This is the second chapter of the sequel to the novel Taylor, which was published as a Kindle book. All the proceeds from Taylor and Taylor, Too! are for BigCloset. I hope you take the time to read this and tell me what you think. As always, I appreciate constructive criticism. I think it only makes the story better. I am writing this one chapter at a time, so your imput is important in making this a better book.

Don't tell anyone, but I went back and doubled the size of chapter one as it is published here for your reading pleasure.
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Chapter Two

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Taylor sat up straight as the three of them crowded onto the bed together. Her mom, Molly had placed her oversized portfolio book in Taylor’s lap. Taylor grinned as her mom and Emma looked on as Taylor turned the pages.

Emma was enjoying all of this. Their mom had been trying extra hard to help her little sister succeed. She’d confided that she wanted Taylor to feel comfortable and if that took baby steps towards her transitioning, well, it was okay. The whole family knew that all of Taylor’s life had been spent being mentally female and stuck in a boy’s body. Now, everyone in the family wanted to ensure everything went well, and Taylor stayed happy. Especially, after it came out that Rich's mom and dad, Taylor's grandparents, had abused her both physically and mentally when Taylor was twelve-years-old at the family Christmas party.

The part Emma enjoyed the most was that their mom was doing everything she could to help. The two of them were trying to spend as much time helping the young fifteen-year-old. And that included getting out her old portfolios back in the days when she modeled. The two kids had briefly heard about those days, but their mom had given up that career to become a doctor and a parent. Emma was really enjoying this moment because modeling was so glamorous and well, doctoring was just hard work. “Oh wow, Mom! Look at all the photos of you!”

Molly laughed and blushed. To this day, she was much more comfortable being a mom than a model. The kids were flipping through the pages which also included lingerie and bathing suit modeling. “Okay. But let’s limit our time today to those first five pages. Those are the photos that were taken when I was about your age, Taylor. I just wanted you to see that being skinny is not a handicap in the modeling field.

"As a matter of fact, even older models used to starve themselves to have a skinny, boy-like body. When I was modeling, I witnessed a lot of self-abuse, drug taking, and mental health problems with what you'd call body shaming. It wasn't unusual for a clothing designer to start to criticize the models because his clothes didn't look perfect. Times have changed, but not that much. I know Emma thinks that models are the top of the social world, but from the inside it wasn't all that pretty."

Taylor laughed. “Right. I'm looking at your pictures and see just how pretty you were back then. And you are a beautiful mom, too. But, my handicap is that I am stuck in a boy’s body. I can't pretend to be a girl with what I have.”

Emma laughed. “I thought that the doctors were going to help you out with that. Aren’t you going to start some medications to help you along?”

“Mom says that I can probably start taking blockers to stop my testosterone from spreading. But that’s just going to keep me from getting all guy-like from puberty. Even if the doctors approve, I’m not starting estrogen now.”

Molly nodded. “Well, honey. Let's not get down about something you aren't sure of. I’m not in charge here. But, after you spend some time with the doctors, they will help you decide when you can begin taking hormones.”

Taylor sat up straight. She was feeling a little desperate. “You know, I want to begin now. I don’t see any reason that I should wait. I want a female body to match my female mind. I don’t want to be reminded of what’s between my legs.”

Her mom raised her hand. “Whoa. I hear you, but that’s not the way to handle this. You’ve got to stay rational about this new world you’re headed towards. The doctors have to be impressed with your maturity if you want them to treat you like a young adult.”

“Okay, Mom. I hear you but it’s all I’ve ever thought about. I can’t tell you how many prayers I’ve prayed or how many times I’ve closed my eyes and made a wish. Except for the past couple of years when I kinda blocked it out, there was never anything I wanted more than to live my life as a girl.”

Her mom nodded. “We all know that and sympathize with you. We are all on your side and only hope the doctors agree. But they have guidelines and rules. It’s more about them making sure they are doing the correct thing before they start you on estrogen.”

“Well, I have looked this up. Once I start to take blockers, that’s pretty much the direction I’ll be headed. Those anti-androgen medications take away all my hormone activity and that's not healthy either."

Molly nodded. "That is true. From what I understand, you can only take blockers alone temporarily."

Taylor nodded vigorously. "And taking estrogen isn’t going to do anything for many months. And all the effects those chemicals have on my body are reversible, too.”

Molly wagged her finger. “Up to a certain point. After a time, there are permanent effects and some aren't reversible. Blockers can castrate you, and estrogen will change your physical body. Doctors are in it for helping you over the long haul, not the quick fix. And let's remember, a lot of young people are impulsive and want everything to happen for them yesterday.”

Taylor smiled. “I think my long haul is over. I’ve always wanted this and I am seriously interested in the quick fix now. Snip, snip.”

Emma looked confused. “Well, obviously, you’ve done your research. But, no boobies in your near future, huh?”

Taylor looked at her mom and watched her shake her head. She turned back to her sister and frowned. “Nope. Even if I were to start estrogen today, it’s going to be six to nine months before much is going to happen. I’m stuck with fake boobs. We even bought some pads for my butt and hips at the store today.”

Emma grinned. “Really? Will you model them for me? I think it would be great to see what eighteen-year-old Taylor is going to look like.”

Taylor frowned. “Nope. Never. Not a chance. Maybe if somebody was pointing a gun at my head. Seriously, it’s bad enough to be reminded that I’m a big fake, but all those pads make me feel stupid. It’s frustrating.”

Emma hugged her sister and watched her wipe her eyes. “Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that was such a sensitive point. But, you still have to be happy to be able to just declare yourself as female now.”

Taylor nodded. “Sure. It's still a dream come true. And I have to be happy for all the support everyone is giving me. And, well, I must keep reminding myself that everything could be much worse.”

Molly shook her head. “Okay. So I still want to make a point here, and that’s why I dragged this book out. When I say that my body was underdeveloped and I was flat chested and had no hips or butt, it’s really not an issue. Remember, I was hired and worked as much as I wanted with my stick figure.”

Taylor studied the photos. Her mom was just a tall, skinny kid. “Mom, how old were you?”

Molly had to think for a minute. “I think I was almost sixteen when I started. You can ask Marg when you talk to her. I’m sure she’s got records and signed contracts. She’s always been good on her paperwork.”

Molly wrapped her arms around her daughter. “See. It’s okay. Tall, skinny, and underdeveloped are accepted. Just stop comparing yourself to everyone else. All that does is make you feel bad. Your happiness and that smile of yours are things of beauty. That’s what the photographers want to capture. Be proud of yourself.”

Taylor sighed. She started to think about how body shaming only worked if the person let it get to them. She’d already promised Emma that she’d stay off social media. “I will work hard to keep the trolls from affecting me. I promised Emma to avoid social media, and I’m going to just be myself.”

Emma smiled. “Bravo, little sister. Don’t let the naysayers get you down, and don’t start thinking that having thousands of followers make you a better person.”

Molly was pleased with how Taylor seemed to be receptive to taking advice.

Emma was looking at her phone. “Okay. So, here’s something exciting. At Paris fashion week, they sprayed a model with latex paint, and all she wore was a thong. She’s almost as famous as a Kardashian. Look at her supposedly perfect body; you can see some loose flesh, too. C’mon, little sis. Nobody’s body totally makes them feel like they want it to be.”

Taylor stood up. “Okay. Lesson learned. I get it.” She sighed. “I’m going to start living Marg’s words, ‘nobody’s perfect.’ I guess that should be my mantra.”

Emma’s phone buzzed. She studied the message. “Hey. So, Abby just texted me. She and Darla are headed to the mall.” She turned to her mom, still packing up the photo book. “I’ll be back by dinner, okay?” Then, she turned to Taylor. “You want to hang out with us?”

Molly shook her head. “Taylor and I have some stuff to do.” She looked at Taylor. “We need to work on Taylor’s schedule and decide some doctor stuff.”

Emma smiled. “Okay. See you later.”

Taylor looked at her mom. “Schedule stuff? More doctors?” Everything was starting to snowball.

“Well, yes. You need a physical and blood work. So, I made an online appointment for you at Lab Corp to get some blood work done first thing in the morning. And your pediatrician needs to update your chart before you meet with Dr. Franklin again. If you don’t mind, that’s tomorrow after your lab work. I think it’s just a walk in the park. But you need her to sign off before the doctor prescribes any medications.”

Taylor nodded. “You want to talk to me. I can tell.”

Molly sighed. “I just don’t want you to bottle anything up anymore. After you finally spilled the beans about Rich’s parents and their abuse, I don’t want you to keep anything inside again. If there is something bothering you, I want to hear about it. And it doesn’t have to be important stuff. I want to hear everything that’s on your mind.”

“Okay. But why the talk? I’m doing okay now. All of that is in my past.”

“Well, honey. By keeping all of that bottled up, you hurt yourself a lot. I believe if you had said something right away, you might not have filled yourself full of trauma for the past two years. And really, stuff like that should be aired to see the light of day. That’s in your past but you’re going to be walking out in the sun with new issues to face. It’s those unknowns that worry me.”

“Okay.”

“Good. Because now that you’re coming out, I think that strangers will hear about you and some will seek you out for abuse. Even if you just stay the way you are and just be yourself, some people out there think you are doing an evil thing. Some folks have very rigid beliefs they think that everyone should follow. They see themselves as the morality police. And they have families that they preach these values to. Some of those kids you will meet have heard strange things at home. Some parents might want to see you punished because your beliefs don’t align with theirs.

“Those same parents might decide that it’s all our faults. Because we love and support you, because we’re the adults, it is us they blame. Some people might boycott your father’s business and some people will question my medical skills. Even Emma will hear about it from classmates who are already jealous of her.”

Taylor quietly listened.

“So, there will be kids at school who want to please their mom or dad. And those students might feel that you need to be punished so they can please their parents.”

Taylor stared at her mom. “I’m having trouble with that concept, but the doctor did say something about self-defense classes.”

Molly smiled. “I already found you a good, clean place to learn. It’s called Countryside Dojo, and your first lessons are this week. We’re going to stop by there tomorrow after your physical to pick up your jacket and pants. You’ll get to look around and talk to the instructors.”

Taylor’s head was spinning. She tried to remind herself that the first step was the hardest, and if this was what she wanted, she needed to keep moving forward. “Okay. But is it okay to tell you that I’m scared?”

Molly reached out and took her daughter’s hands in hers. “Scared is a good thing. It makes you pay attention, and it will quicken your reaction times. Look, I’m going to be honest. I am always working with a little scared voice inside my own head that ensures I’m headed in the right direction. Self-doubt and self-questioning is good in small doses. And I’m going to be here by your side to keep you safe and loved. “Now, call your friends and see if your girlfriends want to do something with you this afternoon.”

Taylor nodded and watched her mom walk out of the room. She picked up her phone and called Meredith, one of the girls she’d bumped into in the mall. When Meredith answered, she took a deep breath. “Hey, this is Taylor Johnson. How are you?”

“Oh, Taylor. I am so glad that you called. After seeing you in the mall the other day with that incredibly handsome boyfriend of yours, we wanted to find a way to get together with you. My mom suggested we have lunch and hang around Julie’s pool for the afternoon. How about Thursday?”

Taylor’s head was spinning over the word pool. Pool meant a bathing suit, and a bathing suit meant all sorts of awkward instances. She was trying to think how she’d look trying to tuck her wiener into a bathing suit. “Uh, sure. Getting together with you guys sounds great. But, well, I’m a little anxious about wearing a bathing suit.”

Meredith laughed. “Duh. Yeah, I never thought of that. We’ve just always seen you as one of the girls. Hmm. You can wear a suit and maybe a coverup, too. Honestly, Taylor, we are not trying to make this hard for you. Seriously. I always liked you and was kinda bummed out when you didn’t want to be my friend. This is not some sort of evil, bad-girl move. Please, if the pool idea isn’t good, we can think of something else.”

Taylor took a deep breath. “No. That’s going to be fine. I’ll figure something out, and I really want to hang with you guys. I really want to be your friend very much. I’m sorry about the past couple of years, and maybe I’ll try to explain what happened.”

Meredith laughed. “Good. And now that we’ve covered that. You have to tell me all about Andrew.”

“You remembered his name, huh?”

“Oh, Taylor. He’s dreamy, and well, we all saw the way he was looking at you.”