came to Puglisi. Certainly none in Montafun Statistics ratted him out. Looks to me more like that one of his colleagues finally learned what leverage might push that connected idiot out... This very day, after work, he found himself in the company of two really big men. Who very kindly explained him that continuing to work there is not good at all for his health.)