Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 22

I finished my tasks so I could leave early that included making a reservation for dinner for Emily and Ms Parkinson. I told Emily that I’d try to meet them later and perhaps join them for desert or coffee. I’d explained to the restaurant who were very helpful since we’d used it many times when George and I visited for private meetings or with key customers. I wondered if they’d recognize me with the changes in my appearance but at least I knew they were discreet. I asked for a quiet table.

I was cutting it fine to spend time visiting mum and dad and then get back to meet Emily and Ms Parkinson, so I decided that I didn’t have time to go inside my apartment, so I exited the taxi and to collect my car from the multi-Storey. I really wished I’d had time to change into something more casual and less feminine because turning up wearing a skirt was probably asking for trouble. I was optimistic since I’d found a sympathetic manager who was helpful and understanding about my situation, but I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of other visitors if mum became stressed again. I decided to report directly to the manager’s office on arrival and his deputy was on duty who I’d met on my previous visit. She commented positively on my outfit and suggested that she introduce me as Julian’s girlfriend from work and that he was out of town on a business trip.
She suggested that if I was to visit regularly dressed as I was then I should keep up the façade since it was unlikely that she would understand that her son had become her daughter and appear as myself from time to time. She was deteriorating fast and soon she’d have no recollection of me or anybody else. So I agreed to introduce myself as a serious girlfriend and that we were living together and hoped we’d be married soon when mum was feeling better. She said this might help calm mum and hopefully she would co-operate more and eat properly and let the nurses help her to shower and dress. She had been refusing to take her medication. Dad was not a problem since his dementia was further advanced and the same for my aunt. Both were being well treated and seemed healthy although she told me that their memories were in serious decline.

I felt awkward and guilty initially because I was deceiving mum but gradually, I could see her eyes lighting up as if she was waking from a deep sleep. She didn’t reject me or cause a scene and she seemed really pleased to hear that her son had a steady girlfriend, so I was accepted with her arms reaching out and a smile. I stepped forward to hug her in her seat and our faces were close, but she didn’t recognize me under the make-up and with my hair styled. How could this be? We sat down and mum insisted to keep hold of my hand. She already seemed much more alert than in recent visits and very keen to chat. Usually, I couldn’t get a word out of her.

She asked if I liked him and if we were in love and if we would be having a family so she could be a grandmother. All in one short sentence. It was difficult to respond since I didn’t like telling lies and I was still her son dressed in female clothes and when she was fit and herself I’s expected her to be angry if she knew that I cross-dressed. But she seemed so happy. She sat up straight and took hold of both my hands and told me that I was beautiful and that I’d make wonderful bride. Then she put her arms around me and hugged me placing her head on my shoulder and I didn’t want her to let go. It had been ages since we’d hugged and at least it was some form of acceptance.

After a few minutes I was able to gently maneuver her back into her seat and pour some tea that had been delivered with some biscuits since it was normal practice during family visits. It felt weird for my own mum to be chatting to me as the girlfriend of her own son and be so welcoming to someone who was seemingly a perfect stranger. I had not seen mum smile at me the way she was doing now since I was a teenager. All because she believed that I had finally met a girl who I might marry and settle down with a family one day soon. I wished for her sake that all this was true but relationships and girlfriends had not been high on my agenda.

I kept expecting her to recognize me and then cry out or suddenly reject me as a stranger like she did in my previous visit. She became even more accepting and friendly asking me questions about where I came from and how long we’d been dating and where I lived. Then the bombshell question had we made love together and was I able to satisfy her as she had been satisfied when she first met my father.

This was getting too much for me and going too far too quickly. I wanted to tell the truth, but I couldn’t, she seemed to be chatting more normally than I’d seen in ages even if the subject was embarrassing for me. So, I played along and pretended to be shy. Due to her persistence, I finally told her that I had been part of Julian’s life since he was a teenager and eventually y a few years ago he’d plucked up the courage to ask me out. We’d kept our friendship secret because I had a long-term boyfriend and then after a few dates I knew this was serious. I then decided to say that we worked together and that a few weeks ago I’d moved in with him and was now part of his life.

She wanted to know why he’d never taken me home to meet her and dad. I suppose I answered truthfully saying that he was too shy to admit he had a girlfriend to anybody, and risk having to answer inquisitions and share his personal feelings. At first it seemed that mum accepted this explanation until I realized that she had probably become puzzled and confused again. But then she surprised me and shed a few tears. She looked into my eyes and just said that Julian was always shy and secretive, but he still did very well, and she was proud of him. Now I had to wipe a tear and look away. She took my arm and said now she felt sure that he was going to be very happy, and she was determined to get well as soon as possible to enjoy some time together. She asked if I’d visit again soon and take her out somewhere shopping. She wanted to find dad to tell him but she couldn’t find him anywhere. In truth his situation was deteriorating, and he was sedated.

The visit upset me, but the manageress was delighted that her suggestion had worked and at the response from mum. She was certain that mum had not realized she was talking to her son even though I’d had my doubts at times. I called in to see dad and my aunt, but neither were awake. They were sleeping like babies in their rooms. So peaceful with little hope of improvement so I was advised to visit as often as I liked and to spend as much time with mum as possible.

I burst out crying when I reached my car to leave. I could put up with the changes of my situation at work but watching my only family fade away was unbearable. Why was life so cruel’ I was determined to make the best of the situation whilst ever I could start with proving my innocence and establishing if Emily was being true to me. I couldn’t call home since the restaurant was at the other side of town, so I made a stop at a shopping arcade to freshen up and re-apply my make-up. At least mum liked me as Julie, so I was determined to make time to take her out whilst ever she was well enough. As long as she didn’t expect to go shopping for a wedding outfit.

By the time I arrived at the restaurant to meet Emily and Ms Parkinson I had recovered although I didn’t exactly look my best. The restrooms were not ideal for a make-over and paper towels weren’t a substitute for a soft towel.

When I reached the dining area, I was met by a familiar face who was the head waiter. He looked me up and down but didn’t say anything about recognizing me and just referred to me as Miss as he asked if he could help and if I was dining alone. When I told him I was meeting 2 guests and the company name the light went on. I knew that he was gay but not that that mattered much since he didn’t hide the fact. It was just that he seemed disappointed to see me as I was.

Emily and Ms Parkinson welcomed me and had just finished their main course. I was introduced as Julie Ann and Ms Parkinson insisted that I call her Pam. Emily asked about mum, but I didn’t want to say too much and just said she was better than I’d expected, and I was glad that I’d visited. Pam looked very professional, and I felt a little under dressed alongside the two of them.

.I ordered some fresh fruit as a desert and some coffee that I needed. Then they updated me on their conversation about George and their ideas for the visit to Manchester. They hoped that my appearance would deflect attention away from the real agenda that was to establish a connection between George and Jacks offshore companies. Pam had already established that George and Jack had been on a trip to Cayman Islands together that would have probably been to appoint the required company officers and bank accounts. There was no confirmation yet whether or not George had funded Jacks business in Manchester Time would tell.

Then I was asked to talk about other key staff in our organization and about the systems and procedures for financial approvals and expenditures. George did keep a lot of things to himself and dealt directly with Frobisher. Accounts were audited internally and by an outside audit company introduced by Frobisher that was not my decision. Emily had evidence to confirm my comment.

I gave a list of the key employees in the Finance department and their job titles and Pam said she’d be interviewing them one by one in the next few days. She wanted to install a new accounting software within the next few months for tighter control and focus on bad debts and cash control. We were too generous with suppliers and not firm enough with customers. All good stuff but say it easy.

I found Pam to be very astute and much sharper than Frobisher and I could see why she was rated by Emily. They were similar in personality, and both seemed to be out to prove themselves in what they perceived to be a man’s world. Sometimes they seemed to ignore that I was still a man underneath.

When we’d finished Emily paid the bill and then held me back to let Pam leave ahead of us. She said that she hoped I could see why she had appointed Pam and that she was a person of high integrity who had been head hunted by Dee Devlin. I said that I believed that she would stir things up and send a few ripples through the Company. She seemed nice too.

The other reason that Emily wanted to talk was to check how I’d been received at the care home since I was still in the outfit she’d recommended earlier in the day. I burst into tears and told her my concerns about all three of them but on the brighter side the manager had recommended she introduce me as my girlfriend, and it worked. Mum had seemed so pleased to hear that I was in a relationship and that we were in fact living together with plans to marry. Mum had seemed to come back to life.

‘Julie that’s amazing. I’ve been worried about you ever since you left the office. I’m so happy for you and I hope your mum wasn’t too confused.’

‘That’s the point. She wasn’t confused and she seems to look forward to me taking her out and to recovering enough to go home and be fit for my wedding.’

‘Well Julie I hope that I get invited. But joking apart I’ve heard certain things can stimulate a dementia patient and if you need my help at all I’ll be happy to assist.’

‘I might need your help with the wedding dress.’

‘Very funny. Come on we have another long day tomorrow and we need our beauty sleep.’