Soixante-Trois Airlines: Sophie, part 14

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“Okay,” Sophie sighed into her phone as she laid in bed. “Thanks for letting me know. Stay safe.”

“Will do,” the receptionist said as she ended the call, leaving Sophie to groan with frustration as she stared at the ceiling. It had been over two weeks since she’d last had a shift from the airline, and while she was certain she wasn’t being persecuted (unlike when her first book had been published), it came as little to comfort to her- much like the knowledge that while she wasn’t going anywhere, nobody else was either.

‘Stay at home’, the Prime Minister had said, not just to Sophie, but to the entire nation. And while the early stages of the covid pandemic had already caused passenger numbers to decline, the start of the national lockdown had seen them plummet, along with the number of flights operated by the airline. And where there was little demand for flights, there was little need for flight attendants, leaving Sophie stuck staring at the same four walls day in and day out for the previous fourteen days- and at the same faces as well.

With Francine having returned to Paris at her father’s insistence at the start of the pandemic, it left just Sophie, Hayley and Amy in the flat- and ever since their ‘encounter’ at Christmas, tensions between Sophie and Amy had only grown.

Outwardly- more for Hayley’s sake than anything else- Amy and Sophie had carried on as normal, pretending that nothing had happened between the two of them. They went to work as normal, attended the same parties as normal and even attended the Sunday morning dance lessons as though nothing had happened. However, both girls were keenly aware that something HAD indeed happened, something significant. And as much as they tried to pretend, to convince themselves that it was a one-off and meant nothing, they knew deep down that it meant more to both of them than just a night of drunken foolishness. However, rather than confront their feelings, they instead chose to avoid each other, and while that tactic had initially worked, it had proven to be increasingly difficult when neither girl was able to leave the flat…

“Morning!” Hayley said to Sophie as she emerged from her bedroom clad in her dressing gown. “Sleep well?”

“Meh,” Sophie replied with a shrug. “Just had a call from the airline, no prizes for guessing what they said.”

“Yeah, they called me ten minutes ago,” Hayley sighed. “And, like, I don’t mind the occasional day off, but I DO mind losing out on pay, not to mention the fact that I can’t actually do anything on my day off, heh.”

“Yeah,” Sophie said while fidgeting awkwardly, an action that made her flatmate sigh.

“Got another Zoom meeting with your publisher today?” Hayley asked sympathetically.

“Potential publisher,” Sophie replied. “But, well- yep. Didn’t, you know, want to rub it in anyone’s face… Obviously I’ll take the call in my bedroom.”

“You don’t need to on my behalf,” Hayley said softly. “It’s interesting, actually, seeing what goes into getting a book published.”

“Oh?” Sophie asked teasingly. “Thinking of writing one yourself?”

“Well,” Hayley mumbled bashfully. “Reckon anyone would be interested in the autobiography of a transgender woman from Nottingham whose dad is also a transgender woman?”

“I’d read it,” Sophie replied with a warm smile that made her friend giggle. “Hell, I’d help you write it too!”

“Not like I’ve got anything better to do with my time right now,” Hayley chuckled, smiling as her bedroom door opened and her roommate emerged, wrapped in her favourite fluffy pink dressing gown. What Hayley didn’t notice, though, was the immediate awkwardness between her two flatmates.

“Morning,” Amy mumbled as she grabbed her coffee and sat down opposite Sophie at the kitchen table.

“Morning,” Sophie said quietly. “Ha- have you had the call yet?”

“Yep,” Amy replied, before sighing. “No work today, yay. Not that I love the work, you understand, but-“

“You love being paid?” Hayley asked, smiling sympathetically as her roommate nodded.

“I love being able to pay child support as well, as odd as that might sound,” Amy said with a tired chuckle. “I almost wish the airline did properly furlough us rather than keep us hanging like this, heh.”

“I know what you mean,” Hayley sighed. “Still, at least they’re still giving us SOME wages, even if it is only a retainer. Not that we can spend it anywhere, heh.”

“My Amazon account’s been hit pretty hard over the last few days,” Sophie confessed. “Okay, so their clothes aren’t exactly high fashion, but it doesn’t matter much when you can’t wear them anywhere, right?”

“Not even those ankle boots with the chunky 5-inch heels you bought the other day?” Hayley teased, giggling as Sophie blushed. “Oh come on, don’t be so shy, you know you look hot in them. And girly, and sexy, and smart, and-“

“Yes, you can borrow them,” Sophie interrupted. “Aren’t you lucky we have the same shoe size?”

“Says the woman who wore my Guccis to Nikki Phillips-Thomas’s birthday party last month,” Hayley retorted, sharing a giggle with her flatmate as Amy sighed again. “Oh come on, Amy. It’s not our fault you’re a size 5 when we’re 8s. If anything, it makes life even easier for you what way, like, finding shoes in size 8 can be a real pain at times.”

“Like those ridiculous looking ones you bought in January, you know, the ‘heels with no heel’?” Sophie reminded Amy, who forced a smile on her face even though both girls knew their teasing was partially to 'keep up appearances' for their flatmate.

“Didn’t stop you from looking for a pair for yourself, did it?” Amy reminded Hayley, who giggled before sighing sadly.

“Well, looks like none of us will be wearing any heels any time soon,” Hayley sighed. “Though I will be wearing trainers later on today if anyone wants to join me for a run?”

“I’m good, thanks,” Amy replied.

“Soph?” Hayley enquired.

“I, umm, I’ll pass, thanks,” Sophie mumbled. “Got to, you know, wait for my Zoom call.”

“Oh, the publisher?” Amy asked.

“Potential publisher,” Sophie mumbled. “But they are really interested in the book so, well- yeah. Reckon it might be out by summer, even. Which means I will be too. Like- from the airline, heh.” And from whatever it is we have going on, Sophie thought to herself as her gaze briefly met Amy’s.

“If the virus continues the way it’s going, I wouldn’t be surprised if we all were,” Amy said as she deliberately avoided Sophie’s gaze. “Masson’s got to be losing bucketloads of money each day, so it can’t be profitable to keep the London hub open, right? I mean, who knows how long we’ll all be in lockdown?”

“Yeah, but Heathrow’s still the busiest airport in Europe,” Hayley reminded her friend. “Though admittedly, that isn’t saying a lot right now…”

“Ugh, anyway, enough- enough pessimism,” Amy scoffed as she finished her breakfast and flopped onto the sofa. “What’s on TV today?”

“We can finish off the Mandalorian if you want?” Hayley replied.

“This is the way,” Amy replied, smirking as she switched on the TV while her friends sat down on the sofa with her- though Amy couldn’t help but notice that she and Sophie were sat at opposite ends.

After breakfast, while Hayley was out on her run, Sophie returned to her bedroom where she gazed into her drawers and her wardrobe, but couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to change out of her pyjamas and into any ‘normal’ clothes. As so often happened, though, Sophie let out a smirk about how the many skirts, girly tops and trousers in her drawers had become ‘normal’ to her, while what little remained of ‘James’s’ clothes was relegated to the bottom drawer of her wardrobe. However, even though she only presented as ‘James’ no more than a handful of times each month, it was an aspect of her identity that she couldn’t bear to part from.

Having seemingly unlimited free time had caused Sophie to be even more introspective than usual. As she reviewed every aspect of her life, though- from her career (or rather, careers) to her friends and family, to her very identity- she found that the more she thought about it, the more satisfied she was with her life. When she first became ‘Sophie’, she found herself feeling not just uncomfortable in the clothes, but in having to present as a woman. And she was never more uncomfortable than when having to present as female around other transgender women. However, as time went by, Sophie found herself thinking more and more as not just ‘a girl’ but ‘one of the girls’. And what helped Sophie feel like this more than anything else was the love and acceptance that had been shown to her by her friends- and more significantly, the fact that the love and acceptance wasn’t conditional on her remaining as ‘Sophie’. They had all made it clear that they would accept ‘James’ as their friend just as easily as they had accepted ‘Sophie’. All, that is, except Amy.

Ever since her ‘encounter’ with Amy, Sophie had found herself contemplating her love life more and more. ‘James’ had had the occasional girlfriend but nothing serious, and as she lived more of her life as ‘Sophie’, she realised that her ‘situation’ didn’t mean that a girlfriend was out of the question for her- the example of her friends Natalie and Zoe had been all the proof she'd needed of that. However, despite their friends’ teasing, Sophie had genuinely never expected Amy to be the first girl she 'got' with. As the months passed, though, Sophie realised that in many ways, Amy was the perfect girl- accepting and understanding of Sophie’s situation, had a great sense of humour, was very good looking- cute, even- and was extremely fun company to be with. Or at least, she used to be. As much as she wished she could, Sophie knew that she couldn’t just turn back time and ‘unsleep’ with Amy- however, she was also wary of falling any deeper in love with her…

With a tired sigh, Sophie retrieved her phone from her nightstand and dialled the number of a person she knew would help to take her mind off her stress.

“Hello?” The voice of Sophie’s mother answered after three rings. The only person in the whole of London who still uses a landline, Sophie thought to herself as she took a deep breath.

“Hi mum,” Sophie said nonchalantly.

“James!” Pamela said in a suddenly excited tone. “Sorry- or should that be ‘Sophie’?”

“Either’s fine, really,” Sophie replied. “That still applies going forward as well, if it makes it any easier.”

“Yes, I remember what you said,” Pamela said with a light chuckle. “How are you, anyway? We only spoke last on Friday, is everything okay?”

“Well, everything’s okay for ME,” Sophie replied. “In a general sense, well, I’m sure you watch the news.”

“It’s hard to avoid the news lately,” Pamela said softly. “Are you keeping safe? I assume you’re not getting as many shifts with the airline?”

“I’m not getting ANY,” Sophie clarified. “Most of my colleagues maybe get a couple per week if they’re lucky, and while I’m on much better terms with the new manager of the Heathrow hub than the old one, it’s not like she’s going to bend the rules to get me more work. And- well, it- it’s not like I’ve asked her to, either.”

“Oh,” Pamela said. “Have- have you been working on your new book in your free time, then?”

“If by ‘working’ you mean ‘writing’, then no, it’s pretty much done,” Sophie replied. “But yes, I’ve been editing it and tweaking it every opportunity I get, and speaking to publishers as well.”

“Good,” Pamela said. “I’m looking forward to reading it! I bet you’re also looking forward to being free from the airline too, right?”

“Well- yes and no,” Sophie sighed. “I’m not going to miss the work, these last two weeks have proved that, but I will miss the job, if that makes any sense?”

“I think I understand what you mean,” Pamela said. “I imagine you’ll miss being able to travel, as well?”

“Give it a few weeks and I think we’ll ALL miss that,” Sophie sighed.

“Well, make sure at least that you get some fresh air while you’re stuck inside,” Pamela advised. “We don’t want you getting cabin fever!” Might be a bit too late for that, Sophie thought to herself as she thought about the ginger-haired girl in her living room.

“I’ll try,” Sophie sighed. “How’s dad?”

“He’s doing fine,” Pamela replied. “He’s only just got his home workstation set up today so he’s sorting a few things out, then he’ll be back- well, ‘back’ to work. Luckily, he doesn’t need to be on an aeroplane in order to do his job, heh!”

“Yeah,” Sophie said as she relaxed back onto her bed, listening intently to her mother's tales of life stuck at home and trying to forget her own stresses.

As Sophie was talking to her mother, Amy was laid on the sofa facing the same problem with her own erratic thoughts. However, while her mind kept drifting back toward her relationship with Sophie, it wasn’t the only thing distracting her. In February, Amy had celebrated the third anniversary of her beginning hormone replacement therapy. In the weeks leading up to the anniversary, Amy’s counsellor had discussed with her options for SRS, and both women had set their sights on the operation being done at the start of September, so that Amy would be back on her feet by Christmas.

The pandemic, however, had caused all of those plans to be discarded. The overwhelming demand put on hospitals by covid had resulted in operations deemed ‘low priority’ being postponed if not outright cancelled, and even though it was something Amy thought about daily, her SRS had been one of the first procedures to be set aside. The frustration and stress she felt over the uncertainty regarding her operation, though, was second to another vital aspect of her life that had been affected by the pandemic.

The order to stay at home had meant that Amy would no longer be able to regularly travel to Kent to see her family- more specifically, her daughter. Jade's mother had insisted that Amy stay away while travel restrictions were in place, but Amy’s instinct told her that she would use every excuse she could to keep her away from their daughter long after the threat posed by covid had passed. And while Amy was determined to let nothing come between her and her daughter, she was faced by the grim possibility that she may be powerless to stop Kerry- and that Jade may never accept her as her father rather than her aunt.

And worst of all, Amy found herself clueless as to how she felt about Sophie. Did she want a relationship with her? If so, what did she want, a romantic relationship, or just 'friends with benefits'? Did she even want the 'benefits', or to just remain friends with Sophie? Did she even want to remain friends with Sophie? All of these questions plagued Amy's mind as the flat's front door opened and its third occupant walked through, kicking off her trainers en route to the kitchen.

“Hi honey, I’m home!” Hayley said, earning a tired grunt from Amy in return.

“Good run?” The ginger girl asked, not looking up as Hayley kicked off her trainers and headed into the flat’s small kitchen area.

“Meh, it was okay, thanks,” Hayley replied with a shrug. “Hardly bumped into anybody, though. It’s eerie, you know? London, probably the busiest city in the world, and the streets are practically empty.”

“Yeah, well, hopefully not for long,” Amy said, before grimacing. “Umm, Hayley, you- you’ve kinda, umm…”

“…What?” Hayley asked as she stood in front of her friend, before looking down and blushing with embarrassment. “…Shit.”

“Yeah,” Amy grimaced as Hayley reached into her leggings to re-tuck herself. “I’m guessing the gaffs aren’t comfortable to exercise in?”

“They’re not comfortable to do much of ANYTHING in,” Hayley retorted. “Ugh, I’ve exercised with this tuck a hundred times without a problem… I’ll be glad when I don’t have to, you know, ‘tuck’ anything.”

“Yeah, I would’ve been too,” Amy sighed as she rolled over on the sofa, tears slowly trickling from her eyes.

“Ugh, Amy…” Hayley said, tears forming in her own eyes. “I- I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I should have-“

“No- no, I’m sorry,” Amy interrupted with a sigh. “I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself, heh. I mean, I guess Annabelle’s had it worse, she was due to go in in November, it got postponed for 6 months, and then we all know what happened next. God knows how many other ‘girls like us’ had their operations ruined by this fucking virus, heh.”

“Too many,” Hayley mumbled. “I mean, I’M two years now, so technically, I can- well, not ‘get the ball rolling’, but you know what I mean, right?”

“Think you’ve had enough of ‘rolling balls’ today,” Amy teased, smiling as Hayley threw a cushion at her face. “Seriously, you’d have thought that someone would’ve made, like, ‘athletic supports’ for trans girls before now.”

“Yeah, but they’re usually called ‘jockstraps’ or ‘dance belts’,” Hayley sighed. “Ever seen a male ballet dancer wearing a dance belt? They look like they’ve stuffed a grapefruit down their tights.”

“…Spend much time looking at male ballet dancers, do you?” Amy teased.

“Uh- hell yeah!” Hayley giggled. “Some of them are HOT, not to mention fit, hehe! I wouldn’t mind squeezing myself into a leotard and getting chucked around by one of them!”

“Yeah, well, given that you ‘struggled’ with leggings, I have bad news for you regarding leotards,” Amy teased smiling as another cushion flew her way.

“Hilarious woman,” Hayley snorted. “And you know I never ‘struggle’ with leotards, not during the Sunday morning classes anyway. Though by the time they come back, we’ll probably all have had SRS, heh.”

“Not sure whether that’s optimistic or pessimistic, heh,” Amy chuckled. “Though if you’re really missing it, I can go and grab a leotard and a pair of pink tights and we can have a lesson now?”

“Umm, I’ve just come back from a run?” Hayley retorted. “All I want to do is sit back and relax, heh. Maybe fire up the Switch?”

“You can if you want,” Amy said with a sigh. “I think I’m going to head back to our room, have a bit of a lie down.”

“You’ve… literally just been lying on the sofa,” Hayley said. “And just offered to do a ballet dance for me.”

“Yeah, but- ugh, never mind,” Amy sighed.

“Amy, is- is everything alright?” Hayley asked softly.

“Is ANYTHING alright?” Amy shrugged, before heading back to her bedroom and collapsing on her bed with a long, pained moan…

The three women remained in their respective rooms for the rest of the morning, before eventually converging in the living room for lunch- though neither Amy nor Sophie felt much like talking, which didn't go unnoticed by their flatmate.

“Here we are, then,” Hayley said as she served up the women’s lunches. “Noodle a la Pot pour trois.”

“Bit of a change from the company cafeteria, but okay,” Sophie said as she tucked in.

“Yeah, well, when we need to watch the pennies…” Hayley shrugged.

“Well- I guess,” Sophie sighed. “Though you’re not doing badly at watching the pounds, heh! How far did you run this morning?”

“Only three miles,” Hayley replied, smirking as she blushed. “And I figure, you know, need to get out of the flat sometimes, and as we’re only meant to be allowed out for exercise, well, yeah.”

“Did you do much sport when you were at school?” Sophie asked.

“Well, the only options were football or rugby, so my answer is HELL no,” Hayley replied with a snort.

“Same here,” Amy said. “One sports day my teacher decided that as there wasn’t anyone from our house doing the high jump, I’d be the ideal candidate for it.”

“…Despite only being 5’ 4”?” Hayley asked.

“Oh, I was shorter than that back then,” Amy snorted. “Fortunately, I didn’t give a shit about sports day, so I just wandered off when it was my turn. I got a detention for it, but I didn’t give a shit about that either.”

“How did that teacher react when they found out you weren’t, you know, ‘eligible’ for boys’ sports anymore?” Sophie asked.

“I don’t think they even know,” Amy replied with a shrug. “God knows I didn’t tell them. I don’t think anyone from that school knows- well, apart from Kerry, obviously, who did probably tell a lot of people… ugh.” Sophie frowned as she saw her friend’s face fall- she knew just how sensitive a topic Amy's ex-partner was for the ginger-haired girl.

“I- I’m sorry,” Sophie mumbled.

“Nah, it’s not your fault,” Amy said, even as she struggled to maintain eye contact with her one-time lover. “So, go on then, I’ve shared some of my horror stories from school, now it’s your turn!”

“Hardly anything to tell, really,” Hayley mumbled. “My sister was one of the popular girls at school, so I had to put up with them picking on me all the time. Then my dad came out, and it just got worse- but only for me, not for her.”

“…Ah, umm, okay,” Amy mumbled. “Sorry I asked…”

“I think we’re all a bit, you know, too stressed to have this kind of conversation, heh,” Sophie chuckled. “And for the record, I wasn’t the most popular kid at school, and I’m certainly not after becoming ‘Sophie’. But I’ve made much better friends as ‘Sophie’ than I ever did as ‘James’.”

“And once again, the ‘S’ is what holds Team ASH together, hehe!” Hayley giggled as she gave Sophie a gentle hug, while Amy forced a smile on her face.

“Well, I can’t for long, I- I need to finish this, then I’ve got my zoom meeting,” Sophie said quietly.

“Just as long as my high jump story doesn’t make it into your book,” Amy cautioned, forcing her smile wider as Sophie let out a tired chuckle.

“You can trust me to be discreet,” Sophie said with a knowing smile that Amy mirrored. God knows you of all people can… Sophie thought to herself.

Later that evening, Sophie, Hayley and Amy all sat in front of the TV, eating dinner while watching the daily coronavirus briefing from Downing Street. After dinner, the three women retreated to separate parts of the flat to be by themselves, but it wasn’t long before Hayley's curiosity got the better of her regarding what Sophie had said earlier in the day.

“Oh hey, Soph,” Hayley said as she nervously approached the other brunette. “I almost forgot to ask- how did it go with your publisher- sorry, potential publisher today?” Sophie bit her lip to try to control her emotions as she considered her reply.

“Well… let’s just say they’re not a ‘potential’ publisher anymore,” Sophie replied, smirking as a confused look spread across her friend’s face. “They’re an ACTUAL publisher, hehe!”

“Oh my god, Soph!” Hayley squeaked, motioning to hug Sophie, only to pause. “…Screw it, we live together, we’re fine!” Sophie giggled as she shared a hug with her flatmate, though she couldn’t help but let out a sad sigh. “…Soph? Are- are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sophie sighed. “It’s just- heh. They say they’re going to publish in summer, like, July or August, which means that as of this summer- like, July or August- I will no longer be working for the airline. I mean, yes, I get on a lot better with Marie than Alana- hell, I think we all do, but- but their ‘threat’ was pretty clear. Publish or push drinks trolleys, but not both.”

“That doesn’t sound like much of a choice to me,” Hayley chuckled. “God knows, if I had that choice- yeah. I’d be stuffing the uniform in a locker and running, heh.”

“Yep, same here,” Sophie sighed. “If it didn’t mean also running away from you and Amy. But- yeah. All good things must come to an end, right?”

“Not Team ASH,” Hayley said confidently. “We’re gonna be around forever.” I wish I shared your confidence, Sophie thought to herself as she gazed over at Amy, who was reading and listening to music by herself in a corner of the room. “Besides,” Hayley continued, bringing Sophie’s attention back to the conversation, “I’m gonna need someone to nurse me back to health after my SRS!”

“…Why do I get the feeling this is going to end up with me wearing a costume?” Sophie sighed, earning a smirk from Hayley.

“Do you WANT to wear a sexy nurse’s dress?” Hayley asked.

“…Maybe,” Sophie teased, earning a loud squeal of laughter from her friend, who rushed over to their flatmate and shook her to get her attention.

“What?” Amy said, not even trying to disguise her irritation at being interrupted.

“Our Sophie has two pieces of good news for us,” Hayley giggled as she led Amy to where Sophie was stood, unaware of the awkwardness between the two women.

“Well- yeah, kind of,” Sophie chuckled nervously as her friends stared expectantly at her. “My- umm, that is, I- I’ve got a publisher for my book.”

“Oh, congratulations!” Amy said with a happy giggle. “Do you know when it’s coming out?”

“Summer,” Sophie replied. “Probably July or August, they- they’re kinda having problems, like, delays with their usual process ‘cause of- well, ‘cause of the obvious, heh.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Amy said, before biting her lip nervously. “So… what- what’s the other piece of good news?”

“Soph’s going to be our own personal nursemaid when we have SRS!” Hayley said, making Sophie roll her eyes while Amy forced out a giggle, before frowning.

“IF we have SRS, more like,” Amy sighed, earning a sympathetic smile from her flatmates.

“This virus isn’t going to last forever,” Hayley said softly as she wrapped an arm around the ginger-haired girl’s shoulders. “As much as it feels like it right now, heh.”

“I know that, believe me,” Amy said, before frowning. “It’s just typical that what should be life-affirming procedures for girls like us is treated as ‘low priority’. I mean, okay, we’re not going to die immediately if we don’t have SRS, but- you know? Every second that I have an ‘outie’ instead of an ‘innie’ is a second that I’m being reminded that I’m ‘wrong’.” Sophie nodded in agreement with her friend- she'd heard the same story countless times while conducting interviews for her book, and while she empathised with every trans girl she spoke to, Amy's pain felt somehow more real to Sophie.

“Believe me, I know how difficult this is,” Hayley said softly. “Hell, you saw it for yourself this morning!” Sophie frowned with confusion at Hayley’s statement, pondering under what circumstances Amy would need or even want to ‘see for herself’ where Hayley was concerned. Sophie also wondered why she was struck with a sudden pang of jealousy…

“I guess,” Amy shrugged. “Ugh, I mean, I- I am happy for you, Soph. For the- for the book deal, I mean. Even if it does mean, like, no more ‘Team ASH’ at work, heh.”

“But we will always be friends,” Sophie asked, trying her hardest to make her reply sound like a statement rather than a question.

“Of- of course!” Amy chuckled nervously. “Team ASH forever, right?”

“Too right!” Hayley giggled. “And I- I think we should celebrate, you know? Just ‘cause we can’t actually go anywhere, doesn’t mean we can’t get glammed up and have a fancy night in, right?”

“Ehh… you two can if you want,” Amy said with a sad smile. “I think I’m gonna get an early night, kinda, you know, need to be ready in case I get called in.”

“We really aren’t going to get any shifts, you know?” Hayley said sympathetically.

“…Probably not,” Amy conceded. “But it’d be just my luck if my first shift in ages is one where I’ve got a stinking hangover. That, and- ugh.”

“What- what’s up?” Hayley asked, concerned by her friend's sudden change in attitude.

“I-“ Amy replied, before sighing. “I’m hoping to talk to Jade tomorrow morning. I mean, ‘cause she’s not at school- well, wouldn’t be anyway, as it’s the Easter holidays, and as I can’t go and see her… yeah. I’m also hoping to persuade Kerry to let me tutor her in French, and- heh. The lengths I go to just to see my own daughter…"

“Oh- Amy…” Hayley sighed, leaning in for a hug that the ginger-haired girl gratefully accepted. Sophie bit her lip as she paused, before awkwardly joining in the group hug, even as she felt Amy tense up at her touch.

“Ugh, I- I’ll be fine, really,” Amy said as she wiped tears from her eyes. “Honestly, after I talk to Jade tomorrow, I- I’ll be alright. THEN we can celebrate, right?”

“Sure,” Sophie whispered as she exchanged a furtive glance with the ginger-haired girl.

“And I am happy for you, Soph. Really,” Amy said, though despite her sincere smile, both Amy and Sophie knew there was a lot that both girls still needed to say to each other.

As she had promised, Amy was the first to head to bed later that night, with Hayley and Sophie following shortly afterward. However, Sophie found herself struggling to drift off, which she initially put down to excitement about the publisher, but the more she thought about it, the more she realised she was distracted on what Hayley had said to Amy- and what exactly it was that Hayley had seen. Sophie implicitly trusted both of her friends- after all, she had known Hayley long enough to know when she was being serious or silly, and the way she had worded the comment was far more like the latter than the former. And Sophie desperately wanted to believe that her friends wouldn’t keep anything from her, but was faced with one unavoidable problem- that she and Amy were keeping their ‘dalliance’ secret from Hayley.

What troubled Sophie the most, though, was why she was so worked up about it…

Sophie was once again woken the following morning, by the sound of her phone ringing, and after the brief call ended, she relaxed back into her sheets, frustrated (but not surprised) by the prospect of yet another day cooped up inside her flat. However, as she tried to get back to sleep, Sophie found her rest being disturbed by the sound coming from the living room- though when she heard what was being said, she knew better than to complain about or even interrupt what was going on.

“Hi Jade!” Amy said with a wide grin as the image of her daughter appeared on her laptop screen.

“Hi Auntie Amy!” The little girl replied, unknowingly breaking her father’s heart all over again. “Mummy says you would have come to see us at the weekend, but the virus means you can’t come?”

“I’m afraid so, sweetie,” Amy said with a heavy sigh. “It won’t be safe for me to visit until fewer people are getting poorly. Same with school.”

“I know,” Jade said, her sad sigh breaking her father’s heart even more. “I really miss being able to play with my friends.”

“I know you do, sweetie,” Amy said. “I can’t see my friends either, but this will all be over soon and then we can get back to doing the things we like and seeing the people we love.”

“Does that include daddy?” Jade asked, her face lighting up even as Amy's heart broke even further.

“We- we’ll see,” Amy said, forcing herself to keep smiling despite the anguish she was feeling.

“I asked mummy if I could talk to him on the computer too,” Jade said, “but she said I should ask you about that.” Of course she did, Amy angrily thought to herself.

“Well, he- he doesn’t have great internet connection where he is right now,” Amy replied, biting her lip at the disappointed look on her daughter’s face. “But I know that he loves you very, very much, and he wishes he could speak to you as well.” More than you could ever know, Amy thought to herself.

“Well- okay,” Jade sighed, before immediately perking up again. “Has mummy shared with you the video of me in the school dance yet?”

“Ooh, no, but I’d love to see it!” Amy giggled.

“I can do better than a video!” Jade said with a smug grin as she stood back from the camera and began performing her dance moves, with Amy applauding and cheering every step she took.

Amy spent the next twenty minutes listening intently as her daughter told her stories of her time at school and at home under lockdown, before the child’s mother appeared on screen. Amy’s heart sank as she knew immediately that this meant that her time with Jade was coming to an end, but she maintained a brave face until her daughter was out of sight.

“…Really?” Amy scoffed. “Couldn’t give me more than half an hour?”

“She’s getting enough screen time as it is, now that she has to stay inside all the time,” Kerry retorted. “And besides, as her aunt, you should be grateful for the half hour that you got.”

“Except you and I both know I am NOT just her ‘aunt’,” Amy hissed, her anger levels sharply rising. “And I’d have thought that YOU would be more grateful for the child support I send every month.”

“While you’re still employed, anyway,” Kerry sneered. “Read my lips, ANDY- Jade will never, EVER learn the truth about you. EVER.”

“Well, that’s not your choice to make,” Amy spat. “Or mine, actually. It’s Jade’s. She’s not going to be a little girl forever, and she WILL want to know the truth. And that day will come sooner than you think.” Amy bit her lip as her ex-partner ended the call with a look of pure fury on her face, before sitting back in her chair and letting out a long, pained moan.

Sophie paused as she opened her bedroom door, sensitive to her friend's distress, no matter how regular a thing it had become for her. Not wanting to add further stress to her friend, Sophie tiptoed through the flat’s living area toward the kitchen, before frowning as her friend turned round in her chair and looked at her.

“Ugh, sorry Soph, did I wake you?” Amy asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.

“Oh- umm, no, I- I was awake anyway, the office called…” Sophie replied, biting her lip as her friend tried to compose herself. “Amy, are you- are you okay? ‘Cause you look- umm, no offence, but you- you-“

“I… what?” Amy asked, frowning as Sophie sighed.

“You only wear that dress when you’re in an ‘I need confidence NOW’ mood,” Sophie replied, gesturing to the short but clingy grey t-shirt dress that was hugging Amy’s curves. “That’s your favourite shade of lipstick too, and I’ve only ever seen those shoes once, and that’s when we went clubbing the day after your last run-in with Jade’s mother.”

“Maybe I just felt like wearing them today,” Amy mumbled.

“THOSE shoes?” Sophie gestured, making Amy’s frown deepen as she stared at the brown sandals on her feet- or rather, the blocky 6” heel and the 1.5” platform on the sandals.

“…Okay, maybe I needed a bit of confidence before talking to Kerry, so sue me,” Amy spat. “Do you want to check to see if I’m wearing my favourite bra and thong too?”

“Are you?” Sophie asked, biting her lip as Amy frowned and blushed.

“Maybe,” The ginger-haired woman mumbled. “And how do you know all this about me, anyway?”

“Well, I- I’m a journalist,” Sophie mumbled with a shrug. “I’m, like, it’s my job to notice things. And we HAVE lived together for almost three years.”

“Well- ugh, yeah, I guess,” Amy said, sighing and moaning. “I’m sorry I bit your head off, Soph, I- ugh. Speaking of ‘biting head off’, I- I really hate that things have become THIS awkward between us.”

“This- well, I mean, I, you know, don’t feel awkward right now,” Sophie mumbled. “I didn’t, anyway…”

“…Neither did I,” Amy chuckled. “Maybe we can only properly talk after my psycho ex has, like, sufficiently pissed me off or something.”

“I’d prefer it if that wasn’t the case,” Sophie said softly. “More for your sake than mine, heh.”

“Thanks,” Amy whispered.

“Especially as, like, I dunno how much longer I’ll be around,” Sophie mumbled. “Like, with the book and all that…”

“Don’t- please, just don’t,” Amy said as she sniffed back tears. “That call depressed me enough, heh. Hell, covid is depressing me enough that I- I don’t want to think about life without you in. Or- or you or Hayley, I mean.”

“Yeah…” Sophie whispered as she fidgeted awkwardly. “We- umm…”

“And, like, there’s no guarantee the hub will even stay open much longer,” Amy interrupted. “Like, ‘cause of the virus, the airline must be losing millions per day keeping it open, so- yeah.”

“…Maybe a bit pessimistic,” Sophie said, letting out a tired chuckle as Amy shrugged. “But, I guess, you know, nothing lasts forever. All good things and all that.”

“Not quite,” Amy said, shaking her head. “I’ll always be Jade’s dad forever. Even after transitioning, even after SRS- heh. She’ll forever be my little girl. Heh, even after she’s, like, a mum of her own.”

“Introducing her children to ‘Grandpa Amy’?” Sophie asked, giggling as her friend scowled.

“If these shoes didn’t weigh half a ton each I’d go over there and kick you,” Amy said, before giggling. “I am right, though. Love lasts forever. At least, real love does.”

“What- what about friendship?” Sophie asked nervously.

“…If there’s enough love in the friendship,” Amy mumbled in reply as Sophie bit her lip, trying to prevent herself from hyperventilating as she pondered her next question.

“So, umm, do- do you… do you love me?” Sophie asked, her body trembling with nerves. “Like, as- as a friend, or- or- or, you know, more?”

“I-“ Amy replied, biting her lip as she felt her whole body be gripped with anxiety. “I- umm…”

“N- no, forget I asked,” Sophie said, throwing her hands up as she felt her legs start to buckle. “I- umm, I should probably go back to my room for a bit and- well, yeah…”

“No- wait, Soph!” Amy said, practically leaping out of her chair and scurrying to where the brown-haired girl was stood. “I- I do love you, really, I do. But I- I don’t know if I, you know, ‘love you’ love you.”

“…Same here,” Sophie sighed. “And it- it’s frustrating, you know? You’re, like, an ideal girlfriend for any- heh. For any guy or girl. Even if ‘guy or girl’ is just one person, heh.”

“Well, you know I prefer girls,” Amy sighed. “But, like, that- that’s, like, a ‘generalisation’. Like, a person’s more than just their gender, and I- I don’t have a problem seeing you as a girl, Soph, I never have.”

“Even if I sometimes did, at the start?” Sophie asked.

“…You got better,” Amy shrugged, smiling as her friend giggled. A pause fell between the two women as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Breathing heavily, Amy and Sophie leaned into each other, their lips parting as they began to taste each other’s breath…

“What- what are you guys doing?” Hayley asked as she opened the front door of the flat.

“Uh- umm, uh-“ Sophie babbled, her heart racing as her face flushed with embarrassment.

“It- well, what it is- umm…” Amy said simultaneously.

“Is- is what I think’s happening, happening?” Hayley asked, a look of shock and anger spreading across her face. “And if so, how long has it been happening for?”

“It- it’s not what it looks like,” Sophie stammered as she remembered the previous day's conversation between her flatmates and wondered if Hayley's anger was born more of jealousy than anything else. “Umm, I- I mean, we- like, you and Amy-“

“ME and Amy?” Hayley asked. “It looks more like YOU and Amy from where I’m standing.”

“Guys, please!” Amy said, taking several deep breaths as she tried to compose herself. “Nothing is going on between ANY of us, Sophie and I, we- ugh. If- if you must know, Hayley, we- we HAVE slept together.”

“What!?” Hayley exclaimed.

“But just once!” Sophie hastily interjected. “At- At Amelie and Ellen’s wedding, we were both, like, nearly blackout drunk and we- ugh. We’ve been hiding it from you ever since- from everyone, actually- and we- ugh. I- we- we’re really sorry, Hayley. We didn’t want to keep you in the dark, but it- it’s kinda a private thing, you know?”

"And we- we really don't want it to get out," Amy said, trying not to cry as she gazed into Sophie's eyes. "Please, it- it was a mistake." Sophie and Amy frowned as their friend paused to take in the information, before sighing and nodding.

“Well- okay,” Hayley said, a smile slowly returning to her face. “If- if that’s what you say is happening, then- I’m not going to distrust my friends. And, like, it’s obvious that you two- heh. And everyone’s saying it’s obvious that the two of you belong together, but, like, I’m guessing that it’s not that simple- well, obviously, heh.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Sophie sighed as her anxiety was taken over by a feeling of frustration. She had come so, so close to resolving the ‘situation’ with Amy, only for it to have been thwarted at the last minute, leaving her- and Amy- once again in limbo. As she and her flatmates headed to the sofa, she found herself mulling one question over and over in her mind- a question that Hayley didn’t hesitate to put into words.

“So, umm,” Hayley said hesitantly. “If- if I, you know, hadn’t interrupted, would- would you two, like, have- have gone through with the kiss?”

“I- heh, well, I guess we’ll never know now,” Amy replied with a shrug.

“…Me either,” Sophie sighed. “Sorry.”

“No- no, I’m sorry if I overreacted,” Hayley sighed. “I guess I was feeling just a bit, you know, left out or something. Like, what we’ve got- as in, Team ASH- it- it means more to me than you imagine, and I- I really don’t want to imagine life without the two of you in it.”

“Me either,” Amy said. “And believe me, I can well imagine how much Team ASH means to you as- heh. It has literally been my life for the last three years.”

“Same here,” Sophie said with a smile. “I was only meant to be ‘Sophie’ for six months, remember? I have you two to thank more than anyone else for keeping this life, well, open for me.” Sophie grinned as she and her two best friends shared a warm, loving group hug on the sofa.

“We will always be a part of each other’s lives,” Amy said confidently, though both she and Sophie were forced to concede that even though they no longer needed to hide their secret from their flatmate, neither of them knew precisely what part they would play in each other’s futures…

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Will they, won't they? At

Will they, won't they? At this point, it's still kinda up in the air. :-)

And life in lockdown has started for the Jamieverse, which will be explored in a bit more detail in the next chapter, which, as per the trusty upcoming chapters page on the wiki, will be a crossover showing all the various heroes' and heroines' lives indoors. But Hayley's right- covid won't last forever, and don't be fooled by the fact that there are only 5 chapters on the 'upcoming' page- there are plenty, plenty more planned for the future, I just need to get the 1st chapter of my next new story worked out first before I shuffle things arund a bit.

Debs xxxx