Life Seems to Suck Sometimes (Part 4)
By Sabrina G. Langton

***

Author's Note: Hmmm, this is the sweet chapter, also the one with the most sex... So sweet and sexy, just like all of us here in the Big Closet... Nothing we are not used to, ha... Thank you so much for reading and I hope YOU like it...

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Part 4 of 5

The next morning I was a mess. Life seems to suck sometimes. I had to get up for work and I was so late. After a long shower, I put my hair up into a wool hat. When I got to work I asked my boss, Mr. Fulsom, if I could talk to him.

"Okay come on in."

I sat across, I had been working here for almost six years. I had taken the job while I was still in college. When I started I was working for free, now I'm guessing I was one of the highest-paid employees.

"I need a couple of weeks off," I told him, a strange grimace sneaking onto my face.

"Okay, you have a lot of time coming to you, why don't you take off all of June. Just call and check in every once in a while." He picked up his office phone. "Jan, can you transfer ten thousand dollars into O'Doherty's account, thanks."

"You didn't have to do that."

He shrugged, "It's just extra for your vacation. I want you to eat, you are getting so skinny."

Little did he realize, I was at my perfect weight, this was what I had been working towards. My long hair and my figure.

"And I'm glad you left at a decent hour all last week, ten to twelve hours a day is a crazy work schedule. You don't have to work so hard."

"I know," I shrugged, "Everything here is cleaned up but I'm working through some things, I should be fine after a break."

I got up, I told him I had a couple of things to finish today, and then I would sneak out early.

He laughed. "You never have to sneak, do whatever you feel." I snuck out a couple of hours early anyway.

***

I got home, the block was nice and quiet on a Friday afternoon, and changed, all this back and forth between male and female was making me crazy. I would now have a whole month to relish in my femininity. I was going to stay a girl the whole time, I didn't even care what Lilly thought, though she didn't seem to be minding it. I changed into a short denim dress, it was tight, I wore a push-up bra and showed as much cleavage as I could make. I put on a little too much makeup and put on my long nails. I painted them bright pink. It was still early, but I was going to go back to the Mall parking lot. I wouldn't be looking for Raymond.

Ring. Ring.

I picked up on the second ring, I was putting in my big gold hoops. "Hello."

"Nena, what are you doing later?" It was Angie, it always made me happier to talk to her. I hadn't seen enough of her this week, or in my life lately.

"Nothing, of course. I'm going to run out now, need anything from the mall?

"What? You are going to the mall? Can I come with?"

I couldn't go with her dressed like I was. I didn't even like her seeing me when I wasn't impeccably dressed. I was getting lazy, or maybe horny, I didn't even know anymore. "Okay, I just need to get changed, I'll pick you up."

***

I beeped, I was sitting on the hood of my car, looking all sexy. I changed into a short pink dress, the collar right up to my neck, a Sosa special. I had on my nude thigh highs and nude pumps, this time with a slight platform and ankle straps. I had my matching purse with a gold chain sitting in the back seat. I was ready for the mall, I was completely ready to hang out with Angie.

Beep. Beep. "Mama you wastin' time," I yelled as Angie looked out of her door. She was surprised, who did she think was going to be beeping.

"I shoulda' known, you be the one makin' a racket." We hopped in the front and took off. I drove right by my favorite parking lot.

I told Angie I had off for the next month, she was ecstatic. I also told her I called up the Sosa sisters Wednesday night and that I had another outing as Giselle with Lilly the next day.

"Wow, you are a pretty busy girl, what happened to that once-a-week dressing-up schedule?"

"I am completely off the grid now,"

She laughed. "Finally. One day a week, I thought you were crazy."

Once at the Mall, we went and picked up our new hosiery. We had the whole department to ourselves. Angie then decided I needed new hair. We went to her salon, Golden Doves. Everyone was surprised to see the boss on her day off. She pointed and gave all sorts of instructions. She made me sit and not move. It was a long two hours but when they were done my hair was long, down to the middle of my back and a light strawberry red. Darker than my natural hair. The women at the salon also colored my eyebrows, making them match, each other.

"No one knows you are not a natural redhead." She laughed as I also got eyelash extensions.

We then both got acrylic nails put on and then painted, gone was my bright pink and it was replaced by a softer one. It went so much nicer with my dress. When we left her salon, I couldn't stop checking out my new hair and nails. I looked more like one of the Sosa sisters now than ever. Their hair was always so long, all my wigs matched them. I could never get my hair to look like this, no matter how much product I put into it or how many times I have tried. Angie had to pull me away from every reflective surface we passed.

We went out for a light lunch and I reluctantly told Angie what else had happened the night before. She held my hand the entire time. She seemed surprised. "So am I right in thinking you are done with that parking lot?"

"I guess." I looked up at her.

"You guess?"

"No, you're right I'm done."

"I'm sorry I introduced you to it, you need more mature relationships, Nena. Are you done with Lilly too?"

"I think so, I was going to end it tomorrow, probably after the Flores visit. You know she has been very understanding about this whole girl thing."

"Well, Lilly is acting like an adult. Now it's your turn." She then took out her phone and called Trevor. She made plans for tonight. She smiled at me and made faces, while I tried not to pay attention.

When she hung up she put her fingers in my hair, "I can't wait to watch you show off your new sexy hair, it will be good practice for tomorrow." I didn't really know what she was talking about.

***

We went to a book store, I told her about Mr. Flores' children, I showed her the pictures of little Bruno and me. I wanted to get coloring books. I had crayons all over my house, I loved to color, it kept my mind focused. I even had some of my works on my wall in my room. Lilly had never even seen them, until recently.

"Do children other than you still color?" She asked.

"Of course, but you must color with them, children want company, just like you and I." We laughed. "There is nothing like a little company."

I picked up four of the large Crayola Crayon boxes with sixty-four crayons. The more the better. I ended up buying seven books, all different types. One of course for Angie to practice at home, with her new crayons.

***

"I want you to make drinks tonight," Angie told me as we walked up her stairs into her house. I was parked right in front, right in the driveway. I stood on her steps and surveyed the block, it was so much different from mine, it was all houses and lawns and children. It was two blocks away from my townhouse, with a swimming pool, tennis court, and access to the shops. I liked this so much better. I was standing at the door too long, I heard Angie call me.

"I have all your favorite ingredients in the kitchen Nena!" Angie laughed.

"All of them, do you have room?" We laughed together. I haven't hung out with Angie on a Friday afternoon alone in over a year. We put our bags down on the dining room table.

I looked in her kitchen, there were only three things on her counter. She walked up behind me, I felt her hands on my shoulders and her face in my hair. "Nena this hair totally suits you," And she kissed me loudly. "Do you remember the night, I told you that Trevor asked me to move in with him?"

"I do."

"You made me that crazy drink, with the 'Lifesaver.' Only a white girl could get away with a 'Lifesaver' instead of a lime." She kissed my cheek.

That night I made her my specialty a 'Brooklyn Paloma,' I wanted to cheer her up, she was so nervous about moving in with a man. Actually, I had only made that drink once, it was the only ingredients I had in my kitchen at the time. Sometimes you have to improvise and you always have to give it a name. Everything I ever made up on the spot I lie and say it was my specialty. I had so many specialties. People would accept it better if I wasn't trying it out on them for the first time. Everything was always better the second time around.

"I could make anything into a white girl drink."

"I know, that's your superpower." She laughed. "I have someone coming over tonight I want you to meet. Trevor should be home in an hour or so, they should get here together."

"Really? You want me to stay?"

"Of course, we should hang out more. You work so hard, we never get to hang. You know, Trevor says that out of all of our friends, you are the only one he would live with on a desert island."

"Is that good?" I queried.

"I think it is. He says it ALL the time." She giggled some more. "I think it's because you are beautiful... and resourceful, haha."

***

I helped Angie put the food in the oven as we drank our specialty drinks. I cut up limes for when Trevor got home, I didn't need to subject him and his guest to another one of my white girl concoctions.

We heard the door, "Angie, Nena?"

"In here we will be right out!" She walked over to me and fixed my dress. "I have been saving this moment until I knew you were ready. Are you ready?"

"Um, I don't know. Am I?"

"Ha, you are, now take in those drinks, let's get this night started."

Next to Trevor was a man. A tall well-proportioned man, he smiled at me when I walked into the room. I had a tray of drinks and I suddenly got a little nervous holding them, Trevor helped me put it on the coffee table.

"Giselle," Trevor grabbed my arm and kissed my cheek, it was the first time I ever heard him use my name. He then looked at me, "I want you to meet Bryson, Bryson Rogers. I want you, my future wife's best friend, to meet mine.

Bryson took my hand and he kissed my cheek. "So nice to meet you," He said in his deep dark voice.

I just smiled, I was afraid to talk, and then I looked at Trevor. "Future wife?"

"Ha, ha yes. Angie said that I could surprise you. Ha, are you surprised?"

I looked over at Angie, she was grinning her crazy grin. "I am, and I am quite happy about this news. I have to tell someone." I skipped past all of them and opened the front door. There were people out gardening, fixing their cars, even some children playing. "Trevor and Angie are going to get married!" I yelled to them and waved, they didn't seem that surprised, but I did get a thumbs up from one of the kids.

I was crying and giggling as I walked back in, I needed to tell somebody. I didn't know anyone I could tell, I was going to sneak into the bathroom and call the Sosa Sisters later. We picked up our drinks and congratulated them.

"Giselle made these, she is a regular Cosmetologist."

I looked at her, "Is that someone who makes Cosmopiltans?" It was crazy that she messed up that word considering that was her line of work.

"No, haha, I mean, mixologist."

Bryson sipped, "It's wonderful, what is it called?"

"A Paloma, it's popular in Mexico. The 'Lifesaver' around the straw is my idea of a little local color."

They laughed and we drank, we even had another round. We ate dinner and then sat for dessert. Bryson brought something from a small bakery in his neighborhood. We sat and listened to music, I was enjoying the company. I loved not having to answer any crazy questions like the ones Lilly was lately asking me. I loved not thinking about work or driving around the mall searching for something and someone bad for me. I loved leaning into a man and talking to friends.

Why was I making myself so busy? Why did I avoid being Giselle for so long?

One day? Just one day a week? No wonder I went a little crazy.

It was getting late, we were wrapping up dinner. We were standing in the kitchen and I was cleaning all of the glasses. THIS was the way I loved to be busy.

"Bryson, why don't you walk Giselle home?" Angie looked at me. "She is very close, I wish she was closer."

"I would love to."

***

We walked by my car in the driveway. It was after ten, the neighborhood was quiet but on my block, it was still quite busy. The restaurants were still open and the coffee shops were crowded.

Bryson held my hand, "This is a nice town." I squeezed and smiled. We sat down outside one of the coffee shops, I could see my front door from here and I pointed it out to him.

A girl walked over to us. "Two coffees?" He looked at me and I lightly shook my head. "Giselle, you are very pretty and so much fun, I have to thank Trevor for finally introducing us."

I started looking more closely at him. I was wondering if I could start dating a man. I was thinking I would love to try. He was quite handsome and he was so wide and tall, he was probably the same size as Trevor, just noticeably lighter-skinned. And I loved people watching us and seeing a man and a 'woman.' When I was by myself I thought I stood out, with a beacon of light on me.

He took my hand, "I have to tell you something," He looked up at the clouds, "I am seeing a woman, we have been together for about, mmm, a year." He looked at me, but I wasn't that surprised. "Trevor tells me I am like someone who is stuck in traffic. I have my hand on the horn. He wants me to get off at the next exit ramp, but I am having trouble." He shook his head.

I smiled at him, he was being cute. "I feel the same, I just can't make it over to the exit lane. It's crowded and no one will let me change lanes." I smiled and he then squeezed my hand. He lifted it and kissed my fingers.

"You have beautiful hands too," We were holding hands once again. "One day I am just going to get out of my car, slam the door, climb over the other cars in the way, and run down the exit. I want to take a different path, I'm just not ready."

Our coffee came, I looked up at the waitress, she was probably about my age. "Thank you, I'm Giselle and this is Bryson."

"Hi, I'm Maria."

"You are so nice Maria, thank you for working so late." I smiled up at her, she was about to walk away. "Oh, Maria?

"Mmm?"

"Can you believe I live right there?" I pointed right across the street to my townhouse complex. "And I have never been here. Would you mind if I make this my favorite place?"

"Haha, not at all. I hope you like your favorite spot." I did, we had our coffee and then Bryson walked me the quarter of a block home. There was an empty spot in front of the house too. But I now had a favorite one. Angie's driveway.

I opened the door, Bryson put his arms around me and kissed me goodnight. It was my first real goodnight kiss from a man. We kissed again. Our lips were tightly together, when his tongue found its way inside I pulled him closer, his hands roamed my body. I was wondering if Maria was outside the shop watching.

"Is your girlfriend going to miss you tonight?" I whispered in his ear.

"Not at all, Friday is my night. She tends to take the other six days." He laughed and kissed me again.

"You are very lucky, six nights with someone. I would love that. If you like you can stay?"

He didn't answer. We locked the door.

***

I held his hand as I led him toward my room. I would give him the tour another day. I knocked and then turned back to him. "It's empty." I smiled and we went inside. I put on a small light and I started to take off his shirt. I ran my fingers through his chest, he was so hard and strong. I lightly kissed his shoulder. I stood back and put my hands on my hips. "I wish I was wearing something a little sexier." At least my lips, hair, and new eyebrows were still perfect. I had a whole closet of outfits I could be modeling.

"You mean to tell me you can get even sexier?"

"I can." I played with my long hair, my dress was so conservative, though the hem did reach way above my knees. My sleeves were three-quarter length and I had just a slight belt around my thin waist. The neckline reached all the way up, even hiding the little chain I had on. I turned around and held up my hair. I felt his hands on the little zipper. I felt it move down the length of my back, and I got chills, he helped me take it off, it fell hiding my heels. I pushed my pink pantied ass into his crotch. I turned around and slid down his pants, taking his shoes and socks off in the process.

We kissed. We kissed deliberately, I let him taste me. Slowly he entered my lips again. I felt my breast form push against his chest. I felt his hard cock make an appearance, and I pushed more into him. My nylon legs rubbed against his bare ones. I whispered in his ear. "Would it be okay if I let you have my body?"

He looked at me. "Would it be okay... if I got out of my car, jumped over the next one, and ran full speed down the exit ramp?"

"Ha.." I looked at him and lightly kissed his lips. "It's okay if you want to stay relaxing in your car a little longer," I kissed his neck, "listening to music," I pushed my breasts into him, he started to look down, "daydreaming, waiting for traffic to open up. I don't mind."

"You don't?"

"No, can't you see me in the car right behind you? Look in your rearview mirror, I'm waving. You should pay more attention to your surroundings." I giggled. "Let's have tonight. We can worry about the rest of our lives some other time. I'm sure we will be seeing a lot of each other once our friends get married." He smiled and we kissed again. I led him to the bed and fell onto him.

It was crazy to me how I have been dreaming about being with a man since I was a teenager before I even met Lilly or the Sosa's. Now, here I am the second day in a row, I hoped that this set a precedent. I will have a different man every night.

We made out and rolled on my bed, I was loving how he kissed and caressed my body. His mouth nibbled on my thigh, kissing my nylon knees and ankles. He chuckled when I told him I wanted to keep my heels on. Sometimes I slept with them all night. Life was too short to go without sexy shoes and stockings.

I was on my back, he was kissing my hairless belly and he inched down to my panties. I let him do what he wanted.

"Giselle? Thank you for letting me experiment. Can I really make love to you?"

I moved up onto my elbows, "I would love that, but make sure you take notes. I want to give it to the next man that occupies my bed."

He smiled and went back and kissed the mound in my panties. He looked at me again, while his hands played with my body. "I have to wear a condom, I told my partner that I would only be unprotected with her. Is that okay?"

"It is."

He magically pulled out a condom and pulled down my panties. I stayed tucked but once he started playing down there I'm sure I would start to come loose. I wasn't as tightly tucked as last night. He put a finger inside me as he moved up and started kissing me again. We stayed like this until he had three fingers inside. He fingered and kissed, I was losing my breath and voice.

I turned to my side and I felt his cock against me. I squeezed him between my cheeks. I felt him against my hole, 'my pussy' was waiting to be invaded. "Bryson, I'm so ready for you."

His cock started to push between my cheeks again and he licked my arms and shoulder. I felt the head of his cock just outside of me, just waiting to enter. He was so much bigger than the unwanted invader yesterday, but I was mentally prepared.

"Oh my god," I yelped as he pushed in, maybe I wasn't that prepared. I felt a stinging inside of me and I bit my lip. I felt him rub my arm as he slid in more. He consoled me the whole time, I felt like a little girl. He started moving his hard cock in and out of me, each time it felt like he was getting deeper. All of a sudden I felt something inside me give and he pushed straight through. I moaned so loud and his body was now completely against me. I felt his stomach on my back. He rubbed my stockings as he pushed harder once more. He was kissing my shoulder and neck, he started pulling my hair.

He made me get up on my knees. He grabbed me by my hips and he was in once again. he started pumping harder, I couldn't breathe, I was loving it so much. The bed was making so much noise as his body moved behind me, I fell and he pumped more, never losing his stride. I felt myself move my ass into him, grinding and then making a circular motion. I felt him hitting spots inside me making me shiver. I was begging him to go harder. And he did.

He pulled out, I wanted him back in I felt so empty. I went onto my back. This was the position I was in yesterday, but the view was so much better. I would never let Raymond near me again, I don't care how many flowers he was prepared to give me. There were too many men in this world that were wonderful.

"You look great in this position." He laid on top of me and we kissed, slow and sloppy, with my hands in his hair, my legs around his waist. He then moved up. He smiled and aimed his cock at me again, he bent down and we almost kissed. He was inches from me, I could feel his breath as his cock slipped in and he pumped away again. My nylons rubbed against his body with every thrust, I still had my heels on and they looked so sexy in the air. He moved up and grabbed my waist again. "I'm gonna cum baby where do you want it?"

Where? I didn't know, no one ever asked me questions like this. It was usually 'Who are you?,' 'What are you doing in this house?' 'Why can't you make me happy?' Well, no one ever really asked me that, but I was very rarely on my back with a huge cock inside me. "Cum on my stomach?"

He smiled as he pumped some more. "Okay." He thrust one last time, he was so deep, I started to orgasm myself, I hid my 'clit' with my hands, I was squirting onto his cock.

"Oh, my god, Bryson it feels so good," I then let out a huge yell as he pulled his dick out of me. He ripped off the rubber, his cock was aiming at me. He was smiling as he played with his hard cock, he started to cum, the first shot landed right above my crotch, then my stomach, then bra.

He leaned down and started kissing me again. "You were incredible." We kissed some more and I felt his cum on my body, I wanted to taste it. He lifted and laid next to me, his wet cock still hard and rubbing against my ass. I took my finger and wiped his cum from my bra. I tentatively put it to my lips. I turned to him and he watched me taste him, I sucked on my finger. I took the little last bit of cum I found on my belly, and put my finger with my long impossible nails on my lips. I rubbed his cum into the pink and smiled. His cum mixing with my lipstick. I licked my lips and he grabbed my hips and started pumping again, his cock was once again between my cheeks.

"Giselle, sorry I'm gonna cum again. Ahh..." And he did. I felt his jism between the cheeks of my ass and some on my hip. Next time I want a man to just cum in my mouth, like the men in the parking lot. He laid down exhausted. I turned so I could see him. We held each other, my forehead against his. What a wonderful day this has been. I couldn't wait to tell Angie and the Sosa sisters I got fucked on my new beautiful comforter.

***

It was quite late, I was completely exhausted. We woke and he had fucked me once again in the middle of the night. I didn't realize I was so flexible in bed with a man. We were in so many positions, I felt like a porn star and I was still wearing my nude pumps. I could feel his cum inside my belly, it was nice, it was somewhat comforting. I stretched and put my head on his chest, I felt his arm wrap around me. I was glad we made love, I was glad he experimented with me. It made me giggle to think that was how he phrased it. Little did he realize but I was experimenting with him too.

He whispered, "Giselle? Are you up?"

"Mmm."

"Angie told me you had a girlfriend."

"I do, well I did. I still might..." I moved up and laid on my back as Bryson leaned on his elbow. His other hand investigated my breasts through my bra.

He was looking at me. "Did you sleep with her, dressed like this? In a bra and stockings?"

"No," I closed my eyes. "I like men."

"Well, they most certainly like you."

I awoke again, he was looking at me, he started putting his fingers on my lips. "You have such nice lips and your eyes are so blue." He kissed my bra and started nuzzling my breast forms. I reached for his head and pulled him down, feeling him on my breasts. I felt his heartbeat and I heard him breathing, it was so late. He started to whisper again, "Giselle, What's the difference between transgender and gender fluid?"

I didn't even have to think. "Higher heels." And I fell asleep, I hope he didn't leave before I woke up in the morning. I wanted to go to our favorite coffee shop.

***

I woke up early, I took a shower, I made myself beautiful.

I made coffee, I bought muffins, I bought fruit, I made fruit salad. There was no way I could keep this up, but I like to think that I might. I heard the shower in my room going, I knew Bryson was up. I also knew he would be going back to his girlfriend, and I was okay with that. I'm sure we would see each other all the time, and we would always have this memory, maybe he would invite me to HIS wedding. I had to admit I had never felt more feminine in my life, wearing a dress is nothing compared to having a secret little tryst with a man. I knew Angie was going to love it when I tell her how it felt. I couldn't wait to tease her.

I was wearing my sexy denim dress, it was tight and it showed a fair amount of cleavage. "Good morning." He was naked, just a towel around his shoulders. Did he think I would be up for another romp in the bed, I didn't want to assume. "Do you have a robe I can borrow?"

I smiled and gave him one, of course, it was too small, he was a man, but he put it on anyway. It was a nice morning, he started to ask me all types of crazy questions. I felt like I was with Lilly.

I only answered one.

"I did feel like a woman after you made love to me, thank you." I kissed him and sent him on his way with the muffins. He was at the bottom of my steps, I called to him, "Don't forget to wave to me when I am behind you. Make your music louder, we can listen to it together."

He stopped and looked at me, he ran back up the steps, he took my hands. "I think I'm just going to sit in your car with you. Why should we be by ourselves?" And he kissed me, in front of the whole neighborhood. I was so glad we were together last night. It was going to be nice hanging out in a car, ha.

I waved to him once again from the top of my steps. "Bye Bryson." It was nice, I was still so sore.

"Bye Giselle, I'll see you in my mirror."

***

I'm guessing Bryson went to visit Trevor and Angie before he got into his car. I got a call thanking me for the muffins.

"Well?" Angie enquired,

"I got them in the coffee shop I can see from my steps."

"Not the muffins, Bryson."

I giggled, "It was nice. Can you do my makeup before I go to the Flores?"

"I can but I'm going to need a little more gossip."

"It will have to wait, I want to tell you and your future husband in person."

***

Lilly called and said Benjamin was having a Limo pick her up, she would come and get me around one PM.

"Can you meet Angie today?"

"Really? I always felt you didn't want us to meet for some reason."

"That's because your boyfriend was a jerk, he didn't know what he was doing, I can't believe we let him hang around as long as he did." I was feeling a little too confident, this was how I felt last Saturday. It made me a little nervous.

"Ha, listen to you. I didn't realize you were so sassy. Haha."

***

I knocked on the door, I was holding six different dresses, and a shopping bag full of accessories. I didn't know what to wear to an Argentinian BBQ.

The door opened. "Well, look at this," Angie had her hands on her hips, "Trevor! Someone is here for you." She walked away and I followed. I dropped everything in a heap on the floor.

Trevor hugged me. "Angie is mad you didn't tell her about your night of passionate romance."

"What? All we did was play UNO? I won."

"Ha," Trevor let me go and started to laugh, "Well then Bryson met someone on the way back from your place. Haha."

I grabbed Angie from the back and hugged her. "Angie, it was so, so incredible, it was a perfect night. Thank you, that is the best thing you have ever gotten me. Except maybe this hair."

She turned around, she had tears in her eyes, "Your hair still looks amazing, why did we wait so long I will never know." We hugged again. She looked at me again and took the hair out of my eyes, "Did it hurt?"

"It did."

"GOOD!"

***

End of part 4

***