A Needed Change - Part Seven

The next day I did dress down for work, but as Becca and no one batted an eyelid; everyone accepted me. Apart from one person, one I didn’t expect it from, and that was my supervisor. I was called into her office within an hour of getting there and I thought she was asking me to do something so I just lent against the desk when she turned to face me.

“So Beck, do you think how you’re dressed is appropriate for an office?”

I glanced out the window at everyone else, and yes my boots did come over my knees but my skirt was no shorter than a few of the other women here today - wow, I really am saying other women without thinking about it. Anyway, she must have seen my confusion and said, “You’re a man, and you’re dressed in a skirt, using the women's facilities and it’s not right. There are people here who might get upset by this sort of behaviour and I expect you to be wearing a suit again on Monday.”

I never said a word, but realised I just had my first encounter with a terf. I walked back to my desk with my arms folded, feeling very small and stupid, trying to avoid looking at anyone or them looking at me. Steph wanted to know if I was ok, but I just shook my head to say I didn’t want to talk about it.

I had only just started the hormones and suddenly felt very emotional, trying to stop myself from crying and Steph grabbed her handbag, then my hand and pulled me into the ladies as the tears came. She hugged me as I cried and I told her what was said, feeling her get tense with anger, but I begged her not to say anything. She helped me repair my face and we walked out, only for me to see the supervisor looking sternly at me as Steph led me back to her desk.

I tried to put it out of my mind, but Steph was tapping angrily away at the keyboard which actually made me laugh. When we left work at the end of the day Rich was standing there and he held out his hands and told me to hand over my car keys, and he drove me home. Steph turned up half an hour later and made us all something to eat, kissed my cheek and told me to bring him home tomorrow. We never made love that night, we didn’t even fuck, he just held me and looked after me.

I felt safe.

By the morning I felt a lot better and he made me French toast. I looked at him and said, “Sorry we didn’t have sex last night.”

He rushed over and hugged me, telling me not to be stupid and I just lent into him letting him hold me as I stood there. We parted slowly and sat down to eat, and he never once asked me about it, waiting to see if I wanted to talk but I wasn’t ready yet. I knew it would happen one day, having a run in like that, but until now I had basically been stealth.

I asked him, “Do I look like a woman?”

He looked at me and said of course I do. I undid my robe and let it fall to the ground, standing there naked in front of him, not for the first time, but it was the first time I hadn’t been tucked. My little penis was hanging there, almost useless, and I said, “What about now?”

He looked me up and down, even looking there, then got up and hugged my naked body, saying into my ear, “Extremely womanly.”

And we kissed.

We still didn’t have sex, I think he knew I just needed some validation, but I sat there eating, refusing to get dressed and occasionally enjoying him looking at my body. We even showered together, washing each others bodies, but I didn’t want him to wash me there, the only place I wouldn't let him touch me while I was untucked.

I sent him home early. Partly because I wanted to get ready for Steph’s party, but also I wanted him to help her, after all he is her boyfriend so it’s only fair that she gets to enjoy spending time with him, so I did what any girl does when she’s feeling a bit sad and needs cheering up. No, not shopping, I gave myself a damn good pampering! I ran a bath and dropped in a bath bomb, making sure the temperature was just right. I was tempted to have a glass of wine, but it was only just after lunch and I had a party so best to pace myself.

After bathing, shaving where I needed to, washing my hair and just having a relaxing time, I thought back over the last few months. Yes, I’m a woman, I’ve always been woman and clearly trying to make myself into something I wasn’t after that scary moment when I was almost caught in a dress aged eleven. But now, even my horrible supervisor can’t dent my mood, my friends and family know who I am and they love me for who I am and it seems they always knew who I really am.

But that still leaves the question about what to do on Monday? I know I will need to speak to HR and get the ball rolling, even start to change my name and all of those legal things, but what do I do about the terf at work? She’s clearly going to make my life hell, but dealing with it is something I have no idea how to do. I had a little look online and got lots of tips that others had shared, but none of my accounts stated I was a trans woman and I felt reluctant to out myself there just yet. Should I change them or not? Yes, I should, and I need to own it, be proud of who I am.

Anyway, that’s a problem for future me. Present me needs to get out the bath so I don’t turn into a prune, and start my moisturising routine and decide what to eat before I call a cab.

I thought about wearing a coat to cover myself up for the journey, but at the last check in the mirror before heading out, I had a fit of confidence, grabbed my clutch and walked out. In the lift on the way down, it pinged and in got my friend from a few floors down with her husband. His jaw dropped slightly and she told him to close his mouth right before telling me I looked good, and yes, checking myself in the lift mirror I agreed with her. I took a selfie, including a couple with her and put the best one on insta.

Walking out to the cab the driver got out and opened the door for me, slipping in bum first and swinging my legs in, waiting for him to almost run around the car to get back in. Thankfully, he did keep his eyes on the road, but at every stop he looked, and I pretended not to notice while I enjoyed the attention.

Arriving at the party early Steph said, “I so knew you would wear that! I could see it in your eye when you first showed it to me.”

I gave her a twirl and replied, “And I know you wanted to borrow it, so thank you for not asking.”

She looked great herself dressed as Woody from Toy Story in a pair of jeans hot pants and a waistcoat, and I already knew that Rich was going to be Buzz. We hugged and headed out to the kitchen to start sorting things out and Rich walked in, stopping dead when he looked at me.

He looked pretty good himself, so I took a couple of steps to stand next to Steph, slipping an arm around her waist and saying, “Like what you see?”

We both watch a growing bulge, looked at each other and giggled before I said to her, “I’m not ruining my make up, it’s your turn to suck it.”

And we both laughed, almost uncontrollably, dabbing tissues at our eyes but it did help Rich and the bulge stopped growing. We carried on sorting out the party supplies, and slowly people started to turn up, Steph’s friends, people from work, people I didn’t know and it gradually changed from a few people in fancy dress into a party. Everyone from work called me Becca all night, and other than the work girls asking if my boobs were all mine or not, I was just one of the girls. Like everyone, well, almost everyone they accepted me for who I am.

And then I saw someone in a suit, a man, and he did not look like he was in fancy dress. I hadn’t noticed them before now, and I had been practically everywhere this evening. When he turned I saw it was Luke and he gave me a little wave, just a hand up to say hello, and turned away from me to carry on talking to whoever had his attention.

I was not happy. I was about to go over to say hi, but Steph intercepted me, pulling me into her kitchen to help with something she could have done by herself.

When we were alone she said, “You were about to do something really stupid.”

I said, “What do you mean? I was only going to talk to him!”

“No, you were annoyed he didn’t come to talk to you, but he will. You haven’t noticed him, but he’s been watching you all night, following you around almost hoping you would see him. He’s trying to act cool. You should try it.”

I looked at her and the closed door, wondering if I should go and stand close to him, but it opened, and there he was, filling the doorway and smiling at me. Steph said, “Great, you will do. Can you help Becca take the bottles into the garden for the recycling?”

And the bitch walked away.

I looked at him and said, “So where’s you’re costume?”

He said nothing, walking over to me and picking up an empty bottle and took a business card out of the inside pocket of his jacket, handing it to me, saying, “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

I took the card from him and it said ‘I didn’t have a costume at home, so this will do.’

“Ok Mr No Effort At All, pick up some bottles and follow me.”

I worked it, worked it hard. I only took two empties out and he grabbed two as well, and after dropping them in the box, we just stood there in silence for a moment. I broke it by saying, “I really am sorry, I never meant to mislead you and should have said something.”

He put his hands on my upper arms and said, “I told you, I already knew. I saw you out months ago with some woman, then saw you again with Steph a few times. Then when I bumped into you with that prick, I am sorry about that by the way, I was really pleased to get to know you.”

I lowered my head. I was really embarrassed about Jamie and felt like it had hurt him. “And I’m sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me.”

He said, “I do. You fancied him, and that’s ok, a lot of women fancy him. I’m just glad I was able to stop him talking about you.”

I looked up at him, and there was only one thing I could do. This man had kept my secret even better than Rich had, looked out for me and… “Wait, you really knew all along?”

He smiled and said yes and every time we had been close to each other since then came to mind. “Oh my god. You know when you asked me out for a coffee I was reading that message right next to you in the lift?”

He nodded and said, “Yep. I could see it. I am taller than you, you know?”

“Wait, we stood next to each other in the toilets!”

He gave a shy smile and looked a bit red himself now, and I said, “Thank god I didn’t look!”

“Were you tempted?”

Ok, I could get in a lot of trouble here now. I said, “A women reserves the right to not answer questions like that.”

And I shivered, just a little, it is just November now, so he slipped off his jacket and dropped it over my shoulders and I stepped forward and he hugged me. He smelt great and I felt very safe and wanted now. I said into his chest, “Does it not bother you, you know, about me?”

I felt him shake his head as he hugged me a little firmer. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. ‘Please do it’ I thought to myself, and he did, gently, first on the tip of my nose, then softly on my lips, then I kissed him back. Not full on, just gentle and romantic, a little tongue on the lips, then we stood there, me leaning on his chest with his arms wrapped around me.

The door opened and we were bathed in light and Steph stood holding a few more empties. She said, “Jesus, I can’t leave you two alone for second.”

Luke kissed the top of my head and headed back in, and I looked at Steph as we waited for the door to close. “Thank god you too have finally got something happening. He’s been bugging me about when he should ask you out after you turned him down.”

We sat on the step on she told me all about it as I slipped my arms into the jacket and rolling up the sleeves a bit, about how after meeting us in the bar with Jamie, how he knew who I really was and how he wanted to make sure I was ok and that nothing bad would happen to me. I said, “So he always knew, and it never bothered him about, you know, what I have down there?”

She replied, “If Rich is ok with it and has always seen you as a women, yes, even before you kissed, then why wouldn’t Luke?”

I thought about it for a few seconds, then started to smile, facing Steph and saying, “He likes me.”

“Well duh!”

Back in the party the first thing I did was was walk around looking for him. I needed to give the jacket back but I also didn’t want to take it off, not because it covered me up, but because I could still smell him. After a few minutes, I found him and he helped me take it off and I just stood next to him while he chatted to a couple of girls from work. I’m not sure when it happened but we held hands for a bit, but we drifted apart as you do in parties, seeing each other on and off.

Near midnight he found me again, and we slipped outside as he wanted to say goodnight before he left, and we kissed again. This time with a bit more passion, a bit more desire and with a lot of promise for things to come. Once again Steph disturbed us, this time by accident and he left with me looking after him with a dreamy look on my face. Steph whispered to me, “Luke and Becca, sitting in a tree….”

I nudged her in the ribs.

The party started to wind down about 1am until it was just me there, and we all sat on the sofa with Rich in the middle. Steph said, “So what are you going to do?”

I knew what she meant, and I think she already knew my answer, but I said, “Well, get a cab to go home I guess.”

I slowly turned my head to look at her, trying to keep the smile of my face and said, “Thank god I love my annoying best friend.” And we linked arms as we sat there, all leaning our heads on each other.

I hung around to help them clean up, but in the end they said they couldn’t be bothered and would wait till the morning, with Steph sitting on a armchair and me and Rich on the sofa next to each other. I leant against him and he put an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close and it was nice.

Steph was sitting there watching us and said, “You two missed out on your Friday night date, and I’m too tired so if you want to, go ahead.”

I looked at Rich and wasn’t sure, I mean, I’m kinda with Luke now, but he kissed my nose and said, “It has been a nightmare for me with you two walking around strutting your stuff. I almost felt bad looking at you.”

I looked at Steph and we both giggled and I said, “Ok, but this will be the last time.”

She nodded, reached out for a bowl of popcorn and got herself comfortable, saying, “I’ve been so busy being the host all evening, it’s my turn to watch a show. Go on then, right here and now.”

I was a bit surprised, but Rich looked at me and shrugged, pulling me into a kiss. Time seemed to slow down, and I kept opening an eye to look at Steph, but she was quite happily snacking and watching us, telling me with her eyes to focus on the job at hand. And it was in my hand, I must have gone onto autopilot.

Half of my brain was aware of what I was doing and being watched, but the other half was shouting at me to pay attention to the man I was with. Somehow we needed up on the floor, my Bunny suit removed and Rich was kissing my nipples as he slid in and out of me, and my head rolled back in pleasure. When I opened my eyes Steph was looking down at me and said, “He’s good, isn’t he?”

“God yes!”

Afterwards, we sat back down and I tried to get my Bunny suit back on and looking good, but suddenly one of my boobs was struggling to stay in, probably because I was a bit flushed due to the two orgasms he gave me, but we wouldn’t let Rich get dressed so he sat there buck naked while we talked, looking at him and each of us touching him every now and then saying that us girls put up with being ogled all the time, so this one time he should just sit there and put up with it.

I don’t think he minded.

But it was funny talking about how it would be the last time we had sex as I thanked both of them and played with his dick at the same time. While I would miss our dates, I also knew I had a male friend who loved me for being me. Plus his girlfriend was my BFF and had my back all the way. They offered me the spare room again, but I wanted to go home, so both of them helping me put my boobs away, I ordered a cab and rode home, wondering if the driver could tell I just got laid and wishing now I had worn a coat.

On Sunday I had a lazy morning, not really doing much but determined to do something that would be good for me, so a quick search on YouTube and I found a beginners yoga video, got put on some exercise clothes and got to it. Here’s a question for you, why is stretching and holding the pose so much hard work?

Anyway, I quite enjoyed it, and was trying to work out if I should reward myself with something healthy but still tasty, or a glass of wine. The decisions we girls have to make. While I was wondering what was the easiest option; open up a bottle and pour myself a glass or start prepping a smoothie, the buzzer went and guessing it was Steph I hit the button to open the main door, unlocked my front door and went back to put the kettle on instead. I heard the door open behind me and turned around My jaw hit the floor.

It was my ex.

She looked at me, clearly wondering who I was for a second, then I saw the recognition cross her face. And here I am, standing here in my leggings and matching sports bra which used to belong to her, I just smiled and said, “Hi”.

She walked in and said, “Well, you look good.”

I offered her a cup of tea and we exchanged pleasantries, funnily enough both avoiding the elephants in the room; why I looked the way I did and where she had been. Once we were both seated, I said to her, “You go first.”

And she told me all about her travels, how she had started to disassociate from our relationship as she began to find what she wanted to do with her life. She had a few partners during her time, finding out that she was bi, which wasn’t a surprise to me to be honest, I knew she slept with at least one girl at university but tried to keep it quiet. But now she was back for a couple of months to see family before heading back to Australia. Turns out she is now dating an Aussie guy, and they want to see if they can make a future together when not travelling.

I was ok with it, I had no reason to worry about what her future plans are, but she did apologise for not being more honest with me and felt guilty for not telling me after a couple of months that we were over. I could see the pain on her face, and when I told her it was fine, and that is true, I think I always knew it was over once she went and I stayed behind. She was unlikely to be the same person when she returned and I pointed out, ‘It’s not like I haven’t changed either’.

She looked at me and we both started to laugh, and I told her all about what I’ve been up to, the slow change in the early days, how I became more public about being Becca and then what happened at work. “Also, you’re not the only one who’s been with a couple of guys”.

She looked at me and said, “Ok girlfriend, I want all the details!”

So I told her everything, about how Rich was on loan, the awful blow job in the car, explained about my boobs (which she wanted to see, telling me they were slightly larger than she remembered), my medical condition, and finally about Luke. I showed her the photos on my phone and got a new follower on insta, told her about my trip to work and what my supervisor said.

She looked furious now, and said, “Right, lets find you something fabulous to wear to work. If you haven’t thrown it away, and looking at what you’re wearing now I think you haven’t, but I know what you should wear.” And she dragged to the bedroom and started searching through the wardrobe, commenting on anything new I had that she liked, finding the outfit for my next day.

She stayed for something to eat that evening, and we just chatted like we had never talked before, obviously now like two girls. This was nice, we even talked about what we both liked in men, what attracted us to each other, that my mum had told her about my time as Becca while a kid which made her love me even though she never told me about it. But the evening ended with us as friends, reconnecting in a way I never expected and arranging to meet at least once more before she went back to Australia.

In the morning I woke up to a text from her telling me to go get it and prove to the terf that I can be more of a woman than she ever is, and I replied with a big heart back to her, jumping out of bed to get ready. Walking from my car to the office, I truly felt great and when I bumped into Steph on the way in, she linked her arm with mine and we walked to our desks.

It didn’t take long for my supervisor to see me and I could see she was unhappy, even if I did what she wanted and I waited for the call to go and see her in private. But she didn’t call. I did get a text from Luke telling me not only did I look great, but I also played her at her own game, and he was hoping to take the hot girl in a suit out for lunch.

How could I say no?

Back from lunch, there was a note on my desk asking to go to the office managers office, and now I was ready for a fight, making my way over there, arms folded and ready for a fight. I wasn’t breaking the dress code, there was nothing saying I wasn’t allowed to wear high heels or make up, and I was in a suit just like she asked, so I knocked on the door like a girl ready for action, and opened it without waiting for an answer.

“Oh.” I said.

I wasn’t expecting to see the CEO sitting in front of the office managers desk, chatting to him about me I guess. He stood up, held out his hand and said, “Becca, I am so pleased to meet you, I’ve only heard great things about you. Please take a seat.”

OK, this isn’t what I expected. Both of them are smiling at me as I sit down, feeling caught off guard. They both start speaking at once making it really hard to follow what they are saying, but I heard both say ‘sorry’ at least twice. The CEO tells the office manager to speak to first, and it seems he had a lot of complaints about my supervisors behaviour towards me and she is being replaced while she has been sent for more inclusivity training with the option to resign if she can’t live up to the companies values. They didn’t tell me if her behaviour led to disciplinary action, that wouldn't be fair to anyone, but they expect her to treat everyone fairly.

And then they offered me her role in the meantime on a trial basis. I was completely dumbstruck, and struggled to put two words together that made sense, making the CEO laugh and tell me I had a week to decide if I wanted it.

Then he said, “Here’s an important question, what name should we use on the new contract? There’s no record of a name change in your file.”

I told them I have only just started the official process and not got round to it yet, and he took out his phone, made a call and asked someone to come down to see us. He was offering one of the companies lawyers to do the paperwork to get it all started today at no charge, as an apology for what happened, but also as he really wanted me to know that he is an ally.

I was shocked, and a hour later went back to my desk and just sat there quietly. Steph was a bit worried as I didn’t want to talk about it too much just yet, I needed to process everything. Finally, I asked her to go to the toilet so we could talked, and once I told her she squealed in delight, hugging me and saying she wanted to be the first person to give an official hello to Becca. Of course her squeal brought a couple of the other girls in and I told them, and we had a funny little celebration in the there before going back to my desk. I got another text from Luke asking me if everything was ok, and I told him. It felt like ten seconds after hitting send, he was at my desk and gaving me a hug. Steph of course mimed a blow job behind his back.

And then he broke my heart. “I need to go away for a couple of days tomorrow for work, but we will celebrate on Friday. Deal?”

I nodded, and he gave me a quick kiss on the lips. In the office. In front of everyone. And I just agreed to a date with him in front of everyone. My face felt like it was on fire, and I looked to Steph who said, “You need a killer dress for Friday.”

The next day I was me at work, all Becca and no one gave me a second look, well, they did according to Steph, but not because I was now officially a woman who was desperately trying to get all my records updated, but because she said I looked not only great, I looked happy. Even seeing Jamie at work didn’t upset me, but I was with the girls and they all went quiet when he walked past us, turning back to look me and we all burst out laughing.

There’s no better revenge on a man who did the dirty on you, than all your girlfriends laughing at him.

After work I went shopping with Steph, looking for not just the dress, but also the shoes, I knew I wanted to look amazing for Luke, but also I wanted to feel great for me. Of course we were texting and speaking to each other all week, I just wanted him to know everything I was doing, including accepting the new job. I can always say I don't want it anymore at the end of trial period, but one thing I did say is that I wouldn’t take the office, preferring to work on the floor with those on my team. It felt a lot fairer on everyone.

And that allowed me to keep my mind on my Friday night date, my first official date with Luke. He had booked a table at a really fancy restaurant, but then on the day told me that his train didn’t get back until just before we’re due to arrive. When I told Steph, a big smile came over her face and she told me to tell him to meet me there, and I remembered what I would be wearing and I had to agree with it.

Arriving at the restaurant, I felt great walking in being led to the table, taking my seat and ordering a glass of wine while I waited, Luke did text to say a taxi was taking him home to drop of his bags and should be with me in ten minutes. I saw the cab pull up outside and got myself ready, posing for him the moment he walked through the door, adjusting my dress and looking across at the door.

Luke walked in, looked around and when he saw me, well, I could tell he liked what he saw.

I think he’s a keeper.

The End.