Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 20

Emily called just to say that she had arrived at her apartment safely and that she hoped that I’d decided on an outfit for work the following day and started planning outfits for the week ahead to include the night out in Manchester and the weekend trip to London. In truth I’d just sat down on my sofa and curled my feet under me reflecting on the weekend and how best to face up to the challenge of appearing at work as Julie and how I might explain what happened for anybody who commented or asked.

Emily made it all sound easy but there would be no going back once I disclosed my feminine side. It seemed much easier for a woman to dress in masculine clothes and leave off make-up and change her mind and revert than for a man. The only upside was that I’d been wearing female slacks and a ponytail and staff had accepted me. At least to my face and Lord knows what they might have said behind my back.

I eventually followed Emily’s advice and went through to my bedroom to look through my wardrobe and drawers. It wasn’t like I was short of options that was part of my problem but appearing in a dress or a skirt was a declaration of intent and neither option was a subtle change.

I opened my laptop and searched for outfits for the modern secretary or PA. No male outfits so my new role as Emilys PA had been accepted without controversy or confrontation and female staff members seemed to be supportive. Male employees seemed to ignore me altogether and preferred to walk the other way. Emily had promoted a few female employees, so they had nothing to complain about and if anything they were going out of their way to emphasise their new status and my inferiority.

I decided on a black knee length skirt with a white blouse since I’d be sitting behind my desk most of the day so to all intense and purposes, I’d still appear neutral at least, but then again I doubted Emily would let me sit still all day. The skirt that Emily had purchased for me was tight fitting just above the knee. I had another shorter skirt that wasn’t appropriate but nothing else in black. My M&S blouses would be ok for my first day but the skirt meant I needed to wear tights and heels and luckily I had several options.

As for the night out in Manchester I felt a dress or something fairly casual and sporty would be more appropriate and I’d be calling home to change anyway so Emily could help me to decide.

As for the weekend I was sure that the party would be casual dress but the problem for me was that I’d never had much coaching about choosing outfits whilst growing up and I really needed help. I was pretty sure that Sally would give me honest advice provided she was fully on board of me spending a weekend with Emily and trusted my judgement about her intentions. I was even more convinced now that Emily was genuine and was not looking to embarrass me and steal my job. That had already gone as far as I was concerned and the change in role hadn’t been all that bad. It was much less stressful being given tasks and doing Emily’s bidding than running the company providing that I was accepted by colleagues and not the subject of ridicule or abuse.

For the first time in ages, I had a full night’s sleep and needed my alarm to wake me. I hadn’t felt so relaxed in a long time that I put down to the day at the spa and particulary the body massage. Luckily, I set my alarm earlier than normal because Emily was calling in to give me a lift to work and ensure I fulfilled my promise. I must have been mad to agree, and I did wonder about calling her to tell her I was ill. She arrived half an hour early and I let her in. She had called to buy 2 coffees and breakfast baps although my stomach was churning in fear so struggled to eat mine.

Emily agreed that the skirt and blouse were ideal for the office, but she insisted that I wore a bra and packed it a little to give me more shape that I did and she was proved right once again. She approved of my choice of dark tights and heels that meant we were similar height. I doubted I’d manage to wear these all day, but she said I should take a pair of flats for wearing whilst at my desk.

As we sipped our coffee, I showed her my choice of outfits for Manchester and London and I could tell by her expression that she felt I’d made the wrong choice.

‘Look for our trip to Manchester it’s the Gay Village so won’t you be a little underdressed? I’d expect us to come across some very flamboyant outfits if it’s anything like my experience around Soho in London.’

‘Well, I thought the idea was to show my feminine side rather than parading around as a drag artist.’

‘True but I think that something a bit more colourful and daring is better. A short skirt to show your legs and maybe stiletto heels to make them seem longer and to show you have nice calves and slim ankles.’

‘But stiletto heels are difficult for walking around for long periods and they add to my height that I’m trying to disguise.’

‘It is the gay village. Won’t other visitors come in all shapes and sizes?’

I knew that she was right, and my excuse was lame.

‘If you are going to meet and chat with Jacqui then I expect you’ll get plenty of chance to sit down. Hopefully in a corner somewhere for privacy.’

‘Better not call her that. She is now Jack, and she looks more masculine than me. Especially now after this last week or so.’

She laughed ‘That’s not difficult since you have very soft feminine features. I noticed immediately and others did too.’

‘Do you mean your uncle?’

‘No chance. He is oblivious to modern trends and I doubt he’d ever have recognised you as Julian even though you’d obviously met a few times. He doesn’t do it deliberately.’

‘I have met him 4 times, along with George, but he did look right through me each time.’

‘That’s him. Anyway, come on let’s get moving and you can think about my suggestion through the day. You’ll get plenty of chance whilst I’m locked in my office or in telephone conference call meetings. My first is 9am so we need to get going soon. I have a load of e-mails to get through before then.’

My first day in a skirt. This was going to be awkward and with Emily locked away in meetings most of the day I expected to get several curious visitors once word go around. I must be mad, but Emily was not going to let me back off.

I made a jug of coffee as soon as we arrived at the office before anybody was around. I had to hurry but it wasn’t as quiet as I anticipated. I never saw the office come alive so early that surprised me. It never did when I was in charge. Staff certainly seemed to be more motivated since Emily took charge or maybe she scared them because of the changes she’d made. Whilst I got a few smiles from a few female staff I passed the men that were in early kept their heads down. Maybe they feared they’d be replaced by female staff if they put their head above their computer monitors and were frightened of being demoted like I was.

Sally hadn’t arrived when I called her phone at her usual start time and her boss Melanie picked up. ‘Sorry Julie she’s not in yet and I expect she might be experiencing difficulties with morning sickness. I assume you know she’s pregnant, so she’ll be leaving us soon. Whilst you are on the phone, I have an offer for you. Are you interested in taking her job whilst she is on maternity leave once Emily finds a new PA?’

I was speechless for a few moments. What did she know? Maybe that confirmed what Sally had told me that Emily was setting me up. Had she told Sally in confidence? How could Melanie be the right choice for the job if she couldn’t be trusted to keep sensitive information to herself? None of this seemed to add up. So, I decided to confront Sally as soon as I had the chance. Over the phone Melanie seemed to be positively gloating about our reversed situations and now her in a position to decide my future. I sensed a wide smirk on her face. To think I’d given her the first opportunity for a senior position

Whilst I was happy for Sally now that she was pregnant after months of failed attempts, I was sad that she’d be leaving as she was the only true friend in the company. I was really going to miss her. If I survived of course. I’d have to carry on developing my relationship with Emily and hope that my instincts were right. At least my confidence was coming back as I settled into my new role working for Emily. I’d always relied on my gut feeling, and this was the biggest test yet.

I kept an eye on Emily’s outside line and she’d been on a long meeting call and then a few shorter calls. I’d managed to refresh her morning coffee but the best I got was a smile and a wave of acknowledgement. About 10-30 am I got a call from Sally who had only just arrived to the office. She told me that she’d been feeling ill and I told her I’d intended to call around to see her after work to check on her and to check if she needed anything. She thanked me and said she appreciated my concern.

I told her that word was obviously getting around about my appearance and me wearing a skirt. Nothing much was said to my face but Sally was intrigued. She couldn’t resist and she put down the phone and came to see me to see for herself. She was very complementary. I told her that I’d had a great weekend with Emily and that I trusted her and admitted that she’d insisted that I wear make-up and a skirt for work because I had looked so feminine and seemed like a new person. I knew there was a risk that a number of staff came around just to look for themselves and some would try to coax me to stand and walk in front of them, but I didn’t fall for it. Sally wanted me to stand to see for herself and because I trusted her, I stood up and turned around so she could get a full view front and back.

‘You certainly pass as Julia and I like the new voice. Did you realise how that has changed and how you have adopted a few female mannerisms? Is this look for keeps?’

I couldn’t speak so I reached forward to hug her. I asked if she was OK and with tears in my eyes, I told her how pleased she was that she was pregnant at last and how I was going to miss her. She looked me up and down with a smile thanking me and she said she was OK and that she had seen the image of the baby in her first scan but decided to keep the information quiet until everything had progressed more. It felt so nice but at the same time a little awkward to be scrutinised in front of the woman who had been my loyal secretary and yet had never known about my passions of dressing and going out with transvestite friends. I told her how difficult it was to face employees who had all worked as sub-ordinates and that I hardly dare leave my seat and had used Emily’s private toilet/bathroom to avoid contact or embarrassment.

As for the staff who had called to see for themselves, I took care to remain seated as they stretched their necks looking for confirmation of rumours, but I had ensured that none got the chance.

Sally sat in a chair alongside my desk and said that she was worried about me because I’d seemingly lost all my confidence since losing my position and the change in role had had a massive effect on me. I admitted she was right but that at least I had my job and a regular salary so I was fine and that I was confident that things would work out.

I wasn’t needed by Emily who was clearly very busy so it gave us chance to talk a little more, so I told Sally what Melanie had said to me about me losing the job with Emily and her suggesting I take the role of her secretary as maternity cover. I asked if Melanie had said anything to her. She admitted that she had, and it was her who had made the suggestion that Melanie had readily accepted.

‘So, is this information on which you concluded that Emily was setting me up? Or is there more?’

‘Yes, that is all that I know and I don’t know anything more than that. I didn’t want to see you out of a job, so I tried to help’

‘I really appreciate that. But Emily does seem to be more than a boss.’

‘I assumed that Emily had probably confided in Melanie and that she had decided that she wanted to take your job permanently. I think that you were a great boss and lots of the employees think that too. But if you start coming to work as Julie instead of Julian, or even let people see that you cross-dress then I fear that lots will change their opinion. Some are very old fashioned. It won’t sit well with them.’

‘Sally, I promise to take care. Please don’t worry about me because you have to think about yourself now and the bundle of joy inside you. I am so pleased for you. I’m used to challenges but your support is really appreciated.’

With that Sally stood up to leave and I hugged her again. Just then Emily’s door opened and she appeared. ‘Ah Sally it’s nice to see you and Melanie tells me that congratulations are in order.’

With that Sally burst into tears and put her head on my shoulder that caused Emily to step back and she frowned and look embarrassed for causing upset. Then she apologised and Sally eventually said it was OK it was just the emotional change that had taken place and that her hormones were all over the place. Emily invited us into her office and shut the door behind her. She sat her down and asked me to make a fresh coffee or some tea. I left them and before I realised it I was walking through the office in my skirt and heels in full view of everybody. I nervously made drinks and carried them on a tray. Going back it felt like I was walking on a tightrope as I wobbled in my heels. The skirt restricted my stride so I walked with small steps with the cups and saucers rattling on the tray as if to attract everyone’s attention.

Sally had calmed down by the time I got back and I poured the drinks. They were chatting quietly and turned their attention to me. Emily spoke.

‘Sally was telling me what a good boss you were and how you’d become friends. That’s so important between boss and secretary and I have already seen why she thinks so much about you.’

I was glad to see Sally smile and see the side of Emily that I’d seen in case it changed her opinion. Then Emily asked what she thought about my new look and if it worried her at all.