Part 11

The next couple of days the women discussed for all the day only how stupid I should be to not go for Carlo, and how stupid he should be to not go for me. Even when I was in the restroom, I eavesdropped – the topic was the same. Again, I heard Grace to say that I am likely lesbian, because of not going for Carlo. And that he is for sure gay, or trans, or worse if he doesn’t go for me as soon as possible.

I was just about to erupt at that, but then remembered that Grace is maybe not really nasty – just very, very bitter, likely for a reason. And instead of anger I felt pity for her. But also noted that this time the other women appeared much closer to agreeing with her, and this again made me edgy.

And the next morning things took the turn I was afraid of. About an hour after starting work, Carlo entered our room. Came to my desk, smiled and asked politely:

“Lexie, could you teach me some statistics? The computer system of the company is already in a good shape and I have plenty of free time. Could use it to help the work with simple things.”

“Of course.” The moment I said it, I noticed how carefully all women pretend to be head deep in work and not notice our talk.

“Would you permit me as a compensation to invite you to a dinner? For example, are you free this evening? They have a free table for two at Portobello’s, I just checked. We could go, say, at 9pm?”

I gulped. How to refuse him?

Suddenly I was aware that all women listen carefully what I will answer. Grace was halfway to guessing about my masquerade, and the other women were starting to believe her…

“Ummmmm, yes, I will be free.” I would find some way to untangle myself from this later. Even in the steepest mountain, there is always more than one route. Some might be hard, but if you have no choice, you take them.

“Where you would prefer us to meet? I can pick you up from home.”

“Oh, don’t bother, I can easily come to the restaurant myself. Umm, 9pm there?”

“Yes. I will reserve the table to our names.”

The moment he closed the door, all women started speaking at the same time:

“Congratulations! You had him make the first move, now all you need is to follow!”

“Portobello’s? This is not a cheap place at all. He must value you highly.”

“G-g-go get him! He is yours, L-lexie! Go!”

“And don’t forget to get a pack of condoms. A man like him would have thought of that, but still…”

I nearly froze. Having sex as a girl?!?! I remembered the manual of the damned bodysuit saying that you could have sex in it exactly like a real woman. And that you would feel even better than one. But there was no way I would do that if the hell freezes over. As if everything else was not enough…

“Umm, I believe that a girl shouldn’t have sex the first time she goes out with a guy,” I feverishly started remembering excuses from rom-com movies. “It can be considered indecent. Oh, and he might start believing that I am easy, and lose respect for me…”

Grace lifted up a brow. I prepared to hear something nasty, but she supported me instead:

“Lexie is right. Carlo must be mad to not wait a few dates for sex if he wants a girl like her. And if he wouldn’t wait, then he is nothing like what he appears to be. A good test for him”

“Ummm, that is true, and ummm, I am not ready for being with a man yet.” To say the least, I thought. “Wouldn’t it be better to wait a bit that? I could tell Carlo that I got a problem—”

“Don’t be afraid, Carlo is so tactful! There is no way he will force you to be close with him.”

“What h-has to come, will come. D-don’t be afraid, Lexie.”

“And when it comes, you will like it, trust me…”

“Better go, even if you are not ready. If he is as decent a man as he looks… And don’t forget the condoms.”

They were right about one thing. Carlo definitely would never force himself on me. And being with him for a dinner meant that I would be able to learn things about how a real man should behave. I knew I was lacking social skills – this was an opportunity to catch up with them.

And, most definitely, I didn’t needed condoms, there was absolutely no way I could get pregnant. Poor women were who had to think about this too, and to take measures about it.

How much easier was my life than theirs, even as Lexie! How privileged I was, compared to them!

I snapped out of my thoughts, to find a silence. All women were looking at me.

“Okay, I will go.”

And will then seek a way to get out of this mess.

* * *

“Ummm, are you sure that I need to—”

“Of course! That’s why he gave you three hours after work! You don’t want to go on a date in your everyday clothes, do you?”

What the hell was wrong with a blouse, skirt and heels? I had seen so many times girls going with boys in jeans and sneakers! And I sure as hell wouldn’t pay attention what clothes the girl I meet wears...

“Well, umm, aren’t they good enough for a date? They are my best—”

“For a first date?! Not even close!” Mommy stated categorically.

“That is why you must buy something better! Do it, or else we will buy it for you!”

“Lu is right. You always care for everyone. We learned this lesson – it is time now for us to help you.”

“D-down there, couple of b-blocks from our building, t-there is a professional makeup studio. You c-could use them before going to the r-restaurant.”

“Do you think I need to?” Oh God!!!

“For a first date – absolutely! No matter how perfect is your appearance. This is how you show to a man that you honor his advances.”

I was sure that 99% of men would not get this specific hint. But Carlo… who knows? If he is so tactful and smart…

“Okay, I will consider it.” Hopefully they wouldn’t know that I skipped it.

“Great!… This is the shop I was talking about. Come in!”

“Ummmm… It looks expensive… Could I buy after work a dress from a shop near my place, I know it—”

Mommy turned back to me:

“Lexie, you are very intelligent, but not very experienced with men. Please, let me do for you what I did for my own daughter. What your mother would do for you if she was alive. What every mother does for her daughters, and every girl needs to be done for her. Where else you will get what you need to deal with men?”

Uncle Franco had never taught me how to deal with women, and I was pretty sure that most fathers never do it. However, who could guess what women will do?… I followed them inside.

“Okay, let’s see… What about this dress? This shade of burgundy would go very well with your hair color, and will set off your eyes.”

“Ummm, isn’t it too… open? And a bit short—”

“What’s wrong with mid-thigh? We are not in Saudi Arabia!” Lu cut in.

“You need to signal to Carlo that you aren’t an ice queen, but know very well the great value of your beauty,” stated Mommy gravely. “And that you have the self-confidence to show it, and he shouldn’t take you for granted.”

God, how many hints and signals the women have to send… and the men never notice!

“Or, what about this? A bit daring for a first date, but great!”

“Uh… isn’t that an underwear?…” Seeing their faces, I quickly corrected myself. “I mean, if I bent just a little, everyone around will see my private parts—”

“You will not bend, of course! And see how much leg it shows, with your legs it will be a benefit.”

“With my breasts too?” I was about to explode.

“Of course! Ever noticed where the eyes of the men are all the time?…”

“I did, but… It is not the most pleasant thing, at least to me…” Suddenly it came to me that if so many women wear so revealing outfits, they must find something in that. “Um, of course, that has its advantages, but still… I am a bit, umm, conservative. Would prefer a bit more modesty for a first date…”

“Okay, okay, you blushing flower. Grown among men, and yet having no clue how they perceive women. Hope Carlo has the patience with you… Let’s say that it is not time yet for the little black dress.”

The little black dress from the rom-coms? Not time YET?! That is…?!

“But we are taking the burgundy dress. Try it, I want to see if it fits you well!”

I went to the dressing room, clenching teeth. To my surprise, the dress fit me like a glove. The only problem was how short it was. And how open. It was impossible to pull it up enough to cover my breasts. The breasts of the bodysuit, that is. And if I tried to pull it even a centimeter down, to cover my legs just a tiny bit better, the breasts would pop out of it. No matter how carefully I tried, the result was always that. And women call this a clothing!

After my experience with women and this bodysuit, I was starting to understand why they inflict that on themselves. They needed to feel valued and appreciated in a world, made by and for men. To the degree of willing to use their bodies and themselves as playthings and pleasure objects for men…

I remembered how I approached Sandra for sex every time I wanted it, and how rarely she refused me. Only when she was on her period, thinking of it… Was I a sex god that is never refused by women? Certainly not. Surely she just accepted and tolerated sex that she didn’t want, just to please me. And I never even guessed it. Some man I was. Not only Carlo – likely most men were better than me.

Or most men were indeed pigs. Without even realizing it…

There was a delicate knock on the door.

“L-l-lexie, are you o-okay?”

“Yes, yes, just coming out…”

The women met me with huge smiles.

“You are stunning!” Mommy exclaimed. “Do you like how you look in it?”

Shit! There was a mirror in the dressing room, but I didn’t think to check my appearance!

“Ummm, yes…”

“Yes only? Hell yes! Give us a strut!… Yes! You look so good in it! Carlo would be madly in love with you, that is for granted!”

Goshhh… What I tangled myself into? Wouldn’t even the prison be a better idea?

Maybe not. From what I had read about prisons, I would be used for sex there too. Even as a male. By guys far less polite and nice than Carlo.

Here I could think of some way to get out of all this. Drop the job and disappear. Throw out the damned bodysuit…

But it would be nice to put some money aside first. Hold on for a month at least. Two if possible. These times…

And to stay for longer in disguise, for the case the intelligence guys are still after me!

“Higher heels would go with this dress even better, Lexie. Buy a pair?”

“No wa… that is, not yet! I, ummm, I still cannot walk well in them. Wouldn’t like to fall, or even break a leg. Umm, especially not on a first date…”

“She’s good like this too, Lu.”

“Yes, she would be stunning even in military boots, but still…”

While pretending to catwalk, I had reached another mirror. And just couldn’t take my eyes off the girl in it. She was… stunning didn’t even started to describe it. “Perfect” was the exact word. Beauty and femininity embodied. God, I would do anything to have her for a girlfriend.

But she could be anyone’s except mine. And could exist only if I was her. And Carlo would likely also be ready to do anything to have her. That is, me. As her…

If there was a circle in Hell for the womanizers, they surely would be locked there in such bodysuits. Or maybe they were in Heaven, serving as escorts for the most highly deserving people. That should be why Dante didn’t describe them in “Inferno”…

“Don’t worry, Lexie! Whatever it is, I bet that men will never notice it! Even Carlo will not!” Mommy said encouragingly.

“Umm, yes, I am sure… Just thinking of, umm, work…”

“Thinking of work now? Girl, you are crazy! Try better this dress here too, one is absolutely not enough, this surely will not be your last date!”

“Ummm… This one is even shorter!”

“Well, it is not as short as the LBD. And you will need a shorter dress for the next dates, wouldn’t you?”

“Ummmm, sure, I likely would—”

“Finally! Are you still sure that you do not want higher heels?…”

While returning to the office, I was thinking how small the problem with wearing a dress was, compared to the mess I was about to fall in.

After all, a dress was not that different from a skirt suit, and I was already used to these…

* * *

I arrived at the restaurant exactly on time. Turned out, Carlo was already waiting for me.

“Thank you for coming, Lexie! Would you please come in?”

At the table reserved for us, Carlo held a chair for me. I felt like an impostor and surely blushed, but there was no way to prevent it. So I did what I hoped a girl should do – sat down, smiled and thanked him. Before he could take his seat, a uniformed waiter was already standing next to us and waiting patiently.

“The dinner is on me – no objections accepted!” stated Carlo. “As a compensation for your lessons on statistics.”

I sighed silently and smiled and thanked again. Ordered chicken soup and salad only – it wouldn’t be fair to abuse Carlo’s kindness.

“Are you sure, Lexie? Wouldn’t you like a fried salmon filet too, they are famous for it here? Or—”

“No, thank you. You see, ummmm, I have to watch out for my weight. You know, we girls do…” Pretending so explicitly to be a girl was still embarrassing.

“Do not worry at all. If a man will not love you because of even the biggest weight gain, he does not deserve you,” Carlo smiled.

And I would swear that he is being absolutely honest. An incredible man…

“Thank you again, Carlo…” I suddenly realized that this goes more date-y than I wanted. “Would you want to have a talk about statistics while our orders arrive?”

“Of course!”

I had barely explained the very basics of the statistics when the food arrived. It was really good, I didn’t even dare to think how costly it was. Poor Carlo… And he was incredibly good at keeping company. As good as the best gentlemen from the rom-com movies, if not even better. A real girl would likely be as relaxed and happy around him as one could ever be. Even I was, despite being edgy in this situation.

Did the damned bodysuit affect my thinking too? If I was into men, I would already be in love with Carlo. Even without that, I felt him as a great friend. Hell, I felt guilty for not being a real woman for him. He absolutely deserved the best girl ever. The women at work were so right, he was indeed the perfect man.

Unlike me. There was so much I could learn from him about being a man!

And I learned. Tried to notice and remember every little gesture of his. And most of all, how he really thought of me instead of himself, in everything. I remembered how often I thought of myself instead of thinking of Sandra, and felt a wave of shame. What a poor excuse of a man I was, compared to Carlo!