Chapter 4 - Annie And The Angel

I wore my new print dress home at Kate's insistence - she thinks that having a sister could be fun. Dad and Sam did some silly grunting and chest pounding thing when we got home to prove how great their men's night out was, but we sophisticated women just ignored the gorillas in the living room. We women had better things to do, like finish my homework and go to bed; after all it was a school night. Looking back as an adult having to go to bed so early shocks me, but back then I really did need the sleep. That school bus came awful early.

Thursday was a normal school day, but a bit frustrating. I wanted to tell someone about my new dress, but who could I tell? I didn't really have a 'best friend' who I could tell all my secrets to. Even if I did I don't think there would be too many eleven year old boys who would get excited about me getting a dress. Two dresses, even.

The teasing about playing Annie on stage had just about died down by Thursday. I wasn't about to give anyone more ammunition, so I just shut up and tried to learn whatever the teachers were trying to teach.

I did look at the dresses when I got home, but left them in the closet. I tried on the blue bra just for fun, but put it back in the drawer.

The performances on Friday and Saturday were sellouts, word had gotten around. I had even gotten my picture in the paper sitting on Daddy Warbuck's knee while FDR gazed paternally upon the perky orphan and her adoptive father. I had to laugh because FDR was my real adoptive father and I didn't know Daddy Warbucks all that well.

The Sunday matinee was our most enthusiastic audience yet, we all got some great energy from the audience and I felt like I was singing better than I ever had. We got three curtain calls and I got a forth one all by myself. I would gladly have been Annie for the rest of my life after all that.

In a way I got a start at being that Annie because it was Annie Loesser who emerged from the dressing room in her deep blue dress, ready to go out with our potential Angel. Kate helped me get ready and I even brushed her hair for her. It really did feel like we were sisters, sharing something very special that we never had as Danny.

Our angels were Ralph and Liz Pennington, who were big in Real Estate in town. Dad had to tell me just what Real Estate was, I knew the words but they didn't make sense to me.

The Real part comes from the Latin Realis, meaning existing and true. Real was Middle English legalese for immovable property - like a house - as opposed to personal property - like clothing or furniture.

The Estate part comes from the Latin or French word status for status or condition combined with the French estat, which means to stand. Which is just a fancy say of saying Real Estate is the land and the buildings on it.

Sometimes asking dad questions gets you more than you bargained for.

So that's how I found out our Angels bought and sold properties. They also owned apartment buildings and warehouses and stuff like that, which didn't mean too much to me at the time. I did understand they had money and wanted to give some of it to the theatre, which meant I could be up on stage acting.

I didn't really mind if they thought I was a real girl, I was starting to wonder if maybe I was more girl than boy. I had no idea how lucky I was to live in a family and community that was LGBTQ friendly, although in later life I found out how unusual that was.

But back to the dinner. We walked into the door of Cibo Matto, which sounds really fancy and foreign but is really Italian for Crazy Food. I was really expanding my vocabulary going out to dinner that Sunday. It was an Italian restaurant and pizzeria, which made me remember Mom's warning about tomato sauce and nice dresses. I was going to have to be very careful.

Dad held the door for us women and gave me an ironic bow as I entered. Mr and Mrs Pennington were there to meet us and I got my hand shaken by Mr Pennington and an air kiss from Mrs Pennington. I found out I was absolutely adorable in my new dress, Kate was a beautiful young woman and Mom was simply ravishing.

Here I thought we were supposed to be buttering them up, not the other way around. I guess you've figured out by now I was a rather cynical child. But absolutely adorable, right?

Actually, it didn't take long for Mr Ralph Penning to become Mr P, he was that kind of guy. I had to hide the snicker that came automatically at the name Mr P. I was, after all, a eleven-year-old boy despite my pretty dress; toilet humor was still funny to me.

I was surprised by Mr. P, he wasn't anything like the rich guys I had in my head. On TV and in books, Rich Guys were usually the villain, the one who had to learn his lesson in order to become a decent human being. Just think of Scrooge - I did play Tiny Tim when I was younger. Then there was the Grinch.

Mr P was kind of like talking to your Grandpa, and yes - I did consider my adoptive parent's parents to be my grandparents. He drew all of us kids out while we were eating, not just me. I could tell he was just as in love with the theatre as I was and we had a great time.

After we had finished dessert he hit us with the big surprise. He did offer the theatre some nice financing (they didn't talk dollars in front of us kids, though) but Mr P gets this serious look and looks at me.

"Annie, did you know I'm on the board of the Ursuline Academy?"

Ursuline Academy was the exclusive all-girl school in the town.

"Uh, no. I didn't." I stammered.

"We're always looking for talented young women to attend the Academy and I would hope you might consider becoming one of our students next semester."

And that's where things got sticky. Way beyond what any eleven year old boy who is just discovering his feminine side would be able to cope with. Mom and Dad were blindsided and Kate was trying hard not to burst out laughing. Sam - he was just Sam, not really paying attention to what was being said.

"I don't know anything about your family finances, but we do offer scholarships to qualified and promising students such as yourself, Annie. Money would not be a problem."

He went on to extol the virtues of the Ursuline Academy and how it would benefit a fine young woman like myself. Me? In a girl's school?

This gave Mom and Dad some time to recover and, when Mr P had finished, Mom said "Ralph, there is something you should know before we go any further. Annie is transgendered."

Now that was a conversation stopper. It was the first time I had heard that word in my life. I picked up on the 'gender' part of it so I figured it had something to do with me not being a real girl, but I wasn't about to ask for a definition right then.

"Well I'll be damned!" said Mr P.

"You probably will, but remember there are children present, Ralph." admonished Mrs P.

"Oh. Sorry. I had no idea."

"Which is just as it should be," answered Dad. "Annie is exactly who she needs to be and that's just fine with us. What other people think might affect us, but it will not make us reconsider how much we love and support Annie."

"Which is exactly the kind of attitude we want to instill in the students at Ursuline. Annie would not be our first transgender student, nor will she be our last."

I was still wondering what transgender meant.

"Obviously we would have to talk this over with the family, so we can't give you an answer right now."

"Nor would I expect you to. Check out our web site so you can get an idea of what Ursuline is all about. I can arrange for you to talk to other students and parents if you like. We wouldn't want you going into this without knowing everything you can."

"We appreciate that, Ralph," answered Dad. "It's a very generous offer and it needs serious consideration."

"Then take your time and give me a call if you have questions or are ready to give me an answer."

"We will."

When we got back to the car, Dad looked at Mom and said "Well, I didn't see that coming!"

"You and me both. I suppose that includes Annie, too."

"Dad? What's transgender mean?"

"In your case it means you think you are a girl who was born in a boy's body. Transgendered people usually want to make changes in their body so they look and feel more like the person they want to be. Many will have surgery to change their genitals. Most will take hormones that will let their body develop as the think it should. Men will take female hormones that will let them grow breasts and widen their hips. Women will take testosterone so they grow beards and help their body develop more like a man's. If the woman has breasts she might have them surgically removed. It's a very complicated subject.

"So am I transgendered?"

"Only you can decide that, Annie, and you don't have to decide right away. You seem to have enjoyed being a girl for the last few weeks, but that's certainly not long enough to decide to change your whole life."

"I guess."

"Honey, I don't think any of us were ready to think about you going to a girl's school, let alone trying to be a girl for the rest of your life."

"It sounds crazy!" piped up Sam.

"Not crazy, there are people who need to make these changes in order to be happy and live a full life. It's something you're born with, like being tall or short or being gay. Things that are not right or wrong, nor are they crazy or sane. They just are."

"I don't know…"

"It isn't easy, Sam. Don't worry, as you grow up you'll be able to understand."

"If you say so."

"I do say so. Don't worry, son."

"And you don't worry either, Annie. Things are going to work out fine."

"I wonder what it would be like to go to a girl's school?"

"Couldn't tell you, kid," answered Mom. "I went to a plain old regular school with boys and everything."

"Me either, squirt," smirked Kate. "I wouldn't want to go to a school without any boys. Borrr-ingggg!"

"We aren't going to figure this out tonight, so let's just do whatever you need to do tonight. Remember, school day tomorrow."

"Borrr-ingggg!"

Monday morning was anything but boring when Dad started reading the newspaper at breakfast. His eyes kind of bugged out and he said "Danny! Wait till you read this review!"

"What review, Dad?"

"The theatre critic reviewed yesterday's performance and you're going to be amazed."

He handed me the paper and I read:

I have to apologize to my readers that family responsibilities kept me out of town for the past two weeks, which meant I was unable to review the Periactus Players production of Annie while you could still see the show. I did make it to the final performance and it certainly upholds the traditional high standards of this amateur group of players. I have to apologize for using the word 'amateur' because, while all the players do this for the love of it, they certainly are professionals in every sense of the word.
 
Producing a show like Annie, where the entire production is dependant on the talents of a child, is always a gamble. In this case, the entire cast should immediately board a plane for Las Vegas because they have shown themselves to be very professional gamblers, as well as actors.
 
Young Annie Loesser simply shines as Annie, curly red hair and retro red dress and all. Her timing is impeccable, her range of emotion as the scrappy orphan becomes the darling of Franklin D Roosevelt is amazing and her voice is perfect for the role. This young lady has quite a future as an actress.
 
It seems that she comes by her talent honestly, the entire Loesser family was represented in the cast. I'm just sorry I couldn't interview this paragon, but I'm sure that we will see more of her in the future.

There was more, praising the entire company, but I was amazed that this guy thought I was actually a girl. After all, we didn't actually hide that I am a boy, but we didn't scream it to the hills either. Jeez - first an invitation to an all girl's school, then I'm a famous actress at eleven.

I was starting to wonder if the Universe was trying to tell me something.