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I've been working on the next chapter of Janegirl Camp, where Zee, Raine, and Jess join a Gender Chat session hosted by Mrs Shepherd. After everyone there introduces themselves, I was thinking of there being a gender themed question and answer session, but I'm not sure what sorts of questions might be interesting. Does anyone have any suggestions of what gender themed questions you might have asked, if you were a kid between ten and twelve, while being a camper at Janegirl Camp?
Comments
i think the biggest question I would have asked
would have been something like "can I be girly and still be a boy, at least sometimes"? well, that and "Nobody is gonna hurt me for wanting to be a girl here are they?"
Both those questions ...
... are really good! I think I may be able to include one, if not both of them, in my story. Thank you, Dot! :)
it just occurred to me
that I would have had massive amounts of PTSD at that age, much of it connected to my girly side. If I went to that camp, I would hope it had someone trained in recognizing PTSD symptoms and able to assist if I got flashbacks or the like
Having staff members ...
... who can help campers with that sounds pretty important. I'd really like to have that sort of support be a part of Janegirl Camp.
Company
Any number of kids in a first-ever camping/away from home experience will naturally feel uncomfortable. Assuming this is very true to life, even within a family that accepts the child's gender questioning, there will be doubt; expressed or inferred that leads the child to feel nervous about how they will be accepted by complete strangers. And just like every childhood situation, there will be understandable self doubts. The camp is intended for exploration and not outcome, so there might be kids with second and third thoughts about the decision to attend.
And there will be kids just like any other away from home recreation experiece who WILL conclude - perhaps even immediately - that this is NOT what they want. Will the boy/girl be free not to participate en femme? And just like any other camp, will there be kids who never wanted to be there but family decided for them anyway?
Like any kids their age, will there be cliques? Kids who actually might look down on those girls they don't deem girly enough? Kids, especially middle-schoolers, can be cruel; and that frequently out of their own lack of self esteem. Either way, if there's a T.A.R.D.I.S. or some such thing that can transport this old lady to that camp at 12 years of age, sign me up.
Love, Andrea Lena
I've been waiting ...
... a pretty long time, to hear that unique whirring/whooshing sound. If you ever hear that, run, don't walk towards it! It'll be me and the Doctor, on our way to take you to camp! :)
My Biggest Questions
Do I have a disease that makes me feel this way? Or, is it a mental illness?
The trick in writing this is not to get too preachy. Don't let the characters make speeches. Most of all, make sure the story arc has a purpose to move the story along.
But - you're such a great writer you know all of that better than me.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Most of the time ...
... I have more questions than answers, but I'll try to make sure nobody in this story gets too preachy. :)
I'd like to see ...
... these in the Gender Chat, or similar/all such 'sharing meetings':
- Where/who to go to if there are problems ("Safety People"), if someone is lonely, afraid, another camper (or even staff) is a problem, they're homesick, have massive doubts, ...
- Say that what happens in the meetings, stays in the meetings (but OK to ask camp staff),
- A "Talking Stick' or token, so no-one is 'talked over', and everyone gets to say all they need to in each 'turn',
- Make sure that especially the shy and scared have a turn to speak, even if only to say "pass" and hand the Talking Stick to the next person,
- Schedule the Chats just before a Quiet Rest/"siesta" time so there's no pressure to stop, or to leave early to get to next activity,
- Allow for a cool-down/check-in time at the end, to be sure everybody is reasonably OK,
- Say it every time, that the leader (and all staff) have an open door for anyone who wants to talk.
Thank you!
Those are all excellent suggestions. I'm not sure if I'll be able to fit in all of them, but I'm definitely planning on making sure to including the talking stick part. :)
My faults
What questions will be asked is based on the individual. For example returning kids will have questions based on their experiences after they left Kemp last year. Some of the more girly boys may I ask how to they get into the camps girl wardrobe. If it wasn't covered in the introduction to Janegirl camp toilet arrangements i.e. boys and Janegirl ( rename girls toilets) toilets. Also so how girly do I have to be? Can I wear my breast forms? Do you have breast forms I can borrow? Why bring this up because girls have this age would be experimenting with them anyway. Then I think the biggest question of them all at least for the tgs what it takes to transition and what are the consequences of it. And last for me me more general enquiries on the camp itself and facilities.
I am a male lolita.
So what is lolita fashion http://lolita-tips.tumblr.com/faq
Oh wow!
Those are some really good questions. I'm not sure how much of it I'd include in the chat, but I think they'd definitely be worth working into later parts of this story.
I am pretty sure this will be
I am pretty sure this will be the first chat of many in a camp like this more likely at least 1 a week with others on specific topics.
I am a male lolita.
So what is lolita fashion http://lolita-tips.tumblr.com/faq
My concerns would have revolved around safety
Back then (and to some extent even now), my primary concern would have been safety:
* will what I do or how I talk or what I like to do result in the adults punishing or shaming me or the other kids picking on me?
* what do I do if other kids are picking on me?
* where can I go if I want to be alone? (Then as now, I would only have felt really safe when alone.)
The only gender-related questions I had back then were things like: why do people have these weird ideas about what's okay for boys but not girls and vice versa? (Back then, I got grief from other kids and even a few adults because I: (a) could cook coffee cake from a mix, (b) could use the washing machine, and (c) played the piano.)
And if I saw other boys dressing in girl clothes or playing jump-rope or whatever, my main question would have been: will I get into trouble or get picked on if I try to do that, too?
And how can I be sure that I won't get harassed or bullied when I get home for what I do here?
I'm probably an extreme case, since for most of my growing-up I felt like everyone was against me and no one was ever on my side, a feeling that sticks to me even now, a half-century later. As a result, I never really adopted society's attitudes about gender as my own, because they always seemed like just pretexts for harassing me or punishing me or humiliating me. But I suspect safety and feeling safe are big issues for most non-conforming kids (whether in the area of gender or elsewhere.)
Providing a safe space ...
... is definitely one of the main goals of Janegirl Camp. I dealt with both physical an verbal abuse for the way I acted at school, so I can understand how feeling safe would be important. Thanks so much for bringing this up! :)
"why am I here?"
Another possible question: "why did my parents send me here?" (IIRC, your protagonist doesn't know, or doesn't want to admit to knowing.)
This apparently actually happens in real life. At least, Jazz Jenning's autobiography tells when she was sent to a real-life version of this camp, there was one boy in their cabin who didn't know why he was there, and wasn't until his cabinmates started trying to get him to talk that he confessed to feeling like a girl inside and they explained that that was why they were all there that the light went on.
BTW, how does your "JaneGirl Camp" differ from the real-life versions? I believe we have a few here in the USA.
I've heard of places ...
... similar to Janegirl Camp, but I'm not really familiar with them, so it'd be tricky to say how they would be different. I *think* one way is Janegirl Camp is different, is it's limited to children who were assigned male at birth. There's probably other things that are different as well, but I'm not sure what it'd be.
Want to be a girl
What's transgender? Is that a boy turning into a girl?
Will you tell mom and dad if I want to be a girl?
The questions would probably be one liners and simple. For today's age where transgender is not that much in the closet any more I have no idea. Back in the dark ages it would be the most frightening thing in the world to mention provided anyone understood the word transgender. Around that age I was asked why I was wearing a dress and who took the pictures when pictures that never should have left my safe space got into the wrong hands.My mother's friend. I had already been caught and grilled several times before why I was wearing a skirt or a dress. I didn't answer and the pictures were never returned. A lot of things have faded from memory with the passing of time but I can recall the pictures as vividly as if I had them in front o f me now.
Hugs Rose
Barb
When life catches you in a dress, refuse to answer without a lawyer present.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
:)
When life catches you in a dress,
refuse to answer without a lawyer present.just be pretty and ignore them.I am a male lolita.
So what is lolita fashion http://lolita-tips.tumblr.com/faq
Keeping the questions simple ...
... sounds like a good idea. I'm imagining campers will have varying levels of understanding about gender, so it would make sense for at least some of them to be asking what it means to be transgender. Thanks for the feedback! :)
{{{hugging back}}}
Similar Tactis
Some of these nice tactics appear in "Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism" (Robert Jay Lifton). You might wish to research this for other tactics as well.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
Huhhh ...
The title of that book sounds interesting. I'll have to try looking it up some time. :)
No longer a problem
Jeans and a blouse, satin shirtwaist dress, silk blouse and swede skirt, and for most of the summers around the farm, a denim miniskirt and a shell top. The mailman, those who come in off I-40 and others don't seem to notice. Walked out to meet the UPS driver last week. He asked me if I wanted him to put the sixty plus pound hyd pump on the porch? He laughed when I rolled it out the door and told him that's far enough. The doctor4's office, Amarillo, OKC, i'm in a dress or skirt. I'm shameless.
Hugs Daphne Appreciate the pointer to the book. It is one I haven't read. I'll have to get it.
Barb
Life is too short to waste it hiding. I did that. I not doing it any longer.
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl
Gender neutral.
All my life (75 years) I have swung like a pendulum between male and female though slowly the female swings have increased while the male swings have reduced until, at 69 I finally transitioned. The question I would ask at such a camp is the same question I asked myself when I was six to nineteen.
-
1 Why did I flip-flop back and forth and what made me do it?
(The doctors and psychiatrists could never answer by the way.)
2 The hardest thing looking back to those days (1952 to 1960), was that all the therapies seemed to have a punitive element.
Why?
I don't know ...
... if I have answers to those questions. Actually I don't have answers to a lot of questions. Still, they seem like good questions to ask. Thank you for bringing them up! :)