Changing Roles
By Julie Dawn Cole
Chapter 10

‘Well Julia close but not close enough. She certainly would have liked to have been a model. She is pretty enough and she’s tall enough but she was much too shy and she had a disadvantage to overcome unlike most models.’

‘Is she related to you? Do you have a sister or a cousin?’

‘I had a brother growing up but he left home when I was around 8 yrs old. I really wish I’d had a sister to confide in and to spend my time with. Sometimes my brother looked after me and we played lots of games together. I loved him more than he realised and I missed him terribly. Some nights I cried myself to sleep.’

‘Oh, I’m so sorry did he have an accident or something?’

‘He just disappeared, and nobody would talk about him. My mum told me that he’d had a big argument with my father that started when his grades at school dropped. It affected his prospects of going to a top university, so dad enrolled him in a private school. He hated the idea of attending a boys only school that was a boarding school, so a few nights after he was dropped off he packed a bag and ran away.’

‘But who is the girl? Is it a relation or was it someone your brother was involved with?’

‘You could say that. He was deeply involved with her, and she took over his life completely.’

‘Did he make her pregnant or something? Did they fall in love?’

‘This is my brother George in his new life as Georgia. He disappeared completely and never got in touch with us. It was strange because my father wouldn’t let us try to find him. Eventually with my uncles help we managed to get in touch. About 2 years ago he agreed to meet mum and I and we went to London and met her.’

‘So, he was living as a woman?’

‘Yes, and she seemed happy. He looks totally feminine although he hasn’t had any surgery or any hormone treatment. He has a partner, but we still haven’t been introduced. I don’t know if they are male or female, but I really don’t care as long as he is happy. I’ve missed him so much in my life. Or should I say her.’

‘How did she manage to look after herself for all these years from such a young age? It must have been very difficult for her on her own in London. Did she live on the streets?’

‘No, he wasn’t penniless when he left. He had an inheritance from our grandfather that was in his bank account and mum wouldn’t let dad interfere and try to stop his access. The bank told her he was regularly drawing funds, so it was a relief. She wanted him to be safe wherever he was and hoped he’d eventually get in touch and come home. I think dad eventually regretted being so strict although his behaviour led to big arguments, and they eventually split up. It was awful watching them fight and I felt so sad.’

I found myself feeling so sorry for Emily. For the first time I sensed some vulnerability, so I was relieved when the desert trolley arrived, and the conversation stalled. We made our selections and I then I tried to lighten the chat. ‘It must have been tough for all of you. Now I feel so honoured that you have confided in me and that you are prepared to give me a job rather than making me redundant. This photo is amazing. Beauty runs in your family I think.’

’Honestly if you were to meet her you would never suspect she was born a boy and you flatter me. She is much more beautiful than me.’ There was a softness in her face that I’d seen for the first time. Since she arrived. She looked her age and so feminine rather than the persona she adopted at work.

‘So do you keep in touch with Georgia and what about your poor mum?’

‘Mum has been in regular contact in the last three years and so have I. We had a few weekends in London together including with mums’ brother and his wife before I joined the company. He is our chairman of course. We were all determined to help although she resisted for a long time. If not, then I don’t know what would have happened. When I first met her, she told me that she had been suicidal until she found a job and kept herself busy. I would hate that to happen to you. I’m hoping she is now in a serious relationship but it’s for her to tell us rather than for us to pry.’

‘Wow that’s quite a story. I hope that doesn’t mean you think I suffer from gender dysphoria like your sister. I’m fine, honestly.’

‘Well, given what happened in my family I decided to play it safe when I was asked to step in by my uncle. He had intended that George join the company after attending university since they had no children of their own. I doubt I’d have got chance as the niece, so it made me more determined than ever to prove myself and he did change his attitude as a result.’

‘Well, you must have made him very proud and your mum too of course.’

‘I’m glad that I did find a way to retain you. Your experience is important. You are a lot older than Georgia was when she decided she was more female than male. It is so sad that she decided she had to leave home. I wish I’d been older and there wasn’t such an age gap between us. My father should have been more understanding. I miss him too for all his faults. I’m sure he now realises he was wrong to try to force her to stay as a boy, but he’s never met Georgia. I guess his rejection of George inspired me to work hard and prove to him I could be as good as any man. So, I lost a father and a brother, but I still have a loving mum and now I have a beautiful sister.’

‘It makes me feel like a fraud dressed like this. I had no idea about your background. I didn’t even know that my cross dressing was such common knowledge.’

‘I’ve told you this so that you know that you can always talk about it with me if you feel depressed or threatened. If you want to express yourself openly rather than hiding your feelings and desires, I will ensure that we introduce some company rules, so employees realise we are forward thinking. In your case I’ve given you the chance to change your role and responsibility that I feel will be to everybody’s benefit.’

‘But Emily it can’t be as simple as that. Employees know me as a man and as the Managing Director. As your PA I’m surely going to lose their respect and male employees will probably make fun or treat me cruelly.’

‘I’m not going to say this will be easy, but we will change attitudes and the company will benefit I assure you. I wish my sister had the same opportunity and didn’t feel she had to run away.’

‘So I she didn’t have a problem switching her name to Georgia since her birth name was George?’.

‘No she waited a while before she went through the official name change process. I guess you could also do an easy switch sometime to Julie Ann if you were so inclined. You should seriously consider it.’

‘So, are you saying that I should live and work as a female rather than a cross dresser?’

‘If it is how you feel then why not? We can start by letting you adjust slowly and wear more feminine clothes and make-up. I’m not saying dresses and skirts but at some point, that is an option if you so desire.’

‘But what about your rules on uniforms?’

‘You are my PA and so of course there is flexibility so you will be expected to set an example to our female staff. Of course, I’ll be helping with advice as necessary. We can’t have them not buying into the changes I’m making. We have to all stick together.’

‘I’m not sure that I can change given the prejudices or that I’ll feel comfortable but if you think this is OK, I’m willing to try. I don’t know what George Garside and the senior staff would have made of it if I’d done this with him in charge.’

‘Well Garside had his opportunities as CEO so let’s not worry about him. Let him seek new opportunities or relax and spend the compensation package.’

Emily reached across and took my hand. ‘Is it a deal?’

‘Yes of course it is.’ The touch turned into a handshake.

‘Great now shall we have a coffee or some tea perhaps and sit in the lounge?’

Our waiter escorted us to two comfortable seats on a quiet corner where we had a good view of the rest of the lounge, and we ordered coffees and relaxed. Emily had surprised me and I never expected an evening where she told me some of her personal background. She must really have trust in me yet we hardly knew each other.

‘Now then Julie since Jules is no longer here how about you tell me if you have a dream or even a bucket list. Something that you’d like to share in confidence that you’ve always held back and perhaps would tell your best friend or your sister.’

‘I don’t have a sister or a brother or any cousins for that matter. I’m the last in the line for the family and I’ve had to cover all the care home costs as well as maintaining their properties and paying household bills because their assets are greater than the limits set by the Government. My aunt and uncle rented a property all their lives and my uncle passed away a few years ago. Mum asked me to deal with the fees for my aunt as well and she’ll pay me back, but I think she is optimistic. She assumes I will inherit everything one day.’
‘I guess that is quite a burden and I’m sorry you had to change your itinerary to see them for me. What about a best friend?’

‘I don’t have a real best friend just a few girls who I go out with a few times a month. I’m not one for dreaming since I never seem to have time. Certainly, before you arrived my life was really hectic, I never got chance to sit still. You don’t know how much changing roles has helped me. I was crashing out every night so tired and there were so many things to do. I have my own domestic chores on top of everything else.’

‘Well hopefully you’ll have time to sit and dream so let me suggest something. Think what life would be like if this job was permanent and you had financial assistance as a contribution to care home costs. I’m sure we can sort that out together if you don’t mind me helping.’

‘That’s so nice of you but I hardly know you and you have enough on your plate.’

‘Well, I am your boss and I have a certain responsibility for you. I don’t have any friends around here to distract me so outside work we can be friends if you like. Just like girlfriends not anything more than that so why not think about it?’

‘Emily it would help a lot so I will say yes please.’

‘Good. Did you ever dream of going for a spa day or going shopping with a girl friend? How about this weekend since I’m all alone in a strange city?’

‘That isn’t something I’ve ever done before, so I have no idea where to go.’

‘I’m sure you’ll have time to do some research tomorrow. Perhaps Sally can help. No need to involve Melanie or Jenny. I don’t want them to feel I’m leaving them out. It’s just casual, nothing formal and no business.’

‘But what sort of spa day are you thinking about?’

‘Some pampering and a foot massage and a pedicure would be nice. Wearing heels all week for a woman can be painful on the toes and the balls of the feet. I suppose you will have some experience yourself?’

I stuttered a response and coloured up a bright scarlet. ‘A little I suppose.’

After our coffees Emily settled the bill and gave a generous tip thanking the waiter for a nice dinner. On the way-out Henri stopped us to check we’d had a good night and chatted with Emily for a while asking about our business and I was introduced as Julie Ann, her PA who she’d asked to set up a business account with them.

I was taken aback as Henri took my hand and shook it firmly. He gave me his business card and asked me to call him anytime that was convenient. I was conscious that my make-up removed any trace of maleness and I knew I’d have to carry on the illusion. Emily smiled as we walked to the car and said she was impressed with the way I took her teasing in my stride.

I thanked her for dinner and a nice evening and she dropped me off at my apartment and wished me goodnight squeezing my hand gently as I opened the car door to get out. For the first time in my adult life I felt really happy and relaxed. This woman had appeared out of the blue and within a few days she had unearthed Julie and I was on a high. I wondered if I’d be able to sleep. I watched her pull away from the apartment doorway and waved. What an amazing young woman. She wasn’t a feminist at all and she was making sensible business decisions so far and taking action.