For Madison Sander, the path home is not a straight one, nor is it always a happy one, but there's always room for friendship, family, love and hope.
Note: The CW is related to the first scene only.

The Long Route Home
By Marissa Lynn

Prologue

"You ready, Emily?"

"Yeah. I've been slowly having Cecily take a few things while he's been out. Everything else is in the trunk."

"Great. Get in. She should be waiting for us."

"Okay," Emily nodded, her blue eyes sitting above the ugly bruises. "Let's get the hell out of here."
As Madison was set to turn the key, the lights in the foyer came on, with angry yelling."You goddamn bitch!" and worse.

"Go!"

Scott came bursting out the front door. As Madison sped away. He fired two shots at her car, but missed, tossing the gun in anger as it was now empty. He quickly ran to his own car to give chase, fumbling for his keys and knowing this thing had enough horsepower to catch whatever his girlfriend's friend was driving.

And that would have been true, except for two facts -- one of which he didn't know, the other he chose to ignore.

The first is that Madison Sander's father was Hank Sander, who'd raced stock cars on the weekends when he was younger and taught her to be very handy behind the wheel. The other was that Scott Taylor was exceedingly drunk.

"You've seen his car. He's going to catch us. I never should have done this. So stupid!" Emily said.

"Trust me, Em," Madison said as she made her way through a sharp turn.

"I'm going to kill her. She won't do this again," Scott said as he approached that turn, gaining speed, too much speed. He veered over the center line, losing control, striking the protective barrier with enough force to send his car to over the edge. As it started to tumble, he went through the windshield, not having time time to register that his biggest mistake was not putting on his seat belt.

Madison and Emily hadn't seen it, meeting up with Cecilia as planned, only finding out the next day what happened. As the police report would later state, the cause of death was blunt force trauma in a one-vehicle accident where the driver was almost four times the legal limit.

It wasn't the original plan, but Emily was safe.

Some time later

"Here's to Madison," Emily said.

"Here, here!" Cecily and Kristin chipped in.

"Thanks, you guys," Madison said, as she clinked their wine glasses.

"Girl, we are so going to miss you," Kristin said.

"I know," Emily said. "Are you sure we can't change your mind?"

"I wish, but no, I'm getting transferred whether I like it or not," Madison said ruefully. For all the good feelings about where she grew up, this was the first place she'd truly felt like home.

The reality was that, for all its charms, her hometown was "Henry Jr.'s place." Here, in California, she'd thrived as Madison, eventually settling here where she met great friends, especially these three.

Emily was one of her co-workers, quite possibly the kindest person she'd ever met. Through her, she met her younger sister Cecily, who was taller, blonder and cut from the same cloth as a human being. Then there was Kristin, who she had a lot in common with. If Madison were a lesbian, she'd have been attracted to her, although given Kristin's girlfriend history, she wouldn't have been her type. Nevertheless, another great friend.

Over time, she trusted all three enough to reveal that she hadn't grown up as Madison, but kept some details private. That was Henry Jr.'s life.

Kristin spoke up, "Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I could get you on where I work. The pay not be as much, but it's a great place and pretty stable."

Madison sighed, "That's just it. The pay's too good, especially with it costing less to live there. That said, I am going to look to be able to transfer back when I get the chance."

The conversation continued, with all the memories and stories -- the costumes they wore for that Halloween show by the former boy band guy (Cecily dressed as Fiona from "Shrek") the disastrous double date Madison had with Kristin ("How did you not know he was gay and had smelly feet?") and so on.
But it became time for the gathering to end. Kristin left first so she could spend some time with her girlfriend, who worked as a fitness instructor, Cecily because she had an early conference call for work.

That left Madison and Emily.

"Well, we're all going to miss you, Maddie, especially me. You saved my life, I can't thank you enough. I wish I could repay you," Emily said.

"Seeing your face right now, Emily? That's the only repayment I need," Madison said.

Emily leaned over, embraced her and said it, "I mean it. I owe you."

Madison pulled back and looked at Emily, "You did it, because you're a strong woman who deserved a better life. And you're on your way to one. Never forget how good you are. You're the hero, Em."

Emily nodded back. With the help of her therapist and good friends, she was starting to believe it.

The two talked a little more before Emily had to leave as well, hailing a cab to the apartment she now shared with her sister.

"Good luck, girl. And stay in touch?" Emily said.

"You know it, Em."

The following morning

Madison took out the last of the things she had in her apartment, putting her suitcase and a few other important things in the trunk. She handed her keys over the apartment manager.

She took several deep breaths, looking at the building. This had been her place, her true home.
"Maybe one day, you'll be back, girl," Madison said with wistful uncertainty. "At least I hope so."

On her way out of town, she wanted one last treat, a stop at one of her favorite restaurants. She ordered her favorite-- a spicy chorizo omelette. As she sipped her coffee, she saw a familiar face come into the restaurant.

"Holy shit. It can't be," she thought.

It was John Elder, who went to her high school. He was one of those guys who was both jock and theater kid. And he didn't just do the latter to "meet chicks." He actually "worked at his craft," as they say. She saw it first hand because she, well, Henry, was in the casts, too.

"Please don't recognize me," she thought. "Oh, no. He's walking towards me. No, no, n-"

"Hi," he said. "Sorry to bother you, but could I borrow that front section?" he asked, pointing at the newspaper beside her.

"Um, sure. Here you go."

"Thanks, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a lot on my mind. I'm moving today because of my job."

"Well, this seems like a nice town, I'm just visiting on business, but it looks like a good place to settle down."

"It is, or was," she said. "I hate to leave it."

"That's too bad. What do you do?"

"I.T. By the way, I'm Lexi," she said, hoping to throw him off.

Before she knew it, Madison and John had roped themselves into a conversation. Here she was, talking with someone who was one of the hottest guys in her high school and he'd gotten even more attractive. And he didn't seem to recognize her.

The conversation went so well that, if she weren't moving and if he weren't her high school crush, she'd have asked for his number. But she was moving and so she made her move to leave.

"It was really nice meeting you, Lexi and if I may," John leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Good luck to you."

December 31, 2022

Madison looked at her face in the mirror as she applied her makeup, the preceding years having contributed to her dysphoria, the weight of regret having hung heavy.

She wished she'd taken Kristin up on that offer. As it turned out, the transfer could not have gotten worse.

Her new office was in a "right-to-work" state without protections for trans employees. It went well until, somehow, her supervisor, one Edward Corbin discovered she was trans. He was a smug man with all the charm of foot fungus, a man who took a hands-on interest in local politics. She later learned just how "hands-on" when his status as a self-loathing closet case when he was spotted at a hotel with the very anti-gay mayor.

That happened too late to help her, as Corbin had already made her life hell -- impossible requests, sabotaged work, performance reviews that went from perfect to terrible.

She documented what she could, but the company chucked her aside rather than deal with the headache, leaving her with a pittance of a severance.

Corbin's taking a flamethrower to her made it almost impossible to get a job. She had to move back home. Worse, the lack of a job forced her to detransition, because she just couldn't afford the care.

Back in her hometown, back to life as Henry, she withdrew, finally deactivating Madison's social media, leaving Emily, Cecily, Kristin and everybody else behind. All they knew was that she couldn't find work. Then she was gone. All they could do was hope that she'd somehow be okay.

She wasn't, but the last year changed things. Her sisters, Hannah and Hailey, had tried to no avail to bring Madison back.

It was Hank who did the trick. He had her come over to the house, saying he had "something important" to talk to her about.

She tried to beg off, but his tone grew stern, "Henry Michael Sander, I want you here in an hour."

Knowing the power of the invocation of the middle name, she paused her work. At least she didn't have to go into an office anymore, all the better to avoid people.

When she arrived, Hank motioned her into his office. His face showing more kindness than his voice did on the phone, he asked her to sit.

"I have to tell you that I'm proud of you in a lot of ways. You were dealt a bad hand, but you've come through with a good job where I hear they're happy with you."

"Thanks, Dad."

"But I'm not finished. See, I remember when you were young, how you were a bright happy kid until, you know. But then, when you started living as Madison, we saw our child happy again. We told you we had your back."

"I know, Dad."

"When you came back and started living as Henry. again, I thought it was because you'd explored your gender and found that living as a woman wasn't right for you. Your mom and I respected that."

"But, but that wasn't it."

"You told us it was, but it's become clear that you told us that because you wanted us to think you were happy. But that's not the case. You look more miserable now than you ever have. If we're going to have your back, we have to tell you we miss Madison."

"Dad, please. You know I can't risk it again," she said.

"Which brings me to why I wanted you to come over," Hank said. "I recently reconnected with an old college friend of mine who's moved here to take over his uncle's company. He could use someone with your IT expertise. I told him that you might be interested in the job and asked about their equality policies. He said they were top notch and that his trans daughter who heads up H.R. would kill him if they weren't."

"Are you saying what I think-"

"Yes, if you handle the interview, you've got the job. Madison can have a safe place to come back. It's something I know deep down that you've wanted. Now's your chance."

"Oh, Dad," Madison said, starting to cry as she leapt up to hug her dad. "Yes. Yes, I do. Thankyouthankyouthankyou."

Madison had indeed aced the interview. With the help of Corinne at H.R., who knew some people, she was back on HRT. She was full-time again not long after.

As the year came to an end, she was still feeling the pain of her time away, she resolved that in the new year, she wouldn't just exist, she would thrive.

December 27, 2023

The year had indeed gone well. Her endo had her on a higher dosage and her body took to it. Now, over a year later, if she didn't look like she did in her first transition, she was getting closer. She felt comfortable in her own skin, but also felt more than a twinge of regret.

She missed her California friends, but figured they'd moved on, that they'd be angry that she abandoned them. She'd always be grateful, but she thought it would be best if this were her life now.

She went to check her mail, nothing but the usual junk mail. But as she approached her apartment door, she saw a package just to the side. Picking it up, she saw a name she hadn't seen in forever on the return address -- Cecily Hilgendorf.

"Oh, my God. How did she find me?" Madison asked, tearing the package open and pulling out a letter first.

"Hey here, long time no see," Cecily wrote. "Sorry if this comes as a shock, but I've been trying to find you for a while with some sad news.

Emily passed away a year ago in an accident. She'd always wanted to reconnect with you, not just because you were a good friend, but because you saved her life that night.

I know this will be a shock, as it was to us. And it still hurts, as I suspect you're hurting now."

Madison set the letter down, and started to cry uncontrollably. "No, Em. Goddamit. No."

She didn't know how long she'd been crying, it felt like forever. She picked up the letter and began reading Cecily's words again. "But you need to know. Even though she was taken from us too soon, the years you helped give her getting away from Scott meant so much to all of us."

'You have no idea how much. Around the time you disappeared online, she started dating Greg. He is, to put it mildly, everything Scott wasn't. Their courtship was a fast one. They were married months later. She had two kids who got the best of both of them. In the red envelope, you'll see some pictures."

Madison stopped and sifted through to find the red envelope. She opened it and there were pictures of Emily, of Greg, who was undeniably handsome. "Nice catch, Em," she said sadly out of reflex. There were the two kids, the older one a brown-haired boy who looked like he was already a handful in the way boys of that age can be and a red-haired girl who was, in every way but that hair color, a spitting image of her mother. She started to cry again.

The letter continued, "That's Logan, he's six. And that's Madison, who's four."

"No, you're kidding me. No."

"Yes, she's named after you. Emily always told me that if she ever had a daughter, she was going to name her after you. As you remember, my sister was true to her word."

Madison cried again, more than the last time. This was too much.

"The last thing Emily did was save her life. A scaffolding fell. Logan was ahead of them a little further. Emily shoved Madison out of the way, but didn't have enough time to get out herself."

This was so much to take in. Her best friend in those years gone. She had kids, a family and she's gone. And naming her daughter after her? She didn't deserve that.

"The first point of all this is to let you know how grateful I am, how grateful Emily was, how grateful Greg and his family are, for the part you had in all of the good things Emily experienced. The second point is, we'd love to connect or reconnect, as the case may be. We've missed you so much and as we've been reminded, life is too short. I don't know why you disappeared, but I figure you had a good reason. Just know, you're always welcome back. Kristin says so, too. I could catch you up on her, but I'll save that as a little incentive for you. Please, stay in touch. We don't want to lose you again. Love, Cecily."

Madison was still crying when there was a knock on her door. Hannah came in, saying, "Hey, what's up, sis?"

She saw Madison, still not dressed for the day, her face red and her eyes swollen. "Oh, dear. What's the matter?"

Madison handed her the letter, only able to get out, "Remember what I told you about what happened in California?"

Hannah read the letter, crying herself while consoling her sister.

"I feel terrible. Emily's gone. She's gone and she probably thought-"

"Stop that, Maddie. If she really thought you hated her, I highly doubt she'd name her daughter after you."

"But-

"No buts about it. I don't pull rank against you as your older sister often, dear Madison, but I'm doing it now. You are going to reconnect with these people. You owe it to them and you owe it to yourself."

"You're right. I just hope they can forgive me," Madison said.

"If Cecily's any indication, I think you're in good shape," Hannah said.

Madison reactivated her old accounts, hoping that Kristin and Cecily would still be, but she went to Emily's first, scrolling past the posts of people expressing grief and loss to see what she said, looking at more photos.

Before she knew it, she heard that beeping sound. It was a PM from Kristin: "Howdy, stranger. ;) "

That cued a long talk with details, such as Kristin was getting married next year, ironically to the woman who ran that breakfast shop.

Meanwhile, Hailey, who couldn't wait to get out of her office, came over. Hannah left for a while, saying she had things to do.

Eventually, Madison was exhausted from all the emotions of the day, but Hannah returned with one more surprise.

"Madison, this is an extension of my prior rank pull," she said. "I want to make sure you follow through on this. So, I made some calls and you, me, and Hailey are cordially invited to spend New Year's at Emily's husband's place. Your friends will be there. The whole deal."

"But I can't-"

"Already taken care of, Maddie," Hannah said as she pulled three plane tickets out of her purse. "Get yourself ready tomorrow, because you're going West, young lady."

"I can't believe it. Are you serious?" Madison said, giving Hannah the second-biggest hug (behind the one to Dad) she'd ever given anyone in her whole life.

Two days later, Madison, Hailey and Hannah arrived on time, getting settle in their hotel. As much as she wanted to get a good night's sleep, Madison was too nervous thinking about tomorrow for that to happen, half-expecting to wake up back in the old house as Henry Jr.

She slept in, though. Nervously, she got ready, unsure of which outfit to go with until Hannah threw up her hands and said, "Come on, just wear the black dress already!"

They arrived outside the city at Greg's house. He came outside, greeting them warmly. As he hugged Madison, he said. "It's so great to finally meet you. Emily described you accurately."

It was clear this would be a day for hugs and tears, as Cecily and Kristin and her partner soon arrived.
There was so much to catch up on, mixed with most emotions in the book.

Greg had gone into the house, when he came out, there were two little kids in tow. "Madison, this is Logan."

"Hi!"

And this is Madison, "Hello, Madison."

"Hello, young lady. My name is Madison, too. I'm lucky to have that name."

"Mommy said Madison was a hero."

Her heart breaking inside, Madison said, "That's very sweet of your Mommy."

The two kids went back inside to get ready for Greg's parents to pick them up.

"I'm certainly not a hero, Greg. Emily overstated that," Madison told him. "I was just helping a friend in a time of need."

"I know, but you're still a good person and apparently a scary good driver," he said.

"Yeah, well, I had the advantage of having a great dad and not being drunk and blinded by rage. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for her all that time."

"I know and Emily knew," Greg said. "She was worried that you went back to your old life with your job situation and that's why you disappeared.

Madison nodded.

"She missed you a lot, but she understood, but she also never lost hope you'd be back and here you are," he said.

"But I came back too late," she said, crying.

"That's just bad luck, but, still, she was right. Cecily's thrilled, so's Kristin. And, you know, any time Aunt Madison wants to come over, you're always welcome."

"Oh, Greg. Cecily told me how great of a guy you were, but I think she undersold it," she said, giving him a hug.

"Now who's overstating things?" he said. "Come on, let's go back inside."

Madison made sure Cecily got her hug, too. "I'm so glad you got in touch with me. I'm just so sorry it was under these circumstances," she said.

"Me too," Cecily replied. "I'm sorry for what happened to you. Hannah told me all about it. I can't even imagine."

"It's not the same thing, Cecily. I wish I'd handled it better. I used to tell Emily all the time how strong was, that she deserved a better life and she got it. Now, she's gone and I screwed mine up for so long."

"Madison heal thyself," Cecily said.

"I'm working on it, but that is such an Emily thing to say."

"That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me," Cecily said, tearing as she wrapped her arms around Madison.

Later in the midst everybody catching up, Kristin took Madison aside.

"Remember when I told you back then that our company was stable and a great place to work. You see, I'm in charge of hiring now and we have need for someone with your particular set of skills. We'd love to have you here," she said. After writing a number down she showed Madison, "And that's base, not counting benefits.

"Are you serious?"

"Never been more serious. We regretted letting you go the first time, Maddie. We don't want it to happen again."

Madison stepped outside to think. It was a big move, but, wow, she could actually do it. She could be back at Madison's place. "I think I might have t-"

That's when a blue sedan pulled into the driveway. The man who got out approached the house. As he got closer to the house, Madison's jaw dropped. He had a well-trimmed beard now, but...

"John?"

"Madison, so great to see you," he said.

"But what are you doing here?"

"I'm hear for New Year's Eve. Greg's my brother, stepbrother, actually. I moved to town a month ago because we went into business together," he said, before adding, "You look great, much better than you did in high school."

"Th-thanks."

"I mean, I thought you were cute then, but now?"

"Wait. You thought I was cute in high school and you didn't say anything?" she said.

"Well, I had some hangups back then, cared too much about what other people thought. I got over that crap in college," he said.

The two went back inside. With all the conversation possibilities, Madison and John gravitated towards each other, something Hailey noticed as she gave Hannah an elbow bump and subtly nodded in their direction.

Cecily came over to the pair and said, "Glad you're both here. I understand you went to high school together. This is Handsome Pete, I take it?"

Madison turned beet red, turned to John and said, "It's the nickname I gave you when I told them about a cute guy I had a crush on in high school."

He smiled and said, "Well, I guess what's good for the goose is good for the Sander."

"Dork," Madison said, giving him a playful shot to his upper arm. She looked at Cecily and said, "I take it John is how you found me?"

Before Cecily could respond, John said, "Guilty as charged. I knew that Cecily was looking for Madison and the story about how you got Emily away from that bastard Scott. But I only knew you as Lexi. It wasn't until last week when you came up in conversation that Cecily showed a pic of you with Emily that I realized. You should have seen her face when I told her. She got a hold of your parents and got your address and, well, here we are."

"Wait, you said 'Lexi.' You recognized me that day?

"Not at first, I was too busy enjoying your company, but I did eventually realize. It was your eyes, not as sad as I remember them looking in high school, but it seemed like you didn't want to be recognized. So, I played along."

"I guess we don't have to do that any more," she said.

"We certainly don't," John replied.

"Well, then, what's good for the Sander is good for the goose," she smirked.

"Madison, just for that, I'm going to have to kiss you," he replied.

She broke out into a huge smile and said, "Just for that, you have my permission."

The kiss may have only been a few seconds,but felt like hours. It was at least long enough for everyone to notice.

"Well, it looks like our sister's dating life is looking up again," Hailey said.

"I think you might be right," Hannah said, knowing that Madison hadn't dated at all since her detransition, as doing so then as a "gay man" would have sent her dysphoria off the charts.

As the day wore on, Madison realized how much she missed this place. And that was before John was in the picture. But she also had an idea.

She approached Kristin. "If you're serious about that offer, I'm in," she said. "I do have one other question. Do you have an accountancy position open? My sister Hailey has been looking for a be-"

"Look, Sander. You're a new hire. Do you think you can just try to use your connections to, sorry, I can't do this. Your other sister had the same idea and she brought a copy of Hailey's resume and I have to say it looks pretty good."

"Oh, oh. That's great," Madison said.

The good spirits continued through dinner. As it wound down, Greg mumbled an "Ahem."

Everyone looked in his direction. "After the last year, I can't pretend to know the reason for everything that's happened, but for as much as it hurts, it feels like Emily's still watching over us. She used to tell John about this friend she had who would have been perfect for him and that she always felt bad she couldn't introduce them. Well, I think she just has."

"Well, that's your cue," Kristin's fiance, Isabel, said. "Kiss her!"

And so John did with no small amount of passion.

When they finished, Madison smiled at him, saying, "You're going to kiss me because someone tells you to? I thought you didn't care what people thought."

He winked and said, "In this case, I'll make an exception."

Madison later slipped out to the patio without anyone looking, wine in hand. She resolved to never forget that wherever she lived was her place, her home. That said she couldn't wait to be back here, now probably with one of her sisters and definitely John. "Handsome? You definitely undersold that, Maddie," she thought.

She looked up at the sky, glad that it was so cloudless as to be perfect. She said, "Em, I told you that you were under no obligation to repay me anything at all, but after all this time, I think you have."

The clatter of the party felt more distant as she became lost in her thoughts. Her reverie was broken by sound of the patio door opening and her sisters moving next to her.

"You know, sis, it's getting late and your boyfriend has a spot next to him waiting," Hailey teasingly pronouncing 'boyfriend' like she was about to say they were "k-i-s-s-i-n-g in a tree."

Madison playfully elbowed her saying, "Watch it. Just because we might both be living here-" and they broke out laughing. She looked at Hannah and said,"Thank you so much for this."

"It wasn't anything I wouldn't do for either of you. Now, don't say I didn't get you anything," Hannah said, provoking more laughter.

It was Cecily's turn to poke her head out the door. "Hey, it's getting close to midnight. Ready to join us?"

Hailey and Hannah agreed and went back inside. Madison turned to follow them, seeing John waiting with a warm expression on his face. She looked back, gave one last look at that gorgeous night sky, raised her glass with the last of its wine and said, "Here's to Emily."