Part 13

“Do you want to start the day with a lesson on scripting?” I asked, while entering our room. “Huh? What are these envelopes?” On each of our desks there was a nicely looking envelope.

“Invitations to the birthday of The Boss,” Mommy explained. “Every year he invites all workers in the company to a dinner in a restaurant.”

I opened mine. There was a single sheet of glossy paper inside, with nicely printed text:

“Dear Ms. Manzoni,

It is a pleasure for me to invite you to a modest dinner. It will take place tomorrow evening, in “Palladio” at 79 Carlo Colodi St., 21:00. If you have a significant other, they are welcome too.

With kindest regards,

Sergio Montafun”

Significant other? Now they will start asking me again…

“Ummm, Vinnie, do you have someone to invite?” I didn’t dare to even think about asking Grace.

“N-no…”

“Don’t worry, girls. For all I know, Tony and Gab don’t have significant others too. You can pair with them.”

“B-but do we have to p-pair? Can’t we just come and b-be there?”

“After the dinner, there usually is some dancing,” Mommy noted. “So you will have to dance with someone.”

“I c-c-c-c-can’t d-d-d-dance! N-n-not with my l-l-leg!” Vinnie was on the verge of crying.

“You can come in a long dress or skirt, no need to show it,” Lu tried to calm her.

“I l-l-l-l-l-limp! C-c-c-c-c-can’t h-h-hide it! T-t-t-they will b-b-b-e r-r-revolted!” Tears streaked down on Vinnie’s face.

This was absolute nonsense!… How to calm her? I had to…

“Do not worry at all, Vinnie. No man will be revolted by you. Even if you limped much more than now. I am sure about it.”

“H-h-h-how c-c-could you b-b-be s-sure?”

“I, ummmmm… I have, ummmm, I have seen many times groups coming up the mountain to the rescue station. With boys and girls… They often dance together… There have been girls who limp…” Suddenly a memory dashed through my head. “A year ago, there was a girl who didn’t had a leg at all, had a prosthesis instead. She danced with several boys, and all of them were happy to dance with her. And you worry about some limping that is really hard to notice!”

“But… but wouldn’t t-t-they be revolted that I’m d-d-disabled?”

“Most men will not even notice it. They aren’t as observational as women.”

“And they tend to observe in women things other than limping,” Lu interjected.

“No real man will ever be revolted by this!” I put the dot over the “i”.

“Says the real man,” Lu winked. All women exploded with laughter, including Vinnie. The first moment I nearly jumped with offense. Luckily, managed to calm myself and to join the laughter. After all, to them it surely this joke looked funny, given my appearance.

And to me it looked partially true, too. Carlo had showed to me how far from a real man I am. And taking an offense about it only proved that. I had raised the topic that hurt Vinnie – I owed her apologies and support. And, instead of about her, I was thinking of myself only…

I was indeed behaving like a spoiled princess. One with male parts instead of female. And even that only when not in the bodysuit…

“Lexie is right,” Grace nodded. “If someone wouldn’t take you because of a bad leg, then they aren’t someone you’d want to be with, even if you were perfectly healthy.”

“B-but—”

“Just come, Vinnie. I am sure that you will enjoy it,” nodded Mommy.

I felt relief – the topic had switched away from me.

Turned out, not for long.

“Do you have an official dress, Lexie?”

A wave of dread splashed over me. There were plenty of scenes in rom-coms with official events, and women always wore gowns that appeared so inconvenient and revealing…

Yes, I already had worn a short dress. And actually, it would reveal Lexie, not me!

But why then I was so embarrassed about wearing one? Worrying that I could be exposed, that I would be considered easy, that men might take advantage on me? For whatever’s sake, that would be Lexie, not me, and she was only an appearance, a masquerade! She didn’t actually exist! I was not her!

Yet, I felt at this moment being no one else but Lexie. Damiano right now was someone else. Again me, but another me. One that right at this moment I wasn’t, judging by my own thinking.

What happened to me?!

I knew that there are trans people. Ones born into the body of the other sex. That actually belonged to the sex they felt as…

But I was not trans! I was happy to be male. Especially after learning what is to be a woman. And that from getting only a small, inhumanly idealized part of what being a woman actually is…

… Mommy is waiting for an answer!

“Ummm, I don’t, but I will buy one… I agree, a girl has to have one, official events happen…”

“Wise decision,” Mommy smiled. “Do you need help choosing it?”

“Umm, I think I will be more comfortable choosing it myself. You know, I am a bit shy…”

“To say the least,” Lu laughed. “Good that you are a girl. I can’t imagine how you would survive if you were a boy.”

The other women giggled. One more thing to think about, I noted for myself bitterly.

Did this bodysuit mess with my thinking somehow?

* * *

“Hello… I don’t have an appointment – can you help me, please? I have to go to an official event, and want to get an appropriate make-up…”

“You don’t look like you need make-up at all, sweetie,” smiled the woman near the door. “Hmm. How official it is?”

“The birthday of my boss. He invited me to a restaurant…”

“Oh, I am getting it. Being serviced without an appointment will cost you 20% above our usual fee, but I will try my best to give you the value for it. Please, come and sit on this chair… I will have to remove first these traces of make-up, may I do it?”

“Of course…”

Buying the dress wasn’t easy at all. Lucia did a lot to help me, but all official dresses that did not revealed nearly all of my body turned out to be for women over 50. Finally, I had to settle on a style that was very narrow below the hips, but showed less than all of my breasts and legs. That is, these of the bodysuit. While walking, one leg came out of it through a slit on the side – still, showing one leg is less than showing both legs and most of the breasts too.

In less than an hour they delivered it to the shop, and the entire evening I practiced putting it on and moving with it. Luckily, I already had some experience with walking in heels. Still, it was as inconvenient as everything that passed for female garb. On top of all, I didn’t dare to practice in front of the mirror – that likely would give me a raging arousal again, with no way to relieve it. Damn…

The real nightmare however was the make-up. I tried putting some on a dozen of times, invariably turning my face into a horror. On top of all, it was hard to wipe off, I spent all the kitchen rolls and most of the toilet paper I had on this. When the clock chimed 20:00, I abandoned the idea and took a taxi to the cosmetics studio Vinnie had mentioned before. Luckily, they had a free slot…

“Wow, I had never seen before a skin so perfect that it doesn’t need foundation at all. What skin care you use, sweetie? If not a secret?”

“I don’t use any… Ummmm, well, just a bit of,” whatwasitcalled, “moisturizer… And a fruit mask once a week, a secret recipe of my grandmother…” I frantically tried to remember things I had watched in movies or heard from the women at work.

“If you decide to spill the secret, I would love to learn it, sweetie…”

God I hate lying! Even when they don’t catch me!

She finished my make-up only 15 mins to nine. I threw the money at her and bolted out, refusing the offer to review my look and make adjustments. Again luckily, a taxi stopped almost immediately for me, and the driver was unbelievably nice, driving like mad to get me at the restaurant in time. At 21:00 exactly, I was there.

* * *

The first thing I realized when I entered was that I should have checked my appearance. Maybe skipped coming at all. Whatever I looked like, it had everyone staring at me. Most men were nearly salivating.

What had they done to me at the make-up studio?! It was a good idea to visit the restroom and to take a look in the mirror.

The first to tear out of the trance was The Boss.

“Good evening, Ms. Manzoni. Please be welcome.” He invited me with a gesture around a long table. On it there were luxury labels with the names of the company personnel. Of course, my place was next to that of Carlo, who quickly rose up and held the chair for me. Realizing that it would be impolite to skip him and go to the restroom, I thanked and sat down, my face burning.

After a minute I tried to quietly sneak away, but was caught by Mommy and Nicola Petruccio delivering together birthday congratulations to The Boss. After the end of their speech and the applauding, I looked again for an opportunity to get to the restroom, only to be interrupted again by a host of waiters carrying big dishes.

I didn’t know exactly what the first thing they served was. Judging by the taste, it had meat in it, several kinds of cheese, a number of species and other things. And was a heaven for the palate, I had never eaten something so tasty. Silently cursed the damned lipstick I had to keep from smearing, and the damned bodysuit that was constricting my gut. There was no room in me for half of what was on my plate, let alone of all the side things that came with it. God, what a privilege was to be male! Even in something as simple as a dinner!

The wine was really good too. However, I only dared to smell it a few times and to carefully take a small sip once. If I got drunk in this situation…!

After the dessert – incredibly exquisite parfait – the lighting was dimmed a bit and the music switched to night blues. Just when I somehow overcame the feeling of bliss and started looking for an appropriate moment to excuse myself, The Boss rose up and proclaimed:

“Be welcome to dance! Would you accept my invitation, darling?” He turned to the woman his age, sitting next to him.

She also rose up from her chair:

“Of course, darling!”

The two of them came at the middle of the empty space next to the table, hugged one another and started dancing slowly with the music.

Looking at them, I could only sigh and smile. Beyond seventy, they still loved one another. Would I ever be able to find a girl with whom to get old together, loving one another, dancing happily despite the age?

Did I deserve one? Would I ever be a man enough to deserve this?

I hoped so. I was not perfect – but I could learn… And find some girl whom I would love…

“Lexie, would you accept my invitation for this dance?”

Aaaaaargggghhhh!… What an irony – while dreaming for a girl, to be reminded that you are someone’s girl for this evening! Even if that is Carlo!

But, after all, that was an opportunity to learn how to be a real man.

And, frankly, Carlo deserved to be with the best girl ever. And I was good-looking, if nothing else. Sigh… I only hoped that he will see me as just an in-between romance, will not become infatuated with me, will not be hurt when one day I finally drop the damned disguise.

“Ummm, yes… But please be aware that I have no clue about dancing…”

“Neither do I, to my shame. You know, we geeks aren’t very apt socially. Please accept my apologies…”

Well, if Carlo’s socials amounted to inaptness, then mine were a tragedy. I followed him to the dance floor. Most of the company was already there.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Lu and her husband. They obviously were both good dancers, mixing effortlessly styles, from dancing club to medieval. I tried to copy them, and quickly noticed that Carlo watched and copies them too.

To my great surprise, neither of us stepped on the other’s toes and we did pretty well. (Apart from a couple of moments when I felt, let’s call it slight inconvenience.) Actually, I had danced before few times with Sandra, but wasn’t good at all. With more than a little shame, I realized that I danced as a woman better than as a man.

Could that be due to the bodysuit’s “adjustment of movements”? It surely had a role too. And Carlo was much stronger than I was, handling me much easier than I could handle Sandra. With even more shame I had to admit that dancing with him had no sexual element for me, but was still pleasant.

And again, there was plenty to learn from him in this dance. He always thought first of my convenience and protection. The perfect man indeed. The women at work were so right – the girl that could woo him would be the happiest woman ever…

At the end of the dance, I suddenly noticed four people still sitting around the table – Vinnie, Grace, Gab and Tony. Suddenly I felt pity for them. Carlo followed my gaze, looked at me and sighed. Obviously he also was not happy with leaving them behind.

“Carlo, what about inviting them for the next dance? They deserve some of it too.”

“I thought the same, but… won’t you be jealous?”

“Of course not!… Well, at least if you aren’t jealous,” I tried to play along.

“Well, we aren’t officially together. How could I be jealous, if you choose someone else?”

“You expected me to be jealous about you, right?” I pointed out, happy that I had caught him. Only the next moment I realized how that must have sounded from a beautiful girl and felt blushing.

Carlo nodded and smiled, then turned towards the table. Obviously we weren’t the only ones having pity for those around it – Filippo was already inviting Vinnie. She hesitated for some time, but finally rose up and followed him. Meanwhile, Lu invited Gab, who clumsily followed.

Carlo went to Grace and offered her a hand. She looked really surprised, then glanced carefully at me. I smiled and nodded her. She looked for a couple of seconds at me, then rose up and followed Carlo. It was impossible to tell for sure, due to the amount of make-up on her face, but I think I noticed a slight blush.

The only one who remained around the table was Tony. I felt revulsion at the thought of touching him, let alone dancing with him. Luckily, he appeared completely focused on his phone, oblivious to everything around him. Maybe I could find some excuse to not dance with him…

The restroom! I must see how I look!

I almost ran to the restrooms. Initially tried to barge into men’s – luckily, it was empty and I realized my mistake still at the door. Rushed into ladies’ and jumped to the mirror.

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

From the mirror at me looked an embodiment of seduction. The perfectness of my appearance – bodysuit’s, that is – was upgraded with a ton of sexual attractiveness. I don’t know if I would be able at all to not hit on such a girl, if she was around me.

Why the hell had that woman in the make-up studio done that to me?! Had I told her any goddamn women’s hint that I want so, without suspecting it? What I had told her?…

That I am going to a dinner, on invitation from my boss, for his birthday. And that I need a make-up appropriate for this…

And she had done the best for me that she could think of…

I exploded with laughter, having to lean on the sink to keep my balance on the heels. Even the view of the girl in the mirror, made even more attractive by her laughing, couldn’t stop me.

So that was why I had felt the erection of Carlo. And, despite being inconvenienced by it, I couldn’t stop myself from admiring his self-control. I didn’t know if in his place I would be able to restrain myself from stealing a touch. It surely costed him a hell of an effort, but he didn’t do it.

God, what I have entangled myself into! How did I managed every time to only dig myself in deeper and deeper? What was the chance of it? Statistically speaking?

And now they are waiting for me to return. With the damned make-up on, of course… I quickly checked it in the mirror. Either I had somehow managed to not smear it, or – more likely – that woman had used some kind of make-up that didn’t smear easily. Great thanks, Signora…

The celebration was obviously near its end. As I took my place beside the table, The Boss thanked us all for honoring his birthday and wished us good evening.

When we came outside, I felt a light touch on my shoulder:

“Lexie, would you allow me to call a taxi and accompany you home? Just to be sure that you will be back safely?”

All the women were around, watching me. Shit!…

“Ummm, yes, of course… Thank you, Carlo!…”

When we arrived, I thanked Carlo once more. While coming out of the taxi, I heard him telling the driver to wait until I get inside the building. A real man indeed. I had so much to learn from him…

When I finally entered my apartment, I suddenly felt tired as hell. Kicked the heels off, wriggled out of the damned dress and dropped on the bed like a sack of potatoes. This day was over, but not before being almost too much for me.