“Okay, seriously,” Hayley groaned as she relaxed back onto the sofa. “Just pick one already, they all look great and they all look great on you as well.”
“I know,” Sophie sighed as she picked another dress from the pile in front of her and held it against her body. “I just want to make the perfect first impression, you know? This is my first ever book- well, not ‘tour’, thank you co-bloody-vid, but- you know? Especially considering what the topic of the book is as well.”
“Yeah, you’re really not the first girl to have a crisis about what dress she should wear,” Hayley teased, giggling as her flatmate hurled the garment at her face.
“Maybe I should wear a suit?” Sophie mused as she picked up yet another dress.
“Your funeral,” Hayley shrugged. “And I thought the whole point of this book is so that you don’t have to wear suits in the middle of August, anyway? Well, uniforms that are shaped like suits, anyway.”
“The point of the book is to help girls like us,” Sophie corrected her friend. “Though you’re not wrong, I will NOT miss the uniforms in the middle of summer in the south of Spain, that’s for certain.”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Hayley sighed. “Yesterday, when I got back, I felt like I had a swimming pool in my tights.”
“Lovely,” Sophie said with a grimace.
“Actually made me miss the days of mandatory stockings,” Hayley mused.
“Nothing stopping you from wearing them anyway,” Sophie said, before a smile slowly crept across her face. “Nothing stopping me, either.”
“Hell no there isn’t!” Hayley giggled. “I’d wear a dress or a skirt over them, though, if you’re still thinking of your interview outfit.”
“You don’t say?” Sophie replied, ignoring her friend’s giggles as she mused on the fact that she'd also had recent experience of the discomfort of the uniform in the heat- though to a much lesser extent than any of her colleagues.
Since the ‘easing’ of covid protocols in London, the flight attendants of Soixante-Trois airlines had gradually found their shifts increasing in frequency, though they were still nowhere near normal- especially for August, one of the busiest months of the year. The freezing of new hires in both May and August had meant more shifts for the cabin crew who remained with the airline, including Sophie, who flew on her first shift in months at the start of July. As she flew, however, Sophie found herself growing more dissatisfied with every passing second- not just of the work, but the uniform too. It took mere minutes for her to wish that she was back in her flat, working on her book- or back in her flat with Amy.
Despite their having talked it through (and talked it through with Hayley), both Sophie and Amy continued to feel uncomfortable in each other’s presence. Their moment of drunkenness in December had irreversibly tainted their friendship, and both girls felt more and more like it was the beginning of the end- not least because for Sophie, it was the beginning of the end of her employment with the airline. Her book had been completed, she had secured a publisher and she was preparing to begin her publicity campaign- actions that she had been explicitly told would cost her her job with Soixante-Trois. And while she would still be making enough money to still live in the flat, to Sophie, it just wouldn’t be the same- not least because Amy’s future with the airline was also far from certain.
While her earnings from the airline had diminished, the amount of child support Amy paid hadn’t. Amy’s fear of losing contact with her daughter trumped all other concerns, and she volunteered for as many shifts as were available, willing to be on call at a moment's notice in case any other crew were unavailable- and with covid still running wild across the continent, extra shifts were often readily available. However, even that extra work left her with little money to herself at the end of each month, and with no other vacancies elsewhere due to covid, Amy was forced to rely on loans and handouts from her friends. While they were only too happy to help, Amy was often reluctant to accept their charity- after all, she couldn't consider herself a responsible father if other people were technically providing for her daughter. Even though she knew consciously that she wasn’t responsible for the global situation- and the resulting reduced income- it, combined with the fact that she hadn’t seen Jade in months, made her more and more anxious. And on top of all that, whenever she returned home, she came face to face with Sophie, a woman she knew she loved- but was unsure how she loved her.
And while Sophie and Amy continued to walk on eggshells around each other, Hayley was stuck in the middle, wishing that things could go back to the way they were- both before covid and before Team ASH started to splinter…
“…This one,” Sophie said, holding up a form-fitting sky-blue pencil dress with a square neckline. “I’ve got a choker in a matching colour and some earrings that will go GREAT with this.”
“Not to mention a body that’ll look HOT in it,” Hayley teased. “If my saying that won’t make Am-“ Hayley paused and bit her lip- teasing her flatmates about their ‘relationship’ had been second nature to Hayley, but following April’s revelation, even jokes that had previously been trivial had become awkward for everyone.
“The- the blue dress it is,” Sophie said, gently removing the garment from its hanger and returning to her bedroom.
As she zipped herself into the clingy garment, Sophie mentally ran through all the things she wanted to say in her interview, hoping, but as often happened, the mere hint of Amy’s name brought the ginger girl back to the forefront of Sophie’s mind. While they’d spoken openly and frequently since April, Sophie felt no closer to resolving her feelings for Amy than after their first ‘encounter’ in December. Just as Amy knew she loved Sophie, Sophie knew she loved Amy, and wanted the ginger haired girl to stay in her life- but she also knew that the decision might not be hers to make.
As Sophie prepared for her interview, Amy fidgeted in her uniform, her discomfort in the Mediterranean heat not helped by the newest addition to her uniform- a cloth face mask of the same red colour as her skirt and blazer. While Amy understood the reasons for wearing the mask, it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable- though it wasn't Amy's own reaction to the mask that frustrated her the most.
“Good afternoon, sir,” Amy said in a clear, polite voice as she approached the passenger who had called her- one of the few passengers on the relatively empty plane. “How may I help-“
“Can’t hear you,” the man abruptly interrupted. “Take off that mask.” Amy bit her lip at the man’s rudeness, though she was more concerned by the fact that the passenger wasn’t wearing his own mask- a clear violation of the airline's policy, though Amy doubted that the passenger cared. A part of her wondered whether or not the airline's senior management even cared...
“Sir, I have to ask you to pu-“ Amy said, making a conscious, but vain effort to raise the volume and clarity of her voice.
“I said I can’t hear you with that nappy on your face!” The man snorted, making the ginger-haired girl frown behind her mask. Remembering what little training she'd received for such circumstances, Amy reached into her pocket for a small, laminated card that she passed to the passenger, which bore the phrase ‘do you require a sign language interpreter?’ on the front. However, this only served to worsen the middle-aged man’s mood. “I’m not deaf!” Could’ve fooled me, Amy thought to herself. “I just don’t listen to people who wear nappies on their chins!” I’m not falling for your bait, Amy thought to herself as she struggled to keep her anger in check.
“Sir, it is airline policy tha-“ Amy said calmly but firmly, before grinding her teeth as she was interrupted yet again.
“WHAT PART OF I CAN’T HEAR YOU DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?” The man yelled, and instinctively, Amy pushed the blue button on her hip, and within seconds her supervisor was at her side- and much to Amy’s relief, was wearing a clear visor rather than a cloth mask.
“What seems to be the problem?” Abbey asked, taking extra effort to soften her usually strong Essex accent.
“I can’t hear you with that thing in front of your face!” The passenger snapped, and it took all of Abbey’s patience not to roll her eyes.
“Sir, these visors do not block sound, only transmission of-“ Abbey said, before snarling as she was interrupted.
“I can’t hear you!” The man snorted. “I can’t hear you! La la la la-“
“If you do not put on your mask, we will not permit you to board the plane back to London,” Abbey said, allowing herself a small smirk as the man stopped making a spectacle of himself.
“You can’t do that, I’m a paying customer!” The passenger growled. “It’s not like I’m asking if either of you have a dick or anything!”
“No, you’re just being one,” another passenger, a younger man with a Belfast accent, quipped.
“It’s my right to not wear a mask if I don’t want to!” The angry passenger said smugly.
“And it’s our right to refuse service to those not willing to follow clearly stated airline rules,” Abbey said firmly.
“There’s no such thing as covid,” the angry passenger said. “Coronavirus is just a cold, everyone’s being pathetic because they don’t want to catch a cold!”
“We’re not the ones throwing a tantrum about it though,” the Irish passenger said, making the angry passenger’s face turn red as the other passengers applauded appreciatively.
“…Fine,” the angry man growled as he pulled on the face mask he’d worn to board the plane. “But I’ll be complaining to your managers about all of you!” Go ahead, Amy thought to herself. God knows I probably won’t be working here much longer…
As they retreated to the safety of the galley and out of earshot of the passengers, Amy and Abbey both let out long, tired groans.
“First anti-masker?” Abbey asked, smiling sympathetically as the ginger-haired girl shook her head.
“Think this makes three on the last eight flights,” Amy snorted. “Can’t imagine how this fucking virus spread around the world so quick, can you?”
“Not a clue,” Abbey replied, imitating and chuckling at her friend’s sarcasm. “Ugh, I dunno. I dunno why we’re still even flying, I mean, it’s not like the virus has gone away, it’s just- A- Amy? Are you okay?” Abbey’s face fell as she saw tears slowly start to trickle from her colleague’s eyes.
“No, no I’m not okay,” Amy moaned as she slowly sunk into one of the galley’s seats. “Nothing about this situation is okay! Right now, I’m meant to be laid on my sofa, recovering from the operation that I’ve dreamed about my whole life. Now I don’t know when it’s going to be- if ever. I’m meant to be spending quality time with my daughter on her summer holiday, now I don’t know when I’ll ever see her again. And- ugh.” And I don’t know how I feel about Sophie, Amy ruefully thought to herself. Or what'll happen when her book comes out and she leaves the airline for good...
“Yeah, well, the entire world’s gone to shit right now,” Abbey sighed as she sat down next to her friend and gave her a gentle one-armed hug. “I mean, I shouldn’t even be hugging you, but- yeah. I won’t tell if you don’t, heh.”
“Thanks,” Amy whispered. “I- ugh, I dunno. I dunno how long I can keep living on the measly shifts we’re getting, even if it is a lot more than we were getting three months ago.”
“Have you been looking for other work?” Abbey asked, before grimacing as Amy stared at her witheringly.
“What ‘other work’?” Amy snorted. “I mean, yes, I can go and work at Amazon or Tesco or somewhere, but I’d rather drink jet fuel.”
“At least for the airline we get to look cute while we work?” Abbey asked, smiling as her friend chuckled.
“Always a plus point in my eyes,” Amy chuckled.
“Yeah,” Abbey whispered, before biting her lip. “So, umm, you- you were due your operation this summer, then?”
“Well- next month, actually,” Amy replied with a sad sigh. “But I figure, like, it was close enough? I mean, I’ve been on HRT since February 2017, that’s three years, that’s long enough, surely?”
“Yeah, well,” Abbey said hesitantly. “It’s most definitely NOT a competition, but I- I’ve been on HRT a year longer than you and I’m still, like, ‘sullied’, if you’ll excuse the Game of Thrones metaphor.”
“…Sorry,” Amy mumbled.
“Hey, how is it your fault doctors kept struggling to take me seriously?” Abbey asked. “I’d been working for the airline for a year before they prescribed me oestrogen. Kept wanting to make sure I was, like, ‘really’ trans and not some sort of fetishist or something.”
“What made them think that in the first place?” Amy asked.
“The fact that there were days I’d get home from work and instead of slipping into a comfy pair of lounge pants, I’d slip into a rubber leotard and a corset instead,” Abbey replied, giggling as her colleague’s eyes widened. “In fairness, I get how people might see that as a bit fetish-y. But just because I was having fun, doesn’t mean I was any less a woman. But not everyone saw it that way, so- yeah.”
“Yeah, I had something similar with my doctors when I started transitioning,” Amy snorted. “Wanted to make sure I wasn’t, as they put it, an ‘autogynephile’. As in ‘gets off on the thought of me as a woman’. Like all trans people have the chance of being like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs or something.”
“Ugh,” Abbey spat. “I mean, I get how girls like might get, like, excited at the prospect of being all femmed up, but- yeah…” Amy frowned as her supervisor trailed off.
“…Abs?” Amy asked cautiously.
“I- ugh,” Abbey sighed. “I really don’t mean anything by this, but I’m thinking, like, of some of the girls who’ve worked for us who aren’t, like, in a hurry to get ‘snipped’. Girls, like Natalie or Sophie, for example.”
“What about Sophie?” Amy found herself asking defensively.
“Well, she’s, like, not on HRT, is she?” Abbey asked. “Comfortable enough to be feminine in her own XY skin, the lucky girl.”
“Well- I guess,” Amy mumbled with a shrug.
“But it also means,” Abbey said, before pausing. “And I’m REALLY trying to think of the best of wording this, that- well, you know…”
“That they’re like, more like crossdressers than ‘real’ trans girls?” Amy asked.
“…I dunno,” Abbey sighed. “All I know is that if Natalie and Sophie tell me that they’re girls, I’m not going to ask them to lift their skirt or do a blood test to prove it.”
“Yeah,” Amy said, taking several deep breaths to calm herself. “And I- I’ll be alright, I think I just needed to vent after dealing with that idiot on top of everything, heh.”
“I don’t blame you,” Abbey said softly. “Best cure for cabin fever is being stuck in a plane cabin all day, after all!”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Amy sighed as she stood up and straightened her skirt. “And going back to what we were talking about, I guess that being their own kind of girls didn’t stop Natalie or Sophie from finding someone they love, either.”
“Didn’t know Sophie was seeing anyone,” Abbey mused, making Amy grimace as she realised her slip of the tongue. “Did they get together before or after lockdown started?”
“Umm, I- I’m not sure,” Amy replied.
“Meh, I guess it’s not like they can go round your flat all the time, not anymore, anyway,” Abbey shrugged. “Good for her though!”
“Yeah,” Amy chuckled as she found herself wondering how she’d feel if Sophie got a girlfriend who wasn’t her- and quickly concluding that she didn’t know what she’d feel…
Sophie took a deep breath as she logged into Zoom on her laptop, trying not to fidget in her dress as she mentally prepared herself for the grilling that was to come. All throughout the writing of the book, Sophie had been excited- she’d had the opportunity to research, to create and choose her words carefully and say only what she wanted to say. However, when the time came to publicise the book, she knew that wouldn’t be the case.
When the exposé about the airline had been published, Sophie was relieved in a way that it had been Rachel’s name on the cover, as that meant that she would be the one dealing with the awkward questions. Rachel was the one who appeared on shows such as Good Morning Britain and Panorama, she was the one who had to explain why she was biting the hand that fed her for years, she was the one dealing with accusations of being a socialist- or worse. However, with Sophie’s new book, it would be her name on the cover, and she who had to answer the awkward questions- and given the topic of the book, she knew to expect the questions to be not just awkward, but personal too.
As well as testimonies from other transgender people, Sophie had included a lot of her own experiences in the book and had gone to great lengths not to sugar-coat of downplay what she had gone through. She’d been open about how she’d been recruited by Rachel to go ‘undercover’ at the airline, how she’d never had any transgender feelings before starting that work and she'd initially seen her life as 'Sophie' as nothing more than another job. She knew that she would face accusations- even from those within the transgender community- of being fake, of not being ‘really’ transgender. However, she knew- both from her own experiences and the many friends who had helped her with her book- that no two people lived the same life or underwent the same transition. What 'worked' for Sophie wouldn't necessarily work for another trans girl and vice versa, and moreover, the way she conducted her private life was none of anyone’s business- not her employer’s, her interviewers or even those who would buy her book. Though Sophie needed to convince herself that it was none of Amy’s business either…
“Good morning,” the woman on Sophie’s screen said with a professional smile as she answered the call. “Thanks for agreeing to this interview, Sophie. My name’s Allison, but I’m happy for you to call me Ally if you’d prefer.”
“Thanks,” Sophie replied. “And I’d prefer to be called Sophie, please, and when the interview is published, I’d like my pronouns to be ‘she’ or ‘they’.”
“Okay,” Allison said with a nod and a smile. “I’ve got quite a lot of questions I want to ask you, but I want to start by asking what inspired you to write this book?”
“It wasn’t just one thing,” Sophie replied. “Before writing this book, I’d- I’d previously ghost-written another one.” Might as well get it all out in the open, no point in sugar-coating it, Sophie thought to herself. “A friend of mine had approached me to write an exposé about- about their place of work. Their place of work was well known for having a significant number of transgender employees, so she approached me- at the time, presenting as male- to go undercover to give an outsider’s perspective.”
“So up until that point, you hadn’t been transgender?” Allison asked, making Sophie try her hardest not to smirk- of all the questions she’d been expecting, that one was at the very top of the list.
“Well- yes and no,” Sophie replied. “It was something I hadn’t thought of before. Even when I think back to my childhood, I hadn’t felt any of the emotions my friends told me they felt- longing, insecurity, envy even. But as I started to live my life as a woman, I found more and more that I wasn’t simply pretending- I was truly living as a woman. There was a significant part of me that felt more alive than I ever had before, all because I was able to explore and embrace my feminine side. And moreover, because I had friends, and ultimately family who enabled me to be the person I am today.”
“So you don’t feel that with your gender identity, you’re ‘appropriating’ the experiences of other trans women?” Ally asked, causing Sophie to subtly bristle, even though she had anticipated that question as well.
“Well- no, because I’m not seeking to appropriate anyone’s experience, I’m trying to create my own,” Sophie replied. “Another argument I regularly hear- from transphobes, usually- is that trans women are seeking to become women in order to try to take something away from cis women, but again, that’s nonsense. Everybody’s journey, everybody’s transition is unique, but what’s almost universal is that people who transition seek to add to their true gender, rather than take away- and the same is true for non-binary people, or people who are two-spirit, or agender. Many of whose experiences are included in the book.”
“There are many people though, especially women, who would feel uncomfortable accessing single-sex safe spaces such as refuges if they admit trans women,” Ally said. “What would you say to people who expressed those concerns?” Way to word the question to make them sound like the reasonable ones, Sophie thought to herself.
“Well, for starters, if a trans woman needs to access a refuge, it’s far, far more likely that they themselves will have been a victim of crime or domestic abuse,” Sophie replied in a soft, gentle voice. “I’m sure there will be people who’ll point to crimes committed by a small group of transgender people as examples of why safe spaces should be trans-exclusionary, but if you go down that road it’s a slippery slope toward excluding people based on other characteristics, such as sexual orientation.”
“That brings me on neatly to my next question,” Ally said. “Recently, such as at 2018's London Pride event, there have been an increasing number of people accusing same-gender couples of appropriating the struggle same-sex couples have had in achieving equality, of trivialising their struggles. How would you respond to them, as fellow members of the LGBT community?” You’re really going in hard with these questions, Sophie thought to herself as she prepared to give her rehearsed answer.
“I have detailed many such experiences in the book,” Sophie replied. “One thing that same gender couples- where one or more person is trans- and ‘all cis’ same sex couples have in common is that without exception, they experience the same homophobia, and it can come from all ages, all shapes and sizes. In the book, I’ve included the experience of a couple of my friends from America who visited London for the first time a few years ago. In their week here, they experienced at least three separate instances of homophobia, and while some of the experiences were mostly harmless- old busybodies, that sort of thing- there sadly are occasions when it can and has escalated into violence.” Sophie tried not to smirk as she noticed her interviewer typing into her keyboard. You weren’t expecting THAT reply, the brown-haired woman thought to herself. Why would you need to type anything when you’re recording this conversation…
“What lesson, if any, do you hope to convey with your book?” Ally asked, forcing Sophie to suppress another smirk. Change the subject when you don’t like the answer, classic, Sophie thought to herself before replying.
“Too many people are focused on who people were, especially trans people,” Sophie replied. “Who people ARE is what’s most important.” Sophie smiled genuinely as Ally nodded and continued on a line of questioning that was noticeably much less confrontational than previously.
As she logged out from Zoom and shut down her laptop, Sophie let out a long sigh before returning to the living room. While she was satisfied that she’d been successful at promoting her book, Sophie had been frustrated at the number of personal questions she’d had to answer, even though she was expecting the odd one or two. She was grateful, however, that no questions had been asked of her own relationship status- though even this frustrated Sophie as she realised she’d still have to answer- or at least, try to answer- those same questions herself when Amy returned from her flight…
“Hey,” Hayley said softly as Sophie returned to the living room. “How’d it go?”
“About what I expected,” Sophie replied with a shrug.
“…Is that good or bad?” Hayley asked confusedly.
“It’s- ehh, I guess I’ll find out when it’s published,” Sophie replied. “In terms of plugging the book, I did what I could, but of course, as a journalist I know that newspapers- well, any publications really will only publish what they want to publish, and any words can be twisted to say what the editors and owners want them to say. Kinda why I’ve declined interviews with the likes of the Mail, the Sun etc.”
“Yeah, you’ve mentioned the ‘techniques’ of the big papers before,” Hayley said, before biting her lip. “Have you- have you ever thought about, you know, applying for a job there? I mean, like, not in general, but as- as Sophie? ‘Cause, like, once the book is out-“
“-I’m going to be- well, not out of a job, but definitely no longer employed by the airline,” Sophie interrupted. “And- ugh, I dunno. Maybe? I mean, like, I’d have thought nothing of working for one of the Murdoch papers before ‘cause it’s a job, you know, but- yeah. Let’s just say the last few years have been an eye-opening experience in more than one way. I never expected to be the face of a trade union, for starters!”
“Or a bridesmaid to the daughter of a billionaire?” Hayley teased, smirking as Sophie rolled her eyes. “Though I’m guessing you’d rather wear the dress again than pull on a Jeremy Corbyn hat and sing ‘The Red Flag’ with Natalie?”
“Depends on how tightly you lace the corset,” Sophie replied, earning a giggle from her friend. “Heh, I dunno. I mean, if we HAVE to talk politics, I guess I used to think of myself as a bit Libertarian, you know? LGBT issues didn’t affect me, so I had no reason to, like, stand in their way. And now that they do affect me, well, it- it’s easy to see now that people who DO have that attitude, they- well…”
“They’re also not standing in the way of the transphobes?” Hayley asked, smiling sadly as Sophie nodded. “Yeah, I’ve heard the ‘first they came for’ speech all my life. Well, from my granddad mostly, while he was still alive.”
“He was a bit of a socialist, then?” Sophie asked.
“Slightly to the left of Leon Trotsky,” Hayley chuckled. “He worked in the mines right up until Thatcher closed them all. I sometimes wonder, you know? What he’d have made of, well, me. Just ‘cause he was left wing doesn’t mean he’d automatically be pro-LGBT, especially not his generation.”
“Did he ever say anything about it?” Sophie asked.
“Not that I remember,” Hayley replied with a shrug. “He died when I was 13, so- yeah.”
“Is this your dad’s father you’re talking about?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as her flatmate nodded.
“I think he’s part of the reason my dad took so long to come out,” Hayley mumbled. “Heh, the exact same ‘problem’ as me, but with exactly opposite circumstances.”
“Your dad didn’t mention anything when I interviewed her for the book, though,” Sophie said. “Heh, maybe I’ll write another one, but from the perspective of family members of transgender people?”
“I’d read it,” Hayley shrugged. “I loved the article they did in the Sunday Globe a few years ago where they interviewed Paige’s parents, and the parents of, like, Jamie-Lee Burke, Steph Abbott and so on.”
“Guess I won’t be out of work for as long as I thought, then!” Sophie chuckled, laughing harder as her friend hurled a cushion at her. “Heh, I suppose- I suppose I SHOULD call Marie, though, let her know that we might need to have a few words tomorrow. It’s a shame, I’ve really started to like her, you know?”
“Yeah,” Hayley sighed. “Maybe because she can actually remember what it’s like to be on the front line. If it was Alana and you wanted to leave, you’d- heh. Speaking of Natalie, I assume she told you the way she quit? I mean, I wasn’t working for the airline at the time, but- yeah. I think everybody’s dreamed of doing that to their employer at one point or another, heh.”
“I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “It’s still gonna be weird, you know? Not knowing what countries I’ll be flying too, not wearing the uniform again…”
“Well- not the AUTHENTIC uniform,” Hayley chuckled. “I think virtually everyone in the tutu project has a replica of it somewhere, or at least owns enough clothes to be able to put together a replica.”
“The reason for that being?” Sophie asked, before a wave of realisation spread across her face. “Ah- costume party, of course.”
“Is it too early to start thinking about your birthday next year?” Hayley teased. “I would ask about my birthday next month, but I’d prefer it if covid doesn’t gatecrash the party, so- yeah.”
“Yeah,” Sophie sighed sympathetically. “I mean, I hope it won’t ‘gatecrash’ mine next year too, but- heh. Wearing an airline uniform in July heat, we won’t need the virus to give us a fever!”
“Ah- yep, hasn’t thought about that,” Hayley chuckled. “Also hadn’t thought about the fact that you’ll have been away from the airline for about 11 months by that point…”
“Yep,” Sophie whispered, before sighing. “I should- I really should call Marie, let her know- heh. Talk about 11 months from now, 24 hours from now I’ll probably be an ex-colleague of yours.”
“But never an ex-friend,” Hayley says, smiling as she squeezed Sophie’s hand. “That’s the important thing.”
“The MOST important thing,” Sophie whispered, as she wondered whether or not the same could be said of the soon-to-be-returning third member of 'Team ASH'.
Amy let out a tired sigh as she exited the tube station and removed her mask, savouring the feel of fresh air on her face for the first time in hours, but what felt like the first time in years. As she walked the short distance back to her flat, she dwelled on what she and Abbey had discussed on the flight, though her thoughts were quickly interrupted when she arrived at her front door.
“Hey Amy!” Hayley said with a smile as the ginger-haired girl entered the flat. “Good flight?”
“Yeah, other than another ‘dur hur hur me no wear mask’ wanker,” Amy snorted, opting not to tell her flatmate about her discussion with Abbey.
“Better order some more lateral flow tests, then,” Hayley sighed.
“It’s fine, I grabbed a few from work on the way home,” Amy said, taking the testing kits out of her handbag before kicking off her shoes and flopping down onto the sofa. “Where- where’s Sophie? She’s doing her interviews today for her book, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, but not, like, in-person, just over Zoom,” Hayley replied. “I think she- I think she’s on the phone to Marie right now.”
“…Oh,” Amy said, immediately understanding the significance of the phone call.
“Yeah,” Hayley whispered.
“I’m- I’ll just, like, get changed, get my make-up off while she’s talking, then,” Amy mumbled.
“Do you- do you want some privacy?” Hayley asked gently. “You and Sophie, like, when you talk, I can go into our room and-“
“It- it’s okay,” Amy replied with a tired grin. “it’s ‘Team ASH’, not ‘Team AS’, after all.”
“Well-, yeah, but-“ Hayley said.
“Honestly,” Amy interrupted, silencing her flatmate before heading into her bedroom.
When she emerged a few minutes later, having exchanged her loose summer dress for a plain t-shirt and a pair of shorts, Amy smiled as she saw Sophie sat on their sofa, before blushing and averting her gaze as she remembered her conversation with Abbey.
“Hi Amy,” Sophie said softly.
“Hi,” Amy whispered in reply.
“I, umm, I heard you had a bit of a shitty flight?” Sophie asked.
“Ugh, just an anti-masker, nothing serious,” Amy replied with a shrug. “How was your interview?”
“Umm, good,” Sophie replied, before sighing. “When- when I was talking about the book, anyway. Needless to say, they started asking a few more personal questions as well, like being trans means I deserve to be interrogated about every little motivation or something…”
“I think we’ve all been there,” Amy sighed sadly. “Did you- you didn’t, you know, tell them anything about, like, us, did you? Not- not that there’s, like, an ‘us’ to talk about, but-“
“I didn’t say a word,” Sophie reassured her friend. “I mean, it’s not like there IS anything to talk about, but- yeah.”
“Yeah,” Amy whispered, averting her gaze- something her flatmates immediately picked up on.
“A- Amy?” Hayley asked. “Are you okay?”
“Ugh, I-“ Amy replied, before letting out a long moan. “Let’s just say I’m feeling better than I was on the flight, heh. After the unmasked moron had a go at me, I kinda- kinda needed to sit back and have a bit of a cry, heh.”
“Was he THAT bad?” Hayley asked.
“Well- it’s not him, really, he’s just an obnoxious twat, and god knows we’ve all had our fill of THEM,” Amy replied. “It’s just everything getting on top of me, you know? And- and I’m really missing Jade more than ever…” Amy clamped her eyes closed and slowly wept as her two flatmates sat either side of her and wrapped her in a tight, loving and very welcome hug.
“I’m sorry,” Sophie whispered.
“As well you should be,” Amy sighed, making Sophie frown as she released the hug. “’Cause I’m going to miss you almost as much.”
“Umm- what?” Sophie asked, confused by her friend's sudden change in attitude.
“Should- is this my cue to go?” Hayley asked softly.
“No- no, please stay,” Amy sighed. “And I’d ask you the same thing Soph, but you- I know you just called Marie. So… this is it, right? The end of ‘Team ASH’?” Sophie bit her lip as she stared into her friend’s sorrowful blue eyes. She didn’t want to lie to Amy, but at the same time, she knew that the truth had the potential to be almost as painful. With both options seemingly equally bad to her, Sophie took the only option that she felt was open to her- to speak from the heart.
“We don’t have to work together to still be ‘Team ASH’,” Sophie replied. “Hell, none of us have been doing much work over the last few months anyway- well, umm, not for the airline, that is.”
“Yeah,” Amy whispered. “And I guess I am excited to read your book, heh. I’d be a bit more excited if we could have a launch party with all our friends, but- never mind.”
“We could always have a party tomorrow night, just the three of us,” Sophie suggested. “Assuming, umm, that you want to, like, celebrate me leaving the airline?”
“I- ugh, I dunno,” Amy sighed. “I get why you’d want to celebrate it, but- heh. Another reminder that nothing’s the same anymore.”
“Meh, I guess life would be dull if everything stayed the same the whole time,” Hayley mused. “I mean, ‘global pandemic’ isn’t the change of pace I’d have picked, but- yeah, I’m not really helping that much, am I?”
“Can’t have ‘Team ASH’ without ‘H’,” Amy replied with a shrug. “or ‘A’ or ‘S’, for that matter.”
“Well, I- I’m not planning on going anywhere,” Sophie said firmly. “To live, I mean. A job is just a job, you know? But what we’ve got, it- it means something.”
“So… what exactly HAVE we got, Soph?” Amy asked, making Sophie freeze. “’Cause we’ve talked it through more times than I can count and I still don’t know.”
“Okay, now I’m DEFINITELY leaving you to it,” Hayley said, jumping off the sofa only for Sophie to grab her arm. “…Guys, you know I’m really not into threesomes, right?”
“Well- I’m not that into TWOsomes,” Sophie said. “Not with either of you, anyway. The sex, it- it was a mistake. I realise that now. It shouldn’t have happened, it has damaged one of the best friendships I’ve ever had and it- it should never happen again.”
“Agreed,” Amy said. “I- I DO love you, Soph. But I- I can’t see us ever being, like, ‘proper’ girlfriends.”
“Same,” Sophie said, smiling as she felt like a weight was lifted off her chest.
“Have we- have we just sorted everything?” Hayley asked. "Is it REALLY that easy?"
“Not- ugh, not quite,” Amy sighed. “’Cause when either of us DO get a girlfriend, it’s going to raise a few awkward questions about why the two of us are so close. I mean, we could always hide it, but- yeah. I think all three of us have had enough ‘hiding the truth’ for a lifetime.”
“But that’s a bridge we can cross when we come to it,” Sophie said. “I- I do love you too. Both of you. But I- I don’t even want a ‘proper’ girlfriend right now, my career- yep, heh. Typical ‘career focussed woman in her mid-twenties’, heh. Even if she didn’t even know she was a woman this time three years ago.”
“I- I love you too,” Amy whispered. “As- like, as if you were family. I- I’m kinda not looking right now either. Not that I can, what with covid, but- yeah.”
“So… Team ASH forever?” Hayley asked.
“Team ASH forever!” Amy and Sophie both cheered, relieved to have made progress in their 'relationship' but still retaining a level of tension about how uncertain their futures were- and whether those futures would be together or apart.
“I just- I do wish I could help you more with what you’re going through,” Sophie sighed. “Both of you, I mean, with your families and all, like.”
“If I thought there was anything you could do, believe me, I would ask,” Hayley sighed. “As far as I’m concerned, the two of you are my family. My REAL family. Just- just don’t tell my dad, heh!”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Amy sighed. “I mean, compared to you, I’m lucky, both my parents support me, I don’t have any brothers or sisters being arseholes to me, but- yeah. Doesn’t make my relationship with Jade OR Kerry any easier.”
“I suppose- I suppose, you know, a copy of your book might help?” Hayley asked hesitantly.
“Umm, well, you’re both getting signed copies of the book anyway!” Sophie chuckled. “And I doubt there’s anything in there that you don’t already know, anyway.”
“Well, first- don’t be too sure,” Hayley replied.
“I know I’ve learned a lot from you about my own transition,” Amy said softly. “I know that might sound silly to you, but it’s true.”
“Maybe,” Sophie shrugged. “God only knows how much I’ve learned from the two of you about my own gender identity, heh.” Sophie paused and bit her lip as her eyes met with Amy’s.
“Umm, anyway,” Hayley said, sensing the awkwardness between her friends, “I was thinking- like, I wasn’t going to keep the book for myself- well, apart from my signed copy obviously, but- but I was thinking of sending it to my family. Like, to my mum, my sister, that sort of thing.”
“Heh, if I sent a book to Jade, I’d probably never see her again,” Amy sighed. “If I sent one to Kerry, though, and explained that she shouldn’t let Jade see it until she wants to…”
“I think you’re putting a bit too much faith in my writing,” Sophie said with a tired chuckle.
“I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Amy retorted. “As a journalist AND a woman.”
“Especially the latter,” Hayley said, smiling supportively.
“And besides,” Amy said, “I know that since lockdown started, Jade’s become a real bookworm. Kerry keeps ordering second hand books for her off of Amazon- ‘cause the library obviously isn’t open- and she’s been reading everything she can get her hands on. So maybe, if she sees that her mum has a new book…”
“That her mother will probably tell her specifically not to read?” Hayley retorted.
“Not got much experience with kids, have you?” Amy asked with a smug grin that triggered a group giggle for the three girls. “Besides, she’s seven, she’s getting to an age where- heh. Where she’s getting more and more independent, more likely to think for herself… yeah. Wouldn’t surprise me if she found the book on her own initiative and started reading it…”
“You DO know that the book covers some, well, ‘sensitive’ topics, right?” Sophie asked teasingly, before frowning as she remembered that she and Amy had first-hand experience of the most 'sensitive topic' detailed in the book.
“…Well, at least things WERE resolved between you two for a brief while,” Hayley sighed.
“No- ugh,” Amy sighed. “Just because- well, umm…”
“Just because we’ve talked it through doesn’t mean things will never be awkward,” Sophie said with a loud sigh. “But, you know, given enough time…”
“That’s running out tomorrow?” Amy asked in an uncharacteristically timid voice.
“Don’t-“ Sophie said, before letting out another long sigh. “Tomorrow isn’t an ending. Not for me, not for the three of us. It’s just a new beginning, that’s all. The only people who can bring an end to ‘Team ASH’ are, well, ‘A’, ‘S’ and ‘H’. And I can only speak for ‘S’, but I don’t want ‘team ASH’ to EVER end.”
“Not does ‘H’,” Hayley confirmed.
“…And nor does ‘A’,” Amy said. “And- and you’re right, give it enough time and- heh. Maybe we’ll be able to laugh about it eventually. Even if I’m not in much of a ‘laughing’ mood right now.”
“Well, we can do something about THAT as well,” Hayley said with a warm smile. “How about tonight, the three of us have a party to celebrate Miss Connelly’s final day of- well, ‘bondage’ is probably the wrong word to use here.”
“Especially when you suggested a fancy dress party!” Amy teased her blushing flatmate. “But- yeah, why not? We can crack open a few bottles of wine, get some food ordered, scare the shit out of the delivery boy with our costumes, whatever they’ll be, anyway.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t thinking in terms of ‘costumes’,” Hayley said. “I was thinking more along the lines of ‘fancy dress’ as in ‘dress that is fancy’. If you get my meaning?”
“I do, and I know just the one,” Amy said with a wide grin. “Bought it in February, was planning to wear it to- well, regardless, I bought it in February, haven’t had the chance to ‘properly’ wear it yet… until now, hehe!”
“Same here, only swap ‘February’ for ‘Christmas’,” Hayley giggled. “Sophie? Do you have any gorgeous, glamorous gowns you can get into this evening?”
“Oh- umm…” Sophie mumbled, before giggling and blushing. “Maybe, about… seven? Heh. Not that I ever wear them anywhere, even before lockdown, but- heh. Ever been browsing Amazon or the Missguided website and seen something that you know you just have to have, even if you know you’ll never wear it anywhere?”
“As if there was ever any doubt that you’re truly one of us?” Hayley asked as the three women shared an excited giggle.
Just over an hour later, the three women returned to their small living room dressed up for a night out- or, under the circumstances, an evening in. Hayley felt like a million dollars in her short red dress with a flared, multi-layered skirt and matching heels. Sophie relished the opportunity to wear her long-sleeved, extra-short electric blue dress with platform stiletto sandals. Amy, however, took the opportunity to go all out. Her long, jet-black velvet gown fit her like a glove, as did the 4” heels on her feet. A choker of the same material as her dress adorned her neck, while chandelier earrings hung from her earlobes and her face was covered in thick, expensive makeup including smoky eyeshadow and blood-red lipstick. To complete her look, her long ginger hair was tied into an elaborate updo with string of pearls woven throughout.
“…What?” Amy asked with a smug grin as she saw the gobsmacked expression of her flatmates. “You did say ‘fancy’ dress, didn’t you?”
“There’s ‘fancy’ and there’s ‘fancy’,” Hayley replied.
“I kinda feel like I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt,” Sophie snorted as she gestured to her own dress. “The only things missing are the opera gloves.”
“Thank you for reminding me!” Amy said with a smug grin, returning to her bedroom only to emerge a few seconds later with her arms encased in soft black bicep-length gloves.
“Very nice, Audrey!” Hayley teased her roommate, who responded by rolling her eyes before posing with her hands on her shapely hips.
“Audrey Hepburn has nothing on me,” Amy said with a smug grin. “Even if she didn’t need a corset QUITE as tight as mine…”
“Who needs comfort when you look as good as us, though?” Sophie asked as she mirrored Amy’s pose.
“What we DO need is music!” Hayley giggled, linking her phone to the television’s speakers and grinning as the opening bars of 'Hot Girl Summer' filled the flat. “Ahh… perfect, hehe!”
“Kinda difficult to dance to with three of us, though,” Sophie said as she sashayed into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine.
“Especially as- as we’ve established MANY times- Team ASH is much better as a trio,” Amy said, sharing a knowing glance with Sophie.
“Oh, I dunno about that,” Sophie said. “We had fun when Francine lived here, and DEFINITELY when Rachel lived here.”
“Even if she made you sleep on the sofa while she had her fella over?” Hayley teased Sophie, who sighed and rolled her eyes.
“That was only a few times,” Sophie retorted. “Heh, I- I miss her, you know? Even if I do enjoy having the bedroom to myself, heh.”
“And if ‘Team RASH’ isn’t the best acronym in the world,” Amy said, making her friends smirk. “But yeah, she was pretty cool.”
“And, of course, you can never have too many friends!” Hayley giggled, before selecting a slower music track on her phone. “Okay, so, three-way dancing. I’ve got an idea, but I think we’re going to need to coordinate a bit. Soph, you put your hand on Amy’s hip, Amy, you put your hand on mine and I’ll put my hand on Sophie’s. Next, Sophie, you put your left hand around my shoulders, and- we can work the rest out, hehe!”
“…This feels like an accident waiting to happen,” Amy said.
“I would say I need a few more drinks before I try this,” Sophie said, “but that’s probably the LAST thing we need right now!”
“Definitely gonna need a few afterward,” Amy said, earning an eyeroll from Hayley.
“Girls!” Hayley said. “Now we slowly move around, anticlockwise like this.” The three women slowly started to step in time with the music, but quickly found themselves losing coordination with each other.
“Watch my toes!” Sophie said, trying her hardest not to giggle as she concentrated.
“Sod your toes, watch my shoes!” Amy retorted, triggering a giggle from all three girls as they started to stumble.
“I think- I think we’ve got the hang of this!” Hayley giggled excitedly, before yelping as her heel caught in Amy’s dress, causing the ginger haired girl to stumble and fall, landing on top of Sophie in an undignified heap on the floor. Both girls briefly looked into each other’s eyes, before blushing and giggling with embarrassment, happy that their earlier talk had pre-empted any awkwardness such a situation could have caused- or worse yet, any erotic feelings for both of them.
“Yeah, I don’t think we need to call Strictly anytime soon,” Amy said, laughing as she straightened her dress and helped Sophie off the floor. “And if this dress has so much as ONE crease-“
“Yes, yes, okay,” Hayley said, before giggling and heading to the kitchen to pour three more glasses of wine. “In the meantime, though, I think it’s time we had a toast: To Team ASH, the greatest trio of girls since Charlie’s Angels!”
“To Team ASH!” The three women cheered as they clinked their glasses.
“Let no MAN tear asunder!” Sophie giggled.
The three women spent the next two hours dancing, drinking and celebrating. As the afternoon turned into late evening, the wine continued to flow more freely, and it wasn’t long before Amy, Sophie and Hayley were all feeling the effects of it.
“O- okay, okay,” Sophie said, giggling as she sipped her wine. “Never have I ever… worn a thong back-to-front.” Sophie smirked as Amy reached for her glass, only to giggle and sit back in her chair.
“…Fine,” Hayley sighed as she took a gulp of her drink. “What? I was hungover, it was early… got halfway to Lisbon before I realised!”
“Right, right, my turn,” Amy said. “Never have I ever… worn a genuine school skirt bought from a uniform shop.”
“Not fair, you know I grew up with an older sister,” Hayley grumbled as she took another gulp of wine. “…Soph?” Sophie blushed as she reached for her wine and finished the glass.
“…It was an online shop,” Sophie explained as her flatmates giggled. “I assume that still counts?”
“Given what’s been happening over the last few months, I’d say so!” Amy chuckled. “Still going to need some context, though?”
“I was looking for a smart navy-coloured skirt to match a blazer I’d bought,” Sophie replied. “I saw it online, thought ‘yeah, that looks good’, bought it and only then realised it was a school uniform shop. Fits me perfectly, though.”
“I never think of buying school clothes when I need to look smart,” Amy mused. “Even if I am, like, ‘borderline petite’. Heh, Kerry would love it if I bought my clothes at the same place as Jade…”
“I think Rachel occasionally wore school clothes from time to time, when she lived here, anyway,” Sophie mused. “In fact, didn’t we have a school uniform birthday party for her one year?”
“Umm… can’t remember if it was Rachel but we definitely did for someone,” Amy said. “Though those uniforms were less Waterloo Road and more ‘even smaller Britney Spears’, heh!”
"And where, exactly, did you buy your uniform from, Miss Harris?" Hayley asked, smiling as the ginger-haired girl rolled her eyes and took a gulp of her wine.
"...Fine," Amy snorted, before giggling loudly at her failed attempt at deception.
“And- and it couldn't have been Rachel's party, or we’d have made her tie her hair in pigtails,” Sophie said. “Though if memory serves, she WAS there.”
“You’ve been talking about Miss Lyscombe a lot lately,” Hayley said in a teasing voice. “Even more than usual today!”
“… I just miss having her around,” Sophie shrugged. “No offence to you two, but it’d be nice to, like, see friends face-to-face again.”
“Well, we’re all feeling that way,” Amy retorted. “And I’m not thinking of or naming anyone in particular that I’m missing…”
“Okay, alright, if you must know, I- I like Rachel,” Sophie sighed dramatically. “As in ‘like’ like.” Sophie frowned as she stared into Amy’s eyes, her inebriated state stopping her from interpreting her one-time lover's facial expression and causing her tension levels to rise once again. However, the smile that spread across the ginger girl’s face soon put Sophie at ease.
“You never said anything about that before,” Amy said gently. “Never even hinted about it.”
“She always had a boyfriend before, while she was living with us,” Sophie replied. “Then that shit happened with the airline, and- yeah. Kinda missed the boat on that one. Or- or plane. Whatever.”
“Hey, come on, you’re only, what, 26?” Hayley said. “And Rachel’s 21, you’ve got years ahead to make it work.”
“Meh, I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “Dunno how she’d feel about dating someone who owns more nail polish than her and buys school skirts off the internet, though.”
“Cuts down on cosmetics costs,” Amy shrugged, before giggling. “But if you’re missing her THAT much, why not give her a call? Maybe turn this into a ‘virtual party’?” Sophie rolled her eyes as Amy giggled, though inside, she felt her nerves start to jangle at the prospect of speaking to Rachel under the circumstances.
“She- she’s probably busy,” Sophie mumbled. “Her sisters have probably got to be up early tomorrow for school, so she can’t party too late…”
“Okay, first: it’s 9pm, what’s she going to be busy doing?” Amy retorted. “Second, it’s August, it’s the middle of the summer holidays, and even if it wasn’t, nobody’s been at school since lockdown started, so- yeah.” Sophie sighed and tried not to tremble with nerves as Amy propped her iPad on the coffee table and logged into Zoom. Before long, she initiated a call, and moments later, the youthful face of Rachel Lyscombe appeared on the screen.
“Hey Amy! Hey girls!” Rachel beamed as she tried to hold her phone steady. “What’s u- whoa, you’re all looking fancy today, hehe! I would ask if you were going out somewhere, but, well, ‘out’ isn’t much of an option right now, so- yeah, heh.”
“Nope!” Amy said with a sad sigh. “So we’re having a party IN instead. We would’ve invited you, but didn’t want you to end up getting fined or something, heh.”
“Plus, you’d have to be a total shithead to go out boozing with friends or colleagues while the whole country’s locked down,” Hayley chuckled. “But that’s not important right now. What IS important is: how are you? We’ve been missing you these last few months-“
“Some more than others-“ Amy interrupted as Sophie tried not to frown.
“-And we just want to, you know, catch up!” Hayley continued.
“Umm, I’m doing okay, thanks!” Rachel chuckled. “Well, as okay as possible, under the circumstances, heh. Are you three all still flying regularly?”
“Not even close,” Hayley sighed. “We’re, like, WAY down in the number of flights, right across the entire airline in fact.”
“Yeah, I kinda thought you might be, what with- well, you know what,” Rachel said softly.
“Though SOMEONE at least will be making up for lost income tomorrow!” Amy teased as she gave Sophie’s shoulders a tight squeeze.
“Oh- is your new book out tomorrow?” Rachel asked with an excited grin.
“…I’ve been doing publicity interviews, so- yep,” Sophie replied, blushing as her three friends all giggled excitedly.
“Ah, so cool!” Rachel giggled. “I actually know a published author, hehe! And I’ll be sure to buy a copy off of Amazon tomorrow too.”
“No, you don’t need to pay!” Sophie protested. “I get six free copies anyway, and I’ve given a copy each to these two and one to my parents, so I can sign a copy and send it your way if you want?”
“Oh- only if you’re sure,” Rachel said with a bashful giggle. “I wouldn’t want to, you know, impose…”
“Really, it’s not a problem at all,” Sophie said. “Are- like, have you worked in lockdown at all?”
“Nope,” Rachel sighed. “Not like there’s anywhere TO work, heh. Only options are, like, supermarkets or hospitals, and me and crowds… yeah. Even if they’re forced to stay two metres away that’s still a little, like, close for me…” Rachel bit her lip as a dark mood fell over the conversation. “Anyway, what I’ve really missed- and this came as a surprise to me- is Zoe’s Sunday morning lessons, like, when we all got together for dance class, that sort of thing.”
“Well, none of us are working on Sunday, so dust off your leotard, we’ll call Zoe and see if we can make something happen!” Amy giggled. “I mean, it’s not like she’s been working much either, I guess…”
“Yeah…” Rachel said with a grimace as she panned her phone’s camera behind her to reveal the compact room in which she was sat. “This is my bedroom. If I, like, even attempt a pirouette I’ll probably take out a wall, heh.”
“Living room?” Hayley asked.
“Is pretty much owned by Nicki and Lizzie at the weekend,” Rachel replied. “That goes double in school holidays even before you take lockdown into account.”
“Ask them if they want to join in,” Sophie shrugged.
“Oh, they’d love to, probably,” Rachel replied. “Though they’d probably have more fun laughing at me dancing than dancing themselves, heh.”
“Well we- we’ll work something out,” Amy said. “Even if it’s just to hang out with a mate over Zoom, it’ll be worth it.”
“Which is what we wanted to do now,” Hayley said with a smug smile. “Even if you are a little underdressed.”
“I’m dressed perfectly for someone who’s spending the day sitting on their sofa,” Rachel retorted, giggling as the three women in the flat all playfully jeered her. “Though as I haven’t had the chance to get dressed up in what feels like forever- and I’m assuming you haven’t either- then yeah, I kinda get why you’d want to have, like, a ‘big night’ of it, heh.”
“And we’ve got to celebrate Sophie’s good news somehow, haven’t we?” Hayley teased as her flatmate blushed.
“Well of course we have!” Rachel giggled. “Ah, I really am pleased for you, Soph. I know you’ve been looking forward to getting the book launched for a while.”
“Th- thanks,” Sophie said, her inebriated state causing thoughts to swirl around her mind- most predominantly, thoughts of how Rachel would react if she asked her out on a date. However, despite her best efforts, all Sophie could say was: “I- thanks, heh.”
“Well, I- I look forward to reading it,” Rachel chuckled. “And not just because I’ve had nothing else to do these last few months, heh. Assuming I’m allowed, as a cis girl?”
“It’s as much for cis people as for trans people,” Sophie replied. “Maybe even more so, I mean, I doubt I’m going to teach these two anything they don’t know, heh.”
“Though as I’ve already told her, she might surprise herself,” Amy chuckled. “And besides, you’re an ally, and more importantly, a friend. And we all know the old saying about friends, don’t we?”
“Hell yeah we do!” Rachel giggled as Sophie continued to blush. “Have you had any ideas for your next book, Sophie?”
“Umm, a few,” Sophie replied, trying not to fidget. “But I- I’m going to take a break first, maybe wait for things to be a bit more, you know, normal before I start working on it.”
“That’s probably smart,” Rachel said. “Bask in the glow of your adoring fans first, hehe!” Depending on your definition of ‘adoring’, Sophie thought to herself. “I, umm- I kinda need to go now, my sisters are probably trying to get to sleep and my parents will NOT be happy at the noise I've already made, heh.”
“Oh, okay,” Sophie said, her drunken state causing her emotions to spiral even further out of control. “Well- it was great seeing you, if we have another, like, party thing like this, can we count you in?”
“Sure!” Rachel replied with a giggle. “See you all soon!”
“Bye!” The three women in the flat all cheered, before sighing as Rachel ended the call. A sudden, awkward silence filled the flat as Sophie tried hard to avoid eye contact with Amy.
“…You didn’t tell her, then?” Amy asked.
“It’s not the right time, and I am FAR too pissed,” Sophie replied, before downing another glass of wine. “And I make poor decisions when drunk, if you remember.”
“Yeah, I of all people should know,” Amy said as she fidgeted awkwardly. “But- but- umm…”
“Why- why don’t we see if anyone else is free?” Hayley said, grabbing the iPad and scrolling through the contact list. “Ooh, perfect!” Hayley forced a smile on her face as she initiated a new call, and within seconds, two familiar faces appeared on the screen- a woman with blonde hair, and a woman with jet black hair and mismatched green and blue eyes.
“Hey you three!” Jessica said with an excited giggle. “Ahh, seems like forever since I last saw you all! How are you guys, still working for the airline?”
“Well, employed by the airline, at least,” Hayley replied. “With no one flying anywhere, none of us are doing much actual ‘work’, heh. How about you guys?”
“Still working from home,” Jessica replied. “Which is easy enough to do, I mean, all the people we help have cell phones or laptops so it’s easy to keep in contact. Heh, even, like, 10 years ago we wouldn’t have been able to keep in touch the way we’re doing now.”
“That’s true,” Hayley said with a sad sigh. “Have you kept in touch with anyone else from the airline throughout lockdown?”
“Aye, we chat with Nat and Zoe a lot,” Paige replied. “An’ we were just talking to Abbey and Annabelle on Sunday.”
“That’s cool,” Amy chuckled. “More importantly, what the hell have you done to your hand!?” The five women on the call all grimaced as Paige held up her left hand- the ring and pinkie fingers of which were splinted and bandaged.
“Ugh,” the Scottish woman spat. “We- we ordered some flatpack furniture online, figured we could put it together ourselves, and it turns out we can’t.”
“Does it still hurt?” Sophie asked.
“No’ as much as it did,” Paige sighed. “The worst part was waiting for hours in the ER, panicking ‘cause Jess couldn’t be there wi’ me, and I’m, like, still only on ma’ green card, and the place was full of people who probably had covid, so- yeah. Fortunately came home only with a bandage instead of anything worse.”
“And in fairness,” Jessica giggled, “she was much more worried about damaging her wedding and engagement rings than her actual fingers!”
“Well- aye,” Paige retorted with a snort of laughter. “I can live wi’out a couple of fingers for a few weeks. I cannae live one second without you.” The three women in London all let out a collective ‘aw’ as the married couple in New York exchanged a tender kiss, though deep inside, Amy and Sophie began to feel uncomfortable at the display of affection.
While the two women were happy for their friends’ continued happiness, it served as a reminder of their own single status- and the happiness they could potentially have had with each other. While Sophie was content to remain single for the time being, Amy found herself feeling increasingly anxious. Her acknowledgement that there would be no romantic relationship between her and Sophie had only served to drive home to her how lonely she was. However, Amy's main concern, as always, was not for her, or even for Sophie- but rather, if she were to enter a relationship, how would Kerry accept her child’s ‘aunt’ showing up with another woman in tow, and how would she explain it to Jade?
These questions weighed heavily on Amy’s mind as she and her friends went to bed later that evening, and as she tried to drift off to sleep, she wondered if she'd ever find love again- or at the very least, if she'd ever love someone the way she loved Sophie...
However, the following morning, when Sophie woke up, the first thing she saw through her blurry, hungover eyes was Amy’s face- sitting next to her bed, rather than sleeping in it.
“Good morning, sleepy head- sorry, drunky head, heh!” Amy chuckled, before placing a mug of strong-smelling black coffee and a bottle of aspirin on Sophie’s nightstand. “I’m guessing you need both of these, you got pretty hammered last night!”
“That was the plan,” Sophie replied with a pained moan. “I think it was, anyway…”
“Please tell me you at least took your dress off before getting into bed?” Amy teased her friend.
“The dress is fine,” Sophie grumbled in reply, before yelping in sudden pain. “Wish I’d remembered to take off the cache sex, though…”
“Yeah, I’ve totally done THAT before too, heh,” Amy chuckled tiredly, before sighing.
“…Is- is everything okay?” Sophie asked.
“Well- heh,” Amy replied with a sigh. “Is ANYTHING okay right now? But it- it’s nothing you need to worry about, Soph.”
“Well- yeah, but I’m your friend,” Sophie replied. “Regardless of what is- or, like isn’t- happening between us.”
“Well, I- I guess I’m just missing Jade more than ever,” Amy sighed. “I mean, like, I can talk it through, even with Jade herself, and six hours later I’ll just be miserable yet again. It- it’ll be fine, honestly. Covid won’t last forever, and when I’m able to see Jade again, I will.”
“…But you’ll still have to play the part of her aunt, not her father?” Sophie asked quietly, frowning as her friend began to slowly weep.
“It feels like I keep going round in circles,” Amy moaned. “At least- heh. At least we’ve got our ‘thing’ sorted out, that’s something.” Sophie smiled as she pulled her friend in for a hug, which Amy was only too grateful to receive. “But, well, even that’s going to change, heh. Six hours from now we won’t be colleagues anymore, will we?”
“…Probably not,” Sophie sighed. “And I’ve got to admit, I- there’s a large part of me that’s going to miss it. But, like we found out, we can’t turn back the clock. Not that- not that I’d change anything. Y- you?”
“A million things,” Amy chuckled tiredly. “Me and you are one of those things but I- if this is how things end up, then I’m happy, I guess.”
“Me too,” Sophie said, exchanging another hug with her friend. “And if we- if we never get, like, ‘true closure’, I- I’m happy with that, too. We’re still friends, and that’s the important thing.”
“Yep,” Amy whispered, before chuckling. “Now come on and drink down your coffee, we’ve got an airport to go to.”
“Umm… ‘we’?” Sophie asked. “I thought you didn’t have any more flights this week?”
“You really think we’ll let you do this alone?” Amy asked with a smile as Sophie finished her morning beverage, smiling herself as she headed through to the bathroom to prepare for the morning ahead.
With her head still throbbing from her hangover and the heat of the August morning, Sophie strode through the employee section of Heathrow airport clad in the blue uniform that had become like a second skin to her- even the matching facemask that covered her nose and mouth. Flanking her either side were her two flatmates, the two women who were closer to her than any friend she had ever made. Nonetheless, Sophie still felt a twinge of nerves as she knocked on her manager’s office door.
“Entrer,” Marie said, smiling sadly behind her desk’s Perspex screen as Sophie entered. “Amy, Hayley, I know that you three are of the same household, but for covid rules you must please remain outside.”
“Fair enough,” Hayley whispered sadly, before giving Sophie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Good luck.”
“We’ll be right outside the whole time,” Amy whispered. “Together in spirit at least, heh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie said, giving both of her friend’s hands a gentle squeeze before entering the office and taking a seat. “Th- thanks for agreeing to see me. I have this for you.” Sophie smiled sadly behind her mask as she slid a carefully typed letter underneath the screen on the desk.
“I do not need to ask what this letter says, do I?” Marie asked, nodding as Sophie shook her head. “It is okay, and it is expected. The managers senior to me have not made contact about the book, I think that maybe even they do not know it exists. But they will know soon enough.”
“Alicia?” Sophie asked, earning a tired chuckle and eye roll from her boss.
“She is a hard worker, that is perhaps unfair,” Marie retorted. “But perhaps not inaccurate either. Regardless, it is not her job that we are here to discuss, but yours. How much notice have you put in your letter?”
“Two weeks,” Sophie replied. “But the work I’m going to be doing is technically self-employed and I can do it all from home, and it’s not like there are a lot of shifts to go around right now, so-“
“So, you have already flown on your final flight as a Soixante-Trois employee,” Marie said, smiling as she sensed the sadness in Sophie’s eyes.
“…I dunno why I’m getting so emotional,” Sophie chuckled. “I only intended to stay with the airline for six months, and it’s been three years, heh.”
“I suppose that it will always be an important part of your life,” Marie mused.
“More important than you could ever know,” Sophie said wistfully. “But- anyway. What is it I need to do?”
“We just need you to leave your uniform in your locker and take home all of your personal belongings,” Marie replied. “You shall get your final pay on the normal day and the confirmation that your job has ended in the post in the next coming days.”
“And- heh, that’s it, then?” Sophie asked.
“Oui, that, as you say, is it,” Marie said. “Just return your locker key and your pass to me when you have emptied the locker and- well, I imagine I shall see you again, at least for my sister’s birthday if we are allowed to have parties again soon. But not again at work, heh.”
“Well- it’s been a pleasure,” Sophie said, smiling sadly as she removed her blue pillbox hat, straightened her skirt and headed out into the corridor, where her flatmates were waiting for her.
“So?” Hayley asked hesitantly. “How did it go?”
“Fine,” Sophie replied with a shrug. “I just need to return my uniform and my other work stuff and- well, that’s that. I am officially no longer a stewardess.” Sophie smiled as her two friends leaned in for a group hug, which Sophie was only too grateful to receive.
“But you’ll always be Team ASH,” Hayley whispered. “Do you- do you need a hand clearing out your locker?”
“Umm, I hardly have anything in there,” Sophie chuckled. “Just a few changes of underwear, a couple of pairs of tights, some make-up- heh. The ‘usual stuff’.”
“That wouldn’t have been ‘usual’ three years ago?” Amy asked gently, chuckling as her flatmate nodded. “I get it. Well- it’s normal now, heh!”
“We should do something to mark the occasion,” Hayley said. “Like, celebrate your ‘first day of freedom’ or something.”
“Yeah, I- I’m still recovering from yesterday’s ‘celebration’!” Sophie chuckled. “But I appreciate it. Besides which, when I get home I might have a hundred different TV companies asking me for interviews about my new book- and THAT’s something worth celebrating!”
“Which we also did last night,” Amy reminded her friend. “But anyway, while we’re in uniform, maybe one last ‘Team ASH’ selfie? In uniform, I mean, we DID change into them, might as well make the most of it?”
“Now that’s something I can definitely agree to,” Sophie chuckled as Amy took her phone out of her bag and took the photo, which was quickly circulated on all three women’s social media accounts.
A few minutes later, Sophie entered the locker room, her heart sinking as she found it empty- all of its usual occupants having long since departed on what few flights there were that day. After carefully removing and hanging up her uniform for the final time, Sophie returned her locker key and work pass to Marie and waited for her flatmates to change out of their uniforms before heading home together.
Upon arriving home, Sophie logged onto her email and smiled when she discovered several glowing reviews of her new book, along with several requests for interviews from blogs, websites and even some television and radio stations. Every single email was addressed ‘to Sophie’ rather than ‘to James’ or ‘to Sophie/James’, but the brown-haired writer didn’t mind- to her, it was validation that no matter how 'Sophie' began, or even how she'd felt about 'Sophie' to begin with, her identity as a woman was valid. And while Sophie found herself longing for someone who could be more than just a friend, she knew that despite how complicated things had been between them, she had and would always have the two best friends a girl could ever have in Amy and Hayley- even if they would no longer see each other at work anymore. However, while Sophie was uncertain about what her future would hold, she knew one thing for certain- with the help of her friends, it would be a positive one, no matter the global situation.
However, while Sophie was responding to queries about her book, unbeknownst to her, in the living room Amy and Hayley were also responding to an email- one from the flight attendants’ union warning that because of the very same global situation, their jobs might not be as secure as they’d previously thought…
