Mommy Milkers - A F1nn5ter Fanfic

by MonicaS

F1nn5ter is the online handle of a real person, a 21-year-old crossdressing streamer who accepts challenges from his audience and gets donations in return. One recurring challenge is a girl month. F1nn5ter then has to wear some makeup, perfume, breast forms, and female clothes every day. Another challenge resulted in his male clothes locked in a box for over a year, leaving only female and unisex items available. When dressed as a woman, he uses the name Rose while his real name is Jude.

The pictures show F1nn5ter.

This story is a hypothetical future based on F1nn5ter's life, including fictional characters.

* * *

I finally managed to do one of the challenges I promised to do but never found time for: I went shopping with my younger sister Ruby while dressed as Rose.

I was browsing through clothes racks while Ruby recorded evidence on her phone when a sales assistant approached me.

"Hello, Miss, can I help you?"

"No, thank you, I'm just ...," I started, but then I recognized her as Katie, one of the girls I went to school with. We actually had a short fling, but it didn't work out. My emotions were a bit of a rollercoaster. On the one hand, it was nice to see her again. We remained friends after we broke up, and I still had some feelings for her. On the other hand, I was afraid of how she'd react if she recognized me.

"You look familiar. Do I know you?" Katie wondered. "Oh my god, you're Jude. Look at you, so pretty. I wouldn't have recognized you if it weren't for your voice."

"Um, thank you. I'm working on my voice, but it's so hard," I replied and blushed. I had started professional voice training but hadn't made much progress yet.

"I remember how I put makeup on you as you always looked so cute," Katie reminisced, "I never thought you'd become a woman, though."

"I ... I'm not really a woman. I'm just crossdressing."

"Oh, you're quite dedicated then. Your makeup looks much better than what I did years ago, and the wig doesn't look cheap."

"Actually, that's my real hair," I replied.

"Oops, sorry. How long did it take to grow it out? A year?"

"Actually, closer to two years."

"Two years? That's real dedication. Are you sure it's just crossdressing?" Katie asked.

I groaned. I got questions like that way too often. I'm really not that into it and don't want to live as a woman.

"He just does it for the money," Ruby interjected. "At least that's what she tells everybody."

"Oh, hi," Katie said after turning to Ruby. "Aren't you Jude's sister? You've grown up. I remember you as a little girl. Nice that you support your sister."

"Yeah, It's not a big deal," my sister replied. "It's just like Dad once said: At least he isn't boring. I don't get to see him that often anymore since he moved into his own house that he bought from all the money that he makes with his crossdressing."

"How do you make money from crossdressing?" Katie asked me.

I then told Katie about how I make my money with Minecraft videos and that my crossdressing started just as a lark that got out of hand. But as a good businessman, I saw the opportunity and got a second source of income by streaming crossdressed. Sometimes with absurd amounts of donations. I actually made more money that way than through Minecraft recently.

"I have to admit, though," I concluded, "that I have quite some fun sometimes and that I get many more compliments dressed as a woman."

"So you bought your own house?" Katie asked. "I wish I could afford that. Actually, my apartment lease has been terminated, and I'm looking for a new place. But I can't find anything I can afford. I'm studying and work here part-time only, so money is tight."

"Jude has a spare room," Ruby offered cheekily. "And no girlfriend."

"Ruby!" I exclaimed. Ruby often teased me about my lack of a girlfriend. It's not that I had no choice. I just didn't find the right one. It's sometimes hard as a public person. And no, I don't want a boyfriend. I wondered what would happen if Katie actually moved into my house. I had more space than I needed, so at least that wouldn't be a problem. But I liked my privacy.

"I still have two weeks left, but then I'll probably have to do some couch surfing until I find something permanent," Katie explained.

I felt bad now. I could sacrifice my privacy for some weeks. It was okay too when my friend Meowriza stayed with me. I just couldn't walk around naked or keep my stuff lying around everywhere anymore. So I told Katie, "Even if Ruby was a bit forward by offering you a room, she's actually correct. So if you need it, you could stay with me for some time. Let me give you my phone number, so you can contact me."

We exchanged our contact data, but then Katie had to continue working. Ruby and I continued shopping but stopped when we reached the lingerie section. I needed a new bra but felt very self-conscious with Katie and other women able to see me handling lingerie. I knew there was no reason, but that's why I usually shopped online. Perhaps I was a wimp after all.

* * *

I got a call from Katie a week later. She didn't find anything and her fallback was suddenly not viable either, so she was out of options. I kept my word and renewed my offer for her to stay in my spare room.

A few days later, Katie moved in with her meager possessions. I certainly had more female clothes than she had.

After a short while, our lives went on as usual for the most part. I did my Minecraft videos and dressed up as Rose for streaming while Katie studied at uni and worked on the weekend and some evenings. I still felt self-conscious when I walked through the house in female clothes, especially when wearing riskier clothes.

I shouldn't worry, of course, as Katie told me she was totally okay with it, and I had no problem when thousands of strangers watched me online like that.

We talked with each other frequently, of course, caught up on our lives since we last saw each other but also talked about our fears and aspirations. So it was more like having a friend stay with me than a stranger.

I asked her about being on stream as keeping her unnoticeable would be hard, and she was okay with occasional appearances. That led to "F1nn5ter has a girlfriend" messages even though I explained her situation and then escalated to "F1nn5ter protests too much." Well, that's chat as we know it.

But banter didn't only come from chat. Once Katie got aware of our assumed relationship, she chimed in with "Oh, sexy, girlfriend" and similar when she saw me dressed up.

"Do you mean that, or are you only teasing me?" I eventually asked.

"What if I mean it?" Katie retorted.

"That depends on if you only like to look or if you want to act too."

"I'm not against some action."

Some action ensured and not only once. Perhaps chat was prophetic in this case.

* * *

"I'm pregnant," Katie announced some months later.

"Oh," I replied, and thousands of thoughts went through my head. 'How could that happen with Katie taking the pill? I want a child eventually, but not now. I'm just 22 years old. Am I ready for a child? It certainly means a lot of responsibility. Does Katie want that child? I am responsible too.'

"Congratulations, I guess," I continued. "Whatever you decide, I'll support you."

"I don't know if I want a baby now," my girlfriend replied. "How could I care for it while I'm studying? I don't want to end university or take a long break now. And I have no money to raise a child."

"I'm mostly at home anyway, so I could care for it while you study. And I earn enough money to support a child."

"Do you know how much time caring for a baby takes?" Katie asked. "You may have quite some free time now, but I doubt you could continue your work as you do now."

"Then we'll hire a nanny."

It took a few days and several discussions, but in the end we decided to keep the baby.

That would result in quite some changes, and I decided to inform my online audience.

"Guys, I have an important announcement to make. Katie is pregnant, and we decided that I'll be the primary caretaker for the baby," I said while streaming some days later.

This caused a storm of messages. Two kinds of messages stood out, questions with consequences that would change my life profoundly.

The first was, "Will you marry her?"

I had thought about that before. In the past, a pregnancy by an unmarried couple regularly led to marriage. But now that wasn't needed anymore. Generally, I wanted to marry eventually, but it had to be a partner with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Was Katie that partner? I made my decision.

Foolish as I was, I announced my decision right away. "Yes, I will marry Katie. That's if she wants me."

The chat erupted, of course, and I realized only then that I'd have to ask Katie soon. Before my announcement on the stream got to her.

The second life-changing question was, "Will you breastfeed your baby?"

"Why and how?" I asked.

I was soon informed that breastfeeding had a lot of advantages and that men could actually breastfeed under certain circumstances. The circumstances would involve female hormones, basically HRT. The thing I over and over said I didn't want.

There are Newman Goldfarb protocols for induced lactation. I'd have to take estrogen and progesterone for about six months, and additionally a drug called domperidone. Then I'd have to stop the hormones and use a breast pump every three hours for six weeks while continuing the domperidone and adding some herbs. It's meant for women but should work on men too.

I had two main reasons why I didn't want HRT. The first was that I valued my fertility and erectile function highly. The second was that I was a guy and would continue living as a guy. Growing breasts would be a hindrance in the future.

My audience tried to convince me again, of course.

"It's only for 6 months."

"Six months won't have lasting consequences for your fertility."

"You'd only grow small breasts in that time."

"How often do you show your bare chest?"

"It's for your baby."

Especially the last point caused me to actually consider it. "But how would I get the hormones and everything? I certainly won't self-medicate. And I have only about seven months until the baby comes."

Of course, somebody in chat knew just the right doctor for it, an endocrinologist sympathetic towards transgender patients who didn't demand referrals from therapists. I'd have to do it privately, of course.

"Okay, I could try it," I conceded, "but that would mean quite some out-of-pocket money."

Chat suggested setting it as a donation goal.

"Hmm, I have to think about that," I said and wondered what my audience would be able to donate quickly, as I wouldn't have much time. "Are you okay with $10,000? I can't promise that I'll go through with it, but then I'll let that spill over into the next girl month."

Chat mostly agreed, and so I set it up.

I've never seen donations come in as quickly before.

* * *

The following days were a whirlwind. I talked with Katie about me breastfeeding, and she had concerns but was okay in principle. Then I set up an appointment with the recommended doctor only a few days later. Money is king, I guess.

Regarding the other life-changer, I got a ring and proposed in a nice restaurant. Katie said yes. The question was, who would wear the dress?

On a more serious note, we discussed how we'd want to marry and who we'd invite. It would be short notice as we wanted to get married before my girlfriend, now fiancée, showed too much, so we had perhaps two months. We decided on only close family and friends, which meant about twelve people. Further planning had to wait until we spoke with everybody involved.

Katie accompanied me for my doctor's visit. As it was a girl month, I dressed up as Rose. The doctor was supposed to be trans-friendly, after all. When we arrived, it was better than I expected. The receptionist asked me for my preferred pronouns and name, and I was entered into the system as Rose, the first official use of that name. The doctor actually knew about the Newman Goldfarb protocols and was okay with it after I explained my quite unusual situation. We talked about all the risks and side effects and what exactly I'd have to do. I left with a promised prescription if the blood tests turned out okay.

A few days later, I got the medication and started my HRT regime. It would only be for 5½ months after all because of the tight timing. It was questionable if the result would suffice for feeding a baby, but I could always top up with a bottle.

* * *

In the following days, I felt ... nothing. What did you expect? Giant boobs overnight?

Chat asked about my wedding and wanted me in a wedding dress, of course.

"You know, you only marry once if you're lucky. And I won't do this forever. The wedding photos will last much longer. I want nice pictures that I can put on display. I don't want to be asked who the girl next to my wife is in all the pictures and where I am. So I'll probably marry as the manly man I am."

Chat didn't agree with me, though.

"You really want me in a dress, don't you?" I continued. "But I need compensation for missing out on proper wedding photos. And a dress would be expensive. I can't use a cheap one like last year."

We agreed on a $15,000 donation goal.

It was good that Katie liked me in skirts and dresses. I had asked her beforehand, of course. Her family had met Rose already too, and they seemed to accept me that way. I hoped that would extend to the wedding as well.

* * *

I noticed the first effects of HRT a few weeks later when my nipples became tender. It was good that I had to wear a bra anyway because it was a girl month, so no coarse material scratched my skin.

At my wedding, I had small but visible bumps. No more nip slips allowed. I had to wear a dress with a bit more coverage as I didn't want my fake boobs showing like when I streamed in a wedding dress.

All went fine that day, and I could consummate my marriage despite the female hormones flowing through my body. It just took a bit longer, which wasn't really a drawback. Chat would like to know that I actually wore one of the gift nighties I said I'd never use.

For the following months, the breasts grew more than I expected. At six weeks before the baby was due, I was a solid B cup. As I liked to wear baggy hoodies, it wasn't a problem for my male days. But then I stopped the hormones, and the pumping started. If I had known what it meant, I'd never agreed to all of this. My new breasts were delicate, and they sometimes hurt. And I had to do this about every three hours. I had to shorten the streams to be able to do that. The breasts grew even more in that time, and I produced milk eventually. The amount increased steadily, and I was ready when the baby was due.

* * *

Ella arrived one day after the calculated date. We chose the name my parents would have given me if I'd been born a girl. Katie was the first to hold her. After a few minutes, it was my turn to start my motherly duties. It took some time for Ella to get hungry while she snuggled up against my chest, but then she latched onto my breast and had her first of many snacks. I now had literal Mommy milkers.

I stayed at the hospital with my wife and daughter for two days, dressed as Rose for the whole time. It was strange that somebody other than the mother would breastfeed, but it would be even worse to be recognized as a man doing that. Fortunately, I had mastered my female voice by that time, so I passed as a woman.

Some people knew that I was actually a guy, of course, and it leaked. It leaked worldwide. A tabloid paper had an article about a man breastfeeding with a nice photo of me holding Ella against my breast. Some people recognized me, and the story was quickly linked to my online presence. The interest was enormous, the number of messages overwhelming. Fortunately, my street address and phone number weren't leaked. At least I got some money out of it as my subscriber count skyrocketed.

* * *

We needed a few days at home to get into a routine. A newborn demands a lot of attention besides feeding every two hours. We decided against a nanny for now as the hourly cost would be more than what Katie made in her job, so she quit her job. That meant I had to keep the money coming in. I had produced some Minecraft videos in advance, but I soon had to appear on stream again.

Chat wanted to know all about me breastfeeding Ella, of course, and I had to indulge them. They wanted to see my boobs too, but all they got was a bit of my now natural cleavage.

After some time, Katie opened the office door with my daughter in her arms. "Hey Rose, Ella is hungry again," she announced.

"Okay, chat," I said. "It was nice to talk to you, but as you see, I have other duties."

The computer chimed, announcing a donation. The text to speech function then read out the attached comment. "Please stay longer. You can breastfeed while streaming." Then I saw the donation amount, $1000.

I was speechless. I hadn't planned to show Ella on stream, let alone feeding her. I should have said no quickly, as my indecision was enough for other donations to come in with the same sentiment.

"Guys, stop," I pleaded to no avail as more and more donations came in.

What should I do? This was my family's main source of income, and I didn't want to get my audience mad at me, especially the many new subscribers.

"Can I really do that?" I asked myself and looked at Katie for help.

After some contemplation, she nodded.

So I turned my chair around and readied myself. Then my wife gave me Ella, and I let her latch onto me. I covered up as much as I could and then turned towards the camera again.

* * *

The following morning I had a message from my streaming service provider that I was suspended because of sexually suggestive content.

I was aghast. Fortunately, it was only for a week, so I could handle it financially. But it was the first strike that could lead to further problems. And I didn't do anything unusual besides breastfeeding, and since when is that sexually suggestive content? I had been careful not to expose my nipples, so that shouldn't be the reason either.

I appealed the suspension and then sent out messages about it on all my other social media. With my newfound notoriety, news spread quickly and caused a shitstorm with the hashtag #normalizebreastfeeding.

It didn't take long for my streaming service provider to revoke the suspension and to apologize. They claimed it was a mistake by a new employee.

* * *

In the following months, I developed a routine that resembled my life before Ella as much as possible. Katie went back to studying, so as planned, I was the primary caretaker, which meant I didn't have much free time except when my wife took care of our daughter in the evenings and on weekends.

I took breaks from being Rose about every 3 weeks to record Minecraft videos as if nothing had happened. They needed to be longer than before as I could work part-time only. For those times, I finally had my male clothes back that had been locked away for so long. I actually needed them. The hormones didn't only affect my breasts but made my face even more feminine. So I had to send male vibes with my clothes to avoid getting called Miss.

Against my predictions, my girl month donation targets were still reached, even though I increased them by $5000 each time. It had been a close call before Ella was born, but with the influx of many new followers, the targets were again reached easily.

Ella appeared on stream regularly, still demanding to be fed every three hours at least. Somehow she was the highlight for many watchers even though I tried to normalize it as much as possible.

* * *

I told my audience once again that they would soon fail to reach the target and that I'd grow a beard once girl months were over when Katie came into the office, very excited.

"I'm pregnant again," she announced.

"Oh my god. Mommy milkers, but pee-pee still working," I said. A bit immature, but that's what it is.

The computer chimed, and text to speech announced, "Congratulations. Does that mean Rose will stay with us for the coming future?"

The end of this story