The Joiners pt 7.

by
Angharad
Cary followed his mother into the dining room, his father watched him enter trying to take on board what Penny had said happened at the doctor's. Cary felt his eyes moistening and it was all he could do to stay there, the urge to flee back to his room almost overwhelming him. He could only wait for his father to say something, anything, he could only react, he couldn't initiate anything, his body simply froze and he felt the tears well up and then start to run gently down his face. He was hypersensitive, feeling the warmth on the salty water cooling as it dripped off his chin. No one said anything, then as if in slow motion his dad opened his arms and Cary threw himself into them, they wrapped around him and he could hold back the emotion no longer and he sobbed, his body convulsing with the depth of emotion he released.

He felt unable to stop for several minutes, he was safe, protected and yet terrified at the same time. No one said anything, his mother and his sister embraced each other both overcome by the intensity of the moment. None of them had expected any of this to happen and they had become swept up in the maelstrom as it developed.

If a couple of days before, someone had suggested that Rob Carpenter would be holding the sobbing body of his fourteen year old son, who was dressed as a girl, he'd have thought them mad. Yet this was the reality. His worst imaginings had been realised, according to his wife, Cary now Carrie, had told their family doctor he wanted to be a girl, not only that he'd told his mother that he had always been a girl. Nothing in his previous experience had provided Rob with the knowledge of how to deal with it. He wasn't an emotional man, rather a deliberate and considerate one, always trying to keep his cool and trying to understand what others may be feeling, looking for solutions rather than erupting in temper.

When his son, dressed and acting like a girl had first appeared he'd taken it on board quietly. It was a temporary thing with a definite objective. He didn't understand how a boy could want to do that, but he gave Cary the benefit of the doubt. He expressed his doubts about the risks involved and wondered if they were worth the possible dangers, including exploitation by others, especially when he heard his son sing. He had the same magical quality to his voice that Karen Carpenter had possessed and there would be plenty who'd want to grow rich on exploiting it without any thought about the teenager producing the wonderful sounds.

He'd stood as his son, yes, his son, albeit looking and acting like a daughter, had entered the room and the tension had built so that no one could say anything to break it. He watched his child wrestling with his emotions and tears began to run down his face, he could stand the pain no longer and just felt he had to wrap this bundle of agony in his arms and protect it like any parent would.

The child flew into his arms and convulsed into tears sobbing and seemingly unable to stop, Rob simply stood there and held him firmly but gently, covering him in love the only thing he had to offer the hurting body. He didn't know what else to do and he felt tears in his own eyes as the tension in the room began to slowly abate.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," said a very quiet voice but everyone heard it so taut were their nerves.

"You've nothing to be sorry about, kiddo," said his father now able to move enough to rub his child's back as the tension ebbed from it. Penny handed them some tissues and he gave them to Carrie. Was it Carrie or Cary? Did it matter, it was his child whatever name he or she answered to? An equally quiet thanks emerged from the red faced, red eyed, washed out bundle of emotion he still held.

"I told the doctor I was a girl," said the little voice which began to sob again.

Rob held the weeping child, "It's okay, no need to get upset."

"But you're disappointed in me, aren't you?" said the little voice dripping with emotion.

"Not at all, if that is how you feel, you must speak your truth. I'd only be disappointed if you didn't, and didn't share your trouble with your mum and me. We love you and will always try to help you."

"I know," said the voice and more weeping followed.

"Look, why don't we all sit down and have a cuppa?" said Penny trying to rescue her husband as well as her younger child before they both drowned or dissolved in the all the tears being produced.

"I'll put the kettle on," said Tara and fled to the kitchen. It seemed ironic to her that kitchens were supposed to be the place you fled from when they got too hot, not dining rooms. Oh well, her family had to do things differently.

She had been surprised at what Cary had told the doctor rather than shocked, he'd taken to being a girl for the competition like the proverbial duck to water, although he'd shown some initial reluctance, it had soon faded and he became Carrie with that amazing voice. No wonder he did, if underneath he was really a girl. Then while the kettle boiled she wondered if he really had fancied Macey or just wanted to be seen as the geek who could pull a real stunner who was actually older than him. The credibility he had in school would fly through the roof amongst his peers. Was that why he said he'd do it, pretend to be a girl? Or was part of him just looking for an opportunity to emerge? Boy, was all this complicated, and would he now be able to compete at the karaoke? She wanted to protect her investment but also realised that her sister was in some distress and she'd felt the depth of emotion when it h appened. That was quite scary but her dad just engulfed it in his strong arms and contained it. He was pretty cool, her dad.

When Tara took the tea through into the dining room, Carrie was sitting on her dad's lap and he had an arm wrapped around her, protecting her. She looked absolutely washed out.

The whole family talked and listened. The doctor had told Cary to continue dressing as a girl unless he felt he wanted to stop, so they agreed that's what she would do. For the moment, Cary had gone and she was now Carrie and a girl. What happened after half term they weren't quite sure but the important thing was to show support and solidarity with Carrie. Tara had no problem with that, in fact she'd enjoyed having a sister again, like when they were younger and Cary became Carrie while they played with dolls and held tea parties for them. It was something that was kept secret by the family as they assumed it was just a game the children played and it seemed as if Cary had grown out of it.

Penny had done some research and was going to contact one or two charities and helplines for further advice the next day. It had astonished both Carrie and Tara when Rob had asked if Carrie had enough clothes for the moment? Of course they said no and he told them he'd give them a hundred pounds for the morning.

"You really need a coat, girl," said Tara to her sister, "and some boots, it's going to get colder quite soon."

"Okay, okay, two hundred but that's it," said Rob knowing he'd been played and both his daughters kissed him and went up to bed laughing.

Penny stood in front of her husband and held out her hand, "Where's my prezzie, then?" she asked chuckling.

"I don't know if I can afford three females in his house," sighed Rob.

"You will, because you love us all," she kissed him and put her arm around him.

"Yeah, but it's a big bad world out there and I'm scared for innocents like Carrie, she is so vulnerable and life is going to be extra hard for her."

"Tara will help to protect her, as will we but it would have been even harder if she had suppressed this inner girl any longer, who knows what might have triggered it, exams at university or even A-levels. At least we can help her grow into the role before she becomes independent."

"I fear for her, Pen, like I do for the thousands like her around the world, having a trans child has suddenly opened my eyes to the dangers and the sometimes nasty people out there."

"I know, sweetheart, but we're going to do our best for her. Come on let's go to bed, I'll finish washing up in the morning, you look shattered."

He yawned, "Yeah, I am, how can people deal with this for a living?"

"They try to avoid an emotional involvement, they're our children, so we need to have one, but you did really well and all of us love you for it," Penny kissed her husband and despite their emotional tiredness, they went to bed and made slow gentle love, affirming their relationship and their commitment to each other and their children, they both slept like logs.

Tara slept quite well after her chat with Macey who was blown away by Carrie's coming out to the doctor but she promised not to tell anyone, even her brother suggesting that he would miss his old friend.

Carrie, because Cary had now departed this place, lay in bed weeping quietly listening to the voice which seemed to have started it all, and he felt the pain in some of the songs. He'd learned that Karen had had a difficult life and relationships for her had never quite worked, but then being a super star, would never help anything intimate because you'd always wonder if people liked you or what they could get from you.

She eventually fell into a restless sleep, at times seeing herself as Karen enjoying performing but unhappy with her family and other people. She then saw herself in a dream walking with her parents and Tara and knowing that they did love her and they always would and she slept more deeply, the earpieces falling out as she slept.

The next morning, Carrie awoke to her mother coming to check on her. Her eyes were all gummed up from crying and she had to lick her finger and rub them before they'd open properly.

"I'm sorry I was such a baby last night, what will Daddy think about me? He must think I'm a real cry baby."

"He doesn't, he's obviously very worried about you but he is committed to helping and protecting you as much as he can."

"What am I going to do when school starts? I don't think I can be Cary anymore."

"I'll speak to Judy Herring, later on, she should have the blood results or some of them and she might be able to give us some advice. Until then, I can't say what will happen but you may have to return to school as Cary for a short time until we can arrange something else for you. I'm not sure returning to the same school as Carrie would be a particularly good idea, do you?"

"I don't know, Mummy," she shrugged, "I don't know what came over me last night but I really don't feel I could bear to be a boy again."

"Well, let's just deal with one day at a time shall we?"

Carrie accepted her mother's counsel and was told to hurry into the shower and come down for breakfast, they'd sort her hair afterwards. She was told to wash her hair and to come down with a towel wrapped around it. She got out of bed and showered, feeling the water wash away her problems as her mother had suggested and feeling it driving in a positive energy. She sang, Top of the world to try and make herself feel easier, it helped a bit. After dressing she made a turban with the towel and went downstairs where her mother had made her a boiled egg with toast soldiers. Normally she cut her own out of a slice of toast but she realised her mother was spoiling her and she smiled when she saw them.

While Carrie was eating her breakfast the doorbell rang and a package was delivered and she was now the proud possessor of some decent breast forms and a padded panty which meant her shape under clothes would be much more like most of her female contemporaries. As soon as she'd finished eating, they'd played around with the breast forms and soon had the double-sided tape attached to her natural breast area and the back of the falsies as the instructions suggested this provided a more natural breast especial when moving and there was less chance of them falling out of the bra. The panty padding gave Carrie a bigger bum and wider hips but she felt it would soon get rather warm and her mother agreed, her bum was probably big enough to look quite realistic and the padded panty should be kept for when she wore something very fitted.

The girls were upstairs, Tara giving Carrie more makeup and hairstyling lessons when the phone rang. It was Dr Herring and Penny took the call in the study, shutting the door after her.

"Pen, Carrie needs to see an endocrinologist pretty quickly, her androgens are half what they should be and she has a raised oestrogen level. She's not secretly taking anything is she?"

"Not that I'm aware of, and I doubt she's stupid enough to try anything like that without your advice."

"Check with her, I'm trying to chase down an appointment with an endo. Ring me back, say in an hour." Penny agreed and went to find the girls who were in Tara's room giggling and laughing.

Penny brought Carrie out of the room and they went into her room, she hoped that would make it easier to tell if Carrie was not being honest. "Carrie, I need you to answer me in complete honesty, will you promise to do so?"

What's going on? I haven't killed anyone. "Of course, I will, what's this about?"

"Have you taken anything in the way of hormones, including herbal stuff?"

"What? Course not."

"According to Judy, you have the hormone levels of a pre-pubertal girl."

"What's that mean, prepubal?"

"It means pre-puberty. In puberty, you get an increase in hormones which start production of secondary sexual characteristics, like breasts in women and facial hair in men."

"So I am a girl," she shouted with glee, "I knew I was."

"Uh, not so hasty, girl until we see an expert on hormones and what is happening in your body, we don't really know."

"But I'm not a boy, am I?"

"Not one of your average ones, no."

"So my voice isn't going to break."

"I don't know, sweetheart, that's why we need to see this special doctor, Judy is trying to organise an appointment as soon as possible."

"I knew I was really a girl, I just knew it," Carrie ran off to tell Tara the news, tears of elation filling her eyes as she dashed into her sister's room.

Penny sat on the dressing table stool and sent a text to Rob. ' C's hormone levels like a girl's. GP making urgent appt with endocrinologist. Pxxx'

A minute later she received the text, 'OK go private if it helps. Rx' She looked at the text and she felt love for her husband, he was such a considerate man who loved all his family.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEW0OgK832Q