I came out to my mother last night

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I came out to my mother last night. I'm am currently on holiday with her and her "boyfriend". She's 84 and he's 88!

He has had his driving license taken away, she will only drive very short distances. My brother won't take them as they can be frustrating to say the least. We spent most of yesterday trying to get second hand walking sticks as they had left their's at home.

Her boyfriend hates Indiana food. I and my mother love it. We went out fo a meal and she was discussing my dead father. She couldn't understand why he had affairs. She went into detail that she used to dress in sexy underwear, never turned him down for sex etc. The conversation continued in the car on the way back.

She said I was very easy to talk to and it was odd that she could discuss things like this with me. She said that my father wore her underwear often.

It was there on a plate for me. I paused and said .

"That might explain a few things."

I told her then that I go away on my own so I can dress completely. She asked lots of questions then said.

"Good for you. You're not hurting anyone."

She asked for details of when it started and when I did it. Told me to be careful as men beat up other men that do that. I think in her head she imagined her son with no wig or makeup striding up and down the street. I got lots of hugs. She asked me where I kept my clothes, and asked aren't you worried about getting caught. I explained I was doing nothing illegal. I showed her the box in my boot full of catalogs ( the first 2 inches are the other 14 inches are Leeanna wraped in plastic bags. Such is the life of a closet wannabe like me)

She advised me not to tell my boys or my brother. Although I honestly think my oldest would be fine. The younger generation encounter LGBT at lot more often now.

Later that night inthe apatment, her chap went to bed and I showed her some face pics. She couldn't believe they were me. She said you look so happy, and asked did I want to be a woman. I told her since 5 years old probably, but I'm not planning to do anything about it soon.

More hugs and she stold me I'm happy for you. She asked why I trusted her with my secret. I told her I knew you loved me unconditionally.

Some odd things though. The revaltion about my father. Could it be genetic? He screamed the house down when my younger brother wore eyeliner once,he was a punk rocker. He screamed at 5 year old me when he found me trying on mum's stuff.

One other thing my mother told me she always wore sexy underwear for my father, she said she still does wear it she hates plain cotton. I wonder if I got the love of fancy pants from her?

What this means going forward, well nothing except I feel a closer bond to her.I'm sure next time we are alone she'll ask me a lot more.

She always wanted a daughther she told me. Perhaps I was the one that got away.

Comments

That's WonderfuL!!!

laika's picture

It always makes me happy when a coming out story goes like this.
It reminds me that not every parent is a spiteful close-minded shitbag.
Like one of my stories concluded "Sometimes real life will fool you..."
~hugs, Veronica

.
"Government will only recognize 2 genders, male + female,
as assigned at birth-" (In his own words:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1lugbpMKDU

Thanks Veronica, I wrote this

leeanna19's picture

Thanks Veronica, I wrote this just before I had a shower. When I got back to my room to get changed she had put 2 pairs of knickers on top of my underwear, in the drawer. I changed and she winked at me when I came out. She can't say much because he fella is here. I'm sure if she comes away with me on my own we can spend some of the day together as mother and daughter. She is a very young 84. Anyone who sees her picture thinks early 60's. She was mistaken for my wife when We took my childeren out 20 years ago.

While we were out her fella was taking ages in the loo. She asked me about makeup and gave me advice about my eyes.

I waiting for someone to pinch me. I'm not going to push it though. It's just nice that she knows and is ok with it.

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Leeanna

Very pleased it went well

You can never be 100% sure how someone will react when told. I had some surprises, although _most_ reacted as expected, good and bad. Many were concerned that I was "ruining my life", it was around 1990 so not exactly mainstream in those days.

Your mum sounds like one of the good ones.

Alison

Thanks Alison. What she said

leeanna19's picture

Thanks Alison. What she said about my father made me sure she'd be ok. We do have frank discussions.

She used to ask with gay guys. "which one is the woman?" I expalined the whole reason was there wasn't a woman. What she meant was she assumed that one was always botton during "bottom" sex. I explained there was a whole range of things they could do.

I think she enjoys keeping a very personal secret, and will possibly enjoy passing on feminine advice. As I said she always wanted a daughter. She and her sister had 7 boys between them trying for a girl.

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Leeanna

Honey, I'm so happy!

To use one of my favorite quotes. I wish I had had the courage to do that with my Dad before he passed. I truly believe he would have been happy for me.

Congrats on your mom's acceptance

Patricia Marie Allen's picture

It reminds me of my dad. I should have known better, because three times he was confronted with my cross-dressing and did or said nothing about me not doing it. But I still was concerned about how he might react so I spent my time in stealth, not letting on that it was a regular occurrence. Finally when he was 80 I decided to come out to him. I did it in kind of an in your face manor. I just showed up on his doorstep dressed. He took looked me up and down and invited me in. After that it was our usual visit. From then on when I stopped by I was always dressed. You'd have thought that all sons went to visit their dads wearing women's clothes and make up.

It's a great feeling to have your parents accept you as you are. Congratulations again.

Hugs
Patricia

Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann

After we dropped her guy off

leeanna19's picture

After we dropped her guy off she asked me what dress size I was and how I managed to wash my clothes. I wear them so infrequently. I don't have to wash them often.. I think she will let me store them at her house. That would be a load off my mind.

I would love to go away with her so she can spend a few hours with her daughter. She told me she'd call me Margaret, but then said it was too old fashioned. I'm going to let her choose. I just wish I'd done this earlier.

This has gone so well i'm still a little shocked.

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Leeanna

Telling Mom

I'm glad it worked well for you. It's a great feeling when your parents accept you, especially Mom.

I have two brothers and two sisters, but I'm the birdy that never left the nest. In my 50s now. About 20 years ago, my mom found my "stash" and we had a tearful confession, where she was very accepting, and after that she even bought me undies and a few nightgowns (that felt GREAT to finally sleep in). I don't know if she ever told Dad, but I wasn't worried even if she did. He wasn't the macho asshat type. I would describe him as the "quietly masculine" sort. Very manly, strong old fashioned work ethic, rarely complained, but also didn't need to push how manly he was in everyone's face like those swaggering macho types. Unfortunately we lost him two years ago (not Covid).

So it's just me and Mom now. As their health got worse over the last 15 years, I've had to do more to take up the slack, but I don't mind; my parents have done so much for me, especially when my depression got bad. But about 5 years ago, we started seeing early signs of dementia in Mom, and the last few years, it's gotten really bad. Moodwise, she's usually pretty upbeat, and I do my best to keep her happy, but there are bad days too. Her day to day memory is pretty shot and she doesn't remember previous days, and remembering things from years ago is pretty hit and miss (more miss lately). So she doesn't remember my "feminine side" anymore, and has been surprised anew if she sees me folding my panties when doing my laundry, or saying something more feminine than most sons say, or come down in a nighty, or comment how much I love that dress on TV... so it's led to me basically "coming out" to her about 25 times now. :-P Most times she takes it well. A few times, not so much...

Life is full of unexpected things, isn't it?

That's both happy and sad

leeanna19's picture

That's both happy and sad Lisa. I'm glad you were accepted, but it's sad you have to keep coming out to your mother. It's heartbreaking what our bodies do to some of us as we get older. My mother is "all there" apart from daft old people idea's she has. Forgets little things, but so do I.

I just hope she doesn't go out and buy me lots of clothes. She even asked me if I wanted to go all the way. I would not even consider that until I retire. I couldn't do that to my wife anyway. I just feel a sense of relief that someone know and is not disgusted

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Leeanna