My head had barely touched the pillow when my phone rang. First time in almost a year… Massimo? Is there some problem with my registration?! That is, Lexie’s?

“Yes?”

“… Sorry, I might have mistaken the number. I seek Damiano Rossi.”

Shit!

“Umm, he… he is, ummmmm, a friend of mine. Was here until an hour ago and forgot his phone… I believed it might be him calling from somewhere, seeking where he forgot it…”

“No problems, Miss… Alexandra, if my memory doesn’t slip?”

“Yes…”

“He mentioned you to me several times. Said that you are incredibly beautiful.”

“Oh, it… it is, um, not so… he must have just been polite…” I smugly noted to myself that it actually is true, I was incredibly beautiful!… But that is not me, Lexie is… But she is my girlfriend, so… But that is not really true… My poor head!

“Do you know if he will return to fetch the phone this evening?”

“Ummm… likely no, he was pretty tired… Why don’t you try to call him by Net? He has a screen at home, I think…” Oops! What I should have been doing at Damiano’s home, to have seen the screen? That is, what Lexie should have been doing here? Damn again! What a hint about me… and about me…

“Good idea! Thank you, Alexandra! My apologies for disturbing you and have a good night!”

“Oh, no problems…” He had already closed the phone.

The next moment, a video call message appeared on the screen. The duct tape was still over the cam, the mic was still off – perfect! I grabbed the keyboard and opened a chat instead.

< yeah?

> sexy like a dream… you lucky bastard

I sighed quietly.

< what is up?

> and next time you visit her, be again distracted and tired after that! :)

I sighed once again.

“… After that, you just type the names of the columns for which you want to find correlations, separated with commas, and end them with a dot. See how easy it is? There is nothing arcane in scripting.”

All women smiled, even Grace. However, the usually jolly Lu was wincing.

“Lu? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, just Aunt Flo is gonna visit any moment.”

An aunt visiting her at work? Must be a nasty woman, by the look of Lu.

“Don’t worry, Lu.” The floor was clean, the plants appeared watered… What else a nasty woman might create problems with? “We will all be polite with her… Oh, and will say good things about you… What she has against you? Her being old and ugly, while you are young and attractive? And she will go after you even at work? What a nasty hag!…”

All women looked at me astonished, then simultaneously exploded in laughter. Even Lu giggled. Just like when Gab had his theory that… was actually correct.

What I had blundered about now?!

“Lexie, you are the queen of the deadpan,” said Lu. “Thank you for making me forget it for a moment!… Oh…” She reached for her purse and started rummaging inside. “Aargh! I don’t even have a pad! Does any of you have one?”

Oh God! What actually turns out to mean “Aunt Flo”! Damn the women and their indirectness!

Lu looked in turn to everyone, finally stopping on me. Luckily I had seen Sandra shopping for pads in pharmacies.

“Just gimme ten minutes, Lu. What kind you want?”

“`Felicia`, with wings.”

While I was trying to chase off my imagination the image of a menstrual pad with big feathered wings, there was a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

“Is it a convenient moment to connect your desks to the new file storage, ladies? It will take about couple of minutes per desk.” Carlo politely smiled. Before anyone could reply however, he noticed the wince of Lu.

“Toothache?”

Lu nodded quickly.

“Want some aspirin? I too had a toothache a few days ago, still have a few pills with me.” He pulled a small box out of his pocket and offered it to Lu. She took it, nodded gratefully and took two pills out of it. Tried to return the box to Carlo, but he protested:

“Keep it, I don’t need it anymore and you do!”

After Carlo left, Vinnie asked:

“D-did he g-g-guessed it?”

“No way. Men are completely clueless about periods,” Grace replied. “You could mention Aunt Flo in their face and they wouldn’t know who that is.”

“Like L-lexie?” asked Vinnie and winked.

All women exploded with laughter again. I relaxed and forced myself to smile too.

“Luckily.” added Lu, still wincing. “Can you imagine men liking women if they were reminded of our periods? Every man would be revolted.”

I barely stopped myself from saying that it is not so at all.

“You have a talent for comedian, Lexie,” Mommy said. “I almost believed that you don’t know it. I haven’t seen such a perfect deadpan for months. You probably had to train it around the mountain rescuers? Poor girl, with no female company at all up there. Don’t you feel more relaxed with us?”

“Ummm, I do, of course…” I was careful to not look at Grace to see if she is watching me.

“Always the same blushing flower. Little wonder men love you, they fall instantly for modest girls,” Mommy noted. “Don’t worry, we are all women here, it is only normal to discuss periods between us.”

I nodded energetically. Then visited the restroom. Didn’t planned to listen on them, but what I saw that the empty bottle is still there, my curiosity won.

“… considerate as hell,” Mommy was saying. “Smart and sensitive on top of everything.”

Again, glorifying me? I felt tired from all that.

“The ideal man…”

Aaaargh! Will they stop talking about Carlo? They all think only about him!

“Yes, he is hard to believe.” I couldn’t believe my ears – Grace praising someone, and a man at that! “And looks like he is straight too, I noticed him several times checking Lexie. Tries to not be noticed, but you know how good are the men at that.”

Several voices giggled.

“So, you think it is only a matter of time before he makes an advance?” Mommy asked.

“If you were a man, how long you would hold before you make one at Lexie?”

“He is only two weeks here, and appears to be really well behaved. But… if you saw him checking Lexie, things are bound to happen. Neither of them will find a better party. And I think that she only waits for him to open the dance.”

“D-do you think they will invite us to their m-marriage?”

The image of a marriage with me as the bride instantly replaced that of the pad with the wings. And was not amusing at all… Shit, I forgot to buy pads for Lu! Should hurry up. Before the visit of Aunt Flo starts…

“What about this phone, Miss? Rosy pink goes perfectly to both your eye color and the form of your face. Entirely voice operated, doesn’t even have a touch interface. And look at all the new functions! Gossip with Influencers, Fashion Hints, it has all them… See, you can just select a dress from the latest online collections, tell the phone to turn on the selfie camera and will see yourself wearing it.”

“Thank you, but I would prefer something… how to say it? More functional… It will be the phone I am using while at work, will not need fashion hints there…” Phones for men were that, but I didn’t dared to drop any hint that I’m actually male.

“Oh, I get it!” He didn’t stop for even a moment to check me head to toe. And his smile would probably revolt every girl, it sure as hell was revolting me. “No fashion will ever make any other girl so beautiful! What work do you do, Miss? Are you a fashion model? Or an influencer?”

“I’m a statistician.” His stare immediately went blank, and I tried to explain. “It is mathematical processing of information, to find in there correlations and… Well, simply said, find stuff in data…”

“Isn’t math something for AIs? Girls like you deserve much better. Popularity, human warmth, closeness—”

“Thank you, I prefer it. Will you offer me a more functional phone?”

Ten minutes later, I was already on the verge of kicking his ass, not caring if that will break my disguise. Not only all phones for girls turned out to be bimbo accessories, but he was hitting on me more and more transparently. When I finally left the shop with a small clam-like phone (“but that is for grandmothers, beauty!” I felt a relief that words cannot express.

And women have to suffer that every day! Worse still, many of them sincerely believe that this is what a woman should have. What a woman should be…

“D-do you think the company will c-celebrate Women’s Day somehow?” Vinnie asked while we were putting on the work uniforms.

Women’s Day?… Oh, it is March 8! I had forgotten about it! Like always…

“Yes, there will be gifts for all women, from the men. Actually, from the company” Lu replied. “The Boss wouldn’t have it otherwise. An old school gentleman.”

“Looks like he is not the only gentleman,” Mommy noted, glancing through the small window of the room. “Carlo is also bringing flowers. Wonder for whom.” She smiled at me.

I don’t know what face I made, but all women in the room giggled.

“Don’t be so scared, girl!” Mommy said. “You are made for one another. And if he bought flowers for you, this is his invitation, isn’t it?”

She appeared so convinced that I barely constrained myself from laughing. Made for one another? Me and Carlo? Gosh… Though I had to admit to myself that he would make a great friend. I silently promised to myself that after I drop this damn masquerade, I would try to teach him climbing.

About fifteen minutes after we have moved to our room, there was a knock on the door. Lu got up and opened it:

“Come in, Carlo. May we help you with something?”

“With being happy and blessed today, and in all the days to come!” smiled Carlo while entering. He took several flowers from behind his back and gave one to Mommy:

“May all men around love and honor you, Ms. Rodolfo!”

“Oh, thank you!” Mommy was keeping her composure, but even I could tell that she is surprised. And moved.

“May your smile always bring happiness to the others, Ms. Calvano!”

“Thank you Carlo, you are so kind!” Lu blinked several times, took the flower and tried to curtsy, making Mommy smile.

“May you always be sunny and nice, and a bit less shy, Vinnie!”

“T-t-t-thank you, C-c-c-carlo! Thank you!” Vinnie blushed so deeply that I was for a moment afraid that something might happen to her.

“May your beauty and kindness never wane, Lexie!”

I was speechless. A man giving a flower to me. That is, to Lexie, not to me. But I am Lexie, and must react somehow. How a girl should act?! Gosh, how complex is to be a woman!

“Thank you, Carlo. May, ummm, your nobility never wane too.” I smiled and took the flower. Damn that masquerade!… But, to be honest before myself, Carlo indeed was the dream of every woman.

“Ladies, do you know if Grace will be at work today?” The room door behind Carlo opened and he turned to it. “Hello, Grace! May you always be so smart, curious, strong and lucky too!”

Grace blinked at the sight of the flower. Then took it carefully.

“Thank you, Carlo. May all men be like you.” I am not sure, but I think I heard a slight sigh. She indeed appeared to not have been lucky with men. Could it be that this was why she was so nasty, not the other way round?

“Dear ladies, do you know where Aunt Maria might be?”

“Likely cleaning the floor below, she works for them too,” I heard the voice of Fabricia from the foyer. I suddenly guessed that she has received a flower too.

Carlo smiled at us again and left the room, one flower still in his hand. The moment the door closed, all women looked one at another:

“Gosh, what a gentleman! I just can’t believe my eyes!” Lu sighed.

“Unbelievable boy,” nodded Mommy. “The perfect man. Never seen anyone like him at his age. So few, even at any age.”

“S-s-straight out of movies. D-did not forgot even the f-f-floor sweeper. Lexie, you m-must be m-m-mad to miss him!”

All women looked at me. I didn’t know what to say.

“They are right, Lexie.” This was Grace. “You can’t imagine how lucky you are to have a chance for such a man. Don’t miss him.”

The surprise from her speaking to me normally took me back to the reality.

“But I told you that he is not my type!… Ummmm, should I hurry to marry so young?”

All women spoke at the same time:

“Of course! Absolutely! And if he is as good in the bed too…”

“Have him as a boyfriend, and you will want to marry him very soon!”

“G-g-go for him! R-right now! Lexie, you are the l-l-luckiest girl in the world! If I c-could…”

“If he does not turn out to be a pervert or a junkie, he is indeed a good catch…”

I again didn’t know what to say. To hide it, I took a coffee cup and filled in with water in the restroom. Carefully cut the stem of the flower with a slant – this way they live longer, I knew it from Sandra – and put it in the cup.

The women again exchanged glances. Meaningful ones.

I wasn’t happy being the center of attention, especially when the topic was this. However, I had to admit that Carlo was way more a man than me. I likely wouldn’t guess to buy flowers for the girls for Women’s Day, and even if I was reminded, possibly wouldn’t think of buying one for the floor sweeper too. Heck, I didn’t even knew her name before Carlo mentioned it – and he was here for less than a month, half the time I was…

Gosh, he was indeed a real man. I fancied myself one, being a mountaineer and climber, but clearly could not compare to him…

But I could learn from him. And would, at every occasion, I promised to myself.