Statistically Speaking 22

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Statistically Speaking

By Marco Asemani

Edited by Patricia Marie Allen

Part 22

“I guess the bodysuit produces it like making hair and beard from our hair and skin cells. Or like your wetness during sex. But I don’t think one can get pregnant from it.”

“I very much hope I cannot,” I noted. We both laughed. “Though your stamina is amazing.”

“Bodysuit’s stamina. I am wiry for a girl, I hope, but no way to do that for so long without its help… What amazed me is that you got four orgasms. I have listened to a lot of sex – not by my choice – and I am yet to see a man get more than three in a row. Especially so strong ones, and only two days after having plenty of sex.”

“I guess their strength is due to the bodysuit. The first time I masturbated in it, the orgasm was just a bit stronger than otherwise, but since then it is stronger every time. I was afraid that the bodysuit somehow turns me into a real girl, but it looks like it tunes how it transmits the feelings, learning with the time how to achieve the most… And I also guess that this night it was your skill at sex too.”

“I can’t help but know what makes a girl feel good,” Carlo smiled. “And, before you ask, I felt great too. Way different than when I have sex as a girl, but as a whole even better…”

“If we don’t hurry up, we will be late for work,” I noted while putting on the tights. Then noticed that Carlo cannot tear his eyes off my legs. “Like what you see?”

“Umm…” Carlo blushed. “Frankly, I envy the grace you do it with. Like a ballet dancer. I know that is the bodysuit control of movements, but it still looks great… And there is a bit of other liking, a very strange one. Feeling not exactly aroused, but happy that my boyfriend, currently girlfriend, is so beautiful. Sounds twisted because I’m not into girls, but I know that it is really you and somehow being beautiful adds to liking you…” He blushed even more.

“And maybe because right now you don’t look like a girl and aren’t jealous of my looks?”

“Very true! And also, I look as a really handsome and charming man, a league far above what I am as a woman, on par with a beauty like you, and that brings self-confidence… To change the topic, young couples that like one another often trade barbs. Maybe it’s a good idea to make some show for the colleagues. Pretend that we don’t want them to hear, but actually speak just enough loud and so on.”

“I don’t know if I will be good at this.”

“Haven’t you dreamed to be an actress… argh, sorry! These bodysuits!…”

I couldn’t stop myself from giggling. Then noticed how girlish it sounds. And then that this doesn’t worry me at all. I had somehow lost my fear from being girlified. Probably because I already knew it will not happen, all I would ever need to be myself was just to take the bodysuit off.

“Let’s go, or we risk being late.”

* * *

When we entered the lobby, Mommy and Vinnie already waited for the elevator. Carlo nudged me slightly and pretended continuing to speak something already started:

“– And this is not okay. If we are going to be together—”

“Shhh, not in front of our colleagues!” I interrupted him and glanced at him with what I hoped to be a grave expression. Mommy and Vinnie stood with their backs to us, but their faces were reflected in the polished surface of the elevator door and I could see how they exchanged glances.

In the elevator, Carlo and I exchanged several hard looks for the benefit of the two women. After putting on the work uniforms, we went to the end of the lobby, as if to not be heard by the others, and started another exchange:

“And why you insisted on making a fancy breakfast? Sure, it was great, but we were almost late. If we weren’t lucky with the subway—”

“It’s not only my fault! Did you had to fix that door meanwhile?”

“It was just a couple of minutes of work—”

“Couple of minutes, no way! I know my way around tools, despite being a girl – that would be an hour of work for me! You are either damn lucky or dexterous as hell! Don’t do such things anymore!”

“Oooohh… Why you women always feel that they ought to run the home?”

“Because we know better at home! And not only there! And why you men always try to show off what can you do?”

“Because we can, unlike you!… Okay, let’s go work.”

“You are not getting away with this, mister! I will be reminding you of it for a long time!”

“Oooohhhh… women!”

When I entered The Boudoir, the women were exchanging glances, and I could feel them exchanging nods behind my back too. Good, I thought – obviously the performance we staged with Carlo was a good start!

“Is everything okay between you and Carlo?” Mommy asked carefully when I sat down. “I got the impression…”

“Oh, not a problem at all,” I replied cheerfully. “We just got delayed a bit, were almost late for work and were nervous about it. And Carlo was trying to be polite and avoid saying it directly.”

“Are you sure that it is nothing more? You sounded like something between you is wrong…”

“Absolutely nothing. And you know, men should be put to their place. Or they start to imagine they are the masters at home.”

I expected the women to snicker at this. To my surprise, all four spoke at the same time:

“Carlo deserves better than this. Give him a break—”

“Lexie, don’t be so nasty to Carlo! He is not the typical infantile boy—”

“T-t-this is n-not fair! He deserves b-b-better! D-don’t—”

“My advice is, learn to value him. Or you will lose him and it’ll be your fault.”

Aaaaarrrgh, that Carlo!

“Hey, I expected that you will support me!”

“We will, always” Mommy looked at me. “But know your place. When when you’re someone like Carlo, be understanding and kind.”

* * *

“That is the female solidarity for you” noted Carlo with sad irony in his voice. “But still, you got away easily. I was warned both by Filippo and by Nicola Petruccio that I should better be nice to you. More directly than you were.” He held one of the chairs around a small round table next to the huge window. “I had to promise that I will invite you to lunch at some good place as an apology for them to calm down a bit.” He took the chair opposite and looked at me with a smile. “But it still might be a good idea to have disagreements before them sometimes.”

“A bit nicer ones. Would be better for both of us.”

“Welcome to Tech Cafe! Would you like a menu?” a melodic voice said behind me.

“Yes, please.” Carlo had invited me to lunch in the cafe on the top floor of the mall next to the company. The view was really nice – the skyline of Milan, some white clouds against a brilliant blue sky…

A hand put a menu on the table before me. I looked at it and for a tenth of a second was about to jump. Then quickly looked at the waitress.

She was mechanical! Made to look like a beautiful teenage girl, but with slightly opened seams along her arms and face, through which shone metal. Probably to make sure that the customers know that she is not human and they don’t try to hide it.

“Thank you very much,” Carlo replied calmly. “I will have a piece of Pischinger cake and a Napolitano coffee.” He looked at me.

“Ughh… a fruit cake and a Coke for me, please.”

“Thank you, Miss. Thank you, Mister.” The robot curtsied slightly, took the menus back and walked away. I continued to look after her.

“Haven’t you heard they are using androids in all kinds of jobs?” Carlo asked.

“I had, but had never seen them myself before… Looks like more and more people will remain jobless. Maybe including us at some point. It’s not going to be good.”

“Don’t worry. Don’t you follow the discussions about introducing universal income?”

“Yes, I heard they plan to introduce something like that for the poor.”

“They plan to have it signed into law in about six months. But initially it will be small. It will take them probably 2-3 years before they increase it enough for people to live normally and cover everyone but the richest.”

“You think they will? Even providing for subsistence only will mean increasing the taxes on everybody who still makes their money, and that will be almost only the big companies, they will carry the brunt of it. They will lobby that away. Or do you expect them to be into charity?”

“They will have to cave. It is in their own interest. If people don’t have enough to spend, the businesses can’t sell enough to profit, it is a circle. Leave people on subsistence only, and 80%, maybe 90% of the big companies will go bankrupt. High taxes are bad, but going bankrupt is worse.”

“Isn’t this circle kinda perpetual motion machine?”

“Nope. Producing anything, good or services, is where you get out more than you put in and create surplus and profits. If you can’t sell, you don’t produce, no profits for you, not even income to support yourself. If all companies replace their workers with robots to not pay them and keep the money, nobody will be able to buy anything, all companies will go bankrupt. Better have this wheel rotating and giving the big owners less than everything, but enough for good existence and some profit on top of that, than stopping it and going penniless. Models show that with good universal income companies will get the same profits as now, or even better with an optimal balance…

“Thank you, Miss.” He moved slightly left to allow the robotic waitress to serve his cake too. Shame on me – I hadn’t done it while she served my food. I hadn’t even noticed her doing it.

“It is my pleasure, Mister. Have a good appetite, Miss, Mister.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “So it is matter of convincing the companies that they will profit this way and go bankrupt the other way?”

“Most already know it, including all bigger ones. The problem is, there are other things too. Fix who gets how much too strictly and there’s no development, you kill the progress. And the competition too, things start going down. Leave that too loose, and everybody is scared that they will be out-cheated or out-competed and bankrupted. Finding the balance is hard, finding a way to grant it and making the business trust this way is even harder. But it is the only option now, anything else leads in the abyss and all important people know it. So they will have to find such a way… Mmm, this cake is really good! You should try it.”

“Oh, such a high-calorie meal is for guys. We girls should watch out for our weight, the fruit cake is perfect for us.” I tried to hide my smile.

“So true! I see you have filled out your skirt in the last month. You probably will need to diet a bit, to take this extra kilogram off.”

“And you should eat more. I like you carrying me in your arms so much, and you will not have the strength to do it…”

“Really?” Carlo smiled, jumped from his chair, grabbed me in his arms and rotated with me. I could only shriek and grab his neck for support. The next moment I realized how girlish that had been, but didn’t care.

Nobody around understood why actually we were laughing so hard. They were seeing a happy boy carrying a happy girl in his arms. None of them knew that it is actually a girl enjoying a great physical strength that she hadn’t had before, that surely she had dreamed of, and a boy too confused to do anything but be happy with the pleasure his girl was getting.

And the strangest thing was, I wasn’t revolted from being carried in the arms of Carlo. Well, if that was someone other than him, I would not just be revolted – I would instantly beat the fucker into a pulp. I’d take out all my the pent-up frustration from having to be a girl on him… But that was actually Carla. The girl I liked so much. For her to enjoy strength, I would happily be carried as a girl. When she was doing it, I even liked it…

But wasn’t it exactly the same with every girl? Liking to be carried in the arms of her man, but hating the idea for someone else to grab her?… I didn’t feel a bit like a woman right now. Just happily did what would make my girl happy. Why it was the same that a woman would do? Despite that she would feel it differently, I guess? Were the sexes actually so similar, despite appearing so opposite?…

“So in several years we will be able to live off welfare? Sounds good, but we still need to make it until then,” I noted while we were coming out of the mall.

“Yeah. Looks like we still cannot afford to ditch the bodysuits,” Carlo replied while looking at a kid, running against us with an augmented reality set on his head. “We should try and prepare the company for this somehow, but so far I don’t have a clue even where to start…”

I didn’t either. No matter how much I dreamed to be myself full-time and carry Carla in my arms, that would have to wait. And would require a lot of thinking and inventiveness.

* * *

After coming to work Wednesday, when we were about to start out scripting lesson, there was a knock on the door. I went and opened it. There was standing Nicola Petruccio.

“May I help with something, Mr. Petruccio?”

“Ladies, you can all help.” He smiled widely. “Yesterday I became a grandfather! So I am providing a lunch to all my colleagues. Be at “Piccola Calabria” at noon, that is two blocks down the street!

“Hoorah for Grandpa Nicola!” I heard the voice of Mommy behind me. “Boy or girl?”

“Girl. But the next one might be a boy.” Petruccio smiled again.

“Congratulations, Mr. Petruccio!” I hurried up. My voice was joined by everyone else in the room.

“May you invite us when you become great-grandfather,” Carlo added. “And when you become great-great-grandfather too!”

“I promise to!” Petruccio nodded to us all. “Come hungry!”

The restaurant turned out to be small but cozy and somehow homey. We ordered and had started eating when I felt a slight nudge from Carlo. Looked at him – he barely noticeably winked at me. Hmm… What argument I could think of, to make it nice?

“Isn’t it better to, um, pay professionals to renovate the kitchen? Okay, I know you are skilled at such things, but still—” I said to him quietly, as if trying to not be heard by the others.

“If you know it, then why object? Don’t you trust me? Or you just want to have it your way?”

“Hey, stop thinking that women always seek to boss men around!… And, if you want to know, the kitchen is the woman’s domain! Let it be my way!”

I noticed from the corner of my eye Mommy and Lu exchanging meaningful glances. Good!

“I can make it in any way you want! Why don’t you trust me? I know you have a better taste than mine, I’m just a techie. And it is not like we have the money to renovate it—”

“Don’t even think of taking that second job, I forbid you! I don’t care that they offer you a lot!”

“Hey, we could use these money and that is my time and effort, not yours! You again are trying to boss me around! Women…”

“I want some of your time for myself too! Do you men ever think of your wives? We are humans too, you know! Men…”

“Why then you don’t accept my help with washing dishes, cleaning, laun—”

“This is woman’s work! A woman that has her man do the house work is a spoiled brat that doesn’t deserve to have a man!”

“Then why did you get angry when I refused your help with fixing the wardrobe? Men who have their girls fix and make things at home are sissies! Sorry, I am not one of them!”

Was Carla hinting that I am a sissy for letting her fix the vacuum cleaner at home? That was not fair.

“And I am not a spoiled brat and will not allow you touch the household chores! Do not expect me to be that! No decent woman would permit that!” I had the right to pick at her for never objecting to me sharing the chores.

“We live in modern times, it is OK for men to help women. The other way round is not so. Women have to care for so many more things – appearance, clothes, hygiene, everything. Men get it so easy, it is a total shame if they don’t help.”

I noticed Grace nodding with admiration to Lu, and my mood soured further. For them, it looked that Carlo is oh so noble and decent. In reality, Carla was trying to tell me that I owe her help just for being a man. Yes, I liked her more than any girl I had ever seen, but this still was not right!

“Nothing like that! Whatever takes some strength, men get to do it, women just stand aside and encourage them. And then wonder why men are tired when they get home. “Darling, go to the shop and buy 20 kilograms of stuff, I love you very much!” Sandra had done this with me more times than I could count.

“Yep, sure. Men get tired and women don’t. They aren’t so strong physically, even a little physical work can be exhausting and men don’t care about that. Same for shopping groceries and so on. If all men understood that, women would be so much closer to actual equality!”

“There will never be actual equality when women can give birth. Yes, raising a child is a huge responsibility and effort, but men usually are willing to shoulder all they can do, put in the same amount of effort. And they even sometimes do it. But if a woman decides, she can extort them with divorcing and denying them access to children, and these children are their own too. It is not just!”

“I agree, it is not just.” Was Carlo trying to calm down the things? “But most women are decent humans, and will not use that against a decent man. Or anything else. I know that women are not always into having sex, but sometimes do it just to have their man satisfied and happy… Much like men sometimes do it for their girls, if they are able to.”

I didn’t remembered Sandra having sex with me if she wasn’t in a mood to. But… was that true? Knowing how socially clumsy I was before the bodysuit opened my eyes, was it possible that she had had sex with me and pretended to be in the mood just to satisfy me? Maybe many times, without me realizing it?…

“True. But if a man likes a woman, he would do that for her too. Women are also human and might feel need for sex too, right?”

“I guess so… But let’s eat, everybody is already finishing with the lunch and we barely started it.”

I ate, pretending to not pay attention to the others around, but at the same time trying to watch them. They looked like our banter has been their main show. Women exchanged looks and hushed words. Men were looking at both me and Carlo with expressions of sympathy, admiration, even awe. I suppressed a smile. Mission accomplished!

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Comments

Behavior

So, in general, women and men have different vocal intonations and inflections that identifies their gender.

So, the suit is taking what they say and massaging it into a different intonation? That would be totally weird as their is no way for the suit to know the intent of that speech. Let's say Lexie tries to parody a mans' voice but the suit would prevent her from doing that, that would impede her ability to communicate.

Similarly for Carlo, if Carla had a typical feminine emphasis pattern than he would come across as gay or something.

For trans women, even if one were to have vocal surgery to raise their voices, it would still take time to relearn how to speak in the cadence and inflection of their new gender.

It is less of a problem for transmen as they do not need vocal surgery but Carlo in a sense has.

Anyway, while the repartee between them to make them seem more like a couple I think it is unnecessary as they are so early in their relationship.

Their is a reason why there is a honeymoon period for couples and early on in a relationship, both sides of a couple are usually on their best behavior anyway.

Finally, obviously there is a lot of suspension of disbelief for this story but the pelvic structure for women and men are generally different (I apparently have something like in-between) but it would be interesting to find what is supposed to be an exterior alteration to mechanically alter motion that is inherent deep in the body.

Suspension of disbelief

Every story needs that. And TG stories often need it more than most. :) But there are other things too.

If Lexie tries to parody a man's voice, she will have to do the same as a woman who tries that. The result might be less convincing, given that the bodysuit's voice is exageratedly feminine, but it would be clear what she is trying to do. (And the result being unconvincing would affect the people around to think that she is too feminine to even be able to imitate a man properly.)

The inflection and emphasis is something the suit takes care of, by being programmed to look for certain patterns in the wearer's speech and modifying them accordingly, to make the result even exagerated a bit towards the opposite sex. In very rare cases the result might be less than perfect, but these would usually be attributable to throat problems or another innocent excuse.

The pelvic structure of women and men is indeed different, and their nervous system is different too when it comes to intercourse. The bodysuit does a hell lot there to ensure its functions. What the wearers get as a feeling is still not exactly what the other sex gets, but is close enough to be satisfactory. Ditto for the mechanics: for example, the vagina of Lexie is actually not inside the body of Damiano, but under his pelvis (which is compressed at appropriate places to make room for it).

All this is possible because the bodysuits are designed by a very powerful AI. No team of human engineers will be able to design even one of its functions within a lifetime, or even understand how most of them work, that is the complexity level of the bodysuit and its design.

Also, no team of human medics or biologists will be able to collect and process all the knowledge needed to design the fully reversible, non-surgical modifications of the body of the wearer needed for many of the functions. Some of them appear simple, but are actually really complex, like eg. decreasing the size of Damiano's feet and hands by two sizes without actually harming them, even if the bodysuit is worn for a very long time.

Finally, a lot of the changes the bodysuit does rely on appearance effects too. For example, Carlo appears muscular almost like a weightlifter, while in reality has the build of a short to medium distance runner - the difference is due to perfectness and some subtle play of proportions. Or, Damiano's shoulders are comressed to make them appear narrower, but after that they appear still narrower than they were brought to, thanks to some visual effects. (And Lexie still appears slightly athletic.) Also, the vagina of Lexie creates the impression of going higher up than it actually does.

Interesting

Emma Anne Tate's picture

I enjoyed the discussion about UBI. It’s certainly one of the rosier scenarios of increasing reliance on AI. We’ll see!

Damiano and Carla are being to clever, what with their staged arguments and all. The first rule of deception is to keep it simple!

Emma

UBI

I personally am not a fan as it can really encourage slothiness among the population where a 'just good enough' 'beach bum' life is okay.

Counter arguments are that it will free people for other pursuits that AI can't do.

Problem is the vast majority of an AGI dominated society would be frankly just dead weight.

There would be no differentiators between people really.

It is not coincidence that stress (e.g. wars) provides incentive for progress.

Dead weight

The vast majority of the society is just that now too. Tons of jobs that are not really needed, just to keep people occupied...

The good part is, some people will never agree to be dead weight. They will flock to the jobs that still require a human. And if these become too few for them, they would just do nice and beautiful things, bringing pleasure to the others.

Keep it simple

True - but the first rule of storytelling is that characters do mistakes. :D